Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a Headgum podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle is adding more live shows. That's right. We're going to be in Chicago on May 23rd at Suba's. We have two shows, 7 PM and 10 PM. If you want to get tickets, go to headgum.com slash live while you're there. Why not buy tickets or LA show? We sell some of those for sale and then just fly out to LA and see us there as well. You can get those tickets headgum.com slash live.

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of light and said, oh, the pin work'll finish.

It wasn't the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with his eyes and said, Adal Rifai!

Hello. It's us from the future. This is Adal. This is JPC.

And this is Erin.

Come on.

No. We've obviously established we're three years in the future.

Yeah, and I've been a good person, so age has been kind to me.

No, it's 2023, I'm both so dust.

Yes, we have big news. The podcast is still going and time travel exists. Yes.

I bet what you're thinking is, haven't they run out of riddles by now?

We have to go back. I'm sorry, we have to go to Outback Stick House and get a blooming onion. Awesome blossom.

Oh shit, I'm thinking of chilies. Oh, let's go to Chili's. I can do Chili's. We have to go Chili's.

Erin, you having a good time? It's not you, Erin. It's your chilis.

Well, I'm just thinking, why are we worried about the riddles when you should worry about running out of water? Good night, everybody. Good luck in the present.

Hey Riddle Riddles. Why don't you do the furniture?

Any likeness to Christopher Lloyd or Mike Lee Fox? Oh, you're listening to Hey Riddle Riddle, the only podcast. We're pleased as pissed to be here in your eardrums delivering you- Did you piss in the punch?

Shit. For listeners, JPC served his punch and they just said he's pleased as pissed.

I have a GoFundMe- He brought it into Uber, so it's all over his pants.

Sloshing all over. I have a GoFundMe that is run by the fans to piss in everyone's ears.

What?

That's the new podcast, baby. That's what people want.

Sorry, I piss in my ears.

You're probably the piss out of your ears.

No one has talked about my leopard coat and I've been wearing it this entire time. That's a leopard coat?

That's a leopard coat? You have trained me not to make fun of your appearance. So I never will.

Why would you make fun of this? I look like an incredible divorcee. What's the material, Erin?

Would you tell, would you describe it as mop?

Fur. No, I'm just kidding.

This is not fur. It's fleece. It's fleece?

It feels like sandpaper.

Why are you touching it? It's so soft.

It's so soft. Anyways, I look incredible. I look like I'm about to throw red wine in my ex-husband's face. I got it like an hour ago. I didn't buy it. It was a gift. Wow.

And also, Erin, speaking of, how is the divorce? Not amicable?

Not amicable in the time of my life.

Not amicable.

I love drama.

And you were married to an amiibo? What's the story here?

You got this... I got this from my boyfriend's mother who brought us Valentine's Day gifts.

What we need to create right now before we move forward, we need to create a term for the parents of the person you're dating. So you can't say mother-in-law because that would imply marriage. But we need to create a term for significant other's parents so we don't have to say... My backup?

No, that's not quite right. My second choice?

No. My thank yous? Because you thank them for their... Hear me out.

What if you call them your fuck parents?

Ooh.

I like it. Erin, I'm sold.

I might call them their names.

I'm happy and fuck parents. What if their names are the same as your parents' names? Then you can't do that. And that happens to a lot of people who are fucking their cousins. Or their brothers.

Sisters. What's up guys?

We need the name, the term. We need the term. We have fuck parents, but you shot it down.

Red Baron, Red Aaron, Red Baron Keif. Love your pizza.

So this is your significant other.

You're like your boyfriend. The other day I hung out with Gemma's dad and I don't know, there's times where I don't know what to call her. I know what to call her but I don't know, I don't want to say like I'm going to dinner.

I'm honestly into SOPOs. Significant others, parents. SOPAs. SOPAs. A total social SOPAs. Sopa's.

Wait, wouldn't it be... Is Sopa's a thing? Is that a thing that's already... Sopa Pia's! Sopa Pia. Sorry, don't go in the bathroom, my Sopa Pia's.

We have very smart people who have their master's degrees, who listen to this podcast. How about they tell us?

Yeah, but they're not creative. Let's do Sopa's.

No, and then we also have... They're unlistenable.

Let's do Sopa's. They probably can't have significant others either.

They're gonna die alone.

Okay, but our entire listenership is people getting their master's degrees.

Sopa De Ropa, Portia De Rossi, Sopa De Ropa.

I think it's gonna be Sopa. Sopa. Did you meet my SOPAs? I went out with my SOPAs. I love that. Yeah, I like that, Jim.

I will. And hey, if Sopa is a slur that we are not aware of. Tweet it at the show. Let us know. We'll apologize. We'll send an email. We'll send an email to all the offended parties. There's a, there's a parrot out there with Sarissa. She's like, Sopa?

That's what I am.

I think Sopa is good. It's a Sarissa's parrot. I think Sopa is good.

Well, my Sopa gave me this coat and I feel very warm.

I have a pull out Sopa. I also do, I also do love, so I don't know about you guys, but do you call your parents or did you ever call your parents by their first names? Like,

I would do it to my mom while she was at work to humiliate her and put her in her place. No, just to make her laugh. I'm kidding.

My mom is Vicki, my dad is Larry, and we never really called them anything but mom and dad I think growing up. My brother's grandpa calls my mom Miss Vic, or called my mom Miss Vic, and so I think it's funny to call her Miss Vic, but we never really did that. But when I met other people's parents and they would introduce themselves as their first name, like Jeff, I always loved the fact that I could be like, hey, Jeff! It's because I can't do that with your parents. So I do like calling. It's pretty great. Significant others, you know, adult people by their first name because then, you know, your significant other won't do that.

Especially when you're like a 12 year old kid and you're like, Hey Jeff.

You're like, Oh my God, I'm a man. When you're a 12 year old kid and you get to be like, Hey Dave, how's the divorce going?

Hey Maureen, can you get me some juice?

Hey Todd, these tacos are sub par.

Until I was like high school, college age, we said miss and mister. I'd be like, Mr. Anderson, can we play soccer in the backyard? I don't think I called them their first names until college age.

That makes sense. It's probably not until you're an adult that you get introduced as You know, hey, this is my dad Jeff.

There's a weird thing. So my mom is Patricia. My dad is Shoki. Shoki is my middle name. But there's a weird thing in Middle Eastern culture where... Well, it's not weird. It's perfectly natural. They get down on a carpet and they fly around. There's a weird thing in- I can show you our culture. There's a weird thing where they, other people call my dad Abu Adl, which is father of Adal. So every time people would like, if I'm with my dad and people would see him in the community or at the mosque or, you know, if we go to prayer on Friday or something or go out for dinner or something, people would be like, oh, Abu Adl. And I'm like, I would look up and be like, hello. And they're like, no, you idiot. I'm talking to your dad. Is that because you're the first born? It's because I'm the first born son. My sister's older, but in Middle Eastern culture, go figure. Yeah. So if there were other sons, they would still call him Abuado? I think, I mean, now I'm like, he's in, he's in Texas and has, I have like half brothers and sisters. Texas rules.

