Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Hey! Oh, something more goes fish. It was the cat end of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice cream. And the horse ceased riding.

Hello. Well, hi. Hi. It's a it's a podcast. It's been a while. I can't remember the name of this show. Someone help me out. This is... Should've stretched before we started. This is Dr. Giggles. Can people see me? What is this? What is this?

Can people touch me? No. Dr. Funny Comedy.

Dr. Funny, Dr. Funny Comedy. Is that the name of the podcast?

Wait a minute. It's coming back to me. Old man puzzles.

Yes.

Yes. DPC police horse. Oh man, it's all coming back.

Hey! Oh, yeah. Wait, I think I had something with Dr. Funny Comedy. I think we have a theme song. It's very catchy. It goes, Dr. Funny Comedy, 10 cc's of laughter in your ass.

Dr. Funny Comedy, 10 cc's of laughter in your ass.

Artie Parrott's a genius.

He's so good.

Wait, Artie Parrott. Hey Riddle Riddle. Holy shoot, that's the name of the show. This is Hey Riddle Riddle. We're Hey Riddle Riddle.

I'm Abdul Magash. That I am sure is correct.

I think I'm AOC. Does that sound right?

I think I'm the one who's the woman.

I'm the lady.

I'm the Danny DeVito one.

You're the Danny DeVito one. God, it feels good to be back. We're back! If you're listening to this, we are back in the studio.

Well, we're back in separate studios. Here's the thing. We've been releasing on schedule. We haven't missed a single episode. Brand new episodes every week, baby. But that's because we stockpiled like 15 episodes back in February or something.

Because?

Because we are profits.

Because Adal was supposed to go on a trip.

Casey and I were supposed to go to Japan, not together, separate trips. Which is true. You both booked separate trips to Japan for the same amount of time. We talked about maybe meeting up, but we also were on vacation. I don't want to see people I know. That's the whole reason I'm getting out of this fucking place. But yeah, so this is our first time recording since everything and it's new to us and hopefully it sounds pretty good, but we're all in our closets.

So we want to apologize for maybe it being very surreal, the last month and a half, two months of listening to our show. Because we recorded before most of this happened. So it must have been really strange.

And we want to take this time to apologize for any flippant jokes we made. Our lawyers told us we need to get that out in the open, get ahead of it. So we do apologize for killing cats in our last episode.

If we're doing this like Catholicism style, I'll go ahead and apologize for everything bad I've ever done in my life. I'll go ahead and get Absolution, and then I'll go ahead and snort cocaine off her rhinoceros' dick and like, keep being fucking bad as hell. You're gonna drink Savatka? Absolution? No, that way. I have six years sober, so I can't do that.

You guys, I have two things I want to tell you.

Yes. Yes.

Number one, right before we recorded this, I burnt the shit out of my mouth with a cookie.

And I think it's bleeding a little. I have to ask, was it hot? Was it a hot cookie?

No, and I need your help because I think the devil is in for the things I'm baking.

I bought these Oreos. I bought these Oreos, they scalded my mouth. I think my mouth is the entrance to hell.

Here's my recipe for hot Oreos. Buy a pack of Oreos, put them in the oven 500 degrees for 81 minutes.

Then let them sit in the sun. You're not done yet.

Hey Eugene, I don't want to be troublesome, but can I get a hot Oreo? Adal and I did have deep fried Oreos once and they were delicious. We had those in Nashville. Nashville, yeah.

That sounds really good.

I bought an order of like three and then I was like oh no and then I think I ordered ten more. Yeah.

The second thing I want to tell you guys and I know this is gonna sound really weird. But I am so excited to do Riddles. I am so happy to be back doing Riddles. I haven't done one in two months. I think I'm going to be great. I think I'm going to kill it. I can't wait. I'm turning over a new leaf. This is episode seven, Erin. She's energized. I am back.

Hold on. Hold on a second. Japes, I see what's going on.

Japes, I see what's going on.

Hold on. Hey Sean, can you go get Erin?

Oh, you wanted Erin?

Yeah, Sean.

Oh, oh my god. Okay, sorry, we forgot which one of us did the podcast.

Hey, hey Sean, the impression? It's getting very good. It's getting very good. Except for Sean.

Sean, I do want to say, um, cookies aren't usually... Couple notes, Sean.

Cookies aren't hot.

John, I know that you think cookies are hot. I know you think that women are sensitive, but that doesn't imply hot cookies burn mouths.

Wait a minute. Door sound. Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk over. Oh, you're cooking. In a walk?

Chinese?

Oh my god, is this Hey Riddle Riddle? Are we back to recording this? Oh, Erin, hey. Oh my god. I have been loving not doing riddles.

I was about to say, Erin, the lockdown has affected us all in a myriad of terrible and horrible ways, but restoring your faith in riddles has to be, bar none, the worst thing that I've ever heard. We have to do it.

The worst thing that I've ever heard was the haircut I gave Sean two weeks ago.

No, did you really?

I cried. Guys, I sobbed after I gave him the haircut. You cried? I cried. He was like, it's fine. It's okay. It's fine. And I was like, I am so sorry. You should be mad at me for four days.

Was it clippers and scissors or just scissors or what?

Just clippers and... Oh, just clippers. That's the one option I didn't give.

I'll send you a picture. Just clippers for haircuts.

How are you guys? Did you miss Riddles?

I missed you guys. We talked a lot. We've had a lot of text chains going, a lot of checking-ins. We've seen each other in person a little bit, but we kept our distance, of course. Always play it safe. But yeah, it's so weird and cool and wonderful to be back recording with you.

Adal's engaged. And I'm engaged. Yeah, shit, that happened during this.

Yes, a wizard took me hostage. He put me in his dungeon and put a wand to my head and made me marry his dragon, so now... I know that a lot of people have heard the story, but Adal, you should tell it for the people who are... Yeah, so we were going to, like we mentioned, I was going to go to Japan with Gemma, and we rented, I think it's called an onsen? Hey Riddle! I set out like 20 puzzles that the answers to a lot of the puzzles were like stuff that have meaning to us and a lot of moments in our in our relationship over four years and then it ended with me so each puzzle led her to a different new puzzle in a new area of the apartment and then finally I just handed her a Cryptics which is like what they use in DaVinci code and it had a six letter combination and that's a little flail that the guy beats his back with exactly yeah okay yeah And I handed it to her and I go, forget all the other riddles. This has a six-letter solution, and if you can't figure it out, we should not get married. And she immediately took it and put in my wife, and it opened. And I was like, it's meant to be.

Your engagement was sponsored by our show. You should mention that.

