Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

No shit. All Sherlock. I'm Adal Rifai. I'm JPC. And I'm Erin Keif. No, you're not. You're both liars. You know how I always say, no shit. All Sherlock. And you guys usually say like, Adal, you suck a million dicks. You suck. I don't think we say anything.

I think you're saying that to yourself in your own head, bud.

Aye aye. I think it every second of every day.

I'm also pretty sure I'm not just blatantly homophobic on the show. I feel like that's not my beat at all.

I don't know, I don't quite, whatever.

I don't know, it's a recorded podcast. We can go back and listen. DBC's wearing a shirt that has an arrow upwards and says, bag of dicks. But today it holds true. The moniker holds true. No shit, all Sherlock. So today's episode... So wait, you're the liar!

If every other day it's a lie, but today it's true, then we're not the liars, you're the liar.

What's happening?

I don't know anymore.

Oh yes, and we're back.

I'll be right back.

I feel bad.

Oh no, where did he go? He disappeared so quickly. Saddle went away. Oh no.

Oh, it's Pezbot.

Pezbot is here. Uh, unplug. Oh, why does a Pezbot have a plug?

Unplug. I run on batteries. You run on batteries? Pezbot runs on. Give me a second chance. I've been upgraded. I've been upgraded. Here, Erin, I got you a present. He's upgrading on my nerves. This is a little baby robot for you.

Oh, it smells.

Why so wet?

It has little robot shit. It's called a Cryborg.

I don't like it.

Oh, that Cryborg looks nice. Buzzbot, what did I get? I got you Little Debbie's, but I wrote in marker, Little Dabbies.

That's actually pretty thoughtful. Buzzbot.

It's pretty thoughtful, but I thought it was very on brand for you.

JPC, Little Dabbies. Little Dabbies is thoughtful, but you wrote dab on the food, which I can't eat now. I can't ingest marker. Then I guess we're at the stalemate. No, it's fine.

These are stale? No, it's fine.

Buzzbot, can we talk to Adal again? He had a good idea.

I don't know. He's pretty upset.

I know. He was going to do something with Sherlock.

I just asked, would you rather shit on me or shit on Adal? Because I can go and he can come, but just let me know who you want to shit on.

This feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Right out of the gate, we were like, hi, I'm Adal. I'm JPC and Erin. And you were like, you shit on me.

Just so you know, we're on your side from the get-go. Friend? Yeah, we're always your friend. Best friend? Well, best friend. That's a bunch to stretch.

You lose the point. I can't stretch. I have no ligaments. Are you sure you're not, Adal?

Okay, Puzbot, what was Adal's idea?

Yes, Puzbot, we actually want to ask you, if you wouldn't mind, if we apologize, would you go and tell Adal and see if he can accept our apology?

Yes, Adal's idea was that it's no shit all Sherlock, and this time it was literal where you are solving all Sherlock home cases.

Oh, cool!

I'm glad that's the literal direction that we went, and not something where we do something with shit. I can't shit, so it's still literal. I, Puzbot, cannot shit.

I'm ready to get started on Adal's idea. Let me go grab him.

Do we have Benedict Cumberbatch coming to the studio? Dr. Strashange himself. God bless you.

Dr. Lestrange. Hey, guys, I'm back. Sorry, I just took off this robot head and here I am. No, it's okay.

A fun coping mechanism that our friend does.

And we don't have to talk about it. So my idea is it's all Sherlock. So I have a book of Sherlock puzzles. Erin Keif, you're going to be playing Sherlock Holmes.

That's a dream of mine.

Is this our ABC? You will be Sherlock Holmes.

No, don't do this.

Erin, you're going to be Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, I want to be a lady Sherlock Holmes. Is he still named Sherlock? We'll call you Cheryl Holmes.

That sucks.

Sherlock Holmes. You're Sherlock Holmes. JPC of course. You have to be Dr. Whatson. You are Dr. Whatson. I am playing Sherlock's older, smarter brother. Minecraft.

Minecraft.

I'm playing Minecraft Holmes. Uh, Moriarty's the villain, I believe, so I'm gonna be Minecraft.

I believe that Moriarty's the villain.

I'm hip and kids love me, so my peers, when I talk about kids, they're my peers, because I'm young.

You want to be a kid?

Well, no, I mean, don't make it sound weird.

So Minecraft is the older brother, but also a kid. So you're playing teen Cheryl Wachos. I can't wait.

This is actually a really exciting premise, and I can't believe how long it's taking. Pause.

Hey everyone, this is musicalsR, Arnie Parrot. I am so sorry for pausing the episode, but I have a very specific and ironclad contract that indicates anytime these chuckleheads decide to do a variation on the show, I get to do a variation on the theme. So if you'll excuse me for just a moment, I'm going to grab my harpsichord, my wigs, and my four years of dialect training. Okay.

Hello, hello, hello.

Is this true?

I heard that the doctor was the mother. I heard that she stood upon a block of isle.

I heard that Belsam would go with him.

I know for sure it was the cabin of her original.

I heard that she stabbed him with an icicle. And I was certain that the horse would aim right.

Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two.

Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two. Before you paint Riddle Riddle, one, two.

Before you paint Riddle Riddle,

Is it me you're looking for?

How can I help you?

Okay, maybe just like an intro.

Hello, my name is Cheryl Locke Holmes. My first name is stupid, but my brain isn't.

Perfect.

And this is my assistant, my sidekick, someone who is lesser than me.

Enter a wayfishly thin man with a backwards deer stalker on. It looks terrible.

Can you just do like the most ridiculous sound effect to just show this person sort of lame?

My name's John Watson, and Sherlock Holmes is a feeble-minded assistant, but I think I'm also a medical doctor.

Can we get like a hip or British accent? Like still old-timey British accent, but a little more hip.

Oh, alright. Yeah, son. My name's John Watson.

You should know that I'm going to change my accent many times.

Am I? Since it's not gonna stay around very long if you catch the knickers on my pickers.

And this is my older brother.

Hello. And if we ever had English listeners, they're gone. My name is Minecraft Holmes. I sound like Truman Capote.

