Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a Headgum podcast.

Hey Riddle Riddle is the name of this podcast and we're going to be doing a live show of this podcast in Los Angeles, Sunday, May 17th at 7pm at Dynasty typewriter. If you want to go to the show, you should buy tickets headgum.com slash live. And if we sell out all of the early show, we may be adding a secret late show and you know, we get dirty at the late show. We don't actually get dirty at the late show. Bring your kids. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, something were going to finish.

It was the habit of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icing. And the horse came riding.

Hey, sorry, why don't you just have a seat. Erin and Japes and I want to talk to you. Sorry, this is hard as your host. As your podcast host, this is hard, but we were looking under your bed and we found some riddles. Now, we're not mad.

And it's not bad. We're not mad. And you did nothing wrong.

Disappointed.

We're more disappointed than mad.

We're more disappointed than mad.

There are no good riddles. Don't be embarrassed. Or if you want to do riddles, do them with us. And if you have questions, we want you to ask. Yeah, and I hope you're using protection. I hope you're using protection.

And if you want to talk about anything, email us at hrrpodcast at gmail.gov. No weird sex stuff, just riddles.

Just riddles. And if you're thinking about trying and doing riddles, honestly, I'd rather you do them at home.

Yeah, we would just drive all over town.

That's what I said just moments ago.

With riddles and reiterating.

And I'm going to be the first to say this. If you're going to do riddles, we would rather you do them at home.

I already said that.

But we love you. We love you so much. We're just a little bit disappointed that you're doing riddles because riddles are bad.

And we support you. Yes, and we love you. We support you. But we'll never be able to see you the same way again, if that makes sense?

Yes. That does make sense. Riddles are bad.

Here is some porn.

We want you to go up to your room.

Here's some cocaine. And we want you to pour the cocaine on the porn.

And then drink a beer.

Have fun.

Okay, no more riddles.

Have fun. Have safe fun. Have safe fun. Good, clean, safe.

And JPC, are you old man puzzles today?

And I'm your dad, JPC. We have to introduce ourselves. I'm your dad, JPC.

I'm your lamp, Erin.

And I'm your uncle, kitty cat. Yes, everyone knows this podcast is hosted by JBC, Erin, and Kitty Cat.

I mean Erin said she was a lamp, come on.

Everyone knew I was a lamp. A lamp with a wig. A wig melted under the lamp.

Does the wig match the lamp? I think the new catchphrase for this show is, no weird sex stuff, just riddles.

Good point.

Just so you know, we are going to get emails with weird sex stuff.

No, don't. Seriously guys don't.

I'm going to break out if you do that. I read these emails. Also, you know, a few weeks ago, maybe like a month ago on the show, we asked people to send us some proposal stories and people sent us their proposal stories. Some of them were pretty fun.

Any standouts?

One of them in particular was awful, like they did a bad job and they are lucky that their partner said yes to their proposal. But man oh man, proposal stories. They were a lot of fun. Thank you so much for sending them in, if you did send them in. And I cannot stress this enough. Do not send us weird sex stuff.

Okay, if you do, I'm going to post your email on the internet and tell people to find you and destroy you. Along with you.

Along with pictures of your feet?

No, no more jokes and pictures about my feet.

Goodbye. Pictures about your feet? Yes. Erin just walked through the desk.

Yeah, I'm walking over this escalator that gets out of the studio. Bye guys.

I will be honest.

I'll be escalator going up.

Now she's base jumping off the top of this mall. See you later. Do not send, no one can hear you that far away.

Do not send pictures of Erin's feet, but if you send pictures about Erin's feet, I don't know what that means.

This is Casey's Nightmare, but it's a test. Ready?

Okay, Erin is running into the corner. She's pulling a Blair Witch. Okay, she's asking if Kasey can hear her. Sorry, Audio Daddy is motioning kind of. Kasey looks very confused.

Sorry guys, that was for science. Thank you Audio Daddy. Okay, so I am Old Man Puzzles today and I do have some puzzles and riddles for you to try in a safe space. Okay, let's try it. These are actually some of them are puzzles, some of them are hurdles, and some of them this first one that we're gonna do is more like I guess like a kind of a game. And this is something that a listener sent in. This is from, did they say that I could use? Yeah, they said Damien from Pittsfield, Massachusetts. Erin, do you know where Pittsfield is?

Sort of.

Great. Massachusetts is not that big. You should know vaguely where Pittsfield is.

West.

Okay, good. That's way better than East because East is the water. So this is, Damon from Pittsfield says, Hey guys, I came up with a game where I take famous movie quotes, convert them to Shakespearean language, and your job is to convert them back. They also say, have fun.

Okay, we will.

Couldn't you have just not converted them?

And just JPC reads movie quotes?

Yeah, just read the movie quotes and we'll applaud you.

Yes. That sounds... Okay, go over to our Patreon.

We're gonna do that. I'm so sorry, Damien. This is a better game. I'm just gonna read movie quotes. We're gonna do it for an hour and a half and that'll be the fucking podcast now. Why'd you make our podcast longer? I mean, if it's gonna get better, it's gonna get longer.

Is that what you tell everybody?

I'm ready.

Okay.

Oh, and then I forgot that I get to say these in Shakespeare.

This is my audition for improv Shakespeare. For anybody who can't see, which is most people, uh, Japes is putting on pantaloons. He's pulling up his socks. He is putting on some sort of, uh, long sleeve billowy shirt.

So far it's just business as usual.

Putting on a backwards chicken onto his head. I business in the front and business in the back. I'm gonna be playing business soon.

Business as usual.

Uh, addressing thee, thy utterance be. Call me by your name. Addressing thee, thy utterance be?

Are you talking to me?

Yeah.

Oh, it's movie quotes. I'm sorry. I thought it was movie titles. It is movie quotes, not movie titles, and that is correct. Erin, you have one point. It's are you talking to me?

Sound effect of me getting a point. I got a point. No, stop it.

That's it.

Adal, no, Adal.

Refugee beckoning dwelling. Refugee beckoning dwelling. Refugee beckoning dwelling. So a dwelling that would beckon refugees would be like a hostel, and that's a movie from Eli Roth, but we're going for quotes, not movies.

You're really good at the thing that we're not doing.

Wait, can you say it again?

Refugee beckoning dwelling. This is really funny. Yeah, I think you just have to break down each one of the words. I'm the captain now. No. I am the captain now. Dwelling is like a house. Yes. Or home. Home.

There's no place like home.

Refugee. No, the refugee. So refugee beckoning home.

Refugee beckoning home.

I want to go home, something like home.

Yeah, very close.

There's no place like home.

No. What's a more modern way to beckon someone? Uh, Scientology. What's that? Flirt? No.

Call.

Yes. E.T.

phone home. E.T.

phone home. Erin has two points. This is me, sentient scoreboard.