Texas rules. Texas rules. I don't want your wife.

I don't want my wife. I'm sorry to the 10 people who said they'd never listen again if I said that. Fuck you. Wow, that's quite an apology. That's a JPC-level apology. People are like, don't ever say that or I'll stop listening. And by the way, I have ears, fucker, can you hear me?

J.B.C. apology is, I'm sorry if you were offended.

That sucks. Thank God I'm here.

J.B.C. today you are Sopa. Yes. Sopa De Ropa.

I just play it safe and call everyone hot stuff. Can we play soccer in the backyard?

I call significant others parents big spender. I don't have old fashioned, but I think it's great if you call the man big spinner, you call the woman hot stuff. That's just how I was raised. Mom Uber and the dad lift.

Love it.

There was a time growing up, and I'll never forget this, but we were driving home from my grandparents' house, and it was me and my two brothers in the car with my mom. My mom was driving. My mom was at a stoplight. Did you say mom was at a stoplight? My mom was at a stoplight. She was taking a drink of a Dr. Pepper, and my little brother just says, mom, how many times have you been to prison? And my mom spit Dr. Pepper all over the front. That's incredible.

And then said eight.

Well, what was funny was my mom was a stenographer, and so sometimes she would have to go into, like, county jail and do depositions, you know, as stenographers. And so my little brother was asking, like, how many times has she been to prison? But the matter-of-fact way of just asking an adult, like, how many times has she been in a slammer?

Most adults go there, right? Most adults go to jail.

Did you type up all her episodes? She could, yeah. But it would be a shorthand, the stenographer code. It's like a phonetic shorthand, so it's not real words, and then they have to transcribe it from the shorthand.

If she does it, the payment will be, we will release you back to her. Back to her custody. We'll take you out of your tank and release you back to the ocean.

I think there's also programs now that do that to various degrees of, you know, readability.

It's called Shazam. Now, sonographers just hold up the app Shazam.

And they're like, you're listening to Hey Riddle Riddle.

What if we were like talking in public and someone's Shazam doesn't, they were like, this is a bad podcast.

I know that voice. We're laughing, but in two years that's how technology will work. You'd be like, who is this person? You'll scan them and you'll look at their fucking LinkedIn.

You'll hold up your camera and it'll scan faces and be like, here's a celebrity. Here's your three degrees from this person. You have mutual friends with this. Yeah, my Starbucks app will give my Dunkin Donuts a blowjob.

It's going to happen. It's going to be the future.

What?

This is your ex wearing a fake face. We all know it's going to happen.

This is your ex wearing a fake face.

That's a Mission Impossible shit right there.

That happens to the best of us.

That happens to the best of us, Jeremy Renner. What a winner.

I'm ready for riddles, says no one.

So no one likes these riddles, but we're contractually obligated by Jake and Amir to do it. If we had our way, we'd talk about parents all day.

Hot steps.

Yes, but Amir demands that we do these riddles. We're a Headgum podcast still, right? Still on the network? Hopefully, please. Oh God. We're the lone Headgum podcast in Chicago. We gotta get some more Headgum podcasts.

Well, there's one other one, but it's not very good. No, I'm joking.

What if there is one and we just did it?

There's one and we just shit on it. They're the only one.

I think they're all LA except for us and then there's one in New York, I think? Possibly.

It might have changed. It might have changed.

There might be a couple of, yeah, they're actually, hey, check out, this is just a subtle point for everybody. Go to the Headgum's website. And there's like five new podcasts.

There's a ton of new podcasts. And they're all very good. But for now, you're listening to one very bad podcast and the theme of this very bad podcast is we do riddles. And since I'm a masochist, I'm going to do riddles from this blue book that we all hate so fucking much. I feel like we've been doing riddles out of this blue book by the way.

How much is my used car for?

It also seems like they're getting, you've gone through last pages. I know.

Every time I open this up, I'm like, how have we only gone through like six pages of this book? That book is basically, what's the, um, the Menorah, what's the family? Necronomicon. The Necronomicon, yes. You know, the Menorah family? When the Israelites took a dead skin. The Menorah, the story is like the, what is their name?

Oh, the, the oil?

What? The Maccabees. Maccafees? Hey, we're the right three to do this. The Maccabees, they had enough candle wax for one night, and somehow they made it last for eight nights. Eight nights, yeah. Crazy nights. That's this book. This book is the Maccafees candle.

I was gonna say this book looks like an eighth grade science textbook.

So for those of you who don't know the book that we're referring to, this is the book with riddles in them that are probably 30 years old and none of them are applicable anymore.

This is the book we used in the very first episode.

Oh it is, yeah. So here we go. The title of this riddle is Time for Repairs. Kevin got a new digital watch. You already know it's a good one guys. Kevin got a new digital watch and put it on his wrist. At work, he looked at the office clock and checked his watch. They showed the same time. Later that morning, he couldn't make sense of what the watch showed and decided to return it to the store. Then, before lunch, he again noted that his watch showed the correct time. During his lunch break, he returned to the store, but the sales clerk to whom he showed the watch noted that it showed the correct time, and Kevin agreed that it did. Kevin was soon satisfied that he had a watch that worked perfectly, but the clerk neither opened it for repairs nor replaced it. Explain.

Two solutions. Either one, Kevin is having a stroke. Or two, stroke of genius my good boy. Or two, the clerk he took it to was Jason Muse. High out of his mind, didn't know what he was talking about. Jason Muse.

Most of the people listening to this show know who Jason Muse is, right?

Was he looking at it in the sun or some shit? You know some shit?

I don't think that he would have... That's the shit that we're looking for.

So it's not like what lighting he was looking at it in.

Does the digital clock show time with Roman numerals or something? Is it something like that where it's an unorthodox method of...

Like military time?

No, it's a digital watch face, so it's not like, you know, there's no hands or anything.

But it's showing numbers as any clock or watch plate that's digital.

It's just showing numbers. And it's not looking at the sun. Unfortunately, I do have some hints for this one, so I can give you some of those.

That's terrible news. Your bedside manner is not very good.

No, I've got this clown nose on. Doctor, be honest. How much longer does this riddle have? Doctor, be honest. More like Johnny B. Horny, which is what I say when I hear about Michael B. Jordan.

Can I see a different doctor?

I would love to.

They don't let other doctors in this mental... Your bedside manner is terrible. You left at 7 a.m. this morning without even kissing me goodbye. Or breakfast. You don't like my bedside manor? I built this dollhouse out of my daughter.

Or she went missing.

That's the next doubt in Avi.

Did the watch work properly, even though Kevin at first didn't think it did?

Yes. Okay. So both times he went to the clerk, it was working? It was working.