You do, I like it.

You have a good voice. In cold blood. Welcome Dr. Watson. What's up? Sister Sherlock.

Thunder lightning, thunder lightning, thunder lightning.

I have a riddle for you to solve a case. And I would just like to welcome the fans to what is surely the worst episode we've ever done.

Here we go. Maxwell Perry had died in a small alley just the right side of Brick Lane shot in the chest. His attire suggested that he'd been in something of a panic. His shoes were unlaced, his trousers belted but unbuttoned, and his jumper both back to front and inside out. Profound though his alarm had clearly been, it had just as clearly not saved him. As investigations unfolded, it became clear that Perry was involved in the opium trade, moving his death towards natural causes. Unfortunately, he was also a distant cousin of someone of note. The poor Inspector Lestrade was on the receiving end of a considerable amount of pressure to solve the murder, having a whole pile of witnesses and suspects didn't help. Holmes, my sister, Sherlock, grudgingly agreed to have a look over Lestrade's notes, mainly to get the fellow out of our rooms. When they arrived, he flicked through them, making dulcetory comments as he went. This is all nonsense.

Let's hear some of them dulcetory comments from Sherlock.

Oh, interesting how this is written in pen.

That's downright dulcitorious. Here we go. There's a witness, Brinton. Brinton claims to have seen the victim running past like a sack of monkeys, whatever that means. A sack of monkeys? Is that a common phrase? I don't think so.

What do you mean, sack of monkeys is a common phrase in Britain?

Like a sack of monkeys. I'll take a sack of M's for you, Mr. Prims. Now, Murphy heard a shot and found the body, but didn't see anyone else. Well, it seemed short-sighted at best. Bly, Mr. Bly remembers seeing the victim running away because of the visible jumper label. Colgate saw one man shoot another face-to-face, but was too far to get even the slightest useful detail. Toothpaste. Rutledge found a pistol in a waste skip behind a pub. What's a waste skip? Oliver says the victim turned a corner and almost barreled into him, then shrieked and dashed off. That's more than enough, I think. It's quite blatant who killed the man.

Yes, it is.

This is a fucking word soup. Knowledge.

I know it's too soon to say, but this is already my favourite episode.

Yes.

Let's see.

So the people, the suspects, all said what they saw. Yes.

Are these people suspects?

They're a whole pile of witnesses and suspects. Witnesses and suspects, and I think about both. Here's a question for you. What's a jumper in this context?

It's a jacket.

It's a jacket.

A sweatshirt.

I think a jumper's a sweater.

No.

Like a sweater, a sweatshirt?

Like a pullover sweater.

I only know it in context of like a thing that women wear and like I feel like they were a part of a uniform when I was in kid's excuse. Oh, reading the riddle I have a correction here.

A jumper is Third Eye Blind's number one hit.

Wish you would get back from that bitch, my friend.

I don't understand. You could run by like a sack of monkeys.

Those weren't the words.

You skipped to the chorus channel. I don't understand.

Oh, to break from my own rule of speaking of British accent.

Oh, thank fucking God.

I found the perfect thing to do around the house. Next time you're around the house and you're bored, you're going to say Phoebe Pee-bee-bee-bee-bee-bee to the tune of that song that's like near or far, always together, beep ba ba, so do that now.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep All right, let's get on with it.

Oh man, out of time and space!

Okay, so, um, can you do me a favor then? All the witnesses, that are also the suspects, can you read what they start again with Perry? Is that the name of the guy that got murdered?

So one claims to have seen the victim running past like a sack of monkeys. Murphy heard a shot and found the body but didn't see anybody else. Bligh remembers seeing the victim running away because of the visible jumper label. Colgate saw one man shoot another face-to-face, but was too far away to get the slightest detail. Rutledge found a pistol in the waist skit behind the pub. Oliver said the victim turned a corner and almost barreled into him.

I've got a question. The original police report said that this may have been natural causes.

Because he was part of the opioid thing, but it wasn't natural causes.

But men been shot! Did we not find a bullet woman to make?

Didn't they say his stuff was inside out? I'm sorry, his stuff... His clothes were inside out. So wouldn't that imply that... He was, his clothes were already inside out when he was running away, if the jumper label was visible.

Hold on, hold on. He's involved in the opioid crisis, is what I was about to say, but the opioid trade and his clothes are inside out. Is it possible he's a member of hip-hop group Chris Cross?

So my assistant is not actually going to try to help and solve this. That's become increasingly clear. So he was on the right side of Brick Street?

That's correct. All right, so you turned a corner... Pardon me while I have to mine for some ore here to build something.

Yeah, you have a fondament understanding of how the game is played, Minecraft.

What, son?

It's like Sims, but more pixelated, I assume.

So, all right. I think...

Don't you know Sherlock Sherlock?

I do. I know. This is a fun position that we put in. So, are there any extra hints for us?

There are no extra hints, but the one hint is to use elementary.

What does that mean?

The TV show?

Yeah, the TV show. A game is the foot. I don't know. I don't know.

Elementary, my dear Watson. You said it to me a million times. Elementary, dear Watson. Pop the ball.

Alright, tell me if I'm on the right track with the inside out.

You are.

I am.

That is basically the answer.

Seriously?

The victim's jumper was back to front as well as inside out. One would have seen the label of standing in front of the man. Bly claims to have seen the label as the victim ran away, which is impossible and marks him as the killer.

I honestly figured it out.

I'm so proud of you Sherlock. Yeah, you're right.

I also want JPC to be proud of me. Is that possible?

I know that he is. Oh, I wish I did. I wish I had your brain and could remember the people that we've met on our travel share lock. But I just don't know who JPC is.

I can't believe I got it.

Minecraft?

Minecraft? Are you proud of me? I figured it out. Honestly, I'm bad at Riddle and I did it.

I'm slightly less embarrassed to call you my sister.

I hate this.

Carry on. Minecraft, did you just say you'd like to see a scene? Yes.

Inside. Oh, this is going to be an exception.

