Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. Whoa, Adal, Erin, you guys look like absolute dog crap. Aw, thanks. No, no, it's not a compliment at all. You guys look horrible. You look haggard. You look sleepless. Erin, you look just full of anxiety. Adal, you look riddled with pain.

Well, I'm wearing someone else's wedding dress.

I haven't slept in days and I'm full of anxiety. I was gonna say that. Hey, you know, why don't you guys just use feels?

What's feels?

How do you not know this? We've advertised so many times before.

We're going along with your bit.

Adal, let's say it again. Ready? What's feels?

Come on, guys. It's the CBE company. It's the hassle-free membership program. It's guaranteed to help you feel your best month after month or your money back. It's feels.

I use it three or four times a week. It helps with my anxiety a lot.

I use it daily. It helps me out so much. Now I don't believe that you know what feels is. Well here's the thing, I can't even get upset because I'm on feels right now and I'm just relaxed, so I'm not gonna scream back at you.

Okay, if you know what feels is, what is it and how do you take it?

Well, feels is a premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. What does feels do? It feels natural and it helps you reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness.

Place a few drops of feels on your tongue. and feel the difference within minutes

And you probably realized that you weren't going to get high or have a hangover or any addiction because it's naturally a way to help you feel better. Huh? Is that what you did?

That's exactly right. And you know the person I called on that Feels hotline? They're now the best man in my wedding.

Wow. Kind of messed up that I'm finding out about it this way. Anyway, if you want to join the Feels community to get Feels delivered to your door every month, you'll save money on every order and you can pause or cancel every single time. We all love Feels because we are members of Feels.

I really use it and I really like it.

So if you want to be feeling great every day, it can help you too. Become a member today by going to Feels.com slash Riddle. That's F-E-A-L-S dot com slash Riddle, and you will get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Feels.com slash Riddle to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your order with free shipping.

Feels.

From stress to blessed. What?

What was yours? Feels.

No, guys. Feels.com slash Riddle. Offer code RIDDLE. Come on. I love the way you feels. Hey everyone, I know that you haven't heard our episode yet, you're about to hear your episode, but we wanted to leave a little message before you get to the episode. We recorded the episode you're about to listen to on Monday, May 25th, and obviously that was before the events and protests of this weekend. So we wanted to kind of say a little message before we got into the episode. If you check our Twitter and our Instagram, we kind of already announced that we are donating some money to a bunch of different charities. Some charities in Minneapolis, some of them are bail funds to kind of bail protesters who may have been arrested out of jail. Some of them are just to support the Black Lives Matter movement. If you go to our Twitter, we have a resource there. We're also going to post it in the episode description to let you know how you can also share some resources with people that really need it. And we just wanted to say, yeah, that.

We love and appreciate you all. We hope that you're staying healthy and safe. And if you have the means, we ask that you donate if possible.

Yeah, and feel free to message me on Instagram or Twitter if you have any questions or you're feeling helpless and are trying to find a way to help and we can figure out a way together.

One thing that I think is a good rule to live by, especially coming from us three cis white hosts of this podcast, is that we should all be doing our part, do as much as we can to uplift other people's voices. If you're also a white person, know that your voice is probably not as necessary here. Try to find some black voices and some people of color that you can amplify their messages as well and do as much as you can to donate to charities of people of color as well. And this is something that also has been And now

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the captain of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icicle. And the horse did ride in.

All right, everyone. Next up on the auction block, we have a gently used riddle podcast. This is from 1990-something. It's called Hey Riddle Riddle. They've done about 90-some episodes. Do I have a bid?

Negative five dollars.

Negative five dollars? I've heard negative five. I have a question. Well, when you raise your hand, that means you're bidding.

Okay, I'll do negative ten. My question is this. You say gently used, but this looks like it's been ridden hard and put away wet.

Huh. Well, you're not wrong. So the reason the podcast is up for sale is because there are no more riddles in the world. So if you're buying this, do know that there's no more riddles left. So you said negative 10, sir?

Negative 15.

I heard negative 15. Of course, that means the auction house, Sotheby's, will be paying you to take this off their hand.

I'll take it. I'll take it home with me for $20. Oh, you're going to pay $20. No, you give me the Colt 20, I'll take it off your hands.

25 from the lady in the big hat.

Ma'am, please don't describe yourself. I'll do that.

Twenty-five is the lady in the medium.

Fifty from the horribly disfigured man in the even bigger hat.

Fifty-five from the woman who is beautiful in the humongous hat.

Okay, I'm so sorry. I do have a bid in the back. Five thousand dollars from the man in the yellow hat with the monkey.

No, I'm just trying to catch my monkey.

I don't want to bid. Has anyone seen my George? Speaking of catching monkeys, I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I'm Curious Erin.

And we are Hey Riddle Riddle, and this is episode 98.

That can't be right. Check your math again, Adal. Adal, do the math. Ready?

Last was 97, plus one. Ninety-seven? Ninety-eight. Hold on, let me get out my Abacus. He's putting on a big pair of janitor's scrubs. Yes, and then I'm going to pull out my napkin that I had the members of Abacus. Okay, you see the lipstick of all four members of ABBA. This is my ABBA kiss.

I'll give you $1,000 for that. $1,000 from the lady in the big hat.

Yes, it is episode "#98." How's everybody doing? I should... Let me start off by... Because I brought nothing to the conversation by asking that. So let me say... What if Gene Simmons was the lead singer of ABBA?

What if... ABBA kiss. Thank you.

What if Gene Simmons sold blue jeans and they called them Blue Jean Simmons? What if Bill Simmons and Gene Simmons kissed?

I'm listening.

Peter, Chris. So what's going on in my world? Well, Gemma and I just yesterday... Should someone ask? No, I guess I asked myself. Gemma and I bought, we finally pulled the trigger and bought a feeder, a chipped feeder for brisket and fries because brisket is horribly overweight. So we got a little feeder where they have to stick their neck into it and then a door opens and they can eat that portion and that's it. So we're feeling good about that.

I've also... What is a chipped feeder? Is that gently used?

So we have them both chipped in case they ever get out or in case they beat their future cats because we brought them back from the future so they have chips in them. So the feeder reads that and will only open for their chip. Got it, got it. So just make sure they're only eating their portion and they're not grazing 20 times a day like they've been doing.

I just have an uncarplat thing for my cat where I just, it has to demand one quarter portion and then it can get its food. And what's your cat's name? Uncarplat. Uncarkat.

Uncarkat? Yeah. What am I, what am I, what am I up to? So have they been using this feeder? They just started today and they are both terrified of it.

They don't get it yet?

They don't get it yet. They keep trying to get into each other's because they're dumb and they're cats. But Brisk, fries is being a little bit better. Fries has kind of eventually figured it out. But Brisk it constantly goes to fries and won't go to his own.

