Which Riddle Riddle?

Hey Riddle, it's JPC here with a special announcement.

We're supposed to be doing some live shows this year, but then lockdown happened, so a pivot. Instead, we are going to be doing a live streaming show. It'll be just like a normal live show, except instead of you being in the audience, you can watch it from your home, probably naked or whatever you guys are into. Oh, and the best part is it's not geocoded so you can watch us live from anywhere in the world. And if you can't catch us live, you can watch for up to 24 hours after the show. The show is happening Tuesday, October 13th at 8 p.m. Central time and you can get tickets by clicking the link in the most recent episode description or by going to our Twitter or Instagram. Now, back to the podcast.

It says disk space remaining for recording. Oh, please don't look at that. That's private. My dick space is none of your business. And it's bad to have to play in Dick Space.

The name's Dick Space, and this is my space station. And you're gonna play by my rules, Vulcan.

That has legs.

And so does she. I'm Dick Space. I'm a bad man, and I shouldn't be drinking whiskey at work.

I have a feeling this is gonna be the start of the episode. Here we go. Oh, something we're going to finish.

It was the captain of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horn of big riding. Alright, Erin, get out of the car.

Here we go. Cover your eyes.

Ow! Oh my god, I hit my forehead. Okay, just come in this room. Hit my elbow.

Okay. Uncover your eyes. Erin, it's your birthday, so you get to pick out a new co-host.

Oh, out of all these co-hosts in this room?

Hi, I don't want to seem over eager. My name's Michael Nichols and I really need a job. I got four kids and they're driving me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Can we get him away? Put him back in this cage. Put him back in this cage.

It seems like there was a lot of co-hosts in here.

Yeah, just pick one. Do you want to play with them or do you want to give them a pet or ask about their age or anything?

Okay, let's see. I'm going to go up to this guy. Okay. Um, uh, when I say Riddies, you say... I don't got time to deal with Riddies.

I don't have time to deal with a lot. Terminal, that's what they said. Go work at your computer, Terminal.

Alright, I'm gonna go over to this guy. So no women in here, though, huh? Still just a bunch of white kids.

Since you said it, I guess we'll respect that. That's the one time we'll respect your offering. There is no women here.

That's not what I meant. I'm gonna go up to this guy.

So we should leave us women and we clap, snap, clap. We're out of here. Hey, how can I help you? I like this guy's sound. Chucky Pizza's my name, and Riddle's is my game.

I'd love to be a- No, no, no, no.

All right, old Chucky Pizza's gonna go fuck himself.

All right, fine, JBC, fine. I learned my lesson. This was some sort of like Christmas carol thing where I learned that JBC was the best that we can do.

And, Eric, can I be honest? Not only was I the computer terminal guy, Chucky Pizza, the first guy, and all the women, but it's me, JPC, and I was all the co-hosts the whole time.

I wonder why they were all the worst.

One note. And speaking of, I'm Adal Rifai. I'm Chuckie Pizza.

And I'm the guy from the beginning. What was him? What was him?

And this is Hey Riddle Riddle, the podcast bringing you all the riddles and puzzles and lateral thinking problems you could absolutely stomach. We are, we're in our, what? I want to say 25th season? Late 40s. We're in our late 40s.

We're all going through midlife crises.

We've been doing this for a hundred years. We're going through menopause, we have hot flashes, we have flash drives.

How's everyone stressed? Is everyone okay?

This has been just such a wild week. It's just been such a wild week. Roller coaster ride. A roller coaster ride of a week.

The image for me for this week was watching Sean watching the debates, which technically was still in the scene. He was so stressed that he was doing push-ups and sit-ups and then got so stressed that he dug a cigarette out of the trash right in between doing his push-ups and sit-ups and then smoked a cigarette outside because he was so stressed. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

He dug a cigarette out of the trash, but his dad threw that cigarette out of the trash when he said, I'm out of here, kid. You can figure out your own baseball college.

But then!

When you're old enough to dig this cigarette out of the trash, then I'll be back.

I was like, wow, there really is no curbing your stress watching this, huh? Because nothing's working.

It is absolutely fucking bonkers to think that the debate was less than a week ago when we're recording this. That's insane.

And basically nothing has happened in the news since then.

Yeah, I don't think so. Let me check my newspapers here. No, just a bunch of one ads.

My favorite thing is Trump getting COVID, getting the best care in the world, and then saying that it's not a big deal and we shouldn't be scared of it.

I can't wait. I mean, who knows? Who knows what will happen next? This, it's like... You know, we got a reality TV president and we're finally getting some fucking like fantastic reality TV out of it. And I just, I hear, I for one am here for it. It's my favorite type of reality TV. It's just like me watching Real Housewives because I don't care about what happens to any of the main characters. I do care about like, cause some of them have like children and I'm like, oh, these children shouldn't be here. And that's how I feel about like the people that just have to like clean and work at the White House. They're like, we're going to die, right? But But it's that type of reality TV. It's got horrible consequences, but man oh man, I'm rooting against these main characters.

JBC, can I see your Real Housewives intro? If you were to spin at the beginning and say a little sassy thing. Adal, you can do one too if you want.

So if you don't know about Real Housewives, at the beginning they're all... It's probably a green screen or something, but they're all dressed in fancy, they're done up, head to toe, makeup, expensive clothes, and it has their name, and their name is something like Chrysalis or... Hey Riddle Riddle.

I want to okay so I want my name to be Vanessa Cadaver and I spring out of a fountain because the camera's been stationary on a fountain for like eight minutes and I spring out and gas for air and then smile and then spit out water and then I fart and then waft my own fart onto my nose and then look at the camera and wink and say don't bother with my landline and that's my intro. I've never seen the show. Is that a good video?

You know what's a little upsetting is how good a bajabi did?

My name is going to be JP Diamonds and mine is going to be I'm going to have two different over the shoulder. I'm going to have I'm going to say I'll have what she's having over the shoulder and then bam cut over the other shoulder and then say the cum sandwich.

Oh, I love it. This is my opening line. I'm in a huge dress. I'm holding a bottle of champagne that I've clearly just been drinking myself. And then I turn and go, you heard right. And then I turn back and I go. I'm overrated.

Okay, and then I also want to, when I get out of the fountain and dry myself off, the producers help me towel off. Then I lay down on the ground, like I sit down on the ground on my butt, and I spread my legs as far open as they'll go, and I'm wearing a skirt.

This has been Hey Riddle Riddle, I'm JPC.

