Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

Hey Riddle, Riddle is adding more live shows. That's right. We're going to be in Chicago on May 23rd at Shubas. We have two shows, 7 PM and 10 PM. If you want to get tickets, go to headgum.com slash live. While you're there, why not buy tickets to our LA show? We sell some of those for sale and then just fly out to LA and see us there as well. You can get those tickets headgum.com slash live. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, nothing. We're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane.

He stabbed him with the knife, and the horse was being riding.

Adal just promised he'd take me to Hawaii if I make it to 30. This is Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Erin.

I'm Adal Rifai. And I'm JPC. And I'm broke.

JPC, where would you take me if I make it to 30?

That wasn't what I said. To be fair, I didn't say if you make it to 30. There are some caveats that I laid down and I said, if you meet those caveats, I'll take you to Hawaii. But I did not say if you make it to 30, I trust you are healthy and happy and we'll survive.

Erin, if you make it to 30, and I'll go on the record saying this, I will take you to Red Lobster Inn. Honolulu Hawaii.

Live show in Hawaii.

November of 2021. Adal will get you there. I'll be on Skype. You can get there. I'll have a table for two.

We'll all go.

Fuck you. I want to go. It's for two. It's a table for two. I'm not going to be there. Yeah, it would be fun to do a live show in Hawaii. I'm sure we could see if we have any listeners in Hawaii. I don't think that we can't possibly.

Well, maybe we can ask some of our listeners to move there now.

Yeah, that's true. Start getting your life together. Start moving to Hawaii now. Let's all start getting our lives together and moving to Hawaii. I did a, I've been to Hawaii and I saw Cake perform in Hawaii and I really love that band. What a ruined vacation.

Were you wearing a short skirt and a long jacket?

That's very pedestrian. Were you flying for distance? I was cum cum Comanche-ing. Give me some deep cuts.

Going for speed. What's that one?

It doesn't matter. I really liked that band and I saw them in Hawaii and they were in a pretty small room and I was like, Oh, it's weird to see like cake and like a very small, cause I've seen them before in bigger venues. And then I was like, Oh no, it's just because this is Hawaii and like they're here because they get to come to Hawaii and do a show here.

Here's why I don't like cake. It sounds like, it sounds like beat poetry talked over guitar. It's here. Anyone can write a cake song here. Let me give an example. Okay. I'm going to give you a baseline. Hashtag anyone can write a cake song, please send us your own cake songs on Twitter. Got home last night, went into my closet, found my boots, snow boots with a little guy inside the boots. Took him out for breakfast.

That's exactly why I do love cake.

I don't like cake because it just feels like too big of a proportion. Like I'd rather have a cupcake or a brownie.

Good point. Good point. I don't like cake.

I want a cupcake or brownie. That's my cake side.

Have your cake and eat it too.

A savory dessert.

I think one of the reasons that I liked cake and continue to was I can't sing and, or I'm not.

Oh, you can't.

What the fuck is this? I'm not a strong singer and neither is the guy from Cake. He basically just does beat poetry to music and so it was very easy to sing along to Cake because not much singing required.

TPC can you do your cake song?

Sure. Adal, can you give them a little... I've got a car that drives electronically and the car functions with four tires. I touch the side and the sun beams glistening off the dashboard of my brand new car. If your car is traveling down the road, Don't worry. Thank you. That turned into French Snyder.

If your car is driving down the road, don't worry. That was amazing. You guys, this is a really fun game. This is our new sweetest show. There's bands I like that aren't... I love Mike Doty. From Soul Coughing? Oh yeah. But for whatever reason, Cake just doesn't do it for me.

And I like Soul Coughing as well. But boy, boy, I mean, yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's an adolescent thing, right? Like I was of a certain age when I got into Cake. I was like in junior high and high school. Short skirt and long jacket was obviously on a lot of mixtapes for me. And on your mind. Love You Madly is like one of my favorite songs of all time.

I love you madly, truly, deeply cherry chicka-co. Yes, Soundgarden, thank you. Mike Doty is a big Magic Tavern fan. Ernie and I went and saw him in Chicago and he put Chunt into one of his lyrics. It was very cool. I guess he knew we were there so he sang about Chunt. I was like... I don't want to run around in Chunt.

I was like college Adal is flipping out. Can I run something by you guys?

Yes.

Since I'm old man puzzles today I can sort of do whatever I want.

That's not how it goes.

I had a thought today about it's like a modern etiquette question.

Oh.

Because at first I thought oh I think this is my number one pet peeve.

Should I kiss my wife's mother and how much tongue should I use?

That's what I was going to say.

Wait, hold on.

Repeat that.

Should I kiss my wife's mother and use my tongue or should I go to the bathroom and wipe my buns?

That was my question.

I love this game.

That should just be there for them.

It happened to me two times today and I said, okay, this is my new number one pet peeve. And then I went, you know what? This might actually be in a gray area.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is an etiquette question that happened to you two times today.

Okay.

All right. Adal, can Adal and I take some guesses? Sure. And you said it's modern etiquette. Does this relate to text messaging?

It's not quite text messaging. Well, sort of.

It's adjacent. Is this someone bowing after Venmo-ing you?

It often happens when we're not in the same room together. How would I know?

Is this someone calling you, leaving a voicemail, and the voicemail just says, call me?

No, it is a calling etiquette.

It is a calling etiquette. This is when they answer the phone and they go, go for me.

No, that's amazing.

That person's a boss.

This is what it is. It's when someone calls you, you answer the phone, you go, hello? And they just launch into what they were, the reason why they called you without saying, Hey, can you talk right now?

Hey Riddle.

We saw you yesterday.

Yeah, you did.

I will say somehow Erin texted me and said, I just dropped my phone and it shattered into a million pieces. I'm so sad. Oh, she's holding up her phone and it shattered into a million pieces.

I'm so sorry for doubting you. Oh, well, may I say? The tips of my fingers are bloody. What happened? How did you drop your phone? Because I'm texting.

You were texting and dropped your phone to your fingers at Buddy? She's texting on a shattered phone and that's making her fingers bleed. Hold on. She's texting on a shattered phone. That's the new James Bond song. No Mr. Con, I expect you to text.

Hey, can you talk right now? Or like, hey, are you free? And then go, okay, these are the things I need to talk to you about rather than like, Hey, so I went to the grocery store and X, Y, and Z. And I realized it's because people just so assume that if you're busy at all, you're not going to answer the phone.

Right? That's very fair. Sorry, you're both in the wrong.

Right, like at first I was just like fuming about it and I was like why did we just stop doing that and I went oh I feel like it is sort of a social thing that we are like more understanding about people not entering the phone because we just assume that means they're busy. Yeah, why would you answer it?

