Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

And whosoever shalt dare try to lampoon Erin's closet eyes must sit through Adal's puns and barbs as JPC steals their magic cards. The foulest noise is in the air, the groans of 40,000 listeners, as the solution to each riddle asked ends up being such fucking trash. For though the puzzies posed seem fine, the answers will be shitting. For no mere mortal shall resist the evil of these riddies. I'm very tired, play the theme.

The doctor wants the mummy. Mr. Gummy block a fat thing. Although there are more small things.

It was a cabin in the wood. It's as if an icon that works had a horse's neck there. 1, 2, 3, 4, Bleh Riddle Riddle.

Master, master, it's ready. I've done it. Yes.

Oh, now, when you say you've done it.

Yes, I've done what you asked. I took the body of Erin Keif. Yes, yes. And the brain of JPC. Yes, yes! And the plaid of Adal Rifai. I'm sorry? And the plaid of Adal Rifai. Oh, the plaid? Yes, the flannel plaid. Oh, Renfri, you fool. What? What? I said... Throw the Adal part in the trash. Oh, I messed up. I'm sorry. Oh, it's okay. It'll have to do. It'll be covered in plaid. Master, here we go. Let me throw the switch.

Wow, I've got a great ass now. I look hot. I'm GPC and I've never looked better because I got this sweet sweet Erin body. Ooh, police horses. I'll kiss a cousin if you pay me in piss. Yabba!

It's almost perfect, but the plaid is just wrecking it for me. It's just too much plaid.

I've never been better. Oh, now I'm not wearing plaid.

It's Z- Adal wears zipper plaid?

Begeti, where the hell are you? You're my dog and I'm dating Mariah.

No, Master, what I was doing was I was going to say zip. Hey, it's me, Adal Rifai, aka Count Puzula. We also have JPC, aka David S. Puzzies, and Erin Keif, aka Spooky Sleepy Witch.

Have you noticed I changed my costume this year? Oh, what's your costume? I'm a skeleton that has muscles and skin and nerves over it.

So a body.

No, Erin, that's just a body. That's kind of stepping on David S. Puzzles because that's my whole thing. It's like I'm a body. Yeah, what are you doing?

Scary, I'm a skeleton with skin and hair over it. You are covered in Essay Crunch. That's unrelated to this episode.

Welcome to the third annual Bleh Riddle Riddle, our Halloween spooktacular. JPC, what were you going to say?

I was just saying that I don't know about you guys, but we're obviously not going to have trick or treaters this year, so we didn't buy a bunch of candy to hand out to them. And vis-a-vis, I have not eaten a bunch of fucking candy, and I'm pissed. Where my candy's at?

Yeah, you seem a little grump. I'll send some candy to your house.

I am a grump. I'm a big grump because I want my little, I want my little crunch bars. I want my little Mr. Goodfellas. I want my little Snickers. Is that what you call kids? Yeah.

And then I also want candy.

And then I want candy too.

I want my few Musketeers. I want to eat an Almond Joy.

Well GBC, oh go ahead Adal.

You might have stumbled onto something in terms of, yes, we cannot deliver candy to kids. I've seen a few YouTube videos where people are making bespoke crafted tubes from their porch to the front sidewalk. Yeah, I need my tubes for something else. They just dump candy in it and it shoots down to the sidewalk, but I think you saw a lot of something where maybe we just have kids give us their... No, this is gonna come out weird. Nevermind. I was gonna say we could have kids give us their address and then we could Amazon ship them candy, but that sounds terrible.

Why? Explain how that would be bad.

That sounds great to me.

Can I get your address? Honestly, it sounds fine to me. You have some weird hangups.

Well, JBC, how about Sean and I come trick-or-treating at your house so you have an excuse to buy candy. We won't come up to the door. We'll away from our car. We won't be wearing costumes.

I think so last year was our first year in this place and we were like we were unsure if there would even be trick-or-treaters I think was also very cold last year on Halloween and we put just we put and also spaghetti goes crazy if anyone rings the doorbell or knocks we're like we don't want to deal with this so we just put a big bowl of candy on our porch like a big bowl of candy on the porch and just assigned this to take one and we came out at the end of the night and it was like no one had come like maybe like three people had taken candy so then we had this enormous bowl of candy that we just ate or I ate I'm actually glad. I'm actually glad I don't need to eat that much candy.

If I had kids in the city and there was just a bowl that wasn't chaperoned of candy out, I would be like, we're not taking candy from that. I want to look a man in the eye. And I'll decide if I trust the candy he's handing out to me.

I just want to Venmo kids and go go to Walgreens or something like you can buy for three dollars you can get so much candy.

That's the spirit Adal, that's the point.

You'll save your little tootsies two hours of walking so put them up on the on the ottoman and just zone out and watch some invaders or whatever kids fucking watch today.

Somewhere off distant in the future a prosecutor was just handed an envelope that has the line I want to Venmo kids and they were like we got him. Case closed.

The prosecution rests. There was one Halloween that I had chicken pox and I was supposed to be an angel. So for a few houses on my block, including my aunt's house who lived two houses down, my dad held me and was carrying me and then held up my angel costume with the other hand and was like, she would have been wearing this.

That's like what the parent of a missing child says. My daughter would have worn this angel costume. If you know anything about Kelly, please call.

And my sister came home with so much candy and I was like, I'm very sick. Could you spare a couple of Reese's for your very sick, younger sister? And no one gave me any more candy.

It was definitely... And you were an 85-year-old New Yorker as a kid?

Yeah, I was... Could you please spare some candy? That's also her ABC impression from the beginning of the episode. Diane is on leave and I haven't seen her in a dog's age.

Oh boy. Well speaking of Halloween in 2020, we are going to get to, we have all kinds of wonderful content, but I think we have some yearly traditions. One of course is shame pigs. So we kill a pig and we whisper our secrets into its mouth and then eat the pig.

I wasn't here last year. I don't remember that.

Um, but something I'd like to pose to you all is something we talked about last year, which is what do we think, even though there are not going to be trick or treaters, what do we think if there were, what would have been the top costumes of 2020? And I think there's a right answer.

Ugh, okay. Well, people are predictable. It would have been like Tiger King, Coronavirus.

Tiger King and Carole Baskin.

Cerrodo starters.

It would probably be... Cerrodo starters.

Cerrodo starters. What kind of bread is this? Is this Cerrodo? Cerrodo starters.

Yeah, I think that the Joe Exotic thing probably would have been pretty popular. What else was popular? Probably some Borrets. Lovecraft Country, so maybe some like Eldritch Horrors, some Cthulhu look at things, tentacles all over their face. The Vow was popular, so I don't know, what do you wear when you're in like some sort of like sex cult? Like that? Like dressed up like that?