And in front of my genitals is a clothes sign, and I just turn it from closed to open, and then I wink at the camera and say, open for bidness?

And I do want to change mine as well. I also want to say shampoo for my real friends over the shoulder.

Real poo for my sham friends. Over your head and shoulders. Over my head and shoulders. And JBZ, since you're already doing the intro, you are Old Man Puzzles for today. Old Man Puzzles. That Old Man Puzzles.

Yes, I'm Old Man Puzzles for this week.

It's been a chaotic week, so what better way to focus us, to center us, to bring us back to some Sense of normalcy than by doing some riddles. So we are going to start out with a couple. We have a couple listener submitted ones. So this one comes to us from... You know what? They didn't say that I could use their name, so I won't. I'm just going to say their initials MM. It is M&M. This is coming to us from the Detroit rapper M&M. We stan. This is, it's a warm up riddle, it's a bit of a warm up riddle. They say, but even if I end up, oh I'm sorry, the beginning of the riddle is in the subject line of the email. I just started reading the body of the email, my mistake. I'm careening through the air and screaming constantly, but even if I end up dangling by my toes from a tall oak, I'm sure I'll be fine. What am I? Sugar glider. Sugar glider. Snap.

Snap.

Snap. It's like that foosball football. Bobby Boucher, Adal, do we want to see a scene? Was Gambit going to show up?

No.

No, you're right. It's too early. It's too early. But since of normalcy... A kite.

Erin is not a kite.

A hot air balloon.

A bat?

A bird.

It's got to be a bat because bats are always using echolocation and they're screeching. They're like dust and diamonds in the rough. They're always screeching.

I want to see a scene. Sorry.

Wait, can we find out if I was right?

No.

She said sorry, except the apology.

Adal, you're a bird. You're like a morning bird. You're such a morning person and you are dating a bat. So JPC, this is the first time you really had to be up during the day and you're trying to see if you can date this bird.

Sure. I'm like a bird. I'm up at 5am. I already caught all the worms. Hey Jerry, hey. Welcome to the Land of the Living. Hey, you know my name? Yeah, you seem to be up early. Yeah, I'm sorry. Do I know you? Have we met?

My name is Twilight. Oh, Twilight. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Jerry, this is my tree, or I guess it's, you know, mi-ti-ti-casa su-casa.

I don't speak that. No, it's okay. It's fine. So you're like nocturnal, right? Yeah. And can you make out the features on my face, or are you... Wow, that's very forward. I would love to make out with the features on your face. If that's your offering, I mean... I mean, now that you brought that up, I was talking about something else. I was talking about echolocation.

Oh my god, I am so sorry. Yes, I know echolocation as well. I forget myself. Sorry, it's early morning for you.

I've been up all night, so... So Bats can locate any Mark Echo clothing wear at any department store in the world?

Eh, red flag. Anyway, I gotta get up because I gotta be up super late. So it was so nice meeting you.

It was nice to meet you.

Yes, it was nice to meet you.

My name is Twilight. It's kind of like a funny thing because I'm up so early.

Sure, yeah. Good stuff. So I got your information. You have mine. Do you want to come to my nest? Yeah, and I can find that. Let's make a plan to do that.

But you're not taking down any information.

Oh, sweetie. Oh, well, this was great.

We both eat bugs. Hold on. We have so much in common. We both eat bugs, right? One, we both fly. Two, we both have, we both, our kind starts with the letter B. Yes.

Anyway, it's so great running into you again. I enjoy your bugs. I can see that you're probably going to go eat a lot of bugs. Oh, I'm getting a call. It's echolocation, so you can't hear it.

So I'm getting a call. Wow. You just got rejected by a bat.

Check, please. But Adal, the silver lining is that you are correct. The answer is a bat. Thank you, Eminem, for sending in that riddle. All right.

It's a good thing I got that answer because my interest was starting to wane.

That's funny, and I like that.

Thank you. This next one, they also didn't say that we could use their name. Let's call them Yahoo user Drew Davenport. Okay, so this is from Yahoo user Drew Davenport, and their email is about things called two-minute mysteries. You guys have heard of two-minute mysteries, right?

Hell yeah.

Well, we've talked about two-minute mics, which is where I used to get my haircut. Exactly. So it's not a far jump from that. We're basically already there. But they said that in primary school, they were introduced to Riddles from this book called Two Minute Mysteries. They'd always be about a detective at a murder or robbery or whatever, and then someone would say something innocuous, which would clue in the detective or the cops, and then they would arrest them on the spot. And then they remembered a couple of them that they sent in to us.

And are primary schools any school that's divisible by itself?

Yes, so primary schools are 1, 3, 5, 7. Red, yellow, blue.

Alright, I'm going to put my detective hat on. Scooby doobies. Okay, it's on.

I'm going to put on my detective coat.

Shaggety dap. And I will put on my detective ankle bracelet, which I have required the wear.

Wait a second.

A detective told me it was required.

You guys, there is no coronavirus. JPC's just on house arrest.

And that bracelet prevents you from watching the hit drama House, right? Exactly, yes.

But my stories, my crazy medical stories, please!

As I experience the world, we have all been on lockdown since I decided to turn on some mobsters, who I was doing their books for them, and then the world has been on lockdown ever since. And that's why I also changed my name to Charlie Pizza. Please do respect. That is the name that I have to go by now. I can still do a podcast.

Pizza, table of one.

Technically on a house arrest, I did order a pizza and the table is the little table that they put in the noble Romans box. It's the little like a plastic white four-prong table. I should stop talking. Actually, I'm getting a call. It's an echolocation. That's why you can't hear it. This is called the case of the arrowless bow. The chief clue in the death of Susie was an archery bow lying on the carpet at the top of a narrow, twisting flight of stairs in her home. Susie was found at the bottom of the stairs, her neck broken, the sheriff tells you. Had she fallen, her momentum would not have carried her around the twists in the stairs. She was pushed and hard. As far as we can determine, the only thing missing from the home is Susie's famous Luzon diamond. My theory is that Susie heard burglars. Fearing for the diamond, she tied it to the arrow and shot it out the open window, expecting to reclaim it later. You say, an exotic theory, but perhaps true. The sheriff tells you, the prime suspect is Kevin. He's been trying to buy the diamond for years. I've had him picked up. You hide the bow. You both sit in the stairs just as Kevin was brought in by police. Kevin listened arrogantly as the sheriff said, Susie was pushed down the stairs and killed. The Luzon diamond is missing. Were you in this house during the past three hours? Kevin insists. No, I don't know a thing about Susie's death. But find the diamond, you dumb cop. I'll buy it. And then in parentheses, what an asshole. You tell Kevin, the diamond won't be hard to locate. Staring up at the top of the narrow, twisting staircase, you add, it's only a narrow flight away. Let's go outside and look, Kevin exclaimed. Arrest him, you tell the sheriff.

