Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Great. And if I could just get a few seconds of room tone from everybody. Wow, this is nice.

Oh, it's relaxing.

Just the tranquility of the room. I wish somebody would tell me to get some room tone just every few hours.

You know, it takes room tone. That's like the same as meditating. It's like, you know what? Why don't you grab some room tone real quick? Unclench your jaw. In your heart.

Straighten your back, drink some water, close your eyes, and then get room tone.

Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cat in an airplane. He stabbed him with the knife in the grave. Now the horse is being prided!

All right. Close your eyes. Deep breath. Hmm. Take in the sounds of the room. Check in with your internal sounds. Okay.

Okay. I have a question.

Uh, yes. JPC.

So I'm checking with my internal sounds and it's like a gurgling.

Oh, like the inside of a water fountain.

I don't know if it's a gurgle. It's like a trickle. It's like a trickle of a gurgle.

Is it a trickle or gurgle? Because those are two wildly different sounds.

It's like a gurgle that's trickling. So a gurgle is the sound and a trickle is the action.

Okay. That's what's inside. And you are leaving a trail of blood behind you.

That's so I can find my way home.

Perfect. Erin, let's check in with you. How are you doing? Are you peaceful? Are you centered?

I have an internal sound too, but it's just Phil Collins, the song that he wrote for that kids movie.

Oh, in the air tonight?

No.

It's about when Tarzan is on one vine and he lets go to catch another. For a brief moment, he's flying and he's in the air.

No.

And he watched a gorilla die and he could have saved him.

It's, um, no, not Tarzan. What's the other one? Tell everybody I'm on my way. New friends and new people to see. That's in my head. Is that normal?

It made the gurgle go away. If that helps. My inner voice is telling me I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

What movie is that from? I just realized I thought I'd seen most Disney movies and then I saw that there's one that's like, what is it, Road to El Dorado? Is that one? Yeah, that's one. Has anybody seen that?

I saw it when it came out, yeah, but that was a long time ago. What is that one about? Well, I don't know what that one was about, but I know two gentlemen that might just know what that one was about because we have some guests.

Please welcome to the show from Big Grande improv, Ryan Rosenberg and John Mackey. Hello.

Hello everybody. So Ryan, John, you've been on the show before. We have to check in with you. Do you know what the movie Road to El Dorado was about?

I think it's got to be about gold, right? Isn't El Dorado something about gold? I think it's the city of gold.

I think it's people, it's like these two, I guess you'd call them conquistadors, looking for El Dorado. Thanks, Jon Mackey, Titan of Energy. I remember, I only remember like images from it. I don't think I ever watched the whole movie. I think I just like saw the trailer and then just never went and watched it. But I don't, yeah, I wish I could help more.

It almost seems like one of those movies that never actually came out, but somehow we all have a memory of it, you know?

It's like an embarrassing boys. Yes, it's a Mandela Effect situation where the Sinbad genie movie, I think that there's one, but doesn't exist, but everybody thinks it exists.

Yeah, but that's not a real movie. Would you guys, would everyone in this room be into doing a Zoom Where I play Road to Perdition and Road to El Dorado. We hit play at the same time and we just see what happens. And maybe there's like a Pink Floyd, Wizard of Oz situation. You never know.

Hey Adal, I would not be into that, but I know a pillow wearing my clothes that would very much like to be there.

It will even smell like him.

So it's like a real pussy. Jay Pillosi.

I feel like we all collectively made up the movie Atlantis. Like that came out, and then I don't think anyone thought, but it exists, maybe?

I don't even have an image in my head for that movie. Yeah, I can't think of what this is. Do you have any details?

It's like an animated movie, it's like a Disney movie. Oh! Yeah.

It's like the lost city of Atlantis, right, underground city?

Okay, I'm not totally crazy.

Wait, Dorado is also a lost city, so is he just a lost city for being lost from our consciousness?

Disney went through a big lost city phase. Shangri-la-la-la, whatever. Ryan and Jon from Big Grande, they've been on the show before, maybe we can't decide when, it was maybe two years ago. Ryan, we just did Man Down Dog Pod and after the show, I have to check in with you, because after the show I jokingly delivered you a pizza from Chicago to LA.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

It's known for wet crust. Wet crust pizza is LA style. Soggy. When we were getting off the Zoom call, Ryan was like, I wish someone would send me a pizza. And I was like, this will be a funny bit. So I ordered you an extra large tater tot pizza from the place that seemed closest to your residence. Right.

Which I had never heard of, by the way.

I'd never heard of this.

Great argument, great sign.

You know it's good. And when I texted you, When I texted you to answer your door because there was food coming, the only reply I got back was a picture of the pizza and then the description dense and rich. So Ryan can you give us a full review of that tater tot pizza?

Well I will say this, I think it had cheese on it. But it may, it may, literally I don't know the answer to this. It may have been mashed potatoes. Because the cheese, it was like no cheese I had ever had. The tater tots were nice. They were crispy. I ate them off of the top of the pizza, but I didn't eat them like with the pizza.

So it sounds like a school lunch, like the school lunch cafeterias had leftover food that they're not using during the pandemic and they just sold that to a pizza place.

What pizza place was it from? It was called Thanks Pizza. Like Thanks Pizza. And I actually liked their branding. Their box had a guy on it who was like, yeah, it was kind of sweet. And they served a little special sauce with it, like a little thing of red sauce, which I was like, I wonder what this red stuff is.

Tomato sauce? No.

Ketchup? It was like a half spicy, half sweet thing. And I was like, this doesn't go with the pizza, so I tossed it. But it was a funny pizza place for sure.

Thanks for picking us. We are about to go out of business. Thank you so much. We make potato pizza. We don't know what we're doing.

I also have to tell you the full truth. I had already ordered pizza that day and I had gotten a pizza like a little bit before you told me that it was happening and I was like, well, it seems like it's already underway. I can't stop So I had three pizzas in my fridge. I mean two pizzas.

Well, whenever you have time, just Venmo me $37. Well, let's get into the show. You two know the deal. We're going to do some riddies and puzzies. We'll try and solve them. And along the way, we can call for improvised scenes whenever we like. I believe Erin is going to be our old man, puzzies. Erin, whenever you're ready.

Awesome. I'm going to do some listener submitted riddles because those are always the best. So all of our warm up riddles, or all of our riddles, depending on how quickly we move through these, are from Jack F. And he wrote all of these riddles and he said, just quick disclaimer, I did not run these by anyone.

Can I say something real quick that I just found out like two weeks ago and I'm so fucking dumb. I never realized, and maybe this is bullshit, and we'll see by your guys' reaction, I never realized Jack was a nickname for John? Is that a thing?

Yeah.

I never realized that. I thought Jack was its own name, and then I read or heard something where someone's like, Jack is a, when you're John, you can go, when you're Jonathan, you can go by John or Jack, which I never heard of, never realized.

You didn't wear it? So this whole time, John F. Kennedy, when people were calling him Jackie Onassis, what did you think was going on?

Wait a minute.

