Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Two paws or not two paws? That is the riddle.

Two sweep, por tuance, two dream.

Two on two. You bring your crew. I'll bring me and my amigo, one friend, and then we'll see who the basketball king is.

Whether it is nobler in the soul to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Pass me the rock, ball is life, and the court is my castle when I'm the king.

And one, and one, my kingdom for and one.

I'm gonna tame this shrew.

Dribble, dribble, dribble, dribble, swoosh!

Oh, you guys, I just had a Midsummer Night's dream. Adal, wake up, you gotta host a podcast. I'm Adal Rifai. Hi, I'm GBC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And the three of us are bards of riddles.

We went to theater school this week, could you tell?

I went to basketball camp.

Wait. Oh, shoot. They were in the same building. GBCU went to the wrong place.

You kept holding the basketball like a skull and people kept stealing it from you. Too dunk or not too dunk. That is a steal.

That is the dung-tion.

Alas, poor three-point. I knew him well. Hey, everybody. This is Hey Riddle Riddle. If you're just tuning in, you missed a whole great Shakespeare bit, so rewind it.

Yeah, you missed the opening. Rewind two minutes ago. You're fine.

You're fine. Let's jump in here.

How are you doing this? You should at least listen to the Heap Song. I'm curious now if we should stage, for our listeners, maybe in 2022, if we should stage an all basketball hamlet.

Okay, walk me through this.

Okay, it's called Dunklet. Or it's still Hamlets, but it's separated after the M. So it stands for hard as a motherfucker let. And this is a guy who drives the whole like it's nobody's fucking in business.

There was an all basketball Othello that was made and I think Julia Stiles was in it. Did you guys remember this movie?

It was called... Yes. I think it was Julia Stiles.

Oh, I didn't mean to do that.

I didn't mean to do that. I saw that, yes.

I don't remember.

I only remember Julia Stiles. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Slamlet. It was right there. Slamlet.

Okay, well is Slamlet going to take place in a basketball court or in a theater stage that is dressed up like a basketball court?

Okay, picks up Penn, writes entire play. Okay, so Slamlet actually takes place at a poetry slam. So it's a poetry slam, but there's one hard pivot. Just abandoning the basketball thing completely. No, Erin's right. Jeremy Pivot is in this. So Jeremy Pivot is in this. He plays an agent. He's a basketball agent. So there's this woman who comes to a poetry slam because she thinks it's like a dunk contest and she totally misunderstands. And she falls in love with another woman who's reading her poetry slam. So it's called Slamlet because the woman who's doing a poetry slam Let's, slamlet, let's the woman who's a basketball player go up and she doesn't know what she's doing but she brings out this hacky sack and she starts to say hacky sack.

Okay, so Adal's never read Hamlet.

Hacky sack. Don't let it drop. Don't let it drop. And she wins a poetry slam and then she slam dunks.

Where's the ghost at the beginning?

Hey Riddle.

Houston, we have a Shakespeare Festival. They do two Shakespeare shows every summer and then they perform them outdoors and I was the assistant director that summer and the summer that I was the assistant director they did Othello and Taming of the Shrew and the Othello that we did was set in Othello like normal Shakespeare times. Pretty like standard.

I do appreciate that you say Othello.

It was great. One of the guys from The Wire was Othello and it was really, really fun. But then the other show we did was a 80s, 80s, 80s taming of the shrew. 80s. 80s. 80s.

So you perform, she's on there.

80s. Yeah I didn't, I wasn't in it but I watched it. 80s. But it was the weirdest juxtaposition. I would like wake up for work one day. It was one director and she was very serious and then we would go and do Othello and the next day it would be like... It was very, very strange. But I ended up really liking both productions and the taming of the shrew one was super surprising. They did that taming scene, the one that's really, really famous. They did it in a boxing ring.

Oh.

It was really cool. Interesting. Very cool. Yeah, I kind of like when people do thematic Shakespeare. They're like, it's this. It's Romeo and Juliet under the water.

Just a bunch of 19 year old theater students just on the top of the water.

They're all in those full divers things and then they have a guy doing cue cards with like the words that they're saying just rotating them in front as they're like moving around and like diver regalia.

I went to Illinois State University and they have a big Shakespeare Festival down there every year. And one year while I was in, and I was never a part of it because I went home like a real kid during the summer, and one year they did Romeo and Juliet, but it was all like, they were all in zoot suits. So it was like, I don't know if that's 20s or 40s, like gangsters, but they all wore zoot suits and it was like, they're from different like, I guess it was a hit, but I think it was people coming in from the suburbs being like, now that's theater. And it's all children too.

So it's like, let's get these children and put them in big zoot suits and have them do Shakespeare.

So I guess my question for our listeners is what Shakespeare show would you set in a different time and then tell us the show and the time? And I want it to be a terrible idea. I don't want a single good idea.

Hashtag Shake It Up Spear. And I guess also try to work in like a pun name for the play, right?

Like Slamlet. And I want to be clear on something. If somebody mocks up Hamlet, slam dunking a skull, and it says Slamlet in big letters, that will be my first tattoo. I will get that as a tattoo, Slamlet. If you're the person who makes it, you pick where it goes.

I will say, and I will say, you see me start drawing. If you mock up Hamlet holding poor Yorick's skull, and that skull is eating a full Denny's Grand Slam breakfast, and underneath it it says Grand Slamlet, I will tattoo that on Adal. Too far, too far.

Someone makes a poster that says come on and slamlet and welcome to the jamlet. I will tattoo it on JPC's enemy.

Okay, I need you two to be honest. I need you two to be honest. I need you two to be fully honest. This is the first time I've ever asked for your sincere friendship. Whoa, okay.

Yes, you're too tall. Oh god, I knew it.

Sorry, I tripped because I'm so tall. I'm fine. If I get a tattoo, okay, be honest. If I get a tattoo of Hamlet slam dunking York's skull into my asshole, Will you look me in the eyes ever again?

No, but I'll look you in the asshole.

Excuse me, my asshole is down here.

Adal, I definitely think this is the right time in your life to start getting joke tattoos. I think like this is the perfect age for where now if you start getting a bunch of joke tattoos people will really be like he's not okay. Okay, right? No, he does a Riddle podcast. He's also like a little badger. He's a comedy badger.

He's fine. I'm a comedy badger. Gotta love me. Yeah, baby. Erin brings up a great point where she said it's Monday, which is another movie I'm working on, which is Garfield doing Scarface. It's called Scarfield. And it's Garfield as this drug lord kingpin and he's snorting lasagna.

You know what, you guys, before you tell us what he says, just a quick interim, other people had business meetings today at their work. Go ahead Adal, what did he say? No, no, no say it. Knowing that other people had to wake up at 8am for a business meeting, please tell me what he said.