Why? Because he had no idea that she was going to shoot the arrow outside.

He should, by all reason, assume it's upstairs. And he said, let's go outside and look so he knows it's outside.

So, he knows it's outside.

Oh, did he have an arrow through his neck? He has an arrow through his neck, yes. Oh, then that's the thing.

You would have known that she shot it from that window upstairs.

I think that you guys both have the right answer, but do you know... There's an operative word in there that kind of clues you into the right answer.

Diamond. You guys, they're tired of me.

Operative word. Would it be... Adal, you are correct.

So you tell Kevin the diamond won't be hard to locate and you're looking at the staircase, you say it's only a narrow flight away. But what Kevin hears is it's only an arrow flight away because he knows that it was shot with the arrow.

Oh, narrow arrow.

Narrow arrow. So thank you so much. What is it? Yahoo's Dustin Diamond? What do we call this person? Thank you DDP so much for that Riddle. And they also included a link to more Two Minute Mysteries.

I want to see a scene. I want to see a scene. Erin, you are Robin Hood. JPC, you are Jeff Hood, Robin's little brother. Okay. And Erin, you are teaching him how to shoot an arrow to ward off an attacker.

Alright. Jeff, shoulders back.

Okay.

Keep your heart space open. Dude. My what? Your heart space, your chest open. And can I just, I think you're doing great. Like you're doing like so good.

No, I'm not.

No, you're doing so good. The one issue I'd say is you are stealing from the poor and giving it to the rich. It's so much easier. I know. It's so much easier. I know buddy. And I'm so, so proud of you. I'm so, so proud of you. But it is the absolute worst possible thing you can do. And that's not what we're all about. Wait, Mary, Mary, Mary. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Hey girl. Oh, hey, what's up? Can I, can we like exchange information? This is my dumb little brother, I'm just... Did you know how to shoot an arrow?

Pardon me, Maid Marian. I stole some dirty rags and blankets for you. Would you, uh, would you care for some dirty rags and blankets? No, no. I stole them from a very poor man.

These seem to be tampons stuffed with oatmeal. I don't want this.

What?

I didn't do it. I'm just saying what it is. Made very- It seems like you did it. I'm sorry. I'm labeling it. I'm sorry. That's a red flag. I don't have time for this. I'm dating Lil John. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever heard of him? No. Okay. Well, I'm dating Lil John, so I'm doing quite well.

That dude I see walking through the forest.

Yeah. Oh, brother. Sorry, so take your crush and drink it, I guess.

Bye. Oh, the birds are carrying me away.

Damn, I'm sorry, Robin. That sucks to hear.

You really blew that for me.

What? I was just trying to help. I had just robbed an old porn man earlier today and I was just trying to offload some of the gear I got. Robin, I'm doing this all wrong. Can I go back to what I was doing before you took me out of medical school? I think I could make a good doctor.

Doctors are just wizards.

I know, but I googled what's the richest profession and it's doctor. After I get over all of that debt, then I'll be wealthy.

The most noble thing you can do is steal from the rich and give it to the poor. Not save people's lives, you idiot.

Robert, yours seems like a band-aid to a bigger social problem.

Let me put this old rag on the top of your head and I'll be able to shoot it off with an arrow.

Oh, I don't know, Robert. It's like... Whoa! God! You took my ear! Same.

I'm gonna give it to a poor person.

He is an ear, you poor person. I texted Casey that I was betting him $10. You would create a character called Tyre Fuck and you did not, so I lose $10.

Okay, cool. I've got one more listener submitted before we get to some riddles of a different variety. This one is coming from, you know, maybe these riddles are before we asked people if it was okay if we could say their name. So we've got two initials, A and M. These are two different people. What do we think? What kind of names do we want to give them? Ass to mouth.

No, let's call them Alice and Meatball.

Hi, Alice and Meatball. Alice and Meatball, that's slightly better than Ass to Mouth. Send us this riddle. Okay, a young woman is living with her conservative religious family. After a year of questioning and soul searching, she decides to finally admit something. That night, at dinner, she approaches her parents and says, Mom, Dad, I've given it some thought, and I can't really be Christian anymore. I hope you understand. Her parents are obviously flabbergasted and disappointed in their child. The mother talks about it with her neighbors, and the news spreads throughout their church group. The following Sunday, the young woman returns to church with her family, and no one is surprised to see her there, and she continues praying. Why is this?

Oh great, a fucking parable. Um, what's her name, Christian? Is it a parable or a paradox?

Um, her last name was Christian, and she is getting married.

Erin, that is a really good guess. It is not correct, but you're on the right name. Her last name is not Christian.

Okay, I said, I don't know if you heard me, I said she changed her name. Her name is Christian.

I mean, yes, that is correct. Her name was Christian, but it is not Christian anymore. Yeah. This woman is transgender, who was assigned a male name at birth and has given up that name and is no longer being Christian, but she is still going to church because she is still a Christian. That's great. What do you mean that's great? We'll just try to put you on blast. Here's the thing. I don't agree.

Would you name your kid after your religion? Seems like sort of a hat on a hat.

I named my dog Spaghetti, so yes. My bird's name is Baptist, first Baptist. Here's the thing. I don't agree with religion, but if you want to celebrate it and enjoy it and practice it, God bless. I don't agree with religion.

I should have had all those wafers.

Okay, there are no kids named Jewish, but they're a kid named Christian. So I'm just saying, who's more pompous?

Do you really think that there are no kids named Jewish? Erin, have you never seen the famous actor from Mr. Robot, Jewish Slater?

There's a tricky thing. We're in like a trickier part of the rapids.

Is Christian the only first name that is named after a religion? I think so, right?

Like no one- Wait, Gerot.

You think that man's name is Quaker Oats? You know, the guy from Cocoon. I'm sorry, Quaker Oats? You're Dave. You're Dave. You look like that with the buckle hat. My name is Quaker Brimley. Your name is Quaker Oats. You should check for diabetes.

I think it's funny if his name is Quaker Oats.

My name's Quaker Oats and I'm an oil man. Actually, I'm not sure.

I don't want to talk out of my ass.