New favorite character.

I'm looking for a new way to say that every time she gets a point. Be that our prey is prodigious, our barge must be humongous. We're going to need a bigger boat. We're going to need a bigger boat.

I am the Adal Pint. Hello, there's one of me now.

Bobcat Goldtweet? Shut up. Get away from the sentient scoreboard.

An appearance made granted that a structure be laid. If you build it, they will come. Is that it?

Yeah.

I was motioning to you to give more points.

I seconded. Here I come. There's two of me now.

Okay. It's all tied up. That's not like Yoda. Uh, although thy a babe, they thought to be brave, that a revenant peeped sans grave.

What? I'm too hot to die. I'm too hot to die. I'm too hot to die.

I don't remember what movie I'm too hot to die in, so I want to see a little scene from Saving Private Ryan.

I'm too hot to die.

My bad, my bad. I want to see a scene from Saving Private Ryan. Thank you for reminding me. Erid, you're going to be playing Private Ryan. And then Adal, you're going to be playing some of the soldier corps sent to rescue Private Ryan.

I believe there's a who's in there. So you want me to play fellow soldiers who mean this private no harm to elicit the phrase, I'm too hot to die?

No, no, no, no. I'll make it make sense. Relax. Hey, you guys, come here quickly. Come here, guys. Come here. Come here.

Oh hey, we haven't met before. We better introduce ourselves. My name is Tex.

My name is... I'm the guy from the Fast and the Furious movies.

You can just call me by my last name, Ryan. You guys, I called you over here because look at this mirror. I just kind of glimpsed of myself in this mirror. I don't think I can go out there. I'm too hot to die. I don't think I can like go on that beach with you guys. I can't go to the beach with you guys because I think I'm like a little too much.

Stop calling it going to the beach with us. That's gonna be a dead stop.

I know that's what I'm saying I can't do a dead stop.

No what I'm trying to say is there's a dead soldier in front of you stop.

You're marching along like it's Disney World. This is proving my point. He looks pretty hot too. I gotta stay.

You think you're hotter than this dead guy?

Let's see. Yes. You think you're hotter than this guy? Look at me. Look at me. Well, let me give you a spin. And washboard abs. This guy looks like the guy... What do you think a spin is?

You just twirled around and flipped your shirt up.

Yeah.

Well, this guy looks like Rudolph Auntino. He's pretty hot. Yeah, and this guy looks like the guy from Hebrew Hammer. What's that actor's name? Adam Goldberg. He was insane for Trevor Ryan. Sure, he gets stabbed while the guy goes, I hate that scene.

That scene's the fucking worst. No, you didn't get this one. Although thy a babe, thy thought to be brave, a revenant peeped sans grave. The fuck? Sound like a hot?

Pretty?

No.

Pretty woman walking down the street. So the one that you really want to clue into is a revenant peeped sans grave.

Nobody peeps baby in a corner.

A revenant peeped sans grave. This is a famous movie line.

Okay, here's looking at you kid. Play it again grave.

You're peeping at a revenant out of the grave.

There's no crying in burials. You're peeping at Revenant. So Revenant is like a Tom Hardy angel. It's like a bear that tries to eat you. You're viewing someone who has been deceased. Okay. I see dead people.

It's another point for Adal.

Oh God, there's three of me now. It's hard to fit up here. It's a bunch of kids standing where a scoreboard would be.

A quandary had wearing an overcoat. A quandary had on the earth be bad, but in the heavens it is sad.

Earth girls are easy.

Earth.

A quandary had on the earth be bad, but in the heavens it is sad. This better not be. I have no clue. I hope that that's in here, but I didn't read ahead.

I don't know.

Can you read it one more time? A quandary had. So question. On the earth be bad. On the earth be bad. But in the heavens it is sad. Bad boys for life. This one's harder, I think. Can you give me a hint? Oh, is this from Independence Day?

No, but you're close. Is this from Alien? No. Again, you're in kind of the right

It's like a blockbuster alien film.

Is Question the right thing?

Uh, no.

Oh, okay. So like a puzzle?

Quandary won't help you really. On the earth be bad, but in the heavens it is sad. Because that's where I think you were getting like the alien thing, but that's where we are. Like it's... think space.

Think space. Oh, uh, is this from Star Wars?

No, not Star Wars. It's a very famous movie quote.

Um, and it's from space. We already had E.T. Famous space movies. It's gonna be, better be Interstellar? I think this is the most famous space movie.

I think this is a Tom Hanks line.

I believe it's a Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks in space? Apollo 13, Houston we have a problem.

Houston we have a problem.

We have a problem. That's for Adal. I just got back the other day from Houston where I played with my friends, Ann and Chris Lukeman, who, you know, they did the escape room that we did on the Patreon. They booked four escape games and we did four escape games in like 48 hours. And the first one we did, they asked for a team name. And so the team name I came up with that everyone adults me with was Houston. We have a solved them. Oh boy.

Oh you're fun.

You're one of those guys. We also did a Houston.

Did you like Houston? I love Houston.

It was weird. It's very spread out and there's parts of it like there's a lot of like there's a place called Spaghetti Western we pass which looks like an original Cracker Barrel. Like what Cracker Barrel is going for but with a weird Texan Italian theme? We had a place called Cavatori, which was amazing. We had amazing Viet Cajun food. Which is a little different around here. It's just very weird.

I lived there for a summer. Really? I did. And then I also, my sister went to Rice, so I've been there a bunch. And I'm going there for a wedding in like two months.

It was, I think if you know where to look, it's fun. But as a tourist, we were frustrated at times. But we went to the cisterns, if you ever, that was very cool.

I worked at Houston Shakespeare Festival for summer. If you ever, those shows are absolutely incredible. If you live in Texas, you want to go check them out.

Famously, Shakespeare is bigger in Texas. That's true. And speaking of Shakespeare, good thing. Yeah, if I can put it on your plate for you. Right there.

Eat it up.

Eat it up, Piggy. I'm afraid my dear, with the stick and the sphere, bereavement

Shun't be seen here. There's no crying in baseball. There's no crying in baseball.

I can't, you anticipated that one.

Wow. Oh, I forgot to mention, we also did an escape room called Houston We Have a Problem, which was a reenactment of the Apollo 13 mission. Oh. And three people are astronauts, and the rest of people are in mission control. Did you get out? We got out, but I will say we played with people who, Anne and Chris's friends, who work for mission control for NASA, so it was not fair. Oh.

Wait, did they play the astronauts?

No, they played Mission Control.

That's so sad. Let them do the opposite of what they do all day.

It was super fun and it's less of a like finding keys or anything and more of like you have to reenact what Apollo 13 did.

I would hate that like that's that would be like if I for fun went and did a UFC fight. It's like I do that shit for work all day long. What do you think you do for a living?