It was all working the whole time. Earlier, had Kevin properly set it to the correct time? That's important. Yes. When Kevin noticed something wrong, was the watch showing an incorrect time from running too fast or slow? No. Is Kevin trying to get it for free? Yeah, dude, he can get it for free. Kevin, you can get it for free. You can fucking get it for free. No, he's not. He's not trying to rip anybody off. Everyone in this story is being very earnest. Earnest goes to watch.

But it has nothing to do with visuals.

It has everything to do with visuals, my dear boy.

Can I call you out for a second? Sure. I wanted to make an Ernest joke, but then earlier I got my hand slapped when I mentioned Jason Muse. So I thought it best not to mention Ernest, and then you did, and you looked at me like you're a superstar.

Ernest is the silent bob of our generation.

Let me flip a coin and decide who stays.

Ready?

That coin just has two of DC's heads.

Hit me in the eye. I'm leaning.

Do you clowns have an answer for this riddle? It's a little rude. Well, yes. I'm sorry.

It's rude to call this a riddle. All the hints did was say like, everyone's telling the truth and that's it.

So you were on the right track, you were on the right track with... Nothing was broken on this watch, and it's a display issue. It's an issue of Kevin reading the display. Is he colorblind? He's not colorblind, and that's not what colorblindness is.

When you can't see time, right? So that's what shares colorblind, right?

I think Kevin's recently obsessed with people putting on the colorblind glasses and crying.

Oh, you mean those videos of people seeing color for the first time?

Those are very good.

It's like the, you know, people hearing for the first time.

Did you see the one with, like, it was like a bride and groom first look and she brought him those glasses and he was like, these are so expensive. Like, why did you buy it? Like, I'm so sorry. We're ruined. And then, yeah, basically, and then he put them on and the first thing he saw was her and her wedding dress.

And he's like, you're red? Yes, you married me.

No, no, no, I'm leaving.

Congratulations. I would love it if those videos had more of an arc to them and it was like we, you know, you give like a six-year-old girl a hearing aid for the first time and suddenly she can like hear the sounds of the world and she's just overcome with emotion and then you show her a graph of like how we're gonna run out of water in 12 years.

He's like, I love my cochlear implant but now I want a water?

But the bottles are going away?

I wanted to give a little kid a cochlear implant and then be like, can you hear? And they start crying like, I can hear. And then they put on Chris Gaines. And the kid's like, I'm good. Putting it up. Take it up. Actually, Nanny's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's very true. Fred Drescher.

What's the answer to this riddle?

You don't just get the answer to the riddle.

Oh, wait.

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. That's how it goes. OK. So real quick. Kevin got his digital watch and put it on his wrist. At work, he looked at the office clock and checked his watch. They showed the same time. So at work, it's right. First time he checks it. Later that morning, he couldn't make sense of what his watch showed him and decided to return to the store. Then before lunch... Was it upside down? Erin, it is upside down. Cue the music. You got it. You nailed it.

It's a digital watch. Erin wins again.

When he first looked at his watch in the morning, it showed the time as 10.01. Upside down? What is that? Correct. It's 10-0-1. You both looked at me like you didn't know where you fucking were or what was going on.

What did I say when I sat down? I said I'm having a cloudy day today.

Later that morning it showed 11-11. What's 11-11 upside down?

One, one, one, one.

10-0-1. Great. It's 10-0-1. Adal, very good. During his lunch break it showed 12-21. The rest of the morning it did not show the correct time. Kevin was unknowingly wearing his digital watch upside down.

Can I say something pretty fucking crazy that he looked at his work clock and his watch at the exact right times?

That's true. Well was it Kevin Sorbo because he's blessed by the gods?

This is written in like 1981, so we can assume it was Kevin Sorbo. Hold on, this riddle book is written by Kevin Sorbo?

Wait, read it again.

Read it again. What's that?

Read it again.

Okay, this riddle book is written by Kevin Sorbo? There we go.

All right, I want to see a scene. Adal, you're a boss. You're a very serious boss. JPC. Your box.

I was like, where's this going?

Adal, you're a very serious box.

Honestly, we're gonna do that next. You're a serious box. And JBC, you are late for the fifth time that week, it's a Friday, you've been late all week, and you're just gonna do as many excuses as it takes to be forgiven by your boss.

Gotcha.

Hey Michael. Grab a chair. Hey, Dan. Did you get new teeth? Yes, I did. Thank you. They look great. Oh, they were my grandpa's. Wow, congratulations. He passed away and... Oh, I'm so sorry to hear.

Yeah, we just wanted to... Well, I will see you a little later today.

Oh, sorry. This was about my teeth, but I had something else that I just remembered. Oh. The last five days you've been late. Now, I'm not going to get into your period, but I know that That tends to mean that you're out late drinking or you don't care about your job anymore?

No. Oh my God. I'm so glad that you brought this up with your new teeth. You know how I have been wanting to do more charity work. I've been giving blood. I didn't know that. Yeah. I've been trying to get into more charity work ever since I... Is giving blood charity work? Yes. It seems like a stretch. Well, no, because it's the blood, what I've been told is they're giving my blood to people who really are not doing well. As opposed to healthy people and sometimes blood goes to just healthy people. Sometimes they give it to dogs to make them faster.

Your blood makes dogs faster. Sorry, let me lock the door here. Can I, can I have some of it? Well, I have a race tomorrow. I have a marathon tomorrow.

Iron Man.

It actually makes dogs faster. It makes humans sluggers. Sorry, I'm going to race to see how fast I can watch Iron Man.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, I can give you the blood. I just donated, so I am going to need, I think it's like seven hours before the blood regenerates. And I'll probably need some cookies and orange juice.

Yeah, whatever you want, and if I can get you a raise or whatever you need. Can I also say something? Yeah, I can use a shave. Oh, great. Can I also say something? Go ahead. Just away from the rest of the employees. I really just want to thank you for, I know a lot of people didn't respect, you know, a box with teeth as their boss. I saw the drawings, I saw people taking supplies, boxes from supplies and drawing faces on them and go, this boss? I never look at those. Okay. Yeah. But yes, I mean, I understand that. And also I know I'm your direct boss, but Zipp, I'm an undercover box. I'm actually the CEO of the entire company. You're the CEO. I was in that smaller box. The corrugated? E-O. You're fired.

Can we get away with doing a full scene from Death of a Salesman without crediting them?

Yeah. Arthur Miller's estate is married to Daniel Delos. Ah.

Are you married to Daniel Delos for that reference? Arthur Miller's daughter is married to Daniel Delos. So I've got another one for you guys. They met when he was in the Crucible. Wow, Seven of the Cruises, Kevin Bacon. This one is titled Watching the Game. Kevin had a sports bar.

That's one of my favorite movies. Top five movies of all time. Watching the game. Michael Douglas and Sean Penn, The Game. Have you ever seen it? Yeah.