I don't know. I think it might be. I don't think that there's a lot of other first names. But I also think that there are people whose name is like faith and chastity and stuff like that. And I think that those are kind of like Christiany words. So I think maybe that's more of a thing in Christianity.

Christopher. It's like there's so many like Christ based

I know maybe like 10 years ago. I can't remember exactly so don't don't quote me on this but at some point in the last 10 to 15 years the number one baby name was Nevaeh which is heaven backwards. Is it really? It was. It was. A certain year it was like in the top five baby names.

Do you know in the last 10 years, the number one baby name was Nevea, which is Heaven backwards? I just quoted you. Seven backwards?

I said don't quote.

Heaven.

I can't spell.

I don't know what is happening. I'm sorry about everything I've said so far.

My baby's name is Nevea, which is seven backwards. Who wants to tell her? Does anyone want to tell them?

Wait really quick, I'm going to look up the number one baby names in the US in the last two years and then you guys can guess.

I remember that a friend of mine, and I don't want to put him on blast, but named his daughters and the names that he named his daughters were the most common baby names that year. It was like number one and number two, they were twins. I always thought that that was so funny.

Okay, so do you want to guess the top three baby names for 2019 for male names and female names?

Mark, Sarah, Jessica, Dylan. I want to say there's got like a Chet or a Chad.

Checks. David? Michael? I'm going to say Emily. I think Emily is a solid name.

There is a variation on Emily. Emily.

Emilia. Emilia.

Shorter.

Emma. Emma.

Emma. Emma was the number two baby name last year.

What was number one?

Olivia. So for female names, the top four are Olivia, Emma, Ava, Sophia. And then the top four male names were Liam, Noah, Oliver, and William.

You just listed all the members of Oasis.

Did I?

Yeah, Liam and Noel, right?

Okay, well thank you so much for everyone who sent those riddles in. Of course, if you always want to send riddles into the podcast, go ahead and send those to hrrpodcastatgmail.com. Make sure that if you have HR-related questions that you would like me to answer at your office. This is a bit I used to do like 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 episodes ago. Go ahead and send those to hrpodcastatgmail.com. I still do not have access to that email address. I am locked out of it.

I'm sure it is full of hundreds of emails. Here's what I want to do. One, I want to, I just had a great idea. One, I want to encourage all of our listeners to get a Hey Riddle Riddle tattoo. I think that is a great idea. I don't think you'll regret it. Don't do it. Don't do it. I think that's a great idea. If you are going to have a child and you and your spouse or loved one doesn't have to be a spouse. If you and your loved one who is going to co-apparent with you is having a baby and that you both listen to the show, you should name your child Riddle.

I think probably around Harry Potter times that was maybe like not an unpopular, I'm sure that someone had Riddle as a middle name.

I'm sure that's a good middle name I think. I think that would be a stellar homage to us because I feel like we need to ask our fans to show their loyalty. What would you like to do?

I think you should have your kids middle name be Lord Voldemort.

I honestly believe this. I believe that the children should legally have to be mandated to change their name three times in their life. I think that they should have, the parents should pick the name and then at age three, the child should get to pick what name that they want to be called.

Mine would have been Butts.

Sure. So you're Butts. Now that is your name. That is your legal name through eighth grade. Mine would have been Toblerani. When you are 14, after going through your whole childhood with Butts and Tobleroti, you get to pick another name.

Joe March.

That's the name that you choose until you are 18 years old. So you go through all of high school with that name.

Sorry. And my name would be Gush Funderland.

All right. So and then when you're 18, you get to choose your final name. And this is the name that it's like, you bit Butts, you bit Gush Funderland. Now you want to just settle down and your name is...

John Patrick Coan.

Still Gush Funderland. Mine's Charlie Pizza, and it was Charlie Pizza for all three, baby.

And if you're a mob boss and you're listening to the show, Charlie Pizza don't know shit about the horse murders.

Hey boss, I finally found out what Charlie Pizza is. He's co-hosting the podcasts.

Get the horse off, let's go.

Wait, in this scenario, his name was Charlie Pizza? He changed it to Charlie Pizza?

Cuz he's an idiot.

Okay, let's read another list of Riddle books. I finally found Pizza Charlie. He changed the name to Charlie Pizza and he's also the Riddle podcast. No, we are now going to an oldie but a goodie, my favorite, The Blue Book, back by popular demand. I think one person tweeted me that they wanted to see The Blue Book again. So it is back by popular demand. What work can a sculptor never finish? What work can a sculptor never finish? Cleaning up all the clay. They say a sculptor never finishes, cleaning up all the clay.

I feel like we've had this one. He can't, ooh.

Sculptor never finish. Hey Erin, it's very possible that we've had this one, but hey, you still need to give me the answer to it.

Something about his like dying, like his hands, he can't.

Cleaning his nails. No.

These answers suck.

Is it his taxes? One thing that's sure, baby, it's sculpting and taxes. What work can a sculpture never finish? A sculptor, sculptor, not a sculpture. What work can a sculpture never finish?

Nope, not a sculpture.

A sculptor.

Okay, sculptor is going to be working with marble or clay. One who sculpts. Okay, is this something to do with sculpting? No. Oh. What work? Can I give you some hints?

Yes. The work isn't necessarily big. Many people undertake this work.

None of them can ever truly complete it. Oh, is it counting the grains of sand on a beach? You think a lot of people try that?

Seeing yourself in person.

Interesting. No. Oh, is it the Lord's work? They say the Lord's work is never done, but on the sixth day, he rested.

Being at your own funeral.

I say the Lord's work is never fun. No, you're both, you're not really on the right track. I do want to see a scene. Erin, this is a funeral for you. JPC and I are there in attendance, and at some point during the funeral, we discover that you are there in attendance as part of a fuck you in some sort of hurrah. Oh my god, this is a travesty. I mean, this mozzarella is not good.

It's been sitting out for a long time and it's still hot.

And they're pairing it with heirloom tomatoes and not cherry tomatoes. Like this is bad.

Honestly, I won't even have a tomato that's not a Roma tomato anymore. That's my number one tomato. It's when I see like a, you know, what is it? Beef, beef steak, beef steak.

Oh my God. Oldie Ford's a great movie though. Yeah. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah. Any Caprese salad worth its salt should have, you know, a smaller tomato, not an heirloom. Nobody wants to eat a full tomato in a, in the Caprese salad. That's not a salad. That's just a bowl of tomatoes. To be honest, this is barely a salad.