It's branded content for our show. It's funny, I posted a tweet about it. I took a picture of the Cryptics that says my wife in her hand with a ring, and I was like, Making a joke about what I did and then so many people in the comments were like I'm so sorry to like ruin this moment but I can't help but hear my wife in a Borat voice and that's all I can hear and I'm like yeah that's the fucking bit.

Also, you set up an escape room, but there's no escape because it's marriage.

There's no escape.

And you're together forever.

That's not true.

That's my stand-up from the 80s.

I set up a no escape room.

Just like with an escape room, you could always yell at God to end it.

Can I have a clue?

Can you get a fucking clue?

Can I get a hint?

Can we hear some more of your 80s stand-up?

Oh, my wife is the worst. You know what I hate about my wife? She loves me and supports me and does most of the labor in our relationship. And I'm like, stop doing all the labor and make me french fries, woman!

My wife gave birth, and afterwards the doctor came out and he goes, it wasn't a delivery. It was the Giorno's!

Hey, I'm wearing leather.

Hey, stop me if this sounds like anybody you know. Anybody out here got a wife? Got a loving and supporting partner who you cherish and you want to spend all your time with?

Stop. I was following your instructions. Guys, here's a thought. Here's a good stand up bit. Do we think if the NFL is cancelled this season, do we think the puppy bowl goes in? The NFL's cancelled? What do they do? What do they say? Oh no.

I'll have a puppy bowl in my apartment. I'll just capture a bunch of animals off my balcony.

These puppies have been training for this day. I think they're gonna play the whole season.

I honestly like, one thing that I think is like, The only sports that can happen anymore are esports, so we should still have the Super Bowl, we should still have football, but what we should do is we should have those same football players playing their characters in Madden 2020 or whatever and just watch that. Everything should just be digital now.

Let's just do it all digital.

It's in the game. It's in the game!

I decided that I want someone to completely remake Friday Night Lights, but it's all puppies.

Jesus Lord almighty.

Can you imagine?

It's still called Friday Night Lights?

Friday night lights? No. Okay, so we have Tim.

Tim, instead of Tim Riggins, it's gonna be Tim Ruffins.

No, I got it.

Instead of Tim Riggins, it's Tim Riggins. Oh no, it's Rin Tin Tim Riggins.

It's Who's a Good Tim Riggins. Who's a Good Tim Riggins?

That's fantastic. I guess, should we get into the episode?

I can't wait! Oh JPC, how are you? Are you okay?

As everyone can see, we're all still insane.

You're okay JPC, right?

Yeah, blink twice if you're okay, JPC. Yeah, I mean, obviously it's just been, we've been kind of like, cooped up. It's been like, what, eight weeks now or something crazy like that? Of lockdown. So, it's just, you know, it's such a weird time to be alive. But I'm grateful that I'm alive. Cool. Big same. Okay, but yeah, this is a Riddle podcast, not a current events podcast.

We're not skewering the news. Yeah, we're not a documentary on sincerity, so let's knock it off.

So, who is Old Man Puzzles for this episode? I believe I am Old Man Puzzle.

The original!

What if we had forgot to discuss it? It's been so long, it's like, who's Old Man Puzzle? So then we just like spend 45 minutes being like, uh.

And we all gasped like Casey to be like, Casey, you were the one who was supposed to do the riddle.

This was your job. Kacey, you're supposed to record it, set up our equipment, and do the riddles! That's your job!

Oh my god guys, we're repiloting. This is our repilot. We're five seasons in, we're repiloting. So it's like the first episode all over again.

So I'll become a villain?

No. Yes. I'll become a good guy. Oh shit, I did want to do something. There's something quick. We can do this very quickly. It's just something we do have to get out of the way because I believe this is episode 95 and 100 is coming up in five weeks. So this is something I just need to do real quick. I prefer to do it on air just so there's record of it. Erin, do I have your attention here? Cool. We're coming up on 100 episodes. That does mean that I have to do some performance reviews. How do you think you've been doing in the podcast so far?

Um, okay. Uh, that's definitely a question.

Okay.

And the answer is... Um, I thought I would just get points from knowing that was a question. Great.

We'll give you 10 points.

And, uh, where do you see your... I think I'm doing, I think I'm doing okay. Um.

Okay.

Erin, you're doing a lot of physical comedy right now.

Nobody can see you. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think I'm doing pretty good. I'm bad at riddles, but I make up for it with how often I interrupt people when they're speaking.

Yeah, you're the one who does that. Great. And where do you see yourself in 100 episodes?

I see myself in jail for JPC's murder. I can do it.

Does that mean you murder JPC or you take the fall for someone JPC murders?

Yes.

Okay, I'll keep it internal. JPC, have a seat buddy. How you doing? Sure. Yeah, thank you. So I just wanted to- Is this water for everybody? No, that's my water. I keep it in a pitcher because I need a lot. And I keep two glasses because I refuse to drink from the same glass twice. Power move. Sure. How do you think you've been doing on the podcast so far?

Oh, I don't care.

Okay. Alright, that's why we love you baby.

So, Adal, if I'm meant to understand this, JPC just got a 200% raise after that meeting? What does it take to get ahead and corporate America as a lady? Is this corporate America?

He got ten Ford Taurus's. I gave him ten Ford Taurus's.

Yeah, and I invested those Fort Taurus's and now I'm ruined. How do you invest in Fort Taurus? I don't know. I won't know. How do you invest a car like the Taurus?

You guys, I was gonna be different this time around. I was gonna be better. I was gonna be funnier.

You ruined it. This is fun.

Does everyone feel appropriately gaslit? Let's go.

Does everyone feel like they're the victim here?

Alright, we're ready to start. We have to all feel indignant and then we can start the episode with full incredulity. Here we go.

We all think that we're the one who's the most underrated.

We all privately text Casey, can you believe this shit? Let's do some warmies. These are some warm up riddles. Remember those? So we'll do a few of these back in the day. Speaking of back in the day, this is from a very old joke book I found that at an antique store while antique shopping with my mom, which is one of our favorite pastimes, and from a while ago, don't be concerned. And I guess this is all I like now.

Yeah, if we're talking about being outside, just assume that was a long time ago.

It's so weird that this is our life now that I have to like mitigate the reaction to be like, just so you know, because people will be outraged.

People's entire stand-up sets at this point, it's just like, it's garbage because it's always a lie when someone in stand-up is like, so last night me and the wife were at Chili's. And so now people are like, so nine weeks ago, being like, what, no, no, no, no, no, 10 weeks, 10 weeks ago.

Maybe even a little more because we were really on top of it.

Three months ago, this guy's washing my window, and I'm like, hey buddy!

I gotta do stand-up tomorrow.

Fuck, fuck, okay. Last year this asshole was, that guy's very sick. Oh, I'm so nervous. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Here's some warm-up riddles. Here we go. There's one thing that no one knows any more about, no matter how much it is looked into. What is it? JFK's assassination.

