Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a Headgum podcast.

My cousin cheated at Tetherball, so I tethered his balls to a bull-riding song.

J.P.C. 's warm-ups are like Olive Garden. When you're here, they're about family. J.P.

's Lebanese sister knows that she kissed her.

I don't know if that's helpful at all. Oh, then we're both finished. It wasn't the cat in the lemon airplane. He's tapping with the lights in there. And the horn is still rising.

No shit. All Sherlock. It's Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPZ.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And we're three little frogs on a log. Ready to eat them up some riddles. Frogs eat riddles, frogs in the logs. Correct, correct, correct. How are we feeling on riddles?

Are we still into them? Oh, that's a fucking weird question to ask. I still like Riddles. I like the math ones the best. I know that I've started liking the math ones more because I know that they give you an aneurysm and they make Erin really excited. And you're a bit of a doctor budget. I'd have a bit of a doctor budget. A real data freak. I said that I did a freak in an email today that you must have read. Yep. Wow.

Adal Rifai said it. Don't respond, but I read them. Erin.

I like the riddles that make sense. Call me crazy.

Call you crazy. And I'm still into the lateral thinking problems, where even if you don't know the answer, you can suss it out by waiting some time.

All right. So how many more episodes of riddles are we committing to in this?

10 more episodes. It's very funny to... I'm so sorry.

Someone has just Kool-Aid manned into the room. I know that, look, I know the whole rule with ghosts is you don't reveal yourselves, but you're talking about math, love math. I was actually murdered by a falling decimal point. We don't have to get into it.

At Walmart, like falling prices? Yes.

You got rolled back into the afterlife? Yes. They basically said Arizona is going to be 99 cents, no longer a dollar. And that was the last thing I remember of my corporeal phone. Oh, the state or the T? You know what? Spill it. What is the state of the T? That's my question. It was the T.

For those who don't know, and for Japes and Erin, I wanted to reinvigorate the episode with the show, even, with someone who enjoys Riddles.

You would reinvigorate the episode that just started.

I get it, I've yawned twice.

Look, I've been listening from the rafters and it wasn't doing too hot. Something's next to me. You don't think that frog log stuff was actually gold? The frog stuff is where it went down. There's a chart of how good it's going and it's just frogs eat riddles and it tanks.

But saying our names was good? It was rocky. It was the middle of the roller coaster. Fair enough. We have a special guest in the studio, Demi Adejuyigbe. Hello. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. I'm the one who clapped. So typically when we have special guests, it's Hollywood nights, but Demi's in Chicago. I am.

But also Demi brought some Hollywood weather with him because it's fucking waste today in Chicago.

And I'm taking it with me when I can.

I'm just taking it right back with me.

Oh, sorry. Truly the best day of the year. Demi, what is your relationship with Riddles with Puzzles?

I like anything that has an answer that makes me feel safe. Okay.

So when the answer is like, knives, you're like, no.

If it makes sense, I'm like, okay, it makes sense that there are knives there. I just, I feel like doing creative stuff means that it's always just kind of like left up to like, well, maybe this works, maybe this doesn't. Sure. Like with puddles and rizzles, puddles and rizzles and scootles galore.

Ooples and banoonoos.

Yeah. With puzzles, like riddles, even math, I'm always just like, there is a correct answer to this and that makes me feel good. It's like, I don't know, like an escape room. It's just all of these things where I'm just like, you're solving it and therefore I love it. So I'm a big fan.

Are you a fan of escape rooms?

Oh, yeah.

How many have you done?

I lost count after 30.

Ooh, you have a favorite?

I don't have... Yes, I have a favorite in LA. It's this place called The Alchemist at Escape Room LA. It was just, I remember, it was like in the first few, like, escape rooms I did. And then we were like, oh, I guess we're done pretty early. And then they were like, no, you're not. And just like, something happened. And I was like, oh, yeah.

Anyway. The best is when there's like, you think it's like two rooms and then suddenly like eight and you're like, this is incredible.

I love corridors. I love rooms. I love drop downs. Any sort of thing where it seems like, oh, this isn't very thought out. And then you're like, no, the entire, there's like a third part of this. You love corridors. I do. Would you star in a Clue remake? I would not star in the Clue remake they are currently doing. Wow. Did we know this? Oh, you didn't know they're already done one? Yeah. Did we mention that? We talked about it. Yeah, but I don't, not, anyway, yes I would. I love Clue. I think it's one of my favorite movies.

Yeah.

I have one final question.

Just so we know Demi does not want to star in that because it's being directed by Eric Trump. Oh. I think you'll do a good job. Look, if it was a second film, I'd be like, maybe. Yeah, not your debut, Eric. Get some caught behind him.

Also, if this reaches anyone who's casting the clue remake, don't listen to me. This reaches nobody.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

Great. I have one final question.

This only reaches casting for TV.

created an escape room. What would like the theme or genre of it be?

Just trying to get to know you. Hey thanks.

At least I might get barbecue.

I don't know. I feel like I would want something that is like sort of light because I hate horror escape rooms too, but I also want something where It's, I want something that's maybe like super specific where it's like, why did you make an escape room that's just about this intersection in your hometown that the stoplight's broken or some shit. But like, I don't know, I think the more precise the theme, the more fun. Like astronauts fun, but it's like, like if it was a specific day as an astronaut, I'd be like, that's weird. I love it. Something like so mundane. Why did they make a Challenger escape room for me?

No, not that day.

I have a question about escape rooms. Is there like a bar one, like a drinking one that exists? So why don't you make a speakeasy one where you're drinking? There's a lot of speakeasies.

There's a lot of like capone.

But can you actually drink in it?

I feel like there are a lot that are BYOB, but it's also like, you got, it's 60 minutes. You're right. You got time.

I could stop drinking for 60 minutes.

But also like you have to get out of there in 60 minutes.

But I would love to watch a bunch of drunk people trying to get through an escape room.

I would love to do an escape room with a working toilet in it because everyone that I've ever done, I always get yelled at by staff.

Anytime I take Japes to a prison escape room, it's brutal.

When I was working on the Lately Show, James Corden, we made an escape room for the guests to do that was themed to the show and it was surprisingly fun.

Oh cool.

You gotta help create it? Yeah, well no, not help create it. We helped test it. They brought in like an outside team to build it. It was great.

That's a GD dream. So Demi, for people who may not know you, everyone knows you, what are some of your credits? Tell us where we might know you from.

So I'm the guy who first invented that thing where like a dog puts his paw over its eyes in a trailer. The record scratch, that's all me. A dog salute.

Yeah.