Come just as you are, JBC.

That's that's that's the model we throw on the door. What else has been popular this year? Yeah, it's like it's like booms and booms and it's just like Whatever was lucky enough to have already been shot that they could produce in quarantine and then throw out there but What was the Andy Sandberg movie? That was big for a minute.

Oh, Hot Rod. There was a part of me when I was thinking about this and I thought of Tiger King, I was like, Tiger King? That 2004 documentary? And I was like, that was like five months ago.

It has a real 2004 vibe.

I never watched it. I assume it was bad because of internet. It was entertaining, but it's not good. And another tradition we have now, our yearly Halloween tradition, is that I give a riddle and then I give the answer one year later. So all you cats and kittens out there have been very patient for 365 days. This is the one that I think that people like most of all. So 2019, the riddle from one year ago is what is wicked, homeless, white, and goes up and down. You two guessed several, you said something about like a Bostonian, can't remember what else.

Sounds like me.

Something about a carousel. Yeah, I was going to say carousel. That sounds familiar. So what is wicked, homeless, white, and goes up and down? You guessed it. Santa Claus? A ghost in an elevator.

And my favorite part of these is they're always worth it.

YouTube both made the exact same tongue click at the same time.

Well, you combined our bodies and our brains. What did you expect?

And my flat. And my flat. People have been waiting an entire year to hear ghosts in an elevator.

Oh, I would like to see a scene. Okay. So, Adal, you're an elevator operator, a GPC, you're a ghost, and you just moved into the building and you're very, very rich, and you're just trying to, like, let the elevator operator know how rich you are.

Good morning, sir. What floor will we be going to? A booth. A booth. Sorry.

A booth.

And a booth to you. Okay. You must be Canadian.

I was. I'm now a ghost, so. A boo. A boo. A boo. A boo. Ghosts have no nationalities. Please, I don't wish to talk to you all day. Please, a penthouse one.

Oh, here you go. I also have Playboy or Hustler, if you'd prefer.

I will take all three, but I will take them back to my penthouse with me.

Ooh, the pervert sandwich. All three. I'll put the penthouse in the middle and the playboy on top and the house over the bottom.

They're perverted about it. A ghost enjoying pornography. I've got all this ectoplasm and my doctor says that if it doesn't get out, I lose it. So there's nothing perverted about that.

Oh, sir, I must say I didn't know you were a ghost, but I'm happy to have a ghost in the building, and I just want to let you know that... Please, please, please.

You're embarrassing yourself. I'm a ghost. Let's leave it at that. Penthouse one. Penthouse one.

Penthouse one. Going up, sir.

Uh, no. You know I'm a ghost. Oh. I would like to go to the ghost penthouse. Oh. Uh, going down?

Yes, thank you.

It's in sub-basement penthouse one.

Let me try and break the elevator here so we go down below the ground floor. Please. Famously, we don't have a basement here at the build more. I'm sorry, what was your name? My name is Jonathan.

Jonathan, well normally elevator operators, Jonathan, don't narrate every piece of everything that they're doing of their duties. I'm a ghost and I'm a millionaire. I don't need to know all about your life.

Oh, I've blown it. Let me just swipe the sweat off my brow because I'm sweating profusely and I'm gonna unbutton the top two buttons of my jacket because it's getting a little hot in here. Wow, we're really going down. We must have gone down 300 miles.

Yes, well I'm penthouse one. And Jonathan, don't Don't mistake what you are doing. Don't mistake your intentions. I see you unbuttoning your jacket, wiping your brow. You think that you saw one movie where the guy fucks the ghost or whatever. Ghostbusters. He gets a blowjob from that library. He gets a blowjob from a ghost at a library. You saw Dan Acker get it and his eyes rolled back into his head and you thought, next time I see a ghost, I'm going to try. Well, I'm a millionaire. So if you think that I'm going to go down on you, Unless the conditions are exactly correct.

Ding! I need to say something. Dan Aykroyd has come up... Was that scene? Erin, was that scene?

Yeah, that was scene, of course.

Ding is scene. Ding is scene in ghost talk. Ding is scene. You don't get it. Ding is scene. Follow us live. Dan Aykroyd has come up twice in 24 hours for me. Really? What is the first time? Sean's college friends got engaged and we were all going and dropping off gifts and we brought them a bottle of wine and another one of his college friends came running in and was like I have something like to the backyard where we're all meeting was like I have something to give you and took out this bottle of vodka that's shaped like a skull and was like guess who it signed by? And he was like, what? And he was like, Dan Aykroyd. He was like, dude, I don't give a shit about Dan Aykroyd. What is this? And he's like, yeah, I got this signed by Dan Aykroyd. And I was like, why are we talking about Dan Aykroyd so much? And I can't believe he's come up twice in 24 hours.

What is Dan Aykroyd doing signing bottles of his vodka? I don't know. Is he had nothing else to do? I don't know.

He's been doing that for like the last 10 years. He'll go to like Binnies or wherever and show up and sign bottles of his like $100 Crystal Skull vodka. That shit's a hundred dollars? I'm sure. Something like that.

I'm dating the wrong guy in that friend group. His name's Tall Tommy. That's what we call him. I gotta go date Tall Tommy.

Let's get into some spooky rib cages and ghosties. Here's the first one.

Yes, rib cages and ghosties.

Okay, thank you so much. Thanks for the support.

Let's go ahead and- Hey, I'm David S. Puzzles. Hey, Riddles.

Yes, the first one is, it wraps you and Casey puts some spooky music behind any spooky, uh, uh, Riddy I read.

Hey Casey, don't you dare put anything spooky behind me, my man. I'll fucking punch its lights out if I see something spooky coming up behind me.

Hey Casey, that's a mirror. Oh wow.

That's why my hands all cut up. Fuck. It wraps you in its ghostly arms, a gray and clammy thing. Yet if you move, it lets you go and never says a thing. What is it?

Fog.

Erin, you nailed it. It's fucking fog.

Interesting. And I want to say a moat or an echo. If I get a guess, if this is still America... You couldn't be more wrong.

Here we go. Here's another one. This is a little more on the lighter side. What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns? Erin got scared.

Um, I keep burping, am I okay?

Uh, do you want me to WebMD yet?

Yeah, please. Hold on, are you here? Look up burping on WebMD, I'm serious.

On WebMD it says, are you floating to the ceiling with your grandpa?

That's from Mary Poopins.

Yeah, Erin is on, Erin, he is on WebIMBD. It is very different.

