Which Riddle Riddle?

This is a HeadGum podcast.

If there was a riddle, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the beat because it's Hey Riddle Riddle. Oh boy.

You practiced that all day.

No, I just thought of it. No, you did not.

I really just thought of it. What was the hand routine then? You had a whole hand routine worked out. I made both my hands, four little finger people, and they danced. They were breakdancing. Do it again.

Do the opening again.

This is Adal Rifai. This is JPC.

And I'm Erin Keif.

And we have a special guest in the studio today.

Who is it?

Well, Erin, I'll tell you, don't... What's under that cloak? What's under the cloak? Erin is wrapped in, what is this, a scarf or a shawl?

It is a scarf. It is very big. It is my blanket that I wear as a scarf.

Yeah, I love these scarves nowadays that are also blankets.

Yeah, I need it.

I also like that you're wearing scarves instead of typically every winter Erin just wraps saran wrap around her head.

We do have a special guest in the studio. We've rudely been talking and not introducing it. Becca, do not talk until you're due. People are going to be so upset with what you did.

Hello and welcome to Hey Riddle Riddle. My name is Becca Barish and I'm so glad to be here.

Becca, you do world news at IO with Adal, Erin, and I. Are there any other things about you that you would like us to say?

Are you defined by world needs tonight? Spaghetti is tossing a bone around the studio.

Spaghetti wasn't quite content with just chewing on it silently. She also had to throw it in the air. Good girl.

Yeah, what's your deal? What is my deal? Yeah, what's your deal?

Yeah, what's your fucking deal?

It's a bit riddle.

You sat down here, backwards. You sat on your chair backwards like you own the place. Turn your cap around. You've been arm wrestling us for hours.

Yeah, I'm just excited to be here.

Well, we are excited to have you. We have a very special episode.

You realize that was a chance for promotion, right? Did you have something you want to promote?

Yeah, I just thought it would make it more so, like, come toward the end once I've won people over for just coming right from the beginning. That's a good idea. Earn it. You gotta earn it, yeah. Let's see how this goes, and then depending on how it goes, I'll decide.

Direct people to other products, yeah. What it is that you're going to promote. That's a smart move, yeah. Tell them about the Jewish episode. I told Becca that we had a very special episode prepared, and she asked me if it was a Jewish-specific episode. This is a mailbag episode, so it's listener-submitted riddles. We haven't had a lot of Jewish riddles submitted to the show, so that is on our listeners.

If you do want to... We should clarify, Becca is not Jewish. Yeah, Becca's not Jewish at all. But she knows all the slang words. Becca, are there any Jewish riddles?

There's a lot of mean Jewish jokes that are kind of riddly, but if you actually think about Judaism, let's get into this. It is a riddle. I mean, the whole point of Judaism is to ask questions and kind of explore that to figure out different aspects of what Judaism means to you.

Just to be clear, you said mean Jewish jokes? Do you mean mean two Jewish people?

No, it might be like, where do you hide your money from your Jewish mother? Underneath the vacuum, like stuff like that. Oh, okay. What mother? Right. Yeah. Why was that Jewish?

What Jewish mother?

Oh, brother.

Okay, cool. Sorry, Adal, I cut you off.

Oh, I was just going to say, I don't know if this is true, but somebody, a Jewish friend of mine told me recently... No, that's not true. That there's no, I have another. Told me that there's no vowels in the Torah. That can't be right.

So vowels are probably different than how you view vowels because if you're looking at... How would Vanna White... Would Vanna White have a part in the Torah? Jewish vowels are more like what you would see the visual of almost looking like Braille. It's like dots and lines and stuff like that. So the dots and the lines tell you what sort of sounds to make with the letters. So almost like when you... Have you ever seen those things where it just shows the consonants with no vowels but you can still figure out the word? Yeah. I think it's kind of like that.

I've never seen that thing. Everyone said yes immediately like it's a normal thing and I've never I've never even heard of that.

There's a part of Only Connect where that's what you have to do. They take out all the vowels of a phrase.

So for full context, Only Connect is a dating app.

I haven't gotten a match yet, but I'm never giving up.

It's the thing where you can't, there's no right or left to swipe, you can only connect.

You have to marry the first person who pops up.

The minute somebody pops up you're dating.

It's nice to meet you.

We're in love I guess.

It's for the most desperate people.

Are we allowed to go into a scene immediately?

If you have to ask, then you can't afford to buy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you can if you want to.

Yeah, okay. I wasn't even thinking I would do this, but I think jumping right into Erin going on her first date. Is it called Only Connect?

Yeah, well it's a fake dating app, but let's do it.

Sure, it's her going on a date, and JPC, can you play the computer that is the person that she was matched with?

Yes.

Great, thank you.

Hello, it is wonderful to see you.

No, you're nervous too.

Oh, I am very nervous. Plus, someone spilled some water on me.

Uh-oh.

It's the waiter here.

I've done a lot of internet dating, have you?

No, this is a first for me.

Really?

Why would I lie?

I don't know. I've been on every app. I've gotten a lot of dates.

Did someone say every app? I'm your waiter. You just spilled cheese sticks all over me. Did you want every app? I'm sorry about the water. I'm sorry about the cheese sticks, sir. This is my 10th day on the job and I'm still a little bit nervous. Did you want all the apps?

That's several weeks though, like 10 days on the job.

10 days is several weeks? You're dumb as shit, sir.

Can I get you anything else?

No, but I am loving the energy that you're putting on.

Oh no.

Is he being sarcastic?

I can't tell him.

What did you say your name was? My name is Tor Tor.

Back to the apps.

Alright, I'm all done with you. Good scene. Tor Tor. What a good name. No, this is not a special episode for any of those stupid things that you said. This is a special episode because we have had listeners over the course of the time we've been doing this podcast.

We've had listeners over the course of the time we've been doing this podcast?

Well, yes, well, listen to her. It's one guy, but he's great. But they have sent us some D&D-esque riddles, some Dungeons & Dragons themed riddles.

Now, some of these are- Why did you use D&D if you're just gonna later say what D&D stands for?

Because Erin's here. Now, some of-

For lizards at home, JPC just stepped on her feelings.

Erin has the feelings of a muppet. But some of these are riddles that I think are more in the realm of D&D, and some of these are just riddles that their D&D groups have come up with in the course of their Dungeons & Dragons games. But Becca, I know that you have played Dungeons & Dragons. Adal and I play in a game of Dungeons & Dragons together.

We've never met before this recording.

We've been playing for like three years in that group.

You missed a discussion today. I brought all my swag from Wizards of the Coast. Oh, yeah.

And this episode is actually sponsored by... Well, it's sponsored by their biggest competitor, Midwest Wizards.

Every single person in my Dungeons & Dragons campaign moved. Did they all move to LA? They were all planning on moving to LA and then one got hired by SNL, so he's like, I'll just move to New York since...

Do they all play without you?

They are starting this one actually in LA apparently where it's you're all teenagers and your power is based on your self-esteem and that's based on what other people think about you and I was like should I move to LA?