Wait, no. Adal's a fucking dumbass, right? Like, what do you think? Magic bullet.

Anyways, okay, so these are the format for all of these riddles. The rules are this. The riddle structure is, I am blank and blank. And the blanks are both filled with one word that can be related to the answer, which is a homonym. For example, I am blushing and written is red, red, R-E-D slash R-E-A-D because when someone is blushing, their cheeks are red. And when something that is written has also been red. It's like the same word. It makes sense. I think we just get into that. Yeah, you'll get these in like, no problem at all.

Be so cool. My prediction is these will be very difficult for me. That's what I would like to check. And Jon, have you ever gone by Jack?

Me? Wait, which, oh wait, which do Jon's at? You have to clarify. Jon Mackey, Jon Mackey.

I absolutely not have never gone by Jack.

I think Jack Mackey would be, that would not be a great name.

Jack Mackey sounds like a piece of shit. He sounds like a real piece of shit.

Welcome back to Jack Mackey and the Losers.

You have a daughter though, Jacky Mackey for sure.

Sounds like a guy at a party who claims to know Steve McQueen.

Yeah, I truly, if I want to hear a radio show someday hosted by a man named Jack Mackey, and it's called Jack Mackey and the Losers.

I mean, that could be you.

That could be the new Big Grande show. The guy who is his sort of partner who just fucking takes it.

Yeah, for sure, Jack. I'll be the loser. We have to see it now. So we're just going to see a brief scene. John, you're going to play Jack Mackey. Ryan and Erin, you are going to be the losers and we're just going to see the initial episode of Jack Mackey and the losers. I feel like this is my idea and I have to play the losers.

What's up out there radio waves? It's me, Jack Mackey, sitting here with these two pieces of shit. The losers! What's going on losers?

That's right. Yeah, we're the worst.

Oh god, I just stuck in crap. Of course you did. Of course we're gonna start the show out today like we always do. Reading! user submitted burns that's right this burns coming from Sarah M from Lancaster and this is for loser number two I don't know which one that is because you're both not number one can I just say before you start I hope they're not too harsh this time well I don't want to cry in my car again after this Sounds like a thing you have complete control over losers. So here we go. Sarah's Burn. This one for loser number two says, Flush Sound. That was it. Flush down. That's right. That's all I was.

Oh man, I got flushed out of toilet. Oh man, I have an email here. This is from anonymous and definitely not me. Hey, this is really hard to listen to because everyone's feelings are being heard. Maybe reconsider.

Not reading your phone or a computer right now looks like you're just sort of saying that from memory loser.

Yeah, maybe we change the name of the show wherever it takes turns being the losers. I don't know, just something to think about.

Sorry, we're already the number one result on Google when you search Jack Mackey. So we're not going to change the name now because that would ruin all of our, what is it, PR? I don't know, what the fuck. That email goes to the toilet.

Guys, I think I think you found a hit. It's really funny. Serious XM, are you listening?

All right, are we ready?

Yes.

I am cow and conversation.

I am cow in conversation. So, uh, swine? So, is swine?

That's pig, my friend.

Well, you know how John's gonna be called Jack? Cow's gonna be swine. Cow's gonna be swine? I am cow in conversation. A meat meat?

Uh-huh, you got it! Nice one. Okay, John, you get a hundred points.

Nice. You got to stand that Jack Mackey mentality.

Whoever wins, I will send you a potato pizza at the end of the morning.

I don't want to win.

You know what, I'll say this. Send some potatoes and send some pizza, but together they don't work that good.

Well, you didn't try the sauce, so I think that would have tied it all together. I'm getting Ryan a pizza from thanks potatoes.

I am capitalism and leaving.

Bye bye.

I'm still stuck on bovine. I'm trying to think of another hominin for bovine. We got the answer.

The answer's already good. Bovine and cosine.

I would like to see a scene.

Kansas City Royal and Raiders running back acting like Tarzan.

Okay, the four of you are all Backstreet Boys. And let's say, Ryan, you were the Backstreet Boy trying to convince everyone to add one more bye to the song, Bye Bye Bye.

Guys, I'm telling you, we're ripping off in sync. It's already perfect.

Yes, that's why we need to add one more bye. Because if we add one more bye, it's technically a different song.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Wait, did NSYNC do that song?

Yeah.

Okay, did this new scene be NSYNC? No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. We will roll with this. You guys, come on. My name is AJ McLean and I'm the crazy one. Just listen to what I say.

Wait, yeah? AJ, you're the crazy one?

I thought so. Right, Brian?

Oh, yeah. Okay, good. Yes, I'm Brian. Let's all go around and say our name and what we are just to remind ourselves. Good.

But before we start, let's just remind ourselves who we're not. I'm definitely not Chris Kirkpatrick, a member of NSYNC.

Yes. Also, none of us are Lance Bass. Another member of NSYNC. None of us are Justin Timberlake, obviously. Obviously.

Yeah.

None of us are... Joey Fatone? That's right. None of us are Joey Fatone. Yes. None of us are Joey Fatone. There's one more. There's one more.

There's one more.

We're not doing another one. JC Chavez? JC Chavez.

We're none of those people. So now let's talk about who you are. You know what?

I said fuck those guys. I want to take their song and I want to add a word to it. My name is Adrian McLean and I have the Tiny Go T.

My name, and I'm on my phone for a different reason. My name is, I want to say, Howie DeRue, DeRoe, and I have to be the sweet one.

You are the sweet one, I think. And I am... I'm looking across at Nick Carter, and I'm saying, sweet McDonald's haircut.

Yeah, I'm of course Nick Carter. I hate my brother.

Are my ears burning? Hey guys, can I be in the band? It's me, Erin.

Erin, get out of here. Get out. Oh by the way, Erin, we know you didn't beat Shaq.

I did. I did.

You wrote that whole song how I beat Shaq and you didn't.

And I threw the party of the year too. That's all real. A kid spilled juice on my mom's new cushion. It all happened. Nick, tell him.

Erin, believe me, I am Brian Latrell and I'm very surprised that this is what I look like. Get out of here. I have almost no memory of me.

But I'm sure I'm going to have a great, very easy life after this interaction.

Oh yeah, if I have anything to say about it, you are not.

Whatever.

Wait, wait, wait. Repeat what you just said.

Everybody! Rock your body!

What if we do that and what if we're like universal monsters? Oh, that seems expensive.

I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I thought that that was Backstreet Boys. What happened to me?

Hey, we got your back. We totally got your back by naming all members of both groups.

They used to be so cool. What happened?

Can I tell you guys a funny anecdote? When I was working on Lights Out, the Comedy Central show with David Spade, we did a tie-in bit with Chili's. Name drop. And we cast Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC to be in the bit, and he was one of the nicest guys. Wow. Cool.

I'm so sorry, Jon.

You said that's a funny anecdote? Uh, yeah, because we had him- It's not over yet. It's not over yet. Yes, because we had him sing the Chili's James song that they did by himself. On a stage with- Is that like Baby Beck Rids? With four of the microphones, yeah. And he just did it by himself and made up choreography, uh, impromptu. And it was- Honestly, it was funny. I don't know if the bit's online anywhere, though. Jon, here's my- I should've told this story. Hey Riddle Riddle.