Wait, look up burping on WebMD, I'm curious.

Okay, I got you, Erin. It's gonna, I'm sorry, I have to ask you a couple of personal questions.

Um, who knows? Who's to say? Eye color? Uh, sad.

Eye weight?

Ooh, ooh, probably like, ooh, I don't, pound seems like too much, but less than that it seems like too little.

I love that movie. Hey guys, I don't like thinking about my eyes outside of my body. Hey Erin, surprisingly that is a response. I don't like thinking about my eyes outside of my body. I'll put that. And you said do the symptoms include burping?

I'm not burping. I also got my wisdom teeth out this week and everything hurts.

Oh, that's right. You got them heavy eyes, but that real light mouth.

WebMD says it is most likely testicular cancer. Okay, that's not fun. Good luck. Good luck, Erin.

I'm sorry I laughed that hard. I was very surprised that he said that. I'm sorry.

It's just WebMD. It always says that you have cancer, guys. Let me actually talk to a freaking doctor if you can afford one, which nobody can because nobody has healthcare.

Speaking of things that aren't funny, what should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns?

Ask them to stop.

I want to see a scene. Um, JPC, you are a clown and you, uh, so full clown, the wig, the nose, the shoes, get up. Um, and you are, you are trying to, uh, seriously mug Erin for her purse.

Excuse me, ma'am. No, no, no, no.

Yay!

Hey, hey, you listen to me now.

You listen to me now. You listen to me now. Oh my God, it's so cute. Let me film this.

No, don't film this. Okay. Hey, give me your purse and your wallet.

Oh, okay. Um, wait, are you gonna like pull one of those long... Oh, that's magicians.

What do you do? Just give me the fucking wallet and the purse. I'll do whatever you want to do. I'll make you laugh.

Wait, do you have a little dog on a tricycle with you?

No, I do. You can see the dog.

Here he is. Oh my gosh.

This is so cute. Jackson, Jackson, I gave you the switchblade. Where could you put it? I sold it. You sold it? Jackson, you're fucking useless. Also, why does your voice sound just like mine? You're a dog and I'm a man. I learned it from you, bark bark. Oh boy, okay.

Wait, don't tell me that flour on your chest has water in it.

There's a flour in my chest? I'm allergic. Oh God. Oh, that was a poignette. I could've been killed. Speaking of killed, give me that wallet. I'm a bad man. I'm a kid in my room.

It's so cute and funny.

Can I ask you a serious question? Yeah. Do you really think I'm funny? Yeah, it's so funny. Well, the whole reason I was turning to a life of crime is because clowning wasn't working out and nobody thought that I was funny anymore. But because you, a lady on the street, think that I'm funny, I renounce my life of crime and I can go back to just being a clown. Here's a tip.

Okay, is it gonna be like, get a new line of work? No, no, I don't have any advice. Here's the $20 tip. You are hilarious.

Okay, fuck me, right? This is like a fake joke money, it's Monopoly money? No! You fucking with me? You're very funny, you're a funny man. I don't eat your fucking charity!

I don't eat your fucking charity! Wait, he's taking my car! My car that's so small on the outside but has a ton of room on the inside!

I open the door, come on, get in, dogs! I got an army of dogs right in the trash that goes, we're all gonna take your car!

See? So, JBC, quick question. Do you consider Mickey Mouse a clown? He's the world's greatest clown. All right, because you were definitely doing your Mickey Mouse impression.

There's more similarities between a clown and Mickey Mouse than there are differences. Welcome to my college course.

The only clown that I know that sounds good, the only voice that I know that is a clown specific voice is Krusty the clown's voice, and we have more shows to record tonight, so I don't really feel like doing that to my voice, right? Sure. Can you give us a taste?

Hey boys and girls, it's me, question the clown.

I really love your commitment to the craft. Anybody got a towel?

What should you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns? My friends, you should always go for the juggler.

I forgot that Halloween riddles are just bad jokes.

That's also really bad advice. Yeah, terrible. Still like rips someone's throat out? Because the juggler is concentrating and he's not going to be a threat for a while. Here we go, here's another one.

In ancient times, you are... I'm surprised I just remembered I was in the juggling club in high school.

What did you juggle?

Just like hacky sex?

I don't think I ever juggled.

Erin, you were in a juggling club in high school?

I think we juggled a little bit, but mostly we really wanted the sweatshirts.

I have a follow-up question, Erin, if I may. How hot was the guy who was also juggling gloves?

You don't know me. I think it was a guy who was, this is going to sound like I had a crush on him, but I didn't. His name was Mike O'Neill and he was a senior when I was a sophomore maybe, but he started a juggling club and we really wanted the sweatshirts and then I wore that sweatshirt like every day. Not great.

I remember when I was in high school there was this, they had hired a teacher, I can't remember what year it was when I was in high school, but I had more high school to go through. They hired a teacher, she was like 26 and she was a pottery teacher and she was like smoking hot.

I could have told you that by her 26 year old pottery teacher.

There are two electives of pottery and then the very next semester there was like six pottery electives and the classes filled up instantly and it was 95% guys.

That's hysterical. I'm trying to think if we had anyone really hot. We had a sub, a substitute teacher who was at the middle school and high school for a while that everyone called Quiz knows because he was such a hot sub. That's fucking cool. Quiznos, instead of our world geography teacher, what a good day. He was so hot. He was unreasonably hot.

Yeah, it's fun. I wonder what those guys are up to now.

We'll never know.

We'll never know. I remember being a junior in high school, so I would have been, yeah, 16 or 17. And I remember meeting someone who was 22 and like a friend of a friend. And I remember thinking like, this is the oldest human on earth. This guy is basically dead. Like, I can't imagine what it's like to be 22. So old.

And now you're six times that age.

What? OK, speaking of old. In ancient times, you are a poor, clever thief charged with treason against the king. He sentenced you to death, but will let you choose how to die. How should you choose to die?

I should dye my clothes blue, using the indigo plant from the river.

I choose a natural death.

Blue is basically purple which is total hubris. Natural death is, yes, that is basically it. I choose childbirth.

Oh, that's funny. Give him the points. Give him the points.

It'll never happen to me.

Unless an alien comes down and gets you pregnant.

And I have to do it at my butt? I don't want to.

This is a good intro to my new sci-fi series. We'll have to talk about... Butt baby?

How should you choose to die? From old age. Very nice job, Erin. Hell yeah. Here we go. Here's the next one. Two brothers were watching a horror film on video late one night.

One brother dozed off into- Make sure you hit that second R. K.