Wait, has improv been invented yet? I know we talked about criss-cross, but perhaps improv is yet to be invented. How old is Dale Close this time?

100.

Wait, what year is it?

Victorian England still.

Okay.

And he's 100. Sure. Alright, go ahead.

Can we say that any time somebody comes into a scene in this episode, you have to scream, what year is it? Yeah, okay. And then say what you're going to say anyway. Which I think is the funniest entrance of all time. Any time any listener, if you go into a coffee shop, if you go into a restaurant, you go visit a family member or friend, you go to a bookstore, immediately walk in and yell, what year is it? And then just go about your business.

No matter what they say, then say, then there's still time. And then like order your coffee or buy your book or whatever.

But be hyper specific in your ass. So if you go to a coffee shop, go, what year is it? Then there's still time. I need a granda, lavender tea. Granda?

What kind of nonsense is that?

With exactly one millimeter of sugar.

Sir, the coffee is not gendered, you know? It can be just grande for everything, you know?

Hey, I'm in the wrong ear. Your coffee's not gendered?

I'm in the wrong ear.

Alright, let's do a scene.

I want to see a scene where JPC and Erin, you are two, so Chris Cross has become a huge hit in, I don't know, 91. What was that song, Jump? Yes. And the two of you are trying to capitalize on that. Momentum. So you're two kids who have also formed a group where they crisscross at their clothes inside out or backwards. So you have your own gimmick and you're trying to convince a label to hire you. And you're the label?

Yes.

Alright, tell me what you can do.

You can do this, Michelle. Okay. So, kind of what makes ipso facto a little different?

Kind of what makes us a little different?

Is that we're, not only are we singers, but we're kid lawyers. Oh, thus the ipso facto.

Well, it's a facto, it's a facto. Mmm, visa v, it's a facto.

Not only are we kids, but we're lawyers.

Are you also representing visa v? Visa v, a la, um, yeah, there's a lot of, uh... You're representing a la? If they then be. I wouldn't want to touch that. So we're also kid lawyers. Well, it's a, uh, skyhook, uh, L.A.

We're kid lawyers? Like for example, some of our cases are like, when your baby brother comes in your room and he farts, and then he says, you farted. We like do cases like that. We're not even just like kid lawyers for regular law, we're like, we do kid law.

Didn't you also catch John Van Damme Ramsey's killer?

Yes, and thank God it was a kid. It was another kid because we got very close and we almost were like, is this going to be an adult?

Yeah, but it actually was her brother. I think that according to Erin Keif, and who even knows who she is, but she sometimes looks at YouTube videos late at night and a lot of them say that John Bonet's killer is her brother, but that's just hearsay.

And I just want to also go ahead and point out that you are correct and that lawyers catch killers. That's the thing that lawyers do. Yeah, we'd love to sing with us. I'm sorry, I'm the head of a music label.

No, we'd love to sing with the first song.

Yeah, you're ostensibly an adult. Who would know? Who would know? Let's hear one of your songs. Ready? Sure. Is it effective?

I object.

I object. I object too.

I object.

And I object three.

I object.

And one more from me.

I object.

And court is over. And whenever you're ready for this song. Oh shoot, okay go ahead. Lawyers like to pack and put up all their briefs.

Lawyers like to snack and put up some more briefs.

And if they brag your briefs to court, I got news for you.

We'll do a really good job. You'll be proud you do.

I have good news and bad news.

Just so you know, when we rehearsed, she was doing the setups and I was doing the rhymes. I don't know how it worked out the way it worked out.

I have good news and bad news. Okay, we'd love to hear. Which one do you want first? We'd love to hear the good news first.

We'd love to hear the good news first.

Underneath my desk, I have the most delicious turkey love sandwich.

Okay.

What's the bad news? You two are fucking terrible.

I thought we were gonna have to eat the sandwich under the desk. What year is it?

Same. Here we go. Sherlock, Dr. Watson.

Yes, we're back.

What? You've interrupted us at our noonton tea? Which one do I have our tea? Minecraft and you barge in here with a new mystery for Mrs. Sherlock to solve?

And who's my housekeeper? What's his name? Mr...

I don't know, it's your housekeeper.

I'm sorry, it's a woman in the modern version, but in the old books it's a man.

Why would we know what your housekeeper's life is? You've hired a housekeeper, now you want us to remember her name.

The more you speak the harder it is to remember, it will come to me.

Of course, well let's have some dead air then. Wouldn't that be nice, a little bit of dead air? This case is called the first camouflage. I remember the day clearly, even now. It was late October or Friday. We had finished lunch in a short while before, and I was sitting in a pleasant state of hoistprandial sleepiness. I was on the verge of nodding off when my sister Holmes loudly called out, I've got four words for you, Minecraft. I think I managed some groan of mild protest, which Holmes duly ignored. Elephantine, Beechwood, Bugleweed, Stepmother. And, I asked, each word, Holmes said, contains a smaller word, well camouflaged within its parents. What is the common theme, uniting the four smaller words, and what are the four smaller words?

Can you read them again, please?

Elephantine, Beechwood, Bugleweed, Stepmother.

Filled the dead air with speaking while I try to figure this out. Maybe pick a different thing that won't be stuck in my head the rest of the goddamn weekend.

Alright, alright, alright, now. Oh, you want a song that won't be stuck in your head? Then I have a band for you, ipso facto. Can you?

It's because one of the girls can't rhyme. Can you read them one more time? I'm so sorry.

I've got this Minecraft. Elephantine, Beechwood, Bugleweed, and Stepmother.

Say that again?

Elephantine, Beechwood, Buglewood, and Stepmother. No, we just need that.

I'm getting further away. It's fine. Whatever, you figure this one out?

Yeah, you figure this one out. Fant. Fant is a word, right? What are you saying? Oh, the word FENT. FENT. Mm-hmm. Now. Uh, BEACH and WOOD.

Oh, they're all different bugs.

That is correct.

Did I get it?

But now you have to say the four bugs.

No. Moth.

Mm?

And yes. And go ahead, you do the other three.

