Which Riddle Riddle?

Bark bark bark, JPC. Me hungry.

Adal, we've talked about this, my man. If you do that, I will feed you, but it will be dog food.

That's fine.

Okay, I mean, I think I know what's going on. You want the dog food because you know that I use Ollie dog food.

Rough rose.

Ollie's fresh recipes are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best meals with the highest quality ingredients for dogs. Now, I gotta say, Adal, you can eat it. I don't think you're gonna like it as a human. This is specifically for dogs.

It just looks and sounds so good. Also, with Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check in on your dog's health with real vets. Just by uploading a picture of your dog, not of your Adal, their team can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, coat, all because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is as healthy as can be.

I wonder what happens if I upload a picture of Adal. Let me just try it now. They said, oh, they said, this dog is very sick. Take this dog. Take this dog. It says to a people hospital. I switched to Ollie, I tried it out, my dog Spaghetti absolutely went nuts for Ollie. She is a dog, one of these types of dogs, I don't know if you've heard of, have you heard of these types of dogs? She's the type of dog who you can like put the food in her bowl and then she'll just like see it in there all day and only eat it when she's hungry. Now, when it's time for dinner, at about four o'clock every day, she comes up and starts snapping at me like, hey man, get the Ollie out of the fridge, put it in the bowl, dude, you gotta be getting faster at this. She absolutely loves it and it's the first food that I've ever given her that she actually seems to be interested in. So get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to Ollie.com slash Riddle, tell them all about your dog, and use code RIDDLE to get 70% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O-L-L-I-E dot com slash Riddle. And enter code RIDDLE to get 70% off your first box. Can't confirm the promo code works because I used it. I used my own promo code for my own podcast. That's how much I like the product.

Oh, shoot. I just remembered I buried some bones in the backyard. And by bones, I mean Erin. Let me go dig her up.

Oh boy. Ollie, feed the obsession.

This is a HeadGum Podcast.

Uh-oh! Live show alert! We have a live show coming up Friday, August 16th in Chicago, Illinois.

Holy crap!

Giordano's!

The Millennium Bean!

The Cubs!

It is at Shuba's, which is a very cool bar. It's an 18 and over show. Tickets are $15. And if you want to get tickets now, you can go to lh-st.com and search for the Hey Riddle Riddle show. Or just go check out our Twitter, because it's going to be pinned on top of that Twitter, baby.

You know it, boy. And y'all asked for some weekend shows. We're providing a weekend show. This is Friday, August 16 at 9 p.m. The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Oh, and we're gonna finish.

It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an icicle. And the worst thing Friday.

Hey all you idiots, it's Hey Riddle Riddle, I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And welcome to another episode of Hollywood Nights. Better L.A. than never.

Yeah, and Hollywood Nights is a great thing to call this episode specifically because of who our guest is.

Which is one of our favorite podcasters.

Yes.

And they do a little podcast called Hollywood Handbook.

Yes.

Hayes Davenport. Welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me to HeadGum Studios.

Can you say the name of the podcast?

This podcast, it's called Hey Riddle Riddle. No, again, I just do the whole thing. Open up the back of my throat and just drop it in.

This is Adal's classic setup to get you to watch him eat a full popsicle. Yeah, this is how it's done.

My teeth hurt just thinking about that.

I'm famous on YouTube. Hayes, thank you so much for being on. What is your relationship with riddles? I know you said you've never heard a riddle, but if you actually have, what's your...

I remember in the never-ending story they did one where I think it might have been the four legs, two legs. You guys done? I don't want to spoil it. Are we doing that this episode? The Sphinx Riddle? Fuck! That's the only riddle we prepared.

It's Lieutenant Dannon's answer.

There were some, I mean I've seen a couple in movies. I don't have a strong relationship with riddles, but I'm really looking to develop one. You came to the wrong place.

Do you have a strong relationship with your siblings? You're approaching this like it's a job interview.

What's your best quality?

Where do you see yourself in five riddles?

Out the door? What's your source?

We, uh, I mostly pull, there's a guy named Paul Sloan who's like the, the, the king, high shit King Riddle.

Yeah.

So he's written like 30 books. So cool. If you, on Amazon, if you type in Riddle, he's written like 30, 50 books. There's a book called the Bible. Yeah. Maybe you've heard of it. That's our source of truth for this podcast. A lot of quandaries in the Quran. Muhammad poses a lot of riddles. But Paul Sloan and then also, what's the stories with holes in them? Nathan Leiby. Yeah, which is, they're all garbage, but yeah. I think these are all Paul Sloan classics.

You prepared Paul Sloan classics for today?

I think these are mostly Paul, oh I'm sorry, Paula Deen classics. This is a lot of butter.

Can't wait.

So we're going to do some warm-up riddles, so that's just going to be probably quicker, shorter riddles. The stakes are low, so Hayes, if at any time you know the answer, just shout it out. A lot of times guests will know the answer and not say it because they'll think that we're stalling for time or trying to do bits.

But we don't know it.

We just don't know the answer. So if you know it, please shout it out. Don't feel like you're raiding on our parade.

We're just bad at riddles. Got it.

So we're going to do three warm-up riddles that are what am I riddles. So these are going to be what am I riddles.

OK. What if you don't know who you are?

What if you don't have a strong sense of self?

Yeah, what if you're still discovering yourself and what your whole brand is? Self-doubt.

Self-doubt. Self-doubt. Here we go. I am something that is lighter than a feather and yet harder to hold. What am I? Smaller feather. Oh, a sneeze. That's a great answer. Good answer. Let's see sneeze on the board. And you're a Foley artist, right Erin? What does a horse sound like going upstairs?

Never repeated a sneeze.

She's got one good sneeze in her. What is lighter than a feather, but still a riddle? And yet harder to hold. Light. Oh, a fart. Because holding a fart is one of the most difficult things that you could do.

Here's what I'll say, you're warm, red hot almost, but it's... A burp. A mouth fart. A burp?

I guess it's your breath, which is... Okay, so that's technically right.

I would say breath is a mouth fart. Yeah, and I would say fart is technically right because you're a big fart breath cattle and that's the answer.