Brothers! Brothers! Brothers were watching a horror film on video late one night. One brother dozed off and dreamed that he was being chased by the crazy man from the movie who was trying to kill him. In the dream he hid in a cupboard. There was no sound except his heart pounding and he had no idea where his crazed captor was. He was terrified. At that moment the video finished and his brother put his hand on the shoulder of his sleeping sibling to wake him. The shock at that tense moment was enough that the sleeping brother suffered a massive heart attack and died instantly. My friends, true or false?

Huh. So that's the question. Is now this is true or false?

This book sucks.

So, okay, so, okay. So these brothers, did we, did we, at the very beginning of the riddle, did we hear anything about the brothers? It's just two brothers. That's the only information that we got was that the two brothers.

Two brothers watching a horror film. One falls asleep and has an insane dream where he's being chased by the killer from the movie. Sure. The other brother, as soon as the movie's ending, goes to wake up his sleeping brother, and at that moment he's so shocked that someone touched him, he dies instantly.

So, false, because they were watching the movie together, and I have two brothers, so I should know how this works. It's a horror movie, they were both already touching each other, right? They're at each other's arms, they're all wrapped up, they're under the same blanket. So when he touches his shoulder, he's already connected to his brother by physical touch. And the physical touch between two brothers is never a shock, it's always a welcome relief. So, I would say, false.

Okay, um, alright Erin you said false as well. What is your reasoning?

Whatever reasoning is written down in front of you.

Erin, you nailed it. It is false. Erin has an amazing answer. It was false because if he had died instantly, how would anyone know about his crazy dream?

Oh, that's what I said. Twins.

I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. The two of you are siblings. You're watching a horror film, but you keep getting distracted because you're starting to annoy each other.

Who's that?

Loser says what?

Who are all these people? Have we seen these people before in the show?

They're actors in a movie. What? Okay, this is okay.

This looks like found footage.

These are actors? Yeah, this is actors in a movie.

This whole movie is insane. I am so over this whole movie.

Loser says what?

Oh my god, that girl just no way a human body has that much blood in it. I will have to say. I call bullshit on that amount of blood.

You have something on your shirt.

Oh my god, yeah, I was eating french fries earlier and I completely ruined this shirt. Ugh, long story.

Are you telling me you couldn't conceptualize that these are actors in a movie? That's Meryl Streep. Who? I'm gonna fucking kill you.

What are some of the things that she's been in because I don't know people but I know movies?

Okay, um, Sophie's Choice.

No.

Uh, Devil Wears Prada?

No.

Out of Africa?

No. Was she in Damages?

No, that's Glenn Close.

Yes, that's the one I know.

That's the only actress you know. Name one other actress.

Rose Byrne, from Damages.

Okay, but name one other actress who isn't in Damages.

Does Ted Danson count? No, he's in Damages.

Mom!

Yes? John doesn't know any actors who aren't from Damages.

Uh, sweetie, name at least one. Let your sister, let your sister be at rest.

Um, Mom, was Ted Danson's character's name Arthur Frobisher in Damages? You know, I'm not sure.

Was Timothy Orlify in Damages? What was his name in Becker? Becker. Oh, okay. What was his name? Okay. What was the one with Jason Schwartzman that nobody watched? Who?

Jason Schwartzman? You mean that Coppola boy? He's that Coppola boy. He's that Coppola boy.

He's that Talia Shire from Rocky. He's in that band?

What is Damages about? Mom! Mom! What is Damages about?

It's about an ex-boyfriend, um, an ex-boyfriend crashes a car and he has to pay for the damages.

John shaking his head.

No, no, no. That couldn't be further from the truth. Glint Close is a very successful attorney.

Mom, he farted on me. That's not true, it was a poop.

Same. I'm sorry. Ding. Is that what it was? Ding. And also we failed to do, last year it was, I want to see a scream. Oh shit! From now on, we're bound by the past. Casey, delete this and restart. Wink, wink, Casey, wink, wink. This should still come out. Let's do one more before we go to break here. This one is called The Headlights. Well, I love riddles with names. The two headlights came directly at the child in the middle of the road. Okay. It was too late for him to move. The headlights went past him without him moving and without them swerving. His parents scolded him when he walked home. What happened?

His two parents were on motorcycles with lights in front of them. They went on either side of him. They saw him walking in the middle of the road. They get home. They go, what the fuck were you doing?

Me and Cinderella put it all together. We could drive it home with one headlight.

That sounded better than Jacob Dillon. Erin, you are but a cause you're on a roll. The headlights belong to two motorcycles. And it was the two, the motorcycles belong to the twins from the Guinness Book of World Records.

Oh nice.

Yeah, isn't that fun?

Do you know that the first day I got my license I was speeding and being really dumb and driving and a guy in a different car had the right of way and I like stopped at the very last second and he like I think said fuck you to me and shook his head and then went in front of me and I realized it was my dad and I was like oh no

Did he know it was you?

He didn't register that it was me and then I told him like three years later because I knew if he knew that was me he would be like you can't drive. How the hell did you get your license?

Famously your dad does not like to curse so he probably didn't say fuck you he probably said like spoiled eggs or something like that.

But he looked I was like I have maybe a couple times in my life really made my dad mad. He's the sweetest, he's a teddy bear. So it was wild to see the venomous anger from my dad for the first time in my life as a stranger. I was like, oh my god, I'm going to be an incredible driver and I've never gotten a ticket.

And isn't it crazy how that's how your dad treats women that aren't personal members? That's fucked.

I would love if he just, like, verbally dismissed. I would love if he just verbally dismantled you, and then years later you're like, did you know that kid was mean? He's like, oh absolutely you dumb fucker.

I gotta say, Erin's dad's a nice man, I bet him.

No, he yelled out the window, you're a bitch and you shouldn't be allowed to vote. It was really weird. I was like, you have three daughters.

As he sped away, he said, I hate my life and what I've become.

Well, speaking of screaming dads, let's go ahead and take a quick spooky break and we'll be right back with more Bleh Riddle Riddle!

Bleh!

I would have done noises, but I was taking a sip.

One, two, three, four, Bleh Riddle Riddle. Bleh Riddle Riddle.

And we're back. We're back here with more bleh riddle riddle.

Oh, JPC, this is Puzzbot.

No, no, I am not Puzzbot. It's Halloween, so I'm dressed up.

I'm dressed up as a blood clot.

We must have gone like 30 episodes without you, Puzzbot. How the fuck did you find us in quarantine?

I was recharging and going door to door asking, have you seen my friends?

Okay, that's very dangerous. Puzzbot, can you just give us just a second and just a quick sidebar?

Just a quick second. Of course, should I power down?