I'd be like what is that in the loop? Not in the loop, that's a movie. What's the... Tales from the loop?

Tales from the loop, yes. Tales from the loop. Could be. And Erin what's your D&D experience?

Um, I've never played it, but a lot of people I love play it. My boyfriend plays it. A lot of my friends play it. Here's what I think.

If you played D&D, I feel like your character would be an angel who rides on a whale with legs. Uh-oh. It's getting weirder. No, this is one of the most powerful classes. Her name would be Karen Eaf.

Okay, that's very similar to my name.

You wouldn't have any weapons, but you'd say all your thoughts all the time. You'd have a disarming smile.

Ah, that's nice.

What's your character when you play? The good news is that you get to choose your character and you don't have to have people tell you that.

Adal just verbatim told you the character he plays for the game.

My character's name was Fleet Woodmack.

That's really good. Yeah, so that's a joke about, uh, what? Abba. Great.

In Sean's bathroom, he's this huge painting that someone in his D&D group, have you seen it? I've seen it, yeah. Made of all of their characters together, and it's pretty epic. It's the only art that he has in this bathroom.

In our D&D group, we got, what's it called? Like 3D printed? We have 3D printed figurines of all of our characters.

Cool!

Because our DM is rich. Well, TJ got his in like brass, right? His is brass. The rest of ours are just like plastic carbonite, frozen carbonite.

Well, you just won up to the painting thing. Well, what's the coolest thing you could possibly do with your characters? Make them actually come to life? Kiss, make them kiss.

Make them kiss all the time. Our D&D group is just a bunch of guys in their thirties making their characters kiss.

JPC plays a wizard named Vodon, and most of the time that we're fighting enemies, he turns them into dogs, fucks them, and then buries them.

I do. Polymorph lasts for an hour, so my go-to move is to turn someone into a small, turn Polymorph someone into a small dog, and then start digging a hole, throw the dog in the hole, bury the hole. I'm sorry, put the dog to sleep, throw the sleeping dog in the hole, Put, fill up the hole.

So every battle, every battle, you just hear JPC say, ah, I've been trying to make you a dog.

Let's get into some riddles. Okay, cool. So these are some listeners submitted D&D riddles. This first one is from, I just want to make sure I can say their last name. This first one is from Johnny Collins from Madison, Wisconsin.

That's a tough one.

Yeah, Johnny Collins. Hey folks, liking the podcast so far. Well, fuck you. Goodbye Johnny Collins. Can I get a Tom Collins? He came up with this riddle for his Dungeons & Dragons group. It's totally derived from common knowledge of the real world science and mythology so it may help you don't need to be a D&D expert to answer this riddle. Okay, ready? Flowing through the mountain's heart, half of Aegis' rhyme-less word, a shiny consolation prize, a bane to creatures sometimes furred. Flowing through the mountain's heart, half of ages, and ages as capitalized, rhyme less word, a shiny consolation prize, a bane to creatures sometimes furred. My first two guesses would be salt or diamond, but I think it's salt. Giant salt like a diamond. I don't know the answer to this riddle, but there are hints to this riddle. I didn't look at the answer. So some people get really clever when they send us these answers and they write them and then they change the font to white so you have to scroll over them in the email just to see them.

Clever. What's a word that doesn't rhyme with anything? Purple.

Silver.

Purple, er-ple, stupid.

Purple, er-ple, got any cheese? Purple, er-ple, stupid. Well, the one thing I wanted to investigate here with this riddle is a bane to creatures sometimes furred. What is a creature that is sometimes furred?

Oh, those cats sometimes are... Humans.

Oh, there's those sphinx. Is that what they're called? Sphinx cats? Cat. So this is maybe a bane to cats, which is dogs? What's a bane to cats? What's a bane to cats?

What's a bane to cats?

laser pointers? certain plants? Yeah.

You live in the litter box. I was born in it. Are you guys ready for some hints?

Yeah.

Okay. The answer is not multi-part, i.e. all the lines are referring to the same person, place, thing, or idea.

Okay. Okay.

Why is ages capitalized? Hmm, that's a hint. And ages does have a capital A, so why is ages capitalized? Why is he asking us?

He says the top number. Can you say just the ages line again?

Yes, I absolutely can. Half of ages, rhyme-less word.

So half of the word ages?

Maybe.

Ag.

It's a rhyme-less word. It's Nickelodeon guts.

I have put my name in on eBay so that if someone posts that I get an alert.

Ag. A piece of the crag? Yeah. Every kid wants a piece of the crag.

What's that?

What's the Agrocrag?

So the Agrocrag is from the show Guts. Do you have it? Guts! Did you ever watch that?

No.

And they would have great teams from kids from different countries and it was almost like an Olympic sort of thing and then at the end they had to climb this thing called the Agrocrag.

Yeah, it's almost like the Olympics. The Olympics had a $400 budget.

And it was having Mike O'Malley who later was in the show Glee and Mo, his support. It's actually pretty good.

A woman named Mo, who I feel like most people I would watch that show with had a crush on.

They would be like, Erin, it's time to spill your guts! And they'd be like, my name's Erin, I'm from Israel, I like to skateboard. I sound cool.

Wow, is there a different version of Erin from Israel that likes to skateboard? Alright, I want to see a scene. Erin, I want to see a scene. You, Becca and Adal, you are all a team on Guts. Wait, there was three portion teams, right?

No.

Oh, was it not? You're thinking of Legends of the Hidden Temple.

I am thinking of Legends of the Hidden Temple. I watched a recent episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple where they were like, what do you like to do? And the kid was like, well, I hooked my computer up to my phone line and I played games over it. They're like, that's great. I was like, before anyone knew what internet was.

That boy was good. You're all from three different countries. You're all from three different countries. You're competing on guts. We're going to throw it to you and you guys are going to do your little intro lines, okay? Do we have our countries or are we just... You will all be from different countries, but I'm not going to assign you your countries. So what are we doing when we're introing ourselves? Yeah, on guts.

Anything else? Okay Adal, spill your guts! My name is Gordon. I'm from Oslo, Norway. I like to eat cheques, mix, and sometimes I lose my balance.

My name's Tiffany. I'm from Canada. I like to use my skip-it at the same time as my bop-it, and my record is 602, but you don't know which one.

Uh, my name's JPC. I'm from America. I eat my own shit. I'm stupid.

It'll never amount to anything. Okay, uh... Also, can I just say one other thing about Legends of the Tindall? Yeah, sure, please. Because I know there's been a lot of discussions on this podcast about like riddles and whether they're fair or not. Yes.

Earlier you said you've listened to half an episode.

So I don't know if a lot of conversations... In the end, they would go through the temple, and then the temple guards would come out at basically random points. So it basically was like the show deciding whether or not they wanted the children to win, and I think that's true.

And it was a grown man. It was a grown man who would grab a child who was dressed, I would say, culturally and appropriately.

