Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, then we're going to finish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icing.

And the horn seemed rising.

No shit. All Sherlock, it's Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And we are rockin' and rollin'. And you've done something new to your hair today. Yeah, I can't quite place it.

I can't quit putting my finger on it. You're just out of reach. I'm trying to put my fingers in it.

I've been told I shouldn't do that. Cut some of it off to see if I can reconfigure.

Right before we recorded, I said, don't talk about my hair. I just am putting it up in a crazy way to get my bangs out of my face. And right out of the gate, they talked about my hair and then JPC reached across the table.

And today I'll be posting a picture on Twitter of this exact moment. Hashtag she bangs, she bangs.

Erin, I think your hair looks great. The only reason that I mention it is because of how weird it looks.

Is this episode 68?

This is 68. Which I believe you're hosting, and then JPC will be doing a 69. We all know what that means, making a big pan of lasagna with your cat. I come, you come, we all come. You said that you weren't going to talk about Cub Town on this podcast. That's fair. To be fair. Erin, you and I just got back from Grand Rapids. We did. Where we did a show and some workshops.

Do you want to tell JPC all about it?

I literally have not heard about it and I was waiting until we got on air so that the good stuff could be captured forever.

Well, we drove three hours each way. I heard about this. We listen to musicals. Erin played me all of Assassins, which I'd never heard. It was fantastic. I thought it was tremendous. So I'm excited to see the show. Best song? Best song is the one that's a duet between Squeaky From and someone else.

The guy who liked Jodie... Shot Roosevelt? No. Reagan. He tried to... Oh, Hinkley. Hinkley. Hinkley Jr.

Hold my pistol. Hold my gun. Assassin's time has come.

You say you don't want to be off book, but you auditioned for it everywhere.

Oh, so you just mentioned Coan. We did that. I kept putting on cats as a joke.

We kept listening to cats. We listened to some Joseph, Hadestown. Joseph Slabs. The people there were tremendous. We met so many wonderful people. I thought the show went pretty good. People seemed to enjoy it and laughed a bunch.

I got really bad stage fright before that show. Every once in a while, you guys, I get pretty bad stage fright.

You never know when it's going to strike. JBC, just so you know, I did use the following phrases in the show. Finger-banged in the Culver's, butt-fucked in the Cracker Barrel, 69 in Red Robin. I say that because you're prepping for episode 69, so you might want to work in some Red Robin.

I don't care how many Luke Knoll song titles you use.

We went twice. We went the night of our show and then the very next day for dinner, we went twice to maybe the best tiki bar I've ever been to.

Which is crazy because Adal's obsessed with tiki.

Wait, for dinner you went to a tiki bar? Yeah, we had the best chicken of all time.

Truly.

Age primer by. We had oysters. Wow. Between the two of us, we had nine tiki drinks. You ate oysters and Grand Rapids? Yeah. Okay.

Well, so we went- That's smart. This is what happened. Sure. So we were driving into Grand Rapids, and we saw a huge billboard. Oh, yes. This is a good idea. You can tell it.

We saw a huge billboard that said, it's called Max's South Seas Hideaway. And I saw that and I go, oh, we got to go to this tiki bar. And Erin goes, yay.

You do your... I went, yay.

And then I said... She does it much better. And then I said, oh, it says coming this fall.

And Erin said... Oh.

And then I go, but it is fall.

Yay.

I go, but it's beginning of fall.

Oh.

And then she looked at it and she goes, it's open.

It's open. And so we went to our show.

It's called Max's South Seas Hideaway. And it's a $33 million tiki bar. We met the owner, which is a guy named Mark Sellers, who's a billionaire and he owns the Titanic. It's a $33 million Tiki bar. What does that mean? If you were inside of it, you'd get it.

It is truly one of the coolest restaurants or bars I've ever been in my life.

I'm going back next year because they're building a Tiki themed Airbnb on the roof, or not on the roof, but the top floor. On the roof. So I'm going to go back and stay in the Airbnb. Yeah, just throw a sleepy bag out here. It gets pretty cold at night. It rains, but that's part of the tropical field, Polynesia.

But I've never gone to a restaurant twice in 24 hours, I don't think. And we went for drinks and had really fun tiki drinks. And then we went back the next day and got amazing food.

I went to that vegan place twice in 24 hours that we went to when we went to LA. I went to that place after both. No. God, why did I go to it? Did we have two shows in LA? No, we didn't. Of course not. We had one show. I don't know why I went there twice, but I went there twice. Maybe after recording? Oh no, it's because we were looking for a restaurant and I was like, oh, this is like a vegan restaurant. This place looks great. And then I realized it was two blocks away from the place where we were doing our show. Perfect.

Also, you're like, I'm in LA, the best vegan restaurants in the world, probably, and I'm just going to go to one twice.

The one place in LA that I wanted to go, they have like a vegan fast food place. I can't remember what that place is called, but... In and out. Yeah, in and out. Everything's vegan there.

Wait, right? Please?

But yeah, that's awesome. Finding like a little local jewel, and it's a tiki bar, so it's got something for Adal, and it was $33 million, so it has something for Erin.

I'd only ever been to three dots in a dash.

I'm not saying she's a gold digger. Finish it. No.

I would love to be rich, like so rich.

You were flirting with that guy pretty hard. Yeah, we met him and he was, you could, you could not ask for a more casual looking billionaire. Like he, like Mark Zuckerberg would turn to him and be like, yikes dude, dress up.

And everyone in the restaurant was like, you shouldn't meet him.

He's so nice. I'm glad that I wasn't there because I probably would have stabbed him in the neck and eaten him. That would have put a damper on the evening. I hope I've never met a billionaire. You might have. Yeah, you never know. You met Camillionaire. I did meet Camillionaire. You were front row at one of his? I was front row at one of his arrests. Well, I'm sorry, his arraignment. He unfortunately was riding dirty, which is illegal in Illinois until January 1st.

Do you think I'll ever be so rich? I want to be like fire your maid weekly kind of rich.

Oh, you're playing a little game on your phone?

Plants vs. Zombies 3? I have to keep my phone not on airplane mode because I have to access my riddles.

Oh, can you turn off the volume? What about the little button on the side that turns the volume off?

The volume's all the way down.

This button? Don't you have this thing? Are you gaslighting us? We just heard a noise. The volume's all the way down. How long have you had an iPhone that you didn't know about that button?

Can I tell you something Erin? Can I tell you something? And I'm not, I'm no hedge fund manager. If you want to be rich, you have to know how to turn off your phone.

If you want to be liked, you have to stop being so mean to me. This is my Jeff Fox word.

If you can't turn off the volume on your phone, you can't be a billionaire.

Hey everyone, I'm okay.

Yeah Erin, I think that there's a chance that you could be so rich.

I want to be like, fire my maid.

What would you be rich for? You'd be what? You want to be rich so you could fire a person? By the way, I've fired people before. It's a terrible thing to do and you don't have to be rich to do it.