Yeah.

Power down, power all around, power however you want, man.

Um, GPCs. Yeah. This is obviously Adal wearing cardboard boxes with another costume on top of that.

Yeah, it's obviously it's the double cardboard box costume that I used to do all the time, yes.

Yeah, so he's a blood clot on top of a... Pretty like... Puzzbot. Puzzbot, like pretty.

Because blood clot sounds like Puzzbot. Hey buddy, can power down a robot's talk?

No, yeah Okay, have we been we need to maybe pay more attention to honestly He's just like a lot when he puts puzzbot on we know that he's not okay And the fact that he's added blood caught to puzzbot just means it's getting infinitely worse Let's just be nice to him for the rest of the episode to kind of do whatever he wants Okay, it's gonna be really really hard Hey, it's going to be really hard for me, but I have this trick that while we're recording, I take both of my hands, I put them on my thighs, and I squeeze those motherfuckers.

Hey, hey guys. Sorry, I'm out of breath. What's been going on? We all hate Pezbot, right?

No! Oh boy. Yeah, no, we love Pezbot.

We love Pezbot, but you know who we love more than Pezbot? Blood clot. We didn't get to see enough of that guy, and we really love blood clot. Aww.

Unrelated to this, let's go back to group therapy.

Hey, and while we're going somewhere, let's stop by a thigh doctor.

Yeah, my legs are bleeding.

Well, speaking of Popeyes, give me me olive oils because we have... You know what I'm 100% sure of?

If either of you ever had to take me into the emergency room, I am 100% sure you would both force me to stop and get fast food on the way there.

We'd be like, oh, Erin, how bad is it on a scale of 1 to 10? Can you wait for Culver's?

If there was a lockdown in Silver's on the way to the hospital, Erin, you would be absolutely fucked.

Oh, you died.

Yeah, you'd bleed out.

If there was a Culver's on the way, and I'm bleeding, I've been stabbed, and I'm like, Adal, can I just get medium fringe right, please?

And I'll say, nope, you shouldn't have tipped that clown. We would get to the hospital, you would go up there and be like, excuse me, I think I need a room, and I'd be like, where's your restroom? Where's your restroom, please? I just had a concrete mixer and a large bag of cheese curds. I need to do what Glenn Close would call damages.

What the fuck is damages about?

Don't worry about it.

We'll do it next Halloween.

I'll look it up on WebMD.

Call your toilet Glenn Close because I just did some damages.

Call your toilet clean clothes because I did the 101 Dalmatians live action. Who's made more sense Adal?

You be the judge. Is your toilet a 2004 horror film because it's in ruins.

Guys if you have one of your own just tweet or Instagram at hey riddle riddle hashtag damages.

All right, so we have something special here for the second half of Bleh Riddle Riddle because Halloween's my favorite holiday. We always love being so spooky and scary. So I have something special for you. And what it is, is mummy, mummy, mummy, spider, spider, spiders, give me such a fright. A ghoul terrifies haunted doll hair giveaway based on a tome adultude, my death and riddies and pussies undead. Adal writes a check.

Bleh, mommy, mommy, mommy, spider, spider, spider, excuse me, such a fright. Agul terrifies, haunted, I'll hear a giveaway. Agul terrifies, haunted, I'll hear a giveaway. Based on the tome attitude, my death and riddies and posies on that Adal Rites sake shake.

Wow.

Six days? That took you six days. That's amazing.

So we're going to do a little quick version of our game show for Halloween. The first part, the first segment of this game show, what I need you to do is if you think you know the answer, you do have to blood in. So instead of buzz, you're going to blood in. You're just going to say blood and then I'll call on you. Okay, quick. JPC, let's go to Culver's.

I stabbed my armpit.

So the first portion of this is called Monster Cash. What's going to happen is I am going to ask you a question and the answer is always going to be in the form of the very first line of the song by Boris Pickett, Monster Mash. So do we both know the first line to that song? Blood. Blood. Thank you, Erin. Erin, go ahead.

I was working in the lab late one night.

Correct. I was working in the lab late one night and you do have to do that Boris Pickett voice. Got it. So, for example, if I were to say what a CrossFit practitioner might say to explain why they were tightening up their six-pack from 11 p.m. until midnight, you might say

In my, uh, pot blood.

Yes?

In my eyes to the weirdest sight.

Oh, that's the second line. We're only gonna deal with the first line. So there's gonna be some sort of rhyming elements.

Okay.

So what a CrossFit practitioner might say to explain why they were tightening up their six-pack from 11 p.m. until midnight is, I was working on my abs late one night.

Oh, okay.

I'm ready and I'm excited.

Capoosh.

Thank you, Erin. I gotcha. Here's the first one. Would a veterinarian says to their spouse in the morning after some hours late put in overtime?

Blood.

Yes.

I was working on the lab late last night.

Erin, that is correct.

It's a lab dog.

Yes, I wrote the joke. The first dog that we ever got, Casey, most of our family dog, we got it from a dog breeder out in the country and all the labs were cupped in a barn called the laboratory.

That's cute. I like that. People have fun.

And it was a lot of, like, the two front halves of a dog sewn together.

Oh yeah, it was a nightmare in there. That guy got shut down.

I was wondering... Dog cries! It was like dog eyes in a gorilla, that kind of stuff.

I was wondering where we got Casey from. And now I know. Yes.

Yeah.

From the lab.

Big, blonde, dumb as a big box of bricks.

Casey is typing.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Here we go. I think the rest of these have two rhyming words, and some of them might be slant rhymes. Here we go. What JPC was caught doing masturbating with multiple windows open on his computer. Oh, blood. I think Erin got it.

I was whacking on some tabs.

Blood, blood, blood. Erin, you are not fully correct, JPC.

But that was funny.

I was jerking off to tabs late one night. That is correct. JPC is correct.

Yes.

Yes. Whacking. But Erin, I'm so glad you said that because that was a treat to hear. So the score is tied one to one. Here we go. Next one. Yes. An exclamation from someone who performed both a late 80s butt bounce dance and a mid 2000s arm action. Blood. JPC. I was twerking on my dab late one night. That is correct.

GPC now has two.

GPC, I really need this. I'm trying to afford a lampshade for my lamp.

Hey, Erin. If I win this, I'm taking that lamp out for a fucking steak and fish dinner. No! That's what I'm doing. I'm gonna line and dye your lamp shade and no shade all night long.

Adal! Erin, can I just say I'm deeply concerned because your body and face are covered in light bulb burns.

I'm telling you, I need the shade.

Sweetie, we gotta get you that shade.

I need to give it a kiss every night before bed. Yeah?