I mean, you're not wrong. The Pruder film. There's one thing that people don't know anything more about no matter how often it's looked into?

The answer to this riddle.

I want to see a scene.

Oh, already?

We're getting into it hot and heavy. This is like a sixth grade sleepover. I want to see a scene... Which was a long time ago. Which was a long time ago. Last time I was at a sixth grade sleepover, it was nine weeks ago. JPC, you are the FBI's foremost expert on the JFK assassination, and you are close to solving it. You have brought in someone who's presumably an expert, who is played by Erin, but Erin, you forgot to do any research, so you're trying to fake your way along with the JFK assassination info.

I think we're close.

I know it wasn't us because I'm the FBI so it couldn't have happened on my watch.

Thank you by the way for coming in. I think that this is the final piece to this puzzle.

I went to elementary school with him and you can ask me any question and I'll let you know how I, what do I know, how I know it, you know.

Okay, great. And just so we're clear, I didn't bring you in simply because you were to elementary school.

No, no, I'm also an expert.

You need to be for this too.

Honda Accord, yep.

Okay, great. Honda Accord, good. So we think that there was either a grassy knoll or a shot from the No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to jump over you. Please tell me.

No, no, no, I'm just, we're both on the same page and we both know the same amount, so I just... Yeah, Grassy Knoll.

Grassy Knoll, I did that one. And then go ahead and ramble off into the three possible.

You probably got the bookshelf.

The bookshelf?

Yes.

One shot could have gone for the bookshelf, inside the book repository, of course. And then another shot could have potentially come from...

And if you were to guess, like maybe... Inside the... Inside the house. Inside the house. Inside the membrane. What were you going to say?

No, I was going to say inside the membrane, a Cypress Hills song that hasn't been invented yet.

We were both saying that. I love the shot came from inside the body. Maybe the bullets were exploding out of him?

I think he planted it there earlier that day.

Those bullets went out of there. Just because I really enjoyed that dynamic, I want to immediately see a brand new scene. This time, Erin, you own an operated dress barn, and JPC, same situation, you come in thinking, you know how to shop for a dress, and you have no clue what you're doing.

So, welcome in. What size are you looking for today?

Well, she's a teenager. My daughter's going to an after prom.

She needs a dress for an after prom.

She already got the prom dress. She said she could do that herself and I said dad's still gonna be helpful so I was gonna get her an after prom dress. So she's 17 years old. She's a woman-shaped She's blossomed, if that matters.

I wish that I was doing more of the talking here. Sure.

Sure, yeah. 100%. But I actually know a little bit about dresses because I'm a veterinarian, so I have dressed many horses for war.

Alright, what's your favorite cut of dress?

What's my favorite cut of dress?

Horse or person? Neither. Dress. Your favorite cut of a dress.

I'll play it safe and I'll just say barn.

Okay, does she want like a fitting flare, or like an A-line dress, or like a sweetheart neckline?

I think that she should try to fit as many flares in there as she can, because if she's gonna get into trouble, she's gonna want to shoot one of those things off. And I don't mind an A-line as long as those boys B-line the hell away from my daughter.

See, I love that putting you in a scene with the word barn is like putting Mark Price at the free throw line. This is easy money to be like, oh barn that means a horse can be involved and of course my cousin is a horse.

Not only have we not done this podcast for two months we also haven't done improv for two months and let me tell you it is making me a worse person.

I've got invites to do like to do like zoom improv and I'm like absolutely not.

Yeah. That can't translate. I kind of put my foot in my mouth the other day because we were talking to a person who was saying that they had been teaching improv online. I'm sorry, they did not say that. I said that there was an offer to teach improv online and I was like, oh no, I don't want to do that. That sounds awful. I don't know how I could make that engaging if I was doing that. It would be so different that it wouldn't be the experience that people want when they I've been doing shows for Sean at night, improv shows for him.

Just in the bedroom? That's hilarious. And you did some Zoom improv, right? How did it go? Not as fun as doing it in real life, but I've seen people successfully do it. So if you're doing it, there's definitely a way, but it's definitely hard.

People don't know this, but that Middle Dish and Schwartz show that came out on Netflix was all done via Zoom.

Oh wow.

Yeah, those two were never in the same room together.

That's why Middle Dish keeps forgetting everyone's names.

Wow, shots fired.

Shots fired.

Tag him, tag him in it.

Here we go. There is, no please don't. There's one thing that no one knows any more about no matter how much it is looked into. What is it? An above ground pool.

How does it work? How do they get the water above ground?

I forgot that ICP sound. and sing Fun Posse song that there's the above ground pools. How do they work? How do they work? What do we think?

Can you give us a hint?

A mirror. The past. Japsey just nailed it. By throwing out random answers, it is a mirror. Pretty good.

Can I tell you guys that I have been Twitch streaming during this lockdown, and I've been Twitch streaming The Witcher 3, which is one of my favorite games of all time. Twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman, if anyone wants to hang out. But one of the things, one of the DLCs, the downloadable content for that game, like the second one, is called Hearts of Stone. And the very last boss, his name is Master Mirror, and he gives you a mirror riddle that you have to solve in game. And while I was playing it, people were like, you should do this on the show! And I was like, I feel like the answer to every riddle is mirror. It would be solved immediately.

I was playing, I beat God of War, the newest version of it on PS4. Oh yeah, that's fun. And throughout there's all these riddles, so I'm like, oh fuck, I should be writing these down to use in the show. But the answer to everyone was like, earth, a cloud. And I was like, this is the most basic fucking answer.

All riddles suck, but that's what the show is.

I'm re-energized about riddles. Don't bring me down yet.

Oh, that's true. I'm sorry. And riddles are still good and the world is pure.

Here we go. Here's another warm-up riddle. What two vegetables begin and end with the same two letters in the same order? What two vegetables begin and end with the same two letters in the same order? Not so much a riddle as like fucking figure it out.

The same two letters in the same order, like eggplant would begin with E-G and it would be something that ends with E-G or G-E. Correct. E-G, same order.

E-G, E-G. And each one follows that rule, but they're not the same letters, if that makes sense.

Got it. So, first one right out the gate, gotta say banana. And I would say that for this to work- Wait, you said a banana?

For this to work, I'm gonna have to change reality as we know it.

Hey babe, can you toss me a banana?

I would say watermelon.

Water Melrose?

Two fruits! If you're gonna make this joke, at least have to be vegetables.

Water Melwa?

Do the work, JPC.

Strawberries? Oh, shit.

No, they're still fruit. These are vegetables. These are vegetables. I'm so sorry.

I hope you don't mind. I brought in some strawberries.

