Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. And the Oscar goes to Silky Penne.

Oh please Silky Penne. I'm Italian but I speak with an AU fixant. A brogue. And one and two and we are perverts. Hey everyone it's Adal Riddle. Erin texted us that exact phrase maybe two weeks ago and I told her After I died laughing, I said, that's how we're going to start the next episode. And so true to our word, we had to start with we are perverts.

I don't even have a guess at the context. Why did I say that?

I love in our group texts, it's always like the funniest stuff.

Hey guys, that's where the real funny comedy is. That's where the weird funny comedy happens. If you're listening to the podcast, you're getting kind of like the filtered shit that makes it through Casey's little sticky audio thing.

You're getting a run off.

Wouldn't Morr get stuck in his sticky audio fingers? I don't want to think about it.

You think? You think? But in the GT, the group text, that's where the real laughs go down. And we do shit like, we are perverts.

I will say, there have been times where I've laughed out loud at the text messages you two and Casey will send. You're funny over text. Not everyone has that skill. There are very few people who are as funny over text as they are in real life. You two are very funny.

Maybe funnier, but inevitably we all have a great time every day we text and then at some point someone says, okay, we need to start charging for our group texts. We need to start, we have to monetize the group texts somehow. So maybe we'll figure out a way to do that. You can pay a quarter a month and you can see what our group texts are.

That's our version of when people are like, we should have a reality show. No, no, no one should.

Me and my friends are so funny. We should have a reality show.

The We Are Perverts thing was in reference to when you lost your blood and I said that I had it, but it wouldn't be any good to anyone anymore after what I had done to it.

It sounds like he's joking, but that's actually what happened.

Can you read from that to where we said, to where Erin texted that? I'm sure I surely can.

Will you? Oh yes I can. Erin said, I'll be home in 20 and we'll upload right away. Now this isn't a reference to uploading the files for the episode. Then Erin said, I'm coming from the doctor, where they, caps, lost my blood. So I didn't get my test results back. So if you guys could keep an eye out for my blood, I'd really appreciate it. Adal said, my god, I don't know if that's a reference season second non sequitur. Casey said, sorry, I didn't know you still needed that. I said, I technically have it, but it's different now. I don't think it would be much use to anyone except a select group of perverts. Erin said, well at least I know it's in good pervert hands. Adal said, is it that the Allstate slogan? Erin responded, we are perverts.

That's got to be our new, that's how we have to start every episode is we are perverts.

But it's true the doctor lost my blood. And I wanted to be mad and yell. But I was like, oh, but these health care workers have it horrible. And I don't want to hurt any of their feelings. But I had to go in twice to give blood to get a test because not enough blood came out the first day. So they're like, come back tomorrow. We'll get more blood out of you. And they poked me 14 times altogether. I went in and they said, we lost your blood.

And Erin, you're still going to Dr. Aculo, right?

Yes, thank you. It's also a bar.

It's a fine line. It's a fine line between we have to respect healthcare workers and they keep losing my blood. Because your blood feels like something that's pretty important.

Yeah, here's the thing. It's not their fault. I think there's... I have very slippery blood. I think I am in a pocket of time where I'm having pretty extraordinarily bad luck. Lots of like weird things like that going wrong in my life. But they're all like lower stakes things.

Sure.

Like I'm fine with it. Like went to go get my hair dyed. She dyed it really dark purple and then I was like that's not right. She was like I... Amen. That is bad. This is not what I meant to you. And then she said, come back after all of my haircuts for the day and I won't leave because she was so sweet. And she was like, we'll stay here all night. And so the salon was closed. It's like 9 p.m. My whole head's been bleached. Not my head. It's my whole head of hair.

No, no, no. You said what you said. I'm starting to think this person didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

And we should mention for listeners who can't see, Erin's eyeballs are dissolved. Her head has been bleached.

She bleached my whole hair and then... Your teeth have never looked better though, Erin. Oh, well thank you.

They bleached everything.

And also I'm very clean. All the bacteria's gone. Even the good kind. Anywho, sat for nine hours in her chair and then left with I mean, how do I describe this? Adal, when he saw me over Zoom for the first time with my new hair, sent me that picture of the lady from Aquaman, like true clown red hair.

True clown, that's what it's called, true clown red.

It is called, the package does say true clown red.

Well, I was inspired by our live show, our most recent live show, because my hair, for whatever weird reason, looked so red on the screen. And I was like, you know what? I'm a redhead by birth. I feel like most of myself when my hair is a little bit red. I'm going to go red. And it went too far. But I'm getting it fixed this week. So I'll look normal. But. That's beautiful. Sorry, I talked so much, but I was excited to tell everyone about my blood being lost and my hair being red.

What I would like to say... That sounds like a country song lyric. Maybe she died.

Maybe she died. My hair with my blood.

Maybe she picked up on it. She's so empathetic and she knew that you were missing your blood. She's like, well, she's missing her blood. What can I do to remind her of her blood that she used to have? I'll dye her hair blood red. And that way she'll have a connection to her missing blood.

Maybe your hair is dyed with blood. Maybe it's Maybelline.

So the doctors misplaced your blood. You went to a hairdresser after 9 p.m. after everything was closed and sat for nine hours until the sun came up.

No, I started at 1 p.m.

You are only frequenting vampire businesses.

You're right. And this is, you know what, I'm fine with this bad luck because it's pretty low stakes and I'm only crying like a little. How are you guys?

And you're crying blood.

Well, stigmata. Because I feel like it's kind of stolen valor. I like to talk a big game about being a pervert, but I just don't think that I can hang with that community. And I think that if the perverts come from me and they start really drilling down and asking me specifics, I'm gonna look... You know in 40 Year Old Virgin when Steve Carell is trying to describe touching a woman's breast? It's gonna be like that but for perversion with me. I'm gonna say like bags of sand and everyone's gonna know that's a movie that ages really well by the way. There's a whole sequence where Paul Rudd, is it a chair? Oh man, yeah. Go back and give that a look.

Well, CPC, I'm starting to think that people don't even know who you are. So you're not a pervert and you don't drink piss every day?

Who even are you? I don't know. I mean, I guess I have pervert qualities, but am I a stone cold pervert? And if anything, I'm the biggest pervert of the three of us. So can we really claim that we are perverts when I'm our biggest pervert?

So wait, a stone-cold pervert is a pervert who enters the ring to music, smashes two beers together, drinks them both. Hardly drinks any beer, by the way. It dribbles down his chin. He gives a double bird. Flip the double bird.

Kicks someone in the stomach, grabs them from behind the neck, slams them into the mat.

Pervert 316.

Is that from the Bible?