Oh, okay.

When Brisket's the one who needs... Brisket's the one who's a fatty, moving baddie. He's a chomp boy. So he just can't stop eating other cat's food. He only wants what's not his. Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

So that's what's new with me. And I'm also replaying, I think I told you, I'm replaying Breath of the Wild because I never finished that the first time around, so I'm going back to finish it all, baby.

Is it fun?

Oh, it's so fun. And I also thought about just now, I just thought of a fun burn. And listeners, you can use this if you want. So the next time you're on a date, you can be like, damn girl, are you a 2017 hit Switch RPG? Because your breath is wild.

On a date? Yeah, that would hurt my feelings.

Feel free to use that. Hashtag NintendoBurns. Send us your NintendoBurns at hashtag NintendoBurns. I feel like use that off a date.

That's a dismount to a date. Adal, let me ask you.

How to end a date by JPC.

That's your dating advice. I'm only going to end a date with a dismount if I'm Kerry struggling.

JPC, can I see a scene and really it's just you doing a reading? A scene? Yeah. I haven't even told you about my week. At a Barnes and Noble. At a Barnes and Noble homework? And it's from your book, How to Stop Dating People, and this is like some of your advice for how to get out of a date. You're just reading it aloud.

Thank you everyone for having me. I'm going to read some selections from my book. This is from chapter six, how to get out of a date. If you find yourself dating a Seth, stop. No reason to date a Seth?

Sorry, I have a question here. Yes, I'll take a question. TV's Seth Macfarlane and I find what you just said a little bit unusual. Yes, I find that that's not very polite.

Why don't you giggety, giggety, giggety the fuck out of here, please? Security killed this man. Execute this man. Scene.

And same. Peter Griffin. That's Peter Griffin?

We'll never hear the list, everybody. Now everyone's going to be on infinite dates that won't end.

Well, not if you're Seth. Not if you're Seth.

You're fucked. Erin, what's been going on with your week?

Not much. I went to stay at my boyfriend's family's house in the suburbs because they weren't there. So we had the whole house to ourselves, watched some documentaries, ate some food, swam in the pool. Mostly just spent a few hours trying to get a shot of Shawn hitting a ball really, really hard in slow motion. That's how we spent our weekend.

Did you slide across the floor in white socks and a white butt-nung shirt?

Yeah, and then I was Tom Cruise for a few hours. It was really scary. I woke up. I was Tom Cruise. I didn't know what to do.

At the end of the weekend, did you put the Ferrari on blocks and then run it in reverse to get the miles back off of it?

That's exactly what I did.

When Erin was in Egypt land, let my Erin go.

JPC, how about your week?

Okay, well now that you asked, had an interesting, interesting week. I will say that we had a fun thing happen today, which is not fun. And I'll preface this story by no one was hurt, but there were like four fire trucks on our street because a house on our street caught on fire. But it was a house, and we got the scoop afterwards, but just like everyone in the neighborhood was out on their porch or their steps being like, well, yeah, the house on fire, huh? Yeah, everybody, the house on fire? You hear about the house on fire?

This house is on fire.

But no one lived in it, they were like rehabbing it, and apparently the firefighters were, they were like really Russian, they were like booking it to get this house put out.

Isn't that always?

No. Sometimes if like the fire department's called and it's like nothing, they won't be like moving slow. Slow down boys, where's the fire? the fact that they were like really rushing to like get the hoses put on was like oh shit this is like a real fire but apparently I guess the firefighters said to someone who was there that it had been burning for a while because the house has no one's in it because it's being rehabbed well now it's definitely being rehabbed. So you used to take house drugs? uh but it had been burning for a while and all of the windows were open it was on like the second floor of the house and they were like if the windows had been closed it could have like exploded or been more more like um combustible fire do they know how it started they don't but my guess is if it was known as in it and it was being rehabbed uh it was maybe like Some contractor left something there or something? Or electrical fire?

Who knows? Had you been by the house recently? Like, had you walked by it? Because I don't want to accuse, but it seems like maybe the fire started because of that ass?

Yeah, was it because of that ass?

It could have been, because I do walk spaghetti by that, so if you like that doggy ass, then it's possible. And her doggy ass is straight fire. Oh yeah. It's 100% a badonkadoc. I'd blaze that ass and smoke it.

Could it be arson? Could it be arson?

Could it be arson? It could have been like, who knows? I mean, nobody knows. The neighbors apparently saw smoke rising from it and then they called and then they, I wish I had been out there on the street where they were like hosing it down with those fire hoses, but I didn't want to like leave my house and like be one of those like weird onlookers on the street to be like, Yeah, firehouse. The house is burning down on fire.

I do want to see a scene. Japes and Erin, you two are parents. You're parents have a boy named Carson, and you're starting to believe that our son is an arson. Carson is an arson. Gotcha. And that's the premise.

Gotcha. Thank you, Adal, for this gift.

Goodnight, Carson. Sweet dreams.

Goodnight, Carson.

Goodnight, Mommy.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking what I'm thinking. I'm thinking what I'm thinking.

Elise, we've been married for 15 years. It's possible that we're thinking the same thing.

I know, I just get scared because I get scared that you're... You know what I mean? I'm thinking what I'm thinking.

I told you. I quit that life a long time ago. I'm no longer a medium.

I'm no longer... I know, but sometimes I just get scared that you're reading my brain, you know?

Especially. I still consult with the police sometimes, and I do it a little bit on the side, but I'm not a medium anymore. I'm not watching for the micro-expressions to read your mind.

So we're both thinking the same thing independently. You're not just thinking what I'm thinking because I'm thinking about what I'm thinking.

And I know what you're thinking. And I'm thinking the same thing, but it has nothing to do with that you're thinking that. We just both arrived at that same conclusion.

Excellent. Carson.

Your mother's dead, by the way.

What?

Perfect. I love that it started off as some ASM arson. So let's get 98 on the fucking road. We're gonna do one warm-up, and then from there we're gonna get into our pussies and riddies. Wow, I won't feel warmed up from that. The one warm-up, and I guarantee you because of the content or the subject matter, we will feel warm, a certain temperature after this. The one warm-up we have is the show cannot proceed. I guarantee you we will not continue the show until you answer this one ready, which is, who are the four members of 98 Degrees? This is episode 98. 98 Degrees is getting a little hot in here. I need all four members of 98 Degrees. I know this one.

I actually do know this. Can I go? Can I guess one?

Because I only know one. First, I think I would be mega-impressed if Japes knew all four, so first I want to see if he knows all four, if that's okay.

Okay. Nick Lachey, Lixchenae, Chik-La-Mae, and Lick-La-Mae.

You got Lick-La-Mae, but I was going to say Lick-La-Mae.

You got three of four.