I do those things for trailers. They're just like, we need to sell this trailer to children and women who have never seen a movie. So what can you give us? And I go like, all right, a record scratch and then a dog going, Oh, can I, can I say something real quick?

I've seen this last week. I saw five movies in three days and every movie trailer that came out, there's a new thing. So it used to be Christopher Nolan. The Dark Knight, and there was the bwah, and every trailer copped that where it's just like bwah, bwah. Now if you watch every trailer that involves any amount of like action or gunshots or fist fighting, there is like some sort of music and it's set to the sound of the punches or the gunfights. So it's like, the great example is like Wonder Woman, it's set to, how does it feel by, what is that? So there's this like put a punch punch punch lasso like it's all yep that's every single movie has done it I think it started with Atomic Blonde I think they invented it and then since then every and it just hit me this weekend where it's like fucking hell every single movie does this yeah sorry Demi where else oh they also do the the thing where it's like any sort of like family film will have a moment where they just they have like a symbol just like a

A dog's purpose. Exactly. And it drives me nuts. I was the first guy who said, look, a lot of old songs out there that people love, what if we slowed it down and made it, you know, a really sad cover of that song.

And you did one for Sitting on the Dock of the Bay? That's right. That's the slowest song I can think of.

Sitting on the dock of the bay. It's World War II, and we gotta get these damn Nazis. That was me. Beautiful. I don't get paid much, but I do it for... Yeah.

It's the love of the game, honestly. It keeps us all motivated.

You don't get paid much, but you do it for what?

Oh, I do it for the adoration of the screaming crowds. Yeah.

I don't get paid much. I do it for thousands of dollars.

Well let's get into, Demi, since you actually like riddles, let's get into some riddles here. Yeah. I'll give you an example of one. We usually do some warmies. That's what we call warm-ups because there's not enough time to say warm-ups, so we call them warmies.

The explanation takes up a lot of time.

We'll cut that out. We'll cut out just you saying that. We'll cut out the frog and log stuff, but we'll leave this in so people know something was cut out. Actually, Casey, just take those two things and swap them.

No reason to cut them out. We don't want to lose content, we don't want to lose time. Just swap their positions with that person.

But cut this out.

Cut this out and then start now.

Casey, can you add a dog going erk?

Just want to get paid. So here's the type of riddle we might hear. We might hear, how much dirt is there in a hole three feet deep, six feet long, and four feet wide?

How much dirt is there in a hole three feet long, three feet deep, six feet long, four feet wide?

How much dirt?

I mean, I know.

I also know. So let's all just stare at this moron.

No, I know as well. No, not you. Oh, Casey. Fuck you Casey. Do that editing we asked you to do. Can we all say the answer at the same time? Well, no, because you don't know it and you're trying to pick it back on their answers.

Ready?

One, two, three.

The hole is empty.

The answer is none. It's a hole. 72 square feet. Damn. Is that right? Was it all feet? Did you say three by six by four?

He's a math ghost. He's a math ghost.

Solvin' makes me feel good. I want to see a scene. Japes, you are a neighbor of Erin and Demi. You have dug a huge hole in your backyard. You won't say why. You didn't get any permits. And Erin and Demi are going to confront you.

Gotcha. Hey, good morning.

Good morning. Well, it is morning. It's been up all night.

Yeah, it's been up all night to that shovel there.

Yes I have. Can I get you anything? See you're in my yard.

Are you building a pool in your backyard?

Oh, I don't play. Can I get you anything? Some coffee? Some water? No, we're good. We've had our coffee. We're just curious. You've never had enough water. Hydrolysis is a lie. That's something that the media wants you to believe.

We want to get along with you. Yeah, we'll follow up on that later. You're digging a hole here.

Thank you for noticing, yes. I've got a little project going on, I guess you could say.

What is the project?

Well, I mean, it's a little bit personal. I don't go to your house and ask you why you're digging your hole. I'm sorry? We don't have a hole, Erin. Would you like one? I can dick one for you. I did this one, it just took me all night. But I honestly, I had a bunch of water and coffee so I don't need to sleep. I could dig you a hole as well.

I guess just settle a bet for us. You're not burying a person?

This would be way too big for a person. That wasn't a no. Maybe a giant. Are you sure you don't want me to dig you a hole? Yes. Can I be honest with you? Yes. You're probably going to need one.

What does that mean?

Definitely. Explain. Well, I wouldn't have dug this hole for no reason, right? We could all admit. We could all reasonable people could admit.

We're not sure about that.

Okay. So I sit up all night. I dug this big hole in my yard. I could dig a big hole in your yard and have it done by tomorrow night. And by the night after that, you would thank me for it.

Ooh. That's a yes? Nope.

See, usually. Let's get into another one here. What has a heart but no other organs? What has a heart but no other organs?

You can answer.

Yeah, if you know the answer. An artichoke? Archo, great guess. That's not the correct answer here, but that is a correct answer.

That was my only guess.

My guess was this was about the band heart because they don't have an organ in that band.

Wembley Stadium in 1981.

So is it Hearts Alone, the only song of my heart that I know? It is not. You know Barracuda. I know Barracuda.

God damn it.

You watch Birds of Prey. I did. Wait, was that Barracuda? That's almost in it. Yeah, the roller skating scene.

So now we've seen... A deck of cards. Also Itania.

Roller skating.

Yeah, Margot Roby will only be in movies with roller skates or skating. Erin, you are 100% correct.

You want to repeat that answer? Really? A deck of cards.

It is a deck of cards. What has a heart but no other organs? A deck of cards. Wait, you guys don't have... What about the spleen of seven?

I'd like to see a scene. The three of you are three guys at a poker table and it's like the middle of the night and you're all just like waiting each other out. You want to be the last one to leave the table.

So win the poker?

But also, the three of you are like, some of you have won some games, some of you have a lot, you know. A sad casino in the middle of the night. You know what I'm saying.

You do think that poker is a game that's determined by who leaves $2.00.

Yeah.

It's like chicken.

I don't. Poker is like that hands on a hard bar, and the last person that's in the car wins the game. Last time I was in Vegas, I won a ticket.

How about you're just three guys playing poker, and you can do everyone?

Oh, doing poker? Yeah, Julian Parker, catch it. Well, I'm not leaving the table. That's funny, because I'm not leaving the... and I raise you, I'm not leaving the table either.

Well, I raise you, I've been pissing in a bottle under the table, so I don't have to go anywhere anytime soon.

I've been pissing in your shoes. Checkmate.

Oh, man. Well, to be fair, I took my flip flops off when I came into your house, because I'm a guest. That's right, you're both guests, so... So, Andy up.

Okay. Andy? Andy? Get up.

Oh, so you're gonna need to poop at some point, huh? Gonna have to poop those big old greenies out.