Oh, and it's harder to hold your breath. Is it harder to hold your breath than it is to hold a feather? I'm not sure that's true. The person that wrote this riddle... How windy? Yeah, where geographically... I guess for like a certain amount of time. Yeah. I could do it for long.

You're in one of those, you're in one of those like car dealership money booths that just spits that money around all over the place with an air blower. So that would make it impossible to hold a feather and pretty hard to hold your breath.

I'd like to see a scene. Hayes, I'm going to have you be the best magician of all time, Houdini.

Great. I did a report on him in elementary school where my dad came in and held me upside down. Really? Did you pass out?

That was the last day I ever saw my dad, too. My dad came in, punched me in the stomach, I died three days later.

Houdini.

So you're gonna be Houdini. JPC, you're gonna be a fan of Houdini after the show, trying to figure out how he held his breath in that milk tankard. Milk? Didn't he famously hold his breath in a milk tankard? In milk? What's a milk tank? Well, it's like a cracker barrel. Yeah, it's like a cracker barrel, not necessarily full of crackers.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah, I got it. Ready? Okay.

I got a question for you. I'm sorry, I'm a huge fan.

Yeah, do you want to punch me in the stomach real quick? Sorry, I usually don't start a conversation.

I would love to. I actually thought about punching you in the back when I walked up to you, but I was like, okay, so I may... Yeah, I mean, just let me get ready first.

Okay. But then, yes. Okay. Okay. Just you give me a... Okay. Okay. Okay. This is gonna hurt so bad. Okay. This is you ready? Nope. Nope. Nope. Just give me one second. Okay. Yeah, no, no.

Take your time. Okay. Okay. You'll be fine. Are you talking to me? No. Okay. I'm sorry. You got somewhere to go? Yeah, I actually have a table at Cracker Barrel across the street.

You have a reservation at Cracker Barrel?

They do them for me. I've gone enough times that I have a Cracker Barrel rewards card, and they do hold reservations for me.

Okay.

Normal people can't get them. Ready. Okay. Okay. Ready?

Oh, that's great. That went great.

Okay, well, I mean, I just didn't have a ton of time to prepare either. I could do a better punch.

Did you want to have time? Like, maybe instead of talking, when we were preparing for this, you could have taken the time to prepare.

This is a weird request, but I'm so much better at kicking than punching. Would you mind if I kicked you in the stomach? I actually have a reservation to milk tank you.

Didn't get to the question.

I think I got my answer.

I'll take my answer off mic.

Here's another what am I warm-up ready. I am something that is too much for one, enough for two, but nothing at all for three. What am I? Marriage.

Love. Too much for one.

I'm a Polly.

Advocate. Want a Cracker Barrel? Yes. Polly, what a marriage. It's an order of egg rolls where there's only two.

It's in order of regular, no, it is something that is too much for one, enough for two, nothing at all for three.

Nothing at all for three. Enough for two, too much for one. Boy oh boy. And it's not tangible.

Okay. So egg rolls are off the table.

I would eat an egg roll off the floor, I'm fucking sure. How long has it been on the floor? A few seconds? Two days. Two days? Hell yeah! There's nothing in there that spoils.

There's wheelbarrow races. Can you explain that?

Human wheelbarrow.

Is that what you're saying?

Too much for one, enough for two, nothing at all for three. Often the answer to a riddle is a hole.

A hole, an egg, the wind, silence, and ice. That's also how you make a shitty Captain Planet. Hole!

Ice!

I think my answer is closest.

Okay, you'd be wrong. So this is something that's not tangible. Okay, not tangible. Love. Too much for one, enough for two, nothing at all for three. Masturbation. No.

69.

But those two things, you might do this with those two things. I guess with masturbation specifically. Love. You would keep it this. You would keep it this? Masturbation. 72 degrees. Privacy.

Privacy.

Secrets. It's too much for one person and enough for two, but nothing at all for three. So once a third person knows the secret, it's no longer a secret.

Is that true?

Which we saw in Game of Thrones.

If that's true, I need to make four phone calls.

Let's do one more warm-up. Riddle?

Great. I feel great.

I am something that is filled every morning and emptied every night, except once a year when I am filled at night and emptied in the morning. What am I? Chamber pot. Piss and shit. Once a year, filled at night, and emptied in the morning. But every other day of the year, it's filled every morning and emptied every night. Oh, I know it. It's a Christmas thing. It's a Christmas thing, right? Is it a Christmas thing? It is. Yeah, I know it. Have we had this before?

No.

No, but I figured it out at the same time.

But I was just already thinking about Christmas, so this worked out.

Well, let's stare at Hayes until... Erin, you're always thinking about Christmas, right?

You have a constant Christmas monologue going in your head? It's like a Macy's Christmas out of my head all the time.

And you are kind of Tim Allen-ing into a Santa Claus, correct?

Yeah.

Well, that's just my hormones.

What a polite way to say somebody's gaining weight. Like, oh, Bethany, are you Tim Allen-ing?

I am going gray at the rate that he does in that movie. My mom was fully gray by 30. So is that true? Yeah, I'm like ready to go.

That's like Jean Grey level shit. Yeah, that's crazy. So you have six more years, huh?

No, I'm older than that.

I just want to clarify, was Jean Grey known for having gray hair? Is that why she's called that? I don't remember that being the case.

Maybe?

Yeah, Storm had more gray hair than Gene.

Yeah, that's true.

Rogue's got a big white streak. And we can all agree, Jubilee is just garbage, right? Yeah. Yeah. Fireworks is not a power.

On the 4th of July it is. Alright. Alright. Alright, Erin.

This is a Christmas Riddle, not a 4th of July Riddle. Okay, yeah, Christmas. The Christmas Jug. I grew up in a Unitarian household. We didn't really have these exclusive religious traditions where we worshipped God. Unitarian is Christmas or chicken and fish.

GPC and Erin, do you want to say the answer on three? One, two, three. Christmas sock.

Stocking.

It's a stocking. So every morning you fill it and empty it every night with your feet. And then once a year you hang it by the chimney, if you're rich as hell. This riddle implies that you go around wearing a Christmas hat.

Every other day of the year until it's time to hang it up.

I didn't take it that way.

You said filling a sock and I thought you meant like jerking off into a Christmas sock. In the morning. You know when your mom does the laundry and she finds your Christmas stocking and it's all stiff?