Where do you think you are right now?

Oh, I have a guy who was worth a million dollars beat the shit out of me.

You guys gonna say for a living you get your ass whooped?

Acknowledge thy scant cohort.

Acknowledge my scant cohort?

Acknowledge thy scant cohort. Friend?

You've got a friend in me.

Acknowledge my scant cohort.

Say hello to my little friend! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b

The inquiry mind mayhaps will find of which the capsule is lined.

I'm out.

Oh, I know. Oh, do you really?

Why couldn't you put the bunny down?

Dude, it's so close, but it's not that. That's a great one. But it's Nick Cage or it's Con Air? It's not Nick Cage.

It's not Con Air. Except all those famous Con Air clothes.

Sorry, Nicko. I could go, I could go on.

What could you just put the bunny down? We need to do, that's your favorite movie. We need to do a Hey Riddle Riddle live stream.

Are you Vince Larkin? Cause I got a body here with your name written all over it.

How much of that movie do you think you could do?

I could do 100% of the lines of that movie. Me and Colin Dahlgren watched that movie once, and we just said it every line before they said it.

Here's the biggest question for you, JPC. As someone who's seen that movie 20 times myself, what do you think happens between Steve Buscemi and that little kid?

Nothing. That little kid is fine, Steve Buscemi leaves that little kid alone. Steve Buscemi has bigger fish to kill.

I want to see a scene. Before we see a scene, I would love to see a scene, but can you just give me the first few lines of dialogue from that movie if you remember what they are?

The first few, oh man, it has been a while since I've seen that, the first few lines of dialogue from that movie. So I don't know what they, I couldn't tell them, I couldn't say it for sure, but the first lines of dialogue in that movie, it opens with Nicolas Cage being trained as an Army Ranger, and it's the Army Ranger guy giving a speech about what Army Rangers are, and I think he says something about how their hands are deadly weapons, or maybe that's the judge who sentences him. That's so cool. That their hands are deadly weapons. I wish I could. I would love to do a podcast where I watch that every day for a year. Are the hands already a podcast? I would. But for Con Air? Yeah. Really?

No. They're like, they're like, yeah, yeah.

Let's do it.

We'll call it hot air. Dead air. Let's see a scene. Sure. Japis, I want you to be Nicholas Cage, and you're auditioning for Con Air, but you're fucking Nicholas Cage, so you've never had to audition before, so you didn't read the script beforehand, and now you're bullshitting your way through it.

Thank you so much for having me here.

Uh, we're actually, the audition room is right over here. You're still in the lobby.

I'm talking to the water cooler. It's so nice to meet you! Blub blub blub blub. Make your acquaintance. Blub blub blub. Thank you so much for the water.

Alright, well, we are ready to see you here, um, and walk, come on right in. Can I have your headshot?

Uh, yeah. BAM! I'm Francis Ford Coppola. You just killed that woman! No, no, no. Come on.

I just made the sound. It's fun. Well, let's bring in another casting director.

My friend is dead.

Hold on. Come on.

All right, I'll come right in. Oh, here we go. And just go get right into it whenever you're ready.

I'm Nick Cage.

Can you show us your hands and are you willing to shave?

Here are my hands. I'm absolutely not willing to shave my hands. I need the hair on my fingers.

So we're talking about your facial hair? Wait, you've never had facial hair?

In Con Air I do.

Oh, really?

Yes, I'm willing to shave. It's more like stubble. Anyway... Great, and just read that first monologue, please. I'm sorry, I do not have the lines. These? This is the lines?

Yeah, just go ahead.

Boys, is it hot on this plane or is it just you, baby-o? I know you gotta get your insulin, but I gotta get Johnny 23 off your back. And it would, you know, this Danny Trejo looking motherfucker is probably- Sorry, cut real quick.

I'm sorry. Don't call the character Danny Trejo plays a Danny Trejo looking motherfucker. Did you ever see Saving Private Ryan? Didn't you think it broke the illusion of the movie when they called the character Adam Goldberg? Uh-huh. So we want to call it by the character's name. Sure, they actually called him Hebrew Hammer in that movie because they forgot the actor's name. Fun, fun, fun.

Not to correct you too much. Okay, so this is going to be Danny Trejo.

Okay, I'm just reading the script. I'm just doing what I'm doing. Sorry, and this is maybe a little too easy to do this.

Sure, sure.

Why don't we have you do a monologue from, let's see here, The Rock. Any one of my movies. The Rock.

Was I in that? Sure. Perfect.

Dwayne, look how big you are, man. You could be a professional wrestler. Cool, this seems to be a conversation you had with Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Yeah, is that not what you wanted? Let's do Raising Arizona. Raising Arizona, okay.

Oh man, look at all these Pampers diapers. I'm in the desert and this is a convict friend of mine who's covered in poop. I tangentially remember filming this movie. I was on a lot of cocaine. Boy, I love cocaine. How much cocaine does this movie pay? The one I'm auditioning for now. Does it pay me in cocaine? Don't interrupt me. I'm still doing Raising Air. We didn't put the camera on. The inquiring mind, thy inquiring mind, mayhaps will find, of which the capsule is lined.

So is capsule, is this like matrix? No. Red pill, blue pill? No, no, no. Of which the capsule is lined. So capsule could be like a spacecraft?

No, it's not, it's not. You were close with put the bunny in the box.

Was I? Box? It's from the movie Box where they have to press a button or else someone dies.

Nobody puts baby in a box.

The inquiry mind perhaps will find of which the capsule is lined. Oh boy. There's a box. There's a box.

You have an inquiring box. What's in the box?

What's in the box?

Seven. What's in the box?

Seven.

What's in the box?

Seven. I do that every time if I'm home when like Amazon or FedEx delivers or UPS, they'll hand it to me for signature and before I sign I'll go, what's in the box? And you're famously really funny, right?

I'm never gonna watch that movie.

I famously don't get packages anymore.

You can pay me to watch that movie.

It's a frightening movie. And also, Kevin Spacey's in it.

Holds up. Fucking nightmare.

The singular entity thy should engage in consternation with is consternation thyself. They can be only one. For God? No, no, no. These are close. The one. Thy singular entity, thy should engage in consternation with, is consternation thyself. Do or don't, there is no try. Consternation is in here twice, so there's two words that are the same in this quote.

What does that mean?

There's two words that are the same.

So do, it's not do or do not, there is no try.

What does consternation mean? It's like this synonym for that.

Consonation is like to think. Consonation, furrow. She's the one they call a consonation.

I don't know.

Thy singular entity. What is that? I. One. No.

One.

One solo. So, thy is... You. Me. Me, myself, and Irene. Thy singular entity. Each one of those words, like in plain speak, would be thy singular entity. Singular entity. Yeah. One. One is the longest. One thing. One thing. The one thing.