Humans, human beings only need to poop three times a week. And Tom, did you say, are these ruffles? Yeah. Let me ask you something, shit face, do they have ridges? Yeah, they have ridges. Ruffles have ridges? Then I think you just answered your own question.

Alright, let's be clear. Cards on the table. I am not leaving this poker game until one of you leaves this poker game.

Well, I'm not leaving this poker game until my lift arrives. Trick question, I have an order to fucking lift. I'm not leaving this poker game.

Well, I'm not leaving because I live here. My daughter Annie just woke up and she'll need me to take care of her and put on some programming for her until she falls back asleep. Whatcha gonna put on? Probably put on Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues? Is that still a thing?

No, it's not still a thing.

What are kids into? Do you both have kids? What are kids into? Paw Patrol. Paw Patrol? Oh, you're right. I do have kids.

Gentlemen, this table's starting to smell, so we'd like for the three of you to head on out.

You first.

Fine. Sorry, my wife worked at Caesars.

This table's starting to smell.

Okay, yeah. Well, I'll go, but before I do, I'd just like to lay down my hand and show y'all what I got. Well, it doesn't matter what you had. It's poker. I flushed the river. I'll flush the river. I'm holding snake.

I wish we had learned how to play the game. I don't know the game. Erin, have you ever been gambling?

A few times. Not my favorite thing.

Oh, in New Orleans you went to Heroes, right? What is your favorite thing?

That is a good question. I like a good nap. I like salty food. End of list.

What's a good nap for you? What's a good time length for a nap?

Oh, I like a good two hour nap. That's a sleep. Oh, yeah. That's a sleep?

You need more sleep. I feel like naps, like every time I've taken a two-hour nap it's fucked me up like way worse than I would have been just like not sleeping.

I'm not trying to get rest. I'm trying to shut off my brain for two seconds.

Naps are just time travel. It is four o'clock. I would love for it to be eight. Let's do this. Marty, we gotta take a nap.

I also went on a cruise. I went on a cruise with my improv team once, which is a true thing.

Hellish sentence.

Yeah, I know, right?

And correct me if I'm wrong, you guys started coronavirus?

Yeah, we did. But there was a lot of gambling on the boat, and I just was like, oh, this is cool. I played Blackjack once. My friend Andrew professionally plays poker. That's his main source of income.

Everyone says that. That's how he makes all of his money though. I play poker online professionally.

But is that their full-time job?

That's what people say.

It's Andrew's.

I know.

1,500 people do that? I don't think you've seen Andrew Robinson.

Demi, I'm trying to call Erin out. Don't call me out. I'm sorry, we're having to, this is a cycle of bluffing now.

Andrew's making his money somewhere and I think, I believe him. Have you seen Andrew? Have you ever played with him?

Yeah, I've never played poker with him. But I've never played poker because I'm not a gambler. I don't have a gambling bone in my body. I would believe that he plays poker professional.

Demi? Hey Riddle. And we did. And I was like, I'm only spending 20 bucks. I ended up like $22 and 3 cents. And I was like, this is a good, this is a good place to stop. So I just, I just didn't even cash it out. I just had the voucher and was like, this is a, I get why people are addicted to this. Not for me.

I get it. I have an addictive personality, so I got to be careful about that stuff.

I gambled once. I ate sushi at Jewel Osco. Pretty good joke. Pretty good. Casey laugh.

Did you pick up that Casey laugh?

I'm sure everyone outside the Midwest is like, Jewel Osco? Is that Jewel's new album? It's a Kroger motherfucker. Yeah.

Yeah. We get the content. You can dub that in just like, I Gambla was saying, Sushi had a CVS. I'll do it. Yeah. Like radio promo. Yeah.

You could have used CVS at Walgreens. I love W429.

I Gambla, Sushi had a Wawa.

I was hanging out with some people this last weekend who are, I don't know, 1,500 people.

I met them all on chat roulette. I thought the brag was I was alive last week.

I was living my life. And they're degenerate gamblers, and they were telling me how they are gambling on.

Oh, degenerate gambles. That's like X-Pac, Triple H, China.

Degeneration gamblers. They were gambling on, I think, Turkish basketball, putting bets on that. And I was like, you guys have lost your fucking mind.

That's like you run out of shit to gamble on and you're like scraping the bottom of the barrel. I don't like having money.

Yeah, it's like high risk, high reward. That's wild. I know some people who have like gambling, gambling problems. Our friend Spencer... Yeah, let's put him on blast. Fine, he doesn't listen to the show. He's... Wanna bet? He was telling me he was going to Vegas with his improv team, and then him and another degenerate gambler on his improv team were like, before the team gets there, we should go for a day before that just to gamble. But then they were like, but we should also get like a day of gambling before we do our gambling day. So they went two days early to gamble and I was like, and they just like stay up for 24 hours and fucking gamble the entire time.

The only thing I'll bet on is there's a it's in Vegas at the MGM Grand I think there's a table it's from 1962 or something there's only one in the in the strip this is an Adal and it's an old-timey horse race machine yeah so it's a giant table it's like an air hockey-sized table with little metal horses and you put in quarters and then you press what horse you think is going to win and Hey Riddle You could have gone to a quarter museum. That's my secret Demi. I'm always stupid. Let's do another riddle here. Why not? No one's listened for that. What can... What can... They want to hear our gambling stories. What can ever be placed in a saucepan? What can ever be placed in a saucepan?

Another pan!

Time.

Good guess. Time is a good one. The concept of time. No, the spice. T-H-Y-M-E. I know how time can be placed. What can never be placed in a saucepan?

Mark, we gotta go back. It's not you, it's your sauce. The lid.

The lid.

Japes, bingo bingo. The only thing you can't place in a saucepan is its lid.

There's a lot of things you can't put in a saucepan.

A smaller lid. You can put a smaller lid and you can't put a bigger lid.

Can you put a car in?

Also, what if I break the lid in half and then put the pieces in there? Checkmate. This riddle sucks. We're taking it to Riddle Court. Demi's sauce sucks. It's all full of broken potlands. Well, sorry. Wait, I want to see a seat. Okay. Someone has just fucked up a sauce and refuses to accept that pieces of the things that they use to cook it are just mixed into the pasta or whatever. You are the chef. You two are people who have tasted this sauce and are insisting that it's not very good.

Um, sorry, we had the waiter come go back and get you. Oh, can I just say something?

This happens to me all the time. So, uh, whenever you're ready for the compliments, I am ready to receive them. Oh, let's do a compliment sandwich. Your compliments to the chef are much appreciated. Let me put on my hat here. I did go to Lake Cordon Bleu. We, uh, we love your hat.