To me it is weird to see the phone is ringing, see it's like your one of your parents or loved one or something. And then answer the phone and then be like, I can't talk right now. I understand the aspect of like, if anyone in my family calls me, something's wrong. Because they know I've made it very clear to text me unless there's an issue because I hate talking on the phone. Like even if Gemma and I order delivery or something, I'll be like, can you call? And she's like, I'm so busy. And I'm like, I will not call.

Hey Riddle.

Like if you answered and say hello, I'll say like, Hey, Erin and Saddle, uh, how's it going? Or I'll, I'll make the smallest bit of small talk to gauge you and give you an opportunity. And then I would go into my thing. So I might say like, Oh, Hey, I wanted to talk to you about, uh, Hey Riddle, do you have, you know, whatever that might be. I might say, do you have a moment?

Yeah, I guess I do. I feel like a lot of people do and I, maybe cause it's like a lot, it's usually people who are pretty comfortable with me, but it like, I do think, I mean, you hit the nail on the head, it's like my anxiety brain of assuming that something's wrong. When I realized it's just like a business-y thing, then I go like, oh shoot, I am like with a kid, like kids right now, or I'm like in a place where I can't like an Uber pool or something.

Can I show you a cool trick? Yeah. So you call me and I'll have answered accidentally or because I think there's an emergency and then I'll show you what to do.

Okay, awesome. Can you be the phone ringing, JPC?

Thank you so much. Cool, it's a Kate song. But no, Casey go ahead and put a phone in fact in here. I'm gonna take fucking ten minutes.

Hello? Hey, so I got the paperwork you sent over and I just wanted to... Is what I'd say if I was on the phone.

This is a voicemail. Please text me after the beep.

I can hear the background sounds at the mall. I know you're at the mall.

Of course I'm recording this voicemail message at the mall. That rules.

No, it's also like I do love talking on the phone and I prefer if something needs to be worked out to just call someone rather than doing it over text.

You are, and I mean this in the best possible way, you are kind of like a girl from an 80s or early 90s toy commercial.

Toy commercial.

The way you look, the way you dress, the way you act is like so specific.

You mean a child?

Hey Sally. What did I say? Hey Sally, want to come over? I got boy talk. He definitely didn't say grown woman from a toy commercial.

Okay, okay.

Eric Keif does not come with batteries.

Oh, am I, I'm a toy?

No, I didn't say that.

Okay.

I despise talking on the phone, too. Oh, I love it. I talked to my mom on the phone today, and I did say, hey, it's now a good time. That's the first thing that I want to know. Are you in a space where you can talk on the phone? Because usually, I will say this, I never answer my phone. If you call me 99% of the time, I will let it go to voicemail and wait for you to text me with what you wanted. Because unless we have predetermined a time that we will be talking on the phone, premeditated, then I'm either doing something else and I don't know how long this phone call was. I was telling you guys, my dad texted me a couple days ago and was like, my dad is an audiophile. He loves fucking pints.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

He's just got a tail. He loves buying old speakers. He's always fiddling with knob life from like 50 years ago, like audio equipment from like 50 years ago, restoring it and then just keeping it. He's like a hoarder. And your dad is Phil Spector. No, but yeah, my dad's a bond villain. Fucking idiot. Yeah, not the Beatles audio engineer, the guy who wrote the movie, Spectre. But he texted me and he was like, hey, this guy's got some speakers. He's like 15 minutes from your house in Chicago. Can you go buy them and pick them up and I'll get them from you later? And you know, my dad never fucking asked me for anything. Hey Riddle Riddle. I almost was like, fuck you Dan. There's no way in hell I'm doing that.

And just in case we have any new listeners, this is EddyCake. We talk about EddyCake. We talk about etiquette and cake.

Well now I'm going to have to come up with a name for an episode. Marting EddyCake.

Marting EddyCake. Erin, you're old.

Old man puzzles. I want everyone to know who's listening, who I talk on the phone with frequently. I do love talking on the phone.

So give out your number and then for listeners, make sure you text Erin.

My number is one.

That's what I used to do. I used to do that when I was in high school, when people were drunk at parties, they'd ask me like, oh, what's your number? And I just write, I'm number one on a piece of paper.

Incredible.

Yeah, I was a legend.

But yeah, like, Sean, when I'm free, will call me in the middle of the day and sometimes we'll talk on the phone for like an hour and a half, just in the middle of the day.

That sucks, I'm truly sorry for both of you.

Whatever.

I have nothing else to say, but that's one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life.

We live together, too.

Yeah, when you get home, there's nothing to talk about.

No, Sean said recently that there's been zero silence since he met me. I just, I get around him and I'm like, yo, these are the things that I saw today. I saw a tree. I saw a boat.

And you were mad when I called you a girl from an early night.

No, not at all. You were right. I do not stop talking around him. I don't know what's wrong with me. And you two either. I just don't shut up. I'm old man puzzles.

We're supposed to be talking because we're literally doing a talking podcast.

I wish it was dance. I send the JPC and Adal an email every week begging them to make this a dance podcast. All right, I'm Old Man Puzzle. Sorry that it took a long time to get into it, but we're doing Only Connect Riddles today that our listeners submitted because JPC, a few weeks ago, was like, hey, Erin, check out our inbox. You're getting a lot of Only Connect emails.

There's a bunch of them here.

There's a bunch of them in there.

There's a bunch of them.

So, this one is from, she told me how to say her name.

And just for anyone who hasn't listened to previous ones, Only Connect is you give us three clues, we have to find out what they all three have in common?

Usually four.

Four things, okay.

Four things, yeah. It's like four mini questions, and then you answer the four questions, and then you figure out what those four things have in common.

Do we need a piece of paper and a pen?

Um, yeah, we can also do it like one at a time. Let's do it one at a time. And maybe if we get a little frisky, well, you don't have to work together. You can work apart. Maybe we'll have a little competition. Ooh la la.

I'm actually frisky as fucking dirt right now. So I'm ready to get frisky. Dirt famously not frisky.

So this woman's name, and she gave me permission to use her first name, is Brianna, like Piranha. So it's not Brianna, but it's Brianna like Piranha?

Brianna. This is Brianna.

I know, but I was like Brianna and Piranha don't exactly rhyme to me.

Brianna and Piranha? Oh, okay. Yeah.

Do they rhyme?

No, not really. I mean, yeah, close enough.

Okay.

If John Legend can do it.

If Rihanna can do it, Brianna can do it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay, she says, hey guys, it seems like only connect questions where you find the connection between four clues or some of your favorites. I also know you guys like a bit of innuendo. So here's some sexy, only connect. And I put the answers in white because I remember you guys saying that you like that.

God, this person fucking knows us.

Piranha. We love you. Brianna like Piranha.

She means like putting the answers in an invisible ink so we can't see the answers.

Do you want to work together or alone?

Let's do some together and some alone.

Okay, ready? Film starring Robin Williams as a man-sized kid.

That is going to be kid. That's Jack. Is that Jack? Yeah. Okay. I like Robin Williams with the long Jack.