Alright. You got MOTH and YES. Okay. MOTH. BUG.

Mr. Hudson is the name of the housekeeper. Thank you so much, everyone.

So instead of solving this case... I was solving my own case!

I already sort of solved it, didn't I?

I'm going to solve this crave case for my... If you were paying attention, I'll just list you all the bugs.

List them again.

I already did it once, you fucking asshole!

You're an asshole! I hate him. Go ahead.

What are the names of the bugs? We got it right.

One of them is bug. They are all insects. We have moth, bug, bee, and ant. Oh, I will spell in Beechwood wrong. How did you spell Beechwood? I did an A. I would like to see a scene. JP, Dr. Watson. You are going to be playing.

Hold on, hold on. I want to make sure I understand the premise of what's happening here. We... I think all rules are off. We are calling for scenes.

Inside of a scene.

Inside of a premise. Wait, hold on. This is a scene? Wait, wait, wait. What year is it? No, bored.

So at this point our listeners either hate us or they love us. And if they're on our side, then they'll understand this and must have their way through. What's the scene?

The scene is that the two of you are Mars and you're around a flame having a first date.

Hey, can you focus on me for like two seconds? You just keep looking over at the... What are you talking about?

I'm here with you.

You were looking directly at the flame?

On you, focusing on you. And you look so hot tonight. So bright, so red.

What am I wearing right now?

I'm sorry, I love it. You're naked, like we all are, because we're bots. You got me. And you look amazing, and you're dancing. Delicately winking at the night air.

I don't want to! I don't want to!

I don't want to!

But you should know my brother dated Flame and he died.

I'm here with you.

My brother dated Flame and he died.

What a sweet death. Brilliant burning death. Oh my god, okay.

If you were really paying attention to me, what are my wings?

Moth wings?

Got you.

Yeah, I'm crushing this.

You know what? Go over and talk to Flame.

Okay.

I'm so tired of this. I'm gonna date a freaking, I don't know, a Rifai.

I will go talk to Flame just to prove to you that I don't want to do it.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, go.

Okay. I don't even like it. Ooh, my ears are burning.

Okay, never mind. I'm so sorry. Let's go to the other.

I like you.

Did you want to talk to me? No, no, no. I'm all good on this. I'm actually all good on this. Let's go to dinner. You did nothing wrong. Okay, have a great day. And we can fly away.

No, I'm sorry, I just met a butterfly over at the bar and we're gonna head out and fly.

How does that even work?

What, same parts?

What do you mean same parts?

We have like a little... We're nighttime creatures.

Go be with flame.

You're gonna migrate to Mexico with this butterfly?

No, we're probably both gonna die in two days. Carl, go fuck yourself.

Oh no.

I'm sorry.

You don't need to talk about this flame. You've got at most like, I don't know, 36 hours left before that wick has done so. What? You are... Hey, you don't need to make a scene here. No, no, no.

Don't make a scene. We don't need to make a scene.

You're not even sentient. You're not even alive. You're just fuel. You are burning because of this wind.

Alright, he had a bad date and he's lashing out at everyone in the restaurant.

This is the best date of my short, short life. Honey. Honey. See?

How we doing? We having fun? Oh, I'll just... Wait, what?

Right, yeah, we're having fun. Back to this.

What voice is that? How did he get to just abandon the premise?

We have to stay focused. Or this will be unlistenable.

The one that we cannot do is have an un-listenable episode. We can't afford it.

This could ruin us.

It could absolutely ruin us.

Stay focused, another mystery. I'm two for two assholes. Have you noticed that I've gotten both right, Adal?

But you forgot the name of your housekeeper.

But I remembered.

And what is it?

You remembered after being on your phone for three minutes.

You were writing on the bug names, which you therefore asked eight times in a row. You think the word beech wood is comparable to piddlyweed. One of the words was stepmother, and yet you compare it to piddlywig.

Go be pixelated or read another mystery, please.

These two brothers, they'll never get along. Well, I'll tell you what. We're gonna take a short little break and see if they can cool off a little bit. And when we come back, I'm sure Sherlock and Minecraft will be best friends again. And as for me, I'm gonna go drink a cup of tea.

Welcome back, dear listeners. This is Minecraft Holmes here with Dr. Whatson. Whatson? And my younger but brilliant sister, Sherlock Holmes.

Hello.

Oh, Minecraft, I meant to tell you. I think you dropped this. It's 50 stone. Oh, yes, I lost some weight. Thank you so much.

Is that what you're going for?

It's too much weight.

No, it's a Minecraft reference. I feel like it might be lost on you and I don't understand why. You chose your name, no one.

I'm ready for more mysteries. Mysteries, please, Minecraft.

Yes, I'm ready for more mysteries and less references to my namesake, which I know too much about. Yes, also, also. This case is the case of the granddad.

Thunder and Lightning.

very very very very very very very very very very very very very very

Who was born earlier? Well, that's a funny story. Thunder technically came before lightning.

But our dad came first!

And our mother never did.

But he finished her off afterwards!

Because as we all know, do the right thing. Go down on your wives.

And we are away! All right, back to the mystery. Back and then show our Holmes times. We're sweeping back in.

What a delightful one-act play by Harvey Fierstein. I hate those two.

Here we go.

Here's the case of the grandad. You might be interested in this minor follow-up to the nasty affair of the highwayman's daughter. A day later, Holmes and I were now lodgings at 221 B Baker Street.

It's almost as if I knew where I lived.

So what were you supposed to be?

In order to solve this, adequately familiar with the case of the high women's daughter? I don't believe so.

Okay, so two things I'm thinking.

It's like... And is it the high women's daughter? Yes, the case of the high women's daughter.

Okay.

Is it maybe the age when they died, or could it possibly be that his... I don't know. I want to be able to get him alright.

Her father was quite old, you know. Older than her grandfather. That's it.

Was I on the right track?

What are we trying to solve here? Was I on the right track? You picked this, Minecraft, in terms of what the Riddle is here.

I think I'm on the right track.

But to what?

I don't know. I never know what I'm speaking about.