We love your hat. The sauce that you served us is full of what appears to be parts of a spoon. Okay, so this is on purpose. It's like a deconstructed pieces of spoon.

And we like your hat.

Thank you so much. It seems like you gave me a compliment sandwich. Well, you're a chef.

And that's another thing about the compliment sandwich you served us. It was a little, how would you describe it?

I don't think it was. They weren't so much compliments as they were statements of fact about our appearance.

Okay. Interesting. Yeah. Well, I do want to defend my sauce here for just a moment to backtrack. It is a spoon sauce in terms of all sauces come from a spoon. What you have there, if I may point it out, this is Werther's original. Now that's melted down to make caramel. I assume. On my pasta? Mm-hmm. Okay. There's also paprika in there. There's some of my son, my son.

Oh boy.

I don't like that. My son left some Legos out. I stepped on one of those. So we have a Souchon of Lego. Okay. Okay. That is some of my hair as I am going bald.

I'm not a chef or anything.

No, no, no.

Is that pasta glass?

That is, those are glass noodles. Now, I typically work with angel hair, but my wife died last weekend, so I refuse to work with angel hair anymore because she had the best locks.

I'm noticing that you're wearing a chef's hat and you're naked from the head down and your body.

Well, I'm very inspired by Jamie Oliver, of course, the naked chef. I am nowhere near him, so almost like when people take half of Jordan's number, you know? People like, I can't be 45, so I'll be Hey Jordan, whatever, half a fourth. Well, for a while.

Listen, we're getting off topic.

I am, I feel like he was famously 23.

You work here? Do you work here?

Do you work here? I am the chef at the table. I'm the chef at the table?

You're the chef at the table.

I'm the chef at the cuisine table.

I knew that we shouldn't have ordered food at a car wash. There's so many times I want to just be like,

I felt like there's, I heard some story that people who wore 23 did it to be half as good as Jordan, but Jordan, when Jordan came back from his retirement, he couldn't wear 23 because they had retired 23, which is the dumbest thing Chicago's ever done.

What about that fire because of that cow?

Well, no. No, this was dumber. This was dumber. So for a while he played in 45, but I feel like there was some, maybe I'm wrong, but listeners will not.

Because 45 is double 23? Is that right? It's double minus one.

Double minus one. They famously don't do half numbers in the NBA. They should. I would have loved it if he came in as 44 and a half.

Muzzy Boog is .05. .5.

Wait, okay, tell me right.

You're all doing terrible math right now. The math ghost is here. Yeah, sorry to return. Yeah, 23 times 2. No, 23 times 2 is a half number. We all know this.

I was like, am I going crazy?

No, I can't speak up.

They're going to embarrass me. We can't possibly know. Look, if you're not from Chicago, don't comment on Michael Jordan's number. None of us are from Chicago either. We've lived here long enough to roll from Chicago.

Yeah. You guys, what is wider than life itself, longer than forever, so simple it's complicated, travels but never leaves the spot, puts others in dangers but no one gets hurt, and reaches to worlds unknown? I want to say dead ass.

Yeah, is it dead ass? Is it dead ass?

I put that on the back of my sweatpants. Baby fat. Wait, sorry. Can you repeat that? Yes. What is wider than life itself, longer than forever, so simple it's complicated, travels but never leaves the spot, puts others in danger but no one gets hurt, and reaches to worlds unknown.

Michael Jordan's Space Jam. As soon as you said travels, I'm like, yeah.

Yeah, he never dribbles once in that entire movie.

Is that true?

Longer than life itself, his arm.

His arm, his wingspan. It's not true. I've seen it very recently. Let's not talk about that.

Put other in danger, but nobody gets hurt. Dynamite, Tweety Bird.

Alright, let's see. I'm just gonna talk out of my ass. Is it DNA?

Puts others in danger.

Is it silence?

Erin, when you said talk out of your ass, that's famously Jim Carrey's move. You're closer with Jim Carrey than you were with the answer you said.

Is it smoking?

Is the answer to this riddle, do not go in there? I want so bad to be like a pilot just so I can be like, and on this flight there's no smoking.

That's why you want to be a pilot. I'll throw away three years of my life for you.

I do not trust you as a pilot if that's the only reason why you want to be a pilot.

You just go on a plane and be like, hey, is there any chance I can make one announcement?

Yeah. What I have to do is keep going on flights until one day someone's like, is there a pilot on board? Because the pilot's sick. And then I just raise my hand. Nobody checks my credentials. They trust, right? Honor system.

What happened to the co-pilot? What credentials would you have?

Just be like, I'll prove it. Let me in there. I love someone making an announcement on a plane. Is a pilot on board? Oh, we're fucked. We're all dead. They're asking pictures. We're just trying to settle a bet. I also just love, I love how you think that anyone could be like, yeah, three years from now I could be a pilot. I could be a commercial pilot.

Listen, my girlfriend's a flight attendant, which means I can go on the advanced track. That's true. Yeah. Typically it's 10 years, so I can do it in three. They can fast track.

Wait, what? Demi and Adal, I want to see a scene. You are two pilots and you're in a plane, flying the plane. It may be something's going wrong.

Just like the elevation here. All right, stay on our course. Okay, let me turn on the salt and let me toggle the wiggle. Wait, did you say the salt? Yeah, just got to turn on the salt there. Just make sure we have maximum salt. There's no switch for a salt. What did you just flip? What did I? I'm going to take off this label that I made that says salt.

How long have you been doing this?

I've been a pilot now for about three weeks. Now, oh, wait, and they let you be the... I'm your co-pilot and they let you lead this. Yeah, I'm the head pilot. How long did you... Well, I mean, I've been on... Let me clarify. I've been on the job for three weeks. I've been training for six weeks, so let's not get crazy.

Okay. I am in my 20th year in this business.

Wow, guys, 20 years with JetBlue.

Yes. I have never in my life been in this scenario. You just flipped a switch and I'm not quite sure what's going on.

I took off the salt label. It does say fuel dump.

You said salts late. Why did you put a salt late? Actually, no. Let's talk about the fuel dump.

Ground control to flight 216. Ground control to flight 216. Flight 216.

What's going on?

We're noticing that you have above average salt levels.

That's not how the lyrics go. It's ground control to Major Tom. So if you're going to sing a song, let me just turn this guy off. Okay, no, I can't even get the lyrics right. Can't even get the lyrics right. You can't turn off ground control. That would be a terrible oversight. Of course, we can't hear him because I turned it off.

To be able to turn us off would be disastrous. I can hear him just fine.

Wait, I guess when I flipped the switch, I just took off my headphones. Let me see what flip I switched here. That says, ooh, lose wings? Why do we have a lose wings?