I'm still, I haven't been able to focus on anything since you told me that little boy discovered the internet. I'll send you that clue. Everyone did anything.

Alright, the last clue here is, the creatures in question are only furry once every few weeks to be more specific.

Once every few weeks. A flower.

So it's not multi-part, each line is the same, Aegis is capitalized for a reason, and they're furry every three weeks. Flowing through the mountain's heart, half of Aegis rhyme less word. A shiny consolation prize, a bane to creatures sometimes furred. So what does sheep hate? Shears? What do sheep hate?

I don't know. I think we gotta give up. Ag.

I don't know. I think we got to give up.

I love to be the one to give up.

I'm proud of that. If you look at the answer, can you give us another clue based on the answer?

Oh yeah, so Adal is right with AG being representative of... Can we go around the table and just kind of get a quick... Let's see a scene where you all apologize to me.

I am JPC.

I eat my own shit. Adal!

Damn JPC. You're a little Icarus.

First of all. Flew too close to the sun.

So AG is what? What does it correspond to?

All right, so underground, flowing, and hard are meant to evoke the imagery of a vein. AG is the chemical symbol for silver, hence half of ages. Strictly speaking, silver does not have a direct rhyme, only slant rhymes like pilfer or Wilbur.

We said that earlier. Becca said, what is the word it doesn't have?

So, I mean, we were... Erin, I think, said silver as well, correct?

Silver fox. I said diamonds and salt.

Oh, Diamond and Salt. The one you mixed those two together. What is silver except salt diamonds? Second place is awarded a silver medal, i.e. a consolation prize, and in Germanic folklore and in D&D, silver weapons are particularly effective against werewolves, creatures who are only furry during their full moon transformation.

I forgot about werewolves.

Yes, we all forgot about, uh, werewolves. Thank you, Johnny Collins.

Speaking of Germanic folklore, isn't Witcher 3 your favorite fucking game?

Yeah, but that's not Germanic. Dude, I put on the Witcher 3 when I'm gonna have sex. I just let the opening credit screen roll. Uh, do you mind if I set a mood? Or is it said, if not, if not, Germany? It's Icelandic. Polish? Yeah, Polish. It's Polish. And Polish is not Germany. They actually fought a war about that, Adal.

Yeah, about that.

That war was about the Witcher 3. There was actually many wars in the Witcher 3. The nation of Novigrad was very aggressive. But Gerald Travrivia had something to say about that. Okay, let's see a scene where I play Gerald Travrivia.

Let's do another Riddle.

Okay, one more Riddle. One more. We will do another. And then we're done. This is the last one. This comes from Derek Wright. Derek Wright writes, oh boy, I occasionally throw riddles into my D&D game, so I browse through a lot of short, simple riddles, but this was the first one that stumped me. My players never got the answer. See if you can. Riddle. My tines are long. Tines?

What's a tine?

My tines are long.

Are you saying an M or an N?

My tines. T-I-N-E-S. T-I-N-E-S. Tines.

My tines. Yeah, tines are weird. Oh, like when your mom's like tine for dinner and you're like, mom, your stroke has really incapacitated you.

My tines are long. My tines are short. My tines end ear. My first report. Book report.

My tines end ear.

My tines and ear, E-R-E, which is a preposition in conjunction, which means before, in relation to time. Derek said that in the email. Derek, I gotta say, this isn't fun.

Is not air, not ear. I think it's pronounced air. Air, air.

Air. Could be. My tines are long, my tines are short, my tines and air, my first report. Siri, what are tines? What's the thing that forecasts? Is it on those tines? Forks of tines. KJ is nodding. KJ is nodding. They know.

Doesn't a fork have a tooth?

A tooth?

Four teeth, three teeth.

If you have a tooth on your fork, you put the fork in too hard.

You need to take the fork out.

Because you're forking your teeth.

You got a fork in your teeth.

My tines are long, my tines are short, my tines end air, so they end before my first report.

A dinglehopper.

Okay. Nice. This is a segment that I usually reserve for Erin on the show, but this is a dead stop. What is a dinglehopper?

Isn't that what it's called? In Little Mermaid? He doesn't know what a fork is called. He calls it a dinglehopper.

The seagull's like, I know what this is, that was a bad impression. Everybody shut up, nobody's gonna get me. I know what this is. I wanna see a scene.

Erin, you're gonna be the seagull from Little Mermaid. Becca, you'll be the Little Mermaid. GPC, you'll be Eric, Prince Eric, is that his name? He doesn't talk, Eric. And you might hear Your favorite little crab pop into the scene. Well, we hope we don't.

Ariel! Ariel! I'll be an awake man.

Get it? Ariel, do you get it?

Yes, I get it.

Do you? Yes.

Ariel.

Ariel! Okay, who is this guy? He looks like a haircut. Hi handsome.

Hey, it's me, Mr. Crabbe, from the Spongebob!

I feel like if I could hear it for just a second, I could have done a great impression of the seagull. I want to just give an award to Prince Eric in that scene.

He yawned. It's Ariel that can't talk or Prince Eric that can't talk.

Ariel for the second half of the movie cannot speak.

But she has legs.

Yes, she has legs. What do you call them? Grapes.

I would love if Ariel had like every 10 words, she just didn't know what she was talking about.

But then it gets worse, it's like in the middle of the sentence, and then the beginning of the sentence, and then you realize that she's just a woman singing a song from hell.

I'll aluminum fold. I'm trying to say I love you, I don't know.

My times are long, my times are short, my times in the air, my first report. This is pure gibberish.

A fork in the road. A rake.

Um, no, I looked at the answer. So it's not a, uh, this would be something that you couldn't touch. It's not something that you could like touch or hold on to.

A woman without permission?

Thank you. And yes, and that's me clapping.

No, it's me clapping.

Don't take credit for something a woman does. Lesson number two.

It's a thing you can't hold or touch?

It's a thing that you can't hold or touch. Religion. My parents' pride. Yeah. And one more from you, Erin. What?

That's me clapping.

If you did touch it, it would probably kill you. Although, some have survived.

Fire! Lightning.

Yes! It's fire. Congratulations, Erin.

It's not fire.

It's not. No, no. It's of course it's lightning.

I hate when I get the answer, but still don't know why.

So my tines are long, my tines are short. I assume the lightning bolts have long

Tines.

Tines and short tines. And then my tines end to air. My first report is like lightning ends before the thunder.

I'm so proud of you for getting it.

I'm jealous. I don't think it counts. It certainly does not count. Can I ask a Riddle mindset question? Yes. Do you go into a riddle thinking I hope I get this or I will get this?

I go into every riddle thinking, and then I play some Witcher 3 and try to fuck the riddle. That's a tough question. I don't think I'm good at riddles, so I am surprised if ever I get the answer to a riddle. I mean, although some behind-the-scenes magic through this podcast, I've never once tried to answer one of these riddles correctly. Cool. We're going to cut that out.