Lettuce-la.

Lettuce-la. Lettuce-la. Oh, God.

Potato-po.

Potato-po. Carrot-co. These are easy. Radish. Garlica.

Garlica. My favorite 80s video game. Garlica.

Radishra. I don't know, what the fuck would these even be? I don't know, just keep saying fucking vegetables. Are these common vegetables? Very common.

Would I find these in the baker's box? I'd say these are two of the most common vegetables.

Well, we already said carrot, so you're lying.

Tomato? No. That's so close, though. Tomato? Potato. Well, if you say tomato, you're right.

Tomato, toe.

If you say tomato, you're correct. Oh, tomato, yes.

Mm-hmm.

I can't believe I did potato-po instead of tomato.

All right, so tomato and... Oh, man.

So this is something that would be in a mirepoix. And a Jamiroquo video? To go off the last, the answer to the last one was a mirror, and we have something called a mirepoix, which involves some vegetables. What's a mirepoix? I have no idea what the fuck that is. I don't know, what's a mirepoix with you? Is that like a cornucopia?

Squash!

No, it's not. Mirepoix is what chefs use. It goes into a lot of Cajun cooking, where it's like the base for a lot of dishes.

We gotta hear Adal talk about fucking Orleans again.

It is onion. Wow.

Of course, as per rule on this show, anytime someone says the word onion, Erin jumps on a surfboard. It's not as much of a rule as you guys made me go to a hypnotist with you and you never did it.

Yeah, but you said afterwards that ruled.

I mean, it's the best one. See, I mean one that this is all right. Well, watch this. Broomstick. Watch what JPC does.

Dad? Dad, you're so cold. Oh my god, no, dad!

Wait, I guess JBC doesn't do it anymore.

Are you okay? He just noticed that his dad is sitting next to an open window?

And this is what the hypnotist did to Adal. Lambshade.

Hello, my name is Larry Faberry and I drink Febreze and I'm married to a horse. Damn it.

Wow, that hypnotist sucks.

He panicked. He panicked during Adal's. He was like, I don't know what to make him say.

He was like, I thought I'm going to do two. I thought I'm going to do two really great ones.

I want to zoom hip to this. You're getting sleepy or is this frozen? Can you see me?

Are you kidding me? You're buffering? You're buffering?

Giles, here we go. Here's another warmie. This is going to be our last warmie. Okay. And again, this is not so much a riddle as it is just like tossing out some knowledge. Can you name eight different subjects taught in school or college that end in ICS? No.

Wait, I.C.S.?

I.C.S. So you need to name eight different subjects taught in school.

Mathematics.

It says school or college, which to me, college is. College is a school. It's a version of school. Maybe, I'm crazy. Erin, you said mathematics. That is one of them. I'll say physics. That is number two.

Classics.

That is not on here.

That's what my sister majored in. I guess it's not real. Still proud of her, everybody?

Uh, phonics. That is not on here.

I'm hooked on that stuff. Um, I'm addicted. Is that from your 80s standard? Yeah, you guys, I'm scared. I'm addicted to phonics.

We do. So you have mathematics and physics. Um, Spanishics. This is the vegetables all over again. Just shoe hoarding in the rule.

P-X. Okay, what are some other things? There's like history, but that X with history or social studies or something like that, that won't work.

This is hard. I don't know what might be.

Grammar, English. Here's what I'll say. We can move on if you get four of the eight. Literature, it wouldn't be anything like that.

It wouldn't be... Architecture, physical ethics.

It wouldn't be physical ethics. Ethics is one of them.

Now we have three out of eight. Not physical education. Not physical education, but... Gymnasium.

Aerobics. Aerobics?

Maybe we drop that education and shorten. Did we already say physics? Yeah, I'm just helping you out. Okay. Don't forget the past. I'm showing you where you've been.

That's true.

So we have ethics, mathematics, and physics. There's five more floating out there. Civics. Civics is number four. We're on a roll, so let's keep going. Trivics. Trail mix. Act Trivics.

Lyrics. Politics. Politics.

Politics is not on here.

It's political science.

Is lyrics on there? Lyrics is not on there.

I went to college and I majored in rap changes.

Theatrics. So let me give you some clues.

Oh Erin, that's good. I like that one.

Erin, that's very close, but they might have another term for it. Academics? No. Theatrics is the right wheelhouse, but you have to rephrase it. Dramatics? Dramatics. Also, JPC, this is what I would have assumed you majored in in college, just based on knowing your personality and what you enjoyed.

Being a butthole.

That is correct. Con Artistry. Dicks. Your total dicks. Economics. Economics.

Fuck me. You know what, I thought that one and I didn't say it.

Five minutes ago, my brain. We also have civics. I said civics. Calisthenics. Calisthenics. And mechanics, which I don't think that's a class.

Come on.

That's a job.

I guess if you were going to trade school.

Yeah. I'm going to take mechanics. I guess that works out.

Depending on when this book was published, that could have been one of the four jobs, like in 1901 or whatever.

I want to see a scene. JPC, you are a college professor, first time teaching class. You weren't given a specific topic or class to teach, so you're trying to make it up on the fly, and you make up a class that's never existed before or a subject, and Erin and I are your only two students.

All right, all right. That was the last bell. Find your seats. Find your seats.

That was the closing bell. You were 50 minutes late.

Okay. I can't believe there's bells in college.

First lesson. So, everyone look to your left. Okay. Look to your right. Okay.

Raise your hand if you see- What if you have a neck thing and you can't look to your right?

Have a friend look to your right. Raise your hand if you see a hoagie. I sat one down when I came into class.

Yeah, I found it.

You found it, okay. Save that for me. You saved it for me. It's covered in ants. That's fine, that's fine. So, you're in college now.

My mom's sister's all over that hoagie.

And I... I bet you know what you're all thinking. You're in college and things are going to get pretty scary. Well, welcome to my class. My name is Professor Dick filibuster. Oh my god, oh my god. If we could go back in time and kill one person, who would it be? 101.

Is that a question or the class?

Ah, now the game is afoot. All right, smart guy, what's your name? My name, my name is Dick, Dick Vito. All right, Dick Vito. First name, so I'll call you Dick, or I'll call you Mr. Vito, we're in college. Mr. Vito, if you could go back in time and kill one person, who would it be? Oh, any person? Any person.

Oh boy, any person in history to go back and kill. I want to say you.

Okay.

Yeah, is that right? Is it you?

That comes up a lot in class, but you don't know enough about me to know where I would have been.

If it comes up a lot in class, I assume that people mentioned it later in the semester. So that means they must know a little bit more about you at the point at which they're saying it.