Adal, I love it. I think you can make it as a Hollywood pitch man, I think just maybe 25% crazier. Just tweak it a little more. It's a little crazier.

I want James to host a show on HBO called Pitch Perfect and it's him coaching people throughout how to pitch something and then they pitch it and they're like kicked out of Hollywood and he's like hey I don't know what I'm doing.

Then I'm like hey asshole I did you a favor. You don't want to be in this business? It's psychopaths in this business. I eat eggs every day.

JVC, if I went to your pitch meeting workshop, Pitch Perfect, and I just go, alright, I'm gonna go into this movie studio and then I'm gonna throw a baseball at them as fast as I can. Is that a good pitch?

Yes, but I would follow it up, throw a baseball at them as fast as you can, then a wad of $20 bills and say, Moneyball 2!

Who's buying?

I just watched Moneyball last night. That's very weird you bring it up. I think it just, cause it just hit Netflix. I think it just hit Netflix cause another friend of mine just watched Moneyball.

Was it a hit it back?

Yeah, no, it didn't stand up for itself. Before we lose the thread, I do want to say we have our, I think our second ever Hey Riddle tattoo. Speaking of tattoos, somebody got a Puzbot tattoo. They didn't say we could say their name, so I don't want to put them on blast.

I guess the only thing I have to say is, what have you done?

I think it's great.

I've never had a joke tattoo. One good time a guy that I worked with got blackout drunk and he came into work the next Monday with a little tattoo on his leg, like on his, what's it called, not heel, but where the leg meets the foot. Fuck me.

The ankle? The ankle! Jesus Christ. No, no, no, hold on, stop. Casey, Casey, delete all this audio. This is unusable. JPC is clearly drunk. No that's not funny.

With X's over its eyes like it was drunk holding a bottle of whiskey with a Santa Claus hat on it and it was it was the summer it was like August and I was like why did you get that and he was like I don't remember it I was blacked out my friends would tell me I dragged them to a tattoo parlor I demanded the guy gave me this tattoo and he's like normally he wouldn't do it but since it was like on my ankle and I was so I was so like clear-minded that this is the tattoo I wanted and I was like that's insane but

I thought it was such a funny looking tattoo, a little drunk cartoon Christmas penguin. If somebody came in, if I was a tattoo artist and someone came in clearly drunk and they're like, give me a tattoo where my foot meets my leg and make it a little parrot with a quote that says, don't talk down to me. Like I would not, I would be like, I'd say take the seat. Sir, please come back tomorrow. Where the foot meets the leg.

I have a new thought about a tattoo. I really want to get a tattoo, but I've decided in my life I will get any tattoo as long as a non-A-list celebrity is giving me that tattoo. And they can do whatever they want wherever they want.

Non-A-list, okay.

So like when someone was like, what is that weird like pile of garbage on your shoulder?

And I'll be like, it's Tori's spelling, gave it to me. Devin Sawall went to work.

So if you are not an A-list celebrity, you can tattoo me.

I would love it if a celebrity gave you a tattoo, or I guess it would need to be, it was either someone who used to be A-list and was washed up, or someone who gave you a tattoo that was retroactively okay because they had not become A-list, or they had like left the A-list. I'm trying to think of who that would be. She's like famously C-list, right? Like that's her whole bread and butter is that she's

Ooh, we're circling something. I need, who do I need?

Well we're circling something and that's that we do a riddle podcast and normally it is fine and people forgive us if we think around for 20 to 45 minutes but we're hanging on by a thread.

I literally don't even know who Old Man Puzzles is.

Well Erin it's you. It's Yorick. It is me. I am Old Man Puzzles today so I do have some riddles. When this is coming out, we've said it several times that it's Monday, but canonically we all know it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday and it's whatever you're listening to this. We just did, not too long ago, a livestream show. And the livestream show went really well. I think a lot of people came, like a thousand people came. It was awesome. Which is more than a thousand, so fuck me I guess. But it was very fun and a lot of people submitted riddles and I asked for people to submit riddles. We, I prepared riddles for that show. I was in charge of doing it and we like, time flew. I looked down at my watch and we had like been going for 50 minutes. Kind of like what we just did here with a bullshit for the first 50 minutes of the podcast. I had fun. It was super fun. I felt really, really bad.

So wait, you're not investing in Slamlet? Oh buddy, nobody is. You're gonna die on the streets.

I want to do these characters, but we gotta do Riddles.

But I felt bad because so many people submitted to Riddles to that livestream show and we didn't get to like any of them. We did like two real quick. So at the beginning of today's episode I wanted to, well we're out of time so we actually won't get to this, but what I wanted to do was I wanted to get some listeners submitted riddles from the people who submitted for the live show and do them on the show. So of course, I'm kidding, we will do one. This first one is from Erin. She heard. Oh, Erin. But it's, no, it is... I don't know how to email. Not me. Specifically not our Erin. I assume Erin Neville, so... I'm not sure if I've told you this, also by the way, but in my Twitch stream there is another Erin, whose name starts with a K, it's like Erin Keif, and all the time people think that she is you, and they start talking in the Twitch stream about like, oh my god you're so great, I love you so much, and then she has to be like, oh no, I'm not that Erin, I'm like a different Erin, but it's always so funny when it happens.

Oh my gosh. Okay, well I hope she's not saying anything fucking weird. Erin, Keif, please, please don't say anything like really like...

She's never pretending to be you, so I think it's fine, but it's just very funny when a confused person comes in and they're like, Erin's here, and I'm like, no, no, no.

I also love the idea that they think that I'm in your Twitch stream. They're like, I gotta get more of that JPC.

I've been in this Twitch stream several times.

No, your Twitch stream is very, very good, and I can't recommend it enough.

So this is a different Erin, it is not that Erin, and it is not our Erin. It says, love the podcast, here's the riddle. Oh Riddy, I'm sorry, I fucked it up. Thank you. Riddle. To travelers and wanderers, safe passage I will lint. I have been called a work of art, but only where I int. Only where I end?

End. Oh, end. That's the tree people from Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. Um, two wanderers. So this is like Abbott and Costello?

Two travelers and wanderers. T-O, not T-W-O. To travelers and wanderers, safe passage I will end. I have been called a work of art, but only where I end. A bridge made of... Horizon? Matisse. It's not bridge, it's not horizon. No, I think, I don't know, I don't know if Adal's closest with bridge, but closer than I guess horizon. It's not train, no. Travelers and Wanderers.

I have been called a work of art but only where I end. So work of art where I end. So I'm guessing, Erin, let's team up. Classic team up. Oh yeah, you guys have never teamed up before. I'm guessing art. Oh I love this combo. Erin and Adal, this can't work.

We're standing back to back and we're crossing our arms.