What's going on?

Because I hate Paul McCartney. The lose wings button just stops any wings from playing on the plane, which is the inflight music selection.

That is fine. Who are you responding to? I'm responding to Ground Control. Let me put my headphones back on. Ground Control, this is Major Tom. Can you tell me exactly why we have salt levels on a plane?

Yeah, it's a desalination so the plane can float if it hits water.

Okay, so in case of a Sully scenario.

Yes, in case you got a Sully yourself.

You're part of the salination?

Are you a Sally Field fan group? I'm part of the Sully Nation. I'm a Sully Sullenberger fan club. Yes.

Me too, me too.

Yeah, I'll apply with S.A.R. Why is that fuel dump? He just released our fuel. Is there any chance that we... Oh, I'm sorry. The fuel dump button just plays fuel in the cabin of the plane.

Hammeridge is one of my favorite songs of all time. That was the first dance at my wedding.

I actually love to find that switch that turns you guys off now.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle. And we are frogs in a log.

I'm the first frog.

I don't want to do this. What? Hold on. And then, and then. Don't point at me. I don't want to do this. Hold on. First frog. Don't want to do this. And then er. There. We did it. We completed the Budweiser three frogs in a log. Bud, I don't want to be here. Most of our listeners know that commercial. And most of our listeners know you don't want to be here. I have no idea what's happening.

Welcome.

Welcome back. Well, what is happening right now is we're back from our break and we still have not solved this riddle.

Oh, I forgot about it.

Oh yeah, I also forgot about the riddle. Can you repeat it? It's not Michael Jordan. What is wider than life itself, longer than forever, so simple it's complicated, travels but never leaves the spot, puts others in danger but no one gets hurt, and reaches to worlds unknown. A choice.

Water. Life.

Choice I love. What was it? Water or light. Water or light. Pick one. Light. No. Steve Wynn's Higher Love. Okay, is it Steve Wynwood's Higher Love? Yes. Think about it. Well, it's something Steve Wynwood did to create Higher Love.

A composition?

Fucking shred it on the guitar.

Sell your soul to the devil?

Opening Ableton Live? Yes, yes, yes, all of these. It's something Steve Woodinwood used to create a higher woman. Producer? No. His brain. His brain? But what's in his brain or what's a concept from the brain? Is it a thought, but a more specific type of thought? A memory. An imagination? Imagination is the answer.

I hate that Riddle. Isn't that a fun Riddle?

No, boy. This sucks, man. So I want to see a scene. At least once in an episode, we get a one that really sucks. This isn't from a listener, is it? No. Okay, good. Then it sucks.

What's tall but also short and also wide and also green? A dream!

I liked it. Erin, it sounds like something Willy Wonka would say throughout his factory, where it's like, the Woozles taste like Woozles. The schnozberries taste like schnozberries. And then he goes into this riddle. Boompa-loompa-doop-a-deeep imagination. Erin, I want to see a scene. You are going to be a little kid dreaming. We'll say you're about 8s or 10s. And Japes and Demi are two people in your imagination who you have brought to life and you are constantly putting them in danger, but they are getting hurt. Unlike this riddle that says you put on others in dangers, but nobody gets hurt. They are getting hurt.

Wow, I can't believe I made my two best friends.

Yeah, I don't. I'm not your friend.

Well, yeah, I mean, best friend is maybe a little much.

This is super hurtful because you're from my imagination and you're putting me down?

Yeah, what does that say about you? Yeah, think about what you're doing to us, right? Listen, this voice you fucking gave him.

I gave you a good voice.

Yeah, you did give, thank you so much for this voice, but why did you give me 14 legs and a dick on my head?

I think you're adorable.

I have 45 teeth and a super small mouth.

Ouch! You're two peas in a pod. Well, here's the thing. I'm gonna throw you into the fire.

Why? For what? To what end?

You can't get hurt. You're my pretend friend, silly.

You don't understand how this works. All I have is pain receptors. Yes.

I'm just nerve endings. You can give me infinite pleasure. No one else at summer camp will talk to me. This is probably why.

Yeah, have you ever thought maybe some self-examination?

No, everyone else's pretend friends are boring, like talking elephants or pillows with wings.

Okay, so here's the thing. We know those guys. They're having the time of their goddamn lives. Yeah, Pillows with Wings is legit cool. Talking Elephant uses his ability to talk to tell us how much he's glad that he exists.

Pillows with Wings let me take a hit off his vape pen, and it was one of the best days of my life. It was a great day.

I think you two have character, but into the fire you go. I want to hear the sounds you'll make. It'll be a slow dance. Come on, get in.

Can we just pretend to make the... Just... Alleyoop!

Into the fire.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Actually, this isn't... Ew, ew, ew.

Oh, they're deviants.

Demi, did you have a pretend friend?

Oh, did I? No, I had a stuffed teddy bear named Rupert.

Oh, that's so fancy. Did you have a little fancy British accent?

I had a British accent when I was a child. You did? I was born in London.

So your teddy bear certainly did.

Yeah, my teddy bear was unfortunately very British. Can you slip into it? The thing is I'll say yes and then do it and we'll go Australian very quickly. Can we hear you say my teddy bear was very British? Not in an accent. My teddy bear was very British. Thank you. Well, my teddy bear was very British. That's great.

Oh my God. When did it start to fade away?

When I was six. It ends up when you also left London. No, we left when I was four. Got it. And when Erin said, when did it start to fade away, we're talking about Rupert, right? Oh yeah, Rupert's still around.

He is?

Yeah, that guy sucks now though. He rubs the British thing in my face.

He's like, oh, Paddington, huh?

Paddington's pretty cool. He fucking, he's jealous as hell of padding. I get it, we all are. What a wardrobe.

He's 26 now, he's got a neck tattoo. Speaking of neck tattoo, Demi, you said your character had a dick on his head. Correct. I assume back at his neck or where?

I wasn't really thinking about where. I was.

I like to think that the... I think the obvious is like unicorn boner, but I think it's way more fun to do it like just somewhere... You think back of the neck is the head?

I guess we'll have to call this episode unicorn boner.

Unicorn boner. I like to think that it was just like, well, the dick is like the head to dick ratio is so disproportionate that it is just whole head. Not sure where it ends and where it begins.

Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Uh, James, would you say the head to dick ratio is on you, dickhead?

Get his ass! That's like someone using math as a slam, like in school. It's like, I heard your head to dick ratio is 100%. We shouldn't have taught you math.

Boil. Um, let's do another Riddle here. What always, this is a short one. What always goes to bed with its shoes on? Drunks. A river.

The answer is Drunks in a River. Tom Waits. Those two answers back to back are very good.