Who was I missing? So, Nick Lachey is the front person, right? You were missing Gold-La-Mae. Nick Lachey, I believe, was the face of the group.

That's the face of the one you knew, too.

Yeah, that is. Wait, is Aaron Carter's brother on that one or is he in Backstreet Boys?

He's Backstreet Boys and his name is Nick Carter.

Okay, what is a 98 degree song even?

Everybody! Yeah! 98 degrees!

Yeah!

Oh, I don't remember. There was only one that I ever knew and I don't remember what it is.

Haircut Jones, Gene Vest, Mike.

Okay, here we go. Here are 98 Degrees top songs. I do, parentheses, cherish you.

Yeah.

The hardest thing, which obviously is about a boner, Invisible Man, My Everything, Because of You. Are these all ringing any bells?

Oh, intro? I remember the video for I Do.

Fly with me because of you. Give it up.

That was back in my TLR days.

Do you want to dance? Total request. Total recall.

Um... Nick Lachey. How is this a riddle?

Because it's episode "#98." Fuck you. Oh, it's episode "#98." If we don't keep trying to assume that questions are riddles, then this podcast will go up for auction.

Ooh, is it someone named Sass in it?

Is someone named Seth in it? Of course, we all know you shouldn't date Seths. There are no Seths in this. It's for white guys, right? It's for white guys. Um, they, I will say there is a pair of brothers in the group. So based off what you, the one person you know, we have Nick Lachey and Blank Lachey. Oh, Nick Lachey's brother was in this? Sam. Mm-hmm.

Mikes.

That's not Sam.

Eric. No, it's gotta be like a sexy name for music.

Adal, do not tell us until JPC and I get it. I don't care if this is the entire episode. Do not tell us.

It's not Chris. Is it Trey Lachey?

Tom. Tom Lachey.

Trevoo Lachey. Tom Duvall. Rick. Rick Lachey is a great name.

Okay, so someone named their name... Someone named their son Nicholas. What else would they name their son?

It's another four-letter word. I guess four-letter word, four-letter name.

Okay.

I think it's not. It's not Jack. I do think this is one of the property brothers names. I think. Hammer.

Hail. Hammer. Hammer Lachey. Okay, wait, I gotta see a scene. Adal, you are Hammer Lachey. You are our older brother. GBC, you're Nick Lachey. I'm Seth Lachey. Let's just assume that's his name. And Hammer Lachey is begging us to be in 98 degrees.

Hey, what are you two up to in the basement? Oh, uh, sorry. We're just practicing for, um, for... For what?

MTV.

Oh, oh my... Oh, music television. I love music television. Can I... Oh, man. What are y'all singing? I heard I do. Is it like a marriage song?

Don't worry about it, Hammer.

We don't want to bring you into it, Hammer, because we know, you know, with your divorce, we don't really want to kind of bring back bad memories for you, but it's kind of about marriage and commitment.

Yeah. It's actually faked her own death, or she just would have been honest with me.

Yeah, Hammer, well, good luck out there.

Yeah, good luck, buddy. That roof needs shingles, so we'll let you get back to it.

Huh, so I'm only good for stuff around the house to sort of your... Hammer, you're always sort of trying to like to insert yourself into our lives.

Like you tried to go to both of our proms and you were like well into your 20s.

Yeah, chaperone. Yeah, and Hammer like, you know, me and Seth are kind of like jacked and ripped and you know, you're kind of like, you know... Wildly overweight. I would say that you have dad bod.

Yeah, I have a beer belly and I have beer titties.

It's 1997 and we're not really doing dad bod yet, so... Wait, what year is it?

It's 1997. And next year's going to be... 1998. And shortened that year? 98.

That's it.

That's it. That's what?

98 degrees.

Yeah, we already had that day. Oh, I guess I'm looking at your shirts. Yeah.

Poor Hammer Lachey. I don't know why I feel bad for Hammer Lachey.

We made him up. Hammer Lachey was Daniel Craig's character in Knives Out.

My name is Hamel Roshay. Not to masturbate in the bathroom. Incredible. My name is Gazebo Malaki.

Can I ask you guys a question about that movie? If you haven't seen Knives Out, great movie. I recommend it. Where did you land on Knives Out? Did you like it? We just re-watched it.

I loved it a lot.

Yeah, I loved it. So it's polarizing because people will say, like, Daniel Craig's accent either drew them out of the movie. For me, it made the movie. I loved it. It was so fucking comical. You know, like, I like when actors take big, wild swings. And apparently, I guess that Daniel Craig, like, kind of just showed up to set with that accent. It was supposed to be, like, very, like, subtle. And he just had that big accent. They were like, well, we want Daniel Craig.

I love it.

I think it's great. Anytime an actor, like, um, I just watched The Wrong Missy with Lauren Lapkas.

Oh, yeah.

The David Spade movie. And Lauren goes, like, full, like, Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice, where it's just like, I'm gonna go for it. And she's stellar in it. Like, she stan- it's a total stand-up performance. Um, but I love any time an actor's just like, I'm just gonna go for it. Like, who cares? Fuck it. Get it. Get it, baby. Okay, we're going to go ahead and mention the other members. We do have to move on. I was going to do a bit where we made this a whole episode, but... How would we ever get this?

Would we have gotten these?

Can we have one more hint?

I guess I assume Erin would maybe a fan? Are these people famous in any other context? No. Okay. I don't think. So, Nick Lachey's brother, if an artist were to take a pencil and create something, this would be the past tense.

Drew Lachey.

His name is Sketch Lachey. No, no. No, his name is Drew Lachey. It's Nick and Drew Lachey. We also have founding member Jeff Timmons, or Jeff Timones, and Justin... And Donnie Pumbaa. And Justin Jeffery. Justin Jeffery? Justin Jeffery? J-E-F-F-R-E. Okay, well... Jeffery?

No idea. And I think that I Do song is the only song that I remember of theirs and I don't remember. I don't even remember how it goes. I do remember the video. They were had like open shirts and they were very flowy.

You're describing every John Woo movie. Let's get into our main riddies and buzzies. Hell yeah. We're going to go across the pond. This is an American tourist in London took a taxi cab. When he reached his destination, the tourist paid the taxi driver the fare, but he did not include a tip. The taxi driver was displeased and said something to the American that ruined his whole evening. The two men were strangers and they had never met previously. What did the cabbie say? 9-11 wasn't his side job.

That's it. Do you tip? In England, you do tip, right? Cabs? In England, you tip. In a lot of Europe, you don't. You don't. But you do tip in England? No, I was talking to someone the other day that said that they don't tip in England. Or maybe they're talking about Scotland.

I think England, it's not outright spoken, I guess. They won't automatically add gratuity, maybe, but you're supposed to, I believe. I was just in London and I tipped.

I've never been to London, so it's okay that I don't know this, because it's one of those things that I would research before I went.