He's so much taller than you. Please Adarin. Guys I'm working on it.

Too tall.

Adarin. I'm guessing the word ends in art. So I'm a piece of art but only where I end. Fart.

Hey, canonically the only word that ends in art.

In my defense, this is the first time I've ever guessed Fart. You two have guessed Fart over 6,000 times. Judges?

Yeah, but she's Fart behind you. Wow, she's correct. That is correct. This is Erin's first and only time guessing Fart on the podcast. It's episode 118.

And we should mention behind JPC is Yankees player Erin Judge and famous 80s actor Judge Reinhold. So those are the judges he's

Oh, you can't see because it's zoomed. Judge Dredd is also here.

Hey guys, your brains work so fast. Why didn't you do something helpful with it?

That's Mike Judge, creator of Cinnabon Scream.

You guys could have done anything. You could have been like emergency room surgeons and you're doing this. Okay, sorry.

JBC and I invented the cure for the common cold, but guess what? A teacher already invented it. It's called airborne and it was invented 12 years earlier.

It cures it?

So we went into a deep spiral. We went into a deep spiral and we decided to start a podcast.

Can we hear this one more time? To travelers and wanderers, safe passage I will lend, I have been called a work of art but only where I end. Is this like a hotel lobby? Oh, it is not. But around about three, you gotta clear the lobby. Oh, we can't see our Kelly songs.

Was Adal right with it ending with A.R.T.?

No, he was not. He was way off.

But you said I was close with Bridge? With Bridge, yes. Is it like a tent? It's not a tent. We have one more hint. Tightrope.

Passport. It's like a closing.

So the reason that you are close with bridge is because a bridge is something that people can travel on or walk across. This is definitely going to involve walking.

Oh. Path.

It's not a path. Oh, now I'm here for Chinese food. Two travelers and a lot of others.

See, if path is a terrible end, I have been called a work of art, but not only where I end. Is it like a mirage or something? Is it like an oasis? No. These are really common in your life. Two dying is gonna be the dying, then I'm gonna bring it back to you.

JVC, I think I might need one more hint, and I'm really, really, really, really sorry.

If you've been outside today, chances are you've been on one of these.

Bold of you to take a time outside. Skateboard. Wheels.

Skateboard.

No. No. If you've been outside today, chances are you've been on a sidewalk.

Adal, it is a sidewalk.

Shell Silver Scene, baby.

I have been called a work of art, but only where I end. Thank you so much, Erin, for submitting that riddle. I hope that you are a fan of the show and listen to the show and not just that live stream, or you'll never fucking hear this.

Adal. Here's something cool, Erin. Erin, the person who submitted this riddle, We're like 105,000 episodes in, and there's still good riddles to be found. I really enjoyed that riddle.

Yeah, I think a lot of people, maybe Erin made that. I don't know that she said specifically if she did, but could have. I want you to have seen. Oh, yes, I'm so sorry.

I forgot what you means on this show. Thank you so much. JPC and Erin, you two are a, you're sort of like New York, you're like a New York elite couple. You have a brownstone. You're living off your family's wealth. You're a married couple, but both of your families are wealthy. Sure. But you rarely go outside. You usually go straight from your mansion into a limo. But for the first time in forever, you find yourself on the sidewalk and you're thinking it's like a piece of art.

Sweetheart, come quickly.

Yes, let me just put on my scarf. It's not cold, but I'm going to wear it.

You wouldn't be caught dead without wearing that. Come look at this.

What is this?

What the blaze is? Oh, I love this. I must have it.

I know. Well, I was looking for a price tag on it and I couldn't see.

When we go to these art shows, they usually have the name of the artist. Excuse me, little boy. Are you a child?

What do you want, lady?

Oh, never mind.

Get out of the fucking sidewalk.

He's much taller than us. I'm not sure why.

Come on, I'm working hard. We live from a distance. Oh, let him go, let him go.

You know what? Who drew this magnificent, is it chalk art?

You know what? We have to tell one of our friends about this. They're going to want to put it in the gallery. I just don't. Do I call Chelsea's in Brooklyn? Do I call Brooklyn's in Manhattan? Or do I call Manhattan's in Chelsea?

I call them all. Get them all over here. Excuse me! City of New York! Who made this gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous chalk art on this? What is this called?

Shhh!

Shut the fuck up! Who is that?

Shut the fuck up. I love that. It's like Banksy. It's big. It's loud.

It's out there. We need someone strong to pick us up.

This is a police officer. This is someone who could help. Excuse me. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You're under arrest. Okay, he must be on break. This next one is from John from Indianapolis. Whoa. Another person who is the name of a host of this podcast. Wow.

I can't wait for the third one.

It's just you and that guy you saw online that one time. Wild. Wild. I'm at the start of stupor that ends in a drink and at the start of four pillars to make people think. Some say I'm bad luck and I'm not very bright. Don't try to touch me. I'll attack you on sight. Some say I'm standoffish or act somewhat cross, but you would be too if you shat in a box. Jesus.

Pretzel.

Wait, hold on.

Is it Pretzel Jesus? Yeah, you don't want boring old Jesus. I gotta say the quickest of scenes. Erin and I are devout followers of Jesus. Jesus, of course, was crucified. This is before he, again, I don't know religion very well. This is before he like rolls away that boulder and does whatever. So we think Jesus has died and new on the scene that's emerged is Pretzel Jesus, played by JPC. Got it. I don't think we'll ever find another savior.

I'm like really sad.

At the funeral, did you see his mom crying? I went over to talk to her and she walked away. It's so sad.

Yeah, I think that this is, and I know that like everyone thinks a death has a big impact, but I have like a feeling that like... I don't know if you saw this.

Yeah, it's absolutely bummer city about Jesus. Can I have some nacho cheese, cinnamon sugar? Who's this? It's tough cookies about that good guy. He had a lot of good ideas. Can I offer you some big hunky pieces of salt?

It is tough cookies.

What's your name friend? My name is Kickflip Ollie Twist. Grab the skateboard, put it behind my back.

What is that?

Is that Greek? My name is Pretzel Jesus. I'm just like Jesus, but I come in tons of fun flavors.

Sorry, I just got hit in the head with a skateboard. Did you say nacho cheese, cinnamon, sugar?

Stephanie, are we in a commercial? Ow! Stephanie? Hey, your name is fucking Pretzel Jesus.

I was named by God, my man. Anyways, I've come to deliver y'all. Taste buds.

Hey Pretzels, Nacho Jesus. We're in mourning right now.

Nacho regular Jesus. Pretzel Jesus. Yeah, we can't have pretzels during mourning. We can't have pretzels during the evening. We can't have pretzels at supper time.