The one.

Thy singular entity. You had me at hello. No. It's just one more thing, Colombo. It starts with the one thing. Thy singular entity. The one thing. Thy should engage in consternation with is consternation.

The one thing you gotta ask yourself is, do you feel lucky? Punk. Derpy hair bee. Do you guys give up? Yeah. This is the first one that you don't get. Wait, give us a clue.

Who's in it or maybe was setting?

I don't think I know this movie.

Okay, I'll give you the movie. I'll give you the movie. Hold on. I have to look up what this is.

Unless we're gonna get it immediately from the movie.

I don't think you will.

What do we got here? What do we got?

You're Googling something. Well, so I know it's a quote, but I don't know what movie it's from.

It doesn't say?

Well, if I Google it, I'll get the quote.

So it starts with the thing, the one thing you have to ask yourself?

The one thing is the first part. The one thing. The singular entity that I should engage in consternation with is consternation.

The one thing you must remember, the only thing you have to fear is fear. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

It's an FDR quote, but is it from a movie? Probably from Patton or something?

Probably from Saving Patton.

Boyant as a Mariposa, Roxanne, author as a drone. This just sounds like gibberish. I mean, yeah. Well, Shakespeare had a little pop culture. Cyrano de Bruggen. Buoyant as a Mariposa, comma, Roxanne author as a drone.

So who wrote Roxanne? Steve Martin? No, not the movie Roxanne. Uh, Sting. Uh-huh. This is gonna sting. Buoyant as a Mariposa. Uh, Sting Foot. You're still like a butterfly sting like a bee. There you go. That's not a movie quote.

Sting Foot.

That is not a movie quote, is it? It's probably from a Muhammad Ali movie, but it's a quote that he said, yeah. Yeah, and he was in that movie about the two pitchers who were Siamese twins, conjoined twins. He was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I want to see a scene. Erin, you are a boxer. You are trying to brand yourself before your first fight, so you're trying to come up with like, float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, you're trying to come up with your own saying or branding. And Japes is your manager.

Okay, how about this? What do you got? What do you got? Okay, I'm a horse, okay? I'm kind of like a horse.

This is the start of the mantra?

Yeah, I come in and you're the butt part of the horse. When I walk in- Wait, what are we doing?

We're doing our walk up?

Yeah, because this is leading up to my mantra.

Okay, got it, got it, got it. I'm the butt part of the horse. We walk in, you're a horse. I'm a horse. People are like, why is there a horse? This is a boxing match. Oh, it's a person. There's two people.

Yeah, it's two people. And then I get up there and I go, I'm not horsing around. I'm hitting people in the face with my hand.

Okay, okay. Okay. So you only have, you obviously only had the first part of that.

Okay, yeah.

I'm not horsing around.

Yeah.

And it was contingent on the fact that we wear horse costume. Right. Okay.

All right. Can you, you do one now.

What about this one? What about this one? Summer in the Hamptons, but fall to my fists.

I'm a sentient scoreboard and even I know that's bad.

All right. Okay. Here we go. All right.

I'm going to plug this thing. Oh, I've taken a human life. He was sentient. Oh no. What have I done? Okay. You got another one?

It's not winter, but I'm still wearing gloves.

Gloves I'm going to hit you with with my hands. What about this one? Is someone smuggling elephants in here? Because I'm really filling out these trunks.

That's a good one. Okay, I got one. Hit a man with your fists, you eat for a day. Teach a man with your fists, and you eat for your whole life.

I love that one.

That one's it.

You'll eat for your whole life. That's fantastic. Fourth right, thy caribou, thy shalt not bequeath thee accursed. To infinity and beyond. You're not even trying. Is that right? No.

What?

There's a snake in my boot. This one's hard. Forthright, thy caribou, thy shalt not bequeath thee a curse. Um, okay. Thy caribou. I don't know, thy caribou's confusing me.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Oh yes, nice, nice. Caribou, dear, I get it. Uh, thy may have pilfered- Wait, I want the scoreboard.

Erin's back on the board with four points.

Who plugged you back in? You died in a scene.

You died in a scene. If you die in a scene, you die in real life.

Oh god, I hope not.

We've heard each other a fucking lot on this show.

And pretty much every scene we're fucking killing.

One, two, just keepin' score. Alright, ready?

Thy mayhap pilfer thine vivaciousness, Thou shalt apprehend thine sovereignty.

If you steal my sunshine... Sunshine.

If you steal my sunshine... Vitamin C. This, I think, is also... their answer is misattribute. Can you say it again? Yes. Thou may have pilfered thine vivaciousness, thou shan't apprehend thine sovereignty.

Towards beauty that killed the beast. You can take my something, but you'll never take my butt. You're my hot body.

I think it's you can take our lives, but they can never take our freedom. But they've written down the answer. They can take our freedom, but they'll never take our freedom.

We'll give it to Erin. Five points! Erin, you're doing great. Thank you, sentient scoreboard. Can I just say you're also underappreciated? Oh my god. But don't listen to me. I'm drunk. Oh boy.

What did you drink, sentient scoreboard?

Uh, grease. Can I do a Shakespearean quote? Yeah, sure.

You do this extemporaneous school board.

That is what becometh of sand. Sorry, fuck. That is the precursor to glass. Sandy?

Can we open a greased theme? I think we should open a grease bar where all the drinks are like the Rizzo and it's just like a bunch of cherries and a cup.

So it's a joke bar.

No, no, no. There's real drinks, but also like every character. The Kanicki's like not allowed in the bar because he's bad, you know?

I'm thinking for Kanicki's.

There's like a drink that's like nobody's jugs is bigger than their necks.

Why Kanicki great till he gotta be great Rizzo.

Yeah. Okay, ready?

Oh, I love juice by Rizzo. I'm a thousand percent. That lady T-bird. What were they called? The Pinkies. The Pink Ladies.

The Pink Ladies. I was a Pink Lady, I was Jan. Brisham brasham brasham.

She's the best one. Oh, in the musical? She is the best one. Jan's fun. Thy shalt bequeath thee a bequeathment thy shan't repudiate. Kweef.

That is pretty funny.

Moments ago the billboard said you were underappreciated.

The human body's a weird thing. You can just say it, can I tell you a memory?

Sure. It was an after party for like a musical rap party. So, you know, after we had done a musical in high school, a bunch of us sat around a circle and a friend of mine, we had never heard someone queef before and we were all very silent. And then a friend of mine queefed for us and we were all like, oh.

I won't name names. You will never name names. The hardest I laughed, I think in a five year period, there was like tears rolling down my face, the hardest I laughed, was I was in a movement class in college and my very sweet friend who is probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life. She's so funny and so great. We were in a movement class in college, like an acting movement class, so we're like doing all these crazy things.