We're going to put it in the Patreon as its own standalone episode because we do not share behind the scenes on our regular feed, JPC.

Oh, you're grabbing me by the throat!

Every time I'm listening to a riddle, I think, I don't think this listener exists, but my anxiety makes them exist in my head. I picture a smug dude in his car who's listening to this by accident. I've seen him.

In the rearview mirror.

And he goes, oh, this lady's not smart. And he just feels smug about a lady not being smart.

If you're that guy... Is that guy a bitch?

Yeah, that guy's my frickin' brother-in-law. That guy's gotta be bitch.

That girl don't know what the word tine means. I didn't enjoy, was it?

Tines up. A few episodes ago there was the polar bear one. Do you remember that? No. It was like a... On our show? Yes. No. Yeah. You got it right. Yes. It was a polar bear. It was like, what color was the bear? Oh, that's right, yeah. But you said, and I forgot, so here comes the roasting, but you said Antarctica or wherever you said, and then our Twitter feed blew up with people being like, actually, bears don't live in the... Whatever it was.

It just was very... The sub-artic. Sub-artic. The am-tartic. Am-tartic. The Amtrak. You know, who cares where fucking bears live? We're the greatest at riddles. Becca, we also forgot to ask you. We usually ask every guest that comes on the show. How do you feel about riddles in general?

Well, I'm a very competitive person, and I've literally talked about it in therapy. And one of the things I... About riddles specifically? Or about coming on the show? No, just about being a very competitive person. Because I've ruined a couple of game nights. And one of the things I realized was like I go into a game night Being like I will win the game so then when I don't win the game I don't respond well because the thought was that I would and I think everyone else normally goes in being like this will be fun and maybe I'll win and I think a total shift in mindset changes it so for riddles it's hard because I'm competitive but also not very good at them.

I find being a competitive person it's easier to engage in a thing that I'm not good at because then I don't have an expectation that I'm going to be good at it. But if it's like a competitive thing that I'm vaguely good at or like I should be good at, like bowling, like I should be good at bowling for all intents and purposes. Because you're from Indiana. Because it's bowling! It's fucking bowling. It's not rocket science.

See, I get irritated with bowling because I usually hit in a good spot, but my bowling ball is so light because I can't carry a heavier bowling ball. So then I feel like, again, the Is everything stacked together?

For listeners, Becca Barish is three foot two. She is made of twigs. She has a volleyball taped to her top.

As a head? Yeah, she sticks with the volleyball. So instead of heads of volleyball, you went with volleyball taped to her top.

I literally pictured my head with just a volleyball taped to my boobs.

I thought that too, I was like, these are my boobs, they're one volleyball.

Eyes up here please, not on the volleyball.

Alright. Please don't spike my tits. Please. Becca, we love having you on the show, but please don't spike my tits. That sounds like what someone would say, like, don't pull my leg.

That should be the new, what is it? Is it some military branch that has like this snake that says don't tread on me or something? Yeah, that's a no-fear t-shirt. It's a big dog t-shirt. If you can't slither with the big stig, stay off the porch? Stay out of the desert? There should be one that's just a volleyball that says, don't spike my tits. It's almost like, don't yuck my yum. Erin is so over this.

Oh, I'm just listening.

The merch for the show is getting out of hand. This episode, this Riddle It's submitted by Brandon Jones. Brandon also has sunglasses in their profile pic. Given that, I wanted to give you a D&D themed one that we got cursed a few times because of. That's two prepositions in a row. What are you, all of a sudden, language police? Adal, you could have just said volleyball head. I wish I was language police because then you'd be in language fucking prison. A thief is casing a wizard's tower to steal all of the treasures within. Becca's taking notes, this is hilarious. What is casing? Casing is like... Casing the joint, like recon. Have you seen Home Alone?

Lost in New York? No.

Or the third one where they hit heads when they're jumping over the fence.

Let me use a better example. Have you seen Mamma Mia?

The second one?

Have you seen... have you seen Morma Mia? The book of Morma Mia? Morma Mia.

A thief is casing a wizard's tower to steal all of the treasures within. He sees that the only entrance is through a door guarded by a massive golem. Yes. Trademark? Goal in the column. So I do this thing where I... Fail to read emails before you start reading them? No, I just don't read these riddles before... Saying them? But saying them because I don't want to spoil the riddle for myself, but we've done this one before.

So... We'll make up new content.

Oh, just make up a riddle? Yeah. Okay, cool.

What's the answer to this one?

This is the one we did with the spies not too long ago, where they say the secret password. Oh, the number. So I'll make up a riddle instead. This riddle comes from Brandon Jones.

So this one, so this is for nothing?

This is, well, no, I'm gonna use the beginning of it.

For instance, Becca drew the human anatomy chart.

A thief is casing a wizard's tower to steal all of the treasures within. He sees that the only entrance is through the door, is guarded by a massive gala. And here's the part that I'll make up. Okay, so, so this thief... Okay, so he gets a phone call, and he picks up the phone, and it's his doctor. And his doctor says... His mom or his doctor? His doctor. That's me, one or the other. Nope, his doctor. The woman has died. Nope, the doctor says, I've got some bad news. We just got the test results back. And the thief says, give it to me straight, doc. And the doctor says, you've got six Leaks to Wiv. So, he hangs up the phone.

JBC's slowly backing out of the room and grabbing his coat.

He hangs up the phone and he turns to his friend. He has a gun and a spaghetti's head. The bear. And the bear says, barely knew her. And anyway, Brandon, thank you for submitting that.

Well, it only took 30 episodes for us to fall apart.

Thank you for submitting that, Riddle. This next riddle comes from Patrick Herron. Just encountered this while playing D&D with my brother, also a listener.

Hello.

Do you think that he is playing D&D with his brother and then also another listener? Or are you saying that his brother is the listener?

And also does he play D&D alone with his brother?

I've played D&D with my brother before. There's usually other people there. And I've never just played with my brother. Anyway, we'll never know. I'm reading the rest of this email. He does not clarify. I'll assume it's him, his brother, and another listener.

No, no, no. This is the riddle. I think he is a listener.

Do you think Patrick listens?

I think everyone listens.

Wow, that's vain. Comes with sunshine, leaves with night, hides in darkness, does not bite. Always joined to its caster, never strays. Shadow. From its master.

I was gonna say shadow. I wanted to get it right. I wanted to get it. Cut out Adal getting it. I wanted to get it.

I stop listening.

It comes with sunshine. Donnie Osmond? The answer is a shadow. I want to see a scene. Adal, you are playing a man, and Erin, you are playing that man's shadow. You can never get a moment's rest from your shadow, Adal. Hey, buddy. Hey.

What? What's going on?

How are you doing today?

Oh my god, so good.

Yeah, you look real long.

What are we doing? What are we doing today? I like your shirt.

Sweetie, who are you talking to? This is awkward. This is my shadow.

Hey!

I was talking to you.

Okay, everybody calm down. I knew this was gonna happen eventually.

You're a shadow to someone?

Yep.