I can see that Tom Waits, when Tom Waits tells everyone he knows he doesn't own a TV, Tui sleeps with his shoes on. And his shoes are probably like some sort of weird metal boot. I'm not taking these shoes

I was very very drunk one night and I came home and I woke up in the morning and I was laying on the floor of my bedroom like feet from my bed so I had climbed up four flights of stairs but didn't have the strength to like get into my bed and the thing that was it was wintertime and I had walked into the house wearing my boots and my feet hurt so fucking bad the next day because I had fallen asleep in like snow boots. It was awful and I was like One more, like, one more foot. One more foot and I would have had a... But you sang it like Les Mis, right? Oh yeah. One more foot. Empty shoes and empty snow boots.

So what do we think always goes to bed with its shoes on? Erin, did you give a guess?

And have we had this riddle before?

What'd you say?

Have we had this riddle before?

Could be. Erin, it could be. Is it a man married to a woman named Itchusan? It's Bob.

He had a baby with a boy. Eat some more. Get some shoes on. I always go to bed with the shoes on.

I'm not a woman.

What always goes to bed with the shoes on?

Yes. Horse. It is a horse. What?

Do we have this one before? I think we haven't had it. I think I saw it when I was looking for riddles to read on the show.

Wait, but don't horses not do that?

No, they nailed those motherfuckers onto their feet, right?

Is that what that... Okay.

Is that what that sound is?

I would like to see a scene. The three of you are horses. And JPC, you're a horse who decided to lay down and you two are trying to figure out what's going on.

All right, I'm going to go to sleep. Night. Peace. Wait. To sleep? Yeah, I'm just going to lay down and go to sleep. Good night. Wait, Colby. What's up, Jack?

You're still dressed.

What do you mean?

Well, hold on. I'm Jack. You're Colby. Of course, we have Monterey. Yeah. All named after drunks.

Oh, sorry. What was you? What was you?

Cities. Yeah. Cities. Uh-huh. And we are, of course, in the famous city, Munster.

I think it's weird that you guys are saying this. You say this every night. You just say our names and then where we are, and I don't care for it. I'm going to go to sleep.

Well, you don't know who's listening. You know, there could be a scout or agent out there and I want to be, I want to break the big time. Wait, an eight for what? Oh, oh, you want to be Seabiscuit, don't you? Well, yeah, after watching Bojack Horseman, who knows what's possible.

That's Secretariat. I'm talking about Seabiscuit, the famous 2003 Tobey Maguire film. Damn, you're throwing me a lot of... Sutterhouse rules? No, that's the 1998 Tobey Maguire film I'm talking about five years later, shortly after he did Spider-Man. I'm a horse, I'd have no concept of when movies come out. Well, I'm also a horse and I pay damn attention, all right? Don't be talking about it.

Monterrey, we've been talking. We know that you're two kids in the front half and back half of a horse costume.

Now don't you keep accusing me of that. Like I'm some sort of Vincent Adulman from the hit television show BoJack Horseman. I am a human, nope, sorry, horse.

And not a human of any age. It sounds like you can't get your word straight like you've got Mr. Peanut Butter in your mouth from the hit show Bojack Horseman.

Sorry to bother you guys, but I hear the glue man's coming to the farm tomorrow.

Well, thank you.

The glue man group? Yeah, they're gonna turn one of you into glue.

Is this a ghost of a cow? What's going on? No, this is Cheddar.

Named after the famous city.

I'm Cheddar. Named after the famous city.

Oh, which Cheddar? I know there's a, I know Chedders are like Springfield's. Which Cheddar?

Wisconsin.

Nice save.

How do you know that the glue man's coming to town?

I heard they're coming to town. They're, they do percussion and they turn horses into glue. Moo. Why? Imma go talk to the pigs. They're smarter than you would.

Hey, real quick, you know you're going to be beef, right? You know Beef is Cow? They give it a different name to disassociate our brains, but it's cow. Yeah, have you seen the film Food, Inc.? The Famous Food.

You're those two kids in a horse costume.

I'm not no kids in no damn horse. Where would I even get a horse costume? Look, we're all farm animals with Netflix.

We know what's going on. Speaking of horses, that... Hold on. Do you guys hear that? What? What is that? Santa Claus? Casey, do you hear that? Is it imagination again? It sounds almost like imagination. It almost sounds like a parade. Like some sort of... Don't do this. Some sort of animal parade? God damn. It's animal parade. So Demi, what we're going to do... We're going to do the thing?

We're going to do the intro.

But we have to initiate Demi.

Okay.

So Demi, the way we do animal parade is... I would have just wanted to do it and then let Demi be like, what the fuck was that? Great. Let's... Oh, I've been doing that this whole time. Let's do it. Let's shame of animal parade.

Let's do it and then Demi will hop in. Here we go.

Ready?

Go ahead. Japes, whenever you're ready. A monkey with a hang glider.

A lobster with an engagement ring.

A crawfish on Ambien. A panna with some knives. A horseshoe with a crab.

A jellyfish with a crown.

A mongoose with a haunted past. A human with a laptop.

It's animal prey!

Welcome to Adal Rifai.

Sorry, I panicked.

I looked around the room and I just panicked something. He saw me.

That's why he said panda with knives. He looked around the room.

Yeah, I was like, uh, fuck.

So with Animal Segment, of course, our famous popular segment that we've done one time, what I'm going to do is read a quick article about something extraordinary that animals are doing in the news. And then we're going to do an animal-based puzzle. So this is an article that says the many benefits of yoga with puppies. Westbrook, Maine. This rules. There are people all around the world still waiting to get into a hot new yoga class. Yoga with puppies or kittens. Once or twice, the Animal Refuge League of Greater Portland hosts the workout classes, and at $25 a person, they sell out quickly. The first year we did it, we just did kitten yoga because puppies can be messy, and we thought people might not want to yoga in the mess of puppies. Who is this person? But we took a risk one time and sold out so quickly that we now do it twice a month, says Jenna Roth, the director of community engagements for the Yoga Institute. Isn't that fun? Would you do yoga? There's, like, goat yoga, right?

It's $25?

Yeah, I would do $25 yoga, right? Isn't that insanely cheap? Goat yoga on the go. What was it? Is that a good price for yoga?

Oh man. It says $20?

$25 a person, so they sold out quickly. For yoga class, I assume.

Demi, what's the most, like, LA thing you've done?

Ooh, yeah. Ooh. Uh... I'm trying to... There's... Played soccer with Rod Stewart. No, I wish. Uh... Hmm.

Like goat yoga or...