There's a bowel movement class?

Yeah, and the teacher came over to us and he was very serious and like he didn't like laughter and she started queefing and I knew that she was doing that and we both just started crying and he had no idea why we were just like crying, laughing. It is still to this day one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Was she doing it to make you laugh? No, she couldn't help it. It was because of this moving class. You guys, you guys, everybody listening, you guys, it's still one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Or seen. One of the funniest things I've ever heard is this upcoming ad from one of our sponsors. We'll take a quick break, come right back with more queefs. I hope it's funny.

Hey Riddle Man. Hey Riddle Man.

And we're back with more Hey Riddle Riddle. Current score is Erin 5. Adal.

It's really hard to keep track of these. We're on number 14, so can that math be right? Doesn't matter. Here we go. I came back from the dead. I'm a miracle.

I'm a miracle.

We keep resetting you like the good place.

That's the cutest thing I've ever heard.

This is totally fucked.

I'm a miracle. Thank you, Erin. I'm a miracle. I'm a miracle.

You're not too funny until somebody loves you. Hi, I'm Ricky. And I'm here too. Oh, the family's all here. So again, I'm sentient scoreboard. Brother, introduce yourself. My name's Ricky.

I am a sentient basketball hoop. And my name's Miracle, and I'm a sentient blender. I'm a cousin. We all keep score, though. Yeah, we all keep score.

And we settle scores.

Yeah, we settle scores.

Let's get this queef one.

I almost did the voice again. Thy shalt bequeath thee a bequeathment, thy shan't repudiate. If you give a gift for give up, if you... Thy shan't repudiate I think is the important part here. If you can get that.

I'm not gonna repeat myself.

No. I'm not gonna... What does repudiate?

To repudiate means to... What's the genre of a movie?

So not what I said. I don't know.

Do your repeat date is to Pew date again? Mafia. Mafia. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't repeat.

That was too good of a hit.

Damn, tied up 5-5.

Thy shower retorts.

Anyone want a smoothie? Miracle? I would love that. Can I just say, you're a miracle. Every time I make a smoothie, it comes out all basketball. Whee! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Oh no, my basketball. Oh shoot. Oh shoot. Oh shoot. Shoot the ball. What I love people do with me is shoot, shoot, shoot. Do you hear about Nick Cage killing that casting agent? I did hear about that.

Crazy!

Well, turns out he was really apologetic and he didn't mean to do it. Oh. Strawberry smoothies? Yeah, please. Pardon my net. Is this podcast alienating?

Almost certainly.

Are we so far up our own asses that we've made unlistenable content? Sure, sure.

There's still one person out there that is just as weird as us. You're listening. But we're almost begging them to stop listening. We're so sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm a blander. I'm a sentient scoreboard. If there was a cruel god, he would stop recording this podcast. Audio Daddy?

No. Okay, another one. Serious.

Thy shalt retort. Thy shall retort. Wait, you shall not pass. No. Thy shall retort. That's good, though. That's it? Just thy shall retort.

You can't handle the truth.

Thy shall retort. I'll be back. I'll be back. I'll be back. Thine existence henceforth.

I'm going to come back. I'm going to circle back around. I'm going to make like a boomerang and come on back to where this is.

I want to see a scene. Yes. Erin, you are Jeebus Kysp and Jeebus Kysp and you are on the crucifix and this is getting weird. We're safe. We're still good.

How about I'm not there yet?

I'm famously not knowledgeable about the Christian faith, but doesn't Jesus come back on Easter? He's in a cave. Somebody rolls a rock and he hands him a rolling rock. He does die before that. Hands him a rolling rock! This is Jesus having one more conversation with Judas, who will be played by Japes, and you're letting Judas know basically that you'll be back, even if you shall perish.

Hey bud.

Ooh, you're chipper.

Uh, first of all, I forgive you.

Uh, I don't know what you mean. Really? Okay.

Do this?

Yeah, I did. Buddy? I did it for 30 pieces of silver.

Yeah, I want to hug it out. Because I forgive you, I'm going to die for your sins.

I don't know if I can hug you just because of kind of your arm placement.

Okay, just can you, I thought we would not acknowledge that, because we're trying not to offend everybody right now.

I'll just hug your post. How about that?

Um, okay bud. Hey bud.

Yeah.

I'm happy to die for your sins. Okay. I'm a good guy. No, you know what?

You're really making me feel like a piece of shit.

Well, you are kind of a piece of shit. Well, what the fuck? Are you a good guy or am I a piece of shit?

Can you keep it down?

Hey Barabbas, why don't you keep it down?

What's my name?

Barabbas and you're free. Don't wear it out.

Don't wear it out. But just, I'm going to be back, okay? I'm going to rise up. I'll be back and then I'm going to rise up.

Okay, we're going to get sued over this.

Wait, am I a character in Mortal Kombat? You will be back. Barakas?

No. No, no, no, you're Barabbas. The people love you.

Like the tricks? Barabbas?

Keep guessing. It's okay. Hey, guess what? We're cool. We're cool. I'm gonna be back. And I don't want it to be awkward when I come back. I just wanted to clear the air before I go.

Okay.

Happy to die for your sins.

Can I be alright with you? What? Yeah, what's up? Am I still gonna get into ancient domo? I don't know. You know what?

You know, because I'm dying for your sins, you just need to ask for forgiveness. By the way, just make sure that no one does anything hateful in the name of me. I'm actually a pretty good guy and I'm preaching love and doing good things for other people. Make sure no one homophobic or nightmarish kills anyone.

I'm only gonna be alive for like three more years because I'm already 12 and people have to be about

Can you like write it down though that like maybe don't hate people and being a Christian is about helping people?

I don't know man.

You're 12 years old. How old are you Barabbas?

Just make sure it's not something that like rich people use to justify terrible actions, okay?

Okay, Barabbas is hitting on me now.

I feel like you're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm worried about my legacy. I'm worried about my legacy starting to panic. Famously I fucked a loaf of bread.

Adal, you know all about Barabbas, right? It's actually Barabbas the Rapper and he had a PlayStation 1 video game. Thine existence, henceforth, be tantamount to receptacles of truffles. Chocolate.

Life is like a box of chocolate.

Life is like a mushroom. Life is like a bunch of mushrooms. Viracity be not with... Have either of you ever done mushrooms?

Oh yeah. I did them a few times in college and it was great. And then I did them one time when I moved to Chicago and I laid in a bathtub thinking my brain was melting.

And crying.

So I haven't done them since. I've said this many times but I feel like I've aged out of drugs because I've been sober for so long now that it's just been like... I don't think I will ever go back to drugs because I think it's just been too long. Is it six years sober? Six years, yes. It's over five years or something like that, I can't remember. That's amazing.

