Which Riddle Riddle?

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice.

Liam Neeson's niece got a lease on a Nissan. Aaron?

I'm sorry we didn't get that. We need to take that one more time.

Liam Neeson's niece got a lease on a Nissan. It's Leslie Nielsen. Liam Neeson's niece got a lease on Leslie Nielsen.

The president's penis was ejected from the Senate's chamber

Nailed it. First try. Great. Wow. Perfect. Welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I'm Liam Neeson's Nissan, Erin Keif.

Oh, to be Liam Neeson's Nissan.

How are we all doing?

I'm doing a lot better than Liam Neeson, I'll tell you that much. Guys canceled AF. But I'm doing well. I would say I'm doing well. I'm doing like I order my steak.

Rare. Roar.

Roar. Let's get into it. I feel like the last couple episodes we've been dilly dillying around. Yeah, let's get into it. Let's get into it. Why'd you leave your keys up on the table?

I don't want to dilly dally.

Well, it's not Dilly Dilly Dilly, but light. And let's get straight into it.

Have you guys ever had a Dilly Bar before?

Oh, it's my favorite.

Dairy Queen?

Dairy Queen Dilly Bar? Actually, I lied. I like Buster Bars better. What's that? I like Buster Bars better than Dilly Bars.

I don't know.

I'm not familiar with Buster Bars. That's Arthur's friend from... That's Arthur's friend, the Antelope Canalope. Buster Bars sounds like a Bruno Mars cover band. So Buster Bar... With Tony Hale. It's a, it's like a big, it's like a upside down parfait. So it's like chocolate covered. It looks like a big, like a cup, frozen cup of ice cream and it's ice cream, fudge and nuts, ice cream, fudge and nuts, ice cream. Oh, interesting. It's really good. Where do they serve it? Dairy Queen. Really? Also, Mr. Misty is amazing.

Fudge and Nuts is my hollow notes.

Fudge.

Fudge. Can you get that tattoo? Fudge and Nuts is my big and rich. I know that we can't keep making t-shirts, but Fudge and Nuts is my hollow notes. Fudge and Nuts is my hollow notes. Is a great t-shirt.

And of course, some of their famous songs, Erin, are...

Uh, I don't know.

Spam eater. Yeah. Yeah.

You're better at these kind of jokes. We do it. I'm tired. We're 150 episodes in.

I just had a grand slam. What do you want from me? A single? Come on.

I will say at the World News Show that you two missed last night, there was a portion of the show where people were doing puns that had the word cash in them on cocktails. And there was a moment where we said, let's all just stop and try to think of a few more of those. And we all just stopped and tried to think of a few more of those. So immediately can either of you come up with cocktails that have the word cash in them?

Have the words cash in them.

Can you give me an example?

Cashmopolitan.

Yeah, Cashmopolitan was one of them. Old Cashend was one of them. Yeah. But I can you, I'm legit, we got like four.

Cash on the beach.

Cash on the beach? Okay, I like that.

Sex on the cash. Sex on the cash.

They can also be, well. Genia Cashlata. They can also be money-based, but I think cash was the word that we were trying to work into a lot of them. Cash Arena. I don't know. Cash Driver. Cash Neat. Cash on the rocks. Hey Riddle. And I was like, you can't be real. I was like, that has to be a... And I don't go to Derek Peele. They're ruined. I don't go to Derek Peele. I don't think I've had a dilly bar. And this is in, I think I'm in college at this point. And finally I stopped in and I went inside and I was like, hey, can I get 40 dilly bars for $4? And the guy was like, yeah. And I was like, what's with the sign? And he was like, We messed up when we put the sign up. And I was like, why don't you take it down? He goes, we don't have the stick. Because there's a stick, a big stick to like change the letters of the sign. And I guess the guy who had the stick wasn't there. Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Carried a big stick and sell dilly bars for a good price. So I did. I bought 40 dilly bars for $4. And he didn't even charge me. He didn't even ring it up. You just gave, I gave him $4 cash and he gave me 40 daily bars, which was two boxes.

In Indianapolis.

In Indianapolis.

Speaking of things that don't make sense, let's do a riddle.

Okay. I think everybody needed to know that story about the daily bar. So we've got a couple of warm up type riddles that some listeners have sent in and they're fun. And I like giving the listeners a little bit of a sharing. So we're going to do some of their riddles. Allocash white.

It's a beer.

It's a beer. It's not really a cocktail.

Anything's a cocktail if you drink it. Anything's a cocktail if Tom Cruise is in it.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Anything's a cocktail if Tom Cruise throw it up in the air. So my wife is a cocktail. What's the airplane movie you was in? Airplane. Top Guns. They're also remaking Top Gun.

No, I don't think they're remaking it. They're recasting goose as a goose. No, that can't be right.

Real life goose, animatronic goose. Untitled goose movie, Top Gun 2.

Goosey troupe.

This is what I mean. You're better at these jokes.

Here's a sleep related riddle that I found online. Ariel is the one that sent this in. She also writes topical in there because Ariel wrote us a very nice topical gun. Ariel wrote us a very nice email about informing us about something that I didn't know much about narcolepsy. Do you know much about narcolepsy?

I know a little bit about it.

All I know is that it's the fall down disease closely.

Well I was going to say it's the group of cops who go after drugs, right? Yes.

Oh that's funny.

I really mean that.

That's not a position where I said it.

Erin's patting me on the head.

In the criminal justice system there are two types of cops. Cops too sleepy to do cops?

No, I know it's a very real thing that people have. It's actually pretty common.

Narcolepsy just means that you're super tired all the time. It doesn't mean that you necessarily just fall asleep or whatever.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So everything I know about narcolepsy comes from deus bigelow, melchigle. And that's wrong! And that's wrong! So if someone who's narcoleptic bowls, they don't throw the ball in the air, fall asleep, and slide down the bowling alley?

I think it's just like a sort of constant tired. Sometimes you're so, so tired that you can't.

And this is real. That's the only thing Rob Schneider's ever been wrong about. But he was wrong about that one.

But not about Shane Gillis.

He's on the right side of history with the whole Shane Gillis thing. I heard you just signed with Nike. Oh, good. You can do it. Jess, you can do it. Yeah. God, water boy, what a great movie. Can we hear a little bit of Gambit?

You come to the back of the bus.

No, but cataplexy is actually the thing where you lose control of your muscles and collapse. And Ariel, who is narcoleptic, also let us know that they discovered that they are also cataplectic when they laugh too hard from listening to our show. So we're helping people with science and that's why they sent us a sleep-related riddle. So here's Ariel's riddle. A tourist named Kevin stopped at a hotel and stayed in a single room. When night fell, he went to bed but couldn't fall asleep. After a while, he picked up the phone and called someone, didn't say anything, hung up, and immediately fell asleep. Who did Kevin call and why?