She can't open it.

That's the one that you hang above? And then at night you just dump it out. It's like pouring sand out of a boot. You let 16 hours go by, then you dump it. It's a bad podcast, right? Yeah, just everyone in your mind's eye, picture the viscosity of Kahn and Asar.

I don't think you need to.

We'll see. You don't tell our listeners.

I think you were having an okay day before this, and I don't think we need to ruin it.

We're going to transition into our main course, Puzzies and Ruddies. I can only assume if people are listening to this, their day is horribly off track.

They've been kidnapped and someone's playing this.

You're at a psychopath's dungeon. Carey Elwes is there. A man is putting lipstick on in front of a mirror listening to a Riddle podcast.

Tugging his dick between his legs. I feel like the funniest thing, on Twitter every once in a while we'll get people who are listening to this podcast in a public place and their headphones fall out or something, and then it blasts the audio for the whole train to hear when it's in the middle of JPC saying like, I'll have the cum sandwich or something. A lot of people have lost their jobs. Here we go. Here's our first main puzzle. Adults are holding, this is another, I won't say it because that'll ruin it. Adults are holding children, waiting for their turn. The children are handed, one at a time usually, to a man who holds them while a woman shoots them. If the child is crying, the man tries to stop the crying before the child is shot.

Christmas theme again. Wow, not loving the gendering.

Classic Riddle thing.

Of both, I guess, the elf and Santa Claus. That's true.

And it says a woman shoots them, so it's... The elf is a woman?

My argument is the elf has to be a man.

Will Ferrell, hashtag Will Ferrell.

And that's my argument. If I see an elf, I'm pulling those pants down and looking at the genitalia, because I want to know.

Did you know that elf was originally cast with Delta Burke? Is that true?

I did not know that. It could be a lie. It is.

I'd like to see a scene. Yes. And the three of you are in line to see Santa, and one of you really wants to spill the beans about him not being real.

Okay, great.

What are you guys going to ask Santa for? I brought this Sears catalog and I circled with a marker everything I want, so I'm just going to hand him the catalog and hope he makes good.

Oh, you just circled all of the people that could be your dad's faces?

Yeah, all I know is two things about my dad. He was a male model and he threw footballs. So one of these 14, I narrowed it down to 14 men. This one is Brett Favre, so I don't think it's him. Couldn't be. Yeah.

And this is an advertisement for football? Huh? Okay. Just in the catalog.

You can buy football in the Sears catalog now. I mean, I didn't know that's what it says.

What? Yeah, you can buy football.

What about you, Brian? What do you want for Christmas? Yeah, I mean, honestly, like that, like my understanding is there's a lot of stuff left. Yeah, like that is just sitting there after all the toys have been delivered. And just as like a wholesaling opportunity. I think that there's like a lot of a lot of options. Yeah, this goes over stuff.

They basically put this all into strip mall retail outlets throughout the rest of the year, and then people can buy it at a reduced price. So that's probably a good get. You're probably going to get some top shelf stuff at a lower cost.

And a hand cart to get it out. I also need that. And a truck.

16 wheel truck. 16 footer at least. Maybe a 24.

Brian, I hate to ask you this in line, and it's the season, but are you poor? Are you poor?

Uh, again, such a great question. And I just love, by the way, can I just say I love catching up with you guys like this every year. It's so crazy. It's so great of our one opportunity to do this. Well, we miss you at school.

Once you got taken out of school because of what you were wearing, all those burlap sacks, we miss you.

We miss you so much.

And the lice, and the course of lice. But you look good with a shaved head.

You look great with a shaved head. A lot of people would make them look like a white supremacist, but for you- But you look like Michael Chiklis. Thank you! Who does not look like a white supremacist?

You have to admit, it's December now, and this is burlap sack season. If you guys are seeing me in May and September, sometimes September, of course, it can be really hot. The burlap is not great, and I have to be taken out of school for heat exhaustion. But right now, I'm thriving.

Yeah, another thing was school was more than just May and September. So it was weird just seeing you for like 60 days.

That makes sense.

Aren't you kids a little old to sit on Santa's lap? You look like you're 15. I'm 26.

Yeah, who are you calling kid?

That is bleak. Two of those people still believe that Santa exists.

In my mind's eye, I pictured Hayes with glasses that were made from sticks and then just had Saran wrap over them. Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle Riddle There was another answer to this, and I love when Riddles say that there's two answers, because it means that they're not sure, like they poorly constructed it. The other answer is, or the man is a doctor and the woman is a nurse who is giving the child injections. Yeah, okay.

But that implies that there's like this line of parents just one by one handing off their children for injections.

This is the apocalypse.

Yeah. This is a measles outbreak and now everyone's rushing to get vaccinated. Vaccinate your kids, everyone.

Or don't. Or don't. Get attention.

Next riddle here. A man is alone on an island with no food and no water. Castaway. Yet he... That's what it is.

Wilson. Wilson the volleyball. Easy. Very easy one.

Man fuck the volleyball. He used ice skate kill fish. A man is alone on an island. It's Andy Samberg. A man is alone on an island with no food and no water, yet he does not fear for his life. Why?

When he says he's alone on an island, it's E-Y-E. He's at Island, the optometrist discount store, and he's not afraid because he knows he's going to get a great deal on glasses. There's food and water elsewhere. It's Gilligan. He's on the set of a TV show, and he can just go to Crafty as soon as they call cut and get Donuts and candy and water. I'll take it, let's move on.

He wasn't alone. Famously. Fuck, famously. That show was tested. But it was his island. And they had tons of food all the time. They lived great.

It was coconut phones and coconut beds. And that's Marianne Died From Gout, right?

Yes, absolutely.

That's well known.

All right, on an island, all alone, no food or water, but he's not afraid? He's not afraid for his life. He's delirious.

What's the wording at the beginning?

A man is alone on an island with no food and no water, yet he does not fear for his life.

Because he's a boat.

Is he dead?

He's a boat. How'd a boat get there?