You're right. Usually they learn about me over the course of a year, which is a semester, and then they would decide to kill me. I never got that right in the beginning of class. What about you, Mow the Young Miss? What's your name?

That's an interesting thing to say. We prefer bossy now.

Oh, okay. Well, I prefer bossy to mouthy too, but I take what I can get. Bossy Young Miss, what's your name?

Uh, I forget. Sorry, I got scared.

Do you want to say dick something?

Jennifer, I love Hewitt.

Okay, Miss Love Hewitt. If you could go back in time and kill one person, who would it be?

That's a really interesting question.

Thank you. It's an interesting class.

Oh, I thought that would be enough. I would kill... My brain just immediately went to Amelia Earhart, but that's not right.

Correct.

No, it's not.

Amelia Earhart.

She's sort of a hero. She's not sort of. I'm digging a hole deeper and deeper. She's the best.

Hey, she died anyway. So if we kill her, history doesn't change because she died anyway.

I want to change my answer. What's that? I want to change my answer. Your loved one. Lindbergh baby.

Hitler.

Ah, correct. And you'll have to find out next semester.

But hold on, if we kill Hitler, if we kill Hitler, then we never get Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I don't think that's a fair trade-off.

Is there going to be a test on this?

There very well could be, if this was a sanctioned class from the university. But I lost my license to teach three years ago, and that horrible teacher fire. Oh, so it was burnt you didn't lose it. No, no, no, no. I was fired as a teacher, but I refer to that as a horrible teacher fire.

I have a question. It seems allowed to be 11 minutes long.

Oh, bossy young miss. Mr. filibuster? Dick, please. Dick, if we go back and kill Hitler, then how does Scarlett Johansson get dual Oscar nominations in 2019 for supporting actress? Ah, that's a very good question. Because JoJo Rabbit wouldn't exist.

Maybe that's not the worst thing.

I like it. It's okay. It's okay. So that was a half hour of warm up riddles. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back with more fuck what's the name of the show?

It doesn't matter.

And we are back. Oh boy, guys I had something weird happen on the break.

What? Oh no.

Just suddenly, like right around when we took the break, I can't remember what happened in 1942. Was there something going on in the world or in America?

And you sure you want to choose 42 as the point where that didn't?

I can't remember. Well, let's see. I know we had World War I and then we had Vietnam. Sure.

And then we had three years of World War II.

Yeah.

Fuck you guys. I hate you. I hate this.

I don't think you do.

I hate you and I hate this.

We don't think you do. I love a guy who goes back in time and kills Hitler, but he kills him in like 1944. It's like, whoa, dude.

Thanks so much for your help.

I swoop in, I tap him on the shoulder while he's in the bunker, and I go, nope, nope, nope, I gotta do it. He's like, why didn't you do it years earlier? Thanks for saving us 10 months, dickhead. I go back in time to kill Hitler. Josh Hitler.

I'm really bad with dates, but I know World War II was 1345. Yeah, I played romantic dates and it's all like me knowing World War II facts. She hates it. But I know that World War II is 1300-45.

That's every date a straight woman has ever been on. Anyways, carry on.

But I really don't know dates past that too. I know like 1776. I could do like benchmark things, but like Magna Carta, who fucking knows? But it's always my fear that in a situation where someone's like, okay, you're a character and you exist. Let's do a scene. You exist in 1955. I'll be like, uh, okay, 1955. What else? What else? It's like, cars have been around, but not too long. But they do exist.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Hey Beverly. No, I made him Paul Revere and I said, like, Paul, you're not going out tonight. And he's like, Beverly, I'm going out. I need to do my thing. And I was like, no, no, no, you're staying home. We had plans. So the whole joke was like, I'm trying to keep him from hanging the lanterns or whatever. Yeah, doing his ride. And halfway through the scene, the guy who told the monologue stepped out and he goes, I just want to say Paul Revere didn't have a wife. He had a wife, but he said all these factoids that just totally poked holes in my scene and then was like time in and led me back to the scene. And I just stood there with like tears welling in my eyes and I'm like, is this improv? This guy I don't know just tore me apart like factually. Not fun. And now we do it every week on a podcast.

JPC, I'm not good with dates either. I have been watching an episode of Jeopardy! every day and I'm the worst at geography and dates. Those are the two categories, I know. Nothing.

I'd be pretty bad on as well. I mean, honestly, Adal and I did a trivia podcast not too long ago, and I was fucking dog shit at it because trivia, I just don't know these things. I'm just so bad at these things. Also, I have no compulsion to be good at trivia. So if someone's like, what three states all have the same, I'd be like, I don't care. Indiana, Arizona, Milwaukee, it doesn't fucking matter. Like, next question.

One of those was a city.

Yep. The question was, which three start with the same letter?

I don't care. Indiana.

Indiana, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. Just move on, dude. Okay, Erin, here's a little quiz for you. December 7th, 19-blank, a date that shall live in infamy.

It's gonna be Pearl Harbor. That's December 7th. December 7th, 1942? No, it's December 7th, 1999. Pearl Harbor over, oops, at a time. I think I got it.

Does anyone know what year that is?

Alright, December 7th, 1941?

43? I don't know.

Let's see, I can look it up real quick. I thought it was 42, but I don't know it. Okay, it is. I'm gonna say 41. It was 41. Yeah, I don't know why I said 41.

What did I say?

3. Did I say 42 first? You said 1999 like a robot. Nobody knows why you did that.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Do we have riddles on this podcast?

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, let's keep going.

Let's put our spoons to the bottom and get a big chunk of beef. Big beefy riddle. Big chunky riddle ripples. Big beef riddle. Here we go. In what place in the world would you find Julius Caesar, the biblical Rachel, King David, Pallas Athena, the goddess of war, King Charlemagne, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth I of England, and Sir Lancelot all together?

Okay, I want to see a scene. So Adal, you're going to be playing a hairdresser. Erin, you're going to be going into the hairdresser, and you are going to be asking Adal to give you the biblical Rachel as a hairstyle. And then when he can't do that, I want to see many more confused hairstyles from other points.

I feel like that's fucking funny as a one-liner, but not as a three-minute scene.

I want to see other hairstyles that you ask Adal to give you that he doesn't know how to do.

Okay, just have a seat here. Good to see you back. What can I do?

I brought in this drawing that I made when I was in church.

Okay, let's see here. Alright, this is a lot of purple. I can't tell what's going on here. Is this some sort of creature?

It's the biblical Rachel.

Oh, I'll be there for you.

Yeah, I thought you were gonna say something else. I almost said you, but then it ends. She's like sort of my hero and I want a haircut that frames my face.

Oh my gosh, that's so powerful that you want to get the same haircut as your hero.

And can I get highlights in my hair? Like the magazine highlights?