Hey I understand man, I don't want to beef it. Why do we do this? Why do we do this? You take some nacho cheese, you take some cinnamon sugar, you take a big old hunk of piece of salt. Call me in the morning, I'm pretzel Jesus, I wind all the way around town. You know where I'm at. I'm at the temple flipping tables, I'm at the mound giving out fish. I'm Pretzel Jesus!

Pretzel Jesus, you're just giving us a bunch of condiments and not really anything to eat them on.

Stephanie, Stephanie. What are we, we just have all this fucking nuts and cheese and cinnamon sugar. Hey, I just saw, I just saw down, I just looked down. That's a snake in pants. How? Oh, so you notice the word? That's the devil.

Okay, okay. How? How are snakes in pants? No, all eyes on you bud. You said snake in pants.

Snake in pants.

Make it make sense.

Scene. I just walk right out.

How far off the snake does the pants go?

Snake in pants. That's incorrect. That is a scene, but you guys do- What are we fucking even talking about?

You gotta get the riddle. You gotta get the riddle.

I'm so sorry. I have to just stop. I have to hold a vigil of appreciation for the fact that somebody during Jesus' funeral comes up and says, tough cookies. It's Pretzel Jesus.

He's a little bit twisted. P.J. P.J.

The Riddle, John's Riddle. I am Catholic. I know this show doesn't indicate that, but... Can we hear the riddle one more time?

I'm at the start of stupor that ends in a drink. So hold on, is this like ST? Is this something that starts with ST?

It doesn't start with ST. I think you're on the right track. And the start of four pillars to make people think.

Okay, hold on. Four pillars. So Erin, let's team up again. Hold on, I want to work solo. No.

No, come on, I need a teammate. Hey JBC, do you want to pair up?

I can't, I know the answer.

Okay, can I join a group of two? Can it be a third?

Sorry Erin, all the groups have already been taken. You're going to have to work alone.

Or you can work with teacher. I'm going to have to dissect this frog by myself and then I'll do the project.

Are four pillars like earth, wind, fire, water kind of thing? I think the four pillars, Adal, specifically for you, you're not going to get the four pillars one. You're going to waste a lot of energy on the four pillars.

Yeah, Adal, you won't get it.

No, I'll get it. Now I'm determined to get it. Is it like honesty, trust, friendship?

No. I think it has to do with Catholicism, so I definitely don't think you're going to get it. Some say I'm bad luck if I'm not very bright. Don't try to touch me. I'll attack you on sight. Some say I'm standoffish or act somewhat cross, but you would be too if you shat in a box. It's a shot in a box. I honestly think the thing about shitting in a box is the one clue that you don't even need the other clues. Is it an animal? Is it a mouse?

It's not a mouse. It might be an animal. So Erin, you said one time, and I'm sorry to put you on blast. I'm sorry to put you on blast. Erin, you said that one time in Boston, during a St. Patrick's Day parade, you got so drunk that you shitted in a mailbox.

Well, it was dressed to them.

You put a stamp on your pile of shit?

I'm not going to prevent someone from getting their mail.

That's true. That's a federal crime in a box.

I've actually, I don't think I've ever gotten, this is a, I know, don't come for me. I've never gotten drunk on St. Patrick's Day in Boston. That's never happened.

You're correct. No one's going to come for you. They're going to applaud you. Is this a living thing? It has to be a living thing that shits in a box.

It's an animal. Well, it's an animal, so we don't fit in. No. A cat.

Yes, it is a cat.

It is?

It is a cat, correct. I'm at the start of stupor that ends in a drink. The stupor that ends in a drink would be catatonic, so cat, and the start of four pillars to make people think that is a catechism. So yeah, so those are the two answers. Thank you so much, Indianapolis John.

Holy shit, that was actually amazing.

My uncle died of a catechism, yeah, clot in the brain. I want to see a scene. Erin, you are Schrodinger, and you have a friend over, and this is before your Schrodinger's cat theory. You had another theory, which is you put a cat in a box, and until you open it you don't know whether or not it took a shit. And you invited over a neighbor to posit this theory.

Oh, hey, just in time.

Oh, yeah, Shrode, I just got your, I got your mimeograph. Thank you so much for inviting me over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I come in?

Does my house smell like normal, like how normally, how bad it smells or like, is this like, especially bad?

Can I, can I come in?

Yeah, but like first, when you walk in, I need first impressions of smell. Like, does it smell like my shit or does it smell like...

Um, you know what? I just remembered that I am busy today.

Come on, man, please. I don't think so. Man, come on, please.

Hey, uh, look, Jeff, uh, can I level with you? Yeah. Everybody in the neighborhood, we're close-knit, we're a tight community, we all like each other a lot. Nobody wants to come over to your house, man.

What do you mean?

You're always doing experiments.

Yeah, my experiments, my theories.

They always make your house stink to high heaven and everybody's sick of it. Everybody gets tricked and trapped into coming into your house. I can smell from your stoop. It smells like cat shit in there, man. I don't know what you got going on.

This is literally my last shit experiment. Come on man, please. I'll let you shoot a bow and arrow at that box. No questions asked.

Come on. Jeff, I don't want to. You let Nick down the block kick the box last week. He got his boot covered in cat shit. It's always cat shit in there. Still won't come out. Yeah, Nick, we're sorry about your boot, man. Burn it under more water.

Okay, no, no. Come in. This is not even about a shit one. Okay, fine. This is not even a shit one.

I'll come in. Okay, I will say. As soon as I step in here, Jeff, it smells like absolute shit. It smells like cat shit.

Soon as he steps in, it smells like... You shouldn't be writing that down.

No one's ever gonna publish this. I don't know what you think.

Are you sure? I'm gonna be somebody. Who are you? Who are you even? What are you?

And we cut to JPC at his other neighbor's house. Oh, thank you for coming over. So if you just walk through the door, come on in. And as you notice when you come in, a bell is going to ring. And if you look at my dog, you'll see what he does when the bell rings. Pavi, I gotta be honest with you.

I gotta be honest with you. It's a tight-knit community. The neighbors here, we all know each other. We, you know, have potlucks. Every time anyone comes over to your house, you ring the bell and your dog tries to fucking hump him. It's not funny, it's not clever. It's a policy trick. Every time a bell rings, my dog tries to get fucked. Pavi, you laugh about it, you think it's so funny, it's bad for the dog, it's bad for the people.

Hey, hey Pavi, I got your back.

I'm here. Thank you.

You know what?

You and Fred Schrodinger deserve each other.

Okay, Freud. Go take a fucking walk. Loser.

I will take a walk to my mom's house.

I mean... So I just had to look it up because Jeff Schrodinger was so funny. I had to look up his real name. His real name is Erwin Rudolph Joseph Alexander Schrodinger. He was named after every reindeer.

His name is my name too.