It's tomato, it's cheese, and it's a little bit of what? Basil? Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, it's not a salad. I'm going to say something. Is her mom here? I'm going to say something. Oh, don't bother her.

Yeah, guys, this is pretty sad.

Huh? Huh? Who are you behind that veil?

Who's this? It's so sad that the salad also has a little bit of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and a little bit of mustard powder and salt, pepper.

Why are you wearing a wedding dress to a funeral?

And it's also super sad that there is caprese salad and other food at my, or at her funeral. And not even like the wake, like normally not at a funeral is their food. But she knew her family and friends couldn't go 10 seconds without eating, so I'm sure that's why she has it.

So who is, who are you? Because you kept saying me and her and you were like changing your verb tenses and

Well, Erin was actually a secret philanthropist, millionaire, superhero, vigilante.

Oh, so we all heard that she was a philandering... Yeah, we heard she slept around. We heard that she... A philandering thousandaire. Who kissed chickens.

Well, that sounds like a dream life, so...

Scene.

It's me! Why is there food at my funeral?

We're trying to put the fun back inside. Yeah, exactly. And we're gonna call Caprese salad food. I put the funnel cake in funeral.

I like the little Caprese apps. A little stick.

I like Caprese. Don't get me wrong. I like Caprese, but why do they call it a salad? It's not a salad.

It has a little bit of green on there.

Yeah, but it's like an appetizer, but it's just not a salad. Can I blow your mind?

Yes. BBC, in the culinary world, and this is fact, you can look it up, anything in a bowl is a salad. Cereal? Salad. Manute?

Pasta. Salad.

Manute bowl?

Pizza. Pizza you put in a bowl. Salad. Super?

Solid. Okay. Did you guys get this? What work can a sculptor never finish? A lot of people undertake this work. None of them can ever truly complete it. Undertaker? No.

Can you give us another hint?

It's kind of like, so sculpting is an art, but it has nothing to do with that art. It maybe has to do with a different Art type of a creative outlet, I should say.

Creative outlet, but... Simon and Garfunkel. No, it's not music.

Yes, it's Simon and Garfunkel.

Well, no, it's not music. Because Paul Simon was never truly done with Art Garfunkel. Like he kept clawing his way back into the scene and trying to get residuals.

So now I think... Lies, lies, lies.

If I was a lawyer, that would be my only move in court. Lies, lies.

I am just a poor boy, though my stories seldom hold. As a lawyer, I would only use Simon and Garfunkel.

Counselor, these are your closing arguments. Are you sure that's the direction?

I'm just singing America over here.

Your honor, if I may. Like a bridge over troubled water.

See, if I was a lawyer, all I would do is lie or bits. I'd do the thing that's blue.

It's the claw. You're on Earth. It's the claw. JPC, give us this fucking answer. What is this?

Making love in the afternoon. You hasn't even tried. You just did Paul Simon bits.

She's got diamonds on the soul of her. That's just Paul Simon. Well, it's Paul Simon and Lady Smith's Black Mombaza, which is, Graceland is the best Simon and Garfunkel album.

That's just Paul Simon.

It is not music.

But is it Paul Simon's solo career?

What work could a sculpture never finish? The answer is Paul Simon's solo career. Correct. Are we ready to move on?

Alright, I don't know, JPC.

So let's think of famous sculptors, Rodan.

You don't need to think of famous sculptors. I already told you that you need to think of another type of like art form.

Another art form. Music, you said now.

Dancing, singing, painting, cooking, eating.

Not drawing, but you could use a pen for this. Writing. Okay, writing. Novels. No, it's not a novel, but it is a specific type of thing that you can never truly finish. Trace.

Amaze.

Trace Atkins. Amaze. Uh oh, we're revealing some things about ourselves.

No, no. To the trick is you can't get out in the little magazine. They don't have, there's, when you're doing the little maze on the piece of paper, there is no way out.

It's a little pedantic, but like truly, you could never finish this. Ballpoint pendant. It's ballpoint pendant. Yourself, someone else would have to, someone else would have to.

Tic-tac-toe game.

No. My dinner. It's a writing. It's something that you're writing.

A letter.

No, longer. Your will. No, but it is about you. Oh, your bio.

Autobiography.

Your autobiography is the answer. Yeah, Erin and I teamed up to crush this Riddle.

We nailed it. JBC, I want to see a scene. You are at your typewriter ghostwriting your own autobiography. And Adal, you can sort of be there just in the corner, sort of like Ben Affleck-ing it. Like you're not really, you're just eating like Cheerios on the couch.

So salad.

He opened the door and stepped foot inside his home. I'm sorry. Were you talking to me? No, I'm just, I'm thinking out my process. I'm reading my autobiography. Oh, well it doesn't sound like you're thinking out your process.

It sounds like you're talking out your process.

Honestly, Jake, I forgot that you were here.

Can I get you anything? Could you turn up SportsCenter? I'm not going to do that.

No, I'm not going to do that. By the way, did Carol say when she was planning or when you guys were maybe going to talk again or if that was even on the tilt?

Turns out Carol killed her husband. And so I want nothing more to do with her. She is insane. She's a Tiger Queen. And I want nothing more to do with her.

Hey, guys. Sorry. Nothing like knock. No, come on and use the news there. Autobiography is a biography you write of your own life, JPC. So you don't have to ghost write your own autobiography. It will just go up to a certain point.

So what they said to me is that they would never publish my autobiography. So I said, what if it's not me writing it?

So it's a biography.

Well, no, I'm ghostwriting my autobiography. But they read the draft that I already turned in. They said it was awful. And they said it was boring and crass, which I don't know how it could be those two things because they're so different. So I'm rewriting it from a different person's perspective, but that person is me. Okay, awesome. I don't even know why I'm having an argument with two puppets on my hands.

Hold on, hold on. You're insane and we were your puppets. Well, speaking of puppets, we are puppets for the great products that we need to let you know about. So let's scamper off the hand that feeds us and let's let the hand do the talking. Let's hear from some of these ads before I dig myself deeper into this puzzle of a comparison and we'll be right back with more Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

And I hope that you enjoyed hearing about all of this products and services and that you use them in the promo codes which we provide.

Ooh, very fancy.

Thank you. Yeah, where is this going to be?

This promo code that we provide, it will be served several minutes if you make your way to the draw room.

Brehem Brehem, please use all the services and buy all the goods that we mention and please, whatever you do, once you leave the mansion, please name your child Riddle and get a tattoo of something from the show.