Got spit on by Christian Bale. The dog cafe is not really a no. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I don't do too many very LA things. Okay. I'm stressed for an answer. You just did a, you did something at a cafe. I did a, yeah, a commie at a cat cafe, but that wasn't Chicago. Yeah. So.

This is going to sound like a dumb question, but did the cats do comedy?

Hey, now you're very correct. That was a dumb question.

Little kitties stand up.

Oh, I got to see Erin. I just want to see 30 seconds of kitties stand up.

I get down when you hide for three days and your owner's like, where is he? Where is he? Did he get outside and you keep hiding? Because you like to see your owner squirm? That makes you a cat. Thanks so much. That's my time. I'm getting a little kitty light in the back.

See y'all later. All right. Oh, great job. Love that cat. All right. Coming up next, you know him from his Netflix special. It's Dave Chappelle. That's this lineup. That's the lineup today.

I don't want to see your Dave Chappelle impression.

I don't want to see it. Dave Chappelle goes to those cat stand-up clubs just so we can workshop his real edgy stuff.

I love the idea of like someone being like hey mittens you're a cat you're gonna do stand-up really you're gonna open for Dave Chappelle.

Oh fuck.

No, I looked the other way. Hey Dave, we're bumping you for a second. We gotta admit, this is gonna go up in two minutes. Type five.

I mean if a cat talked, I think even Dave Chappelle would be like, I want that cat on my shirt.

Yeah, let the cat do it. I love also that the cat got its light in the back and probably just ran off and chased it. Yeah, chased the red light. I'm getting a laser against the back wall.

I don't think I would do yoga with puppies. I don't, I guess I don't get, I know they have like the goat yoga where they stand like goats on you and stuff. What's the purpose of it? It's fun. Is it just fun? Like for Instagram? I think Demi's a hundred percent right. It's a photo op. Yeah.

I want, I want to focus on puppies if I want to be with a puppy and focus on yoga if I want to do yoga.

When I'm working out, I'm only thinking about one thing. Do not shit your pants. And gains. Yes.

Gains and brooks. So the riddle we're going to do or the sort of puzzle we're going to do is I want the three of you to work together. Okay. Erin's falling asleep. No, I'm just listening. I want the three of you to work together and you need to name 10 bands through any time period that have an animal in their name.

Okay, can I ask a question? And this will burn it, but I want to know, would wings qualify?

What animal's wings? I'm very mad. It's a kind of fish.

It's a kind of fish. Wings fish.

You've never eaten wings?

Okay, good. I just want to know if like parts of animals qualify or if it has to be the animal. Okay.

Okay. Ooh, okay. Steel panther.

Yes. Okay. That's one. Black Cat Sabbath. That's two.

No, we're not giving you that. Oh boy. Def Leppard. Def Leppard's two. So far Demi has two, you have zero.

You're all working together.

You're missing the most obvious answer of all time. The Yardbirds, the Beatles. Beatles to me is like the biggest one. So we have four. The Monkees. Five. I got five y'all. Wow.

You're so good at this.

You're moving so fast.

To be fair Demi, Japes did have Black Cat Sabbath. What was it?

Black Cat Sabbath. Do you count Dave Matthews' band? I've seen that man shred. He's an animal.

Fair. I recently, you know what? I might have been high, okay? So I was on YouTube and I was looking up all the time there was a musical guest on Sesame Street. And you should look up Dave Matthews, because I was like, okay, I'll watch the Dave Matthews one.

Yeah.

Two seconds in and I was sobbing. What? Oh my God. I cried so hard at Dave Matthews. Why? On Sesame Street. Crash into me!

It was... Dave, do you want to sing about what happens to you every day?

You wake up in the morning, you put on some clothes. I think it's him and Grover, and I don't want to spoil it, but it's basically talking about how it's okay to have feelings. But look it up, you'll drive.

Dave, have you ever accidentally unleashed a bunch of shit over a bridge? Do you guys know about that story? In Chicago. In Chicago, yeah. Oh wow, the birthplace.

In Chicago still has not forgave him for that.

Two more, Cat Stevens, Cat Power.

Yes, that's seven. Ratatat? Rat, yeah, we'll count that.

There's a snake one.

Is there? We'll count that, Erin.

No, no, no, no, no.

What, some sort of white snake?

Yeah.

Oh yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. Great. So we have nine. We need one mo. Modest mouse. Modest mouse.

That's 10.

Give yourselves a round of applause.

That was all Demi. That's not true.

We're going to do another rounds. And this round is going to be songs with animals in them. We'll do five of those, please.

I'm like a bird.

I'm like a bird. Nelly Furtado. The Bat Dance. The Bat Dance.

Prince. Blackbird.

Blackbird. It's just the original Batman soundtrack. Cat Scratch Fever. Cat Scratch Fever. Rocky Raccoon. Rocky Raccoon. Kiss from a Seal. Kiss from a Seal.

Oh, we missed a seal. Oh, damn.

And now you have to do, so we did 10, we did five, now we have to do two. Bands that have animal names in them that also sing a song with an animal in them.

Beatles Rocky Raccoon.

Okay, that's one.

Damn. What is the Three Dog Night singing a song called? It's been a three dog night.

And that's the monkeys?

Just kidding. Bands, do you know these, Adal? Did you look these up ahead of time?

No. How would I know? I'm just trying to think of monkeys. Well, don't the monkeys have a song called the monkeys? Hey, we're the monkeys. There we go.

That's two. Nailed it. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Fuck. But I gotta say that Demi really led that charge.

Yeah. Not that last one.

If this was Normandy, Demi would be dead.

In a good way. In a good way.

You'd be dead in a good way. Your family would never see you again. In a good way. You'd be right at the top of the graveyard, alphabetically.

I do want to see you see this based on... I'm not digging your graveyard. Why would you say that? Based on the previous goose we were doing, I do want to see a scene that this is Sesame Street, and we have some amount of Sesame Street characters and some amount of musicians coming by, whoever you want to play. But the musicians don't necessarily match the tone of the show. These are musicians who probably should not be on a kid's program.

Well, Misty Elmo, Misty Elmo is so excited to meet the first musician today. Come on in.

Oh my God, it's Gwar.

This word I was going to say anyway, anyway.

Meat, sandwich, crucify, or pizza, which I'm going to change how you would have right through the dick.

She almost goes in my butt. One, two pieces of meat sandwich man.

Cookie Monster is excited to meet the next musician. I'm Cookie Monster.

Hello, it's me, Sinead O'Connor. I have a picture of a Snuffleupagus rip.

Are you saying that it's Neville Abigail's our Pope?

What are you trying to say? I think she's saying that we should fight the real enemy. Except for Neville Abigail's not real.