How to answer this. Adal, did you and your friends growing up ever like wrestle? Like wrestle each other? Like imitating like WWE? Yeah, WWE I guess at that point.

Not a ton really. We would watch wrestling from like 96 to 2000. We were obsessed with wrestling and the battle between WCW and WWF at the time. Eric Bischoff versus Vin Superman. But the only time I once power a friend of mine was shooting something and he asked me to power bomb him on top of a car and so I did that and it dented and I was careful about it but it still It still dented the hood of the car and it also broke a window. Of course it did. So that was my experience and he was totally fine and he was like perfect that was that was perfect because he wanted it to look like it was causing damage and it did to the car of course. So that was my experience.

You two are professional wrestlers and you're about to wrestle but you've been told to try not to break anything or ruin everything because where you're wrestling is very fragile.

Okay Trash Can Tony, you're in for a world of hurt.

You think I'm gonna be in a world of hurt? Wait till Trash Can Tony takes you, axe handle Ricky, and smashes you into this fine banquet center.

Oh, here we go. Grabs a trash can. Can you put one of your legs in here? Just be careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful.

Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful.

Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

Round two.

Are we in a boxing match?

I don't know. Okay. All right. All I learned from that experience is that you two have the perfect voices for villain sidekicks together. And I think someone should write a Disney movie. I'm the villain, like Ursula or the mom from Tangled.

Hey Erin, when you say villain, it already has its own connotations. You don't have to give examples.

No, but I want to be like those kind of villain. And you're like the flotsam and jetsam. And you both have like a weird voice.

Isn't there a scene that we did where Erin was the villain and we were the henchmen?

Maybe. When she took over the moon or something. We also talked about in one of the review crew, we talked about if we were Disney characters, I would be a cartoon horse in JPC. I can't remember what it was, but it was after we watched Road to El Dorado.

You guys are obsessed with the show. Ooh. Embarrassing much? Bands of Hey Riddle Riddle much? Yikes.

Erin, the thing I said about people know what the word villain means, you don't have to give examples, is because I've been spending some time on this app called Clubhouse, which is kind of fun, but there's so many different seminars. It's so much of... Who?

An app that's kind of fun. Tell me more.

There's so much on there that's like you pop into these meetings or these groups or whatever and it's all about they just say the word brand a million times and I listened to one that was exhausting and I can't stop laughing at it which was just like and I've listened like two or three of these that are the exact same thing where people are like You gotta get your brand out there. The biggest investment you can make is to invest in yourself. You know, if you're a singer, you should sing. If you're a dancer, you should dance. If you're a chef, you should cook. And they list like 100 examples. And I'm like, this person has nothing to say.

If you're a pervert, you should pervert.

You should perv. But it's so funny to me of like just just that anything that involves the word branding is just makes my skin crawl and then just that that type of person who's like I am I'm gonna tell you how to like brand yourself on social media and they're just talking in circles there's no substance to it it's just like it's popcorn there's no I don't know it's exhausting. But funny, but funny.

I'm interested in this a little bit because social media branding is definitely something near and dear to my heart. Now, if you're trying to build a following on social media, should every three tweets, should you talk about drinking your own piss or is that not something that you should be doing? Especially if you don't want to be branded as like a piss-drinking pervert.

Erin, you're old man puzzles today. You have the fingers and eyes of a pervert, so whether or not you like it, you are a pervert. They're in jars all behind me. Wow, I like that kind of joke. Erin, you are old pervy puzzles.

You're pickled with piss. You know what guys, I'm going to hang out over on the Patreon where no one makes me do a single riddle. It's way more fun over there. I'm going to walk over to the Patreon.

It is more fun.

Okay, I'm over at the Patreon. Do the episode without me.

Okay. Okay.

No, don't say that. I'm coming back. Fine. Okay, here we go.

We certainly could. The show would be worse.

Oh, that's for sure.

Less people would listen to it.

I think it would do great. I think you guys are great and you don't need me.

Why are you rolling your eyes?

I'm not. Okay. I'm happy to be here and that is what is true. And what also is true is that we're doing listener submitted riddles because I love those. These come from Tim Hood, which it says here, he is Robin Hood's little brother and he steals from the poor to give to the rich. Pretty cool.

I am Tim Hood. Let's see what's going on. Oh, your carburetor is attached to the engine. That's your problem.

That's a good Tim Hood voice. JBC, wanna try?

Yeah, of course I have one. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

JBC's looking around the room.

Hi, I'm Tim Hood. I'm Robin Hood's little mechanic. And no, that's Adal's and Erin's thing. No, don't. Come back to me, come back to me.

I'll do over time. Hello, I'm Tim Wood. I make floats from trees.

Hey Riddle.

Get taken out of the garden. Get switched to a flute. And that immediately kills the tree. Might as well have ripped it out.

Oh my man, you don't make flutes. You ruin trees.

Okay, okay. These are from Tim Hood. Thank you Tim for sending these. He wrote us some warm-up riddles. They're a format I don't think you've done on the show before. These puzzles are two words that differ by one letter. For example, rain and pain, or coin and chin.

These are often called... They won't always rhyme.

No. They'll never rhyme, I don't think. Well, if the first letter changes... Well, after that one.

Rain and pain. If the first letter changes, they will rhyme.

Okay, these are often called orthographic neighbors. I think I'm saying that right. I will give you two clues And you have to guess the other two words. They vary in difficulty, but feel free to pick and choose your favorites. Enjoy! Ready?

You don't have to give us permission to pick and choose our favorites. We do that anyway.

Okay, you are allowed to enjoy this.

I will say that I do thank Tim for giving me permission to enjoy it because there has been so many times in my life where I've approached a task as work and as something, you know, it's like, I don't want to do it. But when someone tells me to approach it from a place of joy, I have joy in my heart and now I'm ready to play the game.

Why are you sad? No one gave me permission to enjoy my birthday cake. Okay, beef and hot ice.

Beef and hot ice. Okay, so hot ice is steam. Steam. And beef is steed? No. Steer. Steer? Steer and steam? No. But that's E-A-N-E-E, right? Yeah. Beef and hot ice. Hot ice evaporated. Steak-erated beef and hot ice. No, are we right with steam, Erin?

Steam is hot ice. No. Fuck me, Tim Hood, you fucking piece of shit! I want to see a scene. Hold on, hold on. That's an overreaction.

I take that back. Yeah.

I want to see a scene. The two of you are a morning zoo crew. And you are, this is early mornings with beef and hot ice.

Good morning, morning, morning, morning, morning. Hey everyone, I'm your old pal, Hot Ice. And I'm here with my baby brother and biggest pain in my ass, Beef Beef. Say hello!