It might be a good review crew.

If you're an Escape to the Room fan or even just like a puzzle or like, you know, nerd, you would love The Room. So good. The Room? No. No, what did I say?

The Game.

The Game.

The Room is very different. Everybody loves The Room. You guys know I'm drunk. The game is the one where Michael Douglas is like, he pays for a service or someone pays? No, Sean Penn. Well, don't pay, yeah.

Okay, I'm not going to ruin it, but the premise is that- It's his birthday and he gets a special experience, but it doesn't go as planned. It's like a, but it's like a kidnapping thing, right? Yeah, I mean, it's like people are out to get him or fucking with this movie.

What year is that movie? I'd say 98 or something?

98?

Yeah, I was going to say late 90s. Because I must have watched that when I was a kid.

I would say that in Copland are like two of the most underrated movies of all time.

I watched that and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang in the same weekend and now they're sort of the same movie in my head. I get parts of those, I go wait which one and then I remember.

Can I tell you Kiss Kiss Bang Bang for me was a transformational movie to watch. I think it was the first Like dark comedy that I ever was either cognizant of or like truly like was at an age where I could watch and appreciate but man oh man that movie's so dark and so fucking funny.

When they're in the bar and they're saying that person looks like blank like oh my god I'm like this you can write like that in a movie like hey typically it's it's the most forced you know we should watch that for recycled shit yeah

But also Robert Downey Jr.

's energy in that, speaking to a young JP.

In that movie, he is such a good actor. And Val Kilmer, I think, is also super underrated. He's so fun. The scene where Robert Downey Jr. accidentally shoots the guy in the parking lot because he didn't know how many bullets were left in it. And Val Kilmer goes, who taught you math? Oh, God. That's a really fucking great movie. But this is not a great movie. This is a terrible riddle. And the title is Watching the Game. Kevin at a sports bar, won with several TV screens, hooked up to a satellite receiver, and tuned to receive popular sports events. One day, there was a ballgame in a stadium nearby. The game blacked out from the local TV stations, and even from local satellite receivers. But Kevin and his customers saw the game on TV anyway.

The reflection of the game. The reflection of the game because it was nearby was on the TV.

Oh, TVs were upside down.

Yes. Yes. Adal's, unfortunately, Adal's correct. The TVs were upside down. The TV was the mother. But every time they looked, it was a close up of the ball. So you couldn't tell if it was up or down.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. These are all wrong answers and they piss me off.

My mind was right.

They punch you off. No.

Yes, it was.

What was yours? Yes, it was. No.

Shoving you in this locker. Yes! Sam Eiser was right!

Sam Eiser was right! I want to see a scene. Don't even attempt to guess, you just go right in the scene. The two of you go to the same high school. Erin, you're a little bit older, a little bit more mature for your age. James, you're a little younger and smaller. And Erin, you're a bully but a bit of an unorthodox bully in terms of your methods and means. Um, excuse me, I just, I just need to get to class.

Excuse me, I just need to get to class. You're not getting by me.

Please, Marge. Please! I can't be late again. I'm gonna get in trouble. No! No one believes that you're... ...stomping me from going to class.

You know how to get by me. What do I say?

You say I have to call my dad and tell him that I love him on the phone.

Yeah, call your parents and tell them you love them because you don't know how long they're going to be around.

I don't want to. I'm, I'm, I have all these emotions and moves.

Give me your phone.

Here you go.

I'm going to text your mom. No, please. Oh, here I go. She can't read tone from text.

She won't, no, it's not me.

Um, Principal Williams, um, I just want to, I just wanted to say that Marge in school, you know Marge, she's been bullying my son. I receive a dozen calls a day from my son telling me he loves me and it's disrupting my life.

Is there something that can be done? Did your son mention if Marge was a student or part of the faculty?

No, just said that she has a leopard print faux fur coat.

Interesting, interesting, interesting. What is this?

What do we call that? Cheetah silk? Is that your nickname Cheetah Silk?

Yeah, we call it Cheetah Silk. I'll find this Marge, shoot it. You're sweating profusely. And I'll put her in her place, huh?

What's this name tag here? Marriage?

Yeah, my name is Marriage.

Is that short for you're married?

Did you rat on me?

No.

You freakin' rat. Principal marriage, we never do that.

Okay, no, so Erin, you were wrong. You keep insisting that you're right, but it was incorrect. Can we hear the riddle again, please?

I did that, because remember the Patreon episode where you kept making me the principal, and then this time I decided to be the principal.

Hey, you got to own your power. Kevin at a sports bar, won with several TV screens, hooked up to a satellite receiver, and tuned to receive popular sports events.

Sorry, GPC, I'm gonna put you on the spot. Can you tell me what the name of the sports bar was? Dick's Final Shutter.

I am glad you asked.

One day there was a ball game in a stadium nearby. The game was blacked out from the local TV stations and even from local satellite receivers. But Kevin and his customers saw the game on TV anyway. How?

The TVs, he didn't have TVs. No, he did. He just had windows that he put dials on. No, it's not about, it's not about windows looking into the stadium. It's a bar for idiots. Damn, that's clear reception. And no commercials ever. And bugs.

Well, some commercials.

The TV never works when it writes.

Sometimes a coke truck drives by. That's a commercial.

I just want to apologize for my cousin Darren last week falling through your TV and dying. He fell out of a fourth story TV.

I'm glad you're apologizing for that.

He fell into a TV and fell 24. If you die on TV, you die in real life.

Okay.

Okay, we've had our fun.

You know, what's important here is that it's close by.

Would you like, no. That is, I think that's what Adal's going for with like the TV's the window, but it's not like... No, I said that before with the flexion, but it's like not, it's like you don't need the, you don't need a... He's using the satellite.

Here, let me give you some, let me give you some of these Q&As for this one. Can I answer something real quick? Not answer, can I attempt? You would like to solve the puzzle? Spin the wheel? Are there any A's? 700. There are three A's.

There are 700 A's.

There are 700 A's. Something Italian sausage? What does Fonzie say?

Oh man, I almost threw up in my mouth.

That's what Fazu says? I almost threw them in my mouth. Is it a thing, I don't know a ton about satellites, satellite suggests that you're trying to get a signal from far away? Yes. Is it? Is it that they were in the radius of like the public broadcast or something? Like it didn't matter that their satellite was out? It's such close proximity.

That's what I was trying to make with it being closed.

No. So, yeah, I mean, I think that you're on the right track, but that's not the right conclusion there. Because, okay, let me give you some clues for this. So, did Kevin use an illegally manufactured descrambler? That's like the transponder that he was using. No. Did he have an accomplice at a TV station or at a satellite company? No. Did he have a non-competing accomplice who ran another sports bar?

Yes. What? A non-competing accomplice? Yes.

He just stole the cable from a different bar.

This is like that movie Be Kind Rewind where they accidentally delete all the movies and they have to reenact them.