On Erwin and Rudolph and Joseph Alexander.

Okay, well that, just because we got to that reindeer break, we're gonna go break some reindeer legs until they pay off that Christmas candy. So we are gonna go, we will be right back after these commercial interruptions. Coming to theaters this fall. Slamlet. Fall has been canceled.

Hey kids, your normal college teacher is gone, so I'm a cool substitute college teacher. How are we doing today? You mean professor? Huh? No, I'm a teacher. Hey, who here is feeling anxious? Any anxiety going on? Yeah, we're all college students, so yes. Okay, any chronic pain or trouble sleeping or studying once a week?

I was just saying that. It's just like a lot of like, I have a hard time falling asleep and like to slow down my mind a second and my body a second to go to sleep.

This is a World War II history class.

What's going on? No, let me just take out my guitar and I want to sing a little song to you. It's a song about a product I use and live by called Feels. Have you heard of Feels?

Yeah, it's premium CBD delivered to your doorstep. No, no, no. Sing it. I mean, this is a World War II history class. I feel like I shouldn't have to. Look, all I know about feels is that it helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. It's easy to take. You just place a few drops of feels under your tongue and you feel the difference in minutes. That's all I know.

That's right. It's also delivered directly to your door.

Um, professor, teacher, I'm new to CBD. Is there like a hotline to help guide me through my experience? Like I really want to try it. I'm excited.

Please call me Hunter. That's not my name, but aren't we all gatherers and hunters from long ago?

Uh, anyway, Feels works naturally to help you feel better. There's no high hangover or addiction and you can join the Feels community to get Feels delivered to your door every month. You'll save money on every order and you can pause or cancel any time.

Now that we're talking about it, I'm remembering that I use fields all the time. I really, really love it. I even have some and I'll show them as a prop next to my computer and I take a little bit before I can get it out.

This is a Zoom class.

And I take it a little bit before bed every night and it helps so much.

Well, if you become a member today, you can get 50% off your first order just because you're in this class. What is it again? Music history? No, it's a World War II history class. Well, you're just going to go to fields.com slash riddle and you get 50% off your first order with free shipping. That's F-E-A-L-S dot com slash riddle to become a member, a part of this class even, and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping. Fields dot com slash riddle, yes?

This is the acting, this is my acting professor. Okay, I get it. This is amazing.

December 7th, 1941. A day that shall live in infamy. Yay! CBD Day! And we're back.

Okay!

No, shh, shh, shh. Erin, Erin.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Let's put his hand in water. Wait, let's put his hand in piss and then he'll spit up water. You guys need some piss?

He'll like it too much. Can we just move on?

Wait, look at him. He's lying on his back pissing into his mouth. He loves this.

Every house needs a water feature.

It's impossible to bully me.

Just a constant stream of pee. Very soothing.

Let's go kick the shit out of that kid beating the shit out of himself.

Wait.

I won't say who, but a friend of ours once was, when he was way younger, when he was like 12 or something, he woke up one day and was like basically paralyzed and the doctors couldn't figure out what was going on. So for a long time, they thought he like wouldn't walk again. And so he was like, he couldn't do anything. So he was laying on the couch and his brother had to like help him pee and like pull down his pants and take out his, you know, and help him pee. And one time his brother started to do it, but then like got ugged out because his brother was like 10 or something. And so he let go and our friend started to pee and it shot, he was on his back. So it shot up and hit him in the mouth. And when he tells this story, he's like, I'll never forget. It was the hottest thing I've ever felt.

Wait, like temperature?

You could hear a knock on your door. I've sued you and that is you're being served right now.

You said I could use a fake name. He changed some names in genitalia.

Yeah, absolutely. I can't believe you made us listen to that story.

I'm so sorry, but I think about it at least 10 times a day.

Adal, I've listened to a bunch of stories about people peeing in their mouth, you know, gravity boot situation. You know, there's a lot of stories that I've heard in my life about that. That one, top five.

Yep, yep, very great. Speaking of top five, I think we've done three riddles. Can we get at least a five?

Yeah, this one's coming from James. This was sent in by James in the chat. It was James in Space. So I don't know if James Heehan uses that.

James in Space.

But this is from James. Okay, cool. So James says that he challenged himself to come up with some poetic riddles. There is within me silent you. That is the letter U. There is within me silent you. Of course, without me silent you. Why are you? Not remembered when I'm wet. Get me dry. You'll be upset. Under a roof I'm well encased. Enjoying my work is a matter of taste. What am I?

Tongue.

Clitoris. Erin's correct, it's the tongue. The clitoris of the mouth.

Ew.

Ew. You know, I've been eating food for 28 years. I still can't find the tongue. I don't know if it exists.

I think it's a rumor. I think it's a... Yes, Erin, it is the tongue. Wow, you got that really fast. What gave it away? Not gave it away, but clued you in.

The you thing so I'm like oh where I was the letter you being and then you don't notice it when it's wet but when it's dry it's bad.

The thing that James also said was that he added an added little bonus thing that I think you'd have to see this written out to get. But it's the first letter of every line spells out tongue. So there's six lines.

That was great.

Thank you so much James. Jeff, Jesus Christ.

Thank you so much James.

Yes. We don't need to see it. It makes sense when you say it.

Adal is salty, much like Pretzel Jesus, because JPC won't invest in his movie.

Uh, God, a regular Pretzel Jesus over here. I can talk to my Auntie Anne's. This next one comes from Charlie. Uh, he him. Charlie says you can read my name. I don't care. I love it. Charlie recently found an old riddle book based on a series of unfortunate events and he thought he'd share some with us. He says I don't think you have to be familiar with the book or the show or the movie or anything. But if you are, bonus points to you. Here we go. So this first one is called Enignatic Enigma. I love riddles with titles. Something true about me. Something just to share. You're chasing an actor with a tattoo of an eye on his ankle. Devin Sawa. Now I read this and I get the word fucking ankle. Jesus Christ, it was right there the whole time. I should have read this a day ago. You're chasing an actor with a tattoo of an eye on his ankle through the hinter lens, but you lose sight of him. A dark cloud appears of her head. Moments later, you pass a sign that says, proceed with caution. You stop just in time. Had you taken one more step, you would have plunged to your death. 30 yards away, the villain stands safely on the other side of a deep canyon. He waves and smiles at you with his shiny eyes. You note that he does not have a long pole, a ladder, a motorcycle, a grappling hook, or any other device capable of spanning the chasm. Please explain how this despicable person got away. Celebrity is Air Jordan. He jumped.

Let's count Olaf.

Oh my god, Adal, that is great. Is that the Jim Carrey?