He called his friend and his friend read Goodnight Moon to him and then he fell asleep. People get mad at me for singing on this show and I'm a third of the singing everybody.

I don't think anybody gets mad at you for singing. People love you singing.

People don't know a thing.

People don't know a thing. Uh, no. So, didn't say anything, called someone, didn't say anything, hung up, and immediately fell asleep.

Was it something of like, um, they're soothed by, like, the weather being red? Or was it one of those, like, uh, okay.

The, I will say that I don't think it says in the riddle, but the other person, the person that they called also did not answer.

Okay.

Or if they did answer, what they said wasn't important.

Did they call their like hypnotist and their voicemail was some sort of... Oh my god.

If you were a hypnotist and your voicemail hypnotized people, that would be fucking awesome.

Hey, um, sorry Adal, can we have a quick sidebar? Okay, so I took JPC to a hypnotist, and if you say the word chicken to him, he's going to do something real weird. So whenever you decide to say the word chicken, JPC does something real weird. Don't abuse this power, I'm just saying. Just so you know.

Hey JPC, you fucking suck.

Yeah, I know. Just so you know that's there for the whole episode.

Please don't suck a chicken's dick.

He's sucking a chicken's dick.

No, chickens are updates. All right, it's hands.

It's important. I do want to see it.

Okay.

Oh, no. JPC, you are going to be a hypnotist. Erin, you are a skeptic at a hypnotism show. A skepticist. You're a skepticist and you get up on stage and JPC tries to hypnotize you.

Ladies and gentlemen, and thank you very much, Mark. You can now return to your seat. Oh, and Mark, Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Cock-a-doodle-doo.

Please let me stop sucking this chicken. No, I'll never do that. Thank you. A big round of applause for Mark. Now I need another volunteer from the audience.

Raise my hand. Like ironically, I guess.

Okay. Young Miss, would you like to come up here on stage?

I guess so, air quotes. And what is your name? Beth.

Okay, you're incredulous about your own name. Beth, my name is the great Mondee.

My name can be Mondee. Oh, okay.

Well, I've obviously, you saw what I did to fucking Mark. It made him look like a little clown. And you look like you're about 40, 41 years old.

I am 26.

Okay, well, what I've said I didn't say, I think you're this age. I said what you looked. So I'm not wrong. She's already been hypnotized. I think she's 26. Amazing. I would like to hypnotize, you know. Before I do that, I must get your consent. Do you consent to be hypnotized?

Sure. I would love to see you try.

Okay. I'm going to count backwards from 10. You let me know if I get it right. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, 4, 3, 2, 1. Yes. Okay. So she's willing to Be wrong on stage in front of people, which means that she is prone to suggestion.

What's your favorite word, Beth? Apple.

Apple, okay. Now, may I see your phone?

Okay.

This is a Samsung.

Yeah.

Why would you have a Samsung if your favorite word is Apple?

I'm poor.

You think a Samsung costs less money? This is a Galaxy Note S2? Scene.

We'll never know what happened. Oh, Samsung's gonna kill us.

They're one of our bigger sponsors. Anyone have an answer for this? One big hint is that they're in a hotel.

Was it like the front desk to set an alarm? Like to get a wake-up call or something?

Yes, classically, if you can't fall asleep, get a wake-up call.

They could fall asleep because they were worried about they wouldn't wake up for like an important meeting or something. That's actually a good take.

I was going to say, it's something that made them less stressed.

There's a specific reason that they can't fall asleep. They're normally great at sleeping.

Oh, it's a sound. They call the front desk and say, because people next door to me are making an awful lot of sound. Can you tell them to quiet down?

That's very close. And it's very true, except they didn't call the front desk.

They called. I bet it's someone in the, like a neighboring room has an alarm going off, but they're not turning it off.

I'm going to give it to Adal. There's a neighboring room, the room next door where a person named Suzy was snoring very loudly. So what do they do? They called Suzy's room, woke her ass up, and then went to bed.

Not her whole body, just your ass? High five me.

Ariel says they woke her ass up. Yeah, and after that Kevin was easily able to fall asleep. Thank you Ariel, that was such a great riddle. And thank you Adal and Erin because you had some very interesting answers to that riddle that I think also worked pretty well. But we're not the right answer, so you don't get any points for that. If that makes sense.

And Erin, nothing you want to say about Ariel in terms of like thingamabobs or?

I've got 20.

There you go. Half-hearted attempt.

Ooh, a half-hearted attempt. I'm trying not to sing this whole episode.

What do you call them? Grapes.

That's the subtext of this podcast. Half-hearted attempt. This one is from Calvin. This is a warm-up riddle. Are these all cartoon character names?

I love the name Calvin. I was just saying, if I ever have a son, I'm going to name him Calvin. Nobody steal that.

Well, it sounds like Calvin already has.

Well, fuck you, Calvin. I love your name. Really good name your son Calvin? I love the name Calvin.

I do want to see a quick scene. This is all three of us, and this is just a 30 second trailer from the movie, Calvin and Hobbs and Shaw. Hey Calvin. What seems to be the problem? Wait, shit, which one's Calvin? Which one's Shaw?

Oh man, Hobbs is definitely the tanker, right?

Yes, Hobbs is the tanker.

On what they call a champagne call system.

Sean and I saw Hobbs and Shaw in five seconds before the movie started. He was like, okay, quick. Whose side are you on? Hobbs or Shaw? We'll keep a point system the whole time. But which one was Hobbs and which one was Shaw?

That's the hardest question to answer. I forget.

I had The Rock. I was excited every time.

That's gotta be Hobbs. That's gotta be Hobbs. Yeah, because you see The Rock and you say that guy's name is Luke Hobbs. All right, this is from Calvin. What is four legs is covered in green fur and will kill you if it falls on you.

Moss cat.

Moss cat, baby. Yeah, moss cat. The answer is moss cat. I got me a cat. That's covered in moss.

Carrie and moss cat. What's got four legs covered in green fur and might kill you?

Is covered in green fur and will kill you if it falls on you. A building. What do you mean when you say a building is covered in green fur, Erin?

Moss. It's covered in moss. And it's been following you. I never said I liked riddles. I never said, I said right. I had a gate.

And famously in the first episode said you hate riddles.

Yes, so I made no promises. Let's see.

So we're starting a nationwide search for our new coast. I love the idea of a building falling on someone. Watch out for that building. I'm going to say a shag rug table.

You are not far off with a shag rug table. Is it like a couch?

Green couch?

Green table. Green table? Yeah. Okay. Shag rug table. I'll take it. Well, the answer's not green table.

It's a table, though.

What a fucking esoteric answer. Green table. Yeah, table. You said shag rug table, so it's a type of green table.

Green table. Ping pong table. No, green fur.

Oh, a pool table.

Yeah. It's a pool table. Erin, you and I did that together.

That was a real high five.

I want to see a scene.