The man's a boat. He's a boat. I want to see a scene. This is a clear rip-off, blatant rip-off of Knight Rider. Sure. Only this is Day Boater. So this is Day Boater, Hayes will be the voice of the boat. Okay. Okay. David Hasselhoff, JPC, or no, the teacher, Mr. Feeney from Right? Hasselhoff was the driver. Yes, I'm sorry. JPC, you'll be the captain of the boat. I thought you were making me Mr. Feeny in this scene. I was like, what is this?

That would be a deep zigzag. What do you want to see?

So Hayes is the voice of the boat. JPC, you're the Hasselhoff role. You're the solo captain of the boat. Got it. And you solve crimes.

And I solve crimes. Oh, what's my boat's name? This show's called Dayboater. Yeah, it's called Fuckface.

The USS Fuckface.

Alright, FF. We got a real mystery on our hands.

Okay, I'm hoping this is a water-based mystery. I just wanna... Well, I mean, we'll go with... So many times we have started to have this conversation and then this is something that I cannot help you with because it's a land-based mystery.

We'll go with the Clues Lead Us. Now, this woman is here because her husband has been kidnapped.

My husband has been kidnapped and it wasn't me.

Okay.

I'm not the one who kidnapped my husband. I didn't have anything to do with it.

Great, okay.

Helping you get my husband.

We would never assume. Now, where was your husband last seen? And please say the water. Please, please, please say the water.

He was in an airplane.

Okay. Okay, FF, that's not necessarily bad.

Over a desert.

Okay, oh boy.

But then it took a turn.

Yes, okay, we're back in.

And we were by a lake, but the lake was dry.

Hey Riddle Riddle That's what I thought we were doing.

We have a 42-minute show to film, so would you solve the mystery? Again, and I preface this saying I knew you wouldn't like it. I accept your preface, but work with me here, okay? Can we at least red herring it? Can we think about just another angle that this could have gone? Okay. I mean, she obviously kidnapped and killed her husband. She's covered in blood. She's got a knife in her purse.

But it could be that suspicious old man over there.

It's all- that man works at the dock. We try to use him every episode. It's never him.

Brad Herring! His name is Brad Herring.

He's a pervert for sure. You're an old pervert, right?

That's right.

But he's not a killer. Adal, you didn't want to play the pervert on the dock?

We're so sorry. We keep making you old perverts on docks. We're so sorry.

You dress this way when you come to record. You're gonna be an old pervert.

My mom listens to this show and she's real upset with you too. Any ideas what's going on with this situation? Oh, I forgot we were doing another riddle.

God damn it. That is a really tough one. An island. Is this gonna be one where I'm pissed?

Oh yeah. It's all like lateral thinking where it's like, it was actually this situation. Okay, okay. Is the island a literal island? Or is it like an every man has an island metaphor island?

It's a gull-a-gull island.

It may not be the dictionary definition of an island, but it is an island.

Is, like, food and water, like, available in another spot? Can they get off the island?

Absolutely. They can get off the island? And where, like, there's no water involved in any of this? Is this, like, a traffic island? It is a traffic island. Okay. And I feel like I've solved it.

The word for word, yeah. The island is a traffic island. Which I, this may be an original thing. I feel like I always call those median, what is it? Medians? Yeah. The stretch of land in between two worlds.

Well, so you didn't grow up in Neverland like me. I was taken as a boy to fall a whimsy.

With your little top hat and stuffed animal from your bed in England.

Your therapist strictly said to never say the phrase, I was taken as a boy.

The guy's not scared for his life. There's cars everywhere. Cars are scary. If he steps forward at the wrong time, he's dead. Cars are like man-made water.

Hayes brings up a great point. Is this man going to eat and drink the cars? Thank you so much for bringing this up.

Cars are the sharks of land. Remember when Chevy Chase bought that car in SNL?

They can't stop driving or they die.

Oh yeah. Yeah, Range Rovers famously can't stop driving or they'll die.

And little bicycles clean the teeth of the car. That's why they're so bad for the environment. They're single-use.

They're like tissues.

You can tell you're poor because you don't think cards are single-use.

Next puzzle.

Oh boy, next puzzle.

A woman came home with a bag of groceries, got the mail, and walked into the house. On the way to the kitchen, she went through the living room and looked at her husband who had blown his brains out.

Jesus Christ! What the hell?

I feel like I was not prepared for that. She continued to the kitchen, put away the groceries, and made dinner. What's going on?

Now these I like and I can say I do have a history with. Well, I don't think of these as riddles. These are like lateral thinking puzzles. This is an obituary. Oh, okay, got it. So we're not doing the riddles anymore? This, I read a ton of books of these when I was a kid. Like lateral thinking problems? Yes, I love these. Now, he blew his brains out. I have a friend named Nick Weiger who can do this. It's a rare skill, but that's my answer.

Presumably, his wife is so familiar with his ability to do this that she wouldn't give it a second thought.

And we shot in the kitchen, but she knows not to talk to him while he is doing this.

She also goes about her business knowing that he probably already had a full meal for his podcast earlier, so he's not interested in dinner.

He's a doughboy, so he doesn't eat.

Yeah, she doesn't need to talk to him about dinner. Yeah, boy oh boy. OK, that's got to be the answer, right?

That is not the answer. Whoa, interesting. A hint is to think about the timing of everything.

Say again? The whole thing?

I feel like a waiter who just read the specials. Clams. I didn't mention clams. Clams, period.

She's in an urn.

Yeah, it's a picture of him.

It's a portrait of him over the fireplace.

The husband had killed himself some time ago. The wife was looking at his ashes in an urn on the mantelpiece.

I got bad news for her and the writer of this riddle. There's all kinds of other shit mixed up in there. That's not your husband. Yeah, that's mostly salt.

You could put that on breakfast and it would be fine.

She seems really nonchalant about her husband being dead. I think she killed him and made it seem like suicide.

Well, there's a detective and a boat that are still working on this. They're like 35 minutes away from solving this. Also, I like to imagine that it's not an urn, it's a portrait of him doing it.

To commemorate that moment forever. Otherwise, why would you phrase it that way? I'd like to see a scene. Erin, you are a wife who just came home. JPC, you're a husband in the living room.

Classic character for being a wife that's just come home. I love being a woman. Let's do this.

Let me finish. Let me finish. Just came home from the war where you're a sergeant in the Marines.