Yeah, Jim Carrey played him in a movie and then they made a Netflix series about it where Neil Patrick Harris played him and the Netflix series is so good. Is it good? Yeah, I'm a massive, massive Lemony Snake fan like the way it's written. My mom is a librarian and those books growing up are huge in my house and I've never... How big? So, so big. Adal big. Tall, tall, tall. Eight feet tall? Come on guys. The new series I've never been more jealous of. I've never wanted to be in any TV show more than that.

I've never... I own all the books, but I've never read them.

I love it.

Are they weird flecks?

Oh, the Lemony Snicket books? Those books of kids? I own them all, but I've never read them. I've never read any book I own.

I was a really melancholy kid and they really spoke to me. Anything that's like, yeah, the world is terrible and kids are smart. It's all about kids are smarter than you give them credit for and it's just so, so, so, so good.

Well, hopefully it prepped a generation for 2020.

I mean, that's one of those Harry Potter books, and the whole point of those books, as far as I can tell, is Ron sucks.

For sure. But, uh, and the guy, just the casting in that TV show is so good. Um, Joan Cusack's in it. You guys, it's amazing. The Cues!

The Cues! Uh, Erin, does that help you at all with this riddle?

Not really. No.

Can you read it again? Does the tattoo of an eye have anything to do with it? I don't know. What is that? Is that from the book?

Yeah. He has a tattoo of his, of like an eye on his ankle and it's like a hint for the same thing.

Oh wait. I think I know the answer. Yeah. What do you got? I mean, I don't know how to articulate this. A chasm doesn't go all the way across the world. So at some point there would be like a way you can run around to the other side of the chasm.

That's a good insight. That is not correct though. The villain did go directly across the chasm.

Oh, gotcha. Yep. There's plexiglass over top of it, like that side of the Grand Canyon.

30 yards away, on the other side of a deep canyon, waves and smiles, but there's no, he doesn't have anything, a long pole, a ladder, a motorcycle, a grappling hook, or any other device capable of spinning the chasm.

Can I just recommend anyone who works at a beach, if you're noticing, I mean obviously when it's safe, if you're noticing that there's not a lot of foot traffic at the beach, put up a sign that says waves and smiles. You're going to double your customers.

That's great. He has wings all of a sudden. It's a water slide all of a sudden down the hill because of the rain.

Did he go down? Like there was a rope and he climbed down, ran across and then climbed back up? No.

Was it a ladder?

It was not that. It was not a ladder. There is no ladder. It has nothing to do with weather. Is the chasm like two feet down? No, it's deep. It's deep. It's deep.

Rolling the deep.

Can you give us a hint?

So this is a villain. It's dastardly and clever what this villain did. But I think honestly, having it be a bad guy is also helpful for getting the answer. And technically, you have guessed this answer for a different riddle that you got it wrong for.

Oh, he was a... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A... A Christopher Nolan film.

His whole thing is disguises, though, in the series. He has a different disguise.

It doesn't have anything to do with disguises. I have seen the trailer for the show and that is true. Give us a hint. I did. You have given the answer to this riddle in the very first riddle that we did on the show today. And it was wrong. Oh, a bridge? A bridge. So what about the bridge? So there's a bridge. There's a bridge over the chasm. There's not a bridge. There's no bridge over the chasm. But the villain is on the other side smiling. What?

I don't know. Hey Riddle. You know what's in my head all the time? What's that? The magnetic fields guy? I think someone wrote an album based on the series of unfortunate event books and there was a different song for every book and there's a song in it about that villain and it is in my head like I'm humming it all over our house all the time and it's so so good and if anyone else knows this please let me know because I would love to have you message me about it but it's Like, if you see him count to zero, scream and run away, run run run run run run or die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die It's a Bond song by Adal.

Adal does all the Bond songs. You know what song I've had running through my head constantly for no reason? And usually I do it with Santa Baby where somebody will say something and I'm like... But now for no reason at all, everything I hear sounds like the Paul Simon song Kodachrome. So the other day Gemma was like, can you help me find my phone? And I was like, find my phone, gives us nice bright colors. So I've done it like 50 times this week. It really sucks.

I can't wait for the hate tweets and hate Instagram messages to come in of the people who get that stuck in their head now.

Sorry. Sorry.

I want to see a little scene. In this scene, Adal, you're going to be playing a dastardly villain. Erin and I are kid detectives. We are chasing you down. You just crossed over some train tracks and you think that they are impassable and that you have foiled us.

I think you'll find that this is as far as you go. Why aren't you stopping? Stop walking. Stop walking.

You're gonna slam into it.

You're gonna slam into the tracks.

Is there like a force field?

No, I'm putting my hand over it.

You can... Oh wait, there must be like a lady tied to the tracks, like a... Oh, that would have been so much better.

Well, you're putting your hand over it, but if you pull back your hand, I think you'll find it's seven. No, it's not.

I just pulled it back.

This guy clearly focused two hours on his mustache this morning.

Becky, hold on. I use only duck fat to style my butt. Dr. Chameleon, Dr. Chameleon. What do you think this is? This train track? What do you think a train track is?

I'm sorry, I just arrived here. Who's Dr. Chameleon? You can tell I'm not him because of my top hat and two monocles.

Dr. Chameleon. Kidding it was me, Dr. Chameleon.

Dr. Chameleon, we know it was you. Every character that you do has a huge handlebar.

Yeah, and you also didn't even turn around. You put on the props in front of us and it looked like it was a struggle.

Oh, sorry. I just got here. I don't know who you're talking about, but as you can see, I'm wearing a top hat and two molecules and a dress. Yeah, you're still wearing the same thing. You're not even changing outfits. And I'm from Georgia and I sure am confused.

Kidding I'm Dr. Chameleon.

Yes, we know who you are. You're Dr. Chameleon. That's not a dress, it's a jumper. They're two different... Dr. Chameleon.

Dr. Chameleon. Do you need a head start or something? Do you want us to give you 30 minutes? This is brutal.

I don't need a head start because as you can see, even though you may be upset about it, I'm on the other side of train tracks.

There's no way you can get me. Do you think it's like a bad luck thing? We could very easily just walk across.

Okay, I'm literally handcuffing him right now.

Come on, come on. I'm handcuffing him to the train tracks.

How did you get across? I must know. Take me away. Do what you will. Take away all my disguises. Both monocles and my top hat. But I must know. I must know. How did you get across the train tracks?

We'll tell you, but you're going to tell us how you don't have the worst headache ever by holding in two monocles all day long.

And with the extra head weight of that mustache and your big ponytail, I feel like you're constantly counterbalancing yourself.

And the top hat.

I'll let you in on a secret, my dears. The reason I don't have a headache from wearing two monocles is because I'm blind.

What? The muscles are still... Here comes the train. Let's just go.

Here comes the train.