Are you seeing someone? I came in here with the intent to argue with you because I can never get a moment alone, as per the voice in my head, but now this has turned into... I didn't know we were monogamous. Sweetie, who are you talking to? You're dating two other people? I'm dating... I was talking to you.

Sweetie, who are you talking to?

God? Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. So everybody calm down. Yes, it was Shadow and Patrick says, thanks, love the show. Doesn't say if his brother loves the show, so what the fuck is with that? But either way, thanks for the riddle, Patrick. Thank you. And I think that that's probably a good time for us to take. A break? A break! Right? A little break? So we'll be back in six months? Yeah, we're going to take hiatus. I think that's a good time to take a little hiatus. We'll be back in about six months. More like a buy-atus. What does that mean? Well, hiatus.

We take the first two insert commercials here.

We will be right back after a break from these breaks.

Hey Erin. You're a pretty unique person, would you agree?

Yeah, I'm pretty and unique.

You're unique?

Okay.

Or are you nitty? Yeah. What do you sleep on?

Um, sometimes it's just like a bunch of newspapers stacked on top of each other of like when I've been in the news. Um, and sometimes it's JPC. That's a pretty thin, that's a pretty thin amount of newspapers.

Oh, okay, yeah. Local girl falls downstairs. What? I said local girl falls downstairs. Does it on purpose, goes to jail. Well, Erin, because of your unique, uh, pretty makeup, I don't know how to phrase this, you should be sleeping on the Helix mattress that JPC and I got you.

Yeah, I mean we know that sometimes people have been like, don't sleep on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, but they mean don't side sleep on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, don't hot sleep on an episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, because we know that everybody sleeps different. Well, the Helix Sleep Mattress is designed for people who sleep in a variety of different ways.

And you can take a quiz. And it's not the type of quiz that you can fail, so don't worry about that. I worry about that. But it's just a quiz to get to know what kind of sleeper you are.

You took the Helix Sleep quiz, Erin, and you got a don't sleep, right?

The first F ever.

You can find that quiz at helixsleep.com slash riddle. It only takes two minutes, and it's going to match your specific makeup to a mattress that's right for you.

Yeah, that's why they call it Helix Sleep, because it relies on double helix, so you just enter your DNA into the quiz, and then it tells you what kind of mattress is your soulmate, basically.

And it tells you what kind of mattresses your ancestors slept on. I mean, you'll see that in your dreams.

Yeah, that'll be something that, they don't promise that, but that is something that comes in most people's dreams.

And they have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it for 100 nights risk-free.

They have a 10-year warranty?

There is a little loophole here because they say 100 nights, but you also get the 100 days as well. So you can sleep at the mattress 24 hours a day for 100 days.

And for me specifically, for Adal Rifai, those are Arabian days and Arabian nights.

That's not something any of the rest of us feel comfortable saying.

And if you sleep next to a partner, half the mattress can be for you, and the other half, the mattress can be for your partner.

Or, you know, you can do three quarters. Just with sprawl, with arms and legs. But right now, Helix is offering up to $125 off all mattress orders. That's $125 off. To get your $125 off at helixsleep.com slash riddle. That's helixsleep.com slash riddle for up to $125 off your mattress order. Don't sleep on this deal. That's not theirs, that's mine.

I guess the way I sleep is I clutch a pillow and I kiss it?

Yeah, I do the same thing but the pillow's in between my legs.

How I sleep is, you know when you get someone in that like choke hold, like with your leg?

Oh, like Zena did for James Bond in that movie?

Yeah, that's what my blankets do to me.

That's helixsleep.com slash riddle. Of course on the pillow I write not a pillow. So when I kiss it it makes sense.

Naturally. You're pretty unique.

Helixsleep.com slash Riddle.

And we're Riddles again! Did we come up with a D&D themed name for Old Man Puzzles for this episode? Old Dragon Dungeons, the Puzzle Master, the Page Master, the Key Master, uh... Gozer. Ghostbusters, State Puff Marshmallow Man. Let's just do State Puff Marshmallow Man, right? I like ancient dragon puzzles. Ancient dragon puzzles. Okay, so retroactively ADP, always safe, always secure. I will be ancient dragon puzzles.

I want you to be responsible for either giving us a painting or a figurine of each of us, a brass figurine of each of us when this is over.

I heard one time JPC's dungeon master took him to a fancy dinner but JPC doesn't eat any meat and basically he just ate like a potato.

Is that true? Look at us, is that true?

I heard that one time JPC's friend was eating Taco Bell and there was a roach in the Taco and it laid eggs in his mouth and then they hatched.

I heard that one time JPC was eating out Wendy's and he got a finger in his chili.

Is that why you call your butt?

It's so cold!

$500 dinner for three people. They couldn't go. So Rush took JPC and I for free. And it's again like a $500 ticket for this dinner.

It's like a 12 course tasting menu.

And JPC is like, I don't drink. I don't eat meat or drink. So it had free wine pairings. And then also, it was like very, well for us it was. And it was also very meat centric. So it's funny to see the waiter like bulk it like, oh, no booze and no meat. So they basically were just like, here's a roasted yam.

Yum.

I mean honestly the food was really good.

Does that mean, so if you don't drink, if I did come back for my 4-20 episode of Hi Riddle Riddle, will you not? Are we doing that?

I'm trying to make it happen for myself. Unfortunately we're going to do High Riddle Riddle.

Oh my god. I never ever get high and I absolutely will for that.

I'm going to wear one of those industrial gas masks and it's going to make my voice sound like Bane so I will just read the riddles to you and then also freak you out with my fucking industrial gas mask.

I'm so into that. Will you please come back for Hi Riddle?

Yeah, I'll be back.

Not you! I wasn't looking at JPC!

On a weekly basis. Alright, you guys ready for this? This is a riddle from... It's like the worst prelude to a jock jam. Y'all ready for this? It's a riddle. Are y'all ready for this?

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

There's 99 people on a boat.

How many people are on the boat?

Actually, honestly, Riddle, John Jan's is a really good idea.

That sort of sounds like our opener. Yeah, I think that's true.

Arnie, if you're listening, which why would you be, please get on Jock Jam, Riddle Riddle. That's our next special bonus content.

Arnie, if you're listening, turn right. You missed your exit.

Oh man, that guy's always missing his exit. What a fool. Thanks for the chill podcast. This is from Ezra Blanchard. I don't know if these are any good or anything, but here are a trio of tiny riddles I came up with for my D&D campaign. If you need a clue, the answers to all three are liquids.

Oh, that's a huge clue. No. Ezra. Ezra. Ezra.

But then Ezra said, no, not like that. Get your heads out of the gutter. One man drinks, another grieves, bane of kings, and boon of thieves. So many banes. Yeah, bane of kings.

Read it again.

No. Play with the bane of kings. One man drinks, another grieves, bane of king, and boon of thieves. One man drinks, another grieves.

So what would kill a king? And what's a boon?