Not a fake out at all. And we're at a real dive bar, real divey bar. The bar for all the local swimmers? Yeah. And then you two are pool rivals, not swimmers. I'm digging this up into a hole.

Erin, you set us up so hard for two swimmers.

I know, but you play a game of pool, and you're both drinking whiskeys, and tonight's the night you really go after each other.

Another old cash-end? Yeah, only if you can have another my cash. What? Um, it might die. Excuse me, it might die.

Can I get you gentlemen another round of drinks?

Yeah, we'll just have another round of whatever you're drinking for. I'll take a bloody cash.

A bloody cash-end you want whatever you have for?

No, no, no, I want a pina cashlada.

Alright, I'll be right back with your drinks.

Thank you.

I'm on to you.

I'm on to you as well.

We're both sharks. Swimming in a pool. In this dive bar.

Yeah. And you better stay in your lane while we're swimming in this pool, in this dive bar, and we're both sharks. I might drink this like a fish. Oh boy. I'm going to make sure you floaty.

Here are your drinks. It would have been more fun if you didn't try to do all the pool puns. Here we go.

Okay.

All right. Here you go.

Thank you so much. Here's a tip, which is to stay, mind your fucking nose.

And here's also another tip for you. That's $4. Oh, that's 20%.

That's pretty good. $4? 20%? How expensive are these drinks?

Well, let's see. $4 times .20. Hold on. The drinks were $2.50.

Like, how do you reverse figure out a tip? How do you figure out? How do you reverse figure out, yeah. If I, 20%, $20 is a tip of $20.

It's a $20 drink? I bought a $20 drink? How is that possible? Please don't break the pool cue sticks and... This is Oklahoma City. You're charging $20 for a cocktail?

That's insane. Fight each other.

I'm fighting you. I want to speak to the manager of this bar.

Hello, I'm the manager of this bar.

My rival's the manager of the bar. Sorry, I should have prefaced that earlier. No, it's okay. I'm one of the chief principal investors of this bar. I should have prefaced that earlier. Okay. I guess I've one-upped you once again. Okay, well I just... Okay, why? Try to get me out of bed.

Cannonball! I leaned into the pool thing by the end. Erin came around.

Yeah, you came around. You really liked it. This one is from Steven. Steven loves the podcast. They love the laughs. They think the Patreon is well worth it, so they're obviously making fun of us. Steven, you're a bully. What can you eat your soup with, sit on, and cut paper with? Your grandpa. What can you eat your soup with, sit on, and cut paper with?

Okay, so you can cut paper with scissors. Can't scissor soup. No, we can't scissor soup.

Rock, paper, scissor soup.

You can sit on scissors. You can sit on anything. You can sit on anything. What can you eat your soup with? Sit on.

What can you eat your soup with? Sit on and cut paper with. So cut your paper. Steven, this truly sucks. Thank you so much for sending it, Steven. Is it a pun? No, it's not a pun.

Is it a bad answer? Yes.

Your hands.

Okay, yeah, sure. Your brain. The answer to all riddles is your brain.

You said this was a dumb answer.

It is a dumb answer, and that is a dumb answer, so thank you for that. What can you eat soup with, sit on, and cut paper with?

Crackers.

Yes. Do you want a hint for this? It's a pretty dumb answer. Your hint is it's three different things.

What?

So a spoon, a chair, and scissors? Yes, correct. It is a spoon, a chair, and scissors.

Did this guy include his address?

Keep in mind, this person supports the Patreon.

I'm gonna go there and have sex with their mom.

Damn, Steven. Damn, Steven.

You're not gonna have sex with your mom, Steven.

Wow, so Steven pays five bucks and his mom gets laid? That's a good deal.

I'm gonna make her freaking fall in love with me.

Erin fucks your mom. Power move, Erin fucks your mom.

Erin fucks your mom was filmed in front of your mom.

While she's getting fucked. I hope it's a consensual filming. You're not secretly filming.

For now you're in love!

So Steven, just so you're clear, your mom will consent to big bucks by Erin.

I wish I hadn't made this joke.

Thank you for supporting the podcast and thank you for submitting a riddle. And yes, that was a very bad riddle, but I think also Steven knew in their heart of hearts that that was a very bad riddle. And speaking of very bad riddles, I've got some specially prepared for the two of you, and I just can't wait to give you these riddles. The wickedly talented Adina Menzel. The title of this riddle is Long Life Bulbs. Long life bulbs? Long life bulbs. And remember, I'm changing the name to be Kevin, so that's why this doesn't work. Great. Eccentric Kevin flipped an ordinary light switch in his living room. The lights went on, apparently, in an ordinary way. But there was a special hidden circuitry involved. He was right when he boasted, my lights are wired so the bulbs last much longer than average. I rarely have to change them.

Explain. Is this a fucking New Yorker article?

This is a New Yorker cartoon. I'm looking at a cartoon and just reading words that don't exist on the page.

And it's a dog with water in its mouth and a javelin sticking out of it with a clown balancing on top of it. No, that caption makes sense.

It's very political.

They flipped an ordinary light switch in their living room. The lights went on, apparently in an ordinary way, but there was special, hidden circuitry involved. He was right when he boasted, my lights are wired so the bulb lasts much longer than average. I rarely have to change them.

But why? But why, dear boy? Were they, um, bulbs of garlic?

Were they Christmas lights?

Were they bulbs of garlic? Were they Christmas lights? Oh boy, oh boy. I will say no to both of those things.

Okay. Is the bulb a light bulb?

Yes, the bulb is a light bulb. And there is a special circuitry involved.

Okay, circuitry of course is the plural of circus.

You guys are going to love this.

Multiple circuses. Circi.

My favorite Madeleine Miller book.

I feel really bad about saying I was going to fuck that guy's mom. I thought we were just thinking aloud.

Uh, Erin, if it makes you feel better, there's probably an 80% chance that person never knew their mom or their mom is dead. Oh no. 80%? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm doing the, yeah. 80%, right? Yeah. That's fair. $40 on $20. $4 check. Could you give us a hint?

Does it come with a hint? A formal hint?

Erin, it absolutely comes with some hints and I cannot wait to give them to you. So here are your hints. Were the bulbs totally ordinary? Yes. Great hint. The ordinary incandescent bulbs screwed into ordinary sockets, but could a fluorescent bulb that had a socket base that fit into the fixtures be used instead? No. So it has to be ordinary bulbs. Does the answer have to do with the structure of incandescent bulbs?

Yes. Woof.

Yeah. So. Filament. Filibuster. Filibuster.

There. Filibuster bar. That's fun.

Oh, that's fun. There's something there.

There's something there. So we have to know circuitry.

You have to know circuitry. You have to know about the structure of regular incandescent bulbs. And that's going to be paramount to you solving this riddle.

I do want to see a scene to buy me some time. Erin, you are Thomas Edison. JPC, you are Thomas Edison's best friend. And Erin, you've called JPC over to show off the light bulb, but something's gone wrong.