No, I want to be like, like old school, like divorcee rich. Like I want to be like...

Like old family money?

Yeah, I want like old family money and I'm divorced and I have like a harp and I have like a little bell.

You're describing Elizabeth Taylor.

I think I want to be Elizabeth Taylor. I'm not even kidding.

Mariah and I have had this conversation before because we both want to marry Rich and obviously if we get married, we're not going to. To be fair, Rich is handsome. Hell yeah. Rich is so good looking. Poor. But we've played through the scenario of what would happen. And what would need to happen is that we would have to marry some other person. They would have to die. And then we could get married when we had all that rich person.

Are you implying murder?

No, no, no, no, no. You just marry someone who's super old, right?

Adal, you're an old man that JPC has married.

Can I just say, Erin?

What?

Thank you so much for saying you're an old man. Legit. Instead of just saying you're a man and implying I'm old.

You're you and about your age.

You're you with the face you got.

You're an old man and JPC you've married him and you're trying to like not kill him but like maybe speed things along.

Sure. What do you want to do for dinner tonight?

Do you want to go bungee jumping? Oh, you keep suggesting that. I'd prefer we stay home and look at the stars. I actually bought a constellation for you. I named it Gladys. Oh, okay.

That's for me? What did I say my name was? Gladys. That's right. My name's Gladys. Night in the Pips. You said your name is Gladys?

Nineteen of Pips.

Nineteen of Pips, yes. Okay. Well, yeah, we could look at the constellation, but wouldn't it be more fun to touch a star?

Ooh, you want to go to space? I can call Elon.

No, I don't necessarily want to go to space, I just want to simulate that experience. So here's what I'll do. I'll turn the oven as hot as it gets, and then you can sit as close to it as possible, and then we'll get the experience of being next to a star.

Did I ever tell you my good friend Sylvia Plath died that way? How old are you? Well, when I knew Sylvia, she was about 65. I just a few years ago watched Virginia Woolf drown herself. Oh boy. Stones in the pocket walked into the ocean. This timeline. You know what? A good friend of mine used to say, let them eat cake. So I got us a cake. And of course I won't be partaking because of blood sugar. You won't just fuck for nine hours? Yeah. Fuck my butler for nine hours. And I'll sit in this throne and watch. Okay, hold on now.

Wait.

Is Richard Butler? If you look good. Sorry, my ringtone just went off. It sounds like me having a heart attack.

Put your phone on silent. You didn't even notice it. We're at dinner. Put your phone on silent. I don't know how to do it.

It's the button on the side. I have a dial phone. Do I leave it on the handle, off the handle? That's a bar of soap. That's not a dial phone. You know my number is two. See?

I was never going to call that.

My plan was to see if that was a 40 minute... We could have seen that. We could have seen that forever.

Anybody else who want to update each other?

I don't think that any one of us will ever be rich, I'm sorry to say. Yeah, I don't think so either. What could Sean do to strike it rich? Well, he'd have to like invent something. I think there's something you want to say, but you're not going to say it.

Yeah, he's hot on my face.

I think Sean could be rich.

Yeah, also Sean, so he had a job where he was making an insane amount of money. For the first like four years he was living in Chicago and then he quit to pursue comedy full-time. How's that working out? Great, pretty good. I'm just joking. Damn dude.

Brutal. I'm just playing my family.

You know when you say something really brutal and shitty and then you say, I'm just joking. I'm just joking.

My boyfriend was so... Erin, your hair looks great. Well, thanks. I'm just joking. We were friends way before we were dating, so I was friends with him when he was so rich, and he would just order $80 worth of sushi when he was drunk, and he would just buy all of our drinks, and he bought this really nice TV. He was just like, what rich people do, which is buy nice stuff and treat themselves. And now he's... I started dating him right when he quit his job.

I think that there's a difference between rich and unhealthy spitting happens.

True. But it didn't make an impact at all. Or like one time he... Yeah, I'm credit card rich.

One time he...

His parents gave him and his siblings tickets to Hamilton for Christmas and they went out to dinner before and they were so excited and they looked at the tickets and it was for the night before. And he knew he had let his siblings down so much and so he just bought ticket day of to Hamilton.

Was the dinner for the night before too? What if I ask questions?

What if I ask questions like a stupid person would ask? So we served the table the entrees. No one was there, but that's not our fault.

He's very good with money. I think John will be incredibly crazy person rich because he's just like so smart and savvy that way.

And then JPC will have to eat him.

Or marry him and then wait for him to die.

There would be a good chance of me being rich if I didn't keep on giving all my money to Bernie Sanders. No, you give your bunny two birds.

Who go to Burning Man?

Dude, look at that crane. You give your bunny to a sand crane.

Okay, I have to see a sand crane. I'm sorry, we will do riddles, but you are two birds at Burning Man.

Well, you also have to be in this.

All right, I'll maybe walk on.

Yeah, fly on. It'll be a fly on.

Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! So, you wanna barter? Uh, Squawk, uh, what do, what I barter for, Squawk? Or whatever, I have food here, I have some... Oh, I'm sorry? Thai fusion. Thai fusion? Squawk? What's it fused with, Squawk? CBD? Squawk? That doesn't feel like CBD is not a cuisine, Squawk. Is it fusion? Doesn't that belay that it's... I'm gonna ask you this one time, are you a fucking cop, Squawk? You a fucking cop, Squawk? Squawk? Squawk? Squawk? You have to tell me if you're a Squawk? Shit, is that a, was that you squawking or your walkie-talkie squawking? Hey dude, do you see those two birds over there talking to each other? No, look, look up. You're looking at your feet. Look up from your feet.

Hey, dude, do you see Jared Leto looking up into the sky and falling over?

Holy shit. Wait, no, I'm looking at my feet. Those are my feet. What? Wait, no, that is Jared Leto.

What?

What's Jared Leto doing up here? Do you say what's Jay Leno doing up here? We should do riddles.

This is a riddle podcast. I'm sorry, but sometimes I just enjoy these people. This one's from Robert. Longtime listener, love the show. Here's a riddle I thought up.

Yeah, you love the show. You a long time listener. Tell me one thing I don't know about myself.

Guy can't say it. Ready?

We should say Erin is old.

Her face just as it is. Man puzzles.

Erin is rapidly aging. True though. What cup did you drink from? The carpet just fell.

I told this to Adal, but I was getting really bad migraines and my doctor told me to get Botox. So I got Botox for the first time and now my face looks weird.

What does that mean? In your face? Your doctor was like, do Botox in your face for migraines?

Because I had a habitual, but also just like my muscles were super tense on my head. Oh, was it an attention thing? Yeah, it was giving me really, really bad.

Where do they put it in your forehead?

No, not my forehead.

Your cheeks?

Ridge of your nose? In my butt?

Ridge of your nose? Crack of the bat?

It's baseball season! They put it just in one tiny spot in between my eyebrows and now my face looks weird.