I forgot that movie existed until just now. You said Be Kind Rewind and I was like, this can't possibly be a thing. That was a Jack Black vehicle, correct?

No, movie. Hold on, sometimes Cars is movies.

Sometimes Cars is movies.

Sometimes Cars 2s is movies.

Pixar could say that Cars is movies. So yeah, he had to accomplish at a non-competing sports bar. So it's a chain. No, it's not a chain.

It's not a chain. Is his friend's sports bar in the stadium? His friend is filming it and then sending him life feet from the camcorder? That is a very good guess, but no.

They're stealing cable from the guy next door.

It's kind of that, but not really. So let me think of the... And cable, when we say cable, we mean the X-band from the future? Yes. Okay, great. Played by Thanos, what's that guy's name? Ron Froman? No, what's his name? Uh, God, the guy who plays that. Barbara Streisand's, uh... Jack Black.

Yeah. Josh Brolin. Josh Brolin.

Uh... Is that real?

Yeah. Josh Brolin played Thanos and Cable. Thanos and Cable. And I think those movies came out relatively close. I say Thanos, you say Cable. Thanos. Thanos and Cable.

Let's call it the whole thing snap. Patano. Patano.

Aaron is blacking out. She's post-potato. She's got no options.

Y'all ask too much for me.

Okay, okay. I'm just gonna give you the answer on this one. Yes, I like that. I think you guys were very close. So, you're gonna love this. Satellite signals are generally scrambled. To receive them in usable form, you buy an electronic device, a transponder, and pay royalties to the satellite company, which in turn sets your transponder to unscramble the appropriate signals. I'll take my egg, satellite. Kevin's accomplice ran a sports bar in a distant city and also had a transponder. To obtain unscrambled signals of locally blacked out games, they merely swapped transponders.

This riddle is written as if someone was writing a riddle but had a gun to their head from a mafioso and they said, no specifics. How the hell was I supposed to get that one?

I'm serious. Adal, you're that guy, you're the mafioso guy, and JPC, you have to scramble to make up a riddle. That makes any bit of sense.

I need that riddle yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah boss. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah, a riddle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I worked on it. Okay. Let's hear it. And remember.

Yeah. Make the riddle.

Yeah. My kid sister wants the riddle. It's for her birthday. Okay. So, so. Which is also her wedding day. Yeah. And on a wedding day, you can't refuse. Can't refuse a riddle's offer. So. Horsehead. Horsehead was in the bed.

Al Pacino. Al Capone.

Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone.

Al Capone. Al Capone.

Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone. Al Capone.

You said your milk is shake. Be more vague.

Okay, he's in a non-specifically branded chocolate milk drink. Chocolate's too specific. Okay, boy oh boy, non-specifically branded Bovine additive flavor enhance.

I like it.

Okay. And this man, he's very sick.

Every third day, he- Too specific. I'm sorry. Moxie, shoot his kneecap.

No, no, no, no, no.

Here I come to shoot your kneecap.

Don't get in close. You're gonna get kneecap all over your jacket.

I have bad eyesight. I gotta go right up to the kneecap to get the kneecap.

Oh no, she's getting too close to the TV. Oh no! We all fell through the TV. We landed.

We're fine. Keep going. Oh, welcome. I'm the nanny.

Okay. I'll take, uh, are there any A's?

This scene started so clean.

Speaking of clean, let's all take some time to wipe the blood off of ourselves and we'll be back right after these Riddle Brooms.

Riddle Brooms.

Hey Erin, Adal, guess what?

What? I'm losing my hair. Wait a minute. Congratulations. Happy birthday.

Yeah. One happy birthday too. Why are you so happy about that?

Buried the lead, I guess. It's my birthday and I'm losing my hair. I'm happy because it doesn't have to be this way. Hooray. What? That's right. Now, I'm using Keeps. Do you guys know that two out of three guys will experience some form of male pattern baldness by the time they're 35 and I'm, what, 20 years away from that? I'm lucky to have avoided that. I have female pattern baldness. With today's advancements in science, Keeps offers proven treatments that can combat the symptoms of hair loss and help you keep the hair you have at half the cost of your local pharmacy. And I go into that local pharmacy and they're always up-charging me. You want more cigarettes? Do you want to buy more cigarettes? Show me an ID. Oh boy, that pharmacy.

Stop taking all of our Cheez-Its. You're buying us out of all of our Cheez-Its.

And you don't have to go broke to avoid going bald. Keeps offers generic versions of the only two FDA approved hair loss products out there. Some of you have tried them before, but you probably didn't use them right, and never at this price. Huh, so we're just gonna let that Cheez-Its thing go? Okay, fine. For a while I was telling you I was dyeing my hair orange, I was just taking cheese and crushing them into my hair and helping cover up my baldness.

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Go. Say it again. No. Come on.

Fine. Keeps.com slash riddle. Hair today, hair tomorrow.

Hair, hair.

Hair, hair.

Hey guys. Hey Erin. Hey Erin. Oh hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm a little bit stressed.

Oh, are you experiencing stress? Oh, did you go back to college?

Yeah, I went back to college, I went back to being 18, and I'm just like really nervous about who my roommate's gonna be. You know, college stuff.

Oh, you're 18? This is the way an 18 year old looks and talks? Nothing. Nothing. What were you gonna say? I'm sure, Erin, I'm sure there's lots of anxiety around that too.

Of course, and I'm having a hard time falling asleep. And I was just wondering, do you know anything about the world of CBD? Any recommendations on how I can get into that?

Erin, you know that Feels is a sponsor of this show, right?

Oh my god, I love Feels.

Yes, of course. Who doesn't love Feels? It's premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep.

And since I'm new, I can call a CBD hotline to help guide me through the discovery process.

That's something that Feels offers, and they'll help guide you through your own personal experience using Feels.

They'll also deliver their premium CBD directly to your doorstep. Well, I mean your dorm step, I guess I should say. Yeah, it's a dorm step.

It naturally helps you reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. That's what I use it for most, sleeplessness, but I am new to it at the beginning of this ad, but I've also used it.

Hold on. Why don't we say that I have personal experience using feels? Okay, go. What is it? Well, it's, it comes in a little dropper and you drip, drip, drip, drop the little droplets on your tongue and it takes you to a natural land of reduced stress, anxiety, and pain.

I call it Relaxville. And when I take Feel CBD, I'm the mayor of Relaxville. I got a little sash and everything. Warning, you may lose the vote for Mary's life.

And if you want to use Feels, you join their membership, you join the Feels community, and you get Feels delivered to your door every single month.

But you can pause or cancel any time, which is very cool.

He was about to say that, Erin. No, I wasn't. I truly was not. I was never going to say that. He was never going to say that.

Can I walk that back? Hey guys, I'm going to college.

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CBD stands for come on baby. Do it.