Come in, quickly.

Okay, yeah. You called, you sent a guy, he sent a horse, messenger. How do we communicate?

You're gonna... You called.

Alexander Graham Bell, what year is this? You called me. Let's just say you called me. Watson, I need you. You called me.

Yeah, come on in, come on in. I'm gonna show you something and I feel like you're gonna freakin' freak out.

You showed me the wackiest shit, Tommy.

But this time, but this time, but this time.

You showed me the wackiest shit.

But this time, but this time, but this time.

Okay, let's see.

Okay, come on in. Okay. Ready? What the fuck is this? Just a little like glass? No, something has gone wrong. Okay, hold on.

We should have this up our butts.

No, no, no.

This is for that?

We should have this up our butts. We said that we'd only do that that one time.

No, we said that we would do it in increasingly bigger sizes to see how big we could get.

For science, I know. We said it was for science.

Yes, for science.

But then we kissed and now it's weird.

I love that it's glass because if it shatters, it'll be dangerous for us.

Okay, watch this.

Okay, I'm gonna... Oh, Tom, this is good.

I'm actually gonna hold this and I'm gonna rub. What do you mean we're not doing the butt stuff anymore? Did you want to find out? No, I just feel like I won't fall in love.

She's okay with it. I'm sorry, should I go back to the patent office?

No, no, no, we want you to see this. I watch this, I'm gonna rub my feet against the carpet, and then put this above my head.

Oh, and I sit on top of your head?

No, no.

I lower myself down on your head, let me just grab this pole and fall. Oh, can you also eat soup with this and cut paper with it? Why not? I'll see. And that's it?

My favorite new phrase is, we put this up our butt, this is for that. This is for that. This is for that. We put it up our butt, this is for that.

Yeah, so white balls up here, but that's what you wanted, right?

What's the answer to this? Because I'm not an electrician.

Yeah, did you see, I'm going to use, for the first and last time, I'm going to use my mercy card, which says, have fucking mercy on me and tell me the answer.

You guys are going to love this answer. Okay. Modern incandescent bulbs have a coiled filament that glows as current is passed through it. A coil, however, radiates and absorbs magnetic impulses as the current through it is changed. It thereby not only resists changes in current, the electrical equivalent of inertia, but also shakes slightly as the voltage changes. The voltage changes with alternating current between plus 166 volts and negative 166 volts and back again 60 times per second, placing mechanical stress on the filament. Eric merely used direct current so that the filaments would not be shaken by voltage changes and would last longer for that reason. I was going to say it's Steven's mom because Erin walked out of here and walked to, I don't want to say New Jersey.

That's a really good sum up of my personality is making a joke that's so disgusting and then feeling bad about it for three weeks.

I'm going to change this up and we're going to go into a segment that we've done, I don't know, we've actually never done the segment. I want to change up this segment in fact. This segment is called, That Sucks, and we are going to go around and say one thing that we think sucks about that riddle.

Okay, I'm gonna say the fact that you need to be an electrical engineer to get it.

Yeah. One of the things that I think sucks about this riddle is how it really insisted on teaching me a thing that I had no interest in learning. It also standard with modern incandescent bulbs and this book is published so long ago. I don't know if that's modern anymore. That might not be how light bulbs work.

You are reading from the Bible.

Of course, I've said that there is only one central truth and one central source of riddles, and that is the Old Testament.

Yeah, I think same as you guys, the thing that sucks about that riddle is I don't like to be tricked into learning. I don't want to ever have to learn anything unless I'm asking to learn it.

Which is why you won't open fortune cookies.

I won't. Not even a little. I won't watch any educational channel.

You won't open fortune cookies.

I won't talk to a smart friend.

Famously because you can't.

Well, the physics of them, they're so confusing.

Yeah, fortune cookies are the ultimate puzzle for you, correct?

Yeah, I get confused. And also, I'm just all sleepy from all the food I ate.

And your hands are wet with butter?

And sweat.

My own. I meant to say your hands are sweat with butter.

If you ever meet me in real life and you shake my hand, my hands are very, very sweaty, and that's just who I am. Okay? So just don't be weird about it, okay?

If you ever meet me in real life and you shake my hand, look down in your hand, that's a fish. I just put a bass in your hand, my man. You've been bassed. You've been missed. All right. Huh? Is this good? That riddle sucked. We all hated it.

We all... I think you accidentally just said something iconic.

Do you think now that when people come up and meet us around town they will start putting bass in my hand? I think they 100% hope someone does.

If you work in a Bass Pro Shop and you can get us a live show there, we will play there. Let's only play at sporting goods stores.

I will play at a Dicks, I will play at a Last Resort, I will play at a Bass Pro Shop, I will play at a Red Lobster.

So you'll play at a Dicks or a Papa Roach concert?

Yes. I think a year from now at a live show, JPC is going to come out on stage with a bucket. It goes, who wants a bass? Everyone cheers because everyone knows the joke and you just throw fish in your mouth.

My ultimate goal is this podcast gets big enough and successful enough that people throw bass at me. If that happens, if I can't live a normal life because I am in fear of being bast, I know I've made that.

Don't make it a verb. You're making it worse. You've been bast. You've been bast.

You've been bast. Speaking of getting bast, we're all going to go do a quick round of getting bast, but while we do that, you are going to hear a message from some of our... Lance Bass. You're going to hear a message from NSYNC's Joey Fatone. Fatone death. Oh my God. What? I got the ransom note. Okay. I just got, I just got the ransom note. You want me to open it? Yeah. Okay. That looks like a menu. Oh. Oh my God. This isn't the ransom note. False alarm. This is a box of hello fresh. Oh, but look at all the good stuff inside.

Oh my gosh. What do we have in here?

Well, let me back up. Of course, we're all waiting for a ransom note because spaghetti, my dog was kidnapped. We hope she's okay. This isn't that. So we're going to go right into this. This is HelloFresh.

We hope for the best. We pray for the worst.

Now this is also a food, like my dog Spaghetti, who is both named after a food and dog a food. But this is HelloFresh. They don't use dog. This is America's number one meal kit. It's easy seasonal recipes with pre-measured ingredients delivered right to your door. All you have to do is cook and enjoy.

That sounds delicious. I've had some of these Hello Fresh meals. I've had them with my cats, Brisket and Fries, who are also named after food items. And the food is effing delicious. I don't let them have it because I clean my plate clean. Does that make sense? Yes, yes, yes. But it's simple. It's easy. It makes me feel like I'm a big time chef in a big time city. Like I'm in El Paso, cooking up ribs.

And you can take a bite of the grocery store. Bye-bye. And take out food. Bye-bye take out food.