I don't think your face looks weird. I do think that one tiny spot looks fucked up.

When Erin told me that we were at the diggy bar, she also told me that she got her legs rotated and her tits undone. Which made me laugh for 10 minutes.

Well, I was at a bar. I was fun, Erin.

I went to the doctor because I was having stomach pains and he reversed my ass.

Okay, this is the riddle from Robert. Thank you, Robert. Born from the earth, tempered by heat, we bear many treasures and often a treat. You can rack us and crack us will break.

Eggs, witness.

But if a home goes without us, no meal shall they make.

Wood. Coal. Eggs. It's got to be coal.

Born from the earth.

Because the treasure you can make with it, you grab a, you see the whole grab a piece of coal, crushes it, turns into a diamond.

This is actually a great riddle, I think.

Wait, born from the earth.

Tempered by heat.

Glass.

We bear many treasures and often a treat. You can rack us and stack us and crack us.

Gorons.

We'll break. But if a home goes without us, no meal shall they make.

What comes from an earth that we eat? Carrots? Is it a vegetable? Is it a vegetable? Fruit? Wait, watermelon, right?

It's not something you can eat.

It's probably watermelon again.

It's not something I can eat?

I dare you to find me something I can't eat. I can't stress this enough. It's not coal.

No, it's not coal. Oh, we had a cold. Born from the earth, tempered by heat, we bear many treasures and often a treat. You can rack us and stack us and crack us will break. But if a home goes without us, no meals shall they make.

Bones. Bones. Witches cook on bones. Famously, cauldron of bones.

Not bones. So my voice sounds a little bit like a woman at the beginning of a movie, like a fairy tale. Let's hear it again. Born from the earth, tempered by heat, we bear many treasures in authentic treat. You can rack us and stack us and crack us, we'll break. But if a home goes without us, no meal shall they make. And then the music starts and we zoom over the map.

Harold and Kumar get to White Castle.

You can't do better than me.

I can read that riddle better than you.

No you can't.

With widgets and wachits and bones and boobies and boobie voice and a little... This is the Lorax again. I can do it better. I can do it better.

Ding dong.

Hello?

Pizza delivery. That's your dick.

It's like the Lorax again.

You order one piece of sausage, extra small.

Hi Riddle Riddle. That iron is such a good example of though.

In order to cook you need wood or coal or gas.

I don't think you need to cook with it.

It says you can't eat plates. Is it plates? Oh tectonic plates.

Plates! A plate.

A plate from the earth.

Born from the earth, tempered by heat, we bear many treasures and often a treat. You can rack us and stack us.

You can stack plates.

And crack us will break. Oh, I heard rocking the sock on. Who goes with the houtas no meal shall they make?

Dude, it's a double entendre. Thank you Robert.

We really appreciate you listening and sending in your original riddle that he wrote in the store.

We should probably also say thank you. Thank you, Robert. Thank you, boys, for your riddle you wrote in the store. Thank you, Uncle Robert. Thank you for the bike, Uncle Robert.

Thank you for the riddle, Uncle Robert.

Now go clean your room. No, don't.

A bag of dicks. Robert fucking sucks. That's why your wife left you.

Yeah, where's Aunt Carol, Uncle Robert? Yeah, where's Aunt Carol? Oh wait, what if this guy actually has been divorced? We should probably... I'm so sorry. Yeah, I'm so sorry, man. We get what you're going through and stuff. It's not about that for everybody, you're gonna find love again. Yeah, that's right.

If you write to Riddle to get over her, all of a sudden we're talking about Carol.

Yeah, we've written Carol. That's probably her name. Suddenly she's a big part of our life. Yeah.

You put into the riddle, you can't eat a meal. That's not part of the riddle, but you just haven't been able to stomach any food, so you've been sucking down.

You're eating lean cuisines in your apartment. I'm fucking out with Carol. I'm driving around in my Dodge Durango with your ex-wife, my man. I know that's gonna burn. I know it's gonna burn.

I just wanted you to say thank you. I think we did. Rewind a minute. We just needed to show our gratitude to a great listener.

Thank you.

Snake.

Okay. Thank you so much, Robert.

This one is from Sierra.

Nevada?

Myst? This one's from Sierra Myst. I'm not sure if you've done this one yet, but I have only just started, so here it goes.

Did you screen these?

Yes, I did. You screened these, Erin? Yes, I did.

And this one's good? Because this person said they've only just started. And we're on episode 68.

How about I read it, and if you hate it, I'll

Guess what?

Give all my money to birds.

I get to pick the bird.

No, no. If you give my money to a big bird, I swear to God.

I get to pick the birds.

That big bird knows what he did.

It is through bird of mouth.

And it's a bird's who clean crocodile's mouth.

And bird of mouth is just when you stick your mouth down somebody else's mouth and scream into their throat correctly so they get all the nutrients. Wait, sex?

Oh, I'm going to go take my bath. Okay.

So that's why Mariah's always crying.

One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat. And it's night with a, yeah.

Wait, just read the Riddle.

Okay, you're right. One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat. When they crossed the river, five folks got out. How is this possible?

River sticks, demons.

Demon sticks.

One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into the boat.

I think you're supposed to read it as, one night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat. Yeah, I think we both got it because of the flat way you read it.

All right, can we redo it?

Yeah, we do it. Read it the right way.

And then play with it. We're actually gonna cut this out.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Read it like a movie narrator. Read it like a movie narrator.

No, I won't do it unless you promise we'll cut this out.

J.P.

and I have riddles to, you know?

K.C., K.C., seriously, K.C., please, cut this out. Seriously, K.C., on your mindset.

Let's do a good spot.

One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat.

Yeah, we know it, we know it.

The night is called with a cane. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. Hold on, hold on. Let's all take a shot at reading it. What is the one? It's one night.

I blew it. It's one night, two people, a man and a woman.

Here's how I'd read it. One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat and they sailed across. I hate this.

Clank, clank, clank. King Arthur, let's get into the boat.

Oh yes, King Arthur, let's get into the boat.

I'm the queen.

Ding dong.

We've never done this one. That's what's important. One night, two people, a man and a woman, got into a boat.

That's good. Yeah, that's good. Okay.

One night... Two people, a man and woman, got into a boat. When they crossed the river, five folks got out. How is that possible? Tell me how it's possible.

Tonight with the K, there's also two people, there's also a man and woman. That's five people total. Five people total. And plus the boatman. The boatman. Sharon.

What's this thing? Sharon. Sharon. Saruman's little brother. From the river Styx, my man.

I would like to see a sea.

Is that not the boatman's name in the River Styx? I have no idea. Yeah.

Charman? He's a Pokemon?

Charman?

Charman Bear? Yeah, it's a Charman Bear. Charman Bear? No, his weapon is brought up against that tree.

Taking you to death. To poop.

When I die, if I show up and it's the Charman Bear, I'm immediately going to be like, Hell. Hell. I know, right out of the gate. What mascot would you think? Oh, this is Heaven.