Boone is Daniel Boone. He wore a Coonskin cap and he had a Lamusket and he was a frontiersman.

Daniel, Daniel Boone, king of the...bane.

So poison kills a king.

Poison in the ear. One man drinks and other grieves, bane of king and boon of thieves. Yes, the answer is poison.

Seriously? Poison. Poison. Oh my god. I got it.

A girl is poison.

No one's really making a big deal.

Adal and Becca, you are the king and the queen. Erin, you are a jester who has come to court. You have nefarious ends, but you are here in front of the king and queen to entertain.

What ho! Bring in the new jester. Okay, we gotta stop. We gotta stop. We gotta stop.

What a ho!

Hail and well met. You must be the new jester we've been hearing about.

Please do something to bring our marriage back together. Y'all like magic?

Do y'all like... I mean, I, from Tither to Hither, sometimes enjoy some prestidigitation.

Okay, well this is my guy who does music. He's gonna underscore my magic. Your assistant? Yeah, it's my assistant. He does music.

Yo, my name is DJ Squalls. Like DJ Qualls? Yeah. It's my favorite actor. Yeah, I misspoke. My name's DJ Qualls. I was in The road trip and the new guy. And that's about it. Was that maybe in an American Pie movie?

Alright, here's this cup. Here's a chalice. You see it. Now it's gone. And now it's back. Now it's gone. And here it's back. Uh oh. There's a sweet sweet liquid in it. Take a sip. Take a sip.

Ooh, two times, two times. Take a sip.

Now your turn, your turn. Take a sip. Take a sip.

Oh no, she's dying. My queen.

Take a sip. No, I'm good.

I'm not thirsty. I'll take a sip.

All right, take this knife.

Oh no, his career is dying.

Oh no.

Fancy. What ever happened to DJ Qualls?

Whatever started with DJ Qualls.

I think he got trapped in the mirror. Now the riddle begins. Next one.

Is it the Kate and Ashley movie where their grandma's trapped in the mirror?

You thought that was my reference?

Yeah, but I was assuming you're always going back to that movie.

Oh, Grandma Mertrap? What's it called? They have a movie where their grandma is trapped in the white mirror?

Yeah, it's very scary. What the hell? I know the mystery ones.

As adults they made this, it's like Hansel and Gretel.

Did you watch the mystery ones? The who stole the great hope diamond what killed the dinosaurs?

You know that one? I was a little bit before then, I think. I was watching like Brother for Sale.

Did you ever see Winning London? That's their best movie.

Do you guys ever see Billboard Dad? I don't remember what Billboard Dad was about, but I do remember that I went to the Mall of America when I was in fourth grade.

There was a big poster for Billboard Dad. I have no memory of the grandma thing. That's terrifying though.

Okay, you guys ready for the second of three? See dark ichor of joy and sorrow. Rejoice tonight, forget tomorrow.

Save tonight. Alcohol.

Wine. This is Eagle Eye Cherry. Beer. Is that it? Yeah. I could never, I always get them in Eve 6. Dark ichor? Liquid riddles. See dark ichor of joy and sorrow. Rejoice tonight. Forget tomorrow. Bless you. Beer. Amber.

Wine.

Erin got it again. It's wine.

I'm getting some positive attention. I'm getting positive attention.

Looks like her wheelhouse is liquids. Sort of.

Vital to seas but poisoned to trees. Shed a tear and I'll be here. Salt water. Wow, you all gored it. Silver. It's either salt water or diamond water. It's taffy. Come on.

Salt water.

It's the answer to Saltwater Taffy. Thank you Ezra. Thank you for those.

You know what? Ezra, that was a welcome, fun little thing we did.

Wow, you're welcome for being fun.

I just want Ezra to own what he did.

That was better than Ezra. No.

Predicted uptown. Oh boy. Count only blue cars. My name is Counts, only blue cars.

I have a story about a friend named Ezra. Oh yeah? Yeah, I used to hang out with him.

Is this a Jewish story?

They're Jewish. One day his older brother Alex went to punch him in the face and he ducked and then he punched me in the eye and I got a black eye.

Wait, you were standing behind him? So this is a report. It's not a story.

How old were you? So if anyone knows anyone, I could report this to you.

And also this isn't really about Alex, it's about what he did to you.

Yeah, well it's kind of, was it Alex's fault or was it Ezra's fault?

Alex's should have taken that punch for you. That punch was meant for him.

If Alex was punching, it's his fault. I wanted a black eye. What?

Yeah, it doesn't matter. We couldn't do that.

No, no, this matters. Okay, this email comes from... This email comes from Kevin Griffin, which is two first names. Hey crew, been loving the podcast since day one and just subscribed to the Patreon. That's how you begin an email. None of this, my riddles are bad. Keep up the good work here are a bunch of riddles I wrote for my D&D games. When the players need to outwit a riddle spouting sphinx, try saying that five times fast, you fucking make me Kevin, you come down here and you fucking make me. You can use that info as a pre-hint since you'll know that all of the answers Okay, now we're gonna read that part. And then there are some hints to these as well, but they are all in white letters. Man, I love it when people do the hints in an invisible ink. Cool. Riddle number one. When you gaze upon myself, you'll see me and no one else. I can't be tasted, touched, or smelled, but fire kills me for a spell. And ever if I don't seem near, just close your eyes. And I'll appear. Memory.

What am I?

Darkness. So Becca says memory of a grandparent. Fire kills a memory of a grandparent. Water kills it for a spell?

Thank you. I'm so fucking tired.

I was saying that mostly because the answer is darkness. Oh, I'm sorry, fire kills me for a spell. Yeah, duh.

Yes, the answer is darkness.

Erin, do you want the hint too? Sure. Focus on it's something you can see when you close your eyes and fire kills it.

In darkness.

Yeah, well, Eric got it, but I wanted to know, did the hint help in retrospect?

No.

In hindsight?

Because I already got it. Okay.

What has mountains, lakes, and hills, beaches, trees?

My body. Nice. My body, nice.

Oh yeah, those body lakes. What has mountains, lakes, and hills, beaches, trees, and cities built, and could be shredded with a knife, but does not hold a shred of life?

A globe.

A map. Atlas. Matt-apolis.

Topographic map.

Topographic map.

A map.

The answer is a map.

I think, would a globe still work?

Let's see. Globes don't have lakes, so no. Globes have everything but lakes.

I want to see a scene with Becca and JPC. You two will be Lewis and Clark. You're exploring the Louisiana Purchase, making maps about all your discoveries along the way. Ah, another beautiful day on the trail, hey Lewis?

Yes, Clark. We don't talk like that. I'm sorry, you go ahead.

I saw a beaver the other day.

Yes, I know I need to shave. I'm sorry.

No!

It's fine. I like it that way.

It does make me feel like it's like a prepubescent.

What do you think will go down in history as?

You and I?

Well, what do I hope or what do I think will actually happen?