Move over! Beef in the house!

What's for dinner?

It's beef!

Beef? Whaaa? What's in the news this morning?

Cow! A bugger!

Beef, beef, beef in all the news!

It's a news feeding frenzy. Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.

And I'm here with that.

Move over news.

Hey guys, guys. Here comes me. Guys, sorry, sorry, I just have to step in. We will add the effects for you. I can't stress enough. I have a sound board behind in the studio here and I'll add the effects here. Here we go.

Lillard, Lillard, if I trusted you to add the effects, the effects would be in there, but they're never in there. And I see what you do. You hit one sound. You hit two sounds. Beef, as a character, needs his sounds.

Okay, fair enough. I'll say out of it.

Yeah, give us one more shot.

Okay, go ahead.

Give us another chance.

And we're back on.

Wha-wha-wha-wha hot ice dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum d

I would love a morning show that was just fucking absolute utter chaos. I would listen to that.

That just feels like Hey Riddle Riddle but in the morning.

Okay, so hot ice. It's more of what happens.

Melt.

Melt.

Melt and meat. Meat and melt. Ooh, I love a meat melt.

Ooh, go to steak and shake at a nice patty melt. First go, melt.

Completed and area.

Completed and area. Okay, completed and area. Done zone.

Mm-hmm. Yes! That's where I'm putting one of you if you do a bad job this episode. You're going into the DUNZONE.

It's like the Discovery Zone, but it's when you're being a bad kid.

I would love it if you're just reselling a house and you're like, this house comes with the DUNZONE. And it's like, does that say dungeon? It's like, no, no, no, no. It's a Z. It's a DUNZONE.

What is that? Is it like a panic room? What is that?

No, it's a done zone. You know, it's got your whips and your chains and your sex horse and your big swig.

Oh, like a sex room. No, a done zone. Honey, I think we gotta buy this place.

It's where my husband starts to fuck me and then he goes, oh, I'm done. They're done some. Y'all done?

All right, next one.

Please.

Pieces and Notre Dame home.

Cathedral and Reese's.

Uh, France and France.

Wait, can you repeat it again?

Pieces and Notre Dame home.

What city is Notre Dame in? Paris. Paris and... Paris? Paris and then pieces would be Paris.

Reese's, Reese's, Reese's of me.

Go on, take another little Reese of my heart. Paris and... Yeah, so Paris I know, what the fuck is pieces?

It's the second to last letter. So it's the I, Paris, and... These pieces are blank of a whole.

Part.

Parts. Parks.

No, I didn't say parks.

Parks. Yeah, it's parks.

All right, next one. TV show and tennis beginnings.

Tennis Beginnings.

So tennis begins with a hug. The two players hug each other and they say, good luck at tennis.

They say, I forgive you even if you win. I forgive you even if you win.

I'm not mad anymore, Jeff. Good luck at tennis.

You don't have to feel guilty for winning. You don't have to feel guilty for winning.

Next time on Tennis Beginnings, um, TV show and Tennis Beginnings. So a serve and a sitcom.

Uh, plural of that word.

Serves. Serves and TV show Serves.

This one was tricky for my brain to get when I was going through.

Is this the name of an actual TV show or it's what you would call a TV show? Serves.

Serves. Serves. Servan.

So definitely keep those first three letters.

So we keep an S-E-O, well. Oh, serves in series.

Mm-hmm. You got it. Wow, you're amazing.

V to the I. A series of unfortunate serves.

Uh, sing-song voice and Scottish pants alternative.

Kilt and, um, Wilt?

Mm-hmm. Wow, you're really good at these. Wow. These are fun too. I hope more people send these in.

These are great. Wait, I'm enjoying this.

Hey, do I like this show? Tall paper and kings and queens.

Tall paper? What?

Cards and Flards. Cards and Flards.

Tall paper and kings and queens.

The game is cards and flards, gentlemen.

Jacks are high and queens are dumb. I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Erin, it's Cards and Flards. Adal and I, we're playing blackjack at a casino. The dealer just swapped out. So I'll play the first dealer and I'll leave. And you're coming at it, you're just rewriting the rules.

Cool.

That's my time gentlemen. Good luck with the rest of your game.

Thank you so much. Oh man, what a, what a streak. We're not, we're really raking it in. Hot, hot streak. Here we go. New dealer.

All right, the name is Cards and Flards, gentlemen. What is gonna happen is I'm gonna put this down. It's two pair of die, Princess Diana cards, okay?

Those must be worth a fortune. You should protect those.

Yes, and then also the Princess Diana Beanie Baby. And I put that right there, and then I flip these cards upside down. See, they're blank, and that's that part of it. You're going to want to think that fives are high in this game. They're not even in this game. So just wipe that from your mind.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did you say that your name is Cards and Flards? Is that how you introduce yourself?

My name's Cards P. Flards, but the name of the game is Cards and Flards.

Are you okay from snorting all that marijuana?

Oh, so you saw. So you saw. I meant to do that sort of angle the way from you. The leaves, full leaves, of the marijuana plant. How can you tell? The shape? Alright, so Cards and Flards. It's a very distinctive leaf.

It's one of the most distinctive leaves.

I'm gonna take the little car from the game of life that have those people poking out I'm gonna paint them just a neutral color cuz I don't need the pink little ones and the blue little ones anymore I'm gonna put them in a snow globe. I'm gonna break the snow globe. I'm gonna bring this puppet out Okay, the puppets going to roll the dice and up that means trouble pretty pretty princess on the puppet ate the dice You're the puppets. You're the motherfucking puppets Did we win?

I had 50 bucks on this game

All right, I'm gonna take, uh, oh, 50 bucks. Sir, you are up to 50 rubles.

I don't know the conversion rate, but it feels like I'm doing really well.

Me neither. Alright, gentlemen, new round, new game, new round.

Yeah, new game, new game. Dan, I think I'm actually starting to get cards and flards.

I'm one of the puppets.

I'm still lost. I'm one of the puppets. I've doubled my rubles here, so I'm gonna do 400 rubles on the seven puppet, and you're not gonna trick me. I know there are no fives in this game, so I'm gonna triple my twos, and then I'm gonna bet all around the shack.

Careful, someone from in here is gonna come over to break your legs. You're doing so good. That's part of the game. Alright, now I'm green, gentlemen.

I'm showing marijuana too. Do casinos break legs when people are winning?

Yeah, you're the puppet, dude. If you don't think they are breaking legs when people are winning, you're the puppet. Dude, you're the puppet. Anyone need a martini, another martini?

I was wondering why this casino is so empty.

And then next thing's next, I'll tell you, it's 13 Dead End Drive. This bookshelf's gonna follow you. Not in real life, just in the game.