What's the Snuggles Downey Bear or whatever? Do you remember that?

That little bear. That little Snuggles Bear is Heaven?

I think he's a little sinister. Wait, Snuggles is Hell? Yeah, and he speaks with like the scream voice. What's heaven? What mascot is heaven? Grimace and he's like... Grimace is heaven? Yeah. Because he's silent. He's like a monk, right? Yeah. Does he talk? No. I think he says Robble-Robble. Yes. The Hamburglar says Robble-Robble. Grimace says Robble-Robble. And then there's Ronald McDonald who says... Wobble-Wobble.

And then Van Halen of course says, welcome to the jungle. If it's hell, I know it because it's the Hamburglar and he's getting his nipples ripped off. Great, I want to see a scene.

Hold on, hold on.

But if it's heaven, it's the Hamburglar and he's getting his nipples ripped on. People just rip it on his nipples.

I was about to say, JPG is about to say the hamburger is awesome. I knew it. I knew it.

I was thinking to myself, this could be heaven or this could be hell.

I think those Coca-Cola bears are heaven.

Oh, the polar bears?

Yeah.

Okay. I think the hamburger helper glove is hell. Is it a fist?

You are, that's the truest thing you've ever said.

And he goes, let me get more comfortable, and he unzips his glove and just spiders come out.

But also, in hell, he's human sized. He's not the size of a hand. Oh my gosh, we made a hamburger helper joke. I think that we made a joke about the hamburger helper.

We made a joke about, or you made a joke about wanting to marry him.

That's ridiculous.

And we got some fanart of you marrying the hamburger. But I think when he unzips his glove, it's just meat falls out, right? Raw meat? Yeah. Well, so wait, he's the helper? He helps the hamburger. Well, he's the hamburger. Yeah. Well, the hamburger helps him to live.

What's the scene that you wanted?

I want to see a scene. Erin, you've died and this is not canon. I love you and I would wish nothing ill towards you. But I go to hell. But you did go to hell and the way you know it is because of who presents himself.

Okay, I'm in an elevator.

And JPC will play that entity.

Can't quite know if I'm going up and down.

Going down.

Okay, it sort of sounds like that dog. Oh, I hate ping pong. I hate ping pong. I'm so bad at ping pong. Oh shoot, shit, shit. Okay, I'm thinking how. I'm thinking this must be how.

Final destination. Please get off the elevator.

Okay, I hate those movies.

And please take your copy of Final Destination.

DVD. There's not even a DVD in here.

It's actually a laserdisc.

And it's for season three, disc one of Will and Grace. What's going on?

And a platform raises and a shadowy figure steps forward.

Oh, I'm sorry. It was Dharma and Greg. Hello. Step out of the shadows. I can't quite see you.

It's all shadows here. Do you see my visage?

No, I can't quite tell who you are yet by voice or look.

Well, voice is being also obscured by shadows so that you can make a determination. Tell me what you see, child.

Tell me who you are.

Tell me something, girl. Are you sick of all this crazy hell?

Are you Bradley Cooper?

I'm Bradley Cooper! Welcome to hell. I am the devil. You're getting poked with sticks.

I thought you were great in wedding presents. I would have put $10 down that you were going to be Paul Walker. Money well spent.

So many people win this Lady Gaga for their Halloween costumes. Really?

Yeah.

I'm all over Twitter. Lady Gaga.

Okay. I blew that one. This one's from Jamie. Jamie's from Jolly Old England.

Sounds like me after a party in high school.

Jolly Old England.

I blew that one. Wait, you after a party, you blew that one?

No. You had a second fuck party? Alright, second fuck party of one. Second fuck party of one? Hold on, this is in depth of a come town. Calm down. There's gotta be zero percent crossover between our listenership and the listenership of...

Are we ready?

Yes. We're ready.

This is from Jamie. Sweet Jamie.

It's from Sweet Jamie?

Yeah. Sweet Jamie. Sweet. From John Jamie. So they sort of did a, they created their different kind of brand of riddles. This feels a little bit like a Sandy segment.

Wait, are we going to do branded riddles?

Yes. These riddles are for brandy. Also I think we should get branded with a thing that says riddles.

We should get what?

Branded.

Oh, branded tattoos?

Yeah, like tattoos.

So that if we wander off, people know where to sell our beef. Tell me something.

This is making me laugh. Okay. That was really funny. Sometimes you just got to slow down and laugh at the funny things they're saying. I think we should get riddles written on our foot, but in that Andy handwriting, like the toys have in Toy Story.

Can we get a group Hey Riddle Riddle tattoo?

I would.

So who would get the hey, who would get the riddle, who would get the riddle?

I want hey.

Fuck. Damn it. You want hey?

You want hey tattooed on your body? Like people, I'll be like on a date with a guy and he'll be like, is that, do you have hey on you? And I go, yeah, it's not about any podcast, it's just like a funny thing.

Oh no, I was saying, do you have hay on you? You're covered in hay. Are you in a barn? Were you raised in a barn?

No, my name is Needle. And I was just in a haystack.

And she's stacked hay.

So this is its own thing, and this is how it works.

Wait, would we really get a group root tattoo?

Yeah, but I don't think it would just say here, Riddle Riddle. No, I'm not the holdout. Would you get one? I'd get it if it was stupid.

I'd get it if it was small and stupid.

Thank you. Okay.

Small and stupid? Yeah, but also I don't want it to be my first tattoo. I have to get another tattoo in January, which I'm going to, and then after that I will.

You have to get another tattoo?

I'm getting my first tattoo in January. Or if you're mom, if you're my mom, I'm not. If you're mom. I'm definitely not. Hey mom, I'm not getting a tattoo. This is like a joke.

Hypothetically as a joke, what would your tattoo be that you're getting in January?

Um, the number for my address of the house that I'm moving out of right now.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's right. I think you mentioned that.

Yeah, in my hypothetical roommate's handwriting.

And you motioned along the lower back?

No, I was motioning to my butthole. No. Basically, you have a mashed up movie title, you give a new blended synopsis for said movie, and the guessers have to guess the title.

What if we don't want to do it? Can we get an example? Then Jamie says, for example.

In 2035, Will Smith answers a village's request for protection after he falls on hard times. The town needs protection from androids, so Will Smith gathers six others to help him teach the people how to defend themselves. It's a mashup of two... I robot samurai?

I robot... bottle rocket. I row...

No, you got, you had the two movies. It's iRobot. Yeah, and?

Seven Samurai.

Yeah.

Oh, I got it.

Yeah, but you have to say the title.

That's what I said, iRobot Samurai.

No, but it has, it makes sense. They like bash them.

Seven robots.

They mash up with the sounds.

In what thin diagram does iRobot and Seven Samurai connect?

What is the sound that Samurai ends with?

Seven Samurai Robot. I got it. I want to apologize to Erin. I want to apologize to Jamie.

Jamie's from England.