Well, this cabbie's pissed, so clearly he was supposed to tip. So he was supposed to tip, okay.

Okay, so is it something to do with them driving on the other side of the road?

It's not. So an American tourist in London took a taxi cab. When he reached his destination, the tourists paid the taxi driver but did not include a tip. The taxi driver was displeased and said something to the American that ruined his whole evening. The two men were strangers and had never met previously. What did the cabbie say that ruined the American's evening?

Did the cabbie say the C word? Because it means something a little bit different there. And it's not okay to say, it's still not okay to say, but it does mean something a little different there.

All their comedians say it.

And if you watch, oh god, who was the guy that did Smash? Guy Ritchie? Any Guy Ritchie movie. You hear that a little more than you want to.

Guy Ritchie did something called Smash? Wait. Snatch? Snatch, oh my god. Smash is a CBS musical.

NBC about musicals.

Yeah, Guy Ritchie did that, right? Oh, you bloody wanker.

No, you know what he did? He did Aladdin and it was fucking terrible. He did, he did Aladdin.

Remember Vinnie Jones and NBC's smash? My name's Bullet Tooth Tony.

Do you know what Nemesis means?

Wait, I want to see a scene. I want you two to just be two guys that could be in any Guy Ritchie movie.

What do you mean, clean up the pig's filth?

When I say clean up the pig's filth, what I mean is be a good little tin soldier, grab the shovel, oi, and kill them pigs.

Oh, I understand what you mean, but it's still a pig pen. Even if I clean up the filth in the pig pen, it's still gonna be full of pigs. And they're bloody filthy creatures, aren't they? So isn't it gonna end up even more filthy?

Do you know what the word pig means? The word pig is Latin. Am I speaking pig Latin to you? Or you. Is that how I sound? Or you. Flip it into digits and vivic ribbit.

Hello, I'm the one lady in the movie, can I stay? Blam, blam, blam. I knew it, I knew it, fine.

Not a lot of women in the movies. Not a lot of women in a Guy Ritchie movie.

Not a lot of women in a Guy Ritchie movie.

Guy Ritchie directed a movie where like Charlie Hunnam is King Arthur and he's like using a sword. Mariah and I watched like 30 minutes of that. It was on some free app that we'd never heard of before. It was awful.

Jamie Foxx is the sheriff of Nottingham?

No, no, no, no. That's that's a different one. Oh my god. Or maybe he comes in more than 30 minutes later into the movie and he's in it. But this is like it's like Excalibur that sword of I can't remember. It was awful, but it was very much like a guy Richie directed like in his style, his conversational style, but in like olden times, it was weird. I don't think it did well.

I can't imagine it did. What do you think this cabbie said to this American?

Does it have something to do with the time difference? Did he ruin his evening by being like, your evening's already over. You're six hours later, dude.

It did not. What it had to do with, and this is an answer nobody would ever come up with, it did have to do with where he was dropping the man off at. Off it. Off it.

Wrong hotel.

No. Fucking him palace. Because then his actions would have pissed off the American versus what he said. So what could he have said after he dropped off this American that would have ruined his whole evening? I'll give you 10 more seconds and then I'm just going to say the answer because this is very convoluted. It's weird he dropped him off.

It was like a secret to something? Like he told him like he spoiled something for him?

Oh, Erin. Yes. Oh, did he spoil like the end of the Harry Potter play?

Or the play. Yeah, like the end of the play. Like the so-and-so dies.

100% you two just got it. Here's the answer. The American was going to a performance of the famous Agatha Christie play, The Mouse Trap. The taxi driver dropped him off outside the theater and then said, X did it, where X was the name of the murderer in the play. We cannot say over here X's name or we might ruin your future enjoyment of the play. That's very nice of them. I'm glad that that didn't include a spoiler.

Thank you for being so nice, Riddle.

Yeah, so you two got it where they did spoil the end of the play. And that is a play based off the board game? Yes, based off the Rube Goldberg board game mouse trap. I think what he said is the diver jumps in the bathtub. Also, I love that you said spoils the end of the new Harry Potter play because the end of the Harry Potter play is Voldemort killing Harry's parents. which is like the first chapter of book one so not really not really oh yeah because it's a prequel it is you can still get pregnant from a prequel yeah it can still get you pregnant it's a prequel sequel

Hit me with another riddle. I got it. I got this one. JPC, you're going to be so impressed with how fast I get it. This next one? I don't even need to be here.

Yeah. Okay, here we go. This one is called The King's Favor. When King Charles II of England, another English riddle. When King Charles II of England... Why are you surprised? You fucking picked him.

Wow! What are the chances?

Can I be honest? I was just trying to inject some classic Adal energy into the show.

You can't see this because we're recording it, obviously, and you could never see it even if we weren't doing it via zoom. But Adal's got a big wheel behind him full of riddles, and he just spins it every time.

That would be fun. Every 30 minutes I just like to be surprised or scream, wowee, just so I seem energetic. Wowee! When King Charles II of England visited a college at the University of Cambridge, he noticed a fine portrait of his father, King Charles I, hanging in the main hall. He asked if he could have it, but the ruling body of the college was very reluctant to part with it. At last, the king said that he would grant the college anything in his power if they would give him the portrait and that he would be very displeased and unhelpful if they declined his generous offer. The college elders accepted. What did they ask for in return?

The Painting Back.

Erin, I am amazed at how fast you got this. The college asked the king to return the painting in six months since this was clearly in his power, he agreed. Erin, true to your word, you Babe Ruth'd it, you called your own shot, you fucking nailed that one.

Wait, uh, I'm gonna win a million dollars. Right now. I'm gonna be a millionaire in 10 minutes. No, that's too much time.

Let's all check our phones. Okay, I don't see any breaking news or lottery updates.

Oh, I got a breaking news right here. Plane crashes into local woman's apartment. Oh boy.

Is that what... Oh, that's what that is. Okay.

Erin, what is that plane in the background?

Wait, there's a Hot Millionaire on the plane. Give me one second.

Give me ten minutes. Hot Millionaire parishes in one bad plane crash.

Man! Man! Speaking of Hot Millionaires dying in plane crashes, we're going to go to a quick break and we'll be right back with more Hot Millionaires.

I'm hot.

Hey, you. What is it in your mouth? Spit it out. Right now, you spit it into my hands. What are you eating? Oh my god, is this a fudge-sicle? Where did you get a fudge-sicle? You know what? It doesn't even matter. I don't want to know because you're never eating one of these again. The only thing that you are eating from now on is HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. That's right. HelloFresh lets you skip those trips to the grocery store and makes cooking at home fun, easy, and affordable. And not to mention, it's freaking delicious. And they offer a variety of recipes to choose from each week to help you break out of your recipe rut. And let's be honest, we all know you're in a recipe rut. You're eating fudgicles off the ground. You're an absolute slob. Well, no more. Not with HelloFresh. You can do something low-calorie, vegetarian, or family-friendly, and you can mix it up week after week. And also, it saves you time and stress, okay? HelloFresh offers contactless delivery to your doorstep for easy home cooking with the family, and it can save up to 28% by using HelloFresh versus your grocery store shopping trips.