Also, because it's pre-measured ingredients and everything is really laid out for you in a beautiful way, the cleanup time is so short and that's magic. Also, there's something for everyone. I'm talking families. I'm talking calorie smart. I'm talking vegetarian for sweet little baby JPC over here. And there's a fun menu series like Hall of Fame and Kraft Burgers. Oh my God. Have you tried that yet? I really want to try it.

I haven't tried it yet. I'm looking forward to these fall ingredients.

I like that it's flexible and it fits my lifestyle. So I can add extra meals to my weekly order, I can add yummy add-ons, I can even change my delivery days, my food preferences, or I can skip a week. Like say, you know, spaghetti's kidnappers not brought to justice and I'm out there on the road hunting this person down. I can skip my hell of fresh again, pause for a week.

That's great for you because you're famously all over the place.

I'm all over the place. Trying to find this guy? Or gal? We don't know.

You're wearing shorts of her pants right now. Shorts of her pants except after her eye.

And I just gotta say, I gotta say, I want anyone listening to this to also try HelloFresh. I really do. And if you want to try HelloFresh... How would anybody be listening to this? We're in our kitchen. That's true. And we are talking into a box of HelloFresh. But if anyone can hear us, and they want $80 off their first month of HelloFresh, all you have to do is go to hellofresh.com slash riddle80 and enter the promo code Riddle80. That's R-I-D-D-L-E-8-0. That's it.

Wait, that one more time? Just like one more time.

OK, Erin.

Because that sounds too good to be sure.

But as spaghetti would say it.

For $80 off your first month of HelloFresh, go to hellofresh.com slash riddle 80 and intercode riddle 80. It makes me sad to do the voice because she's kidnapped.

And please go to spaghetticomehome.com. If you see spaghetti, just let us know. We're looking for her.

Or go to babycomeback.com slash spaghetticomehome.

Big thing about HelloFresh, and I just mean this to be true, is every time I cook anything from it, my roommates can't believe how good our house smells. So just take that for what it is.

Hello Fresh is nature's candle. That's not a proof slogan. Cut my pus into riddles. This is my last resort. Hey Riddle Riddle, we're back.

We're back and we hope you all enjoyed that ad for On the Line, which I believe is the Lance Bass Joey Fatone movie.

Okay.

They made a movie?

They made a movie, and I think the plot of the movie was Oh man. He's trying to find someone's number. I think he's spending the movie trying to find a woman's number and he doesn't have her number in some way because it's like on the line like I don't remember if he has like a radio show but Joey Fatone's his friend and he's trying to help him.

This, it was... And DBC, you're looking around the room and everything you mentioned is details in the room.

Just Kaiser Sozeg together, pieces of... Cancelled, cancelled, cancelled.

If anyone wants to get red wine drunk with me and watch that movie, let me know. Any listener, I'll watch that with anyone.

Steven's mom? Yeah, Steven's mom. Well, she definitely does. Coming up a storm. I think that that's the movie. You know what? I could have at any point when we took our break googled it. I could have known something about it.

No, I like that we don't know.

Yeah, on the line, Lance Bass. I believe that's the name of the movie. It doesn't matter because we're getting back to what we do best, fighting. Natalie, I hate your hat. Erin, I hate everything else about you.

But you love my hat.

But I love your hat. Where did you get it? Oh my god, it's such a nice hat. The title of this riddle is, they had a ball. Bob, we had a baby, it's a ball. Two men stood on a softball field and practiced throwing and catching just before a game. Over here, over here, shouted Ned, slapping his fist into his mitt. Ted threw the softball to him. Good catch. Throw me a grounder, shouted Ted. Ned returned the ball by throwing it along the ground as requested. Now a high one.

Are you reading a kids in a hall sketch?

Yeah, is it funny yet? Now a high one, right here, right here. Ted threw the ball high in the air, and Ned ran about 10 feet to his left, reached up, and caught the ball easily. Good arm, but your aim is a little crooked, he announced. No it isn't, replied Ted. So what's wrong with throwing the high ball right where I was standing, retorted Ned. What the fuck is going on? Indeed.

The wind. I feel very alone. I feel very lonely in this moment.

Erin said the wind and then she started levitating. And we're recording in a car. You think it's the wind, huh? I don't think so. I don't think it's the wind.

So the guy who threw 10 feet to the left was correct.

That silence was violent. So is he like cross? Ted threw the ball high in the air and Ned ran about 10 feet to his left, reached up and caught the ball easily. High into the air and he ran 10 feet to his left. Do the math. I'm doing the Alfredo.

And Ned was the guy's name? Was it Ned from Ned and Stacey?

Was it Ned from Ned and Stacey? Keep in mind I was born in 2006, so I don't know what the fuck that is. If it ain't Fortnite, I don't know that shit.

I'm sorry, I wanted to say, does Ned pwn some noobs? Yeah, thank you. No scopes, some fucking noobs.

I could have done Ned Flanders, you could have done Ned Flanders, his wife Maude.

So you know The Simpsons, which started in what, 88? I only know The Simpsons from memes.

Alo, I only know what memes there are from Fortnite Dances.

I do want to see a scene. JPC, you are playing Xbox Live online with a microphone headset, I don't know what the kids call them, and you are, you're noscoping some noobs, your opponents, you're opening up a pawn shop, and Erin, you are someone that he's playing against trying to just get through the game.

You're just spinning and aiming up, and now you're jumping.

My vest is on backwards.

How did you do that? You can't put a vest on backwards.

Give me six minutes.

Six minutes?

I need six minutes to correct my vest. You're gonna be outside the kill zone in six minutes.

Grandpa, grab the wood. Grab the wood.

What?

Grab the wood.

All right, hold on.

Grab this wood, noob. Bang, bang, bang. You're dead. Grab my dick.

Hold on.

Eat my dick in hell, noob.

All right, I need to get the straw fill out of my milk. Hold on.

Wait, why do you get milk in this game?

All right, let's drop hell. All right. Okay, here we go.

The things that you're saying are commands that you're executing in the game.

All right. Hey.

Hey. Sorry I'm a character in the game. Hey, sir. Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

How old are you, sir?

Hold on. Hold on. Say that again.

Sir, how old are you, sir?

I'm 91 years old.

Sir, my name is Ninja, and I'm a professional streamer.

My name is Joseph, and I was in Six of the Wars.

And as I count backwards, you're going to go back into a 26-year-old, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 3, 4, 5, 2, 1.

Alright, my voice is the same, but I'm going to do a backflip.

Oh god, no.

Here I go.

No, you guys did not get the answer while you were doing that scene.

Would you like some hints? I mean, based on the last... I can't even call that a riddle. Sure. Based on the last word problem, math problem, is this like a centrifugal force? Is this like... No. No, you won't need physics to solve this.

Yeah, you won't need physics to solve this. Did Ted intend to give Ned practice at running to catch a high ball? No. Just throwing a high ball. Could Ted have aimed the ball directly at Ned if he wanted to? Sure. Why not? Sure. Is their location significant?