So these are the ones we're doing together. So that's Jack. These are all going to be nursery rhyme characters.

Oh, I have a guess, but I think I might be right. Wait, write it down and so we can see if you were right. Caribbean style of chicken.

Yup. That's jerk.

Seasoning applied to meat before cooking.

Uh, barbecue?

In order to get the answer, you have to get them all right.

Seasoning applied to meat before cooking?

Salt? It's not the seasoning. Well, it's sort of the seasoning, but it's more of like what you do to the meat.

Tender. Tender eyes. Flavor.

No. Barbecue.

It's salt.

We'll have to come back to start a car.

Ignite or turn key? To start a car rev? No. Your ignition? How do you start a car? I just press the button. And you famously ride an elevator tour?

To start a car. To start a car.

Is this a cake sock?

Yeah. To start a car would be to turn turn.

So we also need seasoning applied to meat before cooking.

And it's not like a specific seasoning. It's not like salt or... No.

Eye. There's the... What?

What did you say?

That was a hint. Here's another one. Here's another hint. Ooh, I need a back.

Massage. Rub. Rub. Oh yeah.

To start a car.

Rub is to... Crank.

Crank?

Oh yeah. Crank a car. Jack, jerk, rub, crank. These are all things you do on a first date.

So I wrote after we did... Someone built their whole personality based on something about Barry. Saw that in a pretty pivotal age. I wrote down here on my little piece of paper after Jack that the thing that we were guessing was going to be jerking off.

Yeah, these are all euphemisms for masturbation. Top of mind, JPC.

Come in you window, I'll be home soon.

Do you want to write something on the top of my mind? This is a something about Mary. Remember when he gets that stuff on the top of his mind and she puts it in her hair?

No, yeah. That's the most memorable part of the movie. Of course we remember that.

Do you remember any other details of that movie? Sure. Chris Elliott.

The guy getting the Frank above the beans or the beans above the Frank. That's right. What else? The song, the guy in the tree. I don't remember any of these things, by the way. Cameron Diaz being in the mask.

Do you want to sing a cake song about it?

Yeah. This is Adal's cake song about something about Mary. Erin, you do the bass.

Is this a slow jam of cake? You want me to go faster?

Ben Stiller is home trying to date Cameron Diaz. The AS text built a monument to Matt Dillon. Dillinger, a large The penis was shot to death behind the biograph theater. This sucks.

We did it. No, it was great. That was good.

I did not feel set up for success with the pace of your... JBC, can you do it?

To that pace?

I don't know much about something about me.

I'll try again.

Okay. All right.

Is this a cake song or a rap?

Yeah, that's a Matthew McConaughey graduation speech.

All right, you do the same thing I was just doing and I'll do a cake song.

This is classic cake. He does a lot of that in his setups to his song. You guys were not giving me a space to be caked.

I'm singing a cake song. Fuck you, Adal. It can be done.

Being aggressive towards me is not nailing the song. Let's be clear. We'll ask the audience. Wait, let me try. Fuck you. You didn't win. I won.

Erin did get a lot closer to being about something about Mary. That's fair.

But what do we say?

For people to send in their cake songs, we said, make your own cake song. Here we go. Let's go to the next Connect 4. Yeah, hashtag bake your own cake.

That's great. Make a little Twitter video and we'll watch all of them. Ready? First name of a flying immortal boy.

That would be Cupid. Oh, Icarus?

Cupid can get killed. Oh, Cupid can die.

And Icarus can get it. We're on the same page.

Cupid can get it.

Flying Immortal Boy? We're on the same page and it's both inches mythology. Immortal Flying Boy. That would either be... Harry Potter. Harry Potter. That would be... It's not Icarus because Icarus died. Cupid can be killed and can fucking get it. Who's an Immortal Boy? Immortal Boy. What was the first part?

Is this first name of a flying, immortal boy?

Is this from mythology? No. Mythology is typically one name, so this would be the first name. But this is not from mythology. Doesn't sound like it.

Is this a superhero? It is? No.

Oh.

This is a... I wouldn't call him a superhero.

Flying, immortal boy.

Baby Jesus?

Oh, Peter. Peter Pan. Nice. Peter Pan is immortal? Well, for now. If he's immortal, why even fight Captain Hook?

Yeah, why does it matter?

Just let Captain Hook feel great and then just heal yourself and move on. What if Peter Pan had Wolverine's powers? Oh my gosh! I think I just wrote the great next movie.

The great next movie!

Not the next great movie. The great next movie.

There's only one movie to come out next and it's going to be Adal's great next movie.

I just wrote the next American novel. Not the great American novel. The next American novel.

Does it hurt Peter? Every time. Adal, did you just write down Peter Pan Wolverine? Adal just typed something into his computer. That is amazing. All right, Adal. You're Peter Pan Wolverine. I'm Wendy. JBC, you're the two little brothers. Gotcha. And you've come through the window and you want to take us off to Neverland.

I want to go to bed. I want to go to bed.

Mummy and daddy will be back soon, but for now we have to sleep.

Olog chocolate.

Hey, I'm back.

Shake!

Go to shake? Sorry, go to sleep.

That boy's at our window again. Windy, please get him away. I don't like him.

Olog chocolate.

Wait, Tinkerbell's in two pieces on the ground.

Yes, sliced her in half.

Peter, what did you do?

Sliced her in half. I thought she would save her tooth.

By accident?

I don't know.

That's a lot of blood for such a small creature.

Did I tell you kids I'm like 800 years old?

You look like a boy though.

You know my green outfit? You know with a hat and a feather and everything? It's all adamantium. Did I tell you that?

Is that facial hair on purpose or can you control? Like you could shave. You look like a boy with a beard.

I can shave but it'll heal. Come here, take this knife, stab me.

Oh, please don't make that.

Not in the eyes.

You sort of look like a boy in a high school play, like a high school fiddler on the roof. You sort of look like a boy. You look like a boy, but you got facial hair like a man.

There he is. Cyclop. Peter. What? Who? I get Jean Grey. Dibs. Oh, that's Captain Hook. Yes, it's me, Captain Hook. Oh, sorry, with one eye. Sorry, I just saw one eye.

And it's me. Is that the little pirate next to him?

Yes, this is Smee. He's my little pirate next to me. That's his official position.

That's not Smee. That's Jubilee.

I wear stripes.

What happened to you, Peter Pan? What happened to you? I don't know. I was put into a program X in Canada. Why wouldn't you say that I'm Stryker?

Peter, you used to not want to ever grow up.

That's a more one-to-one comparison. Let's make a movie just called Peter. It's like me and it's real dark. It's real gritty. It's like unforgiven with Clint Eastwood.

I don't think there's an audience for that, Peter.

Really?

Let's fly together. Let's think of a wonderful thought. What's your wonderful thought, Peter?

Uh, dying? I can make that happen for you, Peter.