28%! I've done the science! I've come to the numbers! That's the max! 28%!

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And we are back! And we're all hot millionaires and... Oh! What is that? What is that? Hold on, there's something... Hold on, sorry. There's something across the street from me. Is it a house fire or what's... It's a bunch of... It's like some sort of parade? We can't see it. A cheetah eating Toblerone. A penguin with a haircut.

A horsey with a better haircut.

A panther who just can't today. A horse with a mustache.

A monkey with a better mustache.

A goat who dates your mom now. A dog drinking lemonade.

A gazelle wearing prescription sunglasses. It's animal parade.

Thank you, Adal. You went with prescription sunglasses and not lemonade, as you're in the animal parade.

Lemonade was too on the nose for the rhyme. I wanted something fun, like a slant rhyme, like sunglasses and parade.

I got a question. Does this happen to anyone else when you're playing animal parade that you forget what kinds of animals there are and you also forget what are types of things people can do?

If someone went back and took all the animal parades, I think we've only done three or four, and took out the animals, I think we'd only have a stable of five that we keep reusing.

Yeah, but that's the same for like improv scenes and like general parenthesis.

Yeah, that's fair. And so we're going to do an animal parade segment in just a minute here. We do have to, a new thing I want to add is that at the end of the animal parade, when I say it's an animal parade, we all have to make the sound of any animal on three. Okay. Does everybody have an animal ready? Yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go. Do you need a refresher on what some animals are?

Yeah.

It has to be an animal that makes a noise.

I said spiders, Jason's a snake. I also said spiders. Yeah, I said spiders as well. I hissed like a spider. So this Animal Parade article was sent in by Nolan B. Nolan B is in New Orleans, so he is literally Nolan from NOLA. That is wonderful. If you have any Animal Parade articles you want to send our way, please send that to hrrpodcast at gmail.com with the subject line Animal Parade. Nolan sent us an article about monkeys in Florida, so let me read this article and then we'll discuss that and then we'll do an animal-related riddle. Louisiana slamming on Florida. I love it. Well, they're neighbors. This is from the Orlando Weekly. Headline is Florida's invasive herpes monkeys can now be found from Jacksonville to Tampa. Silver Springs State Park has been home to a large troop of invasive, STD-carrying monkeys for almost a century, but now sightings are becoming more frequent in Florida cities hundreds of miles from the park. According to a new report from First Coast News, the population of the Reese's Mon- Well, there's no wrong way to fuck a Reese's. We should say that. The population's not- Little monkey fact. The population of Reese's- Hold on.

There's a lot happening right now.

We all know there's no wrong way to fuck a Reese's. The population of rhesus monkeys has expanded considerably over the years, and the monkeys are now being spotted in northeast cities like St. John's, St. Augustine, Poltaka, Polotka, Wolotka, and Elkden. And as far as Apopka and Tampka, these all sound fake. Also, I just added a K to Tampa. The monkeys were originally part of a failed tourist attraction called Colonel Tui's Jungle Cruise in the 1930s.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Are we allowed to see scenes during Animal Parade? Absolutely. Okay, we're gonna see a scene. Adal, you are a monkey. You have made it to like, let's say, Daytona Beach. You're just a monkey on your own. You're gonna walk into a convenience store and try to buy a pack of cigarettes. Erin, you are working at that convenience store.

Can I get a scratch off and this five hour nature drink? And I guess just throw in some pommos. Yeah, can I see some ID? I owe you an ID? I owe you an ID, monkey humor. What else? Let me grab some of these Reese's. Oh, that's funny. Let me hold them up to my face. Can you tell us apart?

You should know that Reese's just came out recently. There is a right way to eat a Reese's. Oh, how's that? Like this.

Okay, you're putting it in your butt and then twerking. Hey, Michelle.

Can I talk to you, Michelle?

Me? Me, Michelle? Oh, snap. I think you're fired. No, no, no.

This is your second strike. This is your second warning.

What was my first warning? Remind me.

We just did this yesterday with the Reese's. You've got to pay for them if you want to eat them. I don't care how you do them. You can shelf them if you want to, but you've got to pay for them first.

Second warning. Fine. Okay, fine.

Sorry, sorry, sir.

Oh, no worries. Sir, can I see some ID for the cigarettes and the five-hour energy? You actually can't be over 20 to buy a five-hour energy.

Scene. That makes sense. I also want to see a scene. This is less of a scene and more of a commercial. Japes, I want to have you do a 30-second ad. This is a local Florida ad in the 1930s for Colonel Tooey's Jungle Cruise. In the 1930s? It's from the 1930s. Colonel Tooey's Jungle Cruise. Here we go in Florida.

Well, gather round your radios. It's me, Colonel Tewey, and I've got a new Jungle Cruise that you kids are sure to enjoy. Well, when you hear jungle and you hear cruise, what does that make you think of? A fan boat and a swamp? Well, that's what it is. But it wouldn't be a Jungle Cruise if there weren't monkeys with... STDs. That's right. These monkeys are all horny for each other and they're all full of infectious diseases. Do not touch the monkeys because a monkey bite will last all night and it won't do you right. So come on down to Colonel Tooey's and just take a left at the swamp and keep on swimming and we will and get on the fan boat and do not touch the monkeys and don't touch the blades.

Colonel Tooey? The Germans have invaded. That's also, you just mentioned something that would be a great addition to any animal parade, which is a monkey within STD.

Colonel Tui is definitely JP Riddle's uncle. I don't know why, but that doesn't sound like that's canon.

Oh yeah. I feel like also, I feel like maybe Colonel Tui is JP Riddle's son. Yeah. That gives us some insight into how ancient JP Riddles is. I feel like JP Riddles is like Nosferatu or something where he's just always been around.

If Colonel Tewey is a French colonel who's escaping World War II by moving to Florida and opening up at a monkey amusement park, then it makes sense that he's JP Riddle's connection with the family in some sort.

So what's the deal with these monkeys? Are they going to make their way up to Georgia? Are they just in Florida still?

They're in a Georgia state of mind. Monkeys are always in a Georgia state of mind. That's nature.

I would love to see monkeys take over Savannah.

Ooh, that would be charming.

Yeah, just like strolling about Savannah.

So what would a monkey have to do to acclimate to Savannah? Would they have to start- Confederate flags. Confederate flags. Confederate flags.

It's about the culture. It's about the culture. It's heritage. It's about heritage.