Let's go. Okay. Good luck, Dr. Chameleon. Wait. Untie me. Untie me. Oh my god, there's someone in the middle of the train tracks. Oh, no, it's just Dr. Chameleon. We're all good. Train keep going.

I love Dr. Chameleon.

Favorite new character. Okay, this one's called Terminal Trivia, also from Charlie. Would you rather a poisonous viper attack you or a boa constrictor? Would I rather a poisonous, what was it, viper? Would you rather a poisonous viper attack you or a boa constrictor?

Boa constrictor. Is this like... No, there's no such thing as a poisonous viper.

Is this a riddle? No, Erin, hold on, Adal, I need to address this real quick. Erin, there's absolutely such a thing as a poisonous viper.

No, you're hearing it from me. This is science now.

Do not touch the viper.

Welcome to science. Wait, can we just do my segment, Welcome to Science for two seconds?

Absolutely. Here we go, but we do have to have the intro. Hey, greetings and welcome. Grab a seat. You're gonna like what you hear and learn what you like. It's welcome. It's welcome. It's welcome to science. Sponsored by SpaghettiOs.

Hey kids, you might have heard that science can be anything these days. So we're jumping on that trend. This is science. There's no such thing as poisonous snakes or spiders. That sounds like a dangerous thing. There's no such thing as poison. The bleach under your sink? Good.

Erin, Erin. Orkin Spaghettios. We just got a call from Spaghettios. After the bleach thing, they want to double the money they're giving us. But you have to mention Spaghettios.

Oh, I, I know what will go good with all of this cleaning product under my sink. Mmm, mmm, SpaghettiOs.

Okay, hold on, Erin.

Ooh, give me that worst consistency for anything ever. What's up?

Erin, I just got an email. It's from lasagna eyes. Um, SpaghettiOs number one competitor. They want to get in on this. So can you also mention lasagna eyes?

I went on a date once and the guy said I had lasagna eyes and I said... Back to Garfield baby.

Erin, that should be a whole spin-off show.

Would you rather... we've all come up with great characters, okay?

We have Pretzel Jesus, we have Erin Science Quarter... Well, mine's the only... Actually, all three of those segments are sponsored by the Republican Party. Republican National Committee paid for all three of those. That's the sort of fun fact.

Honestly, we're so close to the election, they're all throwing money around. Joe Biden's got an animal crossing island, the Republicans are doing spaghetti-o-science, it's all fucked up. Alright guys, I need your answer. Would you rather a poisonous viper attack you or a boa constrictor? Boa constrictor. This one is actually tricky, and they're actually doing a very mean trick on the two hosts of this show, Erin and Adal, today.

Is it something like Viper is like with an accent, like in scary stories, or like the Vindo Viper? Is it that kind of thing? Is it an actual snake?

Ooh, the Viper!

Or is it something where it's like the Viper because it's dead?

Is it something like that? Is it a boa constrictor, like a feather boa?

Guys, you're gonna hate me for this. The answer of this riddle, it's a syntax riddle. So the way that it's phrased, it says, would you rather a poisonous viper attack you, or a boa constrictor? Oh, I'd rather have the viper attack the boa constrictor. Yes, exactly.

Now hold on.

Now, or, you can go behind what's in door number two. Pavlov, you ready back there?

I want to see a scene, Erin and JPC, you are two bow constructors that are coming home from school. You're like friends. You're coming home from like grade school where you've just been bullied by vipers. Okay.

It's tomorrow, man. Tomorrow, we're gonna stand up for ourselves. Man, we're bigger than that.

Lisa, I love you, but you say this every day, okay? Sometimes we just gotta admit, we're just gonna keep getting bullied by those poisonous snakes for the rest of our life.

I wish I had a new skin. I wish I could just have all new skin.

I wish that I could suck the venom out faster, okay? I wish they would bite me in a spot I could suck. That's what I wish.

I wish I could wear pants.

Yeah, it is unfair that they make you wear that jumper.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear that someone would like new skin. Why don't you try on this top hat and two monocles?

Dad, can we not today?

I've had a rough day. Come towards me. I don't know where you're at.

Dad, we've had a rough day. We don't really feel like doing any of your science.

Dad, the worst part is that they're bullying me in front of my crush.

Wait, who's your crush?

Feather Boa. She's beautiful.

Wait, that's my crush too.

Oh no, two siblings who like the same inanimate object. It's a feather boa. The kind that's cheap and makes you sneeze.

Do you think that we're messed up because our dad is Dr. Chameleon and our mom with some train tracks?

And we're in love with a bunch of feathers?

It's me, your third sibling, and I would say, no, that's not the reason at all. And you can tell I'm your third sibling because of the top hat and two monocles.

You're the worst father a child could ask for.

You're both adopted, you're snakes!

This is better.

I'm going to my room. And the snake goes up the stairs like this. This is how the snake goes.

Snake and pants, snake and pants. I do have to acknowledge, I feel like a piece of new merch at some point should be two siblings in love with the same inanimate object.

No, I want a shirt that's just a boa constrictor snake looking at a feather boa and saying, you're beautiful.

I thought you were going to pitch a new shirt with the three new characters that we debuted on the show. Absolutely not. Okay, the next riddle. A toothless villain has kidnapped an unknown number of dental technicians. While eavesdropping, you hear the villain exclaim, direct! I have one dental technician too many to give each one their own cage. And if I put two in each cage, I'll have one cage too many. How many dental technicians have been kidnapped?

I have too many cages where one won't have a cage.

I have too many cages to give each their own cage. And if I put two in a cage, I'll have one cage too many.

One cage too many is the Francis Ford Coppola documentary.

Oh please. So, kidnap an unknown number of dental technicians. They have one dental technician too many to give each their own cage.

So hold on. One too many. So they have a surplus. There's more technicians than cages. By one. By one.

And if they put two in each cage, they'll have one cage too many. They'll just have an empty cage.

Okay, one second.

Oh, one cage only pops up every... Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

It's not a leap year cage situation.

Hey it's me, leap your cage. Honestly, if you know Adal, you've had enough characters on this show. Real quick, I have to say, just 10 seconds of your time, there's a new movie coming out called Jujitsu, where Nicholas Cage plays a martial artist who fights aliens with Jujitsu and also flies.

Okay, that's what JPC meant where you have to be 25% more crazy.

Yeah, I mean, the one thing that you can say about Nicholas Cage is the guy does not manage his money well. He bought a T-Rex skull. And it's gone now.

Look up the trailer for Jujitsu. It's phenomenal.

Erin, you were close, right? You had a flash of inspiration. Oh, say it, Erin.

Yeah, no, I'm wrong, though.

What was it? Say it. Operative. If I put two in each cage, I have one cage too many.

Oh, so, but that means you're putting... Three? You're doubling up all of them. Erin's right, it's three. Yeah, yeah.