And we're back. The year is 2023. We're still solving riddles from the Blue Book. It's the only thing that's keeping us alive or is it killing us?

We don't know. I got younger. What are you?

What are you doing? How? I'm sitting in a kiddie pool drinking a martini and I'm like 19 now? I look amazing.

But your head is sewn onto a kiddie. You shouldn't drink a martini if you're 19.

Don't be a freaking narc, dude.

You're under future arrest. Yes, we're precogs. Let me put on the space cuffs. Precogs can still get you pregnant. Everyone precogs.

It's common. It's common. Baby, where are you going?

It happens to lots of cogs. Just a little precog.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we have more riddles from the terrible book?

I know. I think that if we have any more riddles from the blue book today, all of our brains will explode. And mine included. I hate reading them. So we did too. We should all get medals for that. And by medals I do mean bullets in our brains. Metal. So instead we are going to do a riddle from a listener. This listener goes simply by Anurin. Anurin. A-n-e-u-r-i-n. Anurin.

Sort of like my name, but just different bells.

A-n-e-u-r-i-n. Maybe it's just Erin. Anurin. I don't know how to pronounce it. They definitely did not say how to pronounce it, but the email is titled I am become Old Man Riddle, destroyer of brain cells. So you know what it's gonna be.

Oh! This person's listened to every episode.

So, uh, and Erin, I'm just gonna say A from now on. Who is A? Uh, A says, uh... Is it a pretty little Irish reference? Yes, it's a pretty little Irish reference.

From you? There's a secret, can you keep it? Don't know it. Now this one you make. Then lock it in your pocket.

Put this one in the grave. I love that you're saying the dirty little singer song. Dirty little singer song.

I love that you're seeing it as if it's a 1950s USO show. And now Bob Hope.

My reference point for Pretty Little Liars is there was maybe four or five years ago there was like a before the movies thing that I would see all the time in like the pre-Maria Minutos. Did you say Maria Minutal?

I'm Maria Minutal. I'm a sentient cup and ramen and I'm here to tell you about smartwalls.

Maria Minutos. She just has like tattoos all over her body to remind her.

I'm here to talk to you about

Pass the Furious 9? Riva Gruber.

There was like a next season on Pretty Little Liars and they were all talking about like who is A and like we're discovering the identity of A. That's my only reference.

Miriam and Noodle.

The whole conceit is like there's a blog at the school that nobody knows who's writing it. Is that it?

That's Gossip Girl.

Oh what's then what's A? Who's A? A killed someone. And they're not dirty or pretty?

They're pretty little liars.

Dirty sexy money with a different television show.

Okay, pretty, if I, if my memory serves me, pretty little liars is these four best friends and there used to be a fifth best friend and her name was Allie and she died. And then the four best friends are trying to move on, but they're at her funeral and they get a text from her, from A, Allie. And so they're just trying to figure out if someone's messing with them or if she's not really dead. But A has all sorts of dark information about this town.

And JPC, who's saying a pretty black backpack?

That was Buck Cherry. No, that was Liam and Noodle. It was Stroke 9. It was also Jay and Silent Bob were featured in that video, I believe. Little black backpack. Yeah, so it all comes full circle. Jason Muse. Would you guys eat Jason Musely? Yeah. Why not? Here's a story riddle and a math riddle that I know probably slightly mangled from memory so feel free to edit as needed. I won't. Here's the first one. Don't send us your riddle to edit. A lot of people send us riddle homework. Three brothers took part in a marathon. The first brother was of medium build and went at a medium pace. The second brother was short and fat and walked leisurely.

As soon as you said medium pace, Casey started to smile, and 100% I know it's because of the Adam Sandler song.

Also medium pace, that's how I like my salsa. Thank you. Medium pace picante. Yeah, medium pace picante. The third brother was faster than everyone else, and everyone bet that he would win. He was second. Who won? What was the second brother? First brother was a medium build and went at a medium pace. The second brother was short and fat and walked leisurely. The third brother was faster than everyone. And everyone bet that he would win, he was second. Who won?

Second to one of the brothers or just second in the race in general?

He was second. I think it's our three brothers took part in a marathon. I think it's just the three of them basically.

The person who won isn't one of them.

No, no, it's just the three brothers.

There's no one else in the marathon. They started at different times.

He was second. No, they all started at the same time. It was a fair race, I would say. Was the winner like a dog who drinks some blood?

Yeah, was the winner a dog who drinks some blood?

Yes, this listener listened to our previous movie. It was a dog who drinks some blood. No, that is not correct. So their build, I would say, probably matters a lot here. First brother, medium build, medium pace. Second brother, short, fat, leisurely pace. Third brother, faster than everyone, but they came in second.

The second brother one.

Did we say how long the race was? What's that? Did you say how long the race is? Is this like a tortoise and the hare situation? No, it's a marathon. It's not a tortoise and a hare.

Can you imagine if I never heard that?

You know the Pretty Little Liars song, but you don't know.

No, I really don't. I did a lot of secrets, and we're keeping fits, and there's makeup there too, and there's golden little jewelry, and there's a cute ball just like you.

Just like me? Keep saying we're gonna, uh, Jap's not gonna back off the mic so we can get a clean take so anybody who wants to spice this in to the intro can watch that on their computers. Go ahead.

There's a secret, don't you keep it, we're right by a grave. There's a pocket in your locket, puttin' this one near the graves. If I show you about coffins and blonde women too, and two can keep your socket, cause this one isn't dead.

Can we set up that throne in the ocean?

Can we set up a separate Patreon where just Erin tries for a memory to like recreate theme songs?

I'll do a hundred!

Let's hear the weed's theme song, Erin.

Little boxes and we're getting high Little boxes made of jiggy-taggy little boxes we are high And the show has a weird tone There's a pink one and a green one and a blue one And the mom and son want to fuck. Give me another, give me another.

Golden Girls.

What is that? Thank you for being a friend. What is that? Thank you for being a friend. Only one of us is still alive.

Give me another one.

Scrambled eggs in cotton. She's listening Steve. You're real. She's listening Steve. This was the wrong exercise right there.

Okay, so I will say that this marathon in this riddle... Marathon gas station. It is metaphorical.

Okay.

The marathon is... My life is a metaphorical marathon. So, alright, let's see if you can get the answer without knowing how. The question is who won, and there's three brothers.

Oh, is one O-N-E? Who won? No, it's who W-O-N.

The second brother?

No. Is this...when we talk about... The second brother or did not? Hold on. No. Both times when we ask place or we talk about one or second, are we talking about age or finishing?

All it says is the third brother was faster than everyone else and everyone bet that he would win, he was second, who won.

Is it when they say he's faster than everyone, it doesn't say he's as fast as at race, as fast as at running, it could be as fast as at sex.

That's true. But it's more of a metaphor. It's more of a metaphor so it doesn't really have to do with a foot race.