Shut up. Just what did you want me to do? Empowerment.

Should we let her have a name for this one? Catherine Wife.

Wait, what was the scene that you said I was in?

So you just came home from Trader Joe's. We'll give them a nice hefty plug. Hoping to get some free frozen Indian food. Please sit us loose chili. JBC, you're a husband who's waiting at home for her and you've been known to pull a prank or two. Okay.

Why, hello, hello.

Hey Riddle

Gorsh, don't this make you horny?

I thought maybe we could... Kathryn, what's wrong?

You love it when I... goofy fuck surprise you. Should I come in now? Is it time to fuck three times?

Is that your brother?

No, it's not. It's Mickey Mouse. Ken is not here.

Ken? Come on out.

Yeah? You know what? Are we just one of those boring couples that just eats Trader Joe's for dinner and we don't have a three-way with my little brother anymore? Is that what we are now? Have we gotten so predictable?

Okay, you invited my mom.

First of all, the situation invited your mom. The situation called for your mom to be here. Do you not love me anymore?

No, I'll go put on my costume. Let's do this.

Oh, she's dressing as Spider-Man. Say it.

Somebody draw that? No. No, I'm joking. Don't do that.

No, please don't. Let's go ahead and take a quick break and we'll come back with more Puzzies & Rays.

Okay.

That's, hey, Adal, that's fine. Well, yeah, I need to verbally get, uh, uh, uh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Whoa, who's that new hunk? He's dressed so well. Whoa, look at him. He is dressed so well.

You guys, you're looking in a mirror.

Oh, I thought that was like Vince Quince or something. Yeah, that's us. We look amazing. I thought that was like Quince Diesel or something.

We look like that?

Yes, it's because you are wearing your new Quince high quality wardrobe staples. Look at you, Adalyn, your 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater. And JPC, you look incredible in this button-down, if I do say so myself.

Wow, our styles are truly timeless, versatile, and designed to become dependable pieces that we will reach for day after day.

Also, everything at Quince is priced 50-80% less than similar brands, and they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. And Erin, you're doing the splits!

Look at me go. And it's not just clothing. Quince brings the same approach to everything they make, from hotel quality bedding and bath to kitchen essentials and thoughtfully designed furniture. They make well-designed pieces for everyday living. I'm about to move, and my Quince cart is filled with stuff that's going to make my home stylish without breaking the bank.

Did someone say Vince Quince?

Whoa!

Yeah, like five minutes ago.

Yeah, like a long time ago.

Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash riddle. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash riddle. Vince Quince out. Bye Vince Quince. Did somebody say Quince Diesel? No. No. Come on, man.

You don't know what you've got until it's gone. You guys, I legitimately had terrible sleep last night. I'm staying in an Airbnb while the AC gets fixed in my place. And guess what? I missed my bed. I missed my Helix mattress. I have a Midnight Luxe. And guess what? I couldn't bring it to the Airbnb with me. I wish I had appreciated it more. I wish I had told it. I wish I had told my mattress.

Did someone say miss my mattress? It's me, the Helix Sleep mascot, Sympathy Steve.

Oh, hey, Sympathy Steve. Did you win Miss My Mattress, the competition?

Isn't he mattress? I did. Sympathy Steve. And while I can't give you a Helix mattress because, you know, that'd be insane if I was just a guy who gave out Helix mattresses, I can say, it sucks what you're going through.

Yeah, it does suck. Helix is the best. They deliver your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. You get a 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. So what's the risk? And they also have the Happy with Helix guarantee. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges.

Whoa, Sympathy Steve, you have a tattoo on your leg. It says, Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. And I won't tell you what that's covering up.

It was worse. But what I will tell you to do is go to helixsleep.com slash riddle for the Labor Day best of web sale that's running now until September 13th. It's 27% off sitewide, and that is exclusive for listeners of Hey Riddle Riddle. That's HelixSleep.com slash Riddle for the Labor Day Best of web sale. HelixSleep.com slash Riddle. I can't empathize with you, but I can sympathize with you.

Did someone say empathy? It's me, Empathy Ed. Hey, man.

They're brothers.

No, we're not.

Hey, Steve.

We're simply not. We're exes.

We don't have time for the lore of this, unfortunately.

And we're back with another episode of Hollywood Nights. Hollywood Nights.

Hollywood Nights. We're all saying it, right?

Erin, can I get 10% less from you? Yeah.

Hollywood Nights. I tried to not use any of my mouth muscles. Hollywood Nights.

That's also how you kiss, right?

Yeah, just totally relax your whole face. Don't move a muscle.

And Erin believes firmly that we don't have to make sounds when we kiss. Humans choose to do that.

You're really doing it right if you start to drool. Just a little drool goes in your mouth. All you can hear is teeth, baby.

It ain't a kiss till I hear the clink of those teeth. Every kiss begins with clink. I would like to just like ADR all of that sound off of movies whenever people kiss and just replace any sound they make with clacking.

Two coconuts, like a wedding toast. Is there a wedding toast happening? Nah, they're making seven minutes of heaven.

That would be unlistenable. And that's coming from someone who records this podcast.

Well, speaking of kissing, let's kiss the tip of this riddle dick.

What?

Is that a fun segue?

Great segue, yes. Very natural.

I had that written down, hoping someone would bring up kids. And if not, I had a puzzle about Gene Simmons.

There's an Erin-shaped hole at that wall.

That Erin-shaped hole looks a lot like Tim Allen turning into Santa Claus.

Come on!

It looks like her exiting needed more power.

I'm getting teased.

Isn't that his catchphrase, more power? From the Santa Claus?

I will have to say something. I think it was the Santa Claus too. I saw it in theaters when I was a child and I remember thinking the beginning of it was so romantic. It was like two 14 year olds almost kissing in the second or third Santa Claus. I remember thinking, this is so romantic. Really? Yeah.

David entered a restaurant where a crowd of people were enjoying a meal.

When the people saw David, they dropped their forks and fled the restaurant.

What happened?

I actually fucking hated that movie growing up. I don't know, I haven't rewatched it, I guess, at all, but I remember seeing it once and being like, I don't like it. I think I was, I wanted it to be more Ace Ventura.

It's his little Nicky, right?

Yeah, what?