I hope that people will think that we are brave explorers who charted uncharted territory and brought a richness of spirit back to the American lands. I really, really, really hope that we're not thought of as those two people who went out in the wilderness, fucked a bear, Had the bear fall in love with us, then the bear. My ears are burning. Oh boy. Hey Jeff! Morning. Good morning. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey. I made breakfast.

You don't have to write any of this down. We don't have to tell anyone about this.

I know, eventually we'll shoot the bear. When we get to Oregon, we'll kill the bear, throw the bear into the ocean. Hey, can I defecate in those woods? Will anyone know about it Jeff?

That's why I'm asking.

Oh boy, we should, we, you know, we never should have, uh, we never should have brought you.

Best friends. Uh oh. I made us all necklaces. Whoa, these smell awful. Is this your feces? They're made of bones. Man, think about people in the future talking about Lewis and Clark and Bear.

New adventures.

Of old Christine. She won't name me for that.

I've just made every scene a relationship scene no matter what the context. Well you're a good improviser. Thank you.

With sad women. Ready for number three? I'll break your mind and body. Make you fight.

I saw a Chris Angel show once and for his final act he just put up a huge curtain and then when they opened the curtain again someone was levitating and I was like that's trash. I could put a curtain up too. I was pissed as hell.

Did you yell that's trash?

Yeah, so that's trash.

Yeah, but I've also never seen you put a curtain up, so can you do it?

Jeff! I went to the Luxor once and was gambling and walking around the floor, and then somebody excitedly approached me and they say, I work for the Luxor, are you enjoying your stay? And I'm like, yeah, it's a big pyramid, fun. And they're like, I have something special for you. Here's free tickets tonight to go see Carrot Top. And I laughed at them. And then they were like, no, I'm serious. And I'm like, oh, I don't want these to happen. But they were like so crestfallen, where they're like, surely I thought I'd make this person's day. But I'm like, I don't want your, I don't want this garbage. What year was this? This was 2009 or something? I can't remember.

2009? You wouldn't see Carrot Top in 2009? Who's the biggest name in tops? It's whenever he had a residency at Luxor, which is a while ago. I think the Dragle was the biggest name in tops. Becca, this is not a Jewish podcast.

Nope. Still working on it. I'm sure for the high Riddle Riddle.

I'll break your mind and body, make you fight or make you fly. And if you try to rush me, I will kill you where you lie. Yet people spend their fortunes just to meet me for a night. I'm known and loved across the world. Speak by name and you'll be right.

Relief from anxiety? KJ just nodded their head.

KJ's got it. KJ just keeps covering their face in that composition notebook, inscrutable. I'll break your mind and body, make you fight or make you fly, and if you try to rush me, I will kill you where you lie. Yet people spend their fortunes just to meet me for a night. I'm known and loved across the world. Speak my name and you'll be right."

Have you ever seen that clip of the Say You Think You Can Dance Junior with Paula Abdul? The what? The reality show of So You Think You Can Dance but it's like kids. Oh yeah. A little girl dances and she does so well and she's so excited and they say that she moved on so she runs up and gives Paula Abdul a hug and then throws up. Oh yes. Did she? I've never rewatched anything more because Paula Abdul is like, absolutely not.

That's awesome.

Also, throwing up from Joy is gotta be one of the funnier things you can do.

Also, Paula Abdul is probably getting paid so much money to judge that children's dance competition that it's like, fuck you, you got thrown up on.

Joy throw up. KJ is dying.

I cleaned poop out of my dog's butthole today for free. Just wait for her to go to the vet. It wasn't coming fast enough. Daddy wants it now!

KJ, the second this is over, look up that clip.

Do you have any bodily functions?

I was just curious if anyone here has any bodily functions they can't control when they feel a certain emotion.

like when you feel like excitement has anyone ever like been like oh I feel nauseous or when I feel like fear I was gonna say when I get really horny to come I don't know if I have never said this out loud before sometimes when I get way too cold I pee I pee my pants a little

Just to warm yourself up?

No, I think my body... I don't know. I don't know. I think your body's trying to warm yourself up.

How cold?

Pretty cold. You're shivering right now, are you? If I'm waiting on a platform sometimes, I'll pee a little.

Well maybe your body's energy can't... Don't tell anybody! You said that directly into a microphone! Apparently they say if you have to pee, and then you go outside, you're going to get colder faster because you're using your energy... Colder, faster, harder. So maybe your body's like, I need to prioritize keeping you warm, so I'm going to not prioritize holding in your pee pee.

I've never said this out loud before. If I study too hard, I shit my pants. Shut up. When I'm really jealous, my nose bleeds.

That would be incredible. I'm so happy for you!

When I'm fake in sincerity, my nose does bleed. Fake sincerity, which is called insincerity. Okay. None of you have gotten this riddle correct yet. I will say this one's tricky. Give us a hint. I'll break your mind and body. The hint is that this is a liquid.

Okay. Oh, right, right, right.

No, no, that was not part of this. That was the other ones were all liquids. This one is just a liquid.

Okay, but it is a liquid.

I'll break your mind and body, make you fight or make you fly, and if you try to rush me, I will kill you where you lie. Yet people spend their fortunes just to meet me for a night. I'm known and loved across the world. Speak my name and you'll be right.

Is it a drug?

Yeah.

Alcohol? Yes. Is it alcohol?

It's alcohol. Erin is like six for six today. What was that, Erin? That was an outburst. Yes, the answer is alcohol.

There's an incredible, so you think you can dance, dance about addiction, if anyone can.

Oh, I've seen Is it to Gravity by Sara Bareilles? Yes. So good. It's in Capono. Yeah. Unreal.

Al Capono?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Did you know he got into dance?

Yeah, but he'll only dance to Sara Bareilles.

Oh, no!

Al Caponeau sounds like something Adal would say Becca, so just let that sit in. Burn. You suck. Wait a second. What? This is the last one. Ready?

Okay.

Here we rest, my siblings and me shackled side by side, the largest of us first, each one smaller in size behind. Touch us and we'll dance and sing, then quiet over time, and you'll earn all praise as our demanding mastermind. What name for us can you find?

So it's about kids in a line from Tallest to Shortest and if you took them these things.

Oh, it's the Von Traps. The Von Traps in jail. They're all shackled. Louder! It's a Von Trap.

Can you believe I never played that little girl?

Can you believe it?

That's horrible. No, you can't believe it. You can't.

Here we rest, my siblings and me shackled side by side, the largest of us first, each one smaller in size behind. Touch us and we'll dance and sing, then quiet over time, and you'll earn all praise as our demanding mastermind."

Is it an instrument?

I think I know it. I think it's a xylophone. The answer is not an instrument per se, but it's something on the instrument.

Keys. Peanut keys.

No. Something on an instrument. Fingers. Shackled side by side. The largest of us first. Each one smaller. Strings. Strings, yes. It is instruments, strings. Chimes.

Chimes hang by strings. Oh! Why do I think they were children? Did you say anything in there having to do with children? Siblings.