Oh, actually I just thought of a question. Sorry to backtrack slightly. Japes, you can answer this for us and only you can answer this. If JP Riddles bites someone, does that person turn into a JP Riddles? That person turns into a corpse.

Even if it's just like a bite on the toe? Yeah, it's like Last of Us. Like two hours later, you're fucking dead.

I got another question. Does JP Riddle show up in mirrors?

Yes. It's a long video. It's like a six-minute video. He's briefly in it. Justin Timberlake does a little dance, and then you can see JP Riddle's eating half a raccoon in the corner of the fridge. They couldn't cut it out. They only had that one shot of Justin doing that dance.

This actually brings, this is a segment Erin and I came up with just now in the moment. This is called Inside the Improv Studio. Of course Erin and I are joined here today by our guest JP Riddles. JP Riddles, how are you today?

A bit better!

So JP Riddles, what is your favorite curse word?

Miss Quick!

What's your favorite sound? Huh? What's your favorite sound?

No, I think it was huh.

I did it.

JP Riddles, what do you hope to hear? What do you hope the first words are you hear from God the moment you enter heaven?

Veto!

JP Riddles, what's your favorite smell?

Fart.

JP Riddles, if you could have coffee with anyone living or dead, who would you have coffee with?

Dead.

J.B. Riddles, if you had any advice for any young person who wanted to become an actor, what would you say to them?

Do not eat floor cheese.

J.B. Riddles, thank you so much for your time.

Where am I? Why have you probably here? Put me back in my hole.

I love if you could have coffee with anyone living or dead.

Dead. Is phenomenal.

Let's get into it.

I think I was 3 for 6 on funny answers to those questions. It's hard to do.

I think you were 6 for 6. That was a segment inside another segment, so we're getting very inception-esque. Before we end the Animal Parade segment, I do want to get to an animal-related riddle.

Oh yes, that's right.

We can try and solve that because that is, for now, that is part of the segment. May not always be, but for now it is. Here we go. Her mother rushes the girl to the doctor, but he is unable to remove the insect. Suddenly the mother has an idea. What is it? The insect is the doctor. What idea do we think the mom had to help remove the insect from the girl? First, what insect do we think it is?

Does the specific type of insect have to do with her solution? Like is it like a pun, like she get the buzzing out of her ears?

It's not a pun, but it does have some things to do with what type

Well, does it say it flew in or it crawled in or it got in?

Yeah, it says an insect flying into a girl's ear terrifies her.

So maybe it's a fly or a moth or something? What if you put like light on like a flashlight and it flies out to the light? Or like honey or something?

Erin, holy shit, you are butter because you are unsalted. She put the girl... What?

What?

Because you are a land of lakes. Erin, you are butter because every time you're gone, I'll miss ya. Nah, that was bad. Nice Amish pun.

You are butter because no, no, I'll get one. Give me like six minutes. Can we just sit in silence for six minutes while I go in?

Yeah, let's just sit in silence. Erin, you are butter because you are eight sticks for six bucks.

I am butter because a colonial woman made me with her arms. Being so strong.

That's nice, yeah I actually like that one. Erin you're like butter because right now it's your turn. So Erin you're dead on. She put the girl in a darkened room and placed a bright light near her ear. The insect emerged.

Okay, I'd like to see a scene. JPC, you are a bug who was just in a person's ear and we are all your friends and you're like coming home from a day of that happening and we're like not quite believing your story but you're trying in a panic to describe it to us. Hey dude, you're late to the bar.

Yeah, why are you late? I had the craziest fucking day. That's why I'm late.

First of all, we're doing good.

Oh, dude, shut up. Listen, dude. I'm late because I flew into someone's ear and I got stuck in there. Like a human's ear.

Dude, this might be a bug who cried ear situation because like you've been telling us the craziest shit for so long.

Dude, it's fucking not. I was in a human's ear. Ask me any question about the inside of a human's ear. Any question.

Todd, last week you said you were inside a chrysalis. I did! I did!

I got trapped in there! I got covered in sap!

Well, two weeks ago you said you were in a cocoon, so which is it, a chrysalis or a cocoon?

First of all, I wasn't in a cocoon two weeks ago because... You watched a cocoon? I got born out of it, because you know we all used to be caterpillars, and that's... Fair. Put that on God. Fair. That's a fact.

Todd, Mike got laid off today, and you're coming in here talking like you just want attention for being in someone's ear. Yeah, right. Once you go into an ear, you never come out.

That's not true. Ask me freaking anything about the ear. Mike, sorry to hear about your troubles, my man.

No, it's okay. They caught me praying on the job.

Oh, fuck those mantises, man. I hate those guys.

Any question about being inside of an ear? How waxy was it? Don't know. Too dark. Next question.

What's a brain smell like?

Don't know. Too dark. Next question. What's your favorite curse word?

Hmm.

This quick. What words do you want to hear when you enter heaven? Uh, too far to see. That was Animal Parade. Guys, would I be a naughty little boy if I did one more segment?

No.

I don't think so. You guys know me. This is Chiboy Adal. You know I love Halloween. I love all things spoopy. You guys know I love getting scared, right? You know that about me. Yeah, but I'm not seeing how this is going to connect to anything. Well, here's a brand new segment I'm going to introduce with a little song that goes like this. And maybe if you guys want to make some background noises that are spoopy and scary. Okay. Ghosts and ghoulies and skellies and bats. Poltergeist, witches, and even black cats. It's okay to be scared now. You'll poop your pants. Spooky spares.

Spooky.

I fucked it up.

I fucked it up. Spooky spares. I fucked it up.

I fucked it up. Spooky spares.

Casey, don't cut this out. Just make it louder. Ghosts and ghoulies and skellies and bats. Poltergeist, witches, and even black cats. It's okay to be scared now. Your pants, you will poop. For now is the time for this segment. Spoop Drew. It's a new segment called Spook Troop and here's what's going to happen for Spook Troop. What I'm going to do is I'm going to read a little spooky story I found on the internet. This is, of course, Casey cut that loop it and put it through the entire segment. So this is a real story. We would never use fake stories. These are all actual spooky stories.

If it's on the internet, it happened, folks.

It's real. So I'm going to read that and then we're going to discuss and maybe see a scene. Is that okay? And maybe even try and solve it. There's a bit of a mystery. We'll try and maybe solve that. So here we go. This is from a Redditor, Croyalbird13. Here is the Spook Troop story. One night my mom heard a crash noise in our kitchen, but figured I was up and dropped something. The next morning my dad walked downstairs and thought there was ice on the kitchen floor, but he said after looking at it, the ice wasn't melting. It was glass shards. They cleaned up the glass, which was on the floor, countertops, and even under the lip of the countertops along some of the drawers and cabinets. It was as if someone stood back and threw a glass object at the wall or something. We had no idea where it was from. The glass was too thick to be from any of the vases or glasses or even some bowls in the house. We had a huge family meeting in the kitchen trying to figure out what happened and where the glass came from. We still have no idea.