That's like Hey Riddle Riddle.

Oh, I have a new dream job. I want to be in a teen group and just meet a bunch of 17-year-old girls. And I'm just too tired all the time to do the choreography.

John, I have a theory that I may have voiced on this show before, but I'll get to it quickly. And it's something I've done constantly. My theory is that any time someone meets a celebrity, they either say that it's always like the bookends of extremism They either say like they could not have been more a piece of shit or they could not have been nicer. Like it's any celebrity story. I've never heard somebody be like, I ran into John Lithgow. Like it's always like he's the nicest guy. He could not have been nicer. The greatest person I've ever met. Or it's always like what a piece of shit. What a complete monster. And it's like, what did he do? He didn't high five me or so, you know. I just feel like it's that extreme swing.

I think it's because we all have an expectation and either your expectation is completely met or it's completely reversed. So many people think, oh, celebrities, they all suck. But then you meet them and they're not bad. And you're like, oh, then they're the best person. Or they have the opposite where you think this person, oh, they seem so nice. And then you meet them and they're not. What the fuck? Like, you suck actually.

Will Ferrell passed me on the freeway the other day? Not funny, bro.

I think on that spectrum of like nicest person or like total asshole there's like a celebrity in the middle like that Steve Buscemi who is like constantly like opening doors for people and they just walk right past him and people are like have you ever met a celebrity and be like no I've never met a celebrity.

Can you imagine seeing Steve Buscemi in public and not recognizing Steve Buscemi though?

I read an article. It was like a New Yorker profile in him like years ago and the guy started the article with like Steve Buscemi and I were supposed to meet in this cafe. I was there for a fucking hour. I'm like Steve Buscemi set me up and then I go to leave and I'm like, oh shit, you're Steve Buscemi. You've also been waiting here for an hour. I'm so sorry. You're so innocuous.

Also, his voice is so distinct. So if I heard him order a coffee, he'd be like, oh, here he is. What am I going to say?

Anywhere in the room.

I have no idea what I'd say. Hello? I'd probably.

I'd be like, sorry Steve, you should be. I do not work here. I would love to get you a coffee. I just, I don't. I just, I don't.

You look really interesting. All right. Next Riddle. I am self and seen. Which sounds like a solo album from one of the Backstreet Boys when they tried to create their own.

I.I. Nice one. Well done. I want to see a scene.

Ryan, you are going to be a pirate captain Based off the I.I. you're gonna be a pirate captain and you are very kind of existential and philosophical all about the self and GPC, Erin, and John you are his first, second, and third mates.

Oi, oi, oi. Listen to this. When I say I.I. it means yes, right? But it also means me. I am talking to myself.

Did you get high again?

A little bit, maybe. Also, boss, come off the back of the boat. You've just been staring out over the waves for the last six hours. Look how far you can see. You know, I don't think this world is flat. Okay, boss. Boss, I don't know, boss. I feel like we, you know, if it was flat we could see all the way to the other side of the world, but we can't because it's, it's, it curves down. Whoa, look at them clouds.

Oh, what you see there for me? I see myself, eh? Weird, right?

Weird. I don't know if it's necessarily weird, boss. I mean, icy clouds, you know. I feel it's more about your state than about the state of the cloud, if that makes sense.

Yeah, it's like you're projecting, you know. It's like an object that don't look like nothing can look like anything. Aye aye.

For example, I'm projecting because those clouds look like all the men I killed. I see near them everywhere. I can't do this accent.

Again, again. It's like a projection of... Your psychosis. Crew, continue looking out across the waves. That's fine. You have a lot to look at. Crew, can we talk for a second? Does anyone think it's a bit odd that we have a college freshman captaining our pirate ship? I mean, his resume is stellar. I love it.

To be or not to be.

That is the question.

Because you've got to think about it like this. I mean, any of us are all qualified to do it. I mean, I ain't been a day past grammar school.

Right. Certainly not me. I can't even write. I've got two peg legs, two peg hands.

Right. Oi, let me ask you this. When you look in the mirror, who are you looking at? You or yourself? We should kill him.

This episode will be called the high seas.

When I was doing that accent I realized I wasn't breathing. I think I'm going to pass out if I pretend to be a pirate.

I have all the expelling air.

What an embarrassing way to faint, too, just mid-podcast. Because you're pretending to be a pirate too hard. All right. I am fragile and 52.

How did Erin die? She forgot to breathe. I am fragile and 52? Something about cards? What's a word? Card card.

Yeah, you got it. Good job, JDC.

Fragile and 52. Like a state. State?

Yeah, there are 52 states, Jon. That's a really good point about states.

Oh, I'm smart. Jon, give it up. Washington DC and Puerto Rico will never be states, as long as this podcast is on the air.

No, dude. They're coming through. This administration, dude. I'm feeling it, man.

What was it? 52? Fragile and 52.

I am fragile and 52.

And Erin, can I ask, is 52 meant to be taken as like an age, or is 52 in relation to, like we said, like a deck of cards or states or something?

Yeah, it's in relation to something. It's not an age. I'm not just talking about a week 52 year old person.

I was like, isn't this like a Molly Shannon character from like SNL? Weeks! 52!

Week!

You got it! Week!

Jon is killing it this.

No but Erin you said week and it you said I'm not talking about a week 52 year old person and I I'm a dummy.

No only if it was Balderdash.

Yeah I'm I cheated is actually I took a I took a accidental clue.

I'm an optimist and I think that both Erin and Jon got it right. I think that you both guessed the answer to the riddle.

We did it!

And I'm an optometrist and go ahead and look ahead and tell me the letters you see.

W-E-E-K.

Oh, that should be an E at the end. Go ahead and read it again.

W-E-E-D.

Nice.

Yeah, brother.

Um, so those were the easy ones. Um, and now these are the medium ones. Are we ready?

Okay. Yes. Okay. Jack Mackey fucking crushing the gate. Yeah. I think I got all of them. Yeah.

Where you at?

I love you all.

I am looking and climbing.

Looking and climbing. Um, eyes rise. No. No, it's not words that rhyme stupid. I'm looking and climbing and kissing and hugging.

No one knows the words to that fucking song.

Why would you?

Every time someone sings it they add a different verb.

Thanks for watching!

This is a little misleading because climbing is like, where do you climb to, is the word. Pick, pick. Yup, pick, pick. I would like to see a scene. Adal and Jon, you are two friends and you watch the movie Free Solo and you're trying, you've never tried it before, but you're trying to climb up a mountain without any gear.

Sorry, I just need to take a breather.

Ted, how you doing? Let's take as much time as we need, man. I mean, let's be honest. This is the most dangerous hobby a person can have.

I think next to lobster fishermen, this is the most dangerous job.

Or indoor gun shooting. Wait, what?

Hey Riddle.

Yeah, it was just the first thing that popped into my head about a dangerous job. Listen, I'm a little bit scared, man, but I feel like we can do this.