I hope you enjoy the promo codes. The furthest fork is fork of crazy salad.

Three butlers living in the very same house. We're coming!

It's three butlers who've worked their whole lives for other families. They saved up enough money to retire.

And now they have a butler.

But then they're lonely so they all three live together and they butler for each other and they can't help but butler themselves because they don't know anything else.

Oh this is a great premise. Three butlers living in the very same house.

It's Gerard Butler and he's playing all three roles. Okay, we have to see a scene from Three Butlers Living in the Very Same House. Here we go. Three Butlers Living in the Very Same House and filmed in front of a live studio audience in Burbank, California.

Hmm, I'm craving tea, but my leg is still broken. Whatever shall I do?

Well, I've been dusting all the furniture, but I would be more than happy to make you up a cuppa.

I'm afraid third butler Mortimer will get very jealous if I have you get me my tea.

Well I don't want to talk to him because he kicked me in the stomach in slow motion and screamed in my face this is Sparta. Oh it's me, it's me Mortimer the butler is. Where's Gerard Butler from? Not what you're doing. Is he American? He's from New Mexico.

I guess we learn this whole time. Not talk about each other behind each other's backs, miss. Yes, of course.

Oi, wait a second. I'm thinking of the guy from The Boys. Who's this guy?

Oh, you're thinking of... Jason Statham.

No, no. Dark hair, Amazon's The Boys. Keith Urban. Keith Urban! No, Carl Urban. Carl Urban. I'm thinking of Keith Urban. Oi, you right mate. That's what I'm thinking of. Wait, who played the lead role in Grace Under Fire?

Three butlers living in the very same house.

Ding!

So we're waiting, Netflix.

We'll be waiting for a while. This is the deadly dresser. A healthy man got dressed, then laid down and died.

Why? Of course.

A healthy man got dressed, and then he laid down and died. Is that what you said? A healthy man got dressed, then he laid down and died.

He had an old basketball stored on top of his dresser and he came out and hit him on the head and he died.

Erin, now it says right here that basketball is his favorite sport. He likes the way they dribble up and down the court.

No, that is not correct, but it is a great guess. A healthy man got dressed. He laid down.

Is it blunt horse trauma on his head that causes his death?

No, it is not. When he laid down, is it like laying down his poker hand or something? No, it's him physically laid down. It's him physically laid down.

Yeah. So healthy man got dressed.

His clothes were poisoned. He laid down and died.

Well, here, you bring up a great point that he was poisoned, and if he had not dressed, he would not have died.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

He tied a tie that did something.

Yeah, he tied a tie too tight. As we all know, you have to be careful with tying a tie. Is this some bullshit like the he saw what he saw thing where it's like his clothes were so sharp they cut his artery and he blowed out or something?

No, no, no, no, no.

So really, he was poisoned?

He was poisoned. It was poison that killed him. Poison. Poison.

There was something that he was wearing before that was preventing the poison from working.

No, that's a great guess, but it's not that. It's not, he wasn't wearing anything, he was wearing, he was, Erin, get this, Erin. He was fucking completely naked.

Actually, he got poisoned when he was naked.

No, no, no, no, no, no. He was fully dressed when he was poisoned, but before he was poisoned, before he got dressed, he was fucking naked as hell. J.B.C. want to hear something crazy? Please tell me.

I've been naked in the last few days.

Wait, wait, wait, what? No, I have not. No. I would never. Unrelated.

JBC, please shower. This brings us to our next game. This is a game for just Erin and Adal because you are seeing me on a Zoom. It is your turn to guess how many hours it has been since I last showered. Now, I will say price is right rules, okay? So if you go over, you lose. Adal, we are starting with you. How many hours has it been?

Alright Casey, stressful countdown music.

Since I last showered. A couple facts about me. I don't leave the house. I'm filthy. It's locked down. I've got nowhere to be with nothing to do. How many hours have I been since I last showered? And you know the exact number? I know the exact number of hours.

I'm gonna say 32 hours. Adal says 32 hours. Erin.

I was gonna guess something similar. I was gonna guess like 34 hours ago. And if not 34, then it will have been like 56.

It has been one week. 29 hours since my last shower. You have both lost.

You're not far off yesterday morning. I knew it. We both knew it was yesterday morning. That's not nothing.

Okay, so a day is 24 hours. It is almost 10 o'clock right now.

All right, put the music back on the clock.

Yesterday morning is 29 hours. Put the music on the clock.

Put the music on top of the clock. That's how it works. All right, when was last time I showered?

We need to give Erin one of those Alzheimer's tests because she wants to put the music on the clock.

What's the music on the clock? The last time, Erin, you showered, I'm going to guess, 1998.

I'm going to guess, I think it has been 11 hours. I think you showered this morning.

I'm gonna guess 12 Price is Right rules.

I think it has been.

Oh, Erin doesn't know. Oh my god. What a terrible game. She's doing great all day.

Shut up, shut up, shut up. Do you guys want to guess my favorite movie?

Okay, thank you for both your guesses. Let's see.

31 hours ago.

Wow. Wow. And Adal, me and Erin for you both guessed 100. And that's your age. And that's your age and the last time you showered.

In days.

All right. Cool. That's an important part to watch as well. You guys didn't get it, the deadly dresser. Healthy man got dressed, lay down and died. Why? What happened?

But he was poisoned.

He was poisoned, and he was poisoned once all of his clothes were on.

Poison activator coat.

No, it was not the coat. This is an unsatisfying answer, but you're very close, so that's why I'm letting you just get to it.

Shoes.

Yes, what about the shoes? Uh, rattlesnake.

Fold to the brim with poison.

Erin, you are incorrect with rattlesnake, but you are, there was something in the shoe, not a rattlesnake.

A poisonous relationship.

I've always said, I've always told people, this was in high school because these conversations would come up.

I always told people if I ever killed someone, I would put a tiny scorpion in their shoe. Because one, they can't trace you to that. And two, with scorpions, the tinier, the more deadly.

You're awfully confident that scorpion's not going to talk.

All right. I want to see a scene. We'll have Erin. You are going to be playing a scorpion. And you're at like a bar, like a neighborhood bar.

Oh, real quick. Patrick, I just thought of this joke. Sorry, it popped in my head. I need to get it out. I also get joke blue balls. What did Scorpion say to his friend who had just been dumped? Get over here. No.

Get over her. Erin, you're a tiny little scorpion at a neighborhood bar. Everyone knows you're over a loud mouth. Adal and I are a couple of regulars at the bar and you're bragging about how you just poisoned a guy by stabbing him in the toe.