You have three dental technicians because you have one too many to give each their own cage. And if you put two in each cage, you'll have one cage too many.

I had that and then I doubted myself.

Wow, Erin, never ever doubt yourself. Also, I'm wrong. It's three cages. It's four dental technicians.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

Three cages. Yeah, I think I fucked up the way that I phrased that, but you are correct. Because if you have four dental technicians and you double them up, that's two and two in an empty cage, and then three cages is one less than four. So that's that math riddle. I know Adal loves the math riddles. Charlie said a few more. They're all called the laborious language game. I'm going to give this to you quick because I really do think that these are pretty difficult. Charlie writes, like thick black smoke, a blindfold or false eyelashes, a series of very large words can hide the simple truth from all but the most skilled volunteers. Please translate these complicated verses into words even a very young child can understand. So these are It's needlessly complicated.

They're laboriously complicated with their... But it's like a phrase like, you know, early bird gets a worm, but it's said in such a way that it's dense. But verse. Verse, I think, is maybe the key thing.

Maybe that's giving a little too big of a head. Oh, like a lyric. Wait, verse? Yeah, so it's these completed verses into words. So the following are verses. So here's the first one. A traditionally named female child had a diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A traditionally named female child had a diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. Its woolly pelt was as pallid as the frozen moisture of the atmosphere. I hate this.

I knew you would. Wait, do it again.

I think I could also maybe sing it. No, no, no.

I think I have it.

A traditionally named female child had the diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. A traditionally named female child had the diminutive youth of the species ovis aries. Its woolly pellet was as pallid as the frozen moisture of the atmosphere. Mary had a little lamb. Adal's got it. It's fleece was white as snow.

Yes. Oh, nice.

Okay, ready? Hold on. I'm so sorry. This brings me to Adal's shame town. Talking about shame town. Who's the mayor? Who's the mayor? Guys, here he is. Erin, you said Baby Shark.

Baby Shark. Baby Shark.

Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark.

Baby Shark.

Baby Shark.

Baby Shark.

Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. Baby Shark. The greater possibility, possibly quantity, of the sovereign's equine subjects and the greatest possible quantity of his male human ones were unable to reassemble the character.

All the king's horses and all the king's men, they're going to have to do something better back together again. How far up the egg do the pants go?

Alright, this is the last one of these laborious linguistics.

Sorry if that's a Patreon episode.

Really, I think it's a regular episode. The Riddle here is me fucking pronouncing these right. Emit sparkling luminescence. Emit sparkling luminescence. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. You're both right. It is Katy Perry's Firework. It is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Thank God Erin shouted that out before I had to read more of those words because they are laborious. Thank you so much, Charlie, for sending them in. And thank you for everyone who submitted riddles for the live feed. I'm sorry that we didn't get to more, but I'm glad that we got to some on the show today. Let's get to our favorite segment. This is a little segment at the end of the show where we kind of plug some stuff that we are into. Erin, is there anything in this fucking world that you want to plug?

Yes, I want to plug something that I have been absolutely loving. So Adal saw this like a week and a half ago when I drove by his house to Pick some stuff up. I have a like mask holder necklace and it's like a chain and it connects to my mask and when I'm driving I can just put it down and it's so good because I keep just dropping my mask and leaving it places. I'm obsessed with this. She did not ask me to plug this but my friend Erica Steffen made me too. You can find her on Instagram at the ELF shop and there's a period between the The period elf period shop. She is so amazing and so great. And they're really gold and pretty, but they have like letters on them. So mine say pack the can, have it yad. And my other one says, I love bread.

I love that.

So if you want them, they're really, really affordable and they're beautiful. I get complimented on them. Any single time I go to their grocery store or I have to leave the house, you should definitely get one. They're amazing. They're stellar. The Elf Shop. And message me on Instagram if you can't find it. I hope she doesn't mind me plugging this, but they're great.

Yeah, people who have small outfits, they really fucking hate money. People hate money. Thousands of people listen to it and getting advertisements. That's a thing that pisses me off. Hey, for my plugs, and speaking of, and nobody asked me, but I'll just go, I don't know if I can get serious in these things guys, but I noticed the other day on the website twitter.com that I have like 9,500 something followers, and I would really love to get to that 10K. I want that little K on my Twitter. I want to obscure the number of followers that I have after you hit that comma. I would really love this. This is my Christmas dream. My birthday's in December. I'd love to get there. So if you can tell a friend, I'm not going to do any good tweets that would like, you know, make my Twitter more popular. But if you listen to the show, at JP So Fly, give me a follow, then log off the fucking website. It's one of the worst websites in the fucking face of the planet. Nobody should be on there. But if you are on there, follow JP So Fly. I'd love to have a few more followers.

Adal, anything to plug? Yeah, so coming up this Saturday November, I'm sorry, October, October 24th, Saturday, I have two- We are recording this in the future. I have two workshops with Queen City Improv in Charlotte. They're going to be podcast workshops taking place over Zoom. So please check out Eventbrite. If you search my name in eventbrite.com, you can find those workshops. Or go to the Queen City Comedy website. I'm also doing some podcasts, workshops coming up at Third Coast Comedy in Nashville. So you can go to their website and check those out. So please attend. I'd love to help you out with your podcast and do bits and have a good time. So check those out. And I'll probably tweet about those tomorrow so you'll find them linked on my Twitter page. And from my Twitter page you can find JPsofly and follow him.

Yeah, I'm all over Adal's Twitter page. I'm in the comments.

Forget my thing. Forget having a beautiful mask holder. Definitely just follow JBC on Twitter.

Erin, there was one more thing. I know that we have another friend of the show who has an Etsy shop. They do not want us to mention it, but you said that you might give them a shout-out. Would you like to give a final shout-out to our other friend's Etsy shop? It's a little bit far. It's not as close as an Etsy shop.

Oh, is it Adal's butt tattoos? No, Jupiter. Jupiter. Sorry. Sorry.

And versus a buy forever, I'm going to cede the floor for 30 seconds of a sermon from your and I's favorite savior, Pretzel Jesus.

Hey boys and squirrels, it's Pretzel Jesus, and I just want to tell you, you can dunk me any day of the week, not just on whatever day church is, and to what I say, church is every day, and it's all cool, and it's all guitars, and everybody's mom's making snacks.

I just saw Casey unplug the podcast.

Uh oh! That's a Pretzel Jesus whoopsie. Pretzel Jesus forever.

Sorry, you're in chief. And John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney did the editing and already parented the music.

Hey party people. If you liked that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We play a new game called Small, Medium, or Large that is sure to be the breakout hit of the fall. If you want to hear that plus all of our bat catalog, go to patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle and join the Clue Crew for $5 a month or the Review Crew for $8 a month. See you there!