Yeah, yeah. And I liked it. Even though the movie was going solo, I'm glad that we partnered up because it's nice to have, you know, we're new to this.

Yeah, and we're solo separate. If you fall, I'm gonna be honest with you.

Yeah.

If you fall, I cannot and will not do anything. Because I put myself in danger. And both our goals is to get home to our loving families after this. So we can't brag. My stupid brother can't do shit. He hasn't done anything with his life. And up until this point, I have not either. But after today, I will be one of two people who have climbed what most people have called this unclimbable mountain. Oh my god!

That guy driving by screamed at us.

Asshole. He screamed no words.

And then at the end went, I want to follow that guy for just a day. It's like one of those body switch movies where a dog got switched in a van. Driving through the street screaming.

That absolutely would be how it happened, right? If a dog switched with a human body and all of a sudden had consciousness.

Have they done that? They've done that movie before, right? It's kind of a funny idea. Oh yeah. The Shaggy Dog or something? The Shaggy Dog.

The Shaggy Dog. Tim Allen was in it. Well, didn't Tim Allen switch into a dog's body? And did the dog have the human body?

I don't. I never thought I'd do that. Maybe the human body just went dormant for a while.

Are we Mandela affecting this Tim Allen movie as well?

I think we are.

There is a movie called The Santa Paws where Tim Allen turns into a dog and then that dog gets big and turns into Santa.

Hang on.

That's a joke. You're kidding.

You're joking. He's joking. Are you? Are you kidding? You're joking.

Because I do want to hear the inner monologue of the dog when he comes into the person's body, you know, when he freaks you. Like, what is the dog thinking? Like, whoa, two legs.

I think you just moan and scream and like...

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Ryan, you are auditioning for that play, and in lieu of preparing a monologue that you've memorized, you've just decided to act as if what it might be like if a dog were to zap into a human... I'm sorry, a person zaps into a dog's body.

Hey, it's Ryan, correct? Yes, it is. Okay, perfect. And what do you have to show us today?

Well, it's a bit of a performative piece. It's just called A Dog's Life.

Okay, is it an author or by someone?

Well, it's a self-written piece, but the story idea is that I would be a human who did a body swap with a German Shepherd, and I will be playing not the human, but the dog.

Okay. And then, no, that's fine. And other people have been doing their own work as well. We did ask for this to be a dramatic. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Yeah. Perfect. And I guess whenever you're ready.

Okay.

Ooh man, I think I have fleas. I think I have fleas. Oh god, I'm itching like crazy. Ooh, who's that hot babe? Ooh, another hot babe dog. Ooh, a hot babe dog. Oh my god, another hot babe dog. These fleas are driving me crazy.

Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt. I'm supposed to go next, but I have the same monologue as him, and I'm feeling a little embarrassed. Can I just have a little bit more time to prepare?

No, you know what? I actually love that instinct. Why don't you pop up there with Ryan and we'll do it as more of a dialogue. We'll do it as more of a dialogue piece. This is working. And by the way, We do have to, I did ask everyone to prepare a dramatic and a comedic. I don't even think I'm going to need the comedic. The dramatic is working for me that well. So please play up that drama whenever you're ready.

And you want me to also be the dog or be a different person in the scene that he's talking to.

Hey, I'm not the director until we cast the play. Let's just use each other.

You know what I mean? Let's just use each other.

Okay. Oh, I have a good idea.

I have a good idea. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. Wait, I'm a human in a dog body! Wait, me too! Oh shit, you're supposed to be the dog in the human body.

This is good, this is great. Figure it out. These fleas are driving you crazy!

Aw, I keep seeing hot human babes, but they won't date me because I'm a dog now.

Honest to God, I think I might try to have sex with my first human.

Honestly, God, I might try to have sex with my second dog.

Wait a second. I'm just walking by. I'm so sorry. I'm not here for the audition. I just have a sign outside the door. I'm just walking by. Could we have the dog turn in the Santa Claus?

Oh, yeah, I love that direction and absolutely.

Let's just take direction from anybody.

Well, I know not when the play is cast, but I'm not the director until the play is cast.

That sounds really pretentious.

Thank you.

You ready? I can do this again.

Let's go.

Okay. Wow. I'll tell you what. I'm a lot taller now.

I'll tell you what, I love getting to sleep all day and pee outside.

Hey, that's got to be nice. I really feel like I can empathize with you.

Wait a minute. What's this long beard I'm growing? And all of a sudden I want to eat cookie. I'm sorry. I just feel like the more I'm doing this, I feel like it's not a great audition for Les Mis.

No, no, no. You both did an amazing job. I dreamed a dream. I don't know the right. I don't even need to hear the song. I want you both in Les Mis. I want you both. Hi, excuse me. Sorry.

I'm so so so sorry. I just noticed actually on the little plaque outside the wall that you have this room until 330 and I noticed that it just turned 330. I actually have it from 330 to 430. I'm a scientist and I'm turning this into a laboratory where I'm gonna try to swap my essence with my dog here.

Are you serious? Are you serious? Can we watch? Could you play Javert? You have the bone structure of a Javert. Could you play Javert? I didn't hear any of the rest of the things you said.

I mean, I have to say, I love Les Mis and I feel like I could play any part in the film.

Are you doing film? Are you taking commissions for science work? Because if you can do all this in just an hour in a theater, I am so interested in your work.

Commissions for science work, so like I'm an artist doing science? I don't know. I mean, if you wanted to give me some money to watch me.

Do you have an Etsy shop for your science?

I actually have an OnlyFans. You can subscribe and I do live streams of my experiments and sometimes they get a little bit racy. So yeah, it's pretty cool stuff. I'm open.

Okay, I feel like I love this energy. I love the scientists. I love the dog switching. But this is the end of the day.

The scientist is here to kick us out of the room by the way.

I'm so sorry. I'm Chris Martin and I'm walking by. I was climbing up to the rooftop because I was so sad but I heard someone say they like the scientist. That's the hit song off my album, A Rush of Blood to the Head. Chris, you could have walked right by. You know, simple teamwork. Love that shit, man. Love that shit. Yeah, I love the idea of commissioning a theorem.

Speaking of commissioning a theorem, we have to go commission some theorems from some of our advertisers. So we will be right back after this commercial break.

Hey Adal, I know that you're busy making me cupcakes right now, but I was wondering if you had any podcast about business you could recommend to me? Because I'm thinking about starting a cupcake business using definitely my own cupcakes that I'm making.

Oh, fun, fun, fun. Yeah, let me put down these gluten-free cupcakes, which are a beast to make, let me just say. And let me tell you about something you might be interested in, Erin. There's no shortage of hard work when it comes to building the business of your dreams, which you mentioned is going to be fupcakes or whatever your dumb name you give yourself. You're going to want to join Sarah Funk, a tour company owner, travel host, and YouTube creator for School of Hustle, a podcast by GoDaddy for everyday entrepreneurs or every other day entrepreneurs like yourself, Erin. This podcast talks about the successes, failures, and the hustle behind their businesses. You're going to want to listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Erin, where do you get your podcasts?