Jamie's got a pun. Oh, that's why Jamie got it wrong, because it was on the other side of the street.

Jamie is over.

Did you guys hear me saying Jamie's got a pun? Yeah.

Yeah.

Was that a pun? Yeah. It's a pun man too.

So I have four rounds and a tiebreaker prepared below. But if you think they're a bit shit, feel free to make up your own.

That's such a British thing to say.

I love Jamie.

If it's a bit shit.

Love what you guys do, keep up the good work.

Thank you, Jamie. Four rounds in a tiebreaker. Sounds like a Mia for a party in high school. Snog off, JPC.

Ooh.

What could that mean?

I'm getting more and more curious about these high school parties that you run.

I didn't go to much. Didn't go to many.

Are we ready for round one? Yes. Let's make this like a fun game. So like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Diamonds on the solar sheet. Them on Sesame Street? Have you ever heard them on Sesame Street? Lady Gaga? Lady Gaga. This was like decades ago. They did a song with Ernie singing the alphabet. They did the alphabet with Ernie and it's like the most lovely song. Anyways.

I just learned the other day that the alphabet song is just Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Twinkle Twinkle A B C.

X, Y, V, I, V, B, C. That just goes to show you all good ideas have already been done. Even Alphabet Song stole. Yeah, so read these original riddles.

Okay, sorry. Round one. When the Joker unleashes zombies on Gotham City, our caped crusader barricades himself in a rural house trying to survive until dawn.

You had a buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Oh, I know it. I know it. Wait, no, I don't. Oh, wait. Oh, God. Boy.

So it's the dark night. No, it's not The Dark Knight. It is The Dark Knight. I know the other ones.

You had a buzz.

It's The Dark Knight and Shaun of the Dead? No. No. What's the other one?

When the Joker unleashes zombies on Gotham City, our caped crusader barricades himself in a royal house trying to survive until dawn. So think of like a word, like if you only have one of them, you can maybe figure out the other one based on the sounds.

One of them is The Dark Knight and the other one is a zombie survival movie, right? So many days later.

But it has some sort of sound or words in the first title.

Is that? Are we counting that? Is that in there?

Yeah, but that's just the beginning. It doesn't matter.

Okay. What's the one you have? I don't think that's right. So people barricade themselves in a house. The Dark Knight of the Living Dead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Buzz.

JPC won round one. JPC is from North Dakota.

I'm so you didn't let me finish. Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof. Thank you. I'm from North Dakota.

So we're just getting to know our contestants. JBC is from North Dakota. He collects keychains. JBC, want to tell us anything else about your life?

Yeah, I'm from North Dakota.

I'm from Argo, North Dakota, which is short for Argo fuck yourself. I love Ben Affleck movies. I collect, I'm sorry, I don't collect keychains. I collect keychains. Fobs, which are essentially key chains, but they're for sobs, which is a car that they don't make anymore, but not because it was bad because nobody bought it.

And JBC, do you have any family members in the audience tonight?

No.

What the fuck?

There is my ex-stepdad Rick is here tonight. Rick rules. Yeah, Rick rules. He was married to my mom for a very brief amount of time.

Six months.

It was not six months. It was 28 days later. But they're divorced now. He still supports me. He's a bad guy. Worst voice.

And that was JPC. JPC, we're so happy to have you on the show tonight. Adal, I think you can do a little bit better in round two. Make sure to get up to your buzzers. George Bailey gets stuck in a lifeboat in the ocean. Just when he thinks he should just give up, he is visited by a tiger who shows him what the world would be like without him.

It's a wonderful life of pie.

He didn't buzz.

Buzz.

It's a wonderful life of pie. The moon, Mary.

The moon. Give her the moon.

Give her the moon, Mary. Oh, in the car. Wait. What should I do? The bit or a story?

Well, the bit's so good.

Adal, it seems like you won round two. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Well, when you introduced JPC, you gave him at least three gifts.

Okay, here we go. Adal grew up on an island in the middle of the ocean, the Atlantic Ocean. No one knows about this island.

The Atlanta Ocean.

The Atlanta Ocean, he collects key changes. And his cat, where's the top hat? Adal Zalo.

Hello.

And tell us a little bit more about yourself, Adal.

Yes, I collect key changes, which means I collect mermaids voices in a jar. A lot of key changes going on with other voices. I call water sauce just because it's kind of fun to do. At parties, I'm a total fucking nightmare. My dog is named Lampshade and he is dead three years now.

Adal, do you have any family members in the audience tonight?

A lampshade's corpse is here and also my stepdad, Gary, give it up.

Yeah! Gary! Gary! Gary!

Gary is my current stepdad. My mother is dead, but I live with Gary, and Gary is obnoxious but supportive.

240 pounds!

What's Gary like at parties?

I couldn't get him a comp for the show. He had to buy a ticket, so he paid in British sterling, and he paid 240 pounds.

Rich!

He's got fuck you money.

So he's the worst at parties. All right, we are in a jet. Stop.

Lock side.

All right, round three. Charismatic magician Atlas leads a team of talented illusionists out of Vietnam as they head upriver to terminate a once promising conjure. Who has reportedly gone mad. Conjurer. What the fuck? Conjurer. Promising Conjurer, sorry. It's a group of- Charismatic.

A magician named Atlas. A magician named Atlas.

Leads a team of talented illusionists out of Vietnam as they head upriver to terminate a once promising conjurer who has reportedly gone mad.

I think I know one of the movies, but I don't know which movie has a magician named Atlas. And I was going to guess the illusionist, but you said something about a notorious illusionist or something. Yeah, that's not the illusionist. So I don't think they put that into the title.

It's also, it's not that, oh god, what's that? The prestige? No, no, no. The one with the magicians that steal like a bank or whatever. What's that? Now you see.

Did you hear that those people stole the bank? They picked it up and rolled it out of town. They took it.

They took the whole bank. Now you see me, where's the bank? Fuck. I don't know this movie.

I cannot believe that just happened.

Is this a movie we should know? Now you see me? Is it now you see me? Oh it is.

That was insane. You said the name of the movie.

Now you see me, now you don't. Now you see me. Okay, so the movie I was thinking is not correct.

Finding Nemo, what is the name of that movie?

That's what you just said. And now you see me, they're not, oh, the blend is that they're going to kill someone?

Wait, wait. Bridge over the river Kwai, you see me, now you don't?

No.

Say it one more time.

Charismatic magician Atlas leads a team of talented illusionists out of Vietnam as they head upriver to terminate a once promising conjurer who has reportedly gone mad.

Casey. Oh, I know this. What? Buzz. Apocalypse now you see me now you don't.

Yeah. Apocalypse now you see me. And Adal takes the lead. Let's check in with his stepdad. Stepdad.

I'm drunk.

Awful what? I drank my own pills. What's the alcohol content in that? Pretty good. All right. Round four.

I do want to say, do we have time for a quick scene? Of course we do. Also, I haven't been buzzing because there's a spider on my buzzer.