Come at me.

All right. The first one was Peter.

I got to see some fan art of that Wolverine Peter fan.

No, and then burn it. And then don't show us and burn it. That'll have an evil energy.

Sorry. The correct hashtag is Ben Vereen.

What did we ask for? That was a nightmare one time. We had like a half human, half horse or something that was split down the middle.

We did a centaur that was split down the middle and that was a nightmare.

Peter Pan is a fuck boy and you can quote me on that.

What?

Peter Pan fucking sucks, dude.

Oh, that's okay. I'm sorry. I did the wrong definition of fuck boy in my mind real quick. I thought it was a good boy who can fuck.

Oh, no. He doesn't, he doesn't fuck. He's a fuck boy.

Yeah. I thought it was Peter Pan fucks. Harry Potter, the boy who fucked and lived.

That's Harry Potter in his repressed Christian school. The boy who fucked and lived. We've done one Riddle in 25 minutes.

Sorry, I'm trying. Country singer Nelson.

Willie. These are all nicknames for penises.

Wait! President after Kennedy.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh TTFN. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N. T-T-F-N.

T-T-

Knockers. Knockers.

That's my least favorite word for boob. Do you know that about me?

Excuse me, Madam. Could I see your knockers? Why is knockers your least favorite word for boob?

It's just fucking terrible. I've never heard a decent guy called boob, knockers. Knock, knock, knockers on Erin's chair.

What era is knockers from? Knockers is like a seventies maybe? Is it seventies? No wait, bazingas are seventies.

Well, thank you to her.

Zingas are sixties, but zingas are seventies, knockers are eighties. This is a Dr. Seuss book. Sweater puppies are nineties. Um, here we go. So yeah, we got that one. How many more, how many more are there? Well, none because Erin just thinks that girl.

Uh, so, um, we're done with those from her, but we have more from other people, but I think we're going to take a really quick break because it's funny that we only did one email before the break and then we'll be back.

A little cake break. Boom. We'll be right back with some more riddles.

And we're back.

Boom.

So back to some only connect style puzzles.

Back to connect.

I love these. So I hope that a couple of you out there are having fun too. These next ones are from Alan. Um, let's see.

This is Tim Allen.

You can use my last name. You can pronounce it. A-S-U-N. No, I can't.

A-S-U-N-C-I-O-N.

Ashanti. Well Alan, hello. He says, hey Keif. I love it. That's so cute. Love the show. But I also love Victoria Corrin Mitchell, who's on Only Connect. So I made y'all some Only Connect stuff. I also made a missing vowels round, which I might save for another week. So these, you don't have to... Get them right? They're not questions, so you're just making the connection.

Gotcha. Yes, but would it also be okay if I didn't get them right? Would that be fine as well?

Well, you wouldn't get to have a treat after supper.

Can we keep working together like this? I think we get through more when we work together.

You love JPC. You guys, Adal loves JPC.

I don't.

Are you ready? Let's skip to it.

Here we go.

High school. Prom. Funeral home. Truck stop.

All places I lost my virginity.

I can only have it once my man.

And I can only have it another truck stop. High school, funeral home, truck stop, prom. So high school and prom go together real well. Funeral home, truck stop, not so much. These are all things that have a dead stop. These are all funeral home.

It's not A Riddle Riddle related.

Truck stop prom. These are all places that donate convertibles for the town parade. Say it again. Say the list again. High school.

High school prom. Funeral home truck stop.

These are great, by the way. These are all places of higher education. Funeral home truck stop.

I send my kid down to the funeral home. That's where he learned some lessons.

These are all places where you would find a body. I do want to see a scene. I do want to see a scene. Erin and JPC, you are on a first date. Erin, you have decided to take JPC character to the funeral home for the first date because that's your family runs it.

Hey Claire, I wanted to say thank you for letting me plan this first date. I just have had a crush on you for a really long time and it means a lot that you let me take you out and plan this right this way.

You planned this?

Yeah, actually my family, I don't want to brag, but my family kind of owns this place.

Yeah, I know because of your smell. What? Formaldehyde.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I just thought like, I don't know, you'd want to go like, there's, there's just like a lot to do here. And I thought maybe you'd really enjoy it. Like we can lay in the coffins and we can go down. And I propped up a lot of the bodies we have. So we can like do a little play in front of them or have like a tea party with them.

Can we just fucking your car?

No, I want to move slow.

You meant hearse. Can we fucking your hearse? I didn't know what it was called.

Oh, now you're on the right track.

My friend in high school, Katie Rux, her family ran the town funeral home. Her family ran the town. Whenever we went to her house, the first few times we went to the house, her parents made it clear. They're like, when you go in the elevator, never hit B, because that's the basement lab with the Bodies or anything? But it's just very funny of getting into an elevator and knowing that if you hit the wrong button.

Well now I know I'm going to have a nightmare where I hit B in my mind in your car, the elevator.

She said she used to stink down there and watch her dad work when she was a kid and would be like, or stink down there in the middle of the night or something. And it's like you hear air escaping and all that stuff that you hear about.

It sounds terrifying. OK, Halloween episode.

At some point I think you're just numb to it.

Yeah.

So these are all bus, hearse, pickup truck. Pick up girls.

Well, it's not necessarily a hearse. It's not a hearse. It is like a hearse.

It is what?

You were doing the perfect thing.

Oh, then I got it right. But what do those all have in common? Hearse bus, pickup truck, limo. They're all things that carry little shits. So a bus drives students. Funeral home drives dead bodies. Prom limo drives me crazy.

It's not real. Think literally. Like what do all those vehicles have in common?

They're all bodies. A truck stop. What is a truck stop? Picture them in your head. So a semi truck, they're all 18 wheelers. They all involve long vehicles.

They're all long vehicles.

Oh my god. Not a huge fan of that. I love it. Unlike Robert De Niro in the movie with Wesley Snipes, not a huge fan.

I don't know if I'm going to pronounce one of these things right. Here's your next list. Bob Cratchit, Captain Abraham Smollett, Scarecrow, stage manager of the Muppet Show.

You meant to say Julian Smollett. These are all side characters. These are all villains.

These are all ghosts.

They all have a crutch. Wait, what was the... These are all poor people. These are all people that can't take care of their families. These are all people who got the biggest goose on Thanksgiving Day.

Captain Abraham Smollett, Scarecrow, stage manager of the Muppet Show.

What's stage manager? Stage manager is a guy with glasses, right? His name's like Mickey. His name's like Derek. What's his name?

Which Scarecrow are we talking about? Batman Scarecrow or Dorothy Scarecrow?

If I tell you what Scarecrow, I'll give it away. And if I tell you what Bob Cratchit, I'll give it away.

Bob Cratchit. So all the same actor that played this?

You could say that.

You could say that. Wait, give me the list again. Who's the first one?

Bob Cratchit. Captain Abraham Smollett. I don't know if I'm saying that last name. Scarecrow.