Um, Apple?

Hey Riddle. And I don't know if it's, I've mentioned this, but it's been called smart and passionate and it's filled with inspirational stories about building a business.

So we're going to steal Adal's ideas, his cupcakes, and we're going to start a business, but it's going to be very successful.

Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin, Erin. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. But seconds ago I said, pop up there and ask Adal how to get a groundhog out of a sink. Okay. Cause this groundhog is pissed off. It is in the sink. It is angry. And I, that's what I need right now. I would love to listen to School of Hustle, a podcast by GoDaddy for everyday entrepreneurs. I'd love to do that, but right now I got a live groundhog trapped in a sink pipe and it's all snaky.

I'm already walking away, I'm already listening. I found it wherever I found podcasts.

I don't know if I told you this, but I keep reliving the same day over and over, so I put a groundhog in my garbage disposal.

It's another mystery solved.

School of Hustle. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. A podcast by GoDaddy.

Hey guys, you know how we all sleep in a three person bunk bed? It's just like a bunk bed and it's three tiers and I'm the middle one.

We call it a triple bunk.

I'm having a hard time sleeping. Does anyone like and just like basically calming down and slowing down my brain. Does anyone have any recommendations for me? No.

Here I go.

No. Hold on. Both of you stay. You're all right here.

Okay. Stay. Let me put this treat on your nose, JPC. So you stay. Eat. And check out Headspace. Headspace, my friends and bunk buddies, is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy to use app.

Wait, wait, wait, headspace? Headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. And you know me, I'm always churning through that clinically validated research because I want to feel clinically validated.

Um, so you're telling me whatever the situation, Headspace really can help you feel better? And even when I'm overwhelmed, they have a three-minute SOS meditation for me? I'm always overwhelmed. I'm in the middle bunk between two guys all the time! It's crazy!

Well speaking of, if you need help falling asleep, like you're bunking with these two idiots, Headspace has wind down sessions their members swear by, not swear at, swear by. And for parents, hello Erin, Headspace even has morning meditations you can do with your kids or cats.

I would say my biggest complaint with being in a triple bunk with you guys is the night singing and the sleep singing.

Okay, well, the sleep singing is good for me. It actually helps me. But wait, Adal, are you telling me that Headspace's approach to mindfulness can reduce stress, improve sleep, boost focus, and increase my overall sense of well-being? Is that what you're telling me? Mm-hmm.

He's also saying that Headspace is backed by 25 published studies on its benefits, 600,000 five-star reviews, and over 60 million downloads. Oh, I'm starting to feel relaxed already.

That's right, Headspace makes it easy for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you, on your schedule, anytime, anywhere. And I've used Headspace, me, Adal Rifai, and look at me, I'm calm as all get out. I should be yelling at you two, I should be screaming, shut up and go to bed. But I'm not, because I'm so mindful of Headspace.

And it's stressful sleeping under two people on a bunk. Like, you're a bottom bunk, and that must be, like, stressful. So the fact that you're so relaxed is... I dream that I'm gonna get crushed.

Wait, I'm top bunk? I have been doing this all wrong. Well, I've been doing it wrong, but you deserve to feel happier. Headspace is meditation made simple. Go to Headspace.com slash Riddle. That's Headspace.com slash Riddle for a free one month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. That almost rhymes. Meditations for every situation. I'm telling you, this is the best deal offered right now.

Headspace. I'm putting my headphones in. I'm listening.

Headspace.com slash riddle today.

Oh my god you guys shut up What's up germs and idiots it's me Jack Mackey here with the losers that's right these two pieces of shit are still here no matter how hard I ride them

You are the best man at my wedding. I just don't understand why you treat me like this.

Oh, because you love it. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what anybody says. They could say they hate it, but they love it. The numbers don't lie loser. That's right. We're going to go into the next segment that we always do on the show, and that is where I just look at you and say what I don't like.

We're going to start with you. Please don't say my nose again. Oh, but it's so there. You know what I mean?

Please don't say my everything again. Oh, but I can't narrow it down.

It's too hard.

You two suck. Do y'all remember that show? It wasn't even a game show. There was a show where judges would hold laser pointers and shine a laser light on someone's body. Like people would stand in bikinis and stuff. Was it the swan? Was it that plastic surgery show? That was like classic surgery, which was fucking bonkers. Thank you for reminding me of that. This was maybe like hot or not or something. So like someone would stand on stage and I feel like it was like Lorenzo Lamas or someone if that's a human and they would like shine a laser pointer and be like chest great, stomach needs tightening, your face is asymmetrical and it was just like they would verbally tear someone apart, someone's physicality apart. I do remember this now.

Sounds like my cup of tea. That sounds amazing.

And it was like, I believe, a hit show. And it just feels wild. Living in 2020, it seems wild that that ever existed.

Have you guys seen the British show Naked Attraction?

I just was about to mention that. Is that one that you see a little bits of their body at a time?

It's basically, yeah, six naked people in boxes and a little shade raises up a little bit each round to show their feet and then their genitalia... genitalia? What does that mean? Genetagliatelle.

It's pasta.

But then a person basically picks a person to go on a date with based on their naked body and it ends which is almost the most demoralizing moment of an episode is the last one where they hear their voice for the first time. So it's like somebody could see my beautiful, well not my beautiful naked body, but be attracted enough to my naked body to want to go on a date with me and then I say hello and they say actually no. That almost feels worse than someone being like I don't like his penis.

The whole time I was watching that I just kept thinking about how hard it would be to stand still if you're one of the naked people like it's on the crotch part and you just have to be like

And apparently it's like an eight hour day. I've heard on that show it's like eight hours of them standing naked in a box.

I would love to be on that show, not as one of the naked people, but other people picking a naked person as a person with a foot fetish to just be like, they just pull it up and literally be like, I'm all good. I like them all. Let's just chill here. Don't raise it anymore. It ruins it for me.

Can we make all the rounds just feet?

Can they make mashed potatoes with their feet? Would that be possible?

No, they're completely naked. They're no underwear, no bra, nothing.

Except for the host and the contestant, right? And at the end, the contestant has to be naked as well.

Yeah, they showed them their naked body. And then the person who they picked decides. I would 100% write grower on my tummy or something just to cover my vases.

Which round would I be most offended to get out on? There's no winning there. It would hurt my feeling. Every single one would hurt my feeling.

I think there's got to be voice because if it's me and it's my body and it gets all the way up I'm like somehow I made it. Like this is fucking great.

I can't believe I won.

Well because it's a thing that Everybody always says like like oh like being like hot people hot hot I need to be attracted like attractive people you know but then if the thing that gets you cut is like your voice or your personality it's almost worse to me yeah it's like you can handle me being what I am physically I think it's really funny that there's no real mystery of the show it just like gets to the last person and they always pick the hottest person

Thanks for watching! Based on looks. It's very wild.

So stupid. All right, back to Riddles. Oh, go ahead, Adal.