It'll never grow. How do you kiss? Here we go, next one. Doing what Kelly Slater does best, but on top of Sebastian? Doing what Kelly Slater does best, but on top of Sebastian?

Um, blood?

Blood?

I got half of it.

Erin, I think it goes first?

I was, hmm, on a crab late last night.

Erin, but if you don't have it, don't give me the half that you... I think we, how about we share this one? Kelly, we can share this one. I don't know Kelly Slater, because this is, is this Saved by the Bell?

Is that right? Yeah, this is what happened when Kelly Kapowski married A.C. Slater. She became Kelly Slater. Now, Kelly Slater is a athlete, the top of their game in the world at something very specific. So, they are the Michael Jordan of a certain thing. I will say, I was surfing on a crab late one night as a shot in the dark. That is 100% correct. Kelly Slater, I believe, is known as the best surfer of all time.

All right, we each got half. Better than Malibu Pete?

What kids today call watching Kevin Smith's first movie while atop a vehicle whose meter is running? Or Singer Callaway? I was clerking on a cab late one night. That is correct. I love Kevin Smith's entire catalog. That's what kids today, what do you call them? Gen Zers? When they watch that movie, they call it clerking, right?

They call it clerking, man. I love everything Kevin Smith's ever done. I love that weird sex tweet that he put out like 10 years ago that's super popular on the internet.

What is it?

Kevin Smith has a sex tweet. You guys don't know about Kevin Smith's sex tweet?

Look it up on WebMD.

Stop the podcast. Kevin Smith's sex tweet.

You just typed in MrSkin.com. He obviously is going to lose points for this, right Adal?

Guys, I'll be honest. Kevin Smith, this has been called the worst tweet in the history of Twitter. July 9th, 2009, Kevin Smith tweeted, 10 years in and we bone like we're cheating on each other with each other. A decade plus and her clit brown tane area still pones my dick. The director, Kevin Smith, he said, that's still up. It's still online. You can still find that on Twitter. He said later on that it was a, um, he had lost a bet with his wife or she could tweet the worst thing that she could think of on his Twitter, but it still lives.

Happy Halloween, everybody.

Honestly, knowing that the wife tweeted that makes it funny. I enjoy that. But if it was him, that would be gross and weird. Hey, maybe it was him and he just covered it up with that fucking wife story. Who knows? Please, please, honey. Please say we lost a bet. That was terrifying. JPC, you did lose a point. It did go to Erin. That sucks. Nobody wants to hear a sex tweet from Kevin Smith. So Erin now has two points. JPC, you are now at three. Here we go. We have, what do we have here? Three more. Oh, it's anybody's ballgame. When you're hidden from view, ready to ambush a 1963 soda from the Coca-Cola company.

Uh, blood. I was sneaking on some tab.

Erin, you got half of it. Unfortunately, sneaking doesn't rhyme with working.

I was, wait, say it again. Say the thing. Let me get it. Give me a chance.

You had a chance. You had the same chance.

You come through all I ever needed. All right, go ahead.

I mean, I will say whacking does rhyme with working. When you say the thing, what thing do you want me to say?

The first half.

I'm going to get it.

She wants a prompt.

When you're hidden from view, ready to ambush a 1963 soda from Coca-Cola.

Erin, tell me if you want to hint.

This is like a loose definition of this word, but this word does rhyme with working and the description I gave is a fairly good description.

So Erin, say that there's like a chat room going on and I'm watching the whole thing, but I'm not.

Lurking. I was lurking on some tub late one night. I know a little bit about lurking on chat rooms. You guys remember when I was in middle school? I told you this story on the show and I pretended to be, I went into a divorced people chat room and I pretended to be a divorced woman. I guess I was more active than I was lurking.

Yeah, but to be fair, everyone in that chat room was just a middle school girl pretending to be a divorced woman.

Wait, wasn't there an older guy in the room that called you a bitch and it turned out to be your dad? And that's how you found out your friends were divorced.

No, but I've never committed harder to a character.

What was the name of the character? Do you remember?

I don't remember.

I want to see you scream. Erin, you're going to be middle school Erin pretending to be a divorcee, but it's escalated to not just a chat room, but a phone call where you have convinced a divorced man that you are also divorced and you're calling to chat about being divorcees.

Hello?

Hi, this is Peter.

Hi Peter, oh beep beep, out of my way. Sorry, I'm driving a car on my way to the office.

No worries, I'm already at the office sipping my latte.

Great, that sounds so relaxing. I actually wish I could have a relaxing day, but I'm firing a lot of good men today. I'm the boss at my work office.

And you have all male subordinates, correct? I love that power dynamic.

And I know what the word subordinates mean, and that's what's interesting. How are you? How's your heart?

Well, I mean, it's, you know, one day at a time, it never gets easier, or it should. I don't exactly know how the platitude goes, but it's tough.

Wait, I'm getting pulled over. Whee! Wait, do you, uh, license and registration? Sure, here's my license. Yes, I was born in 1961. That's true. It says they're on my license. Sorry. Let me just finish talking to this cop.

Sweetie, who are you talking to?

Son, I'm much younger than you. I'm much, much older than you. Have a great day, cop.

Erin, I need the phone.

Sorry, that is the cop. Excuse me cop, I'm on the phone, hypothetically doing a science project with a friend. Sorry, I tried to get the cop off my back.

Yeah, no worries. This is actually riveting stuff. While you've been talking, and I know I'm just at work in this Hollywood movie producing plot, I've been typing this up. I think that this has all the bones of a very good, very hot summer blockbuster action movie.

Wow. Incredible. I would love to take my kids to that. The divorce has been hitting them very, very hard. I have a 16-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 5-year-old.

Sure. Well, I mean, that's all great backstory for your character. Would you like to make this movie happen?

Yes, of course. I do have my school play this... What, have your kids school plays? Yes.

Okay.

Well, uh... I'm on the phone!

Erin, you're grounded.

That was the cop again.

Cops are the worst. License registration? I'm afraid I have to ground you. Here we go. We're just going to do one more of these and then we're going to move on, I believe. When you give- Wait, what do you mean? What's the point structure right now? Right now it's 3-3. We have another segment. We have two other segments.

Okay, okay, okay.

I just want to make sure I can still win. So it's 3-3, but there's one more point to be had here and then we move on to other segments. Here we go. Last one for this segment. For Monster Cash. Ramon Stikash. When you give a smug, conceited smile to either a Bostonian guy who yells at you while driving, a Palestinian dude, or a fella who sort of looks like Hootie.

I was... blood.

Yes.

Thank God you said it. I was smirking at my dad late one night.