Oh yeah. Well, what I'll do is I'll hide different items. I'll hide like a pencil and a goose and then you can find them later or have people find them. Can I ask just from curiosity's sake, why are you so influenced by biblical Rachel? What has she done that you're into?

I just really love when she gets mad at Ross when he says they were on a break. I like when she wears sweatshirts.

I think they got put into the Bible, right? Thou shall not be on a break.

Yeah, yeah, and then I also like love when she like works at a coffee shop and then Ralph Lauren.

Yeah. Oh, and the Book of Gunter is very good.

Very powerful book. Aww. The Book of Gunter. So this, where do all of those people exist in the same place? Art Museum. Erin stands up and says, that belongs in a museum.

Art Museum.

She's pointing at my ass. In what place would you find Julius Caesar, the biblical Rachel, King David, Pallas Athena, King Charlemagne, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth the First, and Sir Lancelot?

Sid Meier's Civilization IV. All of those are playable characters. And Genghis Khan. That's a great game. Is it a book? Is it a movie?

Maybe? It is not at the museum.

Is it not at the museum? Is it in an encyclopedia?

Uh, no. Okay.

These are all along the right track.

These are good answers, so I don't want you to get discouraged. They're just wrong answers.

Okay, is this in a play? Like is this in like the works of Shakespeare or something? Uh, no.

That's a good guess. So it's not a museum. It's not a movie or a TV show, a book, an encyclopedia, a dictionary.

Is this all one person's IMDB? That would be fucking awesome. One character actor has played all these roles. Yeah, Helen Mirren. Andy Serkis. Uh-huh. Or what's the guy who does all the voice acting, like the dubbing?

Literally thousands of people.

No, there's like four people that do all that work. Oh, Tom Kinney? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, Tom Kinney, Spongebob. Voice of Spongebob. I don't know. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Is this in a book? Is it in a book? It's not in a book or museum, so please stop saying those.

Give us a hint.

I can't stress enough. Please stop saying book in a museum.

I'll say it again if you don't give us a hint.

Are these people in the We Didn't Start The Fire version of that song that was written in like the year four?

They are now. Julius Caesar, biblical Rachel, King David, Pellissippi. No, it doesn't. The meter doesn't work.

Someone's at the Parthenon.

Hanging Gardens Babylon. Oh wait, I'm reading this song. I'm reading this song. We didn't like these people. In a caught lens a lot. What else do I have to shot? Amelia Earhart Dead by Time Traveler. Maybe that's what happened to Amelia. Oh my gosh. That could be, I was gonna say, that could be what happened to Amelia. What if that scene, Erin, the character you put in that scene caused Amelia Earhart to disappear? Your character What's coming from Inside the House?

Oh yeah. I'm responsible for that. Oh man. Adal, do you remember that one improv show we did where I played Amelia Earhart? And I went to go salute Brett Lyons, but I hit myself really hard in the eye totally by accident. And he was like, uh-oh. And I was like, don't worry, I'll be fine.

That's fantastic.

It was very dark.

Again, I can't stress enough, these answers you're giving are good but wrong. Hashtag good but wrong.

Give us a hint!

What about a wax museum?

That's a great answer.

Madame Tussauds.

Okay, dead stop. Or that's a full dead.

What is it for you? Full stop?

Shut the fuck up. For Jason to be shut the fuck up.

No, that's a dead horse. That's a dead horse. James, can you repeat your answer, the two words you said? Wax Museum? Can you drop the first word and just say the second word? Are you going to try and get me to say like a wax off or something?

No, he doesn't want us to say the word museum anymore.

I'm trying to get you to say museum because earlier I said it's not a fucking museum.

Well, it should be.

A wax museum is not a museum. It's an experience. It's not a book. Is it the good book? Is it a cookbook? Here's what I'll say. This is something, you are on the right track, so I don't want to discourage you. You're just being annoying.

I want to see a scene. And I'm so sorry. JPC, you are a wax figure of someone in history or entertainment, and Adal, you are someone who's accidentally fallen in love with this wax figure, and you go to visit them every day.

I hope he's awake. I hope he's awake. Hello? Oh boy. Oh, I guess I was a fool. I must have dreamed it. I must have dreamed that the most racist man in history was just waking up for me, but nope, it's just a wax figure. Oh, you would say that I'm the most racist man in history? No, no, no, that's what your plaque says. I'm sorry? Your pl- the placard- Your placard that describes who you are, all it says is most racist man in history.

Teenagers come and they put this up. I'm William Shatner. TV's William Shatner. I don't think I've done a racist thing. Oh wait.

When you mentioned teenagers, you got real upset.

Oh yeah, these damn kids. I mean these damn kids. Certain types of kids or just all kids? No, no, no, no, no, no. Just teenagers. Take that plaque with you, by the way. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean hide it or destroy it or go put it on someone appropriate. Let's take it.

Who has a... Oh wait, let me clean off the... Yeah. Oh yeah, it does say William Shatner under here. They just cleverly rearranged some of the letters and added on some ink.

Oh, got it. Okay, so you you rub that off real quick.

Hey, we're closing. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Thanks fellow patron. Well, I better get going.

Okay, you have a good day.

Can I get a kiss for the road? I'm not going to kiss you, you filthy Irish piece of shit. Oh, man.

I'm glad I called for a scene. You might regret it, but I know.

Here's what I'll say. If you hadn't, JPC, if you hadn't guessed wax museum after I just said, please never say museum again, I would not have done that to you.

Okay, Adal, what is it? I give up.

No, no, no, no. Here's another clue is that this is something where they are played. Is this in a theater?

Wait, there's something with puppets? It's not puppets. Muppets. It is muppets. Can you give the list again, the list of the people that we are to guess?

Yes, Julius Caesar, the biblical Rachel, King David, Athena, goddess of war, King Charlemagne, Alexander the Great, Queen Elizabeth I of England, and Sir Lancelot.

These are all sandwich options on the In-N-Out secret menu.

What's on the Sir Lancelot?

Uh, almost nothing.

That's a terrible sandwich. Why am I paying for that?

And people almost never order it. And what'd they do? They're always disappointed.

Uh, god, wait, this is something where they're played? It's a hot dog stuck into a deep fried apple.

What is the answer to this riddle?

I have so are the weeds here. So think about, let's see, think about depictions of people in games. If you were to play a game or have some leisure time with some family and you want to kill some time by doing an activity, chess is the closest we've been so far. Oh, so is it a board game? Not necessarily. Cards? It is playing cards. So all the people I mentioned were the original designs for the Kings, Queens, and Jax. All those characters are the basis for the Kings, Queens, and Jax in original decks of cards.

Oh, wow. That's wild. Well, yeah, that's great. That's fun.

Wow, that was hard.