I want to see a scene. So, Erin, you're going to be part of a new dating show. JPC, Jon, and Ryan are the contestants. And this is where they stand behind a screen. It's all blurred. You can't make out any single shape. But each contestant will physically describe a part of their body that you request. All right, welcome back to the show. Lauren, whenever you're ready, go ahead and give a number of a contestant and then which part you'd like to hear about.

Hi, I'd like to hear from contestant number one. Contestant number one, what are your teeth look like? But not the front ones, but like the inner, like the wisdom teeth, like what do they look like?

Oh. Okay, well yeah, my wisdom teeth, I'll tell you this, out of the gate, I've only got three of them. Hey Riddle Riddle. Yeah, and this was about 10 years ago, and I still haven't gotten it fixed by a dentist.

That's right, Lauren. We're in the tickle round where we have an associate producer tickle the contestants while they talk about their bodies. Stop it, please, stop it, please, stop it.

Okay, well the top right, my top right back molar was cracked by incoming wisdom tooth and I have yet to fix it. So the back, my back teeth are pretty bad. The front, I often get compliments about how straight my teeth are from dentists and, you know, regular people.

I only like the back teeth and they, yours sounds sexy, sexy hot. Okay, Lauren. What?

Another, another contestant?

Contestant number two. What does your butt look like?

My butt? I guess I gotta say my butt looks like two pounds of pudding in two plastic bags.

Exactly. My type.

Awesome. Thank you. Oh, and sorry, contestant number two. Our associate producer is coming around to tickle you now. And you have one more round. Contestant number three.

What does the inside of your head look like?

Oh, that's a very interesting question. Real quick, I have not been able to get this off of my mind since you started talking. Melissa?

I don't know. I think Adal said something.

Is your name Melissa? The card says Lauren, but of course all of our contestants have fake names to protect their identities.

Yeah, I'm Melissa.

What's up? Yeah, this is your cousin Dave. We have different last names, so I don't know how this maybe passed the check.

Answer the question buddy, what's the inside of your head look like?

Well right now I'm thinking about what our kids would look like if I went through with... Dave, I'm so happy you're here.

And I can see you're being tickled and not being affected by it.

I'm not being affected by the tickle because I'm so stressed out about the fact that you're my cousin.

Don't worry Dave, you're still in the running.

Excuse me, associate producer, I would like to get off the show.

It's me, your cousin. You know that cousin you were looking to fuck? Well, listen to this.

JBC was going to pick you, so you had just kept the scene going.

Damn, dude, you missed out.

That was my shot. The girl who's really into wisdom teeth.

Your cousin that got away.

All right. I am tangled and incorrect.

Tangled and incorrect. Tangled, of course, another Disney movie. Rapunzel, Rapunzel. Wrong. Not, not.

Yeah.

Gosh, Jon. Damn.

I don't know what's happening. You are getting so close to that potato pizza.

I am not good at this stuff. I don't understand why I'm happening.

Yes you are. It's clear that you are underestimating yourself. You are good at this stuff.

If you were an NBA Jam, you'd have like flames on the net. I'm on fire. Also, I'm heating up.

Jon, if you win, I will pay for you to fix that molar.

Ah, no, I mean, I know everybody could tell that that was true. One hundred percent.

I'm going to make the call to the dentist for you.

You started crying during the scene. Yeah, no, it's I truly have. I haven't had dental insurance until very recently, so I now I can get it fixed. Good. Don't worry everybody out there, but if you'd like to send me some money, I mean absolutely. We're doing the GoFundMe for Jon's teeth. Please set up a GoFundMe for my teeth. Jon, do you often get compliments about the front of your teeth? Every dentist I've ever gone to has said, did you have braces as a kid? And I'm like, no. But then I'm like, shut the fuck up because my two middle bottom teeth overlap completely. It's absolute bullshit. They're just buttering me up to try to like... They go, well the front is really nice.

Let me talk about the front for a second. The front is really nice. The back! I wanna barf!

I wanna barf! All right. I am improv and visible.

Ugly, ugly.

Scene team. Yeah, you got it. Oh, there we go. I'm on the board. It's an all John sweep.

I am foot and religious.

Fetish Fetish? No. I'm foot and religion. Foot and religion.

Religious is not maybe the best hint for this. Foot definitely helps. I would say like spirituality.

Corn corn, but the R is backwards.

A hundred percent. I would also say maybe like It's something that you would sell to a bad guy.

Sell to a bad guy.

Maybe the worst. I'm making this harder. Oh wait there's a hint. I am a part of the foot and the self. Soul. Yeah you got it! I would like to see a scene. Adal and Ryan, Adal you are the devil and you're asking to buy Ryan's soul.

Don't be alarmed. My name is Mephistopheles. Old Scratch. Johnny B. Bad. You may have heard me by many names, but I'm here to offer you a deal.

What is it? I'm not going to sell you my soul if that's what it is. Fuck. Did someone tell you? Yeah, that's your famous thing. This is my spirit, okay? And I'm not going to part with it. Not today, Satan. I want to say ever since, I don't know, 1987 when I was in Georgia. Ever since an incident there, everyone seems to know what I'm up to. Did something happen in 87? You went down to Georgia, didn't you? Yeah, that's what I just said. Why'd you phrase it like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the devil went down to Georgia and he was looking for a soul to steal. It's a pretty famous song upstairs. Oh, oh. Wait, I went down to Georgia? It shouldn't be I went up to Georgia because I'm coming from beneath the earth. Hey, you tell us, man. I don't know. But you're not getting my soul. Ah, come on. Come on. What do you... Okay. What about this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can tell everyone you took my soul. Yes. And I'll just give you the soul of my shoe.

Why does everyone offer me that? I want to say ever since I want to say 91, everyone's offering me either diamonds or the soles of their shoes. Did something happen in 91? I don't remember.

I guess not. Then I guess not. Okay, here's what I want. What is your... Let's not even talk about... Thanks for taking no for an answer, by the way. I really wish. Oh, of course. I'm respectful. I'm the devil. I'm not disrespectful. Let's work something out.

So this is, you know, this is negotiations, right? You say, you know, I say a million dollars. You say a hundred million. We meet in the middle. What is your biggest... What do you want? You want to be famous? Can I be honest?

You want a good dick? Yeah. Hey Riddle. It's a big pants. For what? For what? Okay. That's not what I want. I don't want to fight, okay? We're just negotiating. What if I gave you a sweater? And again, I appreciate you for being so open. Of course. Not sweater expecting. A sweater and capris. Okay, now we're talking loose pants that don't go all the way to the bottom. Change that sweater to a tank top and then you win. I can't do it. I can't. Who can have the sole of my shoe? What if it was a sweater vest? Sweater vest and capris? Okay, what's the material? I'm wool. Give me 50-50 polyesterone. We're good. Okay. Okay. All right. And how about a fiddle made out of anything you want? Hey man, nobody wants your fiddle. Come on. No. Nobody wants your fiddle. There's nothing wrong with it. Here, I'll play it. See? That's not a fiddle sound. There's something definitely wrong with it. No, no. Here, look at it. I'll hold it back here. You don't pluck a fiddle. You string a fiddle.