Can I ask a question? Yes or no. Is Captain Abraham Smollett from Muppet's Treasure Island?

Perhaps.

So these are all the same Muppet that played these characters.

Yes.

And I forget the guy's name. Stan Plur.

Forget the guy's name.

Don's a Kermit, is it?

It is.

Wow.

So the answer is Kermit the Frog.

I was thinking for Muppet Show, there's some little thing, some little guy with glasses who did the stage managing.

There are all roles that Kermit the Frog has played in the Muppet's Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island, the Muppet's Wizard of Oz, which I totally forgot about.

I didn't know that was a thing.

And the Muppet Show, yeah.

I would watch this shit out of that. Is Miss Piggy Dorothy?

Or is it like a live action Dorothy? I'm looking it up.

I have to imagine it's like Cher or something. I saw somebody who played me a clip the other day, my friend Anne.

Yeah, I think it's a human woman.

She played me a clip and it's a video of Cher and it's just camera on Cher and she goes like, now I present to you, this is a production of West Side Story. I will be playing all the parts. And then it cuts into, it's like overlapped where it's like when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way and then another Cher comes out and another Cher and they're all dressed like Van and Grease. It's amazing. Please watch that video. I don't want to.

Ashanti is Dorothy.

Queen Latifah is on M. I joked about Ashanti. Good. It's good to joke about her.

Quinterantino as himself.

Does he play the Wizard of Oz?

Weird.

Is he just looking at feet behind that curtain?

Yeah, I was going to say, I just was about to say, Dorothy, put your feet under the curtain.

I know I've seen this.

I've never seen any Muppet things.

That's my favorite. And then Miss Piggy's Glinda.

I thought that was your favorite. Erin, your favorite Muppets take Manhattan, right? Which I've never seen.

Yeah. No, no, no. The Great Muppet Caper. The Great Muppet Caper is my all-time favorite. I also love Christmas Carol and Muppets from Space.

I love Muppets from Space. And that's where the Muppets go in the Challenger.

But I would say the Great Muppet Keeper is one of my top five favorite movies of all time. And one of the best potato toppings.

I want to see an audition. Erin, you are such a big Muppet fan. You've seen all the movies and they are doing a Muppets do... Vaudeville. The Shining? Muppets do Vaudeville. And Erin, they're doing a casting, they're scouting in Chicago and you show up as a new Muppet, whatever that might be, and here's your audition. Um, whenever you're ready, go ahead. What was your name again?

My name's Erin. I know that you're looking for a human woman to be in this movie. Um, okay. But, um, I, uh, I thought maybe I was sorry.

Could you back up a little bit? Uh, you're a little close to me. My name is Kermit the Frog. Of course, the stands for Timothy Halifant Edward.

I'm just a little starstruck and I'm of course Gonzo. And this is how I talk when I'm not at work.

He's an alien. Okay, so I sort of prepared a new Muppet. This Muppet is called Melted Miss Piggy, and I would love to have the opportunity to show it to you. Go big or go home, right?

Um, okay. Yeah, those are the two options. Well, we're Muppets, so go small, or stay watch, as our expression, maybe we're really Melted Miss Piggy.

Here we go.

Was that it?

No, I'm just getting into it. Okay. Um, let's see. Um, um, oh, oh, I'm breaking now. Oh God, I'm melting. I'm in the fire. Oh, hey. Oh, Kermee. Oh, Kermee. Help me. Help me. I'm melting. Kermee. Oh my God. Oh, uh, oh, Miss Piggy.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. Help me cur me I'm melting is a direct line of dialogue from Muppets Goin' the Challenger.

Dondo? I loved it. I have no notes.

Well, Gonzo does run the show. I'm just the stage manager.

Yeah, don't ever fucking forget it. You know who's in charge, Gonzo. Yeah, that's right. You don't know how tough my life is. I have to crawl these Muppets, Cookie Muppets.

Waka, waka, waka. Do you want to come to my trailer? Waka.

I'll walk you over there. Fuzzy, no. Of course it's the stand-up comedian.

This is Fuzzy Weinstein.

There's the fucking creep.

Fuck this. Seed. Okay. Of course, it's the standard.

Wanka Wanka.

So we've got two of this.

Okay, so this is a different type of format. I want to know what comes forth in the following sequence.

And I'm so sorry, is this the same person? Yep. Okay, same person. Wait, those weren't only connects that we were doing?

Yeah, the there's only connect has four different rounds and there's all different kinds. I want to know what comes forth in the following sequence. You only get three clues, but maybe you won't get any.

And wait, maybe we won't get any.

Maybe you won't need any clues.

Got it. Ready.

Hey Riddle Riddle. Hey Riddle Riddle 2. Hey Riddle Riddler. Hey Riddle Riddle with a vengeance.

So these are all diehard movies. Yeah. And the last one was Die Hard or Die Home?

Okay, you either gotta die really hard, or you're gonna go home and you gotta die there.

Die Hard or Die Home.

It's so hard to say.

Would it be Get Hey or Die Riddling? So the last one was Die Hardest. Die... Live for your Die Hard. That was the last one. So it'd be Live Riddle, Hey Riddle, Hey Riddle Riddle, live free or die riddle.

I know you guys can't see Adal and GPC, but they're both falling downstairs at the same time.

Our noses are bleeding.

It's just word associating as they fall down the stairs.

So live free or die home. I'm just splitting into a bunch of sticks and falling into a pile.

Live free or hey riddle riddle.

Perfect. Okay.

Oh, this one is too similar to one.

Hey Riddle, Tokyo Drift. Yeah. Too hey, too riddle. Tokyo Keif. Ready? Yes.

Austria, Madagascar, Italy.

These are all places the Von Trapp family hid.

You also need to get the fourth in the sequence, but no.

Austria, Madagascar, Italy. So Austria is known for Salzburg. Madagascar is known for animal life, naked and afraid. Italy is known for Rome. These are all things cell phones do.

No, you always forget that when you're watching Sound of Music, you sit down, you watch it, and you go, oh yeah, this is about Nazis. Because all I think about when I think about it is them doing that, high on the hill, there was a lonely go-to, lay-o, lay-o, lay-dee-hoo.

These are all places that Mario Batali has taken his shit.

I took a sound and music tour in Austria and they take you to like the gazebo and all these places and then the final stop is the mountain range that they run over and the guy's like, this is the mountain range the von Trapp family runs over. In the movie they say it's Switzerland but these mountains go directly into Germany. So in reality they are running straight into the arms of the Nazis. And the entire bus is like, what the fuck? It was amazing. So, Erin, can I ask, does this have something to do with the first letter of each of these? Nope.

It's not a word thing, but that's always a good guess.

Austria, Madagascar, Italy. So, mad at gas car is a pun.

It's not a word based thing. It's actually the country. We're talking about these countries.