Next round's on me everybody.

Oh. Do you mean that in a way that you ask for the music to be put on the clock?

Yeah, put the music on top of the clock. We're dancing till two days.

Save your money, Scorpia. Nobody's interested in your made-up crap.

No, I'm rich now. Hiccup. Hiccup. I'm rich now, you dumb other bugs.

Alright, well I'll take, then I'll take an old-fashioned.

I'll tell you why I'm rich. Lean in close.

Alright, but just be clear, just be clear. This is a bar for people. You're a scorpion. We're not other bugs. Unless you call it people.

I'm calling you a bug as an insult, cause we're friends.

Alright, alright. She's a scorpion.

Come in close, pincipincipincipincip. No, no, no.

We're fine here. We're fine here.

I'm sitting in a martini glass like it's a hot tub. Come in close boys.

And there's a dead frog at the bottom of the martini.

Oh yay!

And on the other side of the martini glass there's a fox and on the other side there's a bag of grave.

Yeah, that's another riddle for another day, boys. Lean in close. Hummin' a hummin' a hum pincer pincer pincer. I am rich cause I got hired on Craigslist to do something bad. Very bad enough.

Wasn't another sex thing scorpion? Did you step on a guy's dick and tell him it's small or something?

Oh, so I've been talking a lot of this bar about my accolades, have I?

Did you pour some milk on your pincers? Yeah, you said you would step on a guy's dick and say, man, that's really small. Take it from me. I'm a tiny little scorpion.

Yeah, and I got paid too. Guess what I did today?

What did you do, scorpion?

There was a little scorpion who sat in a shoe. Hiccup! I'm drinking some of the martini. And now I'm wearing the olive as a hat. There was a little scorpion who sat in a shoe and then he waited for the foot of you. As soon as it's there, I took very good care.

So now it's I? Okay.

And I stabbed. I stabbed you, Riddle.

Wait a second. Wait a second. Mickey, take off your shoe. Take off your shoe. Quick.

I got a little stab mark on my toe. Oh, me too. Oh shit.

Two little bugs sitting in a bar. In their life, they won't get far.

Squash. Wait, we are bugs. We're barflies.

Seen. Why did you let me do that?

Plain and simple. A boy who is three feet tall puts a nail into a tree at his exact height. Boy who's three feet tall puts a nail into a tree at his exact height. He returns two years later when he has grown by six inches and the tree has grown by 12 inches. How much taller is the nail than the boy? He's three feet. Put the nail in. He grows by six inches. Is it a 3-inch nail?

It's a 3-inch nail, yeah. Standard 3-inch carpenter's nail.

So he's, yeah.

That's what, I think, who did Trent Reznor date? He dated somebody. Who wrote Liz Fair? And she said 9-inch nail, more like 3-inch nail. Do you ever read that anecdote? No. It's kind of fun.

Was he the same height, 6 inches, or the same height?

I think it's still 3 feet high because trees don't grow from the bottom up, right?

Adal, you are exactly correct. Trees grow from the top. The top of the tree grows, not the bottom of the tree.

I said that. I said it was the same.

I want to say a scene. JBC, you are a new boy in school. This is probably junior high. You're the new boy in school. Erin and I are old classmates at this school and you're the new boy in school and you unfortunately grow from the top. Yeah, so I was saying... He's right here.

Hey guys, um... Hey, we actually have... Hey, don't do that, shove it.

Hey, look at this freak.

Stop it, stop it. Hey, we actually have an empty seat at our table if you want to eat lunch with us.

If you can reach it. Stop. If I can reach it. Yeah, you grow from the top, man. Oh yeah, well you guys are noticing that I grow from the top. Describe your body.

And then I'm gonna draw it. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'm ready.

Should I describe it? Yeah, we ask all the new kids to always describe their body day one.

Well, okay. I mean, I'm going to, from my perspective, the first word I would use would be normal.

Describe it.

What normal? So let's see. I got tiny little baby legs, tiny little baby waist. Super log torso, like group log torso. My arms are super spindly, brittle, and long. My fingers look like demon claws. They grow into infinity, and my head is somewhere up into the clouds. Some normal, like normal body, like normal little boys. Anyway, my name is Chucky Pizza. I've never seen a mobster in my life and I'm happy to be- What's that red dot on your head? Oh, I'm sorry. I was- I just came back from sniper practice.

Scene.

Oh, Erin.

It just looks like Slender Man. Yes.

But look, or is he just a tree? Yeah, you'll have to post that.

That's great.

That's probably once in this island.

Groot concept art. Okay, this one's called the Jericho. A man was building a house when it collapsed all around him. He wasn't injured or upset, and he calmly started to rebuild it.

What the fuck was going on? This man was Charlie Chaplin, and this is a bit from one of his movies where the house falls, but he stands right where the window is and he escapes unharmed.

Did that happen? I love that more than my answer.

Did that happen in Robin Hood, Min and Tights too? I have like a memory of I feel like that happening in Robin Hood, Min and Tights. It probably happened to Blinken. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But no, that is not correct.

Um, Tornado.

Uh, no, Erin, that is not correct either. It was not a tornado. Oh, I think I know the answer. This man was actually a boy and he was playing with Blago's.

Uh, he was playing with Blagojevich Blago's. Uh, no, he was not playing with Blago's and it was not a little boy and Erin, it was not a cardboard box.

So can you read it again? The man's building a house. It collapses all around him.

Yep, building a house when it collapsed all around him, he wasn't injured or even upset, and he calmly started to rebuild it.

Oh, it's either a gingerbread house or a house of cards.

It's all been a house of cards. Season six, and we're coming back. Yes, Erin, you are correct. It is a house of cards. Very, very good. All right, you guys want to do one more?

Well, I actually want to see a scene. Well, that wasn't the question that I asked. So I guess the answer is no. Erin, you're the Queen of Hearts. JBC, you're the King of Hearts. The two of you are coming home from a long day of work to your house of cards and your whole life of cards.

Oh, wow.

We're getting home at the same time.

Look at that.

Oh, I didn't know that you would be home.

It's 5, it's 5.30. Mary, what are you going to do? I thought you were on a business trip with... No, I'm just going to go inside and take off my shoes, put on my slippers and my card again, and I'm sorry?

Oh, I'm having a friend over because he's fixing the sink. He's fixing the sink in our house of cards.