Here, look. I'll show you all three sides. There's one side, there's one side, and there's the front.

Let me tell you this. Can I tell you something devil? I gotta be honest with you. You don't have a fiddle. You have a ukulele. Come on. Come on. What do you mean come on? You have ukulele? There's no come on. Why you gotta say it? Are you gonna write a song about it? Are you gonna write a song about me having a ukulele? I am famed songwriter Bob Dylan.

Alright Bob, alright Bob. You've got the studio. You've got the studio for another 20 minutes. You said there was one more track that you wanted to do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to do one sort of nod in the voice. You know what I mean?

Oh, oh please, yeah. Famously, people don't love your voice. I know. You just go crazy, please.

What kind of beat you want back here, Bob? Oh, something funky. Dirty South, for sure. Bob dealing with something funky. Hey, I'm doing this one not in the voice, man. All right, here we go. The devil took me down to his land. He had a ukulele in his hand. He said he'd give me some short pants. I said capris. He said no chance. Just kidding. He gave me short pants. Now the devil has my shoes. The devil has my shoes. The devil has my shoes. Walk a mile in my shoes, but you gotta get him from the devil.

We love it. Keep it going. Erin, this is Erin Carter. Erin Carter's going to come in here as well. This is a CoLab track. And again, this is for charity.

Of course.

Erin, whenever you're ready.

I didn't bring a fly while somebody did. A girl walked in. The one I'm crushing and the kids spilled juice on my mom's new cushion. I turned around, another one broke a lamp. I hope that wasn't expensive. He got that from France, but now I won't sweat.

We're going to need a brand new sock.

Oh shit.

No, no, no, no, no. That's the only one. I don't want to make another song.

I don't want to be hyperbolic.

I would pay $35 to hear Bob Dylan cover I Beat Check. That's what these out of work musicians should do. They should just cover stuff weird and sell it on their own website for a high dollar amount. You get a thousand people to get paid thirty dollars.

It's no less weird than the world's most famous Jewish musician putting out a Christmas album.

Thank you so much for loose pants that don't go all the way to the bottom. Definitely my favorite description of draperies I've ever heard. Want to do a couple more of these? Okay, I am justice and charging.

Just as in charging, law, law, law. Just as in charging.

Justice is blind.

Justice is money. Oh, so charging like a bull and there's a character named Bull in Night Court. Is that what they're going for?

Yeah, Adal.

It's bull.

You got it.

It's bull and bull, Adal.

Justice. The hint is I am also a type of boat without the final letter.

Hey Riddle.

This is a new low for Hey Riddle Riddle. Maybe if you're going to Martha's Vineyard with your family for the summer, you would take... Yeah, yeah. No, that's fancy. You're poor.

You're going to Martha's Vineyard. Okay.

You're going to an island and you're poor and it's a boat. Fairy, fairy.

Yeah. Fair, fair.

Oh, for fair. Fair, fair.

I am candy and apartment.

Candy and apartment. Uh, Candy Apartment. I live there. Jobbr- Jobbreaker Bankbreaker? Br- er... Jobbr- Rint, Rint.

Job- Jobbreaker Bankbreaker, Adal. Excellent.

I have to talk through it, I have to talk through it.

Apartment and Candy? I am Candy and Apartment.

Is this a specific brand of candy?

Flat Flat. Oh, it's a sweet sweet.

Yeah, it's a sweet sweet.

Flat Flat.

Sweet sweet.

It's a flat flat.

I wasn't even close on that one. I'm tanking now.

I wasn't even close to having an answer.

It's like you don't even want the pizza. A couple more?

Jon guessed nothing, which was not the answer. Not even close to the answer.

Weird. I am strong and clammy.

Erin, stop describing yourself and do more riddles.

I'm sorry. I have such clammy hands. That's true. My hands, anytime someone's about to touch my hand, or I think they're about to, my hands get so sweaty. But otherwise they're very soft.

No one will know. I am strong and clammy. Mollusk. Mollusk. Strong.

My hands just got so sweaty just talking about it. The human body's amazing.

So clammy is like wet, damp, cold, damp, strong, moist.

I'm clammy, but not sweaty or cold.

Clammy, but not sweaty, not cold. Is this like a clam? Yeah, like chowder?

Yeah, it's chowder, chowder. Um, no, like what's a, well, like a, what are they called? They're animals that are sort of fish and they're in shells.

Shrimp shrimp. Thanks for watching!

Crap. Scampi? Muscle muscle.

Scampi? Muscle muscle. Muscle. Muscle muscle. Of course.

So Clammy was in the sense of like, I see. Clam and muscle.

I like an actual clam.

Almost a clam. A little misleading. A clam-ish. I want to see a scene. JPC, you are welcoming your first ever guest. You are a strong man, like a former bodybuilder, who has opened up a gym slash seafood restaurant called Muscle Muscles. You've gone a while without anybody coming through that door, and you finally have your first guest. And let's have John be that first guest.

Hello, welcome, welcome. Uh, hey man, what's going on? Table for one? Uh, you gotta, you gotta bench or can I just do, can I just do bench and then you, uh, do you do bench side service? We can do bench, yeah. Leg there, arm there. Uh, well, I want to do bench, so I think it's chest day, really. Chest and arms. Uh, I'll have to talk to the chef. We only prepared for... ...leg... We can do chest. We can do chest. Yeah, I mean, that'd be great. I mean, I could do leg day. I... No, no, no. Bench. I crushed my legs yesterday, dude, is all I'm saying. So, I don't know if I could do another one, but, um... I'd love just to... Yeah, I'd love bench side, um... I'm so sorry to hear about your legs. Thank you.

They look awful. If I may ask, were you free solo climbing?

I did do legs only free solo yesterday. It's hard work. I got up about, uh, only like 35 feet, but a fall from 35 feet is still a pretty intense fall. That will crush your legs, yes. Yeah, and so I'm working with, um, you know, compressed, uh, joints and a ripped ACL. Would you like me to carry you to the bench? No, I can use the crutches. I'm getting pretty good on them. Okay. So yeah, I'm gonna head to the bench and then yeah, I guess out of the gate I'll definitely get a water and an old Palmer. Two drinks? Yeah, yeah, I gotta hydrate because I'm worried about, you know... Dude, you burning an empty cup? I got my shaker bottle here. I guess you could just use this. We'll wash it out. And could you use a tablespoon of this whey protein as well? Throw that in the Arnold Palmer. And then do you guys do free breadsticks or anything like that? Or like a salad or something like that?

None of the food at the restaurant is free. I thought you could pay for the meal.

So it's not included in my membership that I already paid $200? Oh my god, you are a member! Yeah, man. I did it online. I did it online. Okay, I'll look you up. That's it? Marvin.

Okay, that seems... It seems like you had to take a little while to come up with that.

I don't ever sign up for stuff online with my real name because I don't want people being able to track me.

Okay, we don't have Marvin. You may have used your real name. How long ago was this?