Spider is the buzzer.

That's not true. There's a spider on my buzzer. Buzz Lightyear. No, that's the other guy. Woody Allen. Sorry, it's Woody Allen.

The other guy!

The other guy! There's a snake in my boot.

Oh boy.

You got a friend knee. This is good content, right? I want to see a scene and then we're probably going to go to break. I want to see a scene. I think we're well beyond a break. JBC, you're a magician and Erin, you are a... Fine, let's just take a break then. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back.

We're like 40 minutes in. We totally forgot to take a break.

Hey, you guys know on our famous Patreon episodes how we like to do, sometimes we like to do Buzzfeed quizzes.

Ooh, yeah.

Yeah, we've done those on Patreon episodes before. What if, what if I do something very fun right now and I give you a little quiz, but it's not a Buzzfeed quiz, it is a sleep quiz.

Ooh, to see which Riddle we are.

That's one of the results, but basically, my good friends at Helix Sleep, they built this sleep quiz. It takes two minutes to complete. Who are your friends at Helix Sleep? Jerry. Name one. Jerry. Oh. Jerry Helix. You know Jerry Helix? Don Sleep.

He's so nice. And Don Sleep.

I know Don Sleep.

They're so cool.

Anyway, Jerry and Don, they sent me the sleep quiz. What it does is they use the answers to match your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress. Do you know Karen Zeez? Uh, Karen actually got a divorce.

Okay, well hold on though.

Yes?

What if I'm in a couple? What do I do?

Erin, is that gonna be an issue for you?

I don't know. If I- I don't know.

Did you say you're in a couple versus a relationship?

I'm single.

I got a couple of questions for you. You know what, Erin, even if you are in a couple, Helix Sleep can split the mattress right down the middle, providing individual support needs and field preferences for each side of that couple. Plus, they have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it for 100 nights absolutely risk-free. Holy smokes. Yes, it's holy and smoking.

One more, and that's almost Arabian number level of nights.

Okay, I'm not going to comment on that, but you can because of your background. Just go to helixsleep.com slash riddle, take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they will match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life.

Wait, wait, wait. Helix.com slash riddle, and you're saying that... Nope.

Helixsleep.com slash riddle.

Helixsleep.com slash riddle. You're saying helixsleep.com slash riddle. Not what I said earlier. No, no, no. Not what you said earlier. So helixsleep.com slash riddle, and Erin... Helixsleep.com slash riddle. Erin, you usually sleep during podcast episodes. Now you can get a mattress and sleep like a human. Not only that, Erin.

I thought you didn't notice.

We've noticed. We all noticed. We all everything else. But if you go to helixsleep.com slash Riddle, that's R-I-D-D-L-E, you can get up to $125 off a mattress. And Erin, for you who sleeps during the show, you're like, it's like you're getting paid to sleep.

Oh my goodness.

We pay you $25 an episode, so you just have to come up, scrounge up a hundred more dollars.

And that's how much you get off.

Amazing.

So if you want to get off on a great mattress, hold on, there's got to be a better way to say that. Nope, that's the perfect way. Go to helixsleep.com slash Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E.

Hey, Erin. Hey, wake up.

Okay, I'm up.

JPC and I wrote some riddles for you. Okay, I'm ready. We know that it's your birthday. You can also tell it's an ad because we start with one of us asleep.

I know, it's an ad.

Your birthday is this Sunday 1110, so we have some riddles for you.

I'm ready.

What do your childhood pet's name, your birthday, and a random symbol have in common?

They're all in my password? Damn, got it.

Okay, what looks like a password, but shouldn't? My password. What gets harder to use the more you use it?

For me, the internet.

Okay, well that works as well.

Okay, but what force and hackers can't get through, I, with a single click, can do? What am I?

You gotta be Dashlane.

Yes, I am.

I'm Dashlane. I'm crushing these riddles.

We're all Dashlane.

Wait, you know about Dashlane? Oh my gosh. Do I know about Dashlane? JPC, what do you think? What would you consider one of your biggest pet peeves about me? Is it how often I text you to ask you what the password for something is?

Yeah, you do text me a lot and I'll tell you right. I don't know. Can I just say real quick how fun it would be to name a pet peeves. Oh. Sorry, back to the ad.

Okay, yeah.

Because you could say, this is my pet peeves. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Pet peeves is a good name, a good password. Go ahead.

But what is Dashlane? You tell me. Oh, OK. Well, Dashlane makes everything that you do online easier. It fills your forms fast, remembers all of your passwords, and keeps your online data accessible and safe with an all-in-one app.

Well, as I know it, Dashlane safely remembers and auto-fills all your login information so you won't get slowed down by forgotten or misspelled passwords.

And I am the worst at that. I forget every password every day, always.

Most of my adult life is changing passwords. My adult life. My adult life. And it works across devices. So you can access your accounts no matter what computer, phone, a smart book you're using.

And not only that, but you don't have to hunt for your credit card. It can store payment details, addresses, and all of that stuff. So you can make checking out from online retailers, eight dash. Oh, dash lane. I get it now. Okay. Okay.

Safely share your passwords with friends and family and share your Netflix login with your roommate's boyfriend and generate a new one when they break up.

Thank you for being a realistic Dashline. We don't endorse sharing the Netflix password. I mean, we don't do that.

But share other passwords. Do you have a group Facebook? HBO for sure.

HBO, you could totally do Disney+, do it. But Netflix, come on. With a reason, people. But if you want to start dashing through the internet and help support our show, just visit www.dashlane.com slash riddle and start your 30 day free trial of Dashlane.

Again?

It's dashlane.com slash riddle. There is no credit card required. And if you like it, use the code RIDDL at checkout and save 20% off your premium subscription.

Seriously, we love it. And I need it.

Yeah. And also just for this ad, I bought some reindeer. So let me get through this bit. On Dashlane and I just bought the one right now. I think it's dead. Dashlane.com slash Riddle.

And scene.

And we're back and we're going to go straight into a scene. No, actually we saw the scene during the break, didn't we?

No!

Yeah, we did. We saw the scene during the break. And it was great. Maybe our best scene ever.

I would like to do it again.

As is always the case on this show, you could always request any scene that we do to be done again, but worse. We will always acquiesce to that request.

Okay. Well, you know what? Then I want to see a scene. So in episode three or four of our show, we did a scene where JBC, you were my dad. I was a little boy at the circus and Adal, you were a sword swallower who was about to get killed from being tickled.

Okay. And we're doing that same scene, but worse?

Same scene, but worse.

And this is from over a year ago.

Yes, but even this was from April of 2018. This is when we recorded this episode.

So somebody's listening for the first time. They are chucking their phone into a river. Yes. Great.

Okay. Daddy, daddy, daddy. No, I'm the little boy. I know. I'm drinking swords. Okay, hold on. I named you daddy.

I'm going, and I'm the... He's got a gun. And I'm the father. You have agency.