They're on the moon. They're on the moon. They're on the moon.

Erin was so confident that they are on the moon, which of course they are not. You're on a boat. You're on a boat.

You're on a boat.

It's a little old place where you can do some slant rhymes.

Airplane.

I got me a Chrysler. It's as big as a whale and it's about to go on sale. I guess that still works. That is a rhyme. I was trying to do a slant rhyme.

Trying to do a slang rhyme, that's hard. God, because all I can do is do great fucking rhymes, just bust rhymes. Bust rhymes are my favorite. So it's about the location. But more about their physical proximity to each other and not about the location. Like it's not the moon.

Is one of them like 10 feet above the other or something? No. It's more about their, would you say, in relationship to each other or their location?

Kind of, but not necessarily the relationship to each other.

Mmm. Are they on a mini golf course?

No, but yes, maybe. Who knows? I'm assuming two guys don't want to ball back and forth through each other playing with mitts. They're on a mini golf course.

Oh, they're in the eye of a hurricane.

Uh, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to see a quick scene. Uh, Adal and Erin, you were on a mini golf course. Uh, you have lost your clubs. You have a long line of people behind you and you're trying your best, but what you're doing is you're picking up your balls and you're throwing them into the hole.

It was a really funny bit. I thought to throw them in the water, I would appreciate it.

Guys, come on. Just give us a second. We're breaking up.

I thought it'd be really funny if I threw the clubs in the water.

But it wasn't. And now I look like a fucking asshole.

Okay, just throw it. Just try to throw it through the hole in the windmill and it'll come out the other side.

Everybody get this on camera.

And then you know what? We'll talk about this at ice cream after we play mini golf. Just throw it.

There is no ice cream.

We're breaking up.

Did you just hike a ball? Ow!

Motherf-

Fuckers! Why'd you hike a football in that guy's face? I'm sorry. You shot it backwards between your legs!

Okay, sorry, I'll just do it ready. Alright, I have my ball, and hoo-hally-oop!

Yeah, okay, dunk.

Scoops. Scoops in the hair.

See, you hiked a football, I just dunked a basketball. Throw your fucking golf ball down.

Okay, here we go. Uh, that, hey. Yes.

Hey, that paper airplane hit my kid in the hair. In the hair? Yeah.

My kid's all hair. Give him a fucking haircut. What's that? Give your kid a fucking haircut. I can't. Both of my arms were taken. Oh, by Liam Newsom?

Look, I'm doing it. You're playing pinball.

Diane, could you just throw your golf ball?

It's happening. She's doing it.

You just spun on the roulette wheel and you won. You hit.

What sound do I need to make to indicate that I threw the golf ball?

Diane, the sound you need to make is putt-putt.

Excuse me, I was about to talk. All right, you guys ready for this answer?

Yes, please.

I think you could get it. I think this is not impossible to get. The two men were not alone. Ted saw a teammate behind Ned and feared that if Ned missed the high ball, then the teammate might be hit by it. A throw directly to someone's body was different, for it would at least be deflected as if it was missed. Ted aimed high so that if Ned missed the ball, it would not hit anyone.

Our bar for good riddles is pretty low. This fucking sucks, dude.

I would.

This fucking sucks.

I would like to see a scene.

Oh, damn it.

I was going to go to our bar for good riddles. That's more important. And then we'll do my scene later.

Great. Okay. So we're going to go to our bar for good riddles. This is all cocktails with riddle puns.

Oh, fuck.

And where are all the bartenders at this thing?

Would anybody like a white riddle?

Very good. Very good.

Let's see.

Do you want some tequila on a block of ice?

You suck. You fucking suck. You suck.

I'll have sex with your mom!

Okay, okay. What else? What else? Would anyone like a lateral thinking tequila? Puzloma? A Miklobe Puztra. This is so fucking hard.

The scene I would like to see is you are two professional baseball players and it's after a game that you lost but more importantly one of you accidentally hit each other with the ball and you're trying to just like not show how sad and hurt you are.

Good game, Rick. Yeah, good game, Rick. I mean, you know, you gave it your all out there. We both did, really. Yeah. Wow. Well, even some of these we're going to lose.

Yeah. You win some, you lose some. I just want to apologize. I feel like when I was at bats, I don't know if you noticed, but I actually caught the ball one handed and whipped it at third base to hit you.

As you were running home, I just got you. You know, crazy things happen on the field, all is fair.

I don't know what got into me, but I didn't want to swing my bat, kind of one-handed, just whipped you right in the face. I don't know if I was trying to do like a rookie of the year kind of situation, but who knows what it is.

And I want to apologize for you because I know that when you were out there as catcher and I was up to bat and I actually stepped back too quickly and Kind of rested my balls on your shoulder. I apologize for that as well.

Well, honestly, I apologize because we're on the same team and I was playing catcher while you were at bat. Yeah, sure. I shouldn't have been there in the first place. I was standing in front of the other team's catcher.

And I apologize too, because I know that I have foul balls.

Four foul balls.

Four foul balls. Yeah. And if you don't mind, I'm going to go to that bar where they do riddles and get a ground rule double.

Sorry, I don't mean to be too straight forward. I don't mean to be bunched, but I would prefer you don't go to that bar. Okay.

Does that make sense? Yeah, I guess if you want me to not go, I won't go, I guess. I could just, you know, the game's over.

Oh, our pizza's done. Home run!

Great, home run pizza. Actually, I'm going to take this to go. I think I'm going to go fly home.

Okay. What does that mean?

Fly ball.

Fly home means fly ball?

We're a baseball team and I'm going to fly away.

Grand Slam. Denny's.

Second base. Am I a part of this?

Yeah, you're a big part of this. You're an important part of this, Erin. You said second base, huh?

Second base.

Second base. Very good. Who's on first? The new who's on first is who's on second. Truly, every idea has been done to death at this point, except.

What if there's a who's on first, but it was all about sex? Please tell me how that goes. Let's just do it. Yeah, OK. Erin and I will do it. OK. You know, sex moves these days, when you're getting far with your significant other, they have funny names these days. If you touch their genitals, that's second base.

Who's on first?

Touch their genitals.

Ah, well, who's on first? Tits. Well, who's on first? Cock-a-ballas. And who's fingers up my butt?

Steven's mom. I dare you. Email us at heyriddleriddle at gmail.com. Is that our email? Sure, why not?

HRR podcast.

HRR podcast. Email us. Do you think someone has... I dare you to fucking poke holes in that.

Do you think someone has heyriddleriddle at gmail.com? Give it to us please. Please, please, give it to us. What if they got a bunch of emails from our fans? Oh god. Maybe. They could.

Email us at hrrpuffandstuff at gmail.com.