Just in the game.

Round six. No fives. Let's go.

Wait, is this a wrestling match? Seen. I'm tripling.

Wow, if I knew anything, that would be easier. If I had any information in my head about anything, that would have been easier to navigate. Sorry guys.

Oh yeah, life would be so much easier if I knew anything.

We have, when we do, so, what do we say, on July 17th, which is 7-17, which 7-17 p.m. is Riddle clock, because it's, what do we say, 69,420 seconds into the day? When we have our event, we have to have Erin run a table. That's that game.

Cards and Flards.

Cards and Flards.

If this episode's not called Cards and Flards, I'm writing my lawyer, I'm writing my congressman, and I'm writing my dad. And it's all the same man.

We share all of those with you. We all have the same lawyer, the same congressman, and the same dad.

We'll have to organize, I'm sure this already exists, but we've never been invited to one, a podcast festival. And we'll invite all of our favorite podcasts and you get to see all of them. But more importantly, I will have a table where I try to squindle you all of your money by a game I make up on the spot, high, out of my mind on leads.

I bet 2020, 2020 I know was such a miserable year that I bet that there are people that are like, man, I miss podcast festivals. I'm so desperate to go out right now. I would go to a podcast festival.

I would totally do that. The right lineup. I need to be interested in three podcasts at one festival and I'm going and I'm hanging out and I'm having the best time.

Are they all comedy podcasts, Erin? Are you going to go to like, are you going to do like a true crime podcast? Does the festival need to mix it up?

Oh, I'm fully mixing it up. I'm going to wellness podcasts, trying to see if they're giving anything away for free. Sure. I'm going to like three comedy podcasts. I'm drinking started at 11 a.m. and I'm never going home. Would you go to something like that?

I, I, maybe not. I mean, I would go if it was because I only listened to like, um, uh, like political like media podcasts and comedy podcasts. And I don't know that I'm interested in seeing Any of it live? I guess maybe, but I'm not a concert guy anyway. In my mind, a podcast festival is like Lollapalooza, where people are on different stages and they're going over each other's slots by 15 minutes, and Hey Riddle Riddle is on the triple E stage at the other end of the thing, and it's like, hey, Marc Maron's going on in 15 minutes.

Good luck, guys. Magic Tavern's done three or four podcast festivals, and that's 100% the reality, which is One time we were scheduled up, I think we were scheduled up against like LaVar Burton Talks or whatever.

Oh, Bummer. Sorry.

And it was, it was a thing of like a lot of even our friends were there and they're just like, Hey, have a good show. And I'm like, Oh, are you not going to be there? And they're like, I was, but, but LaVar's on at the same time as you. And I'm like, you made the right choice.

Did you hear all those words? LaVar Burton Talks. I gotta go.

The next thing about all podcasts now being vehicles for bored celebrities, because every celebrity has a podcast, is none of those people are going to be interested in going to a live podcast festival. So when it's time for a live podcast festival, we can still get in there, baby.

Adal, there was a magic tavern live show. Hey Riddle.

That was a cool one because, yeah, I think we sold out or almost sold out the music box, which, yeah, it's like 600 seats. And then we all, after the show, we all walked over to, we're like, any fans who want to join us, we're going to walk over to the Burger King that is the setting for Magic Tavern.

Oh, because this is the Irving Park one?

Because it was like two blocks away. So we walked over to the Burger King and we hung out in the parking lot with like 50 fans for like an hour. The employees were so confused.

What is this?

Are you robbing us?

Are we bouncing back as a restaurant? Do people care?

It's July. It's too early for ghost tours. This is the most haunted Burger King in the world.

I associate that Burger King with a time that I was on the date, maybe like the summer I moved here, and a guy tried to go through that I was on the date with, tried to go through on his bike, and they would let him. And he was like, oh, unbelievable. And I was like, oh, I don't want to date him.

Were you on pegs? Were you on pegs?

No, I was just standing in the parking lot.

Oh, no.

So this guy was like, I'm not hungry.

This guy took you on a date where she was on a bike and you were walking?

Yeah.

That's a date.

I gotta tell you, I will tell you, I think you might know who this is, so I think you'll laugh after.

Well hey, Erin, Erin, can I guess? Was it an improviser? Because that sounds like the bullshit they would do.

We could have a dude come up with. When Magic Tavern was first starting, maybe like the first three months we were going, I would walk to that Burger King Weekly and I would buy like little, I'd go to a container store and buy little wooden boxes and I'd write little notes and hide them inside boxes and then bury them around the Burger King. Because fans, we got a bunch of notifications on Twitter and stuff that fans were going to the Burger King to like get their picture taken or something and I was like I'm gonna start hiding all these little clues around the Burger King so if a fan finds it it's like a fun little Easter egg and then I stopped doing it because I realized it was insane.

Amazing. I bet there's a couple still there. Alright, let's finish these up and then we can go to break.

Okay, but can I tell you before we go to break, the number one most common improviser date suggestion is ride to the airport for the flight that I have to catch.

Oh, you guys, I could write an entire book of short essays. You know what, maybe I will, about dating male improvisers. It was the absolute nightmare of my life. It was crazy. Male improvisers on dates are hilarious.

Poor, mad, and oh baby, mostly white. The improviser story.

Oh, I wonder if he's going to be annoyed if I find any success in comedy.

Do you think he's going to be entitled to something? I wonder.

Interesting. Although I also have to say I have dated very lovely, very funny, interesting male improvisers as well.

I don't want to go on a second date. Why did I do something wrong? No, you're funnier than me and I can't take it. Will you please pick up the check?

Yeah, the amount of female friends who have dated male improvisers who call me being like, hey, I got a call back for a thing and so and so didn't. He's making it my responsibility to comfort him in this. Like, what should I tell him? And I was like, I don't know. I feel like we should all move just as a lady collective. Let's just get out of here. I think we're in too deep.

I don't know, maybe tell him he's poisoned and just walk away.

I don't know what to do anymore. Alright, we're gonna do these last three. We still haven't gotten this one. Tall paper and kings and queens.

Erin, I can't stress enough. There's no such thing as tall paper. Those are two words that we asked for together.

They're called male improvisers.

Royal? Is it royal?

Regal? Yep.

Riggle and legal. Oh, legal pad.

Legal pad. Nice, yeah. What do we call that?

Tall paper? Sure.

Now we do. Malice and apartment.

Malice doesn't live here anymore. Malice and apartment.

I actually think Malice would be a pretty beautiful name.

Abode and... Malice and... Oh boy. Malice and apartment. Envy and 3C.

No. I would also say that's okay. That's a great ABC show. I would say Think of it more like malice and could be a hotel.