I love it when a friend comes over to fix the sink. I'm just going to head into my house. Whoa. Whoa, you're, you're naked. Yeah. Hello. You know, honey, let me explain. You were fixing the sink. You must have gotten all wet fixing the sink. Took your clothes off to dry. Yes, put a condom on.

He's a real joker.

Of course, I'd put a condom on. I wouldn't want my genitals getting wet when I'm fixing a sink.

Anyway, cardigan slippers.

I'm going to be on my sofa. And I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, but I just want to say as a plumber, which I think is what we're saying I am, sometimes, how do I say this? Sometimes people don't use the sink properly. Sometimes they don't use the sink in weeks or months. And then, you know, the sink gets bored and the sink is going to search out, you know, something.

I would say don't speak for the sink. The sink has full agency.

Wait a second.

Plumber, Jack, Queen, King, Ace, there are no plumbers in cards. You're a philanderer.

No, I guess I donated a lot of money. Well, congratulations. It's one of the accomplishments. I've always wanted to be the Philanderger.

The point of a Joker is to be a replacement card when another card can't be found and is not around. That is the point of a Joker. That is why he's here. That is why he's here.

You want to know how I got these scars?

Stop it.

Wow. This story is wild. And this wild card needs a nap. So I'm going to go sit on my chair, take my little nap.

Stop Mr. Rogers'ing your way out of here and putting on a card again and putting on softer shoes. Come back here. We're talking about our marriage.

Hold on. Let him go, sweetie. He might want to be solitaire. Oh, I just called you, sweetie. Whoops.

Yeah, we're not there yet.

See, I want to make a full house.

Oh wow, well too bad we called scene Adal and we didn't get that full house thing so we had to cut that off. I'm sorry that didn't make it into the episode.

Can we do a bonus episode of all the bits I did that got cut?

One day buddy, on your birthday for Christmas we'll definitely do that.

That actually would be a really fun episode, let's record that.

Until then, Adal, until then, just so we can give you something, we don't want to have you leave empty handed on this show of guess how long it's been since I took a shower. Do you have anything that you would like to plug?

Yes, I have two things I want to plug. The first thing I want to plug is that I guested on my friend Lex Friedman's podcast. He has a brand new podcast that's a game show called Friendly Competition. So please check out Friendly Competition. It was an absolute blast. It was a very fun, weird, silly game show. You'll see if I win or lose. And then I also want to promote, we have some good friends in the improv community at Devil's Daughter at JPC. That's your former Herald team. Yeah, my former Herald team at IO that I was unceremoniously fired from. Not true. But Gretchen Aang and Brad Pike from Double Sodder asked me if I would let everyone know in the community in the world about a brand new podcast network they have called Devil's Daughter Podcast Network. It's all of Devil's Daughter and along with several other talented improvisers doing all sorts of shows. They have a show called Dear Diarrhea, a show called Experience the World, Talking Shop, Blocked. So please check that out. I will say you're going to want to make your way over to Twitter and follow them at Devil's D-A-U-G-H and you can find more information about all their shows and check all that out.

And they have a Patreon and I listen to an episode of Brad Pike experiences the world where he goes to the zoo for you. So it's basically him taking you on an audio experience of going to a place that you can't go into quarantine. And it was one of the most maddening things I've ever listened to in my life. Truly joyful. Brad Pike is one of the funniest humans.

Speaking of people in the improv community who we love, JBC might have been about to say this, but I'll say it. Our sweet friends Dan White and Tim Lyons started a new podcast called Improv is Dead. JBC's episode's already out. My episode comes out, I think, in a couple weeks or within the next couple weeks. Dan White and Tim Lyons, to me, are two of the funniest people who have ever existed or lived. They were two people I looked up to a lot, much like I looked up to the tomb, yeah, when I first started doing improv. And they are so laugh out loud funny. And if you're looking to laugh out loud, please check them out. I really think Hey Riddle Riddle fans would like listening to them.

Yeah, I think my app came out yesterday too, so it was a very fun podcast to do and congratulations to them on their launch.

And Provis said you can find them on Instagram or you can... Apple iTunes and all those places.

All those places, probably. While we're talking podcasts, you can always go listen to the Bill Buds podcast. Very fun podcast that I do with Johnny O'Mara from the campaign podcast. But big news in podcasts, our editor, Casey Tony, the actual play podcast that he does, Neoscum, is back from their break hiatus, whatever they were doing. Casey's been working really, really hard on the editing. If you think Casey does a good job editing this podcast, you have to go listen to Neo Scum, the one he actually cares about. He does a much better job on that one. And it is truly, it is truly very enjoyable to listen to. It is a Shadowrun actual play. It is a mile a minute fun, and it's back from it there big break. So I highly, highly, highly recommend that you listen to the Neo Scum podcast. That's Neo, like The Matrix, and then Scum, like Come with an S. Go listen to that wherever podcasts are found. And if you liked what you heard on the show today from Hey Riddle Riddle, we're doing a live show in a week from when this recording comes out minus one day. It's on a Tuesday, Tuesday, October 13th. If you want to get tickets to that live show, it's a live streaming show that you can stream From anywhere in the world, up to 24 hours after that stream ends, go to headgum.com slash live. You can get tickets to that. It should be very fun. I think we're going to do like 90 minutes. We're going to do some riddles, obviously. We're also going to do maybe some like of our Patreon characters that we do. And let's see, what am I forgetting? Oh, and there's a live chat so you can like submit riddles to us from the audience throughout.

More like relationship advice questions and all sorts of other nonsense.

And this is your chance if you've never seen one of our live shows because you live in some weird tucked away area in the world. Like Florida. Or the Black Forest in Germany. Now's your time to come out of the woodwork and to see us from home. It's going to be a good show.

I can't wait.

And then one more, one final thing to plug. Yeah, last plug, last plug. The very last plug of the night. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Erin, will you just say the planet?

Just say your thing.

Oh, the thing that I say at the... Yeah, the one that you said in the episode. Oh, okay, yeah. Um, Jupiter. Great.

Okay. Oh, and then... Oh, sorry, I had one more thing, and that... Oh, yes, please. Uh, just the last thing I wanted to say, which was, um, My Forever.

Oh. Okay. And John Patrick Coan. Casey told me to be editing.

Hey there spooky skeletons. If you liked that, you're going to love this. On this week's Patreon, the Clue Crew creates our own scary stories. You can hear that episode plus our entire back catalog if you join the Clue Crew for $5 or the Review Crew for $8 by going to patreon.com slash Hey Riddle Riddle. See you there!