But are you learning something? I've already forgotten. Is Rachel a queen?

You're asking the wrong person. I don't know who Rachel is. She's David's wife?

Who knows? Hey Rachel, you David's wife? I don't know. I guess I learned my Bible, sir. I haven't learned my Bible, sir, in many, many years.

I just saw Erin reach into her lamp table here and pull out a Bible.

She's slipping through the pages. First Corinthians, fourth Corinthians, tenth Corinthians.

Karma Gunther.

Okay, biblical Rachel.

Yes.

was a biblical figure, the favorite of Jacob's two wives, and the mother of Joseph and Benjamin.

So hold on. So we know for a fact, this is, I don't know, thousands of years ago. We know for a fact that this is his favorite of two wives.

That seems like a shitty- Dude! It's Joseph and the Amazing Touch Killer Dreamcoat! She was married to Jacob, and Jacob, Jacob and sons, Joseph and Benjamin are two of Jacob's sons. This is, she's the mom of Joseph, of, um, Donny Osman.

Oh, it's Donny Osman's mom.

It's Donny Osman's mom, Joseph, and he made the type clear dream code. Her name is Rachel.

Donny Osman's mom from the Bible.

Okay, that makes sense now. That's hilarious. Let's do another riddle here. A Boy Scout was anxious to win maximum points at his monthly inspection. This sucks. I guess Boy Scouts have inspections. However, despite the mother's best efforts, she could not remove some blue felt tip marker stains from his hands. What did she do? A Boy Scout was anxious to win maximum points at his monthly inspection. I guess Boy Scouts are like cars? Will they get a checkup? Sure. However, despite his mother's best efforts, she could not remove some blue felt tip marker stains from his hands. What did she do? So I guess if you have dirty hands, that's a knock against the Boy Scout.

He wore gloves?

What did she do? Why does she even want to get fucking involved? She took them out of Boy Scouts, that's the correct answer. Yeah. Um, it's not gloves, that's a great answer. Erin again, good but wrong. Hashtag good but wrong. Did she just, she blew him? Yeah, this is, this is the, this riddle is the basis. Is this a dirty riddle? This, this riddle is the basis for Forrest Gump. Yo mama, sure does care about your boy scouting.

Uh, did she just color his hands blue?

His, make his whole hands blue? She goes, my son is in the blue man group. Um, she did not cover his whole hands in blue because that would be the stupidest fucking thing.

Did I tell you guys about Sean auditioning for Blue Man Group?

Yes.

And you got cut out for the first round? Okay, good. Just making sure everyone knows.

It's the best. Fudge. Erin, did I do a scene in a previous episode called Blown Man Group?

Yeah, we talked about Stamp and Blown Man Group. It's a very good episode. Go back and listen to it.

So this mother, her intent here is to do something to cover this up so that her son wins maximum points. Correct. Which is a stupid thing to want to win anyway.

Correct. But it's something she would have to do where the inspector would not... Where was the marker? Where was the marker? The marker stains were on his hands. Cut his hands off. Easy.

Split the kid, spare the child.

Mmm, that's not a thing.

Spare the rod, keep the steward. Did she make the inspector think he had done it?

I gotta see a scene. We're going to see a scene. Let's see, I am going to be Erin's father. She has chocolate all over her face. And JPC, you're going to be a principal that I'm bringing her to. And I'm going to try and, Erin and I are going to try and convince you that you put this chocolate all over her face.

Mr. Matthews, thank you for coming.

Thanks for having me, Mr. Philibuster. I'm sorry, Principal Philibuster. I know you rested the ranks pretty fast.

And from Mr. to Principal, true success story.

As you can see, my daughter has chocolate all over her face.

Yes, Carolyn, chocolate all over your face.

Indeed I do. And it, I, I, but you, how, let's say in unison, you put it.

I'm in unison

Who put it on my face?

Who put it on my face?

Who put it on my face?

Well Carolyn, just so you know, you have chocolate on your face, you're in very serious trouble here in school, and I'm going to have to expel you.

Why? Because I stole the chocolate from everyone else?

No, did you do that? That's even worse.

No, you did this. You did this. This is your fault.

My daughter... I'm sorry, if I may speak, I pay your salary basically by being a taxpayer. That's the one thing I can say because I'm a fucking idiot asshole.

This one's on cops? This also works on cops and I do have to listen.

I think so. My daughter came home bawling last night, crying. Bawling?

Say hello, I'm crying. That's new to the brim with chocolate. It's delicious chocolate that I did not steal from the fundraiser that we were doing for that sick kid. I didn't steal all the chocolate for the sick kid.

She said that you, in one of your classes, you showed the movie Shock A Lot because you weren't prepared. And at the end of the movie, as credits rolled, my daughter looked down and her face was covered in chocolate.

And I thought, is this what love is?

To quickly recap, you said your daughter came home yesterday covered in chocolate. You're breaking her into my office at four o'clock the next day, still covered in chocolate.

You don't burn the evidence.

She said that she got it in one of my classes. We've established that I'm the principal. Uh-huh. Okay, so are we sure we want to stick to this version of the story? I pay your salary. I pay your salary.

Principal, look behind you.

Okay, behind me.

Look behind you. Run, Dad, run!

Okay, I'm standing by the door, you're running around me.

I did not take in what my daughter said fast enough, so I'm awkwardly stuck here.

I have a question. How long can scenes be in Hey Riddle Riddle?

Here's the thing, I agree. Yes, we do pay, taxpayers do pay a lot of salaries, but I just find it so funny that somebody will be like, I pay your salary, like over and over of like, I think they're just trying to help you out or you're in the wrong and you're being an asshole.

Nobody pays that much money in taxes to pay someone else's salary. I pay 85 grand a year. I make 60 grand, I pay 85. Even rich people, like Jeff Bezos, who doesn't pay any taxes, doesn't pay anyone's salary. I do love that. That is such a Karen thing to say to a person. Oh yeah.

Let me talk to your manager.

Why are people so obsessed with protecting billionaires?

I don't know. Did you guys see that thing on Twitter? Maybe a couple days ago. Oh, that thing on Twitter? Yeah, I saw it. It was a scrolling thing to put a pictograph of how much money billionaires have, and you have to keep scrolling to show you Jeff Bezos' money. You didn't see that? No, I didn't see it. I saw the rice one. Someone made the, oh yeah the rice one that that like TikTok person made. Someone made like a, basically this one, the point of this one is you have to scroll so much it fucking hurts your thumb just to like show you how much money the billionaires have. But it's just like an inconceivable amount of money. Can you say that like Wallace Shawn? It's just an inconceivable amount of peanut.

Anybody want an inconceivable?

Okay.