Oh, rent, rent.

Like at the type of hotel room or?

Oh, a sweet, sweet and, and, um, Oh, sweet and unsweetened, uh, malice, malice, sweet and sweat.

Is this the S? What, how many?

Um, it's the second letter is my hint.

Sweet and spite. Spite. Oh, sweet, sweet, spite.

Sweet, spite, sweet. Spite.

Obey your thirst.

Speaking style and welcome. Cadence.

Is cadence the first one? No. Speaking style.

Accent.

Accent and welcome.

If I've decided to welcome someone and I'm

Um. Using a funny accent.

No. Yeah, you come in, yes, you can make it right this way.

Uh, accent and consent. I consent for you to enter.

Uh, no, but it, uh, I've, um, I'll blank my fate.

Accept.

Mm-hmm.

Accent and accent. Those were great.

Thank you, Robin. Love the show. Keep up the good work. Cheers, Tim Hood.

Ugh, motherfucker. Love the show, keep up the good work, they've obviously never listened.

No, I'm sorry, it's love the show, keep up the good work cheers. Tim is writing a letter to the television show Cheers telling them they are great. Never listen to our show. Speaking of never listening to our show, if you didn't listen to our show, we wouldn't have these advertisers. And now, listen to us talk about them for a while. Norm! Oh my god, Adal, Erin, I feel like such a fool. What happened? What did we do? You know how we all thought that these ads were kind of a safe space to talk about, you know, what's going on in our lives and our problems and our issues and kind of talk through them? Well, it turns out these are being broadcast to thousands of people in the middle of our episodes.

Yeah, you're talking into a microphone.

Wait, is that why we're getting paid for these? I know, I'm just as surprised as you guys, but I have landed on something revolutionary that is going to help us out of this pickle that we all find ourselves in and we're all in the same situation.

You know what?

See, I was about to recommend better help, but if you found something... I was about to launch into how I love pickles, because this is an opportunity for me to just rant and rave about what I like. Well, okay. Wait, Erin, what's better help? Oh, do you want to hear about Bradley Better Help Pickers?

No, I don't want to hear about your pickle theory. Why did I say pickles like that? From the South? I don't know.

Well, thank God I'm here because let me tell you about what my thing is and that is Better Help. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online. This is my favorite kind of way to get therapy because you can send a message to your counselor anytime and they're professionals and it's awesome and you don't have to do that performative one hour of therapy every week that stressed me the heck out. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.

And BetterHelp will help you with things like, you know, is there something interfering with your happiness, JPC? Is there something preventing you from achieving your goals, JPC? Sorry, I'm mentioning just what's affecting my happiness and affecting me from achieving my goals.

Yeah, and so with better help, not like our ads that go out to thousands of people, everything that you share is confidential, it's convenient, it's professional, and it's affordable, right?

Yeah, and you can start communicating in under 48 hours. That's less than an Eddie Murphy movie.

And it's available worldwide.

Okay, so you're saying that we want people to start living a happier life. And as a listener of our show, you can get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash riddle. JPC, no 10%. That's too much. I don't make the rules. I think that they should join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash riddle. This is way better than the idea I was going to pitch.

What were you going to say?

I was going to say whisper ads. We just whisper all the ads and so then we can hear the ads if we whisper all the ads.

Okay, I say this every day, but thank God I'm here. What would happen if I wasn't here, everybody?

Oh wait, GBC. Stop whispering. All these birds started landing on you. The birds are my friends.

What happened? Rifai wasn't here. Hey Riddle Riddle.

And we're back and you better believe trash can Tony that I am going to gently put you down. Are you okay? I'm going to set you down real. I got the back of your neck. Are you?

I've never been better in my entire life. Axe handler Ricky. Thank you for supporting my neck. Just lower me. Okay. Finish me.

Okay. Okay. Um, yeah. Hand or mouth. What do you want? Uh,

You'd rather he just assume?

No, I just want you to fight.

This is how we fight. We fight, we make up.

Sweetie, the only way we lose is if we let them get to us. Seed.

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes. So we have some more listener submitted riddles and these come from Sammy Hall. You have permission to use my full name. Thank you Sammy. Sammy has been listening to the show for a while. I love the show so much and listening to it helped me get through my last semester of law school and preparing for the bar exam.

Oh, law school. Someone has aspirations. Must be nice.

Well, we don't need to make fun of them because they clearly are going to be the weirdest lawyer ever. If they've learned anything from Hey Riddle Riddle, if we were mixed into their studies, there's going to be a lot of like, you're all know, I'm, I'm, be, I'm so a riddle. I think we've pretty much fucked their entire career. What do you think, JBC?

I'm into it.

Now we can have an actual- That's just what a pervert would say.

Now we can actually have a riddle court because we have legal representation.

Oh, that's true. All right. All the riddles suck, so these probably suck too. Feel free to use them or none at all. But anyways, here you go. Thank you so much, Sammy. This is exciting.

Thank you, Sammy. And congrats on the bar exam. If you did well. Ooh, yikes. If you were stirred and not shaken.

No, honestly more congratulations if you did it and you didn't do well. I think failing and doing bad at things is underrated. I think you did a great job.

Look, I love walking out of somewhere that I've just failed something and announcing to the world, flubbed it!

Yeah, that was not great when you did a surgery and walked out and said, flubbed it!

When I come out of an audition and I see a waiting room full of actors I'm up against and who are my rivals, I usually just go, I like wave my hand in front of my face, I go, careful boys, I just shit the bed.

Oh, I say, wow, I go out and loud enough for people to hear, I call my mom and say, mom, I think I got it. Our lives are about to change. Just to cut their confidence down.

And then you say dot, dot, dot, HPV. That's what I got. Oh, the audition? It went terribly.

I really stunk it up in there. I shit the ground. What did you say? This is the riddle.

Okay.

Some will call me a special skill of finding a computer's weakness. Others, however, wish me ill. I am fraud masquerading as meekness. Others still will perceive me as but a simpler way of doing things, a shortcut. What am I?

McAfee.

This is McAfee, an internet application that stops the viruses.

Did you know, and I just want to, um, I just want to kind of educate the two of you for a moment here. I don't know if you know this, but when computers were first created, um, there was the family of McAfee's. Now they had, um, 12 computers. A lot of them had viruses, but those 12 computers last them for the entire 80s. They had to use the processors and the Word documents, and that family today is now what's known as Jewish computers.

Sorry, sorry, I think I might be in the wrong class. What class are you supposed to be in? Art 101.

Oh no, I'm teaching the game Cards and Chards.

What was it called? A reading from the book of Maccabees. Love is patient. Bleep bloop.