Is this a specific case we're trying to solve? Or are we just saying, how can a father be younger than a grand father?

No, how can a father be older than a grand father? Is it possible that it's a different side?

Different size of the family. Yeah, it's not his dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, it could be.

Yeah, like he's the mom's dad.

Should have two sets of grandfathers.

Yeah, it could be an old man. Like an old man in the... Yes, almost like a Charlie in the Chocolate Factory scenario. I'm sorry, were you listening to a fucking word we said? No, not really.

Are we close with either of our answers?

Listen, I've seen the answer and I'm not quite sure what it means.

Alright, so is it possible?

Is it possible that we... I'm going to have a sniffer of Randy while you two... A sniffer? Yes. What do you think a sniffer is? Well, I've got a sniffer right here that smells me mustache all day. Was that a... I have a sniffer right here, Faka. Faka, can you move me?

Alright, tell us what the answer is.

The answer is stated here. As Holmes has often said, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. The highwayman married late in life, and the grandfather in question was her mother's father, not her father's father.

This is exactly what I said. I suppose I did get it right.

Oh, my savvy sister, you are three for three.

Three for three. Can you believe it, JPC? Look at me right in the eye. I'm sorry. Who is JPC? I'm so sorry. What son? Look at me right in the eye and tell me I am a god.

Are you made? Are you having a thing?

Right in the eye and say, you are a god. Three for three, you're a god.

No. Sherlock, listen to me. As your physician, I'm concerned. You keep mentioning this JPC, we don't know who it is. Are you seeing clearly, or are you a quite lad? What year is it? Why, it's 18th of November.

You know it knows? Okay.

It's got to be, you know. I'm 18. That's right. 18's right for sure. It's definitely not 17.

I'll wait to be called a god then. I'm not going to get that today. I haven't quite landed on my voice and I keep workshopping them. Is that hard to listen to you think?

I feel like mine's kind of bullet-tooth Tony. Yes, you're quite Vinnie Jones from Lock and Stock.

I've been chugging up, bitch! I like this.

I like that I'm going a little bit deeper with my voice.

Here's what I'd like to see. I'd like to see a scene. Sure. Sherlock, you're going to retreat to your mine palace. And with your two mirrors, you're going to workshop some accents and voices. Yes.

Okay, right. Hello, this is one kind of British accent.

Yikes. Fucking yikes. Hey real quick Cheryl. Fucking yikes.

Are you talking about my face or the voice I'm trying?

Just the whole package. Speaking of the whole package, I'm looking at that, that ass and ooh-wee! Perfect. Yeah, honestly, from the back you're a fucking snack.

Oh!

From the front? No, no, no. Yeah, from the back you're a fucking snack. How about this time? From the back you a fucking snack.

My confidence is weird. In my brain, these are two people I've created in my brain, and I'm saying I look disgusting from the back.

No, no, no. From the back? I'm a snack! We're mirrors. We are your id and your ego.

Where's my superego?

You're the superego.

You're the superego asshole.

See? Just put a cape on your ego and it's a fucking superego.

How about this voice?

Yes.

I'm here. It's a little bit Catherine Hepburn. It's a little Catherine Hepburn. And we don't hate it though. It's nice. It's sort of has authority.

It's a little more transatlantic than Victorian English. Can you do Jimmy Stewart?

I'll give you the moon, Mary. Oh, my Jimmy Stewart sometimes sounds like Cher. If you can turn back time, Mary.

Continue to do Jimmy Stewart, but then as you're doing it, just make it British and that's your Sherlock.

I'm Mary, I'll give you the Mon, Mary. Yes, I'm British, I can't remember.

There you have it, a crazy person.

And back to Victorian England, here we are. Sorry, I was in my room of mirrors in my brain.

Yeah, Sheryl Lott goes to the room, it's a Mon palace where she figures out the answers to all the mysteries we do.

Another mystery please, I'm three for three.

This mystery is... On three foot three. Yes, you are a tiny little man. Yeah, I'm little. You're almost a halfling.

I'm little. Three three. Me mum was a halfling and me dad was a dwarf. How tall is a dwarf? Erm, canonically, like no bigger than four, five. There's medium sized creatures.

I would like to hear a mystery please.

Yes, of course. This one is the... Plus two to Constitution. Sorry? Dwarves have... plus two to Constitution.

Was your father a dwarf or was he a wharf? Because I heard there's a dwarf named Wharf. Alright, let's continue on then. This case is called the one. Many numbers have plausible claims to interest, Holmes told me. I'd nodded, passingly familiar with some of the eccentricities of the mathematician's art. This one, however, is quite unique. Can you perhaps tell me why? He handed me a notepad on which he had written the number, and I'll only say this three times. billion five hundred forty nine million one hundred and seventy six thousand eight one hundred no eight billion five hundred four nine million one hundred and seventy six thousand three hundred twenty. Do you know what he was getting at? He's turning it upside down and it spells oob boobs.

It spells boobs when you turn it upside down.

Yes, somehow a number involving billions wouldn't turn upside down, turns into four letters describing the mammaries.

I have to be honest with you, I've heard this... This number sounds familiar to me. I think I've heard this out of context before, but I don't quite remember what it means.

So a number I've given you with Common Digits sounds familiar to you, but you don't know why. Fascinating, thrilling, even. Sherlock, you've done it again.

Well, you don't repeat any numbers in it at all.

Alright, let me think.

Every single number, 0 through 9, is represented.

Let me think here. 8,549,176,000. Wait, wait. Go back from the start and I want you to sing it. Alright. 8,549,176,320. How many seconds in a British day? In biscuits, in crackers, in fish and chips. In Margaret, in Patches.

In a British day.

I just looked over at KJ and they stared at the sky like, how did I get here?

Who are you talking about?

I'm sorry!

You mean the constable in there?

T-K-J-J-P-C? You're just saying letters, woman! What are you talking about?

Eight billion, five hundred and forty-nine million. Seven billion.

Alright, alright.

A hundred and seventy-six.

Minecraft, I have a question for you. Do any of these stories feature me in any way, or am I just kind of a tertiary side, side, side character in all of this?