I think we're on our, we only did a handful of riddles, but I think we're getting back into the groove and I'm happy and I'm having fun, so. I had a question that I will hold until we finish our riddle. Okay, but let's go ahead and finish this one out. So the Boy Scout was anxious to win maximum points at his monthly inspection. However, despite his mother's best efforts, she could not remove some blue felt tip marker stains from his hands. What did she do? Can I ask a question? Yes. Did she get the marker off? Well, she said she couldn't remove it, so she didn't remove it. She could remove it, so she didn't remove it.

Did she, like, lie about how it ended up there?

In a way, through actions, not words.

Did she put blue marker on her own hand and say, this is something that happens in our family?

Honey, sit down. There's something I want to tell you.

His father was a chameleon.

You are predisposed to blue hands.

Did they rehearse a quick skit before the person who was judging came in and the little boy said, mommy, is daddy back from the war? And she said, no, he's not. So you have to keep the blue marks on your hands.

I have one. Erin, just to go off what you said, I do think blue hands is a perfect Eric Clapton song.

What were you saying? I think... Did she... I forget what I was going to say.

You were... Erin, I will say you were blazingly hot close with gloves.

Oh, I knew what I was going to say, which isn't far away from what you were going to, which is like, did you put a bunch of blue on a cat? And was like, look, he saved the cat from the tree. He's a good boy scout.

Okay. That's the closest to gloves, right? And you think that's close to gloves?

I don't know anything.

Wait, but gloves is not it, right? It's not.

It's not gloves, but that's very close. And you have to think of something that whoever's in charge would see what's going on and not press further or not. You know what I'm saying? So you have to think from the mindset of the inspector in terms of what would the inspector not want to press or question or whatever.

Oh, a cast.

A cast. I will. I'll go ahead and give it to you. It's basically that it is... She covered all the stains with bandages, gauze and bandages, which is basically a cast. If you bake bandages, they become a cast, right? That's how you make a cast roll?

Yeah, but then you can't eat it. Then you got to wait to eat it because it'll burn your mouth.

Adal just said castor roll. I almost said cast iron skillet, and then I moved past that to go with the least successful one. Castor roll. Oh my God. Well, that was fun. Up until the end when I said that thing I said.

Would you just cast a roll? So are we done with Riddles, Adal? We are done with Riddles for now. Is that for now? Yeah. Yes. So, Erin, I have a question for you.

Sure.

After we just did an episode, how do you feel about Riddles?

I feel tired again. I had two months rest. We're back baby, we're back. But I will say what wiped me in this was improv. I don't know how, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how. I need to take a class, an internet class with you.

Truly Erin when you said, and Adal was hypnotized and he says this, I truly was like, what is going on?

I've been playing Animal Crossing for 7,000 hours. I have nothing.

I was like, do I have to dig up some fossils and get them assessed by this Mr. Owl fuck? Like what's going on?

And honestly for me, I thought this episode was great until Adal said casserole and then I was like throw it at the fucking trash. Like get rid of it. Never let it air, of course.

Casey go back and beep out. Don't be about casserole, just beep out. Any other word around that, Erin? Well, hey everyone. We miss you terribly. Should we mention about the live shows?

Yeah, so we had some live shows in Chicago that were planned for May. They have now been pushed back to October. Anyone who bought tickets to those live shows, your new tickets, they will be applied to the October shows. If you can't make those shows, you can write requests to the venue and they'll refund you. The same goes for our LA show. It was supposed to be in May. It's been postponed to a date where we don't know sometime in the future. But if you want a refund of your tickets, you can email the venue and you get a refund for those tickets as well. But those shows will happen whenever it is safe to do shows again.

Erin, is there anything you want to plug?

Um, just go check out our Patreon. We've done a ton of live streams. Uh, from our part, uh, our apartment. It's like JPC does cooking ones. Adal's done a bunch with Gemma. I've done a few with Sean. Uh, there's just a lot of fun stuff over there. We've been like very active on that to do that. And then follow me, Erin Keif 10 on Instagram.

Hey Riddle.

Maybe you'll just be like dicking around playing some other games. But there's a lot of people have fun in there. There's like a cool chat community. Now we have a Discord. So join that. It's a twitch.tv slash sharkbarkman.

And I want to mention, I've been playing some games as well. I played the Final Fantasy 7 remake, which is outstanding. It's caused me to text Casey several times at like four in the morning to just be like, hooray! I love this. And also Undertale, which is another game Casey and Zach Reno both said I should play because it's one of the best, was amazing. So play Undertale. I also want to mention a friend of the show, Jeffrey Craner, along with his creative partner Joseph Fink, wrote a book called The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home. It's a night veil story, but it's a stand-alone. You don't have to listen to the podcast or all of it to understand it. It's a phenomenal book. It's like a really good high adventure, nautical, kind of in the vein of, like, Lies of Locke Memorial or Name of the Wind. Just a really outstanding sort of adventure book, so please check that out. Also, I was on a podcast called Cinemajaw, so please check that out. And Japes and I, he mentioned it previously, we were on a quiz show called Quiz Quiz Bang Bang. It's a podcast where him and I were on a team and we were up against two other people trying to win and listen and find out if we did.

I can't speak for my buddies here, but if you need a guest on your podcast, I am very available.

Yeah, we all have home setups now, so please let us know if you would, a guest for your podcast, and we would love to be on. Specifically Erin, but after you have Erin on, then invite me.

You guys, I can't stress this enough. I need the attention.

She mostly wants the invite. She'll say she can't do it, but she mostly just wants the invite.

Yeah, I'll tear you apart once you invite me.

Why not get the invite? Uh, and Erin, there was somewhere else that you wanted to get an invite to, correct? It was like a big floating floor.

Yeah, I kind of wanted to. What was it? What? Oh, his uh... Oh my gosh. I think it was Jupiter?

Bye forever. Cast a roll.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starting your achievement. And John Patrick Coan. Casey told you to be editing. Have already parented the music. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Erin said one second.

Oh, okay. Sorry.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I had no idea that Sean came home and I just heard a bang in my apartment.

Oh, okay. Wouldn't it be wild if we just sat here on Zoom and watched Erin be murdered?

Oh, God. That'll happen at some point.

Yeah, at some point, it'd be even weirder to see Casey do it because we can't see Casey's background. So if Casey got murdered on Zoom, it'd just be like, funk. We were like, oh!

Yeah. I swear, if Erin got murdered while we were doing this, I would like gasp and then go, oh my god, did we get the audio?

Hey, excuse me. If you're in her apartment, can you convert that to a WAV file?

You have to, you have to, uh, do, uh, dot WAV. 16 bit?

No, no, 24 bit. It's just 16 or 36. No, no, no.

Go to, uh... That was a hate gun podcast.