Do you have a mushroom experience that sticks out in your head? I've never done it.

Yeah, I've had so many fun mushroom experiences. I mean, mushrooms are a great drug, because they last a long time, and they're relatively cheap. I think it was like $35, and you're tripping for eight hours. It was phenomenal. There's so many great ones. I think I've told this one on the podcast before, but I told you about the treasure map.

I think you told that on a Patreon, so maybe it's...

Hey Riddle. Hey Riddle. Just go right past me like, hey dad, we're just hanging out. And just go to the basement. Your dad won't care. That's all he'll want. And he's like, no. What if he tries to talk to me? He'll know. I'll get freaked out. I can't do it. And I was like, to show you how easy it is, I will right now call my mom, who is in Hawaii at the time, I'll just call my mom and have a normal conversation with her and show you how easy it is. And so in between me doing that, I dialed my mom to call her to whatever. And in between me doing that and me remembering what the fuck I was doing, I was like, hey, mom. She's like, what's going on? I was like, not much. Oh, I'm on mushrooms right now.

Oh, no.

Your mom seems like the most relaxed, chill person though. She was fine with that.

No, no, no. I had done mushrooms before too.

Has she done mushrooms?

Has she told you like she's done mushrooms? Yes, yes. But I mean, she didn't, she never did that. She did that when she was in the college and stuff.

Did you guys ever watch the web series Dorm Life?

No.

You used to love it in high school. It's my all-time favorite web series.

Anybody we'd know in it?

Yeah, a few people. I think some of them went on to write for Arrested Development. They're all pretty big comedy writers.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I know all those writers from Arrested Development.

No, and also one of the women from Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros was an actor's sentence. She's so funny in it. But there's a quote in it that my friends and I used to say all the time, and it was a guy drunk calling his mom. And all of it, the whole clip of Cut 2 was him just going, my dick is out right now. My mom, my dick is out right now. That's awful. That just reminds me of that. I've done ayahuasca.

Okay.

You're a miracle.

How do you get ayahuasca into a scoreboard? I didn't ask for it. Veracity be not within thou comprehension. Um, veracity? Veracity be not within thou comprehension.

You can't handle the truth.

You can't handle the truth, yes. Nice one, Erin.

We keep guessing the better coming next.

Unearthed e route existence doth sprout. Life finds a way. Life finds a way. Nice. He's crushing these. Life finds a way. Thou shalt take with thee.

Thou shalt not pass.

Spiritual energy. Thou shalt take with thee. Soul. Spiritual energy. You got soul. You're taking spiritual energy with you. You've been served. I'm someone who's saying take the spiritual energy with you.

And also with you. Spiritual energy.

Close to that and also with you.

So what would be spiritual energy?

May the force be with you.

May the force be with you. Yeah, some of these are pretty hard.

And also with you Star Wars.

But also with you Star Wars. Church is Star Wars now. It's more popular. Disney bought church. Disney bought church.

Disney freaking would buy church, y'all.

Disney would buy church. And the people would start going to church. They'd be like, it's awesome.

It's Disney now. They pump cookies.

No clocks. Pumped cookies. Did you... Pumped cookies sounds like something that like a gas station tried out one weekend and it did not work.

Well I wasn't there to tell them that they were doing great.

They sell crown of thorns hats. Jase were you in the green room when Rob was talking about his daughter? Yes. This is the world news screen room. Rob's daughter is obsessed with Darth Vader. So she started watching the Star Wars movies and she's obsessed with Darth Vader and like all the villains in any Disney movie. But we for some reason started doing Cajun Darth Vader and it was like tickling me very hard.

Do you want to give us a little taste?

Adal can do good Cajun because he does gambit on the show.

It's just water boy.

Come to the back of the board. Come to the back of the Death Star. Okay, ready? All right.

Oh yeah, I kind of want to hear one more.

Yeah, let's do one more.

No, no, I want to hear one more from you.

Oh. It's dollars.

This is like... Worth it. I'm so glad I asked.

This is too dangerously close to like Jar Jar Binks actually, but manifest thee thy capital. Show me the money. Yeah. Show me the money. Momentum for thee. Show me the moonie. Show me the moonie. Momentum for Thee, an obligation you see. It's about family, fast and furious. Fast kind of is part of it. Fast times are rich my high. Spagoli. Momentum for Thee, an obligation you see.

Momentum for thee. Oh, momentum.

An obligation for momentum. I feel the need for speed. Top Gun. Damn Adal's fucking crushing it. For all of the realm, be it me at its helm. I'm the captain now. I run the world. I am the captain of the world. No, it's not the captain. I'm the king of the world. I give that one to Adal. Apprehension of thee by A or by C, including the mongrel makes three. What? One if by land and two if by... There's a dog part? There's a dog in there. I love dogs. I love dogs. Can you say it again? Apprehension of thee by era by sea, including the mongrel, makes three.

I'm gonna get you and your little dog too. I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too.

And I just watched Wizard of Oz.

That's from that. Thine life be not over, thou is aghast to discover. Thine has only grown bolder. Hmm. Okay.

I'm a big kid now.

Death is just the beginning of life. No. Thine life be not over. You're not there. Thou is aghast to discover. Thine is only grown bolder.

Only grown bolder.

Star.

It didn't, doesn't die.

What's the genre of movie? I don't know. I don't even know what movie this is from. Is it a quote we'd know? Yeah, you would know like every one of these quotes.

Brave, something about brave. The few, the good and the brave. I mean, some of these don't think we're movie quotes.

Oh, what? I don't know. I don't know if this is a movie quote. Anyway, it's what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Yeah, it's a Kelly Clarkson song.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, better, faster, harder.

Before thee a course lay, an array for the way, thine elects the infrequent surveyed. What was the last wording?

I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.

Is that it? No. This is not a movie quote. These must just be quotes? Some of these are just quotes. Before thee a course lay, an array for the way, thine elects thee infrequently surveyed. The path is clear. It's like about a path.

The path is clear.

But not a path.

The path, the path less chosen, the road less traveled, is a better road.

This is from Robert Frost.

Two roads and two paths and a road diverged.

Teach him to road for a day and he'll road for life.

Yeah, he'll road for life. Okay, this one, this one again. A stride shall be scant for a singular scamp for the sun of the masses. A hop shall be massive. And that's one giant leap from mankind.

That's one giant leap from mankind. And that's one giant leap from mankind.

I fucked it, I fucked it. Can they hear me on the moon? Speaking of hearing us on the moon, you know the moon famously has effect on waves, tidal waves. Waves are typically found where?

Do it, do it, get to it, the beach, come on, you can do it Adal, get there, get there Adal. Really? You're kind of closing. Really?

Fuck.

I biffed it.

I biffed it.

Okay, no, no. Go back to beach. Biff, biff, biff.