Well, think of all the people who've played you on screen. Name three.

Lucy Liu.

Oh fuck you, I forgot about that one.

You earlier mentioned elementary. Yes, I think you did. Yes. Alright.

Lucy Liu. Jude Law. Jude Law, yes, in Robert Downey Jr. movie, yes.

Yeah, you're giving him the answers though.

And the guy who did... Stop it!

You're giving him the answers! Stop it!

He did that porn in... Love Actually. Love Actually, yes.

Martin Freeman, so Martin Freeman, Lucy Liu, Jude Law, John C. Reilly recently.

Oh boy, and that one was a bit of a... I didn't see it. A bit of a wiki sticker, if you will. I want to see a scene right now, and here's a scene. Wait, did you think of it right?

Hold on.

I think you probably did. Hold on now. I want to see a scene. Sherlock, you are going to be playing a woman. You are auditioning for the musical Rent. But you can't seem to get the lyrics to the song right, and you are auditioning for the musical, singing a song from the musical. We're going to be auditors.

Great, and if you just want to take it from the top.

Okay, I just want to tell you what an honor it is to be here. I love this show.

Oh, that's funny. Most people hate it. I'm joking. Everyone loves this show. We know our show is love. And you're a student at this high school? Yeah. Okay.

You just look... What?

You look... Yeah, maybe in 30... Can you... I'm so sorry. This sounds crazy. To prove you're in high school, can you do the splits?

Yep.

Okay?

No, that was great. Wow.

I'm ready to sing.

Can we help you up?

Better not.

Okay, you want to just stay there and do this song. That's fine.

Terri, her pants are in shreds.

How did her pants get in shreds? She like, she like reversed and holked out of those pants. It was like, everything stayed on. The top of the pants blew off.

Okay, now you are crying blood.

Whenever you are ready.

Just a joke, not in the musical, that's all.

And I can just sing any song I want from it? Yes. I can just sing any song from the show?

One of the big ones.

Okay. What was that first word? I need to stop you right now. We're gonna stop you right there.

Could you not play, could you not sing a song of one of the main male roles of Riddle?

Yeah, because we want to give you an idea of something you'd actually be auditioning for.

I don't want to give a note, but I will because that's why I am here. A lot of the words that you say, you really round the letters. Does that make sense? Sure. So instead of saying like New York, you say like, yeah.

Yeah, I got it.

I'll do a lady part. I'd also like to say that you are kind of very unexpectedly receptive to this feedback which tells me that you're not going to follow through on it.

Oh no, no, I got it. Okay, great.

And from the top.

Also, yes, from the top.

Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you real quick. I'm gonna stop you real quick. It's possible.

It's possible you've never seen the musical, but you understand that it's not happening inside of a well, correct?

Oh, no, no. Okay, I got it. Okay, I got it.

Real quick, before you continue with the song, we do need you to do one other thing, which is we need to hear your impression of Jimmy Stewart from Victorian England.

Okay, yeah.

Well, Aaron knows all the song to Riff.

I could have done.

I don't know.

Aaron, you are very close. I mean, you guessed one part of it. So we just have one other half of the number. So it is comprised of all 10 digits. Yes. And there's something else.

8 minus 4 is 5. 5 plus 4 is 9. 4 minus 9 is 1. 9 plus 1 is 7. 7 plus 1 is 6. 7 minus 1 is 6. 6 is 3 and 2 is 20.

Is that from a beautiful mind?

Wait, the janitor just solved that problem. No, it's dreadfully wrong. Get back to cleaning the floor, schmuck. That's one of my favorite things, and I feel like that happened in a world news scene, where somebody dropped a bunch of marbles and I was like, 187. And everybody was like, oh my god, that's amazing. Were you right? I'm like, I don't know. But just like, anytime somebody drops something, just screaming at a number, and then people be like, holy shit. Okay, so there's one other element to this. Elementary, Martin. There's one other elemental to this.

I shall look at the number again.

Eight, five, four, nine, one, seven, six, three, two, eight, six, seven, five, three,

Is it like a number thing or the way it looks?

Is it like a number thing? Is it like a number thing? Is it Riddle that involves all ten numbers? No, no.

Do you mean like is it a math thing? Is it a math thing?

Why don't you switch from mathematics to English, dear sister?

Oh, Roy. Could it be something that was... Is there math involved in this?

What? I just said. Why don't you switch from mathematics to English? To English?

It was an alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabetical alphabet

You know adults can't do that, right?

They can, and we're going up.

No. Not nursing. Soap this hole in. No.

Fine.

Not adults like us who are lazy. We never accomplish anything, Sherlock.

What son?

I want to see a scene.

Fine.

Alright. The two of you are, um, uh, auditioning. These are all auditions today.

I'm happy.

Let's do a different scene. No! No!

I was your original idea! We're excited!

The people want to hear the scene. The two of you are 30-something year olds trying to audition for Cirque du Soleil with no discernible physical skills. Okay.

Oh, these stairs to get up to the stage are getting me.

Oh man, we should not have had four milkshakes before that.

Okay, we're ready. Hello.

Hello. Hey, it took a while to get up that one step. That was, oh yeah.

Oh yeah, it's just a one step up to the stage.

It took an optical illusion. Okay, this is for our new show at the Bellagio. Of course, this is called... Of course. It's our South American inspired... By all the music of the Beatles, correct? By all the music of the Beatles set to Carnival! Okay. Because right at this point we're just printing money, baby. So we want to have something wild, something fun. We want something a little adult themed. Okay. Think of babies. And we heard that you two had something special. So what are we going to see today?

So I'm going to sing a Beatles song and my partner in crime here is going to do an interpret.

I'm her exposed husband.

Okay, well I said we don't necessarily need to mention that right out of the gate.

I'm proud. I'm proud of that. Catherine, those are three of the best years of my life.

Whatever, whatever, whatever.

And we're both doing better now. I'm remarried.

And he's just gonna just like yell out some things he thinks he did.

Michael Douglas' son.