Go kill that man. I'm the father. I named you daddy. Can somebody ask for an agent?

Hello, I'm with CAA and I represent... Carl!

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

Yes, I represent all the birds in Burning Man.

Does this happen to you? You start to do a scene, and then all of a sudden, all heck breaks loose. Well, I'm Bradley Cooper, and I'm the devil.

Say it. I think we did a bad job.

Well, we promised it would be worse.

We promised it would be bad. You can't get mad.

We could have at least made it.

Sure, we could have, but did you want to risk it being better than the original? Why try? When you try, you put yourself out there.

I would have been fine with it being better than the original. Vulnerability sucks. That would have been one of the funniest things we've ever done if we had done a way funnier scene.

If that had been a funnier scene than the original.

Luckily we don't have to worry about that. Okay.

Is there one more?

Oh, there's two more.

No.

No, yes, because there's a bonus round.

There's round four and then there's a tiebreaker.

Yeah, two more.

Okay, that's two more. But we might not need it if Adal gets this one.

You tricked me. I know, but we're still gonna do the typewriter. Nick Cage, Don's, oh wait.

We can put in music.

This is the music we put in. This is the music we put in. What are we talking about? We actually can't now.

Because we have music already.

I haven't been making any noise. That's the music Casey found and put in. Don't fucking put this on Casey.

It's like if somebody drowned who wants to be a millionaire in music. And it washed up on shore, bloated, and they resuscitated it, and that was its death rattle.

Anytime you hear music in any of these episodes, even if it's just us, what sounds like us being jackasses, that's Casey doing hard work. Casey had a guitar riffed after I just said that.

Adal, that was the most specific insult anyone's ever thrown at me. I can't believe it.

You know the sword swallowing scene we just redid, Casey? Can you take that out and put it in a worst scene? Thank you.

Remember how we killed that scene when you did such a good job?

Casey put in gunshots.

Blam!

Blam!

Nick Cage dons a black suit and travels to a secluded island in search of a missing girl. Once there, he proceeds to kick the shit out of every man, woman and bee, that gets in his way.

Oh, I know this one.

You better pause, pause, pause.

Yeah. Do you want to steal? Do you know it? I know one of them. I don't know the other one. The movie is the John Wicker Man. John Wicker Man.

A movie I would never see if you gave me a billion, a trillion dollars.

Wait, which one? John Wicker or the Wicker Man? John Wicker Man's fantastic. The Wicker Man's actually really good too. The new one? What's that? The Nicolas Cage one? The new one. Is there an older one? Mm-hmm. That's a remake? It's like a 60s horror film. Oh, yeah. No, it's just prime Cage. Like, he is fantastically Cage in it.

I do want to see a scene. He's a terrible actor. Yep. This is a movie called Fantastically Cage. JPC, you're playing Nicolas Cage, Erin, you're playing a bee, and you're on a first date.

I hope you're not allergic to anything.

Just kidding because you're a bee. I actually am allergic to bee teeth. You are? One time I put my sneakers on and there was bee in my sneakers and I stepped on it and it died and it was also my husband. That's why I'm on this date.

You're asking me. Do you freaking believe that you are allergic to what you are?

Are you bankrupt? What's your deal financially, right?

It's pretty bleak. I'm a copula.

I have a question. Are we gonna have sex tonight? By stinging you once I die immediately, but I do have a question. Sure. About the movie Face Off, how did you get into character as John Travolta when John Travolta was assuming in your body?

I knew the minute I did my Travolta, I'm like three seconds until JPC calls me.

The amount of energy I saw JPC exude.

Watching you, I wish we had a video of this, watching you try and find Nicolas Cage's voice, giving up, and playing the human incarnation of an electric guitar.

So that wasn't even JVC, that sounds like Casey Adams.

That sounds Casey put into the episode. But I love that you just gave up and you're like, I don't know, I'll just be like, if an electric guitar became human... You do a better Nicolas Cage. What? Okay. Is anybody going to eat these breadsticks?

I'm just doing, I'm just doing Andy Sandberg doing the Nicolas Cage. Yeah. Well, imitation is the palest form of flattery. The palest? The palest ale of Sean. Erin, can we do this tiebreaker? It can't be worth three points. Thank you.

We have to steal the Declaration of Independence. I'm Nicolas Cage. Face off. Sandy?

Hey look, I'm raising Arizona. Put the bunny back in the box. Why couldn't you just put the bunny down? That's pretty good.

This movie tells- You've got mail. Come on.

Erin quit using Bing.

This movie tells the story of an aspiring actress and a towering kaiju from the depths of the ocean who are struggling to make ends meet in the city known for crushing hopes and breaking hearts.

Buzz, South Pacific Rim.

No, but you've made up another one.

Yeah, I don't know what the first one is.

I know it's Pacific Rim.

No, it's not.

No? It's not Pacific Rim. And it has to do with Kaiju?

This movie tells the story of an aspiring actress and a towering Kaiju from the depths of the ocean who are struggling to make ends meet in a city known for their crushing hopes and breaking heart.

Buzz?

Yes.

La La Land before time. La La Land of... You got one of them.

La La Land second. Do you know? You know.

La La Land is second?

Mm-hmm.

Moth, Ra La Land. And it's not Pacific. What? Buzz.

What?

Godzilla La La Land.

Yeah!

Oh, is Kaiju like a term that is applied for any sea monster? Oh, interesting. Okay. I believe so. I don't want to speak with authority. Okay. But I have this badge.

Okay, I want to see a scene. Adal, you're a college professor, but you don't want to speak. You don't want to claim you know anything.

You want me to do a scene where I don't want to speak?

No, you don't want to like... Okay, no doubt. No, no.

Casey?

You don't want to speak from authority. You're just like, maybe this is true.

Yeah. Any specific course?

GBC picked the course.

You're the student in there. Great.

You're the student in there.

Why don't you both be a student? Great. Welcome to 140 Desserts. You're the only two that signed up, but we are in this embarrassingly large auditorium. My name is Professor Flahn. No reaction. Huh? No reaction. Yeah, no relation. You're right. No relation to the dessert. I did not come up with Flahn. That would be my dad. Mr. Flahn. He also came up with Flahn Bay, which is a way to Cook a Think.

I don't want to cough sound that Casey will add later.

Coffee sounds great. I don't want to speak from any place of authority, but I've eaten dessert. Who here has eaten desserts? Raise your hand. I raise my hand. Okay. What desserts have you eaten? What's that? Give me a dessert and I'll give you the history of that dessert. Chicken Cordon Bleu. Chicken Cordon Bleu, great example. So sometimes people are crazy and eat something savory for desserts. Now, Chicken Cordon Bleu, correct me if I'm wrong, which I probably am. Cordon Bleu is of course, do you know Corbin Burnson? I met Tarim Miso. Yes. I got him confused. Terence Meensu. Yes, Terence Meensu is a French pastry chef. Yes. I believe he created the... Chicken Cordon Bleu. I gotta be honest. I had a question about a dessert. I graduated. Couldn't get a job anywhere. They said they'd take me on. They said I could teach whatever I wanted. I was eating a box of pie that I was gonna put a gun in my mouth and I decided... You were eating a box of pie?