Everybody gets one. Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler both got to a point in their careers, at the apex of their careers, I think they were told, like, whatever character choice you want to make. And then Adam Sandler did the little Nicky voice, which is, like, unlistenable. And Jim Carrey gave the cable guy a lisp.

How dare you?

Or it's like Samuel L. Jackson in Kingsman where he's just like, I'm gonna make this choice and you can't stop me because at this point I have all the clout.

Meryl Streep and Julianne Julliard. He's just like, do whatever you want.

Or she's playing the Swedish chef. You know this character is based on a real person, right? Yeah, Mrs. Dunlop. David entered a restaurant where a crowd of people were enjoying a meal.

When the people saw David, they dropped their forks and fled the restaurant. What happened?

So it's a crowd enjoying a meal with forks.

Gotcha.

What's the name of the son of Sam? Berkowitz. David Berkowitz, that's who it is.

Close, it's David Arquette.

Okay, everyone drops their forks.

Is David an animal?

Yes.

I knew it.

Are people animals in your opinion? You ever seen Bojack Horseman?

Yeah.

Yeah. Great. People can be animals, but they have to make a pun.

Is he like a cockroach or something?

Even closer.

A rat. A cockroach. Even closer than what?

I guess earlier Erin said horse, so I'm going off that. So closer than a horse.

I feel like even closer is a way for you to be like, go even closer.

Lean into the mic is what I'm saying. I don't know if you've done this. This is embarrassing. You've got to be right up on it. Marsh, can we stop for a second? So you want to keep like a pinky apart, so put your thumb to your chin and put your pinky up here. This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

I've never done this. So I'm not supposed to put my entire lips over the mic as I'm talking? Unless you're relaxing your whole mouth.

That's also how you want to eat ass. You want to get about a pig heel length away.

Don't say ew. I'm just saying that's too far!

To get away?

No, you've got to relax your whole face. And not use any muscles.

And if you drool a little bit while eating ass, that's the ideal situation. Okay, now we can start recording again.

Yeah, we're speaking of that. So David is a rat?

This creature eats rats for fucking breakfast.

It's a mobster. A lobster?

A raccoon. A mobster. Have you seen that Colin Farrell movie, The Mobster? Where if you don't fall in love, you turn into a mafioso?

Yeah. When he claws his own claws out?

Yeah, claws his own claws out. Just like Tim Allen in the film.

It's wait, it's not a rat? It eats rats?

Mongoose? Cat. Colder. Raccoon. It's a snake, it's a python.

Is it really? Now, yeah, this one does check out for me. If the python got into a restaurant, it probably does have an owner, some creep. Thanks for watching!

My boyfriend used to request to go there for every birthday because he's like, this is decadence.

I used to go there for work lunches. I would like take people. I was like, we're going to go to Rainforest Cafe. You'd make a reservation at like 10, you know, 10 a.m. and you'd show up and there'd be no one there.

I want to see a quick scene. Sure. Hayes, you're going to be one of the authors or critics for Michelin. The renowned French tire company that also does food reviews, famously. And JPC, you are a server at Rainforest Cafe. Obviously you recognize this Michelin critic and you're trying to impress him.

Hello sir, welcome. Have you had a minute to look over the menu? Can I get you another water or refill?

I would like a defense chair. You may not have noticed my body is made of tire.

Oh, I just thought you were kind of Tim Allen Santa Claus.

I am a pile of tire of different size.

We can find you another chair. This table has four chairs. What would any of these do? We could also go get you a chair from the office. They're rolly with wheels on the bottom. Yes, I would like... Aaron Chad. Perfect. We will. We will. We will. We can absolutely accommodate that. Have you had a minute to look at the menu?

Excuse me, sir. My son, he threw up on one of the gorillas up there. I'm really mad at you. I don't know why it's your fault, but I feel like this is on you. Yes, absolutely. It's my son's birthday, too. Fix it quickly.

We will have the gorilla apologize to your son.

Thank you so much.

It is a man wearing a costume. And he will clean that up immediately. And I am so sorry.

Thank you. You'd like our meal for free.

Okay.

And we'll give you a few percent off.

We would like our meal for free.

We'll give you your meal for free.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry. Direct eye contact. Could I tell you about our specials? I would like the toucan! Uh, now we don't have, we don't necessarily have, and yes we can do that.

What is the name of this restaurant? This is the Rainforest Cafe. I would like ze toucan!

Okay, we can bring you a bowl of Froot Loops. That is something, we have like a bacon maple Froot Loop glaze on most of our dishes here. So we could just siphon the Froot Loops off and give you a bowl of that. That's as close to toucan as we could give you.

You can do this.

Sir, I'm so sorry. In the back, Josh. Sir, I'm so sorry. I want to apologize as his manager. I want to also let you know I am French, so we can slip into our native tongue.

Oh, they're kissing. Clank, clank, clank.

My native tongue. Kissing. So yes, David was the name of the python who escaped from the local zoo and found himself entering a crowded restaurant. What a fun backstory. What an adventure for him.

Maybe David just wanted to try that restaurant. Leave the snake alone.

We bought a zoo. We bought a python. Next one here. The man opened the door, screamed, and then was found dead a few minutes later. No gunshots were heard in the area. What happened?

He saw his own reflection.

And I assume, like, we're ruling out any other type of weapon? He was stabbed. Just, like, not a very interesting riddle. It is open to that.

It was a silencer. The guy had a silencer. Yeah, I think we can rule out all weaponry. Okay, so he... Man opened the door, screamed, and then was found dead a few minutes later. No gunshots were heard in the area.

He opened a bathroom stall door. Mike Myers, this fat bastard, was taking a big dump in the stall, and the smell knocked the guy dead. Open elevator shaft.

That's so smart. That's so smart.

Thank you. That's pretty much it. Okay.

Is that it?

Can we just leave it at that? Just so we're all clear, I don't know if Hayes was so much giving an answer to that riddle, but he did say open elevator shaft into his watch.

I just remembered I left it closed. I have a smart house. He's like a Bond villain who's setting a trap right now.

It's a reminder. I have a bar that I need to open early today So the man is falling falling down, but it's not a it's not an elevator shaft Okay, so why would he say open elevator shaft the door was a window and he fell out of a building? No doors a door Okay, falling out of the building is closer the man opened a door screamed and then a few minutes later.