Uh, can I have a guess? Spoopy! First of all. That was a spoopy scary. Uh, first of all, spoopy. Spoopy scary, Adal. Okay, um, I think, uh, are we supposed to just solve what it was? Or, like, guess what it was?

It's just, it's, there's nothing to solve here because we can never know. Nobody can truly understand the supernatural.

I know what it is.

So it's all just discussion? Okay, you solved it?

I solved the spoopy scary.

Let's hear it, Erin.

What do you think?

I think a light bulb exploded.

Oh.

Wouldn't... Okay, so here's my... Shut up. And of course, hold on, we all know, of course, this is the first ever spook troop, but we all know how it goes, which is somebody puts forward an answer, and the other person has a rebuttal to try and poke holes in that answer.

Love it.

Was shut up the rebuttal? Yep. My question for both of you. If you were in your kitchen and you came in your kitchen and there was broken glass on the floor, would you be able to do a survey of the things that you have in your kitchen and figure out what it was that broke? Or do you have so much shit in your kitchen that you'd never be able to know what glass broke?

I have so much shit in my kitchen that I would not know what it was. But I would assume that it's something that broken is no longer in existence, so I wouldn't check what I had. And also... I do want to point out that they say that glass was too thick to be from some bowls. So if the glass was too thick to be from some bowls, what about the others that are lumped into that? Sounds like that's the answer.

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, if something broke in my apartment, I would be like, oh, it's the thing that's missing. It's this thing. Like, I would be able to figure that out pretty easily, I think.

How long would it take the two of you to figure out that glass shards is not ice? Because me, I'm gonna say instantaneously.

Well, how long have I been drinking it?

Oh, I'll just put some of this in there. What's the temperature outside? Is my drink cold? Well, let me put some of this glass in a highball and put myself in a bowl.

Well, what if you pee out the poison?

Erin, god damn it.

I like the dad coming downstairs in the morning like, there's ice in the kitchen. Ah, damn, ice. Doesn't try to clean it up. Just goes and sits down and watches like three hours of football. The mom's like, hey, there's fucking glass in the kitchen.

Hey Doug, you just sat down a candle next to all this glass. You're waiting for it to melt.

Everyone else do that thing when you accidentally hit the ice maker on your refrigerator and then some comes out on the floor and you just kick it under the refrigerator.

100%.

I have a dog. If any ice drops on my floor, it's gone in an instant.

That's treats.

Yeah, Lou likes ice too. I want to see a scene. Japes, you are Erin and I's father. You've called a huge family meeting because there's glass on the floor and you have issue with that.

All right, everybody. Family meeting. Family meeting. No. Jeff, what do we say about family meetings? We need to have our best attitude.

Yeah. Sorry.

Is that your best?

No.

No? Wanna try it again? Family meeting, everybody. Family meeting. Fuck yeah. Thank you, Jeff. Kelsey?

Can I keep watching Grey's Anatomy on my iPad?

As long as I don't catch you. If I don't see it, if I don't see it, nothing bad happens.

She just said she's gonna do it, this is fucked.

You don't know that, where's your proof? It's gonna be hard for her to do it now because I'm gonna be looking out for it.

Well, then I'm going to keep playing my Wii U. I can see that. It's a Wii U. Dad, I want to go to Wii U for university.

Okay. You're going to go to... Piss University. Yeah, sure. Listen, this is a family meeting. There's entirely too much glass on the floor of our house.

Why are your hands all cut up?

Because I'm an idiot and I thought it was ice and I was like, how do you make ice cream? You push a bunch of ice together from the floor, you stir it up in a bowl, that's ice cream. And I cut my hands up.

Dad, are you going back to work anytime soon?

I'll go back to work when I'm good and ready. Now you two kids have chores to do. What's the number one chore in that fridge? It's get John McClain out of this house. So I'm sick to death of seeing all this fucking glass everywhere. I want you to find him. I think he's in the vents. I can hear him banging around in there. The vents! The vents. The vents. And I want you to get him out of this house.

Hey Dad, can I say something? Sure. Last night I heard you on the phone talking to Uncle Dusty and you said the number one chore in this house was fucking your wife.

Okay, yes, you did hear me talking.

Why'd you say that about mom?

Well, I mean, canonically, your mom is, she's long gone. Not deceased, she just remarried John McClain. Her name is Holly, she's very happy with him. I want you kids to do your chores.

Pick me, choose me, love me.

No, I'm not.

That line's not from Grey's Anatomy. Denny died? Denny just died on Grey's Anatomy. I'm not watching it.

Denny better be that cop that's helping John McClain. That's who Denny better be. Hey Dad. Denny died.

Hey Dad. Yes Jeff. This weekend can I go see a concert? It's Vanilla Glass.

Jeff, you're too clever for your own good. You're too clever by half my boy.

When historians find this, Dad, what do you think they'll say this scene was about?

I think that they'll say that three people had their own ideas of what this scene was about.

That's a great description of the show is three people's ideas never coming together. How about one more, Riddy? I'll hear it. I'll hear it.

Well thank you for the spooky stories.

Oh yes, this is the end of Spook Troop. If you have any spooky articles about Spook Troop, of course send those to hrrpodcast.gmail.com and maybe we'll do some more in the future. Spooky. Spooky. Here's our next and last riddle. John was employed by the Air Force during wartime to detect... Oh shit. Don't cut this out. This is a new segment I like to call Reversal, where I read the answer and you have to guess the question.

Yay! Okay, let's do it.

No, I didn't hear it. Just read the riddle. I totally fucked this up. Here's the riddle. John was colorblind. Because of this affliction, he landed an important job. What was it? He was colorblind, so he landed an important job? Yep. John was colorblind. Because of this affliction, he landed an important job. What was it?

What if you heard the answer?

Yeah, I was going to say, I'll give you a hint. It's what I said. All I heard was military. Well, well, well, okay. Well, then I think you have your answer.

John was in the military?

Yeah, but there's something specific that goes with it. Do you want to try and guess the full answer? Fuck. Erin, you can chime in with what you heard to try and help suss it up.

I heard Air Force.

Mm-hmm. That is correct.

Turns out that's correct. John was colorblind, and so he landed a hand job in the Air Force.

So what could someone who's colorblind do in the Air Force? I'm pretty sure... Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure people who are colorblind cannot be pilots.

That's true. I think that that's one of the things, if you're, if you have a colorblind or if you don't have like 20-20 vision, like if you wear glasses, I don't think you can be a pilot either.

Um, so if he's not a pilot, what else would he be doing that would help out the military?

Uh, clean up the shit, like mop the poop deck.

Yeah, okay. Of course, all planes have poop decks. It could be a drone pilot. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Erin, any guesses?