Shit, no, I didn't use my real name. I used another fake one. Okay, so it's either Marvin or it's awesome exclamation point. Okay, 22. I'm not kidding.

Is it possible you spelled awesome wrong?

You know what? I might have left out the E. The first E. Oh, so you got the last one?

There we go. Awesome. Without the first E. Exclamation point 22.

Hi, table for one, please.

Oh, wee wee wee. The table for one. You are eating at the restaurant as well.

Are you a member? No, I just walked by and it looked really strange in here. I thought I might pop in.

Would you like to share a bench with this awesome man right here?

What happened to his legs?

It's a sad story. That is not a polite question, either, to ask someone.

Sorry, I was just walking by. I'm Chris Martin. Did I hear someone say the word yellow?

You have been banned from this restaurant for life, Chris Martin!

You are a filthy man. I'm pretty sure nobody did say yellow.

Oh man, how did someone free solo climb with just their legs?

You gotta lean up. Last name, Marvin?

Well, thank you so much, Jack, for those. There's way more, so I'll come back to them later. Thank you, Jack.

Jack Mackey! Thank you, Jack. Thank you so much to Jon and Ryan for doing the podcast, for coming back on. I have to say, and this is no shade to your previous guesting spot, I have to say you guys were, I'd say, 100% more correct in answering Riddles this time around. I, for me, for sure.

Jon's really good. I have no idea how this happened. I was coming on expecting to really lag behind, but I feel like maybe these types of homonym is a cheat code for me or something.

Well, Jon, I would like to throw this out. Before we started recording, you were having some internet issues and you were getting very angry, furious even. Do you think that maybe you have some sort of Hulk strength but for Riddles? Where your fury propels you to do better at riddles?

Yeah, like I get smarter the more angry. Like so it's kind of opposite. Reversal. I turn more into Bruce Banner the angrier I get.

Don't make me calm.

You wouldn't like me when I'm calm.

I am tallying these scores. Ryan you've won so I'm gonna send you a pizza covered in Jon's teeth.

Oh great, great. Do I need to supply them or what happens?

I said the guy, he'll be there soon. Oh there's a guy outside.

But Jon you have to supply some plugs. Is there anything you want to plug?

I will say we did have Drew and Dan on very recently for an episode and they didn't have anything to plug. So if you have something, we really regret having them on because they didn't plug anything. It was a big misunderstanding. But we would love to have you guys plug something.

Oh, we'd love to plug something. Plug it up, Jon. Yeah, if you're listening to this then I believe currently you can go to www.biggrandewebsite.com where you can purchase two new podcasts from us. A longer form sort of hour-long podcast that's a sort of Teachers Lounge-esque type thing and then another podcast that is sort of little micro doses of Big Grande Improv. So yeah, you can go to the website and you can get both of those right now started. They're going to be coming out over the course of the next few weeks, but you can get them right now.

And now that we have this new website, there's going to be all kinds of fun stuff on there.

Yeah, we're hoping that biggrande website.com is sort of a hub, you could say, for Big Grande content, whether it be video, podcast, merchandise, animation, all those kind of things, animations, you know, stuff.

I'm not going to do... You heard of your first folks, nudes on the website.

But just slowly from your feet up and then slowly from the feet up.

But yeah, so go to www.biggrande website.com right now and buy the two. Can we say the names of the shows, Ryan? Is that a thing?

Sure, why not? Yeah, one of the shows is going to be called Last Resort and the other one is called Exit 42.

Yeah, Last Resort is about four guys who run a resort hotel restaurant. And they're not very good at it. And then Exit 42 is a series of scenes that all take place at businesses and locations at the same exit on the highway. So you can get both of those right now. Cool to say that out loud.

And I will say that the four guys of Big Grande so graciously gave us promo code so that we could listen to all of those episodes and they are fantastic. And this is not something that I'm springing on my guests right now. This is something that really did happen and if you DM me about it, I will swear that it happened.

It's been a lot of fun making them. Yeah, we're excited for everyone to hear them and excited to have a new place to put stuff.

Yeah. That's phenomenal. Can't wait for that. And listeners, I can't imagine people have not heard us talk about Teacher's Lounge. But if you haven't listened to Teacher's Lounge, in my opinion, the most underrated comedic podcast of all time. So please listen to that. And also check out Man Now Dog Pot if you have not listened to that, which is Ryan and Dan.

Oh, and I guess I could also plug, I do a podcast on Twitch, a live podcast every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. called How You Been with Brett DeMott.

Right over the shoulder.

Yeah, there's a sign hanging behind it. I host it directly from where I'm sitting right now and it's basically what the fuck with Mark Maron if Mark Maron was a nobody from Pennsylvania and he could only get his friends to be his guests. Ryan was the first guest on the show.

You can go and see it on our... Gotta check out the first episode. I think they've all gotten worse since then. What do you think?

I'd say, I'd say, quality-wise, definitely, viewership-wise, definitely. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm cruisin' to zero concurrent viewership.

No, no, no. That's exciting stuff. We're kidding, of course. Jon is building an empire over there. He's a hilarious host with hilarious guests. You've seen all his guests. They're all great. That's very kind.

Fantastic. Thank you both so much for coming on.

Thanks for having us you guys. What a joy. Truly such a blast.

You guys are such wonderful people and it's so nice to see your faces again.

Well I say this with all sincerity and I would say it to your faces. You guys are the tallest people I've ever met. That's so sweet of you.

That's so nice. I'm going to send you a pizza and it's going to be funky weird.

Also, Tarver is only like 5'10". Yeah, that's true. He's normal.

When we met you guys in person, it really was just like... Yeah.

I was even wearing a basketball jersey, I think.

I think collectively, yeah, mass wise, mass and sort of group height wise, we are probably the tallest group of four men who do things together.

And comedy wise, four absolute giants of the genre. You guys are sweet.

I hadn't googled you guys when I had been listening to Teacher's Lounge for a few months the first time I met you and I was shocked. I was like, oh my God, they're all tall. They didn't all have to be tall.

You guys sound like angry, tiny guys.

I was honestly shocked that Dan was not like just the 64 year old guy in your improv.

I was very shocked. I think it was a bad move not getting a 65.

Hey Riddle.

Casey is a full-time freelance editor and his computer is basically his everything. So if you like the stuff that Casey makes and you have the means to help him out, we are linking a GoFundMe in the show description for a new computer for Casey. Casey is a beautiful man, one of the kindest human beings on the planet, and it would be awesome if you could throw him a couple bucks. Again, that link is in the show description.

Erin, anything to plug? Nope. Yeah, I mean, me neither. That works out.

Adal, Adal, anything to plug.

There's one specific beautiful celestial star, a planet even, that I would like to plug. Erin, fill in this gap. The most beautiful planet in the world is blank.

Jupiter, goodbye, most beautiful planet in the world.

Bye forever.

...by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan, Casey Tony could be editing, and I'm already parenting the few things.

Hey Pines and Cones. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We return to the classic game of small, medium, or large. You can get that plus our entire back catalog by joining the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8 at patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See you there! That was a head gum podcast.