Yeah, he died He expected a porch, but there was no

So I'll say that the people who witnessed this, who were scarred for life, saw him open the door and knew he was going to die, but it took a few minutes for him to die.

Okay, so it was one of those mobile homes that can live on the back of a truck. He opened it up, stepped out, the truck was going like 60 miles an hour down the highway, and he just rolled and got hit by multiple cars.

How Indiana of you to say a mobile home that lives on the back of a truck?

Also, most mobile homes, Adal. Actually, if you'd watch the fucking documentary, most mobile homes are fucking transported.

And the name of that documentary? Most Mobile Homes. M-M-H. Can you give us another hint? Altitude.

Hey Riddle Riddle.

Can I say, speaking of being on a plane, Erin and I got on a plane yesterday to come here to Los Angeles. That's the way that you get here from Chicago, unless you want to take a car or a train or a boat. But there was a man who was on the plane who had a bag of what looked to be pizza. I can't remember, it was like home run in pizza. And he was constantly walking down the aisles after most of the plane had boarded, and he was just like looking for an open seat. And like everyone who saw this man coming, like, Did not want a man who had a bag full of pizza to sit next to them. So I think people were making themselves as big as possible to dissuade him from choosing a seat. And it was like Hot Potato, Russian Roulette, just people panicking not wanting Pizza Man.

I was that man. JPC, you're being really cruel right now. I was protecting you.

And it was a bag of loose squirrels.

Ready for another.

Here we go. A man is returning from Switzerland by train. If he had been in a non-smoking car, he would have died.

A man was returning from Switzerland by train. If he had been in a non-smoking car, he would have died.

No, the cigarettes saved his life. The cigarette saved his life? Yeah, so if he'd been in a non-smoking car, he would have died. So the cigarettes themselves actually saved his life.

Switzerland matters? Uh, no. Okay. Oh, I'm sorry.

Hayes is reading my t-shirt.

All Switzerlands matter.

It's a cause I truly believe in. I know it's offensive, I just don't know how. I know I shouldn't be saying it, and I shouldn't have bought the t-shirt, but I saw it at a duty-free store in the airport and I had to buy it.

Something to do with his health. He would have... Dying?

Yeah, dying has to do with his health. Oh, come on. Does the answer to this riddle have anything to do with it being set in the past? No. No, gotcha. Okay, cool.

Like he would have had a heart attack or something if he didn't smoke a cigarette.

Was he smoking the cigarette? No, but he saw others. He saw others smoking cigarettes. Boy, oh boy. Oh, because there was so much cigarette smoke, there was a laser pointer from a sniper rifle, and he saw the laser coming and ducked down.

Catherine Zeta-Jones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Entrapment.

It's actually the movie Entrapment. And he climbed backwards, and he's real slinky and sexy dancing.

That movie saved his life.

The most sexual pairing, Catherine Zeta-Jones, age 32, and Sean Connery's last movie.

I thought you were going to say Catherine Zeta-Jones, age 32, and Michael Douglas. That's a sexy pairing. What a power move to say you got cancer from eating out your wife.

That was the coolest thing I've ever heard.

Not a hot take, but just reminded me. I don't think we're going to get this, so I'm going to say the answer.

No, fuck you. I'm betting on myself. I think I can get this.

Give me a hint. I'll give you some breadcrumbs.

Can we also have a hint? Eat the breadcrumbs and we'll see where we're at. But also, I have way too much salad.

Just a few more breadcrumbs. I want to make these seagulls explode. So the man is returning from Switzerland from a surgery. That's a hint, number one. And hint number two is that keep in mind that trains go through tunnels. In Switzerland they do.

So someone lit a cigarette in a tunnel and he didn't see it or something?

No, he did see it and that's what saved his life. He saw the lit cigarette in the tunnel. He saw the glowing ember. Because the whole train is black, it's in darkness. If he had been in a non-smoking car and he went through a tunnel, through a mountain, he would have killed himself. And he'd just returned from surgery.

I got it. He got surgery to fix his blindness and he took off his blindfold at the exact moment when they were going through a tunnel. If he had been in a non-smoking car, he wouldn't have seen the lit cigarettes around and he would have, I guess, choked himself to death. Because the surgery didn't work. But it did, and he saw the lit cigarettes.

And famously in the EU, they blindfold their patients. Hayes got it correct.

Yeah, so what happens when you get that surgery is your head is all bandaged. You say, bring me a mirror. They say, no sir, please don't make us. You say, bring me a mirror. And you smash someone's hand in glass.

Super messed up. Blind people are probably like, what the hell?

Probably the hardest and worst riddle we've ever had and Hayes solved it. The man used to be blind. He's returning from an eye operation which restored his sight. He spent all his money on the operation so when the train, which had no internal lighting, goes through a tunnel, he thinks he's gone blind again and decides to kill himself. But before he could do it, he saw the lit cigarette of people who were smoking and realized he could still see.

That parenthetical, which had no internal lighting, is doing a lot of work. A lot of heavy lifting.

We're just supposed to accept that the train has no lights on the inside. So the train that comes back from the blind hospital that specialized in this surgery, we're noticing a lot of the patients don't make it through the tunnel. Do we think that there's maybe a mechanical thing on the train that could... Well, no, we need the train dark. People like their sleep. One more riddle? Oh, yes.

I'd love one.

That's perfect for this show because that's the whole fucking premise. Hayes, I need you to just say that you want a riddle.

I'll take four more.

Legally, if you don't consent to these riddles, we can't give you them.

A man dies of thirst in his own home.

Is he horny?

He's on Instagram.

Nice.

Nice, KBC, nice.

It's the most I've ever wanted. Nice. You can die of that, like a high school kid. If I don't get satisfied at this point, you've been teasing me so long, I could die.

That's why Blue Balls?

I'll be honest, if that can't happen, then the movie that I wrote is absolutely fucking worthless.

No one's gonna buy it. Can we just go around and say, in grade school-ish, or when you were a kid, who was the first celebrity that you had a crush on? Mine was Kathy Ireland. Which dates me.