Air Force. He was in the Air Force.

That's correct, but why? Refuel the ships on the... Refuel the jets on the ships. Okay, so the answer is he's on the Air Force. He's the guy who screams, get off my plane.

He is the... I don't know. What are other jobs in the Air Force?

This is a hyper-specific job that would only be done by someone who's colorblind. So this is like a job they created for him, or if anybody else had it beforehand, they were also colorblind because of the needs of this job.

Like a red and green thing?

Like an infrared thing?

Yeah, he's helping find the plane during Christmas.

Is it like Night Vision?

No, that wouldn't make any sense. It's somewhere in that realm. It definitely has to do with Vision.

Oh, he's Vision's assistant for the Avengers?

Yes, of course. Vision is some sort of synthetic robot. We don't trust him, even though he has a soul stone.

We are going to see a quick scene, real quick, departure from this riddle that we kind of half heard the answer to. Adal, you're going to be playing Vision. Erin, it's your first day as Vision's personal assistant.

Great.

Please come in. Welcome to my house.

Oh my God, I just spilled coffee everywhere. Oh my God, I'm so nervous. I'm so sorry.

It's fine. You do not ruin my skin as I am not able to be burned.

I'm sorry. Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions before we get started?

I would only expect you to. Please answer away.

Sorry, sorry.

Ask away. I'll answer away. Malfunction. Program. Vision. Resetting. Reboot. Set. Vision. Go ahead.

Um, your whole thing is like being kind of boring, right?

No, that's more of Hawkeye's thing.

Well, no, I feel like it's more like... Sorry, that's my roommate, Hawkeye. And the woman that you're with, right?

Scarlet Witch.

Yeah, she had an accent and then suddenly she didn't...

Yes, I believe she was Eastern European and then she dropped that in the subsequent movies.

Yeah, why?

No one ever talks about... Um, I'm not sure. That's not for me to know.

And you have that yellow stone in your head and you're sort of, you never really get your own movie because you're boring.

Well, I'm not, I'm not boring, but the stone does bore into my forehead. I call it a bore head sometimes.

When you disappear, no one really cares.

This is an aloe plant.

Of course, I never need to cut off a leaf because again, like I said, I can't be burned. This is a bone's eye.

No, it's just nothing. It just feels like sort of like you'll never carry your own movie.

Has anyone seen my bow?

Is Hawkeye staying with you? That feels sad.

As I mentioned, he's my roommate. Now, can I ask you, Rogue, why you're here?

Tell me about some of your abilities, Rogue. It was in the fridge. I put the bow in the fridge. How did your bow fit into the fridge? It's a collapsible.

I'm gonna head out. Okay. I'm gonna see if Captain America's ass needs, uh, assistant.

Ass-assistance. Hahaha. See ya, Riddle. Are you still dating Gambit?

Trying to!

Let's see.

Do the Gambit voice.

You're welcome, America. What about the time when the mud dogs came back and won the bourbon ball? Come to the back of the Tony Stark. I don't know, what's this fucking job that somebody in the military has where you have to be colorblind for it?

Camouflage is designed to fool people with normal vision. People who are colorblind are much better at spotting differences in the texture and shading of landscape.

Adal, how sad is it that you read the answer to us and we still didn't get it?

I think it's ableist to call it normal vision.

Well, who knows when this Riddle book was written. And of course, this is the end of- Well, there's normal vision and there's what you have. And this is 1961 and the world will never get better. Of course, we end every episode with plugs, but with four plugs, of course, we do have to have the two of you repeat the four members of 98 Degrees.

No! Nick and Drew Lachey.

Justin Jeffries. Justin Jeffries.

That's it. That brings to a close number "#98." Any plugs? Erin.

I would like to play a couple things. Let's go to your computer right now, or your phone, and check out some of our new Etsy merch. We got a couple of prints or posters and some pins, some enamel pins and some regular pins. We will link that in the description to the episode. I think you can also find it on our Instagram. And they're created by... And they are really beautiful.

I was just going to say, front of the show, Ray Glass made them. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off there.

No worries. And also follow us on Patreon at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. We have all sorts of bonus content over there, including a bunch of fun livestreams we've done during this lockdown that I think are really great and worth it.

Do you have anything you want plugged? I'm still streaming on Twitch. You can find me over there, twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman. And if you haven't done it, we would really appreciate it if you went onto iTunes and gave us a review. It's pretty quick. It's simple to do. It helps people find the show. So if you've already told all of your friends about the show, the four people that you still have in your fucking life, loser, then tell some strangers about it. And it does help us. There's algorithms involved, and then more people will find the show, and that's great.

And what are you currently streaming on Twitch?

It's the last of us right at the time of this recording, but by the time this is out, it'll be something else.

I don't know what it's going to be yet. Nobody asked me, but I'll go ahead and mention my plugs. Adal! I was recently a guest on a podcast called Podcast Reviews Reviews Podcast. So check out my episode and all the other episodes of that show. Absolute blast to do that. Also, like Japes was saying, please leave us a review. Word of mouth is how we get new listeners. So please tell everyone you know. If people are looking for a podcast, please mention us. Please tweet about us. Please review us and get the name out there. And that only helps us stick around longer. Because right now we're coming to a close. Right? We said next week last up.

There was someone who said something like in a discord or something about how like it was like episode seven you said this was gonna be the last episode and they were like oh I believed him. I believed that this was actually so just so everyone knows. I think people also believe that I died they're very upset. Yeah that's uh that's not it's when the show's not coming to a close just just to throw that out there. Unless. Unless. No no no no.

And Casey, thumbs up, thumbs down. Is your audio on? Are you able to talk? Thumbs up, thumbs down. Casey is able to talk. Casey, this is a first ever segment where we check in with Audio Daddy. Do you have any plugs, Casey?

Do I have any plugs? Neoscum is on the hiatus right now, but we've got a bunch of stuff on Patreon if people are listeners. Who's gonna sign up for the Patreon if they're not already a listener? This is a dumb plug. Other than that, yeah. Great. First and last time I'll ever let Casey plug something. Yeah, Last of Us is good. Play Last of Us 2.

Casey, my friend, you showed me that I should never let you do plugs again. Hey, thank you. Happy to hear.

Happy to hear. The real lesson is never surprise someone to promote something.

I want to plug my family. They're all really nice.

I went up to a guy who had lied at the grocery the other day. I go, hey, what are you promoting right now? He was like, nothing.

I'm just checking out. I'm sorry, let me text Arnie Parrott real quick to see if he has anything to plug. And we're waiting. Erin, while we wait, of course, a phone signal has to bounce off a certain thing to come back before I get that text.

That thing the phone signal bounces off of is... My face! Jupiter. Bye forever.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starting Erin Keif. and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney could be editing.

That was a Headgum podcast.