So, is it something the country's known for? Is it bodily of water specific? Bodily of water? Bodily of water. Your body is a water. Your body is a water park. Because you're wet.

Dude, this is...

Is this a hard one?

This is really, really, really hard.

Do I have to have a knowledge of geography? Is this like a triangulation thing?

Do we have to know capitals or iconic landmarks?

No, you do maybe thinking about the accent from these countries and then thinking about where you've heard these accents.

So Austrian accent is going to be Hans and Franz or Jean-Claude Van Damme. Is Hans and Franz from Austria? I think they are. We want to pump you up. Madagascar.

What are some other famous Austrians?

Austria. Duke Ferdinand.

Maybe like characters not real people.

The Austrian, famous Austrian characters.

This one is, again, not as iconic as some of the, the one that you're missing is the most iconic.

Is it a Mike Myers character? Are they cartoon?

Is it a cartoon? No, but you're totally on the right track.

Is it an SNL alum?

No, it's not an SNL alum.

It's a comedian. So Austrian. Oh, Arnold Schwarzenegger. So think of an Austrian accent.

So they had a character that had an Austrian accent. They had a Madagascar accent, which is that one's, the two middle ones are hard.

These are all problematic Jeff Dunham puppets.

No, Madagascar, Italy.

Famous comedians who just took a fucking paycheck and did an animated feature.

Who does a Madagascar accent? I can't even think what that means.

Is it from the movie Madagascar? You just hissed like a cockroach? Yeah.

So that one is an animated one, but the rest are not.

These are all Ray Romano paychecks.

No, so it's the same actor doing different characters in each of these.

Is it Chris Rock? No. So David Schwimmer.

Who's done an Austrian one? I will say that their most famous character is from the country that you haven't said yet.

So who's doing a ton of, like, accents? Well, who is in Madagascar? So let's go over. It's an SNL alum, you said? No, no, it's not. I'm sorry, you said.

I would say this person is... I like the... Ray Liotta. They maybe choose to do stuff that is not my favorite kind of thing, but when I've seen them in things that aren't necessarily... John Leguizamo. produced by them. I've been pretty blown away by their singing talent and their talent in general.

Hugh Jackman. But they're known as a producer?

No, they are known for writing and performing in their own work. Oh, Spalding Grey. But they also do a lot of things like the Madagascar and Italy one are not the ones that... Give me a hint.

Give me a hint.

What's the tiniest hint? Really, maybe sort of makes people uncomfortable. Has no shame seemingly. Like can go up to anyone and say anything as any character.

I haven't had a laugh. Oh, I know, I know it. Here we go.

All right, what's the fourth country then? I know it.

Hold on. It would be, I think it would just be British.

No.

It would be England, right?

No, the fourth country's not.

No, I'm sorry, it would be Kazakhstan. Yeah.

Is it Kazakhstan or Kazakhstan? I think it's Kazakhstan. He was in Madagascar?

But I think allergies is the most famous, which would just be English. Kazakhstan.

Well, I figured that Borat is a little bit more famous.

I think it is. I think there's been more allergy done, I think Borat's the more quoted.

It was so hard to not say my wife.

Austria was the movie he did that was like the designer called Bruno. Bruno, that's right.

And then he was in Madagascar, and then Italy is a little tricky because... Did he do that movie, Lee is a spy? No, it's him and Sweeney Todd, where he plays Pirelli, who is the Italian barber.

He was in Wayne Mays and Sweeney Todd. Yeah.

I thought he was amazing and lame as the end screen. He was the bad guy until the good nights.

That's right. I saw his new... He's so good in that too. There's a new Netflix series that Tim is like an Israeli spy. I watched like three episodes of and at first it was a weird journey of like, this is great. And then like 10 minutes later, I was like, this is pretty cool. And then like 10 minutes later, I was like, this is bad. Well, you realized what Israeli spies do to your people and you were like,

No, no, no. I don't like, don't like. No, no, no, no, no. Fuck, that was hard.

Canonically sniped my grandpa in the head. That's fact.

I know. I had no idea he was in fucking Madagascar. I guess I just have not been following Sacha Baron Cohen's career with any sort of- But you have been.

You got a tattoo of Isla Fisher. I do. I love the Isla. These are great. Can we keep going?

Yes. I want to thank Alan and I'm going to, he wrote like a lot more and so I'm going to go back to them later. But thank you so much Alan.

Thank you. Alan, something special coming your way from the universe, not from us. So just be on the lookout for good things in your life.

Alan, if you write some more and send us, which we hope you do, I hope they have more power.

One second, you guys.

There we go. There we go. Time stamp. All right, ready? Yeah. Ready? Ready? Yes.

The capital of Peru.

Lima. These are all beans. Boca tat Colombia. These are all types of beans.

Famous Shakespearean character who commits suicide. Oh, Thallelujah. Yeah.

That works. A homophone for what you're speaking into now. How much 2.2 pounds would weigh to a Brit? Can I just say I'm not a homophone? No.

No.

How much? 21 grams.

Not grams. 2.2 pounds would weigh to a Brit.

A stone. 21 kilos.

One. Stone. One.

Kilo.

One. So it's Lema, Juliet, Mike, and Kilo.

These are all, are these all? Phonetic alphabet. This is like the army. Yeah, it's a phonetic alphabet. Echo Bravo. Phonetic alphabet. The phonetic alphabet.

And JBC got it. Are we ready? Yes. Very intelligent water-dwelling mammals.

Shark. Dolphins.

Yes. A Destiny's child would say, can you pay my autumn-o?

Bills. Dolphin. Bills. These are all NFL teams.

Wait, you gotta wait. A bill signed into law by George Bush after 9-11. Bears.

Patriot Act.

The Bear Act. Let's get more bears in schools. What the blue angels fly.

Ooh, that would be the Texan... Airplanes. That would be the New York Giants.

Jets. It's technically NFL teams, but more specifically...

Eastern Division EFC. Oh my gosh, I didn't even read who these were from. Oh, no.

I'm so sorry. Let me read who they're. These are from Kathleen.

I'm so sorry.

Hi, Kathleen.

Your sister?

These are from you. No, different Kathleen. What? Or no, her name's Katie.

So hi to your sister, Kathleen, and then also hi to this Katie person.

No, well Katie is... I'm sorry, I read... Her name is Katie. Hi, Katie. Hi, Katie.

I think we missed one.

She goes by Katie. I want to read her. I made some riddles in the style of Only Connect. It's my first time making riddles, so I hope they work okay. I've attached a Word document. Oh, and then she told me not to read anything else. Then she just says really, really sweet things. Thank you so much, Katie. We appreciate your support. And specifically, thank you for writing Riddles meant to make me happy. That means so much. All right. Katie said, I'll accept just NFL teams if someone says Go Bills. Do you guys want to say Go Bills?

God, no.

I'm not going to go on the record of saying that.