Erin, you absolutely fucking crushed it. Smirkin' at my dad. The final score for this segment is four to three. That was for Monster Cash.

Shit!

What do I win? You win a lampshade.

Which kind?

The one... The one that goes on the bottom.

I know a lot about lampshades now, so I want a good one.

We need to start a new chat group that's called Lampshade and we're just like, did you see Erin's... Oh yeah, taking pictures of people's lamps and being like, yikes! Did you see her fucking lamp? It's nasty.

You guys, do any of you make Victorian lampshades? I'm not talking to you two dummies, I'm talking to our listeners. Listen to me, do you make gorgeous lampshades with tassels or beads?

I used to make Victorian lampshades when I was alive.

So of the riddle of my death and I'm making a lampshade of them.

Erin, you sound like a local commercial. Do you make Victorian lampshades, tassels, or beads? You could be entitled to money now!

Honestly, if you do make lampshades and you listen to this show, I would love to give you my money and not a complete total stranger off the internet.

Well, in exchange for a lampshade.

No, no, no, no.

That's not what I said.

That's not what she said.

Alright, we're ready for the new segments.

Alright, next segment is called Punning with the Devil. This is something we did last year where I have come up with pun Halloween costumes that are a sort of combination or mishmash, if you will, of two different things and you have to guess what they are. So for example, if we went with Bram Stoker's creation going to 7-Eleven for some Doritos, Hot Takis, and Double Soft Oreos, that would be

Bram Stoker's famous... Snacula? Blood, blood, blood!

Snacula. That is correct. That was just the warm-up round, so the example's sake. So that would be... count Snacula. Count Snacula, blood. Everybody on board? Yes, yes. A mischievous creature with sharp teeth and claws who's not throwing away his shot.

Um, I'm not, this is not my answer, but I almost said Alexander Hammerwolf. Alexander Hammerwolf. My name is Alexander Hammerwolf.

He's got fangs and claws. Fangs and claws. I'll toss in there, although this is maybe more Hollywood. I'll toss in there, you shouldn't get it wet or feed it after midnight.

Hey, our cub is pretty great. I know, I know. Oh, um, what are they called?

Blood. Alexander Grimlinton.

You two are making this way harder than I intended. Mogwai, Aaron Mogwai. Okay, we're going to do a pass on this one. The answer was Gremlin Manuel Miranda. Okay. I only know Davidus.

My name is Gremlin. I am a Gremlin. What?

An observational stand-up who's literally in stitches. An observational stand-up who's literally in stitches.

Jerry Frankenstein.

What? JVC blood in, thank you. Jerry Frankensteinfeld? That is correct. Frankensteinfeld.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A Lovecraftian horror in the sky that's willing to drop $80 on yoga pants? A Lovecraftian horror in the sky that's willing to drop $80 on yoga pants?

Lulu Lemon, but a witch.

Blood. Oh no! Lovecraft famous for his witches.

Oh, Halloween is cancelled.

Blood. Yes.

Cthulhu Lemon. The answer is Cthulhu Lemon.

What I said is funny.

Yes, I want to see a scene. Erin, you are a Lululemon witch. So you're like a pretty Tony witch who's like pretty well off and you like brunch and you have your girls and you shop at Lululemon and JPC and I will be two of your girls and you're a witch.

Should we do another round of, uh, Mimosas? Mimosas?

Oh, oh yes. Mimo, yes. Uh, Mimo? Hell yes. Speaking of Jason Momoa, oh my gosh, is that still everyone's top of the list?

Um... Yes, I actually got a lock of his hair and I put it in... Oh... Yeah, I put it in my butt last night.

You know why they call him Aquaman? Wait, hold on. That stopped.

You know what? Why do they call him Aquaman?

Because he makes us wet.

The movie was so bad. I'm gonna get a spider in my mimosa. Do you guys want one?

Oh, yes, please.

Two for me.

No, I'm on this fucking diet I hate so much.

Oh my god, what is it? The diet.

Is it just newts? Yeah, it's a newt cleanse. So it's newts, ginger, cayenne pepper, water, honey, lemon.

Oh my gosh, but you're glowing. You can see on your skin, you're like a bright green.

Yeah, you're neon. Thank you. Yeah, spell went awry, but I'm looking better and I'm feeling better, so that's what it's about.

Um, Malisha, um, can I ask you, you said you put a lock of hair in your butt.

Should we do a girls trip together? Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh my god. I'm thinking like Moravora. Oh, I was thinking Cabo.

Oh my gosh, Cabo.

Cabo-lobo. You put a lock of hair in your butt?

Oh my god, girls, we have to get an Instagram post for the day.

Sure. I just got a new, since I have the two kids now, I have a midsize broom. Can we get it in front of that just to show it off? Wait, you still have the two kids? I still have the two kids. Oh my god, you gotta take them out of your oven.

Yeah.

They're fat enough, you should eat them.

Yeah, I'm just waiting, you know. I don't know what it is. Girl, stop. You deserve it. Eat those little Swiss kids.

Eat those kids.

Okay, let's hatch on, ladies. I just upgraded to a mid-sized broom. Okay, hats on. Hats on.

All right, and yee-hee-hee on three, everybody. Ready? One, two, three. Yee-hee. I have Jason Momoa's hair up my butt.

Dang, same.

I forgot the word for cauldron, so I had to say butt. We've all been there. Ladies.

Ladies, we've all been there. We've all been there. Erin, so I'm going to give you a leg up if you didn't know already. Lovecraft's most, maybe most famous creation was Cthulhu. So I just want you to know that going into the next one. Cool. So the last answer was Cthulhu Lemon. This one is a Lovecraftian nightmare in the sky who wrote about the four March sisters, Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy.

Yes. Close enough.

There you go. That's it. You're on the board. So it is now five to four. How about a giant kaiju caught passing bad checks? Oh, man. A giant kaiju, which is a Japanese monster that might destroy cities. A giant kaiju caught passing bad checks.

A witch, but money laundering.

Caught passing bad blood. Oh, blood. I will say blood and I will call this creature, Fraudzilla.

That is correct. It's Fraudzilla. How about a giant kaiju who loves using America's number one website for real estate?

Oh, blood. Blood, Erin. Godzilla.

That is correct. Damn it.

It wasn't Mothra Redfin.

Fuck. How about what you might call Ben Affleck being framed for murdering his wife Medusa? Blood. Yes. Gone, girl. Your hair is snakes. That is correct. Exactly as I wrote it. Erin, any guess? You're thinking of Gorgon Girl. Gorgon Girl. How about he'll lead you to his pot of gold, but only if you put down the bunny.