Yes, go back to the future, okay? The future of Earth would be... Heat death. Heat death, yeah. The star of heat, besides De Niro... Kilmer. Okay, you put this into a kilm to make... Rocks? Mm-hmm. And tiny rocks, if they're broken up, are... Sand. No, divorced.

Sandy's here!

Sandy is here.

Let's do a sandbox.

See? Wow, it's unseasonably warm outside. You know what I think I want to do?

What?

Play in the sandbox. Come with me!

Why are you taking your clothes off?

Oh, I've read the room wrong.

Oh, tell me we're going to Sandy Dipping.

I'm ripping my clothes off. How did you read the room wrong? It's a woman and her child are trapped in a room.

I read it from bottom to the top, right to left.

Honestly, I read the room wrong. I saw it with a friend and did not know what it was going to be about. And we get into the movie theater and I think it's like some sort of like post-apocalyptic, they're trapped in space. And then like 10 minutes in I go, Oh, is this about? And she's like, yeah.

And I'm like, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hey Riddle. We don't agree with homophobia. So if I said dog wins game inherits fortune you would say air bud because it's a dog. So it sounds the same. It's like King Ralph, but for a dog. I read that movie wrong. All right, you ready?

Yes.

Here we go. Red-headed orphan carries a lot of stuff. Annie Hall. Annie Hall. Annie Hall.

That's so funny.

Destroying Phoenix and all its surroundings. Destroying Phoenix. Raising Arizona.

Wow, Adal's slaying this.

Adal, you're good at stuff like this.

You're smart, your brain's so big.

Lady finds a penny. Penny Marshall. Rich woman, pretty woman. Lady finds a penny. Sense of a woman. Sense of a woman. Adal! A rooster story. Chicken run, a rooster story. A rooster story. Rooster story. Now things are going to slow down. Because Adal can't get up. Now we're going to take it easy.

Let me give you to a chance. I know this one first. Ducktail. Chicken tail.

Oh, Chip and Dale. I can give you the actual movie came out. I can do that by guessing because I don't actually know. I would say 86. A Rooster story? A Rooster story. American tail. Rocky? 88. I was wrong. 88. Very close. So what are the tales, right? So Cock. American Tail. Is it Cock? Cocktail? Cocktail.

Cocktail with Tommy.

You've got it. Is it Cock? How many times? Is it Cock? Is it Cock? Every time I go in for my physical, the doctor checks for hernia, I go, is it Cock? Feasting, hunting, adoring. Beavers build in New York. Damn. Damn shame. Damn Yankees. Damn Yankees. I got one. I got one.

I love damn Yankees. Is it a musical? I love when a bunch of men are singing.

Huh?

That's my favorite kind of musical. A ton of men are on stage.

Then why do you keep going to strip clubs?

Oh, well that's a completely unrelated part of my personality. But an important part of my personality.

Procession at a canine wedding. Father of the bride. Mmm. Procession at a canine wedding.

Dog.

Five. Dog day afternoon. Dog. Procession.

What's another... My best dog's wedding. Runaway dog.

My best dog's wedding is with me. Sandy, is precession the word that we're cueing into here?

Yeah, precession's not quite a synonym for the word I'm looking for, but where does precession take place? What part of the room? Isle. Isle? Go on. Isle. I'll be home for dogmas. I love dogs. Isle of Dogs. Nice. Isle of Dogs. Remember that movie? Yeah. Yeah, it was great. I liked it. Yeah. Um, this one is a little hometown pride. Northwestern's time atop the college rankings. Northwestern's time. Wildcats? No. Northwestern's, uh, mascot. It's also an album as well as a, uh, movie. Album.

Northwestern's time atop the top. Would it say that one more time?

Northwestern's time atop the college rankings.

And this is Father of the Bread.

And it's also an album. I want to say it's a movie, the Marshall Mathers EP. So North Washington is famously what?

Chicago. Color.

Purple. Purple Rose of Cairo. Purple. The color purple.

The color purple.

Purple rain. Purple rain. See, they rain.

They rain on top.

You got it?

I see.

The waters of Lake Minnetonka. Okay, so the rest of these are ones that I got from people on Twitter. I put this theme out on Twitter.

So Sandy, you've begun to get what we do, which is run out of riddles and then have our fans right before us.

Very smart, very smart. Very savvy. Same type of game? It's exactly the same. I just want to give some credit to each one. So this is from Daniel. Conflicts between Ringo and special prosecutor Ken. What is happening here? Barbie Beatles?

Rockstar. Popstar.

Confessions of a teenage, probably.

Ken Starr was the Clinton prosecutor.

So if it's a conflict from Ken to Jim, what's the... What is the other one? Ringo? Ringo.

Star Wars.

Heard of it. Something with Ken. We're done.

It's Ringo. It's Ringo and Ken.

Star. Ringo Starr is his name.

Yeah, they're fighting. This is from Adam. Naturalized walking stick. Naturalized walking stick. Naturalized walking stick. Citizen Kane. Oh, that's so good.

Adal, turn off your brain. You know that thing where I hit you in the head and you're bad at these for a couple minutes?

Yeah, doctor said I have 10 concussions.

Hey Spider-Man. You're remembering that wrong. From all those concussions.

Turn off the dark my man. Doorframe is from PG. Doorframe on a rocket. Doorframe on a rocket. Oh boy.

Gravity.

What would be another name for a lean to? A doorframe. What's another word for a doorframe? I don't know.

Entryway.

Doorframe.

Doorframe on a rocket.

Doorframe on a rocket, I know. I know it's serious.

Space Jam.

Something ship. Well, no. Space Jam. Space Jam. Jam. Jam. Jam, but with a B. Jam. Yeah, Space Jam.

Space Jam.

Remember that movie? In Space, no one can hear you, Jam. Yep. From Michael, thieves that also stole Parsley, Sage, and Rosemary.

King.

Okay, those are all spices, right? Spice wrappers. Well, not only are they all spices, but they're all part of a quartet of spices. So what's left? Parsley, sage, and rosemary. Thyme. Thyme bandits.

Thyme bandits. That's amazing.

Fun. Biography. Who did this one? Thank you. Sabin. Biography of a cobbler. Fuck you, Sabin. Next Sabin, you piece of shit college guys.

Biography of a cobbler.

Pie. Biographical. Shoe story. Not that kind of shoe gobbler.

The first pie. American pie. Biographies. Life of pie. There it is. Life of pie.

Life of pie. All right. These are tricky. From Jen, we have Oolong online. T site. T web. T. Internet. Oolong online.

I like this one.

Oolong online. Dr. T and the website. So oolong online. Safari, tea safari. So what do you call something that's like an online version of something? What do you say before it? www. World Wide Web. So like if you're sending letters online, they are not mail, they are email.