This riddle is titled Happy with the TV Ad. A man went to a TV station and bought one minute's worth of advertising time. He handed a videocassette to the station manager and learned to the second exactly when his one minute tape would be on the station. Just before the scheduled time, the man turned on his TV set, tuned in to the correct channel, and waited. At exactly the time for his ad, a test pattern came on. The sound and intense pure tone did not change for a full minute. The picture stayed the same too. Then the man, pleased, turned off his TV set. Explain.

Man was insane.

All men are insane. So I'm in just want to watch the world vote. Yeah, man was insane. So it's just just a solid tone played when the man bought an ad.

This man... His ad was for tones. His ad was for tones.

This is Tony Fatone. This is Tone Loke. So typically that sort of beep is for like going off the air or for what?

Tornadoes. He was selling tornado warnings?

He was selling tornado warnings. He was selling tornado warnings.

All right, Adal, I want to see a scene. You're like an old-timey snake oil salesman? So you've just pulled up? No. Yes. I will not do the premise. You've just pulled up to a town. You've gathered the... like all of the townsfolk have gathered around and you're still like a tornado whore.

All right, folks, gather around, gather around. Now again, my name... What's this here? Okay, what's this here? My name is... Oh, just getting my hair cut at this barber. Are you chanting Trump? Trump. Trouble. Trouble, that's right. There's trouble right here in this little city. Trouble right here with the weather. Weather, that starts with a W. Same as water. Now, you got your flood, you got your mud. Don't be careful. Get your... Trouble with the T. T. Spill the T. I got a gun. Get on the fucking ground.

What's up with these tornadoes, sir?

Oh, he shot the tornadoes. Thank God he saved us all. The tornadoes are dead.

This song's not over.

Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble.

Trouble right here in Santa Fe. Oh no. Here we go away.

J.P.C. Takeover.

Now, on a slice of bread, put that bread in the mouth in your head, and eat that bread in your baby's safe, because you've got my tornado warning system, and I'm selling it for $100. Now who would like to step up and buy one?

That was accidentally a JP Riddle.

Scene? Scene, yes.

And so what's the answer?

What's the answer to this? No, I actually like this one. This riddle does make sense to me, I will say.

Okay, so the long beep and the picture didn't change. The picture didn't change, it was a long-toned beep. It was for Andrew Dice Clay's comedy tour. Oh yeah, expletive. The man is Andrew Dice Clay. Well, you said VHS tape, so I'm just trying to work with you.

It was for his ad was for... Oh, I know, I know, I know. Oh, Erin knows, I love this. He works at a TV place and he wanted everybody to think that their TVs were broken.

That's a really good answer, Erin. That's a really good answer. So that's the answer? Well, no, because after his ad stopped... Their TVs wouldn't be broken anymore.

Yeah, but they were like, ooh, that weird beep was bad.

You know how when you watch your TV and if it doesn't change in 30 seconds, you leave the house to go buy a new TV?

I was like, maybe that worked for some people, but no, that is a really good answer. And Erin's hot burn on millennials. You're like, you are on the right pathway here.

TV repair man.

Trouble. No, not with a TV repair man, but with the, I mean, yes, he wanted people to think. Larry the Cable Guy. Okay, expound upon that?

He wanted people to think they were going insane, or he does hearing for the town.

Yes. So he doesn't do hearing for the town, but he did want people to think something was wrong. Dog whistle. I'm sorry? Dog whistle. Yes, he wanted all the dogs to go fucking crazy. This man is dog king. Dog king wants all the dogs to rise up and kill their masters. Dog king hoti. Would you guys, boy oh boy, sentro poocha. Would you guys like to hear some hints? Okay, here are some hints. Hadn't accomplished damage to the TV station, its transmitter, or anything related to it at all? No. Did the man hope to sell diagnostic TV repair services or TV sets? No, unfortunately. But that was a really good answer because they had a clue for it. Would he have been pleased if the test pattern had appeared at a different time or on another channel?

No. Wait, what was the last one?

Would he have been just as pleased if this same thing had happened at a different time or on a different channel?

No. Um, okay. It happened on Beep TV.

Was he making like one of his rivals look bad?

Yes, Erin.

Erin, yes.

So what would, why would an elongated beep make someone look bad? He's trying to make one of his rivals look bad.

What kind of rival?

Does he sell something? Is he a salesperson?

No. Well, no, not really. Was the rival airing a TV show or another commercial TV show?

Yes. Okay. You're on the right track. I think you guys mostly got it. Okay. So, so repeat back to us what you think. Okay. Okay. So you, you've said he's got a rival and his rival has a TV program of some sort and that's correct. And it wouldn't have been the same if this was on at a different time or on a different station.

So why would a long beep ruin someone's TV show?

Everyone was right with the TV repairman thing because think of what would happen if there was just like a long fucking beep on your TV.

You turn channels.

Yeah.

Change channels.

Change channels. So the answer to this riddle is that this person is a, well I'll just go ahead and read the exact text.

Here's the thing is like I'm so fucked from that bulb question that something as simple as changing channels didn't occur to me because I'm trying to think along the lines of like Bill Nye.

Can I be honest with you? I almost just read the answer to the bulb one again because it's on the same page. No, so the answer. The man was a political candidate running for local office. Tipped off that his rival had bought a 30-minute infomercial time slot he bought the minute before and broadcast a test pattern hoping to induce TV viewers not to continue watching that particular channel.

Okay, this guy sounds sexy.

That's fucking next level shit.

I want to see a back and forth ad campaign. You're both running for mayor of Indianapolis and you're just going to go back and forth with your competing TV ads. JPC, you're going to start us off since you have hometown advantage.

Great. Shadeland Avenue. The Circle. One America Plaza. Indianapolis is one of my favorite towns and it's because I know three things about it. So why don't you Know a thing about me. I'm JPC and I'm running for mayor.

I'm Genevieve Squiggles, and I'm running against JPC for mayor of Indianapolis, Indiana. Things I know about it. Pretty... Not a lot of facts, not a lot of famous people from here, but mostly I'm going against JPC because he hurt my feelings once in the drive-through of an Arby's.

Hi, I'm Kurt Vonnegut. I just wanted to pop in here to say I am from Indianapolis and very dead. But I recorded this years ago on the chance that someone running for mayor would not remember that the author of such great hits is Night Mother and Cat's Cradle.

I'm Genevieve Squiggles back here again to say that Kurt Vonnegut's son was my doctor. And I'm not even kidding.

JPC and I would just like to point out how ridiculous it is that I'm running for mayor against a person whose hair is vermicelli pasta. Uh, Justine Squiggles is a cartoon character drawn by a little girl.

I'm Genevieve Squiggles, here to say I may be a cartoon character run by little girls, drawn by little girls, but my name is Genevieve Squiggles.

Hi, I'm JPC. Let me just say that first of all, I was in the right because I met that Arby's to get fucking curly fries and this cartoon character yoinks the bag from me.