And I'm sorry, I think we missed one, Erin. So we have Dolphins, Bills, Jets. There was one that was like an act sign in. What was it? Patriot?

Patriot.

We got that. OK.

Yeah. Thomas Middleditch's HBO character.

He's on Silicon Valley, open marriage. His Silicon Valley is Eric? No.

No, that's the other guy. His is... No, no, no. It's like something spazzy. Richard.

A celebrity president.

Chevy Chase, that would be Ronald Reagan.

Ronald? I'm going to keep going. The full first name of Batman's sidekick.

Robyn Alfred. Robyn LaRue.

Cartoon alcoholic genius that travels through space with his grandson.

Rick. Pickle Rick. Richard Robin Rick. These are all first names with R. What was the second one, the clue for the second one that we didn't get?

A celebrity president.

That would be Ronald Reagan.

Is it a full first name of Batman's sidekick? It's not Ronald Reagan.

Is it Donald?

No, it's like a famous president. I wouldn't say like a celebrity president.

Famous president is literally the most redundant term I've ever fucking heard in my life.

Famous presidents?

What? But here's the thing, the fact that you know the name Calvin Coolidge? And he was president in like 1494?

No, this is a, like, like of... Fuck. Fuck. This is the kind of president, like if you're naming presidents rapid fire, this is probably one... Is this a US president? Yes, it's probably one you mentioned in your top 10. Obama, Bill Clinton. Because it's like one that we talked a lot about.

Washington, Lincoln, Taft. This is not like a TV show president?

Well, think of the other clues.

Well so far they're all our words. So Ronald Reagan was a famous actor who has an R first name. Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. Yeah. Obama? Richard Nixon, famous president? Yeah.

So famous. Are you kidding?

I'm going to get a tattoo of my displeasure with this. He's one of the only presidents who's been impeached.

He's the only president who's ever resigned.

Bill Clinton much?

Dick, Dick, Robin, Rick. What is this?

Dick, Dick, Robin, Rick? I'm not saying, I didn't confirm that you got some of these right.

Oh, okay. Go back again.

Thomas Middleditch. Richard. Yep. Mm-hmm. A celebrity president. Richard, Richard. The first name of Batman, Sidekick.

Also Richard. Yeah. So these are all Richard. And Rick is the nickname for Rick Richard.

My four dicks.

My four dicks. All right, Adal. Nope. I want to see a scene. This is going to be a scene from the set of the very popular sitcom, My Four Dicks. And the theme song for My Four Dicks, as we all know, I will be doing, is done by the band, Cake.

No way.

I need a baseline for dicks living under one roof. Will they get to the center of truth? Will they learn about each other enough that they can make sense of the dick name stuff? My four dicks are filmed for not doing that.

Knock, knock, knock.

Oh no. It's dick.

Hold on. Audience, shut up. Shut up. We tried to go with single cam because we thought we'd be like the office, but we went back old school, like live studio audience, and you're ruining it. It's good enough.

The warm up comic really warmed us up, and now we want to laugh.

I am the guest star. I am a famous president. Say my name. You know me, I'm a famous president.

Teddy, no. Teddy Franklin.

You think Teddy Roosevelt's a famous president?

Yeah.

Think again. Are you the peanut guy? Excuse me, Jimmy Carter? You think Jimmy Carter's a famous president? I thought Mr. Peanut was president. You're talking about Baby Nut?

He looks like Teddy Roosevelt.

Not Franklin Roosevelt, not Teddy, not Jimmy Carter. Give us a hint, how tall are you?

I'm a famous president.

How tall are you? Six footish.

Okay, um, are you? Coolidge? John Quincy Adams?

Calvin Coolidge.

Andrew Jackson.

Oh, come on guys, famous. I love Coolidge. Fourteen, sixteen.

Next one. Last name of American president that fired Hamilton and previously called him a Creole bastard.

Aaron Freer, sir. Thomas Jefferson. No. No? Tom Jefferson's going home.

Oh, who fired him?

Adams. Adam Zoumata's a hatter.

The college Tom Brady attended.

He went to University of Michigan. Did he?

Go blue.

Is it Michigan or University of Michigan?

I think it was like a pack-up quarterback. City that hosts Summerfest.

Summerfest is Milwaukee. Wow.

Good job, Adal. I know my Midwest. Famous, but controversial, 24-year-old YouTuber, Blank Paul.

PewDiePie, Aaron Paul. No. Les Paul, Rand Paul.

No. I'm proud of you both for not knowing this. Jake Paul, Jake Paul. No, there's a different, his brother.

Peter Paul and Mary. Is it not Erin Paul? Nick Paul.

I think Jake Paul is this guy's brother.

I don't forget what... Smash that subscribe button, bitch! Wait, is this the guy who went to the ghost forest and... Yeah, this guy sucks.

Those two guys suck more than any other. And that's not Jake Paul? No, it's a different... it's his brother.

I thought that was Jake Paul. Here's the honest truth. All those people that we just threw out there, I combined into just Jake Paul. I thought that was all one guy. And you're telling me this is like three different YouTubers?

No, it's two brothers. It's two brothers. They do really shitty things too. Like they do like videos of them like punching portables.

They're billionaires.

But I'm not gonna get this.

Well think of the other things we have. Adams, Michigan, Milwaukee.

These are all streets in Chicago.

Yeah. State.

Oh, Grand. Grand Paul. State. Grand. Oh, Clark.

Division.

This is also a neighborhood. Lincoln, Arbitage. Lincoln Park, Paul. Wrigleyville, Paul. Bronzeville, Paul.

No, Cooler.

Cooler, younger neighborhood. Oh, yes. Lakeview, Paul. Streeterville, Paul. Andersonville, Paul. North Center, Paul.

Oh, I love Andersonville. Gold Coast, Paul.

Oh, Edmondston, Paul.

Skokie, Paul? No.

Shomp, Paul?

No. Mokino? West. It's a little bit west.

West Paul. Logan Paul. Yes. I truly didn't know it until we got it.

Love Logan Square, you could not pay me enough to live there.

Here's the thing, I live in Logan Square.

Yeah, you could pay me enough to live there.

Adal, do they pay you enough to live there? I do get paid by the Aldermen.

Well, we all do.

It's Chicago. Because I accidentally get his mail because Aldermen's looks a lot like Adal Rifai.

Adal, I only say that because I don't have a car. And can you imagine my life without the red line or the brown line?

The blue line gets me... Well, I teach at UIC. So the blue line gets me to UIC and then IO I can take... Yeah, I guess I can take a car. Take a reliever. Like a $7 Uber. These are great. Ready? Can we do one more?

Um, yeah. Hold on, let me see which one of you is going to be more fun.

Can we please have more fun, ma'am?

Mummy? Mummy more fun? Alright, one more. It's from Katie.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you, Katie. What the Wrigleys are most famous for outside of Chicago.

Gracism.

Is that true?