He did wrong.

You're Michael Douglas' son? I'm married to Michael Douglas' son.

Oh, what's his name? Kirk. Douglas. So Kirk gave birth to Michael, gave birth to Kirk. Yeah. Married you. It's gift of generation. And that's Catherine Day Jones' son? Ex-husband. I'm sorry? Your ex-husband is her son? Is this a riddle? You tell me, big eyes. Okay, can I just say I love this act? Yes. Whatever this is, I fell for it, I leaned into it, I loved it. Hook line and... Oh, so we don't even have to do what we prepared.

No, not what you prepared. What we do is we do close-up audience interaction work with people who are in the audience.

Two Beatles songs.

Two Beatles, two while my wife sings a Beatles song.

Ready? Yeah, let's see. Ready?

Excuse me, sir. Where are you from? I'm from Santa Fe. Santa Fe. Let's open up a restaurant. And there's two songs coming.

Let's sing. That's so funny.

I like while Erin sings the first instinct is to also sing a different song. It was from Greece.

Red. I got it. Right, right. We're all back.

We're not gonna pay. We're not gonna pay.

Yes, the wall is a great place.

We're not gonna pay. Go ahead.

For Bush's War.

Yep, alright. One more mystery please.

We've down to our last puzzle. Puzzies and Riddies of course and what we've been doing. What was that you just said? Puzzies and Riddies. I like that.

Poodles and Roodles would have been funnier.

That'll be good one day.

Yes, one day. One day. Until they hit their themed episode set in Victorian.

Which will probably be like episode fucking 40 or something like that. Right, yeah.

It will be Erin's favourite but it'll be the end of the show. Carry on.

Yeah, I could see our numbers going plummeting down. Yes, well once the creators started to put all the good content behind the Patreon, then of course there was a downward spiral. Yeah, the downward spiral, all right, right? Here we go, final one. Let's see if anyone except for Erin can solve this. I'm looking at you, Watson.

I hardly believe I even exist at this point. I haven't been mentioning the material. I've made a lot of notes.

It's always about you, Watson.

It hasn't been about me at all. This is the case of the old ones, apropos. A curious incident in Bethnal Green came to my attention one Tuesday morning in the evening standard. Tuesday morning, got it? A fellow walked into a pub on the Cambridge Heath Road and asked the man behind the bar for a glass of water. The response was immediate. The man pulled out a gun and immediately shot the would-be customer dead. Unfortunately for the murderer, there was a witness he was unaware of, or one of the regular serving girls. She escaped detection and was able to describe the day's horror to the police. She was also able to confirm that the murderer did not appear to have known the victim or harbor any sort of grudge against him, but also did not seem to be simply killing him for the dark joy of it. According to the newspaper, the police even mentioned that the victim had not had hiccups. Can you find the reason why this matter happened?

Oh right, right, okay. So, I believe that the murderer, the barman, the barkeep, didn't mean to kill the person.

I don't think so either, but was the person trying to rob them, or trick them, or do something? Was the victim not really a victim after all?

No, the victim was the victim. He was fucking shot and dead.

Alright, fine. We're applying the victim mentality coming from Sherlock.

All right.

So the man behind the bar... The man walked in, asked the man behind the bar for a glass of water, and then pulled out a gun and immediately shot the would-be customer dead. A witness said that the murderer did not seem to have known the victim or harbour any sort of grudge and did not seem to be killing simply for the joy of life.

We all have these dick British accents. Is it possible when he said glass of water it sounded like my ass gets slaughtered?

Yes, right.

Or perhaps I've fucked your daughter.

Maybe he was menacing or something or he had like a bug on him. He was trying to shoot off a scare. Something happened.

Yes, the answer is that the man had a bug on him.

I don't like your staff, Minecraft.

The man was on fire, and the gun was a fire extinguisher. Oh yeah, but tell me, I finally got one right. Alright, hold on. Hold on.

Oh, you don't want the answer.

Was it a situation where the man had to be scared and the gun was supposed to scare the man, not kill the man?

Sounds right to me, but that's like the hiccup answer, so you didn't have the hiccup.

But I did not have the hiccups, and how could they do?

Because when you have the hiccups, you hiccup. Even after death.

Did you know when a human body expires one of the most common things that happens as you do the hiccups for a bit?

Oh, you're on the right track. Oh, is it?

No. There's details at the beginning that I've already forgotten. Is it something to do with one of those details?

Why is it called a pub when it has a bar?

Why not just call it a bar?

Is this your stand-up? It could be. Do you like it?

No.

Then it's not. It never was.

We have to see, let's see, about 60 seconds of Dr. Watson's bespoke stand-up for Victorian England audiences.

Alright, what day is it? What day is it? You dead boy, what day is it?

Oh, it's 9-11, sir. Oh, Jesus.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

You asked.

It's on the desk, on the desk. It is Victorian time, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything. And even here in Britain, I think we dial something else instead of 911. So, in fact, it's 9-11. Let's keep it right past it. Anyway, this wife of mine, this wife of mine, she's lovely. I came home just the other night. I said, honey, what's for dinner? And she said, what have you brought me? And I said, I've got a tombstone frozen pizza. And she says, well, why don't we have that for dinner? And I said, because I... I've left it in my car. And she says, well, go out there, John Watson.

This is premise heavy.

Hold on, hold on. I was right in this situation. I need to give you the full context so you understand how wrong... It's also not very well to assume that your wife would cook for you. I didn't. I mean, if you listen to the story, I have the pizza.

You said you brought home a tombstone. Keep going.

Alright, it was a Red Baron, but tombstones are expensive. Red Barons are roughly... Dollar cheaper?

What's a dollar? Keep going!

Anyway, so I go out and do my car and I open the trunk. What's a car?

Stop it! Stop it! I want to finish the end of this. No!

Stop it! This little shit... This little shit's got an end to everything. I said, I said I was bringing you my frozen pizza.

What's that?

And you tripped up on the fucking car.