Uncooked box of pie.

Uncooked box of pie.

Well, I have a question about a dessert.

Okay.

What about 7-Eleven Slurpees with a Twizzler for a straw?

That sounds pretty good. Is that a dessert?

Is that a dessert?

Anything you eat after you've already eaten is dessert.

So when you're sad and you go into your cupboard and you take a handful of unsweetened chocolate chips from your cupboard.

She's about to sing a song.

When you're sad If I sing slow will they stop me? Casey, take out the inner monologue. Put the inner monologue back in. Please chocolate chips when you're sad by the handful.

So if I'm getting this right, what you're asking me, are our chocolate chips a dessert? Well, I'm dumb as shit, but I also know one thing is to be known first. Anything chocolate can be eaten for dessert. That's true. How about I give an a... Chicken toward a blue! Yay! Who won that game?

What? Why? She just got all the answers right.

I'm getting a victim!

Nice job Gary.

And one more time from JPC's stepdad.

I forget what I sound like!

We're the same guy! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Great flair!

Can we do, as my prize?

Keif, I'm sorry. We're the same guy.

We are the same guy. JBC does that to a lot of people he beats on the street. He just walks up to somebody who's like, we're the same guy. I start conversations with, hey, we're the same guy.

He's confused like a baby. He doesn't know where he stops and everyone else.

And he'll go up to like a parent and be like, hey, we're the same guy. You and me. Birds of a feather.

And JBC, tell Adal what his prize is.

Wait, can I decide my prize? You get to kick me in the butt. I get to kick you in the butt? No, I want that one.

What was the prize that you wanted?

I just want to do one round of take a chance on me, but instead of take a chance on me, we say chicken cordon bleu. And you two do the chicken cordon bleu.

Okay, I'll ready.

Wait, wait, wait. So the song is Take a Chance with Me, and in the song they go, take a chance, take a chance, take a chance.

I'll do Chicken instead of Chance. Take a chick, take a chick, take a chick again. Take a chick, take a chick, take a chick again.

I just tricked Erin into singing. Chicken Caught on Blue.

That would have been so cool if you had committed. Ready? I'll do it again. Now you're going to actually do it.

But JPC has to get into it. What am I doing in this part? The same thing as I'm doing. I'm just saying the same thing to Erin. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken In a bowl, chickens a bird, known as a foam.

Cause you know what? I got so much that I wanna do. I think I heard everyone unsubscribe from our podcast and throwing that.

Do you hear that on your phone? Cause I heard all those dings. Casey take out those dings.

No, make them louder Casey. Well, you know, when we all three collectively sigh into the microphone. One, two, three. That usually means just about the old Hey Riddle Riddle podcast.

Adal, what have you got to plug?

What I want to plug is just one thing. This is Dr. Recommendations. And if you're ever in Chicago, there's a little place in Logan Square called Pretty Cool that I stopped in the other day and they sell homemade ice cream bars and popsicles and stuff. I got a popsicle from there the other day that was apple cider donut popsicle and it changed my fucking life. So go to Pretty Cool. I think it's on California, but check it out.

Oh, I've been there. Yeah. It's fantastic. Did you like it? It's so good. So it was, I'm not their target market because I'm not a Popsicles guy. And I thought that they might have like other stuff that I would enjoy. And the people that I went with were all like, oh, it's Popsicles. And I was like, ugh. Popsicles and ice cream bars, and that's it. I thought for a long time, like, how does there deserve to be a Popsicle restaurant?

Kind of cool though.

It's pretty big too. Yeah, it is. It's pretty big.

If you go tweet me and I'll meet you there because it's like five minutes from my house. If you go tweet me and I'll meet you there.

I got nothing going on. At any time. Night or day. Night or day. Tweet Adal if you're at pretty cool.

Only if it's your half birthday. If it's your half birthday, Adal me there.

Yes, that's true. So back up in my neck of the woods in Lincoln Square, there is a popcorn shrimp pop-up called Mr. Popper's Penguin Shrimp. It's not called Dennis Popper's? It's called Dennis Popper's. And it is the bee's knees. I love this place. So tweet me if you're at Mr. Popper's Popcorn Chicken Tracker. Oh, Chicken Nuttrick? You order the shrimp, but the rest is for chicken. Tweet me when you're there. It's five minutes from my house. So nothing to plug. No, I don't have anything to plug. And I don't like plugging stuff, so I won't.

But I will. Follow me, Erin Keif 10 on Instagram. And that's, if you look at my bio or you just click around, you'll find my welcome back series or type in welcome back Erin Keif into YouTube. I made a web series that I'm super proud of with a lot of very, very funny people. And I would love for you to check it out. Hold on, Erin.

I want to see just how good the SEO is on this thing. I'm going to type, welcome back Erin Keif into YouTube and see what pops up.

While he does that, I'm going to kick JPC in the butt as hard as I can.

Ow!

Alright Erin, well you're gonna look pretty dumb because there is a bunch of stuff for somebody's web series and then if I scroll down to six videos there is the world news tonight at the Kalamazoo Improv Fest so you could watch.

I'm in that and so is Adal.

You can watch that. That is there. World news tonight at the Kalamazoo Improv Festival. How many views do we think this video has guys?

28?

400? 300? 1.2 thousand. That's a lot of people who have watched that. And if we had to guess how many thumbs ups it has.

Oh, how many thumbs down does it have?

Just 10. No, it has 43 thumbs up and one thumbs down. And the one thumbs down was me. Just now. I just disliked it. So if you, if you are listening to this podcast, please find the world news tonight. KZU improv vest video. Give it a big old thumbs down.

It's not for the Kalamazoo improvisable, they're so nice.

Well, you're right. Give it a thumbs down.

Comment that you hate us specifically.

Give it a thumbs down and make sure you leave a comment about what you don't like about Erin's hair. Bye forever.

Casey, can you insert a Jupiter? Jupiter. But make it sound dumb and robotic.

Greeted by Adal Rifai. Starting Erin Keif and John Patrick Moan. Casey Tony did the editing, and our new parents

Her name is Erin. She was born in 1991 in a small farm in Missouri. When she was born, the moon was out. And the world was ready for her. She then moved.

She then moved to Baltimore, Baltimore, Maryland, and the moon was out. Look at that tall girl, everyone said. What a tall, powerful woman.

Why that's no woman. That's an old tree. That's an old Baltimore tree. Let's cut it down, they screamed. And the town whipped into a blood frenzy, took axes to the woman. Tree. Tree. Oh boy. Well, you got me.

And the tree's kids scream.

You got me.

Take me to jail.

I'm under arrest. I'm an LA-6 and a Baltimore tree.