Hey Riddle

Um, ready?

Erin, do you like our new game? Do you still like this?

No, that's not what happened.

Yes. Good. All we are are dust in the wind.

Wind. Gum wind. Gum wind. Gum wind. Oh, these are all, um... Stop guessing after the second one.

Oh shoot, I'm not sure how to pronounce his name and I'm so sorry. Oh, these are all planet Earthlings.

Gum. Wind. Racism. Monkey. Monkey. Donkey.

Half poor Julius Bjornson, who played the mountain in Game of Thrones, is the blankest man in the world.

He's the strongest man in the world. Is he really? Yeah. Wow.

So, it's not is, it's not is because I added is. Strong. If you're post potatoes, you're

I'm really enjoying you Katie, thank you for writing these.

One is sort of Hey Riddle Riddle related, but it's a word that you put before each of these.

Before each of these? Chewing gum. Chewing dead. Chewing strong. This week on chewing dead. Bad strong. Bad gum. Bad dad. Oh boy.

Or one you put after.

Oh, come on.

Which is the one that you put after?

The last one.

Dead Man's Curve. And it's not stopped.

It's a combined, it will make one word.

It will make one word. So gumshoe is something I know, but you said before.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Hold on, let me get it. Erin, can I write it down? It's gum, wind, headstrong, headwind, headgum, head dead.

You got it. Oh, JPC, you got it.

Headgum's our network.

Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Katie. I'm going to save your other ones too. Katie Rule and everyone who wrote in today. Thank you so much. Please keep sending these. I really, these are fun and I think different from the rest of the things we do. So I really appreciate you guys listening.

And Katie, you actually have something very special to you. Your significant other, Paul, wanted us to ask live on the air, will you marry him?

No, no, no, no, no. No, different person.

Oh, okay, I'm sorry. That's Logan Paul. That's just to break you.

Anything to plug, Adal?

I do want to say, just to piggyback off what you just said, the people who write in riddles are breathing life literally into the dying corpse of the show, so please continue to do this.

There's a special place in hell.

Please continue to send us original riddles because we will need them and we thank you so much for doing that. Also, come check us out at World News Tonight. So many people, I think, think it's spelled world, W-O-R-L-D, the normal way. It's actually spelled world, W-H-I-R-L-E-D. I thought you were going to leave it at that.

It's actually spelled world, so check us out.

So check us out. World News tonight, every Saturday at I.O. Theatre, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. We can't promise that all three of us will be there or that any of us will be there because we're busy, but typically two or more of us are there.

There was a time recently that all three of us were there and it was a freaking party.

Yeah, and if you come, let us know maybe beforehand or stick around after to say hi and don't be shy because sometimes we leave and people are like, we wanted to say hi, but we're nervous.

Hey, but most of the time I just leave, so you did miss me.

Hey Riddle. All three of them.

I collected the whole set. And also, if you come to the show, it would be very cool if you wore some Hey Riddle Riddle merch just so we can eyeball you and know to... Blow you kisses.

Pat always sees it. Pat's always like, I see a t-shirt in the second row.

But you can go to teapublic.com and check out some of our merch. We have some great stuff in there and probably some new stuff coming soon. So grab some merch.

JPC?

Yes. So if you are shopping in a retail store and you see something that you like in the store that you want to buy, go ahead and get out your phone, check their website for that same item, see if there is a sale or if they're running a sale on the website, you can force most stores to honor the web price. It's good consumer practice. I highly advise you to do so.

JPC, what do we have to do to get you to start a podcast about financing?

I will not do that. I will only start a podcast where I get to yell at a dog about taxes.

Okay. Well, that's what I asked. Follow me, Erin Keif 10 on Instagram or check out my series. Welcome back on YouTube. Just type in welcome back, Erin Keif.

Thank you. And Erin, let me give you, this is going to be kind of a connect, only connect, is that what it's called? Yeah, yeah. So this is going to be space, giant, red, and Mupitor.

Is it cake?

It is cake. Mupitor vibe.

Mupitor vibe.

Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe.

Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. Mupitor vibe. One, two, three, four, five, five! Yeah! Jazz! One, two, three, four, five. I'm a little podcast mouse and I like to do my dance.

One, two, three, four, five. I'm a little podcast cat and I'm looking for a mouse to fuck.

One, two, three, four, five. I'm a little podcast raccoon and I'm looking for a cat to eat and fuck.

In what order, please let me know.

You eat the mouse and you fuck the mouse. You eat the cat and I fuck the mouse.

We are fucking cats and mice together.

All right. Any plugs?

The cat chases the mouse and the mouse chases the raccoon and the raccoon chases the cat. That's the way of the world. It's a chase. It's a chase. The cat eats a mouse. The raccoon eats a cat. The mouse eats a raccoon and they fuck in the bed. It's a nest, it's a nest.

It's a nest bed, nest bed. Raccoon fucks the mouse and the mouse eats raccoon.

No, no, that's not the order. The raccoon fucks the cat.

Teach me mommy, teach me mommy, teach me mommy, please.

The raccoon fucks the cat. The cat fucks the mouse. The mouse fucks the raccoon, take me. Listen very close and I'll tell you the fuck order.

Yes, fuck order, fuck order. Mommy's little fuck order.

Oh no.

What is mommy's fuck order? Mommy tell us please. Before we go to bed, we need to know this please.

Casey, and I want to ask and I don't want to disrupt the flow. Is the concept of super recording a thing and was that super recorded?

The raccoon fucks a cat and the cat fucks a mouse. The mouse fucks a raccoon. That's the most romantic part.

Before we go, let me recap the fuck order. Mommy's little fuck order. Ready for recap. The mouse pucks a mouse. Raccoon eats the piss. Piss e-roads. Everything I miss. And the mother nature sings and the mother earth earth. Humans fuck the earth for their oil. Money. Oil, money, Amazon. Jeff Bezos is killing us all.

No, no, no. Repeat after me. Cat eats the mouse.

Okay. Cat eats the mouse.

Cat fucks the mouse.

Mm-hmm. Cat fucks my mouse. I can't get it right.

Again, again, again. So the mouse eats the mouse fucks the cocoon and the racoon fucks a cat. The cat fucks a mouse and we peek in again.

I have a question mommy, just to be sure. The cat fucks my mouth? Is that what I heard?

No, no, no. Let me begin again. The mouth is in love with the raccoon. This feels so good. The mouse loves a raccoon. The raccoon loves a cat. The cat loves a mouth. It's a love triangle. The cat loves a mouth?

You definitely said mouth.

I'm not saying mouth. I'm saying mouth. We can't say mouth.

Mommy, mommy, mommy. Let's replay that audio. I think you said mouth and I think you'll be surprised.

The mouth loves a raccoon. The raccoon loves a cat. The cat likes a mouse and kiss, kiss, kiss.

What about the password? Are we ready?

That was a head gum podcast.