Okay you guys, what would be funnier than if I ever get married, which who knows, if JPC, if I make JPC in earnest without any jokes or any bits, read the love is patient, love is kind.

I would 100% do it. 100% do it.

Well people would be anticipating there to be a joke the whole time.

Oh JPC, this is going to be so much funnier if there's no joke. Love is patient. Love is kind. I just read the thing. Thank you.

You would still steal the show when people realize that there is no joke. People would die laughing.

I think I could do it with no jokes and I think I could make it funny.

Erin, do you mind if I kick off things by going up?

I think you could too. Adal sorry go ahead.

Do you mind if I kick things off by going up in front of everyone and saying Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as a union of two people and then sitting down?

Yeah, and I'll be like, we didn't ask him to speak. No, even better, Adal. I'm going to pay you $600 to stand up and say, I object. And then I'm going to, for the rest of my life, be like, we didn't tell Adal to do that.

That wasn't a bid. What is he doing?

Adal, please, you're ruining my day. Yeah, so that's how my wedding will go if anyone wants to come.

Oh, speaking of, and here's the real question, Erin, and I'm going to ask it to you on the podcast, because that's the shittiest thing to do, and you have to answer honestly. Because you're one of my groom's people, are you going to come to the bachelor party?

I didn't know I was invited.

Of course you are.

I don't know. Am I enough of a pervert? The one thing you and all your guy friends have in common, huge, big old pervert. So you think I'm pervert enough.

Well that's our, the bachelor party is going to be we're all going to go to Milwaukee, we're all going to sit in a tree and be peeping Tom's.

And Erin, I gotta say, it's a JPC bachelor party, so you know there's gonna be staplers.

Ugh, lie. Yeah, I would completely go, of course, especially because I feel like it's just gonna be us sitting around a campfire and playing games. So yeah, of course, it sounds like the best time ever. I'm also fully gonna be wearing a lady suit. I'm gonna look amazing.

You're gonna wear a lady suit to the bachelor party?

Yeah. I'm gonna wear it the entire year you've come in.

At a campfire.

I am so excited for that. I truly can't wait. Okay. Do you know the answer to this or do I need to reread it?

I can't even begin to think of what the question was.

I remember it and the answer is hacker.

Yep, it's hack.

Technically.

Great job. Thank you. I am the result of a day spent in the fields and I can be quite taxing. I am also a creature that finds rolling in the mud to be in a word relaxing.

Piggy. Little pig.

Sweat pig. A 5013C non-profit.

Oh, taxing. Ah. So a day in the field and then also taxing. Is this okay?

Is it like a sunburn or like a sunstroke?

Well, no, it's a word that means two things. Oh, pork.

Because it's like what you eat and then fucking. Sunburn means two things. What does it mean? The sunburn that hits your skin and then like that girl is like a sunburn like a sunburn and I would like to say that girl is like a sunburn. She sticks with you.

That can't be a song.

What song is that? I can make that the answer.

What song is that?

Give him a second.

That girl's like a sunburn appealing?

Oh it's never let you go by third eye blind. I'll never let you go. That girl is like a sunburn like a sunburn. Yeah okay there we go.

Wait is that those are the lyrics?

Dude, that's the outro. The outro is, and I would like to say, that girl is like a sunburn, she's like a sunburn.

Well, they also have a song about taxes, which is, I wish you would step back from that ledger, my friend. You can be a CPA all time, but take some time for yourself.

Niggles and Dimes, yours and mine, did you cash in on your distributions?

I'm probably committing tax fraud right now. I don't know. I'm probably going to jail. I don't know how to do my taxes. I am the result of a day well spent in the fields. So, what do you do in the fields?

Crops. Yeah, you pick crops. You reap. Reap what you sow. Sow and sow.

You got it.

A sow is a pig and a sow is a shirt.

So there's a shirt and a tongue and there's a pig. Pig is a cow and a shirt is a cow. There's a pig and he's wearing a shirt. He looks very cute. What?

I want to see a scene. The two of you are the leads in the new Made for Farm Animals TV show, My Sow Called Life. My Sow Called Life is about two pigs. Just trying to make it through not having parents. No, that's party of five. What is, I don't know, I've never seen an episode of My Sow Called Life.

Being at like high school?

Yeah, so you're two pigs in high school trying to make your way in this wild, wild world. This is My Sow Called Life.

Gosh, if I get an F on that quiz, I'm gonna be baking by lunch.

Who cares about getting an F on that quiz? I'm trying to get an F in my biz. I'm horny as all get up.

I feel like we don't really listen to each other when the other is talking. Come on, we're supposed to be best friends. I'll help you handle your horniness and you pretend to mean me and go take the quiz.

Okay, but this is the last time that I'm taking a quiz for you and I want you to go talk to Brad Horse, the hottest pig in school.

Mmm, some people say he's a horse. Yum, yum. I promise I won't fall in love with him.

He's not a horse. He's just the tallest pig with the longest tail. He's right there. He's right there. I'll go take the test.

I'll go talk to Brad Horse.

Hey, what's up? You're quite a babe.

Haha, gives him a pig.

You want to check out my new set of squeals? I got a Ford pork chop.

Brad, why is your tail moving like that? Like it's a ponytail swaying in the wind?

No, it's not. Let me wrap it around my finger. Look, it's in the shape of a corkscrew. Swink, wink.

Why do you make so much noise while you walk? Like a clop, clop, clop, clop?

Oh, because I love pork clops. I've already used that joke.

Hey, hey, you can talk to me. I'm a really cool pig.

Yeah, all pigs are cool. That's why they roll around in the mud. It's the cool off. I mean, that's why we roll around in the mud. Can I tell you something?

Yeah.

I'm actually a spider.

What?

I'm a spider.

I knew it.

Inside a horse outfit pretending to be a pig.

Oh no, I'm falling for you because you're opening up to me. Oh gosh.

Well, flubbed it. What? Flubbed it. The math test, big time.

Are you just saying flubbed it because you love saying flubbed it or did you really flub it?

Scene. I'm Mrs. Spider, inside a horse, pertained to be a pig.

Asking you.

I was trying to think, I was like, what's the next slide of that Jerry Maguire face?

Wow, that flubbed-it moment was a perfect callback. How do you guys feel? We're here with JPC who just did a perfect callback in a Hey Riddle Riddle episode. JPC, how does it feel?

It's super hard to remember something one thing for 10 minutes, but I did it and I feel like I'm on top of the world. Where am I going? Mickey Mouse's house! I'm gonna kill that motherfucker. He's dead meat, you hear me, Mickey? Lock your doors, bitch, I'm coming.