Puss. Yes. Leper James Cahn. Leper Scott Cahn. Leper Scott Cahn.

The answer is Leper Con Air.

How about a wee green man who dates Erin Keif? What's up?

It keeps burning up. Oh, blood. JPC? Stevie Phoenix. That is correct. Stevie Phoenix.

Phoenix Stevie Nicks is the best my brain could come up with.

Lindsey Buckingham. Lindsey Bucket of Bloodingham. This is the catchphrase of a magician who also happens to be a goat blood sucking creature. The catchphrase of a magician who also happens to be a goat blood sucking creature.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, blood. I believe J.P.C. has that. Yeah, because she didn't say anything. She didn't say blood. That's why I got it. Okay. Abra Chupacabra Dabra. I had Chupacabra Kadabra.

Oh, okay.

How about a- Gesundheit.

A creature, possibly hiding in the closet or under the bed, used to frighten children into good behavior, who also golfed one stroke over par. A creature used to frighten children may live in a closet or under a bed, used to frighten children into good behavior, who also golfed one stroke over par. That's the bogeyman. It's the bogeyman, the bogeyman. No, happy grimoire. How about a thin, unnaturally tall, featureless-faced sugar substitute? The Splendid Man. Blood, blood, blood. It is Splendid Man. But Erin gets that. So we're tied at 400 to 400. Here's the last thing. We're going to make this fairly quick and then wrap up the episode. The last thing that I need to do to Judgey 2 for this Halloween episode is based on Bort Pickett's hit other song, Monster Rap. The two of you are going to have to rap for Addie. So you're each going to do a rap song in a spooky theme. You're both tied. JPC, I'm going to get, since you said Splendid Man last, which is correct, we're going to have you go first. Okay. You're going to do a rap and the spooky theme for yours is going to be the moon. Oh, the moon. Okay.

Well, well, well, well, the werewolf. When the moon comes out, I rip my clothes and I walk about. I strut the streets and I'm all wanged out. People see me and then they shout. That's a werewolf. And he's wearing no pants. I just look and I give a side glance. I say, yeah, you like what you see? That's a werewolf. PPP. People go, ooh. People go, Ah, that werewolf has a big balls. Look at him. Lock him up. He's a werewolf showing his stuff. And me, the werewolf on the streets, I go back home into my sheets. The moon goes away and I come back to life and look at my stuff and I'm like, oh man. It was nice for a while being a werewolf. Dang.

How am I supposed to be that? Things to consider before I wrap. I can't rhyme. I'm bleeding from the mouth and hot people don't have to be talented.

Erin, famously, you rhymed Toronto with pronto, so I think we all know you're the master of this. You got this, Erin. Erin, your spooky topic for Halloween is candy. And also, bonus points if you start your rap with, my name is Erin and I'm here to say. Here we go.

My name is Erin and I'm here to say I'm ready for my payday. It's a candy bar. Don't look far. Go to your neighbors. Ring the bell. They open the door. They're straight from hell. They're not in a costume. That's just how they look. They're such nerds. They read some books. Trick or treat. Eat my feet. That's not an option. Just give me candy. We know I'm not done. My favorite candy is some Skittles. Before I have some, I'll solve some Riddles. Orange Starburst, Reese's too.

You want some help?

I can think of someone like you. Let me get out of this. Let me get out of this.

Well the werewolf's back and he's nicking his hail and he's walking around and he's swinging his bells.

I'll take any candy as long as it's blue.

There you go. And name one blue candy just so we know that you got out of it.

Blue lollipop.

Okay, final score is... JPC, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, so on the day that this comes out, if you are also a Stitcher Premium listener, I believe you can go listen to me on Hollywood Handbooks Pro version. I think it also came out on this Wednesday. And if it didn't come out, please do not tweet at me about it. I don't control the release schedule of that show. But I think it's there, so enjoy it. And you famously do some riddles with Sean and Hayes? Yeah, I take them through my best guess at what an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle would look like with them as the hosts. Erin, anything to plug?

Yes, if you are on our Patreon this weekend for Halloween, Sean and I are going to dress up with our dog and do some Halloween activities and give away prizes and stuff on a live stream. And we're going to vote on Discord of when we're going to do it this weekend. So head over there. Today I will put a little poll out. So join our Patreon. And then because we can't go out and we bought Halloween costumes, we're going to have a little Halloween party and you can win prizes. Mostly it's going to just be Ray Glass merch. I'll send it to your house. I'll do it.

So give her your address in your Venmo, kids.

And, uh, Erin Keif 10, follow me on Instagram.

Um, something I want to do before I forget, uh, for 2021, the riddle that we'll be answering is... Oh, yeah. Yeah, don't forget this. Why were there screams coming from the kitchen?

Oh, I don't care for this, Riddle. That's the one we're going to answer in 2021. It's just a question. Why were there screens coming from the kitchen? Thousands of answers to this.

And a few plugs I want to give. Everyone should watch The Queen's Gambit. I just finished watching that on Netflix, and holy hell, it's fantastic. So watch The Queen's Gambit. Also, if you're a fan of Rachel Bloom, she has a book coming out in November. You should pre-order that. Fantastic Woman, fantastic writer. I also did two guest spots this month. That's what I'm talking about. It's a podcast about all things JRR Tolkien, and the episode I did, we talk about the last hour of the first Lord of the Rings movie. It was an absolute blast. And then I was also guest on a podcast called Cooper Duper, a Twin Peaks podcast, and we watched and reviewed Season 2, Episode 15, which is famously known as the worst episode of Twin Peaks, directed by Diane Keaton. Also, please get out there and vote. I think that's about it, Erin. Is it ice cream?

Is it like ice cream or something? Like the screams in the kitchen is ice cream.

Yeah, we're making ice.

Y'all, that's a great guess. I really can't see any more until 2021. And famously, the number one costume for Halloween in 2021 is going to be... Jupiter.

You'll see why in a couple of months. It'll all make sense. Oh, forever.

And John Patrick Coan is scaring it up. Casey Tomier, the end of the day, is the horror manga. Read a book and card each area on the pyramid. Local created by heavily carved veterans in an aside for peace. One, two, three, four, bleh, riddle riddle.

Hurrah. Hurrah! Uh, Casey, should we start recording? That was our audio test. Should we just put that in the chat?

Hey Ghosts and Ghouls. If you liked that, you are gonna love this week's Patreon. The Clue Crew goes on a hike in the woods and it goes disastrously wrong. You can listen to that episode plus our entire back catalog by going to Patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle and joining the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8. See you there and happy Halloween!

That was a Headgum podcast.