I think I've said this on the show before, but I wrote fan mail to John C. Reilly. I was in love with him.

I think it was grade school? What movie is this? Chicago?

Honestly, Chicago. I wrote him a letter being like, stop being in movies where women are mean to you. Like, I just want you to be the hero.

But that's his bread and butter.

I know. He's so good at it. I don't know why he's trying to fuck up his career. He's trying to sabotage him.

I think mine was maybe like Jessica Alba from Sin City, but I was in high school. You said rabbit wrong. Yeah. Mine was any cartoon porn that I ever saw. Mine was Lois from Family Guy.

Yeah, mine's probably Lola Bunny or something.

Yeah, I guess if I'm being honest mine was the the Maid Marian Fox from the animated Robin Hood.

Sure.

Mine was the Terminator when he goes into the sauce. Whole head melt off. That was probably when he just robot body sexy to me.

A friend of ours first crush that where she like actively wanted to fuck this person was Richard Lewis.

Oh my god, what?

When she was like 12 and he was in Robin Hood Men in Tights.

He's a sexy man.

Oh, I also liked Atticus Finch. I like, that like stirred me. The character or the? Yeah. I guess Gregory Peck.

I think the first time I ever was horny was just the idea of Boo Radley. Just the concept of Boo Radley got me all hot and bothered.

Oh man.

And then what's his name's performance? Richard Duvall's performance sent you over the top.

You edged, yeah.

Robert Duvall?

A man dies of thirst in his own home. So what's going on here? Man's a fish. Man's not a fish. Fish can't die from dehydration.

The man is a boat. And now he's sobbing mid-season.

Does he have full access to every part of his home?

Yes. Okay. Part of his home might be out of order or malfunctioning, but he has access to every part of his home. I do want to see a quick scene.

We're going to revisit... But I know it now, and if we do a scene, it'll freak it.

We're going to revisit the boat and the detective. So we're back on the USS Buckface. So this is another scene, and you are dying of thirst.

This is it for me, FF. I think I've done my last boat ride. Okay, so I know you hate notes. Hold on, you make me the mean guy who hates notes. I don't want to do I Told You So's either. I do think it was a mistake to try and solve a mystery on land as a boat by just approaching the land really fast. We got MUCH farther than I thought.

Look, hindsight is 50-50. We all understand that, okay?

But, can I have a- But, I'll say now, now that we're in the position we're in, I'll say you can get out of the boat. No. You can. No.

I don't want to.

Just admit there's water right there. I don't want it. It's a fresh water lake.

I don't want it.

Y'all need tips from a pervert?

No, we don't need tips. We all know what that means. It's you showing us the tip of your penis. We're not into it.

Asked and answered.

Red, I am so sorry about the dock.

No, no, no. It'll grow back.

No, not your dick. The dock. You know what, Red? We don't need a pervert right now.

Suck my dock!

It's not gonna happen. FF, can I be honest with you? I've only ever wanted to impress you. I've only ever wanted to look smart in front of you. Oh my god! It feels like you think I'm some sort of fucking idiot. And that nothing that I do is right.

Look, I'm so sorry to hear you say that. I could have worked with a million other detectives. I could have left this at any time. I'm a talking boat. I mean, my shit is in demand. But I chose you, and that's why I want you to live And to go drink just a little bit of the lake so you don't die. Okay. Can you steer us back into the lake? So, I'm on land. Same.

I love the wherewithal of the boat to be like, to know it's worth, to be like, I'm a talking boat. Like, I could have my pick. I've got options. That's fantastic.

Um, shit, I truly now do forget what I was going to say. No, space station. I mean the scene was basically... Space station?

It's not a space station. Fuck! The scene basically was the answer, you just have to word it for me. Houseboat. Houseboat. Houseboat. Middle of the ocean. His home is a houseboat and he has run out of water with an extended cruise.

Yeah, that's good. And, true, you can just drink the salt water, correct? Yep. Spit out the salt. Drink it fast. Drink it fast and piss off the horses.

If you drink it fast, yeah, then you can drink it. Same with anything.

Same with anything. You can drink anything if you do it fast. You can drink fucking rocks if you do it fast.

Are you a Marvel guy? Have you ever seen Quicksilver?

Yeah, his power is he drinks anything super fast.

That's why his name is Quicksilver. It's because he ate all that mercury. Yeah, he drinks Ben Grimm real fast. Gives him his power. Hayes, thank you so much for being on. Truly one of our favorite podcasters, so a big thrill for us.

Thank you so much for having me.

This was a blast. Anything you want to plug or promote?

I have too many podcasts at this point to do that.

Can I say that some of my favorite of your podcasts would be Hollywood Handbook, the Hollywood Handbook Pro version, and Hashtag the Flagrant Ones?

Hashtag the Flagrant Ones is our Patreon exclusive NBA podcast. I'm wearing some merch from it right now that you can't see, but it looks cool. And I also, if you live in LA, I host a local issues podcast called LA Podcasts. There it is. Less funny, but still a little bit.

JP, see anything you want to plug?

Yeah, you can follow me on Twitter at JPsofly. You can follow me at Instagram at sharkbarkman. If you're ever in Chicago, come see one of our improv shows, World News Tonight, every Saturday at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. You can always send us riddles if you have riddles that you'd like us to do on the show to hrrpodcast at gmail.com.

You can listen to my... Erin, you wanna go ahead? No, go ahead. You took a breath in and take a deep breath.

This is the most awkward part of the show every week. We have a specific order and we never fucking get it right.

I'm gonna hold my breath.

I wanna see how hard it is.

No, quick, Erin, hold this feather. This is way easier. You can check out my other podcast, Hello from the Magic Tavern. You can subscribe to our Patreon for Hey Riddle Riddle. It's patreon.com slash heyriddleriddle. $5 a month, gets you new episodes every Friday. So check that out.

You can follow me, Erin Keif10, on Instagram and I'll plug all my shows and stuff there.

Awesome. And Erin, you are famously a detective who lives on a certain planet.

Jupiter!

Bye forever.

Bye. This has been Hey Riddle Riddle, created by Adal Rifai, starring Erin Keif and John Patrick Coan, Katie Snyder's indie editing, and Arnie Perrin's in the music. That was a HeadGum Podcast.