Well, congratulations on a great game. All your teammates are dumping Gatorade all over you. We're out of fun.

It's not Gatorade, it's Mouse Blood. I'm coming for you Mickey.

We take you to Mickey Mouse's house. Who's there? Hello?

It's me. It's JPC. I did the perfect callback and now I'm here to finish what we started all those years ago, Mickey Mouse.

Why don't you take a peek through the mail slot? You're gonna see a dual action gauge pump shotgun pointed right at your digging balls, bitch!

Wait, what do you think I'm peeking through the mail slot with if it's pointed at my... Oh well, hurry up, blast it.

Come on!

Yeah!

I'm the king of pervs! Don't let this happen to your podcast. Keep a watchful eye that it doesn't slide into something like this. If you stop being vigilant, after 50 episodes or so, your show will become this.

Shit. I just got an email that we've been rejected from all podcast festivals.

That's fine. They're better off without us. All right. Ready?

Yes.

I am the embodiment of truth. One who speaks me may be a sage. I am a method of communication that has grown obsolete with age. Though I sound the same in each meaning, to call me a true homonym would be misleading. Instead, try to focus on what can be found when I am spelled differently, but with the same sound.

What? Letter.

Letter. I'm going to read it again.

I am the embodiment of truth. One who speaks me may be a sage. I'm a method of communication that has grown obsolete with age, though I sound the same in each meaning to call me a true homonym would be misleading. Instead, try to focus on what can be found when I am spelled differently but with the same sound. So, let's break it down a little bit.

Yeah, we've got the outdated method of communication. I feel like we're gonna get outdated method of communication. I think that's our entry point.

So Carrier Pigeon is obviously the number one with a bullet answer.

With a bullet.

And that's Alkeru Pigeon's style.

I'm sorry, that's Clay Pigeon. That's number one with a bullet.

No, I'm sorry, that's Clay Aiken.

That was amazing. That's really funny. I am the embodiment of truth. That's one of the definitions. And the other definition is I'm a method of communication that has grown obsolete with age. They sound the same, but they're spelled differently.

So it's not a letter.

It's not a story. What's obsolete?

A method of communication that is not necessarily so old. We're not talking hundreds of years old.

Got it. Oh, phone calls.

Little ode, or sort of at the same time for a while.

Little ode. Morse code.

No, a little bit like, you gotta be, I would say like, my dad at his job sent a lot of D's in there.

Oh, mimeograph. Singing telegrams?

Yeah, my dad sent a lot of singing telegrams.

You're fired today. We had the same idea.

Facts. Yep.

Facts and facts.

Facts and facts.

You got it. The facts of life. Again, I love to share so much and I hope that you like these riddles. Thanks for all you do and for keeping me sane during the pandemic. Sammy Hall. P.S. I never laughed harder than when Erin was playing R2-D2 in a scene and instead of beeping started screaming bloody murder to let out of the car. I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard I was crying and couldn't see.

Sammy, you did the right thing. If you're listening to a comedy podcast and you're laughing too hard while driving, pull over. Do you know why I pulled you over?

Because I was laughing at a podcast.

Yeah, I've gotten messages like that before of someone being like, I'm currently pulled over in the side of the road because X, Y, and Z just made me laugh.

We get a lot of tweets and stuff that are people are like, I almost crashed my car. I was laughing so hard. Be careful.

Don't do that. Or I got fired. A lot of people are like, people at my office look at me strange. Like I'm a JPC type.

But we don't get any emails, any letters, any fan communication saying, I was listening to your podcast. I took way too big of a bite of a hot dog. I almost died eating it. Or as soon as you're podcasting out a promotion. You gotta imagine, people are eating big hot dogs and getting promotions just as often as their traffic cars.

I am! Am I eating too many big hot dogs?

Alright, can I do one more riddle? Yes please. Alright, the riddle goes as such. How many big hot dogs are too many big hot dogs when you're waiting to find out about a promotion?

Yay! Yay Riddle for just for me!

There's never too many big hot dogs. You deserve big hot dogs whether or not you pass the bar or not.

You're a wiener baby. I enjoyed that so much that in the middle of me enjoying that I was like, wait a second, I'm an idiot. I'm dumb. This makes me happy and I'm dumb. That's my life. It's my real life. It's a real thing about me. I'm dumb as a box of rocks.

I take it all back. Please just say that at my wedding. All right. Last riddle. This one is from Zachary, but he said the girl who made this up is named Molly. So thank you Zachary and Molly.

Zach and Molly.

Yeah. They sound, I wonder if their friends are in love. Siblings will never know. Hi. Hey Riddle Riddle. Y'all are one of my favorite podcasts and I've been yearning to find a good riddle that y'all have never done before. So here you go. All right. Thank you, Zach and Molly. Here we go.

Our listeners know what the word yearning means.

They surprise me every day. There's a room full of balloons. None of them pop. But when you enter, it's empty. How?

Condoms.

Yeah, they're walking into my freaking bedroom and I slay, and I sling.

So, the floor's full of condoms. This is where the magic happens, or I make my dick disappear.

Are you blowing up the condoms?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I blow them up. I blow them out. Baby, baby, baby. Let me ask you this, Erin. Did it ever say that these balloons were full?

Um, I guess they didn't, but let's assume they are.

So this is not just like an empty balloon factory?

No, but that sounds very sad. Empty balloon factory.

We don't sell balloons here much anymore. All the balloon machines have gone all dark on us. Ever since all the clowns died, we haven't produced a single balloon.

We used to be everyone's favorite field trip, but there's not a balloon in sight. We're three old men who work at the old balloon factory, and yes, we're scary.

And we know, we've heard it before, the balloony bin. We are crazy for coming into work when this factory's been shut down for years. And I know what you're thinking.

Are all of you old men eating balloony sandwiches, which is two pieces of white bread and loose balloons? Of course we are.

That's how you make your balloony sandwich. Mine goes baloney, balloony, and then a piece of baloney right at the top.

We are perverts.

Does anyone have anything to block?

We gotta solve this riddle. I'm crying. I really had no idea today I'd say baloney, baloney, baloney. And that's not even gonna be the name of the episode. What are we doing? Baloney, baloney, baloney.

Can you say it one more time, Erin? Can you say the riddle?

Oh god, yeah, I'm so happy. Baloney, baloney, baloney. There's a room full of balloons. None of them pop, but when you enter, it's empty. How?

But when you enter, it's empty.

Oh, this riddle is brutal, by the way. It's a terrible answer.

There's a room full of balloons. None of them pop. But when you enter, it's empty. So I guess when you enter the room, it's empty? There's some wording that seems very confusing.

Are you entering into the room that has all the balloons?