Hi, my name is Marcus. I'm eight years old. I have a paper airplane stuck in my hair. If you can help me, please let me know.

I'm Genevieve Squiggles and I'm I am gonna win.

So come November 8th, vote for the candidate who can make the biggest difference in Indiana. House comes spelled. C-U-M and I wink at the camera. I'm JPC and that stands for Just putting cum at my political advertisements. Genevieve Squiggles. Genevieve Squiggles. Oh boy, oh boy, Genevieve Squiggles. What a home run of a character for you, Erin. I can't wait till she comes back in a big way.

She'll never come back in anyway.

I don't know, I think she might. I think she might come back. So I wanted to end with one last riddle. This is from our friend Tyler. Tyler loves the show. They really enjoy the podcast and they wanted to send a riddle based on something that actually happened to them in their life. They say hopefully it won't be too easy or aggravatingly hard. So yeah, we hope that as well. As long as it doesn't involve fucking circuitry Tyler, you probably end the right on this one. In the heart of a quiet Pennsylvania town, there was a small but somewhat successful pizza shop. Since the area was not densely populated, the majority of the delivery orders came from a frequently busy hotel near the highway. One day, the shop's new hire was put in charge of writing down the orders that came in, and wanting to give a good first impression, they were very thorough as to get every detail correct. However, when it came to delivering to the hotel in particular, the drivers would take longer than usual finding where exactly they had to go. The owner asked them about it, so they showed him the delivery slips and pointed at the address. Reading a few of them aloud, he said, The manager took a second to realize the issue and chuckled, promising to work more closely with the new person.

What happened? Two were ordered by bingo cards and one was R2-D2.

Unfortunately, that is the answer. Tyler's an insane person.

Thank you. Were they trying to sink a ship?

No, it was not a battleship thing. It's really about delivering pizzas to a hotel and those addresses do matter.

What if my new nickname was Adal Ship? Is that fun? Yeah. Do we like Zadarans or Adal Ship?

Do I like Zadarans or Battleship? A real question you asked me in 2019 was, do I like Zadarans or Battleship? Adal ship. Adal ship. Adal context, that's awesome. Could you read the numbers again?

4356 George Lane B6, 4356 George Lane 4B, 4356 George Lane R2. So B6, 4B, R2. Hmm. Is it like that's actually part of their order or those rooms? Forget it.

No, I like that. I like that. It's not like their room number. Hints. There are some hints from Tyler. Did the new person write down the accurate information? Yes. Had the delivery drivers been to the hotel before? Yes. Did the hotel use letters as a way of labeling rooms or areas? No. Okay. They did not use letters to label rooms or areas. Okay, so 4B means a four-year-old boy.

What was the other one?

This pizzas for B6, 4B, R2. B6 is a sexy B. B6. You're right on the money with R2-D2.

I don't know.

So the employee did try to write down these things accurately and did, but the hotel does not use letters in any way.

Guys, I think we're bad at riddles.

Okay, okay, I'll give you a hint. The things that matter are B and R. Be an R. Do you guys have pencil and paper in front of you? Yeah. Okay. I want you to write down a B and an R. I don't have a pen. And take a solid line. Erin, just trace it with your mind. And Adal, you can give Erin your pen so she can write down a B and an R as well.

Capital or lower case?

Capital. Lower case. Not lower case. Capital doesn't matter.

Okay.

They're pretty similar.

I'm trying to draw a heart. B and an R. B and an R. So this is like two cul-de-sacs?

No, B&R. So they don't use letters in any way.

They're 13 and 12.

12. Erin, yes, exactly. The answer is the new person had poor handwriting, so when they wrote the numbers 1 and 3 next to each other, it combined to look like a B. They did the same for 1 and 2, which combined to look like an R. Tyler, I hope you got fucking fired from that pizza place. You fucked up.

Tyler, guess what? Call your mom. She's not going to answer because you know why?

I'm falling in love with her on a freaking picnic.

Oh my God, Erin. I hate to break it to you, but that's Andrew's mom. Tyler's mom has been a ghost this whole time. Enjoy having your name read on the podcast, Tyler. You're fucking famous now. Thank you so much for sending us that little ritty and puzzy. Speaking of puzzies, Adal, do you have anything that you want to pose?

There's a few things I want to pose. First of all, I want to promote theirs at the Chicago Podcast Festival on October 18th. I'm going to be the guest for a live episode of the JV Club, which is hosted by Janet Morrif Varney, one of our favorite guests and favorite people. It's going to be at Chicago Theatre Works again on October 18th at 7 p.m. So look up tickets for that part of the Chicago Podcast Festival. Also, little baby Erin Squiggles and myself are going to be doing a show as part of the Grand Rapids Improv Festival Friday, October 25th at 10 p.m. in Grand Rapids. So come see Erin and I do a show at 10 p.m. And the next morning, Saturday, October 26th, we're gonna each be doing a workshop. So maybe sign up for our workshops as well. Come check that out and yeah, should be fun.

I would just like to plug, keep going online and buying our merch from our Tea Public store. Now, I can't say too much about it right now, but some of the merch that's in that store right now might not be around forever. And, you know, maybe think about that. Is our merch sick? Yes, our merch is very sick. Jesus. Our merch is a horse. It's sick, dude.

Our merch is sick.

We're going to turn our merch into glue. But our merch is just going to a farm upstate, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a nice place where merch can just get murdered in a very peaceful place.

Oh, we're bad parents. You can always send us Riddle submissions at hrrpodcast at gmail.com. If you want to follow me, you can follow me on Twitter, at JPsofly, on Instagram, at sharkbarkman. Someone, by the way, tweeted at me, what is your Instagram handle? Because I've listened to every episode and I don't know how to find you. It's shark, like swimming in the ocean, and barkman, like a thing that rhymes with shark. That's it. And that's my Instagram handle.

Come see Adal and I. I think that'll be really, really fun to have some Hey Riddle fans of that show. And then also follow me, Erin Keif 10, on Instagram. I have a new web series that will maybe be out by the time you hear this. And I think you should go watch it. I'm really proud of it.

And I also forgot to mention that you should definitely listen to the Neoscum podcast. It's my favorite actual play podcast. And if you really, really, really want to piss off the wrong people, tweet at the creators of the Neoscum podcast or their account, begging them to have me on the show. It is so far, it has not worked out for me. I know that they probably have a complicated recording schedule, would love to go on that show, have not been asked.

And JPC, in competition, you actually started your own Matrix-themed podcast called Neo's Come.

Is that right? Yeah, exactly.

I love it!

Yes, I've started my own Neo's Come podcast.

I also want to be a Neo's Come.

And I've also started a spin-off podcast called Moist Trinity. Ew.

Erin, just say Jupiter. Jupiter, let's get the heck out of here.

This has been Hey Riddle Riddle, created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan.

Casey Tony did the editing, and already parents in the music.

By Emily Cardenas and Emma Inamortis.