That's right. Hey y'all. Are y'all ready for me? It's me, Uncle Cracker. I don't know.

And me, Anti-Cracker.

The Cracker Barrel Band. I love the idea of guar showing. Honestly, Gwar was the first one in my mind too. Yeah, I was like, inappropriate. What was the line from Empire Records where Mark joined the band? But it was like, hey Mark, you're gonna die.

I can't recommend going on YouTube and watching a bunch of musicians on Sesame Street enough. It's a great rabbit hole to go down.

Thank God you said enough.

We really liked Celine Dion on it and REM.

Everything Celine Dion does I think is flawless. I'm going to see her in April. Wow. Going to see Celine Dion? What are you going to wear? I'll buy a new outfit.

Of course. She's worth it. Is she doing a residency?

I feel like she's doing a tour where she stays in a place for a long time.

Yeah, I think she's going to be at the Stable Center or something for a while.

She's doing a residency. She's going to be teaching a bunch of other doctors how to practice medicine. Scrubs.

But look her up on Sesame Street. Their hearts will go on? Ah, yeah. Damn it. She goes to every cardiology office. Your heart will go on. Thanks, doc. Because you scrubbed me. Let's do one more riddle, and then we'll call it a day.

Fucking thank God.

Why do you do this show? We don't know. Demi, can we get a clean take of you saying that again? Why do you do this show? And we're going to put that before every episode.

Every episode?

Great. Right after this is a head gun podcast. What question can you never answer yes to? Is it worth it?

Missy Elliott. You can never answer yes to the question, how do you spell N-O or how do you say N-O?

What about what's your favorite band?

I love prog rock. Yes. What question can you never answer yes to? This one. That's a good answer. Do you just want one? Yes, two. Jesus. What? Fuck you. What question can you never answer yes to?

Did I get close?

Is that the question you're answer? Is that your answer or the question?

Me.

Answer. You can never say yes to this question? Yeah. What question can you never answer yes to? The dress. Have you been here before?

Can you hear me now? Did I get close with what I said? What did you say? Like, how do you say an L?

Uh, no. This has to do more with the states of the person who might answer. Oh, is this a Frenchman?

You have been here before, no? Do I make you Randy, baby?

Yeah, is it that?

Do I make you Harvey, baby?

Which is, of course, what Stan Marsh, his dad says, constantly.

Is Hey Riddle Riddle a good show?

Yeah, you can never answer yes to that.

It's more of a wow.

I feel like we've given a lot of acceptable answers to this question. But not the right one.

Tell us the right one.

Can we get a hint please? The hint is when somebody asks you that, you wouldn't answer anything. Is this a question? No, but that is a good guess and also acceptable. So if someone asked you this question, you would say nothing to them. You would say nothing to them because you couldn't.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

Fuck no, find your own way.

Is it, do you expect me to talk Blofeld?

What is it?

The answer is, are you asleep? Okay. Well, I could lie.

I want to see one final scene. Um, uh, JPC, now you're Demi's parents and, um, Demi, you're coming into their room in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare.

Come with me.

Come with me. Come with me. Mommy, daddy, why are you quoting street fighter? How do you get, how do you get, I was like, alright, how do I fuck with this?

They weren't having sex, they were just playing games or something.

Then you just were like, my dick.

I'm like, damn it. We would never not be having sex.

That's our Jimmy Pardo podcast. Never not having sex. Never not fucking. That's amazing.

Demi, anything you want to plug? Oh, Star Wars. You watch it. Yeah. Do you have a favorite? Yeah, I like The Last Jedi. Gotcha.

Do you have a favorite character?

Love BB-8. Of the things that I do, I host a monthly show in LA, if you're ever in there, called Everything's Great. Come on down to Dynasty Typewriter, where I believe you guys have a show. Yeah. Aside from that, yeah. I say Star Wars already? Yep, you did. And you said Last Jedi. Yeah, Last Jedi is a good one.

Do whatever you want with those. Hell yeah, thank you Demi. You're also my favorite Twitter presence.

Oh, thank you. Do you want to plug your Twitter? Oh, right. Yeah, sorry. I'm at Shaq.

I'm at Electroland. And I just want to say I love all your dunks, all your blocks. Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much. I love your beef with Aaron Carter. I think it's so brave.

I'm going to kick his ass. He lied to the world about what I told you.

Never tired of my shoelace. I want to plug. I was on The Flophouse. Check that out. We reviewed a movie called The Fanatic, which is written and directed by Fred Durst, starring John Travolta. It is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life, but once you start watching it, you can't stop. So please check out The Flophouse.

So it's like The Ring? It's like The Ring.

Sandy? Sandy. You can follow me on Twitter at jpsofly. You can follow me on Instagram at sharkbarkman. I've recently listened to like every episode of the Antifaata podcast. So that's a fun podcast if you want to get really into communism. I really advise people give that a listen.

Follow me, Erin Keif 10 on Instagram and come see world news every Saturday at IO.

We'll be there. Sometimes. We'll be there.

Sometimes.

Using your imagination.

Yes, okay.

Can you picture something in the sky? Maybe it's in the sky and it's getting closer and closer. Maybe like a large thing that doesn't- Pillow with wings? Pillow with wings, yeah. That's my favorite Smash and Pumpkin song. Anybody want to vape?

I'm going to go with Jupiter?

Bye forever.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starting Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan. Casey Toney could be editing. MRE parents A logo created by Emily Cardenas and Emily Nemours.

Did you know that there are spin-off songs by the same guy of the Monster Mash? On this podcast we have mentioned Monster Rap a few times. Monster Rap is now Rap for Daddy.

We have a segment called Rap for Daddy, which is where I do a game show and at any point I can say Rap for Daddy and they have to do a rhyming.

It's never good. I think that's even funnier.

But that song is much better than Monster Mash in the worst way.

Erin and Demi.

Welcome to Erin and Demi in the morning, at night.

We talk about the mornings at night.

Yes, not today morning, tomorrow morning.

What's going on?

How do you turn off the TV? The TV's not on.

Tomorrow morning. Where's that coming from? It's a radio show for tomorrow morning. We think we'll have coffee.

That's right. The TV's off and the radio's off, but the dog is just holding its mouth open. Erin, what do you think? His eyes are wide open.

Is tomorrow the apocalypse?

Ooh, we hope so. Ooh, we hope so. Demi and Erin in the morning.

In the morning, at night. And they're hoping for the apocalypse? We don't want to do this anymore.

How do I set you free? Do I have to rub the dog?

We're locked in a contract.

Casey put that post-credits.

Casey had a dog going, er? That is such a like... It's always when a mom and dad are kissing. Yeah. It's like, oh, the kids can't see this.