Yes. Well, I'm going to give you the hints. Are you entering the same room as the one with the balloons?

Is this a normal room?

Yes.

And the balloons are real, yes. Has someone removed the balloons or have they otherwise left the room through the window or something? No.

And when I copied and pasted this email, I know the relationship between Zachary and Molly now. Do you want to know what it is?

Uh... Doctor Patient?

Nope. This riddle was made up by a girl I matched with on Tinder. So I'm pretty sure there's no way for you to have done it before. You don't know if Molly and I have matched on Tinder. Also, did you go on a date? Did you just take a riddle from her and then ghost her? Zachary, email us back.

No, no, no, no, Zach. If Molly initiated the conversation with this riddle, go ahead and delete your Tinder. Go to the wedding ring store. You found the love of your life. Go to the wedding ring store.

By the biggest one you could afford, toss it as hard as you can into space. If you are a doctor patient, don't forget that you do have Dr. Pepper confidentiality.

I like that. 23 secrets between you and your doctor.

You can have 23 secrets with you and your doctor. Dr. Pepper confidentiality. Is it like a nursery with balloons painted on the walls? Oh, that's really good.

That's a great guess, but I'm just going to give you the answer, which is terrible. You've entered the room before there were any balloons in it. What? No. No. Stop rolling credits.

Stop rolling credits.

Sorry, the credits were rolling, Adal.

No. No. We're shutting down production. That's it.

Okay, what if I say it again? Ready?

Okay, yeah, try it again. Okay.

All right. You've entered the room before there were any balloons in it.

No. We don't like no. No, unplug it. We're not even taking this riddle to riddle court. We're going to take this to the riddle chair.

No. I don't believe in that. You've entered the room before there are any balloons in it. Have a good night everyone. Anything to prove?

Ugh. Finding sound for the riddle chair.

No! Casey, do not find sound for the riddle chair.

I have some stuff to plug. Sure, please. I was on a few podcasts recently. Ever heard of them? Podcasts? Sure, yeah. I was on the Bloke Busters podcast talking about the Star Wars special, which is a real travesty of a Christmas special.

The Star Wars Holiday Special?

Yes. Oh, so we talk about that on the Blockbusters podcast. I was also on CinemaSwap talking about In Bruges, and I was on American Timeline Podcast talking about, I believe it was the year 1951 or 1952. So please check out all those podcasts. I also want to thank, a fan sent me some autocrat, which was in our Patreon episode, we talked about Rhode Island was known for coffee milk. And one of our listeners in Rhode Island sent me a bottle of autocrat, which is what you add to milk to make coffee milk. It looks like it's like motor oil, but I will say as much as we made fun of coffee milk in Rhode Island, it's actually very tasty.

Family Feud, you know, top answers on the board, surveyed 100 people, and you have to tell me the name of the thing that you add to coffee to get coffee milk. Autocrat? Not even gonna be number 50 on that fucking list. JBC, speaking of, do you have anything, top three things to plug? Yeah, you can plug my Twitch stream, which is twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman. I play games most weekdays, so come over there, throw me a follow, throw me a sub, and stick around for a little while too, because if I get my follower numbers up just a little more, a little more, I'm shooting for that Twitch partner status. The other thing is, very exciting news, is we're going to do another livestream show. We probably mentioned it at the beginning of this episode, but we're doing another livestream show March 5th in Chicago, broadcasted to all over the world. You can literally watch it from anywhere on human earth. Wait a minute, wait a minute. What about in Denmark? I can't comment on that actually because of some legal stuff that I've got going on.

What country don't you have that?

Now, I'm actually going to need the lawyer from earlier to reach out to me because I hope you're good at Denmark law because I can't make out. Anyway, it's at 8 o'clock, March 5th, Friday night, 8 p.m. Central Chicago time. You can get tickets at headyarm.com slash live. I believe they're 12 bucks or 15 if you want to donate to the theater where we're doing it, which is Lincoln Hall in Chicago, which is a really cool space, which has been fucking whaling by a global pandemic. But now we can do lives. A stream shows for the entire world. So that's a fun silver lining there. So please come and hang out for that. We've done two there already. One last year and one this year.

And they have been absolute bright shining spots of our last year.

And they give me something to look forward to. I have the best time doing them. And then also I'm moving by May, June of this year. So it's just really nice to be able to see you guys in person a couple more times before I go.

Erin, anything that you have to plug?

Yes, beyond watching that live show, I would like to plug a podcast I was on recently called the Sincerely Us podcast. It's run by Becca and Eni, and they are really smart and really funny, and I love hearing them talk about theater. It's a great podcast to check out, even if you don't want to listen to my episode. We talked about Six, the musical, because they heard about it from us. And I didn't let them get a word in edgewise. I was so excited to talk about theater. I talked the entire time and was a nightmare. But they are so lovely, and you should Go check out the Sincerely Us podcast.

I love someone listening to our show and is like, oh, that podcast does sound interesting. But I don't want to hear Erin's episode.

Yeah, no way. Honestly, I mean, they are really great on it. But I was like, OK, here are all the things that I think and every that I've ever had. All the thoughts in order. Here we go.

I saw someone on Twitter tagged us. There's somebody posted a tweet, maybe like a minor celebrity or something. But it said, like, what are some podcasts worth checking out? Like, I want some new podcasts that are worth checking out. And someone listed three podcasts and one of them was us. And somebody commented on their tweet and said, I've listened to two of these three, but I've never heard of Hey Riddle Riddle. Worth checking out? And I cried laughing because I'm like, the whole, that tweet was in reply to what podcasts are worth checking out. Like, what are we, what are we fucking doing anymore? What are we doing? What are we? As a nation, as a humanity, as Twitter users, what are we doing? What are some foods I should check out? Scallops. Never had scallops. Are they worth checking out? See above tweet. Adal, here's a glass of water. See above tweet.

It's Jerry Seinfeld from 2021.

See above tweet. A fan tries to be so sweet and tag us in like one of those podcast recommendation like, you should check out Hey Riddle Riddle. And the person that asked for recommendations and they're like, I have, not for me. Couldn't get through the first three minutes. Like, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, not only are they are they right, but they're insensitive.

Speaking of insensitive, I was going to say just direct them to the first three minutes of episode 135 when we sing the We Are Perverts song that will really win them back over.

And we tried to get a remix of We Are Perverts obviously we tried to get Pharrell and the Neptunes to remix it but we could not afford the Neptunes so what we got instead is we got Pharrell and the

Jupiters!

Bye forever!

Hey Sounds and Clouds. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. Adal leads us in a debate-only episode. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at Patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle for joining the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8. See you there!

That was a hate gun podcast.