Wow, that's good.

Who did that one? That was Jen.

Oh, I love that one. I want to be bruised by you, Jen.

Ooh, fucking fight me. Jen, beat the shit out of me, Jen.

This got so weird. Sorry, you guys. I think that one's my fault.

Reptiles cover a flat grassland from Marika. Reptiles cover a flat grassland.

Desert.

Flat grassland? Plain white T-Rexes. Plain white T-Rexes. Go on. So snakes on a plane.

There it is. I love it. Are snakes reptiles? Yeah, I saw that in theaters. Says your butt. Aren't they?

Yeah, sure. I mean, they're not fungi. They're not mammals. What else? Is there anything less? All right. What the wind did at a swimming hole What the wind did at a swimming hole? Twists. At a swimming hole.

What the wind did at a swimming hole? Oh wait, Erin knows it. Let's stop. Let's all look at Erin. It's all looking at her. Erin's got it. Here we go. Say it one more time.

One, two, three. What the wind did at a swimming hole? What the wind did at a swimming hole? The real movie came out in... did not know, I've never seen it. What's another word for swimming hole? Swimming hole. Pond? On Golden Pond? 1980 and the sequel is 1991. There's a sequel. Alien. So what does wind do except for blow? Well, what it did. What it did. Blue.

Blue. Blonde.

Blue jasmine. Blue jasmine. Blue waters. Blue.

Blue lagoon.

Blue lagoon. Erin got it. That was a little help from our friends.

Rinko Star Wars.

Got a few more. Guy who has possession of a visibly embarrassed star of adventures in babysitting. This is from Ryan.

What? Can you say that one more time?

Guy who has possession of a visibly embarrassed star of adventures in babysitting. Elizabeth Shue owner?

Shy, visibly embarrassed. Yeah. Who is, I don't know, the star of... Elizabeth Shue? Was it Elizabeth Shue? Yeah.

So it's the owner of Elizabeth Shoe, but she's visibly embarrassed. Yeah. Shai Shoe. So if... Red Shoe. Red Shoe Diaries. Red Shoe. Red Shoes, right? The Red Shoes. The Red Shoes. Martin Scorsese's favorite film. Oh no, it's not. It's a movie with the title, we maybe don't know this movie. Red Shoe.

No, we got it.

The Red Shoes of Cairo. It's with Tom Hanks. Oh. 1985. Yeah, Sleepless in the Red Shoe. It's the man with one red shoe away. The man with one red shoe. I don't know that one.

I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

I don't know that one.

I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one. I don't know that one.

I don't know

Urotic recordings, ASMR, snuff, alkaline solutions, battery juice, alkaline solutions would be acids. Salt water? It's like an acid. Acid? It's like an acid. Poison. Acid.

Acid.

Erosion. Mercury.

Erotic what?

Erotic recordings developed in alkaline solutions.

Sex poison videos here. You got it.

Nice. There it is. All right, last one. This is my favorite from Violet. Angry Apple Computers. Mad Max. Boom.

Boom. That's such a good one.

That's from who? Violet.

Violet.

Well done, Violet.

Violet, you're turning violet.

I want you to find me Violet wherever I am in the world and just beat the crap out of me. Just fucking fight me.

Our fans can fucking fight me.

Sandy, these are amazing.

Sandy, these are so great. Thank you so much to all of the contributors.

Anything to plug.

Oh yeah, what are you up to? Yeah, you can always find me on Twitter at PZLR. I post puzzles there every day, every weekday. And then mysteryleague.com is where you can learn about all the games that I make which are available for corporate team building. If you're in Chicago, you should check out the Escapes Outpost in the basement of the Games Cafe, where The Last Defender is being run, as well as Nobita Lodestar, which is a new game that we've made. Oh yeah. Very cool. Yeah. And where can people buy sandbox shirts? Mm-hmm. You open up the trunk of your car and you show that you have too many... I have one. I'm wearing it. I've been wearing it for a year, waiting for people to ask me to... So you can buy that for $1,000. Perfect. And let me just say, it stinks. Please take it off me. Thank you so much. We're going to put you back inside this bottle. We're going to cork it up and we're going to toss Sandy into the ocean.

And if we're meant to find him again, then we'll find him again.

Bye. Bye.

Bye Sandy, have fun in hell motherfucker. Bye Sandy. He's with his son.

A fan? Drew, you know what, let me look it up because it's important. A fan Drew.

So a fan Drew, and that's all we'll hear of that until later. Adal, you have anything to plug?

Yes, I want to say to check out Magic Tavern has a bunch of content at Stitcher Premium. We have offices and bosses season three. We have a Spintac series. We have a board game series called Earth Games where we play Earth games. One of the guests is our own Erin Keif. Erin, what did we play? We played something. We played Clue? No, Monopoly? I can't remember.

Oh, with me? We played Life.

We played the game of life.

And Momo was an athlete.

Momo was an athlete.

And we played Skategories.

And Skategories. So Erin's on two episodes, I forgot. So please check out that. It's on Stitcher Premium. I also want to give a quick shout out to the Instagram for my kippies. That's fries and brisket. The Instagram handle is friesandbrisket. My girlfriend Gemma runs that account. And you can slowly see brisket or newer kitten getting fatter and fatter.

This is a note about Sandy. So a fan, their Twitter handle is moxiebottle. They drew us as the Heathers, which is hysterical. Oh, I love that piece of art. A listener named my name is Grant said, I think that makes Sandy Veronica and that feels right. And that made me laugh really hard. I was like, oh my God, we just corrupt Sandy.

Do you have anything you want to play? You can follow me on Twitter at JPsofly. I will never tweet anything funny, but I will scream at liberals. So if you enjoy that, that's where you can find me.

That's just the internet now. Follow me, Erin Keif, too, on Twitter and Erin Keif 10 on Instagram and watch my web series. It's called Welcome Back. You can find the link in my bio on my Instagram or just type in Welcome Back, Erin Keif, into YouTube and you can see all the episodes.

And again, I just want to give a straight up shout out to Damien from Pittsfield, Massachusetts. Damien, thank you so much for submitting these.

The entire episode of Riddles.

These were fun.

Did I ever tell you guys where my home planet is? Oh, where is it? Can I guess?

Well, let me guess first. Pluto.

No.

Not a planet.

Jupiter? Yeah, Jupiter.

Wow, second guess.

I'll be at all.

Bye forever. I guess it's just me. What do we talk about now?

Casey cut it. Huh? Play the music over this, Casey.

I have so much to say.

No, you don't.

I have ideas for podcasts.

Unplug? What's the unplug?

What if there's a podcast? Jupiter, bye forever. And it's three friends talking about movies.

And John Patrick Coan, Casey Tony could be editing.

Have already parented the music.

That was a Headgum podcast.