Okay, well, I said, was it the first brother who won? No. He said no, and I said, was it the second brother who won? You said no, so no one won.

Birth order? No.

The first brother won or the third brother won? Yes. And he got second.

He didn't get second. He was second.

He was second. He was second in the order of the brothers, but he won the round.

I gotta see a scene. I'm sorry. I have to see a scene. But I was right. This is going to be, Japes and I are announcers for the Olympics. Erin, you are doing the 400 meter dash for the USA. You have entered yourself In the competition twice, so you take up two lanes somehow and you're going to somehow try to come in first and second and you're mic'd up. And here we go, the 400 meter dash.

Bit of an odd one this year, as the US and Canada is being represented by one racer.

I'm in a serpentine, I think.

And she's in lane one and seven.

Did I try to run backwards? No, that's nothing.

And they're on their blocks?

We have miked her up. It's the only racer that is miked up.

We shouldn't do it, but hell. And the mic back weighs about, would we say, 15 pounds? Yeah. We don't

I'm in the first lane, and then I'm in the side side side to seven, and now I'm in seven, and then side side side side.

She looks like doing the Newton's Cradle, just bouncing to and fro, pendulous swing. It looks like she has three or four hernias now.

I've never seen that many spontaneous hernias.

You know what? I'm just going to run right across the field.

In my career.

In the middle. And then, oh, I laugh. I'm in front of everyone.

Of course, this woman famously can't think internally.

Run, run, run, run, run, run. Race. You mic me up if you didn't want me to do this. Run, run, run, run, run. Here we go.

I think she can hear us talk.

Well, yes. She's got a headset. And unbelievable.

Canada has finished in first and Canada's running backwards and now running back across in America. Oh wow.

Has gotten third. And the world is embroiled in war. Okay, so we were close.

I was right.

Say it again, Erin.

He was the second brother in birth order, but he won first in the marathon.

No, because every part of this is metaphorical. There is no birth order.

He died first. He was born second, but he died first.

There's no birth order because these are three brothers in a metaphorical sense. None of these, none of these are born. Oh, Bible, the Bible.

The Bible brothers, four brothers, analogous, analgus, analgus, analgus, analgus.

What did somebody call her, analgus? Don't touch my screws.

We've come for your daughter, Chuck.

Okay, so. Analgus, analgus, analgus. When I say that these are three brothers, so their physical description matters. They're not actually family. It's metaphorical. They're not people and there's no race. They're not people and there's no race. It's all a metaphor for something else, but they're physical.

You always say there's no race. We get it.

It's post-racial America.

I'm colorblind and completely colorblind.

I can't tell time. Are they squares? Are they circles?

Adal was close. Can't tell time.

They're numbers.

They're stars. No.

They're clocks.

Clocks. All right, I'll read it again. They're hands on a clock.

Correct. The second hand, the minute hand. Bingo, bingo, hot, hot, hot. The answer is that the third brother won and it's a metaphor for the hands on a clock. The first brother is the minute hand, came in second out of the brothers. Brother two is the hour hand, came last out of them. And brother three is the second hand who won. So they were second, but they also won. That's a clock.

Well, I want to see a scene. I'll be the second hand because I talk the fastest. JPC.

That was my high school nickname.

You'll be the minute hand and you're gonna be the hour hand. Ready?

Yeah. My bed is too warm. My bed is too cold.

I'm moving too fast to be in a bed.

You have to go to bed, young miss. Yes, look at the hour. It's midnight.

Way ahead of you. Why am I red and you two aren't?

Because you're a Republican. Yes, we're both Democrats.

The second hand is a Republican?

Yes.

Give me an example as to why.

Okay. Okay.

What about my policy? Scream Republican. Well, I'm on the other side of the clock now.

You're so long, you're the straightest one. Uh, and, uh, whoo. Okay. What else? Don't really want to wade into this. Also, it was your choice.

Coming back around and I'm passing you again.

Yes, it was your choice. I'm obviously not the tallest and the thinnest and not the shortest and the fattest, so I'm by definition a centrist, which makes me... The Democrats. What else?

I'm coming back to this side of the clock. So you, from now on, you want every listener of this show to think that the second hand on clocks are Republicans.

Well, that's not a B thing. We're gonna get so many Republicans taking videos of them. Burning their clocks in their front yard. Don't throw your Keurig out of your window.

And by the way, we've seen the videos. You're throwing the Keurig into a TV. Yes. That is very different.

I vote out of fear and not with my morals. Come back and around.

Seed. All right.

That took a turn.

Oh, hey, that's territory. We all wanted to walk. Here we go. Puzzle number two. This is also from A. This is the math one? It's a math one. Great. A person is buying the finishing touches for a house they're building from a hardware store. One cost 25 cents, 11 cost 50 cents, 111 cost 75 cents. When they leave, they've spent 75 cents, but can carry their purchase easily. What did they buy? I got it. Yeah. Do you know it?

I think I sincerely know.

I think Adal knows it.

I think he's so confident that he knows it. I believe it's, is it the, not plastic, is it like the 10 metal numbers that go on the outside of the house?

Ab stuff. Or not even, it could be. Yeah, yeah. It's the numbers that go on the outside of the house.

Oh nice.

So one cost 25, their new address was, you know, 111, whatever. But yes, they spent 75 cents. That's really good.

That's a really, really good one.

I like to come original. I like to come original. I want to see a scene.

It says that they're building their own house. If you're building your own house and you're not making it 420 whatever street you're on, you're a fucking idiot.

You get to choose what number you're... No!

I want to see a scene. Erin and Japes, you live in the same neighborhood. This is in a distant city. We'll say it's Milwaukee because we like Milwaukee. We do. And Japes just moved into the neighborhood. And he is, uh, Erin, you're his next door neighbor. You're on the same street. There's no cross street. You are 417 East Second Street. Um, somehow JPC's house says, um, 69 420 street.

Hey neighbor. Hey neighbor. Your grass is looking less dead.

Well, um, you know, it just takes a little TLC.

Oh yeah. Uh, and also Hey, get back to mowing.

No one's paying you to sing. I was a star. Yeah, were.

You were a star. Now you're a fucking lawnmower. Is it Chili out here, or is it just me, T-Bus?

I'm so sorry about them.

No, it's fine. We also have some washed-up haspens in our yard work.

Is that... Somebody once mowed me.

Is that three doors down?

I couldn't remember any of my songs.

That's a Smash Mouth song. They're doing Smash Mouth songs.

TLC, do you know any Smash Mouth songs? Walkin' On The Sun? What's the one from Shrek? Walkin' On The Sun? Yeah, that one.

Anyways, I noticed, and this is gonna sound crazy, when we were trick-or-treating at your house the other night, by the way, great candy. This is a stupid idea. What?

I know that TLC is single. Is Three Doors Down single as well?

Oh my god, are we playing matchmaker? Should we set them up? We're so bad. Is this that we're bored? Are we bored? Is this why we're doing this?