It's stupid. Is he here with you? And I'm sorry, I'm on the second date. I'm embarrassed. This is a second date. Yeah, I'm a flame. I thought I got hours to live but I always thought I told myself. Finish your story or I'll die. I've got hours to live. Finish your story.

Anyway, we had a pizza for dinner and I love my wife. Same.

Boo. Boo.

Here's the answer to the case of the old ones.

The murderer was in the process of robbing the pub and shot the victim to eliminate him as a witness.

In fact, he'd already murdered the landlord and the cook, at which point one more body would hardly matter. The fellow was eventually apprehended at Portsmouth Docks and duly hung. I don't know why they didn't tell us they caught the murder, but nice little bow on this story.

It's better they told us they caught the murderer, so I don't have to stay up all night worrying about him being out there. Yes, but what about Jack the Ripper? Yeah, he only kills prostitutes. Oh yes.

Fine.

He's not in this time. No. Uh, what, uh, Sherlock?

We're fucking fictional characters. And we don't know what year it is. I'll wait. Oh, it's 18 Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig. It's 18 Peppa Pig. Uh, Adal, speaking of 18 Peppa Pig, um, don't we have some fucking live shows coming up? Uh, yeah. If you live in LA... We don't! Well here's what you're gonna want to do. If people who don't live in LA move to LA. We'll wait.

Here we go.

We'll wait. Go ahead and move to LA. Get in the car. Head out. Move to LA. Because on Sunday May 12th, which is Mother's Day at the Hollywood Improv, Hey Riddle Riddle is going to do a live show.

I can't freaking wait!

We are pumped as fuck.

I've never really been to LA.

You've never been to LA?

Not really.

What does it mean not really?

I mean, I was there for like a day one.

So you were in LA.

No, but I didn't get to really see it. I'm excited.

Were you in LA?

Shut up! Stop it! And can I just say, as a little special surprise for this Mother's Day show, hint hint, Mother's Day show, if you bring your mom, JPC will date them. I do have a little surprise for a person, a special person that might be attending that show. A mom for us? What the fuck, Erin?

JPC, you said your mom was going to be there. Yeah, my mom's going to be there. This is real. JPC's mom will be there.

And it's not like last time when she said, when the Cubs win the pennant, I'll be there. I will meet my mom for the first time.

Here's what you're going to want to do. If you're coming to the show, you need to do this. If not, you need to buy tickets. You can go to headgum.com, which is our website. slash live, which is our network and they have live shows right there. You can buy tickets there. What you're going to want to do, please, please, please, please, please, because it is Mother's Day and JPC's mom will be there. Everyone in attendance, please bring her a Clark bar. She loves Clark.

I told you she likes the Clark bus.

Oh, the Clark bus. I'm so sorry. We also here in Chicago, so if you're in the Midwest, you also get a chance to see us. We are!

We are!

That's where we actually live. There we go. We're going to have a show at Talia Hall. This is part of HeadGum again, our wonderful network is doing a weekend of shows, of live shows. So this is going to be at Talia Hall, which is the coolest venue in Chicago.

It's my favorite, truly my favorite.

Yeah, it's so cool. They have a punch bar in the basement. They have a deus ex... Ooh, where I poisoned myself once.

The most drunken hungover I've ever been in my life.

Oh, you alcohol poisoned yourself.

Yeah, I went to Kishibashi with my friend Haley Palmer and we shared a like a thing and a half of punch and I was hungover for three days.

How much is a thing and a half?

Like a picture and a half of that punch. Carry on.

That's going to be at Tally Hall, and you can buy tickets again at the headgum.com slash live site. And what date is that out of? That's going to be, you took your moms to see us in LA, now bring your daddies and poppies, and come see us on Father's Day, Sunday, June 16th.

And I have a very special surprise for that show, that show that is on Father's Day, there will be a very special guest. That's right, I have found my dad's killer.

And he or she, I'm not going to give it away, will be in attendance at that show. So check that out. We're very excited. So yeah, that's what we have. I also want to mention that we did mention before, but I want to remind everyone, once we hit 1,000 five-star reviews on iTunes, we are going to release an AMA episode. AMA for all you people over 30 stands for ass.

Ass. Ah, my ass.

Ass. My ass. Ass. medical ass. Adal must. Adal? That is going to be Ask Me Anything, so we're going to answer questions that people send us on Twitter. That's where we'll sort of get our questions. So go to iTunes right now. Please rate and review us, give us a five-star review, and help us get closer to a thousand five-star reviews. JPC, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, you can just follow me on Instagram at sharkbarkman.

You can see pictures of my spaghetti. And you can also follow me in person. Just keep your distance. You don't want to alert me to your presence.

Follow me at erinkeif10 on Instagram. I don't really tweet, so I'm sorry if you tweet at me. And yeah, follow me on Instagram. It's a private account, but that's just to keep my ex-lovers away.

I've got some of these guys' bags of weird wams that you've got to keep them away. You can follow me at Adal Rifai. You can subscribe to our Patreon, which is only $5 for a month of content every Friday. You're going to get double the Hey Riddle Riddle episode, so please subscribe to our Patreon. We would really, really appreciate that, and that helps us keep going and pay for everything we need to pay for and continue to put out content. And also you can come check out Hello for the Magic Tavern. We're going to be doing two shows at the Butler Arts Center Friday, August 2nd during Gen Con. So if you're going to Gen Con, maybe pick up tickets for that at the Butler Arts Center site. We're going to be doing two shows in one night, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. We did that last year as a blast. We had Travis McElroy, Stuart Wellington, some other guests, so please check that out. And I have one final case for Dr. Watson and Sherlock. Of course. Sherlock. Isaac Newton helped discover space, to some degree, perhaps, or maybe it was Galileo. Galileo helped discover the telescope, and of course, when Galileo first looked through the lens, he proclaimed exactly one word upon observing the night sky. Jupiter, I got one!

No!

I got one! You've done it!

What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? Dab. Dab.

Dab.

Created by Adal Rifai. Starring Erin Keif, and John Patrick Mullen. H.E. Snyder did the editing, and already parented the music. Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Neforce.

That was a Headgum podcast.