Okay, cool. I guess it could be chimes too. I could see that. And xylophones are larger to smaller, right? Yeah. Yeah. And they're shackled together. And they're all shackled together. Okay, they all work. Thank you, KG. This was from KG, Kevin Griffin. I guess he goes by KG and also he's an ASL tutor. Age sex location. Male. The beach, baby.

You're hired. You're tutoring people on how to use ASL?

Yeah, ASL. That's what an ASL tutor is, right? When I first saw ASL, like, because it's American Sign Language, I thought it meant like ASL because I grew up in chat rooms, baby. Erin, did you ever use chat rooms? Great.

Sometimes when I was younger, when we had AOL, I'd go into chat rooms and pretend to be someone like older and glamorous. Did anyone ever play a sissy fight? No.

No, was huh?

It was like a game that you could play online and it was like teasing and other kids and like doing stuff to try to win, but it was basically a place for people to chat and talk dirty to each other. One of the guys of a game for children. We can cut that? No.

Nope. We're going to see a quick scene. Erin and Becca, you are both on separate computers. You're playing Kitty Fight?

Sissy Fight. Sissy Fight.

You're playing Sissy Fight together on separate computers and you're like reading out loud what the things that you're typing at.

So, what do you think about butt?

I'm on here to actually play the game very seriously and I don't want to talk about anything inappropriate because this is honestly some... Butts. What's your name?

But? Your name's But? My name is Claire. Claire Butts? No, just Claire. I don't want to say my last name. My parents told me not to. Oh, so you're young. So you're young? Me too. Cool.

So that's okay.

Butts.

Great.

Hey, any bears in here?

Is your name Tom Colicchio?

Uh, no. Is Tom Colicchio a bear? Mm-hmm. Oh.

Butts.

What do you think about butts? Butts are cool, depending on the age.

What?

Older butts are appropriate. Younger butts are not.

You might want to leave then, because I'm about to... I'm a cop.

I'm a bear cop.

Someone should give you a show.

All right Bear Cop in my office now. What did I do? Your mission was to bust the Kitty Talk. You don't even know what might... Hold on, let me, I got a folder in here. The Sissy Talk.

I made us necklaces. I'm sorry? Wow. I made us necklaces. These are great. These are for both of us? Also, I did what you asked and I punched Sissy Spacek.

No! Bear cut! You said sissy fight. That's it. You're off the force. Give me your bear and your gun. What? Uh oh.

Bear, gun on my desk.

Bear, gun in my office. Becca, do you have anything upcoming that you would like to promote?

I'm trying to think about if I earned it. Monday nights at 8pm at the IO Theater, Lil Tooties. It's a fun show.

Oh, that's my favorite Herald team. Becca's on my favorite Herald team.

How much of your ticket's that show?

How much what? How much of your ticket's that show? Tickets. How much of your ticket's that show? You have no idea? Becca doesn't know.

You have no idea. Guess. It's great.

I know. Becca underscore Barish. How much of your ticket's that show?

I know, but I want you to guess. 12. 14. You're worth it. I have no idea. Seriously, they're the best heroes.

There could be 10. Because we're worth it too, but then the kids are saying it not on time with the way that it's supposed to sound.

It's so creepy.

I have a lot to send you after this. Yeah, we're just going to say you're watching YouTube videos. Can I ask one other unrelated question? Did you ever watch WeSing videos?

Oh my god, I was obsessed with We Sing.

Did you watch the Magical Musical Man?

Yeah, it was my favorite one. We named our cat Cadenza because of the name of the cat in the house. Cadenza? Cadenza. It's a musical term.

Yeah. I was just curious because that is a lot about riddles for kids.

Yep.

Yeah. Oh my god. There's this doorknocker who does riddles and then there's this ant who just like is horrendous is trying to solve riddles.

What the fuck is this? It's a kids, it's like a kid series of videos and they have like a bunch of songs in them. Kidzapop.

There's like, we sing in Sillyville, we're about a woman who loses her colors, so you learn about the different colors. There's Big Rock Candy Mountain, and then there's another one that, there's King Cole's Party, but one of my favorite ones is Grandpa's Toys. But in this one, there's all these people who play, do like instruments and do songs and stuff like that, and suddenly they all get stolen from in the middle of the night, and you don't know who they are.

I feel like I'm getting pumped right now, Adal.

Yeah, this feels like a trap.

I was hub-assessed with those videos. You know the Red family from We Sing Sillyville? That is what nightmares are made of.

So check out Becca Barish at WeSingSillyville.com.

JPC, do you remember that show? Who's got the answer now? Oh yeah, with Weasel Cop. Yeah, with Weasel Cop and then there was that Upside Down Kangaroo where the pouch was like more of a face mask.

Yeah, it was a thermometer.

Yeah, there's the leather man.

Oh, I love that song. Children, children, come to here. This is a cake and this is a beer.

Also Becca's in world news tonight with all of us.

That's true. Erin, where can people find you?

Erin Keif 10 on Instagram, and I'll promo my shows there. And Erin Keif 2 on Twitter, but I don't really tweet. Sometimes I retweet Becca.

Thank you.

You're welcome. It's my pleasure.

I was just talking to both Adal and Erin about how I think my tweets are underrated.

I gotta follow you. I gotta follow you.

Yeah, follow me in those places. Oh, also follow us at HeyRiddleRiddle on Instagram and Twitter, and then email us at hrrpodcast.gmail.com if you want to send us some riddles, or more D&D riddles. We can do this again.

Yeah, we'll do this again tomorrow. Yeah, we'll send them in because I know all you nerds are out there rolling your d20s and your d6s.

Also, I've never done D&D because no one's ever asked me. I've never been invited to D&D.

Well, because nobody says, let's do D&D.

Oh, whatever.

So if you play D&D, direct message Erin, invite her to your games.

It's too late.

She wants to go. Adal, what do you plug in? You can check me out in my apartment furiously writing the new movie, Morma Mia. Also check out our website, heyriddleriddle.com.

Yeah. It's easy to remember because it's the name of our show and then you just put dot com on it.

What kind of... Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Becca, why don't you say more shit?

Becca. It's really important. I was going to ask if we could include an audio clip of the door knocker from Magical Musical. Yeah, I can't prove that's true.

We absolutely do.

How do you do, my friend? How do you do?

We do not have the rights to this.

We will.

JPC, anything you want to plug?

Yeah, you can follow me on Twitter at jpsofly or on Instagram at sharkbarkman. Our Patreon is launched and live, so you can find our Patreon at patreon.com slash HeyRiddleRiddle. Five dollars a month, you can join the Clue Crew, and then you get a bonus episode every Friday until we all die. Which is great, and thank you so much to all of the people that have already signed up, and we hope that you enjoy the episodes that are already out live on the site.

Thank you to Becca for being here with us today. Thank you. Who took my voice?

To Becca! And, Becca, I hope that one day you'll come back and join us, but until then, it's time for you to go back to your home planet... of Jupiter! Bye-bye!

That was a hate gun podcast.