I don't know, but honestly, we're good people, and I think that we should pay for a date between the two of them.

Oh my god, we're rich.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes.

We cut to the restaurant. So, uh, do you want to get any appetizers? No, we're good. Where's the third one? She died. Is that the one who burned down the house? Yeah. Burning down the house is a good song.

Can we take your order?

Can we take your order? Wait, I recognize you two.

You two are Papa Roach. Yes. I'm Jack Papa.

And I'm Jack Papa. And I'm the Danny DeVito one.

Better ingredients, better pizza, Papa Roach. Have you not noticed that I'll always be the same one you say when we say we're a band?

I think we have time for Juan Khmer Hrito.

Okay. Hello, old man puzzles. My name is, uh, why not? They, they signed it. So their name is Alex McMillan. They're game designer, a quiz writer, and naturally a huge fan of Hey Riddle Riddle. Incredible. Thank you for listening. No, but we could probably figure it out. I've had this riddle written for a while. I'm sure if you'd find it suitable as it's based on a real event, but they say feel free to use it. So, returning to Belgium after a competition, the runner-up of one of the events began to feel ill and died shortly after making it home. It was discovered that he had ingested the poisonous substance carbofurin and aldocarb during a meal. After significant medical attention, it was deemed that he had ingested this after returning home and not during the event itself. The event coordinators claimed it was inconceivable to believe that this... Was the event coordinator Wallace Shawn? An inconceivable is in quotes to believe that this had occurred during the event. However, even if it were true, the perpetrator would receive less than a year's imprisonment. Why? What was the competition I missed with the, is it gaming competition? It just says returning to Belgium after a competition.

It was like a eating competition.

The runner up of one of the events began to feel ill and died shortly after making it home.

In the morning I'm making Belgian waffles.

It was like a hot dog eating pie eating contest.

It was not a hot dog eating or pie eating contest, but also if you kill someone at a pie eating contest, you should still probably get more than a year's imprisonment.

Please don't tell me that. That's terrible.

I have a pending trial.

I am fucking screwed.

It said the thing they ate that killed them, they ingested when they got home.

He had ingested the poisonous substances, carbofurin and aldocarb, during a meal. After significant medical attention, it was deemed that he had ingested this after returning home and not during the event itself. The event coordinators claimed it was inconceivable to believe this occurred during the event. However, even if it were true, the perpetrator would receive less than a year's imprisonment.

Was the competition the World Poison Championships?

Welcome to the world poison jar.

First prize. Is that in Belgium? Have you ever seen in Bruges?

Two Assassins? Great movie. That movie's amazing. Very fun movie. Colin Farrell, great actor. I think knowing the specific competition is really the decision maker here. So if the person only would have... Car race.

Would have gotten a year. Yeah, even if they did... Is it something where it's like, Is the food that they gave, so it's like maybe a baking competition, they're making some sort of food, or whatever it is. Cheese competition. Is it something where the food went bad over the course of time? So like, they made cheese, but it got too... I don't think so.

No, I don't think it has anything to do with food. It doesn't have anything to do with food. It clearly has something to do with food. Because they ate. Yes. But the event people said it was inconceivable.

Is the thing the person ate during a meal, was it something they weren't supposed to eat?

That was from the competition, but they must stick for food? I don't think so. The poisonous substance is carbofurin and aldocarb. I don't know what they are, but they are seemingly poisonous.

They are presumably poisonous.

That's my new t-shirt. Yeah, I could look them up, but I don't think it's important for the Riddle. But the Riddle here is why. So why, even if it were true, would the perpetrator receive less than a year's imprisonment?

I don't know.

Would it be unintentional? Is that the angle? Even if it was intentional, it would be less than a year. Okay.

Maritime law.

Yes, Belgium is under maritime law. You don't know. Married time law. For the hour after you get married, you can do anything.

It's like the purge. I googled carbofurin. I gargled carbofurin. Fucked. It just says it's a very poisonous substance.

For a minute, I was thinking that maybe it was something like the snacks on the plane home accidentally got put next to or inside some sort of fuel or content that poisoned it.

Because that stuff sounds like airplanes. Yeah, maybe. I think it's like a pesticide or something like that. Hmm.

Tell us.

Yeah, they're insecticides.

Huh.

So, do you guys want the answer? Yes. Or a hint. Okay, so the specific type of competition will give you pretty much, I mean, that's the clue here.

Hot air balloons, grass.

It's a competition in Belgium. Do you guys know any famous... Waffles? That's about it. Can I give you the name of the competition to see if you know it? Crufts? No. C-R-U-F-T-S? Crufts? Crufts. Oh, that's... Nope. It is a famous blank show. Shit show. Famously a shit show. Welcome to the Crust shit show. So many people die. Um, I, I think, uh, no, I actually want to see, let me Google it real quick because at time of recording, I think it, we might. Is Crust an anagram?

No, I don't think so. Killing roughly unbelievable. Really far.

It is a dog show. Yes. And so the competitor, the runner up who died, who fell ill and died was a dog. And I guess you don't get a lot of jail time for killing dogs. So that's the lesson that we all have to be left with.

I just got a dog.

Well, and if you kill it, you're not going to go to jail for a long time.

I should go to jail.

So thank you so much for listening to Hey Riddle Riddle. Remember, have your pets spayed and neutered, and if you don't, just have them killed. Pay a Belgium man to assassinate your dog with poison. That's my public service announcement. My dog's name is Bob Barker.

Adal, do you have anything that you would like to plug? Yes, I would. I was just recently, today even, I was a guest on the podcast Pretty Much Pop. They had me on to speak about escape rooms and riddles, so please check out Pretty Much Pop and my episode on escape rooms. I also want to give another plug to the Chicago Board Game Cafe, an amazing place to play board games, to do escape rooms by our own Sandy Weiss, and to have some fantastic food and drink. Erin, anything to plug?

Yes, follow me, Erin Keif 10, on Instagram. And check out my web series, Welcome Back, on YouTube. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Type, Welcome Back, Erin Keif, K-E-I-F, into YouTube, and you'll find it that way.

And if you also type, Welcome Back, Erin Keif, into YouTube, you'll find a heartwarming story of a dog named Erin Keif returning from war.

Yep, the dog went to war.

The dog went to war, and then they gave the dog cochlear implants when the dog came back.

The dog shot Franz Ferdinand.

And as always you can follow me on Twitter at jpsofly or on Instagram at sharkbarkmanerin. On Earth it is, you get minimal jail time for killing an animal, but there is a planet where things are a little bit more fair and that planet is... It's Jupiter and you're Jupiter.

There's Jupiter there. If you kill a dog, you could kill him.

There's Jupiter in the Jupiter. You kill a dog, you dick joke, dog.

Pretty Little Bye Forever.

Stacey Toni could be editing.

Mariah didn't want to swim in the ocean because the ocean is full of crab cum.